#also realizing that there's tragic siblings made me go oh no this is gonna ruin me isn't it

[waitineedaname]

im five episodes into the untamed and this is my impression of wei wuxian so far

#the untamed #im only five episodes into this show but the GRIP IT HAS ON ME ALREADY. GOD. #it has been a LONG time since a hyperfixation grabbed me this hard and this quickly #''hm im bored. maybe I'll watch this show i've seen friends talk about. hm it's kinda corny but im charmed'' #[three episodes later] ''I Am Unwell'' #anyway. i like the characters a Lot so far #can't wait to figure out what the hell wwx's deal is #he's so annoying. i love him. #also realizing that there's tragic siblings made me go oh no this is gonna ruin me isn't it #mdzs

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns

Previously on BnHA: 

Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.

ouch. we knew this was coming, but still

A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”

though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS

this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??

that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this

though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it

and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there

once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback

this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself

“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN

(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)

“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”

lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away

seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”

anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well

definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep

“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??

apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time

anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”

LMAO

the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then

looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four

“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage

and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple

so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight

I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis

guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again

even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well

yep. fuck

that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it

“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man

okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids

but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves

so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about

anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam

sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...

“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”

guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/

oh for fuck’s --

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess

I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here

oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here

ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding

-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI

go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch

POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD

AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK

(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)

you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now

holy shit, actual Rei thoughts

“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol

oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part

get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE

yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich

(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)

and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”

ohhhhhhhh fuck me

LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)

I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh

I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization

and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes

oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji

SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT

oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition

goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes

;_;

well well well would you look at that

imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up

OH MY GOD

holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk

OH MY FUCKING LORD

(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)

“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR

and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then

AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality

so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped

#bnha 302 #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki enji #endeavor #todoroki rei #todoroki shouto #todoroki natsuo #todoroki fuyumi #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #my sincerest apologies for this absurdly long recap which is barely funny at all! #THERE WAS VERY LITTLE HUMOROUS CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER #congratulations horikoshi you win this round

[sometimesrosy]

You said you were sure they were telling a 2 season story so we will get canon Bellarke in s6 but you are already talking about s7 and ‘established Bellarke’ lol which means they won’t be canon in s6. And when we see s7 to see ‘established Bellarke’ you will say they are giving us a satisfying love story so we will see established Bellarke in s8. There’s no end to this and it’s so funny that you don’t even notice your choice of words you already know you are wrong you just can’t admit it i think

I should block you but you’re polite at least, so I’m going to answer this.

I don’t think you understand what it means to be “wrong” about a speculation or interpretation of a story.

If you speculate, you aren’t wrong until it happens in canon differently how you said it would. I cannot be wrong about s6 before s6 starts. It’s still just speculation.

My interpretation that we are getting a two season story for a lot of the current story lines is also not wrong yet. But it is based on the mutliple s5 storylines that were not concluded in s5, but stopped in the middle, without conclusion, but with significant set up for how they might conclude.

I cannot KNOW if they will finish each story. But I do know that they left Bellarke, the blake siblings, madi being commander, raven’s character arc and princess mechanic, kabby, and B/E all with major elements waiting to be told, so that we don’t feel like we know what is happening. Clarke hasn’t even reunited with Raven and Murphy yet. They have two big secrets hanging over us, which will affect two main relationships. The Flame is still a mystery but Madi has a teacher, raven didn’t get the character arc she usually gets in half a season, Abby is still struggling with addiction, Kabby is still on edge, and Kane still might die. And B/E is being set up to break up. All those story elements are in place, but unrelated to the main concluded storyline. 

This is story structure. I cannot TELL what story structure the writers will choose for the next season, but I CAN look at last season’s story structure and see how they have left the audience hanging. Now, if you don’t understand story structure, and can’t see the story from an outside perspective, but only from within the narrative and how the characters and actions make you feel, you might only come away with the feeling that the story is UNFINISHED. Wanting. LIke you’re being cheated of your deserved outcome.

When people say, “THEY BETTER FIX MY FAVORITE RELATIONSHIPS OR I’M GONNA SUE,” that’s how it feels when a story has been left unresolved. If you don’t understand how stories work and you don’t trust the writers, you think the story is just jerking you around and the writers are ruining your favorite characters/ships.

But I am a literal professional. I write and analyze and teach and I have degrees and I have national certifications to authorize me in explaining to people how the stories are made. I’m not making it up. It is not delusional to analyze a story. It IS possible to understand a story being told and figure out which tropes are being you and there are official, academic ways to understand these narrative. Which, I might add, JR ALSO studied when he was learning how to tell stories. At the same time that I was learning how to tell stories. I think I have a particular insight into JRs stories because we are essentially both scifi geeks growing up at about the same time and studying writing at about the same time. Same background. Same language. He was raised on the same pop-culture I was. So I recognize his references. 

Can I be wrong. YOU BET. OF COURSE. I was wrong about them kissing in s5. When I was wrong, I asked myself why I went wrong. Ok. I’ll tell you. Because I was shipping. I wanted them to kiss. Also because I was diminishing the element of romance within the Bellarke story (because it’s scifi, so there’s a bit of scifi bias there,) I didn’t see why they needed to delay it or have ANOTHER obstacle. I wanted to rush it. I was being #teamfuckingkissalready. My bad. JR rushed other romances, I didn’t see why he couldn’t rush Bellarke. And I have never considered B/E to be a real danger, but always the romantic obstacle. This is because I know the trope and the stakes of the love triangle are not high enough for me, because I know Bellamy will pick Clarke and I don’t need to know how. (But HOW is the romance genre story. See? More scifi bias. I diminished the romance story because it wasn’t as important to me.)

So that’s WHY I was wrong. My bias. Lack of patience. So I went back to examine my theories about s5. More rushing. When I realized they were doing B/E I immediately recognized the love triangle trope. And because I immediately recognized it, I jumped over the story in my head. I knew how it would turn out, so I was like “okay that’s done, let’s go.” When I heard the first four episodes only portrayed about one day, something in my head went, “uh oh, you’re theory’s off. this is going much slower than you thought and there’s no time for the love triangle to resolve.” But because I was shipping, I said, “PISH POSH BRING ON THE BELLARKE!” and I ignored the understanding that the narrative required me to slow down. I ignored my own understanding of story structure so I could get what I wanted.

When I look at my speculation WITHOUT the rushing though, it’s like a path, where it hits certain benchmarks so that it can get to the next one. WhenI look at the narrative of season 5, it is hitting a lot of those benchmarks that I said would happen, but it only got half way. It didn’t take a different path than I said it would. It is telling the same story that I said it was going to tell, but it is only half way on the story. It did do something, however, that I did not expect, because I was being impatient. It SET UP the story. 

I don’t need the set up, because I can see the story without having it spelled out for me. YOU, apparently, need the story drawn out and the colors numbered and little pots of paint so you know what goes where before you can see what the picture is showing. Fair enough. I’m not actually the general audience. I have inside information on story and narrative and scifi. I know the story before he tells it because I know what conventions he’s using, because if I were writing it, I would be making sure I hit those benchmarks. And, just so you know, I know he is actively working on those benchmarks, because he keeps hitting them. And he also, in season 5, went back and addressed some major issues with OLD storylines so that we could have closure on them. Which tells me more about the NON-romantic storyline, and gives me faith that romantic storyline is indeed a slow burn, intentional story that coincides with these moral, philosophical, thematic storylines that he is wrapping up.

Let me tell you something. This story is almost over. The characters are becoming the heroes they were meant to be. We have Bellamy for evidence, and Clarke is finally coming out of her “love is weakness” cloud. The grounders are gone. The earth is gone. Bellarke are together. The phase of the story that is ended is the one where Clarke and Bellamy have to fight to survive. They’ve broken the cycle of violence and the new story is…. now this is speculation but I think there’s textual evidence for it…. Clarke and Bellamy fighting to LIVE. This is a theme that we had in season 1 but the characters could never get to because they were always fighting to survive. NOW they have actively turned to wanting to live well, to deserving to survive, and to LOVING. The people who have lost faith are finding it again. The people who never believed are now The Good Guys.

Now that I’ve gone exhaustively through how I was wrong in season 5, why I was wrong, and what I do when I am wrong, I could make a long list of all the ways I have been right about this show, but I won’t. I find I am less interested in proving myself right than I am in showing you how to think about things, even when you are wrong. How you can UNDERSTAND things and evaluate your own thinking and double check your own interpretations. So I am instead going to turn to where YOU are wrong. :) 

First you don’t understand what it means to be wrong. Or in what ways I was wrong. You can be wrong about some of your interpretation, and right about other parts. Also, being doesn’t mean you are no good. Also my interpretations aren’t really about being right or wrong, but about ways to think about story and evidence. Also, it’s not a big deal if you’re wrong about an interpretation of a tv show because it’s just a tv show, and having a wrong interpretation doesn’t mean you don’t or can’t understand, you are delusional, or your whole career and academic discipline is a fake. It’s a discipline, a way to understand things. Being off track just means that you find a different path to understanding. You also learn from when you are wrong by saying, “Oh well I was wrong, let me look at that differently and see what I can learn from it.” So where I was wrong can actually teach me more about what’s happening in the story than being right. Like way back in season 3 I was wrong to say L was NO kind of hero (because I didn’t like her) so I looked at what the other person was saying and asked myself. Okay then. Maybe she IS a hero. Let me check her against the heroic conventions. And fucking GOOGLED heroic conventions and I said. OH HOLY HECK SHE’S A CLASSIC TRAGIC HERO. Like Hamlet or Macbeth. Her part in the story painted her as the tragic hero of a tragedy. While Clarke was still the hero of the main story. Being wrong helped me to understand the story MUCH better. :)

Y’all should stop being so afraid of being wrong. That’s how you learn and grow and get better and understand the world. 

Also. You are confused about some terms.

There are different ways to understand a romance. And fandom has come up with changing definitions of what a Canon Romance is. That doesn’t mean the story isn’t a romance or a love story. That means fandom is changing the benchmark every time Bellarke hits it. Which means fandom definitions are wrong. Because a definitions helps us understand something, and if you change it every time it is correct, you are no longer using the word correctly and it becomes meaningless. Yes, language is fluid. No that does not mean you can just stop words from meaning what they mean, you are not Donald Trump. 

Fandom tends to use the words “canon romance” to be one of three things. Kiss/Confession/Sex. Fandom does not believe that a romance is canon unless it has those things. Sometimes ONE of those things will be enough. Sometimes ALL of them need to be present. They also require the word “Love” to be used. HOWEVER, that word seems to change. Because Octavia told Bellamy that Clarke was a “traitor who you love,” and has fandom has since been trying to bend over backwards to prove that it was platonic, despite being a comparison to his completely non platonic girlfriend. So Bellarke actually hit a slant benchmark with the declaration of love, but fandom refuses to accept that as proof of a canon love. Despite it being canon. About how Bellamy loves clarke romantically. IDK. 

So that’s a problem with the kiss/confess/sex definition of canon. Another problem is that we have canon kiss/confess/sex from CL Kabby, Linctavia, Marper, Memori and from Flarke, and those are considered canon romances. We have canon kiss/sex, with no confess from Br/aven and Niylarke, and those are both considered canon romances, despite br/aven being actually platonic since then and niylarke just being friends, while canon kiss/sex, still with no actual confession B/E is being moved into the “endgame” category by MUCH of fandom.  We have canon kiss/confess for Maya and Jasper (one sided) and for Mackson, which is established for SIX YEARS. And then we have all Bellamy’s season 1 conquests which could be just kissing or simply laying in bed together. Now ALL of those are considered canon romances, despite having MANY different meanings, from nothing but a fuck, to actual life long many decades committed endgame. But they are all accepted as a canon romance. 

But the couple who has been declared and shown to be the ACTUAL CENTRAL RELATIONSHIP ON THE SHOW is not good enough for you to consider canon.

They love each other romantically, and that is CANON. Which makes it a Canon Romance. NOT platonic, no matter how many times fandom throws that word around. Because platonic love is not allowed to have romantic feelings. And feelings of jealousy and longing and pining and love like your girlfriend are expressing romantic interest. 

ALSO, a canon romance is a romance story that is being told in the canon. One of the really odd definition of canon romance fandom gives actually excludes the hero and heroine of an actual love story from being canon. Why? Because a love story is ABOUT two people falling in love and getting together. And, depending on the story being told, that means that while there should be moments where they get closer and the interest or possibility is revealed, the story is ACTUALLY ABOUT THEM NOT BEING TOGETHER. AND HOW THEY FIND EACH OTHER. AND GET PAST THE OBSTACLES IN THEIR WAY.

A love story that does not have obstacles or separations is not a love story. Because love stories are how they go from not being in love to being in love. If the story starts with being in love and they stay in love, it’s not a love story, it’s an established relationships story. If a story starts with being in love and ends with them not being in love, it’s a break up story. If a story starts with a couple being in love and discovers another person whom one of the partners falls in love with, whether that partner chooses the original love or the new love, that’s a LOVE TRIANGLE. If they choose the first partner, it’s an affair story that overcomes odds. If they choose the second partner, it’s a love story. Because it goes from them not being together to the being together. SO one defining characteristic of a love story is that for at least PART of the time of the story, the lovers are NOT TOGETHER. That means that being NOT TOGETHER is part of ANY canon love story. And for SOME stories, that means that the lovers are not together all the way until the climax of the action. Because the climax of the action IS THEM GETTING TOGETHER.

You would NEVER say that Elizebeth and Darcy is not a canon love story. But by fandom definitions, until the end, there is no love story AT ALL, and Elizabeth and Darcy are not canon. And it just makes me FURIOUS that all you supposed shippers are going around IGNORING the story of deepening love, because they haven’t boinked. THAT IS NOT WHAT A LOVE STORY IS.

Go back over that crowd of fandom approved canon ships. Most of them were two ships passing in the night. Some of them were real love but over. Some of them are background relationships that get no story development. And meanwhile, we have BELLARKE, which is given FIVE SEASONS of growth and development and ever intensifying feelings, and you’re like, nope. It’s not romantic. You’re all fake shippers. Shippers look for the love. But the more love you get on screen between Bellarke, the more you’re like, nope, it’s not happening. 

NOW. Let’s talk about what you say I said.

As established, a canon romance can mean many things. When I talk to fandom, I generally mean a kiss/confession/sex. Because that seems to be the definition for those of you who don’t understand what love is.  Despite a kiss meaning very little, sex being, in this world, quite likely to just be scratching an itch not proof of love at all, and the word “love” being just a word. Finn said he loved Clarke and Raven, but how did that show up in his actions or how he treated them? IDK man. Y’all are looking for the cheap show without any depth. but okay. That’s what you want. So when I say CANON, I say I think Bellamy and Clarke will kiss, confess and/or have sex in season 6.

None of that makes a relationship established, bunny rabbit. Established relationships are: Marper, Kabby, Linctavia, Bellina, B/E, Finn and Raven, Mackson, Briller, Memori, Jake and Abby. An established relationship is one that is acknowledged IN CANON as romantic and committed couple. That’s boyfriend/girlfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife etc. 

CL and Flarke were NEVER established relationships. Both were secret. They were not public about it. They were not committed. They were more than one night stands, but they were NEVER declared a relationship by ANY of the characters involved. They were a physical expression of feeling and THEN a break up, because he was cheating in Flarke’s case, and because she was trying to kill Clarke’s people in CLs case (she then died which ensured that Clarke was traumatized and they never got to see if it ever COULD work out. But before that they never made an attempt. That was a goodbye.)

Established relationships =/= as fandom definition of canon relationship. Which is silly. Fandom wants the definition that doesn’t actual define love or romance or commitment. And they will accept canon porn as a more valid love story than an actual love story where the heroes have not kissed yet. :/

So here is what I am saying about Bellarke that you don’t understand.

Bellarke is a love story: Bellarke is the central love story of The 100. It IS a love story that has been CONSISTENTLY developed for 5 seasons and is being pushed into romantic NOW at the end of s4 and all of s5. Bellarke is a love story. Whether or not they have kiss/confess/sex yet. It is a love story like Pride and Prejudice in which the development of feelings grows without physical contact or verbal acknowledgement until nearer the end. To me, as a writer, I know that the main relationship in a love story is a CANON ROMANCE, because it is ABOUT how they fall in love, even if they are not always IN a relationship. They are the love story. But that is not how fandom thinks of canon romance.

Bellarke currently have unstated but returned canon romantic feelings: It is CURRENTLY a canon ROMANCE, because there is a love triangle between Clarke, Bellamy, and Echo. We have canon feelings on all three sides. Bellamy returns romantic feelings for BOTH Clarke AND Echo. It has been revealed with CANON dialogue, action, narrative, and visuals. A love triangle means it is canon romance. If someone WANTS to ship them, that is enough to count as a canon romance, but if someone wants to be an anti, they will dispute and say it’s not canon until kiss/confess/sex.

I speculate there will be fandom approved canon Bellarke ( a kiss/confession/sex scene) next season: This is speculation. But I know it’s a love story and Belarke are in love and everyone knows except Echo and Bellarke. The love triangle will be resolved next season because it has been set up that way. And that is the next step. Bellamy will break up with echo and however long it takes, begin a romantic relationship expressed physically with Clarke. 

I speculate that season 7 will be an ESTABLISHED Bellarke relationship: That means that when it goes physical in season 6, it might take some time to sort out what it means, but their feelings are so deep that they will commit to each other by announcing their relationship to their community. They’re already “married” now they will get to kiss in public. Their deep soulmate relationship will be recognized not just as girlfriend and boyfriend but something closer to husband and wife. 

You are complaining that I’m confused and wrong, when you don’t realize that Love story, canon romance, established relationship are all different things. You complain about my word choice without realizing that I am saying different things. I guess you think I’m not being specific? No. I’m being quite specific and delineating different kinds of and levels of romantic relationships in stories. You think these are vague terms because fandom doesn’t think past boinking.

I also believe that The 100 will end at season 7. I could definitely be wrong about that. It’s not about story, it’s about hollywood and I don’t understand hollywood and how they make their choices, or I’m not interested in understanding or something? 

But I see the story winding down. I said it could end in season 5… and it did. With the end of book 1, but there was still story to be told. And we still have more show. Hurrah. JR has said that he could end the show in five or seven seasons or he could go on forever. So I can see the end of season 7, because a lot of the storylines we have been going through are wrapping up. A main one is Bellarke. JR has brought them back together, as soulmates, aligned together to be the good guys. That is the 1-5 season story. It has set Bellarke up to now REDEEM humanity, not just save them from destruction, but build a better world because they are now choosing to be the good guys. It has ALSO set up Bellarke to become romantic finally, by putting their non-romantic relationship into a romantic love triangle with Echo between them, and by having Monty tell them to live life and be as happy as he and Harper (endgame romance.) Can Echo be SATISFIED with Bellamy loving his “non-romantic” partner more than he loves her? You know what? If you think thats a good story, you keep on thinking that’s gonna happen. I think the better story is that the hero and heroine who have spent five seasons FIGHTING to be together ACTUALLY get together and get to show their actual romantic feelings for each other. 

I think JR gave us a whole season of Bellarke reuniting and sorting out their romantic feelings for each other, and will give us a whole season of them trying to figure out how to ACT on their feelings for each other, ending the season with a commitment to be together, ROMANTICALLY and in public (along with saving/redeeming their people) and that in season 7, that commitment and acknowledgment will result in full established relationship as they FINALLY get to be TOGETHER while they’re together, without the doubts and fears and insecurity. As mature adults who love each other and know each other and support each other and make each other stronger. So that they can create the new world and START the new cycle without violence, war or abuse, but rather love, unity and growth. And we will end with Clarke and Bellamy being the matched pair, the king and queen, nomon and nontu, Mother and father of a new age of humanity. It’s an origin story for a future mythology. 

But I don’t know. I guess you think JR is just fucking with us because he’s a bastard. You’re real good at storytelling. Thanks for the insight. 

#oops my rant slipped #the 100 #belarke #believe in bellarke #speculation #canon romance #love story #romance genre #established relationship #i'm so tired of blorke antis looking to prove bellarke dead when all they have to do is open their eyes and canon bellarke is right there

[eternlmisery]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder (Rewritten- 7/?)

Read also on ao3 | Read Rewritten on ao3 

“How is Iris doing?” Leonard asked as he walked inside Sara’s apartment the following day; the short blonde looking at him from her spot on the sofa. She was still in a sports bra and shorts and she really looked like she wasn’t in the mood for an early morning. “Don’t kill me. I bear coffee and bagels.”

“Give me; I’ve only been asleep for two hours.” He handed her the coffee as he sat on an armchair and sipped his own hot beverage. Sara let out a moan; thankful that Leonard had memorized how she took her coffee.

“Is the CSI okay?” Leonard asked and Sara sighed; reaching for the bagel that Leonard had set on the coffee table.

“His heart keeps failing… It’s like the doctors can’t figure out what is happening to him. But he appears to be on a coma and they have him on life support. Iris and her dad are just wrecks; they don’t know if he’ll ever wake up.”

“Dr. Wells’ groundbreaking device did more harm than good… Not surprised. Even though I think it killed Scudder and Dillon.”

“Seriously?”

“Mick left bright and early to see if they were still there and all he saw was blood. He is actually looking to find where they have other safe houses. We are probably spending Christmas tracking them down and taking care of them once and for all.”

“Actually this sounds much better than Christmas with my family.”

Leonard lifted an eyebrow at her confession.

“I sense something is bothering you. Go on…”

“It’s the first time I’ll spend the holidays with my family since I came back and it’s just that… I am not one for an awkward dinner and then people singing me happy birthday when officially… I’m dead.”

“What? You told me your birthday was during Winter but… Christmas?”

“I absolutely hate being a Christmas baby so please don’t remind me. The point is that they expect me to come back and act like everything is okay and somehow these past years never happened… But they’ll never look at me the same way. I’m the reason my family is ruined and now I’ll have to act like that’s okay and be all smiles in the same table as Oliver and Laurel and my parents.”

“You can always say that you have to stay here and you, Lisa, Mick and I can go grab some beers and get drunk.”

“Tempting, but I’ll never hear the end of it from my mom if I don’t show up. Especially after I skipped Thanksgiving.” She pointed out and Leonard frowned. He knew that Sara loved her family, but acting like her years away from them didn’t change her would be very difficult for her.

“Whatever you want, Canary… Just know that if you want to trade a homemade meal for Big Belly Burger and beers I’ll be here.” Sara smiled at him softly; understanding passing between them and she kept drinking her coffee with the same smile until she glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned.

“I have to get ready; I have a class in one hour at the university. Wanna join me for another cup of coffe… tea for you, of course..?”

 “Is he hot?” Iris asked Sara as they drove towards the train station. It was the day before Christmas Eve and Iris was kind enough to drive Sara there so she wouldn’t have to leave her own car on the station for almost three days.

“Stop! He is just a friend and only that…” Iris turned from the steering wheel and looked at her with raised eyebrows. “But yeah he is very hot.”

“So, are you gonna make a move on him or not?” She questioned and the blonde snorted. She had told her about her past a little bit, but made sure to leave out certain details (like being trained as an assassin, her being friends with criminals and being a vigilante).

“Again, he is just a friend. Besides… I don’t think it could ever work between us. You and Detective Pretty Boy on the other hand…”

“Oh, look! We’re here! Too bad we have to cut this amazing conversation short.” Iris looked at the watch on her wrist. “You have a bit until your train arrives; want me to stay and keep you company?”

“No, it’s okay. You go back to Barry and your dad. They need you right now.” She answered and pulled her friend for a hug.

“Give Oliver, Felicity and the rest of their friends our love. Barry will appreciate all of them being so worried about him when he wakes up.”

“I will. Take care of yourself.” Sara stated before grabbing the gym bag she had used as an impromptu suitcase, and going out on the cold winter night. She chose to travel late in the afternoon so she would arrive home to Starling at a logical time.

She started walking towards the platform when suddenly she felt footsteps behind her. They were faint and careful and somehow eerily familiar, and then she heard that god-damned drawl.

“Think you were gonna leave without saying goodbye?” Asked Leonard Snart who smirked as soon as Sara turned to look at him.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Keystone City; tracking Dillon and robbing people blind?” He chuckled as he approached her and they sat on two of the empty seats on the train platform.

“I was, but word got around that someone saw that bi-… I mean, Rosalind… in Central, cashing a liquor store. Mick is checking it out right now.” Leonard paused looking at Sara with a smirk. “But I wanted to say goodbye to you properly.”

“I hope you won’t totally fall apart without my presence for three days.” Sara told with and he smirked.

“I might. Lisa wants me, her and Mick to try to cook and get drunk and last time Mick almost set the entire building on fire.” The blonde tried to stifle her laughing. “I’m not joking! You might come back and I’ll be flambé.”

“And that would be the most tragic cause of death for Captain Cold. Poor Len.” She explained as Leonard cracked a smile also.

Suddenly she heard the sound of the train along the rails in the distance and she turned to Leonard; standing up and grabbing her bag.

“That’s my ride.” Leonard put his hands in the pockets of his black skinny jeans… letting out a breath and contemplating what his next move should be in his head. “See you in three days.”

And then she was dropping the bag on the stone floor and wrapping her arms around his waist; pulling him in for a hug. Leonard felt himself freeze at the odd comfort of her touch but he soon relaxed and melted in the sweet embrace they shared. His chin rested on her forehead and she nuzzled her face on the crook of his neck. Sara was the first to pull back upon realizing that she actually had to board the train in order to go to Starling.

“I… I’ll see you when I get back.” She told him as she quickly retrieved her bag and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Leonard still stood there with his hand limp on each side… just staring at her in wonder.

“Yeah. Uhm, have a safe trip and have fun.” Leonard muttered and took a step back, and further away from her. “Don’t vigilante a lot without me.”

“Cross my heart.” She answered as she ran towards the train, leaving the thief once again alone. How could the blonde be a few feet away and already make him feel like he misses her?

But Mick was right.

Feelings were bullshit and he was better off without any.

So he turned and started walking towards the exit; not noticing Sara who was staring at him from her seat inside her train…

Because even though her body was going to Starling City, her mind and heart would be left in Central… safely stored in Leonard’s eyes…

 “Come on, we have to get drunk! It’s the night before Christmas, Lenny!” Lisa shrieked as she hit her brother on the shoulder. The older man glared at Lisa; ignoring her protests. “Please don’t tell me you are in a mood because Sara is in Starling City… It’s literally been one day and I saw you texting her like ten minutes ago.”

“Can you drop it?” He snapped at her as Mick walked out of his bedroom and looked between the two siblings. He raised his eyebrows; knowing that Leonard had been grumpy from the moment he heard Sara would have been going to Starling for the holidays.

“Snart, stop being a downer and grab a jacket and shoes. We are going to drink so much you won’t even remember blondie’s name.”

Lisa smiled at him; grabbing her own leather jacket and sitting next to Mick until leonard finally decided to get ready.

Three hours and many many drinks later, the three of them were almost black out drunk in Saints and Sinners. Lisa was playing pool with a couple of the patrons of the bar (and totally kicking their asses), while Mick and Leonard sat close by with a second bottle of whiskey in their table.

“She’s really grown up hasn’t she?” Mick slurred all of the sudden as he observed Lisa who was cheering because she won. Again.

“Glad you noticed it after all this time, Mick.”

“I mean, we’re old.”

Leonard started laughing; dammit Jack Daniel’s.

“Yes we are. But we still kick ass.”

“I’m not having a mid-life crisis man.” Mick told him and re-filled his glass. “It seems like yesterday we were robbing that toy store and getting her dolls for Christmas because Lewis was too much of a dick to get her anything.”

“She is better than us. Always been. She has empathy, even though she wants to act like she doesn’t. Reminds me of mom.” Mick turned and looked at him, understanding that the alcohol was making him say things he usually wouldn’t.

“She just didn’t have many options what do with her li-.”

Leonard’s phone, which was placed on the table started buzzing; interrupting Mick. It was right after three so it could only be a couple of people. Glancing at the screen he noticed the name of the caller and a smile appeared on his face.

“Yeah yeah go and talk to blondie.” Mick prompted as he downed another glass and shook his head.

After accepting the call and moving towards the bathrooms, he brought his phone to his ear.

“H’llo.” He drawled but it came out mostly like a messed up word. He heard a small laugh from the other end of the line.

“Merry Christmas Grinch.” Sara told him, but he could tell from the tone of her voice that she was saying it good heartedly.

“Season's Greetings, Mrs. Lance and Happy Birthday.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No. Nope. I have very tall alcohol tolerance if you must know!” Sara snorted.

“It’s ‘high’ not ‘tall’, but you already know that because you aren’t drunk.” She answered as she looked out of the window of Laurel’s guest bedroom. “How are you spending this holy night?”

“Mick and Lisa dragged me to Saints and Sinners for our annual drunken night before Christmas… Or is it morning now? Whatcha doing up so late?” He asked as a lady bolted by him and then proceeded to throw up in one of the toilets. “Don’t worry just a lady puking a few feet away.”

“Sounds like a blast. We have time difference now, remember? It’s 1:04 here and we just came back from a great dinner. My mom kept asking me about the university and Oliver and I exchanged a very awkward handshake. He couldn’t even look at me and I think that he may or may not be hooking up with my sister again and I’m totally over this whole situation.”

“Would you like him to be hooking up with someone else?” His voice sounded strained; like he was trying to hide his anger.

“You mean me?... Of course not. I have been over Oliver for a long time now…” She took a big breath. “In fact I have my eye on someone else.”

“Oh, and who that lucky fella or lady might be?” He mumbled as he leaned his head against the wall.

“Well let’s say he really likes the cold.” For a moment both of them didn’t talk. They stayed silent; realizing what had just happened.

“Lance, I-.”

“Sara! Are you still awake?” He heard a voice from the background that probably was Laurel’s.

“I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Please don’t get stabbed in an alley or something.”

“Good night.”

Leonard felt his heart literally pounding on his ear, as he turned towards the bar and walked back to his table where Mick and Lisa were now both seated. As soon as they noticed his doubt founded face they smirked.

“What happened loverboy?” Mick asked him as Leonard snorted and moved towards the bar; ordering a bottle of vodka which the bartender who had become accustomed to by now, handed to him with a smile. It was commonly known between the three of them, that Leonard only drunk vodka when he had something very important to think about or something was stressing him.

“Uh huh, did the pretty canary not want Lenny?” Lisa said in a cheery voice as she squeezed her brother’s cheek. “Cause if ya want to we can take a train right now and go there to kick her ass for not liking you!”

“Calm down sis. All is well.” Leonard told her and even though Mick knew that his best friend was lying; he didn’t say anything… knowing better than to open a conversation like that in front of Lisa. She was just as protective towards Leonard as he was towards her and sometimes her love for her brother could easily cloud her vision when it came to people who hurt him.

But Sara hadn’t hurt him.

She had just admitted that she was interested in him too and suddenly nothing was simple anymore. A part of him hoped that the next morning he would forget all about it, but then he wanted to remember this… Sara was closer to him than ever at that moment. Even if she was 600 miles away… She was there.

She was there.

In his mind, in his heart and in his very soul… Sara Lance had made a complete sap out of him.

“Lenny?”

“Yeah, what?”

“Everything okay?” Lisa’s eyebrows had furrowed as she looked at her brother’s face concerned.

“Yeah… Merry Christmas, Lis. Merry Christmas Mi-… He passed out?” Lisa cocked her head to the side and nodded; looking at Mick who had just fallen on the floor flat on his back. “Well, wanna carry him to the car and get some Big Belly Burger on the way back?”

Lisa smiled; that toothy, happy and excited smile he hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“I would love that Lenny.”

#sara lance #leonard snart #sara x leonard #captain cold #white canary #white canary x captain cold #cc fic #the crook to my assasin fic #rewritten cc #mick rory #lisa snart #heatwave #golden glider

[ampwich-blog]

SPOILER review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Alright, I’m just gonna dive into spoilers and go all out. So if you haven’t seen this movie, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

My thoughts coming out of the theater: WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED? By far, the WEIRDEST Star Wars movie ever! It made me feel like I was on an acid trip or some crap. All psychedelic and what not.....It didn’t help that I hadn’t gotten much good sleep prior, either. I had kept putting off seeing the movie until a day I was more AWAKE. But I decided to get it over with and just go see it already. And boy, is it a weird experience.....I had to actually pinch myself once to make sure it was all real and wasn’t some crazy dream. It is real....WHAT THE HECK. Rian Johnson, Lucasfilm,.....yall need Jesus, lol.

Anyway, let us actually begin.....

The title crawl......The main theme is better this time around. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s actually the theme used in the prequels. (At least, that’s what I could have swore my ears heard) Or at least, an updated version of that same tune, if that makes sense. The scenario the crawl introduces us to is absolutely horrible, in my opinion. The First Order are now in total control?? The Resistance are seriously just another rebellion? REALLY? They legit say it straight up in the crawl, and like a dozen times in a movie....THEY ARE REBELS. UGH.....so much for that good New Republic action.....

The way the movie starts off is pretty neat. I don’t quite remember it, but I do know it showed a bunch of Resistance ships, and panned down to D’Qar. Pretty cool, and I am glad they didn’t just do another star destroyer opening. I was a bit nervous it was just gonna rehash the original trilogy in that aspect.

The bombers leave the planet just as their base is blown away. (Well, I guess destroying a Death Star to save their base in the nick of time AGAIN was pretty pointless) While the ships are cool, they don’t do a whole lot as they just get destroyed all on the spot.....We only see 1 do ANYTHING, and all it does is destroy a frigate (Which has super lasers.....ugh, more super weapons?) before it, too, is blown away. (A lot of luck and chance involved in that whole scene, too) Well alrighty then.....

“This is Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet.” I got chills! I was like, “YEAH!!” “The Republic is gone, Rebel scum,” says Hux. (Something along those lines) I was like “AW, COME ON!” The conversation between Poe and Hux over the intercom was alright, but a little too comedic for a Star Wars movie. But that aside, it was pretty neat and funny. Poe makes a remark about Hux’s mom or something....kind of odd for Star Wars, but still legit, I suppose. Pretty funny moment, anyway. “Can...you hear me?” (Hux would have done a good job working for Verizon) Again, a little too silly, but oh well, fun moment. Hux is tossed around by Snoke (Who had a huge face hologram) from who knows how far away, which felt very rehashy of the Empire days. It took Vader, being the one who communicated with directly and commanded the officers.....and the Emperor, who is a scar faced dark sider who is the leader.....and basically combines those aspects to make Snoke. The First Order really IS another Empire. (And the Resistance really is another Rebellion) They totally act like it in the movie. UGH!!! More on all that stuff later.

They then go on this space chase with loads of First Order capital ships after this 1 Resistance ship and it’s support ships. (Man, the Resistance is WAY smaller than we imagined! And the First Order, likewise, is way bigger!) The whole movie basically revolves around the First Order ships going after the Resistance ships, since apparently the First Order has this new technology that allows them to track ships through hyperspace. (Getting some JJ Abrams’ Star Trek reboot vibes over here.....) So they basically just chase them until they will run out of fuel.....that was more or less the entire movie. Disappointing, yet alright at the same time. I don’t know how to feel about all this......

Finn and Rose go on this weird side quest to do.....THINGS. I honestly forgot what they went to do.....but it had something to do with this key or whatever to Snoke’s ship. They go to Canto Bight, this casino city. Which I thought was gonna be the Cloud City/Kamino of this movie, but apparently not too much, as there isn’t a bunch of landing platforms. The whole city is sort of a big circle-ish platform, SORT OF....so I guess it rhymes in that a little....The horse-thing riding was a bit lame. SO MUCH CGI! SO MUCH SILLY GEORGE LUCAS HUMOR! AAAHHHHH!!!! They had, in the process of running away from the police, freed a bunch of animals. (Basically, mirroring those horse races in real life. The track, the animals in stalls, the rich people betting.....the whole 9 yards) I am told (I was going to the bathroom at this point in the film, as I didn’t care too much about what was going on, and had to pee, lol) that Rose removes a saddle off of one of the creatures and says something like, “NOW our mission is complete.” THAT’S why SHE wanted to go? To save a bunch of “abused” animals? WHAT ABOUT THE SLAVE CHILDREN?! Screw them, I guess.....they’re not animals able to be ridden to escape. So basically, they just USED a bunch of animals for their own needs sake, and called THAT heroic. LOL, what......

Now, about the characters...

Speaking of Finn, he is much more chill in this movie. He was the in-your-face comic relief (Despite his tragic backstory) in the last movie, which I really disliked about his character. But I was pleasantly surprised to see how they treated his character in this movie. He blended in nicely, and was on the same “level” as the other characters. Toward the end, he decides to sacrifice himself to save his friends in the big hanger....place....on Crait. He is flying a ski speeder and going to ram into the big cannon.....I was like “NOO, FINN, NOOOO!” (I actually cared about his character! I’m shocked, too!) But here comes his new lover, Rose, to crash into him and save the day. Kind of ruined the moment, sort of, but oh well, at least he lives!.....? Rose just compromised the Resistance forces to save her crush.....interesting.....and in turn, they will be CRUSHED....ha. But I guess it ultimately all worked out in the end....sort of.....Finn’s sacrifice would have saved more lives though, and been a meaningful, heroic death. But you know.....this movie just isn’t about that life.....heroic, perfect opportunity deaths, what’s that, right? More on that later.

Rose is OKAY, I guess.....though a little crazy. I thought that was her in that bomber in the beginning, but apparently that was her sister. What up with those necklaces, though? Looked like 2 halves of the Rebel emblem, but it didn’t have the middle thing sticking up....basically a big U.....lol, I don’t know. Whatever it was, it looked pretty cool. Reminded me of the real life fan necklaces of the Rebel emblem in half, one side saying “I love you,” the other, “I know.” (AAWWEEE how romantic) This one in the movie, though, of course wasn’t a romantic thing, more like a sibling....bond....thing. By the way, I like how DJ later takes it, in this seemingly desperate situation of barter, but later gives it back, because turns out he just needed it as a conductor for a second, ha.

That new dude, DJ or whatever, is an interesting character. He’s this alcoholic (??) guy who somehow manages to escape jail (Along with Finn and Rose) and make a very not-so-clean getaway. (I mean, seriously....those horses went through walls like 3 times.....Which, by the way, the physics in this movie just defy logic, but more on that later) He turns out to be a traitor and sell them out to the First Order for them good credits....which was a bit odd and not done that well, but it is what it is, I guess. So long, DJ, we hardly knew ya. 

Poe and BB8 are alright in the movie. Poe seems to be this hot head who can’t seem to take orders well, and BB8 seems to show off more of his tools he’s got hidden inside that little sphere body of his. How is all that even possible, anyway? ALL those “fingers” and crap, on top of what was already in there, like that lighter he uses for thumbs up, etc.....How can all that fit in him? Eh, whatever. Poe also meets Rey for the first time (”OH YEAH, they haven’t met yet!” we all realize) which is pretty cool. Yeah.....that’s about it as far as he is concerned.

That new commander lady.....what’s-her-face.....I forgot her name. But anyway.....her character is alright, but kinda lame. She has this whole weird plan that is for the good of the Resistance, yet she acts like it’s this big secret and keeps Poe and everyone else in the dark, making us think she is this traitor person. (Kinda like that Jedi dude in The Clone Wars series) Which, honestly, would have made a way more interesting story. But nope, just a “good guy” with communication problems......The way she goes out, though, is AMAZING! We never seen anything like it. The ship crashing into the bad guys ships by light speed.....slicing through it all like a butter knife....making science question itself as the First Order’s fleet is pretty much obliterated in a weird, stunning, Fruit Ninja fashion. THAT is probably my favorite scene.....However, it should have been Leia who sacrificed herself. It would have been a perfect send away to her character. 

Leia.....She is quite underwhelming in this movie. She does little to nothing....which is a real shame, considering the actress, Carrie Fisher, has now passed away. :( Her last time on the big screen, she didn’t get to do much.....which is very sad and unfortunate. She does not die in this movie, when there was a few opportunities to do so that would have ended the character and done it justice! She could have gone out in a blaze of glory! That should have been her on the Raddius....Whatever-It’s-Called ship! And knowing her character, she would have stubbornly refused to let someone else sacrifice themselves, when she full well could have done so herself. But no.....she’s just like, “Yeah, alright, sure. Good knowing you,” after being convinced way too easily, and she just kinda escapes with everyone else. Before that, (Sorry, this is a bit out of order) she drifted off into space after the bridge was blown up. (Which, by the way, how is it just in tact later in the movie as if that explosion never happened? Am I missing something here? Did I see that right?) That was ALSO a good opportunity to kill her off. (But NO, she’s just still alive and they will have to explain her absence in Episode IX now, seeing as how Carrie Fisher is no longer with us) And what the heck happened there? She just floats in space, (Reminded me of that moment from the Guardians of the Galaxy movie) for a good few seconds, her skin glowing or whatever, and then she manages to use the Force, being all Superman-like, to get back to the ship. ??? WHAT?? Apparently, you can do that with the Force; attract yourself like a magnet to a location.....I shook my head in utter disbelief at that part. I was like “WHAT THE FRICK? BULLCRAP!” To quote Han: “That’s not how the Force works!” I’m sure many of you felt the same way. Did she pull the ship closer to herself, perhaps? No momentum to push herself forward, like all the characters in this universe had to do previously. Just.....WWOOOOOOSSSHHH, steps inside. WELL AIN’T THAT CONVENIENT?

Luke is AWFUL in this movie. He just went to that island to DIE?? He turned his back on the whole galaxy out of self pity, as I suspected. The Luke we knew from the original trilogy would never do that! As I said in my review of The Force Awakens, this is the same dude who stubbornly and stupidly put everything on the line twice just to save the ones he cared about. And now, he just gives up because his nephew went rogue? (For whatever reason...just....SNOKE....?) WHAT?! Unbelievable. Luke became a total coward! What was the deal with the map that led to him in the last movie? They never explain that! It was just kinda there.....for no reason.....He wanted to be left alone and wither away on that island planet. Who the heck created that map and why?? He also went a little crazy. Much like Yoda back in the day, he’s this insane old hermit. I swear, he’s just Mark Hamill wearing a Jedi robe now, the way the character speaks and acts. (Not intended as a diss on Mark Hamill, he’s awesome) And apparently you can just melt away brick buildings? To be fair, the buildings are probably centuries old and he is a powerful Jedi.....(More of a “what the?” moment, really).....The way he dies at the end, while great and cinematic....I guess.....is also a missed opportunity. At first, we are led to believe he somehow went to Crait, and now is walking out to face all those walkers. They fire everything at him, and he doesn’t die! Then, after his fake duel with Kylo, (Do they ever even touch lightsabers? Man, that is a weird sentence.....) it turns out he was never there in person. It was just him.....doing....whatever THAT was. (Astral projection? Making everyone think they saw him there through the Force? I DON’T KNOW) I guess he never did reunite with Leia after all. I mean, sort of, but not really. Were those dice he gave her in memory of Han fake, then? Or can one actually manipulate physical objects while Force projecting or whatever? Honestly, the whole thing was just so confusing and unneeded. He could have actually gone there and went out in a grand way. (Perhaps via his underwater X-Wing, lifting it out like Yoda had in the past. Flying in and surprising those walkers from behind, maybe crashing down into the hanger to join them on foot) But no...he just falls over and dies because he was too exhausted.....or something....It is in his genes to tragically die for no real reason, I guess. After all, his mother died of a broken heart or whatever. I was happy they remembered the lore about disappearing when one dies, though. However, that is only for people who learned that trick of retaining your identity after death. (For those who saw The Clone Wars series) Qui-Gon taught Yoda, Yoda taught Obi-Wan. I guess they taught Luke? Who knows. By the way, milking that weird cgi creature, and drinking it on the spot, was just gross.....A bit.....much......ha.

Speaking of Yoda, he is actually in this movie, it turns out. He looks SO WEIRD. I don’t know what effects they used for him, but it is painfully obvious that it ain’t practical. He looks so different.....less like all those movie versions (Fair enough he would look different here too, I guess, since his look changes a lot) and more like the version of him from the Rebels tv series. Just....WEIRD looking. Apparently, a Force ghost can materialize and physically effect things? Because he was able to hit Luke over the head with his cane, and even send fire to rain upon the old Jedi books or whatever. (Which, by the way, I guess he has since changed his outlet on all that stuff? Being dead now and all, I’m sure he’s had time to reflect and see the true nature of the Force? I don’t know......) If Force ghosts are so powerful, why don’t they ever help out? They can only give advice, I guess? But yeah, he is also pretty solid looking, (Not as in “good,” as in literally, SOLID) and only has a subtle blue glow around him, as opposed to what Force ghosts are SUPPOSED to look like. Weird......Disappointed that we never get to see Anakin, though. Or Obi-Wan for that matter. (Well, that reason is obvious, since the actor is long gone.....but they still could have done Anakin! Since in canon now, thanks to the special editions of the originals, he appears as his young, Hayden Christensen self. I wanna see his reaction to everything that happened......) 

Rey is pretty great in this movie. Especially her whole arc with Kylo Ren. She tries to convince Luke to come back and help the Resistance. (Which I totally predicted would happen....Luke walking away, saying he can’t/doesn’t want to, and Rey walking after him, trying to convince him) Though, surprisingly enough, she never did convince him. However, there also wasn’t any training going on, really. He trained her in “step 1″ or whatever for a couple minutes, but that was IT. All of a sudden, she is now a Jedi, I guess? She is just SO good at everything without any training. We all thought they would at least explain what made her powerful in the first movie. All THAT (What she did in The Force Awakens) could be excused and explained away, I suppose, but this movie definitely hits the nail in the....coffin? (Whatever that saying is)....and makes her even more of a Mary Sue. As for the questions about her origins, like who are her parents, what is her last name, where is she originally from, etc.....KIND OF answered, but not really. Apparently she is a nobody who was sold by her parents for drinking money......Well, there goes all those theories flushed down the toilet, lol. SHE IS A NOBODY? Then why was her family ties kept so mysterious in the last movie, as if she is special? Her last name is never mentioned, (Still not....) we never see what her parents even looked like, nothing. To add to that, everyone seemed to know who she was in the last movie. “If what you say about this girl is true....bring her to me,” Snoke said. Kylo Ren, at least in the book, from what I hear, is like “It IS you.....” Han seems to have a sort of idea who she is, and the way Luke looked at her at the end made it seem like he, too, knew who she was. Wasn’t it confirmed as such, by Lucasfilm themselves, that Luke knew when he saw her, who she was? Guess they changed their mind on all of that. I mean, she can still be someone special. Perhaps Kylo lied to her? 

I mean, anything is possible at this point. Which brings me to another point....Everything that happens in this movie isn’t predictable at all. EVERYTHING you thought you knew going forward was all a lie. Not saying that is good or bad, just saying you’re in for a surprise either way. I do like THAT, at least. How unpredictable this movie is, as opposed to the last movie, where everything was PAINFULLY obvious what the result would be. As soon as you think this movie will go left, BAM, it goes right. Now that aspect I can get behind! (They even mentioned the prequels a bit, regarding how the ignorance and hypocrisy of the Jedi allowed for someone like Darth Sidius to change the fate of the galaxy. I thought they were ignoring the prequels now, but I am relieved to know they aren’t, fully)

Kylo Ren is great in this movie. He is still conflicted, and still a main character, just like Rey is, despite him being a villain. He nearly kills his mom, but decides not to, since the light still has a hold of his soul. I imagine after killing his father, he is more conflicted than ever before. He definitely has some struggle going on. The way he goes about everything, especially as far as Hux and Snoke are concerned, is just intense. He makes them his....b words....and just moves on. It’s insane! Apparently he is the supreme leader of the First Order now.....interesting. We shall see how all THAT plays out. Mother’s army vs son’s army.....Despite him never amounting to his grandfather in terms of being a total boss of a villain, he is still ahead of him in terms of rank and progression. Vader was a slave his whole life....legally one in the hands of slavers during his childhood.....then a “slave” to the Jedi’s strict ways.....and later a slave to the Sith and Empire. He was never the full on LEADER of anything, really, in the grand scheme of things. Kylo, however, is now legit LEADING the bad guy faction. How crazy is that! He just easily kills his master, and full on DESTROYS his rivalry with Hux, basically slapping him in the face and making him bow to his wishes. WHAT A TWIST! Good or bad....I don’t know quite yet. But I can say I am curious what becomes of him in this next movie.....

(By the way, that whole meme...picture....whatever....thing....of him being shirtless, and having this over sized bulgy body was REAL! I thought that was just some random, silly meme someone made. But no, that’s his actual body! WHAT THE HECK? That HAS to be fake! NO WAY! Well, I mean, I think the meme picture thing exaggerated the proportion a bit, but it’s still bulgy and weird in the movie......Wow, listen to me....going on about a man’s shirtless body. This is weird......MOVING ON!)

Kylo and Rey have this weird connection through the Force, being able to not only talk to each other, but also SEE one another in real time. (Force Skype?) That is only one of the few “new” abilities of the Force that apparently exists. (Would have been helpful earlier in the saga, eh?) Turned out, though, it was all Snoke doing that....

Speaking of the devil, SNOKE......WHAT THE FRICK, LUCASFILM? So this butthead of a villain is apparently also nobody significant. I thought he was gonna make it to the end of the trilogy, and be the ultimate bad guy to face later. The ultimate end villain of the saga. Perhaps the dark side itself personified....this....ancient entity of pure evil. NOPE! SLICE! He is dead now, in this crazy twist. As awesome as that twist is in a way, I would still like to know.....WHO THE HECK WAS HE?? Why is yet another dark side Force user leading the bad guys once again? What the HECK does this guy have to do with the extremist remnant faction that is the First Order? From my current knowledge, (That the movies never even talk about) the First Order was formed by Imperials who had fled into the unknown regions, after having been defeated by the now restored Republic, at the end of the Galactic Civil War. They had now sought revenge against the “Rebel scum,” and formed a new organization. This time, they would remove all weaknesses the Empire had, and stop at NOTHING to destroy the Jedi and Republic once and for all. Where the heck does SNOKE fit into all that?! He didn’t even need to be a character at ALL! Take him out of the equation, and the story is still pretty much the same. (I guess, apart from seducing Ben Solo to the dark side, but you could explain that otherwise) You could have had, instead of yet another pale, scarred dark sider.....(Rehashing the Emperor, much? Where did Snoke even GET all those scars and crap?) he could have been some leading general or something, who wanted Kylo Ren as an asset. (Him being from the bloodline of the mighty Vader, after all, as Snoke said) The way he dies, while an awesome twist, is just kinda lame in regard to his character. Here is this, apparently, omnipresent and unstoppable being, brought down by an object that he just kinda ignored, that was turning RIGHT NEXT TO HIM and about to ignite. He could sense EVERYTHING, but apparently not THAT? He can pretty much read peoples thoughts, and control the gravity around them, even from across the galaxy! He can sense EVERYTHING, so it seemed. Then they went all Darth Maul with his death....unbelievable. I’m sure he’ll be back in one way or another. Whether his ghost, or some contingency plan like the Emperor had, or WHATEVER. They can’t just introduce an insane character like him and NOT do something significant and major. We’ll see what happens, I suppose.....If nothing else, at LEAST explain who he was, and why he was leading the First Order to begin with. Please tell me we won’t have to pay for the “DLC” (Books, etc.) to unlock the full story of the movies......

General Hux.....he was alright in the movie. Just kind of a stereotypical “Imperial” officer guy, though, but still the Hux we knew from The Force Awakens. Really nothing much to his character other than that.....I found it hilarious how Kylo Ren just shot down their rivalry and made him lesser than in rank. Pretty funny.....

Captain Phasma SUCKS in this movie, too! She apparently survived being thrown into a trash compacter on a base that got completely destroyed a short while later, 0 explanation given. She just....kinda shows up out of nowhere, “REMEMBER ME?” and has a last stand against Finn. The fight between them was pretty epic, don’t get me wrong, but was very out of place. Then she dies just as stupidly as she was used in this trilogy. Granted, at least it was more of an honorable and epic looking death than being TOLD she was thrown somewhere.....Still, a VERY disappointing character. We never even get to see her face.....really. I mean, part of her mask is ruined and we see her eye....but never her face with her helmet removed, like the promo pictures showed. All around, just an unneeded and awful character. What a crappy villain.

The First Order in general is treated like the Empire in this movie. I guess the people who worked on this movie didn’t see The Force Awakens or get the memo about the era? Even still, I like how toward the end of the Battle of Crait, both sides seem to be rusty and toward their end. I thought they could easily both stop fighting and shake hands any second, realizing the greater good. (You know, one of THOSE cliches) Similar to how in real life back in World War I (Was it?) two sides just started singing Christmas songs, and they both stopped fighting and came together for that 1 day. That didn’t happen in the movie, however. The First Order kept trying to kill the Resistance off, but still, I got the vibe it could end right there at any moment, is what I mean....when they seize fire, and it’s Kylo Ren vs Luke having that stare down conversation. The First Order actually seemed SMALL again, in that moment, as opposed to this mighty reestablished empire the movie presented it as in the beginning. However, they are sort of more like the Separatists at times, seeing all these dang super weapons they got. The big cannons on the Dreadnaught....frigate....pizza slice ship......thing.....The crazy artillery of the Supremacy.....just to name a couple. There was also that battering ram, miniature Starkiller cannon at the Battle of Crait.....All that just reminded me of the Separatists in The Clone Wars series, ha. I guess make the Separatists this smaller, human faction, and give them the ideals and attitude of the Empire, and you get the First Order. Interesting...

So by the end of the movie, the Resistance is apparently a new rebellion now, and ALL OF THEM can fit inside the Millennium Falcon.....I don’t know HOW they are ever going to defeat the First Order, but knowing how plot armor works, I’m sure it’ll be done somehow. I almost think they won’t win in the end, and the First Order will reign supreme in the galaxy. A weird sort of dark, yet oddly hopeful, potential ending to the Skywalker saga. I don’t know how to feel about it, really. The movie broke me!

The movie ends showing these slave boys on Canto Bight, one having the Rebel ring Rose had given him. He looks up to the stars as the distant Millennium Falcon (Which apparently can sort of be seen at that distance?? Geez, I can’t even see Mars when I look up.....lol) speeds away into hyperspace. A neat ending, but a little crappy. I guess we’re just stuck with the Rebellion again......There goes our chances of EVER seeing the New Republic military in action on the big screen. But even still, oddly enough, I found myself kind of LIKING the movie by the end. I found myself being oddly okay with the choice to go back to Rebels vs Empire again. The way they went about it and appear to be heading with the last movie, I get it now. I can finally see what they are going for, and I think I can get behind it. It’s like the END all be all. The end of our rope....Everything has been pretty much destroyed, and here we are in a hopeless yet hopeful situation. Wars can definitely change things for the worse in the long run. 

I am a bit dumbfounded about the whole scenario all over again. (I know, I know, I keep mentioning it. Just bear with me!) It makes the original trilogy and all that happened prior POINTLESS. Jyn Erso and the Rogue One team sacrificing themselves, getting the plans to the Death Star....and Luke later destroying it despite all the odds.....The Rebels having a major struggle against the mighty Empire that is pushing back.....Luke going to save his friends, and putting everything on the line.......The many Bothans that died to bring the Rebels the information that would ultimately lead to a final showdown, with all the Rebels got vs the Empire.....Luke finally managing to bring his father back to the light, and with COUNTLESS losses, to destroy yet another Death Star....and finally bring an end to the Empire once and for all..........EVERYTHING was all for nothing. I mean, first of all, in the last movie, an even BIGGER Death Star comes along, so that’s pointlessness number 1. The Republic was destroyed, so there goes what the Rebels worked hard to restore, pointlessness number 2. NOW, it’s just another rebellion vs the new empire, this mighty First Order, and it’s not looking good for them.....WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT ALL? That one lady even says in this movie that the Resistance (New rebellion? WHATEVER) is fighting to restore the Republic. AGAIN??? The Rebel Alliance already did that years before! WHAT THE HECK EVEN MATTERS ANYMORE? Same goes for the new Jedi Order, and everything else.

The “rhyming.”.....It doesn’t really do that great of a job. And no, I am NOT complaining that it was “too different.” (More on that after this) As far as the middle movie of a trilogy, it didn’t really do things WELL, as far as fitting like a puzzle and poetry....crap. First of all, the title. The last 2 middle movies are 4 words long, and have something to do with the offense of the stormtrooper faction. This title is just about the last Jedi person.....Granted, if it was something like, “The First Orders Retaliation,” or something along those lines, it would definitely be a rip off of The Empire Strikes Back. So, I guess there wasn’t too many good options for the title. Now for the events in the movie. There is no space chase through an asteroid field, (There is a chase, but no asteroids, according to my memory) no place surrounded by landing platforms, (I guess Canto Bight sort of was 1 giant circle?.....) no Fett flying the Slave 1, (Or at the very least, a bounty hunter showing up to assist the bad guys. I guess, “law breaker dude?” DJ? I don’t know) etc. There IS, however, a battle in a wasteland, with walkers involved. I was afraid that the Battle of Crait was going to rehash the Battle of Hoth, but much to my surprise, it didn’t. I thought they were going to have to find a weakness in the walkers to exploit again, but nope. I am glad! As for the traditions that comes with every movie....I don’t remember anyone saying, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.....” I heard it was BB8 at the beginning? But does that really count, though? We can’t understand him! No subtitles, even! I also don’t recall hearing a Willhelm scream anywhere. Granted, I did go to the restroom once, (While Finn and Rose were running from the police on those horse things) so maybe those things happened during that time? Or perhaps I overlooked it, one ear and out the other, so to speak. Aside from the Battle of Crait and the space chase, (Not involving asteroids, I don’t think) it didn’t really rhyme with The Empire Strikes Back and Attack of the Clones. I may have to see it again. Perhaps I missed a lot of aspects. But yeah, the whole “rhyme” thing is more of a minor nitpick. Believe me, I am NOT complaining that we get something completely new and different. That was exactly what I was hoping for, after the last movie left a bad taste in my mouth. Though, I mean....does it really HAVE to be all the way left or all the way right? Either total blatant rehash or no “rhyming” at all? Can’t we just be somewhere in between, where it’s new and different, but still carries those traditions? That is all I ask. Again, not complaining. If modern Disney-fied Lucasfilm can only pull off one or the other, all the way left or right, I will choose the one that doesn’t rehash any day. So for that, at least, I breathe a sigh of relief.

By the way, just a side note; there is some curse words and a little bit of potentially crude humor in this movie. I was a bit shocked. Instead of being for kids and something in there for adults, or for both in general, it seemed more like it was for adults, with some things for kids sprinkled in. Though as far as I, myself, am concerned, I don’t care. I mean, I’m an adult for one thing, so yay for me, lol. But I never really minded that stuff. You get that sort of thing with comic book movies, as well. A lot of people still take their kids to see those superhero films, so why not this? It isn’t even as bad as I am probably making it seem, really. Just an observation I had. Do with that info what you will.

All in all, this movie sucked, yet it was alright for what it was, ultimately. I don’t know, it all felt like a dream. From the weird visuals and humor, to the outright crazy twists in the plot, this whole movie was just a WEIRD experience. I am glad they did things differently, though. However, different doesn’t always automatically mean the movie itself is good. I hate that argument that fanboys make against other fanboys. (”The haters”) “You complained it was too different, (Prequels) now you’re complaining it’s too similar. (The Force Awakens) And NOW you’re complaining it’s too different again! You guys can never be happy, can you?” WRONG! I wish this argument would just DIE already. It’s flawed, it’s way too simplistic, and makes no sense. Nobody is complaining that this movie is different. (At least, I’m not) If you even tried to pay attention and hear people out, you would know that. The complaints (At least, from me) are about the plot, the visuals, the characters, etc. I LIKE how it is different! THAT, I applaud. It was actually one of the highlights of this experience for me. I like how it didn’t rehash. But again, just because it is DIFFERENT does not automatically mean it is a GOOD movie. WAY too black and white of a view to hold. Rehashing is BAD, always, in my opinion. But different, while the very fact it is different is good, can still end up as a bad movie. Depends how it’s made, and what happens in the movie. I think this movie is just one BIG miss. SO much missed opportunities, so many plot holes, CGI overload of visuals, out of place humor, and crappy treatment of beloved characters. That’s not to say this movie was a TOTAL disappointment, however. There definitely was some enjoyable parts. The more I made myself feel like I was watching a parody and whatever happened didn’t effect my “fandom....ness,”...the more I actually found enjoyment. When the humor and weird visuals came along, I laughed AT it as opposed to with it. So, looking at it as a silly parody of a movie, or I guess, as an “outsider,” I actually enjoyed it more. Because when I care TOO MUCH and am too invested in this fictional universe, I end up hating it and saying “SCREW YOU DISNEY! YOU RUINED STAR WARS! AAHHHH.” Which is kind of true, lol, but still. We have to remember this is all fiction and does not matter in reality. It’s JUST a movie. Looking at it that way, I find myself to enjoy this new generation of Star Wars just a little more. Anyway, excuse my rambling, I probably lost you.

(By the way, “The Force Awakens.......The Last Jedi.......From Slumber?” HA, I don’t know. Just an idea)

I will give this movie, I guess......a 5/10. It failed, and it succeeded, simultaneously. All around, it is a wacky, just....WEIRD Star Wars experience. You will have to see it to decide for yourself. (If you’re reading a spoiler review without having seen it, I mean.......??) You will, for sure, leave the theater, wondering what it all means.....wondering what the heck your eyes and ears just beheld. You may question what this galaxy far, far away really is all about. At the very least, crappy or great, we have to admit that this movie sparks discussion. Some crazy good fan conversations are on the horizon, that’s for sure. There has been an awakening.....have you felt it?

#Star Wars #The Last Jedi #Episode VIII #Episode 8 #Review #Rian Johnson #Lucasfilm #Disney #2017 #2018 #Movie #Film #Star Wars Episode 8 #Star Wars: The Last Jedi #Spoilers #First Order #Resistance

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.

#o #long post #abuse mention #because no shit of course there is i'm talking about lemonhope #hhhhhhhhhhhgh #adventure time #<-- for reference #if any of this doesn't make sense like.... you've been warned. if u ask me to elaborate you'll get another 3000 word essay so