#also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things

[itspyon]

how to adapt into dtblr culture for twitter refugees

so you've decided to move here from twitter. welcome and congratulations. this post is basically a big warning that goes THIS ISN'T TWITTER, DON'T BEHAVE LIKE IT IS, LEAVE THAT AT THE DOOR

i'll be teaching you two things, how the site works, and how to adapt your behavior to tumblr ( and really, normal human being ) culture. believe me, it's not that hard and it will actually feel very productive

let's start with the basics and frequent questions

your username can be anything, don't stress about it

your picture can be anything. a lot of us don't even have dteam related stuff up on our profile

your display name doesn't have to be your name. nobody is going to see it when you post, only usernames are visible

check your settings. do it. get familiar with them. turning on and off asks, turning anon off, turning submissions off. click on your blog, go to blog settings, check things there, go to account, your muted things will be there, go to dashboard and customize that. use your settings !!!

yes, pinned posts are fairly important and they tend to be pretty extensive. name age what you post about ( a lot of people here are multifandom !), just don't overshare ( no locations no trigger lists i beg you ). they also usually have a breakdown of your tags at the end

tags

it's a whole thing. some are actually useful. some are just passive commentary

the tags you put on posts ( both when you made the post and when you're reblogging something ) are both global and hosted on your profile. it's why you'll see things like "nameofperson art" rather than just "art". using just "art" will put you in the promoted tag, in this case

you can use spaces on your tags

usually you will tag what type of post you're making ( art, text post, ask post ), and then the contents keep in mind this is how people often mute things, some people tag the current situation, people use and mute ship tags. but this is also how people find things, like the specific asks from one person to another, so "username ask" is commonly used, "irl person ( dream, dnf, etc )" is also seen a lot just watch how others tag things and copy them. nobody will get offended you took their tag formatting, most of us will appreciate properly tagged posts

you do tag when you reblog people. you use tags to comment on things. don't really use replies unless you're, saying thank you to someone or pointing out a spell mistake or asking to add an option to a poll, etc. we don't do replies, just rb your reply

quick reblog and like deets

post popularity is measured in "notes" which is the sum of replies, reblogs and likes. we don't really care much about numbers here and if you start getting crazy about it people will not like it. this is more of a talking and showing site

you can reblog without tags, feel free to

you can hide your likes. you can and should like as many things as you want. they don't alter any algorithm, since there's none. a like is a "i saw this post" notification to the poster

actually posting

people talk a lot. a fucking lot, and it's something you will have to get used to, because it's very different from twitter

there are no qrts. callouts are looked down upon. breathe. if you don't like something MUTE IT DON'T POST ABOUT IT, because no one is going to listen to any callouts. you will have to learn to live with the fact people like things you don't. this will, with time, make you feel very free

the bulk of posting here is asks, as you might notice soon. asks are fun and encouraged. just don't name drop if you're talking about drama please ?

don't be scared to send asks off anon, this is how people will find you and get to know you really. people are also more likely to reply to you

block bait anons. yes you can block anons. yes it will block every blog they make

culture time

i've said this. tumblr is unserious. drama here is approached very differently and with several less layers of panic. you will see death threats. you will see slurs ( said in non derogatory ways ). you will see jokes about serious topics. you will see people say "i didn't like this" and nobody will care

tumblr is a community of individualism. you will like your own things within the thing we share we like. you might not like dream's music, you might not find irl streams entertaining, as long as you're fucking normal about it ? nobody will care and you're free to express your opinions. people will even come ask you about it and just have a chat. we're here for the same content to some degree

tumblr is also a bunch of people who understand they like another bunch of people. that none of the streamers have stopped being human. so you might see people defend things that, maybe, you'd not have thought to defend before. maybe you're even uncomfortable seeing them defending it. this is something you will experience a lot, and you'll learn to properly deal with it as time passes

because again. no one does callouts here unless it is extremely bad. no one cares if you don't really like them. and they also accept people might and will not like them. and that is fine. and that doesn't make either person horrible. you're just different people. and you don't even have to interact

you want to make friends ? ask people things, compliment people's work, genuinely attempt to make conversation. this is not an impersonal website the way twitter is. people don't care about your opinions because they care about you, and you are more than what you don't like

the more positive and jokey and interactive you are the more people will talk to you. there's no "hitting the algorithm", there's no "engagement", it's just people talking to people. so don't be a neg posting bot, and be a person

you will learn to be less miserable. you learn to stop giving a shit and just do what makes you happy. they cannot get you here. there's no qrts. the few antis you'll find can be blocked and you'll never have to directly interact with one. don't be mean to the people in your own community, even if you disagree

again, you are more than what you don't like. learn to be what you like instead. and leave the dooming at the door

#pyon long post #if you have any questions feel free to ask #i will be happy to attach them with a reblog

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹❤️

I'd actually forgotten about this WIP until I searched the word "heart" and scrolled until I saw something I didn't immediately recognize, and now I'm slamming my hands against my computer like dammit past!me, where is the rest?!!

This is from a ficlet called Molecules, in which Dean happens upon a sensory transfer spell allows the subject to experience someone else's senses for a brief time. It doesn't quite work as planned, but nobody is complaining :D

“Alright, so...” Dean ushers him into the kitchen, flicking on the overhead lights before he gestures toward the table. “Take a seat. I won't be long.” "You're really not going to tell me what it is?" "I did tell you," Dean grins, and shoots him a deeply irritating wink before ducking back out of the room and calling back. "It's a surprise! No peeking!" Frowning, Cas sits at the table. Dusts off the grains of salt that have been spilled there and wonders what on earth Dean could possibly be planning. If it's a practical joke of some kind, like the constantly escalating prank wars he's seen the brothers get into several times over the years he's known them. Of course, it's also possible that it's a gift like the tape he still carries with him. Though that hadn't been labelled as one until many months after he'd received it. It had been shoved into his hands as he was on his way out of the bunker with a gruff, "For the road," and a complete lack of eye-contact. He’s been waiting a couple of minutes, trying and failing to guess at what Dean is up to, when he feels a wave of benevolent magic shimmer across his skin and sink into him. It tingles and hums for a moment, a heady, pleasant quiver, before fading to leave something else behind. An echo of a feeling. Nervous excitement. Anticipation. Hope. All are abruptly overshadowed by a surge of contentment and chest-aching love so overwhelmingly strong that he can’t help but suck in a startled breath and grip the edge of the table. When he looks up, he finds Dean in the doorway. Concern, then. A rush of it, shading the edges of that love but not overpowering it. “Cas? Are you okay?” “I feel... I feel strange,” he admits, and looks more closely at Dean. A barely visible thread of light is running from the center of his chest, and Cas follows it with his eyes until he sees it disappearing into his own. "Dean, what did you do?" "You kept mentioning how much you missed being able to taste food and stuff, and I... Well, I found this spell." Reaching out, Dean touches the gray brick wall to his side, and Cas feels the rough surface scrape against his own fingertips.  “I had some help modifying it to exclude vision and sound, 'cause I figured that would get confusing fast. But my sense of taste, touch, and smell? All yours for the next couple of hours.” “Taste, touch, and smell?” Castiel echoes, and Dean grins at him. Castiel feels the love again, heart-thumping hard, but this time it’s his own. “Are you certain it worked?” “Why, you seeing double? Hearing echoes?”  Concern washes over him again, and he shakes his head. “No,” he says carefully.  Dean beams. “Awesome,” he says. Castiel smiles back, and he feels another surge of love. Love. Love. Happiness so strong he thinks he might cry if he thinks about it too hard. “So,” Dean goes on after a moment, stepping down into the kitchen and heading toward the fridge. “What do you want to try first? I can't promise five stars, but I'm a pretty decent cook these days.” “Could we... do you think we could go out somewhere for coffee?” "Really?" Dean asks, and clicks his tongue. In his chest, his heart flutters. Castiel feels it. He feels it. "That's it?" Castiel glances down at Dean's mouth before meeting his eyes again. "Yes," he says with a smile that comes more easily than any that have come before. "For now."

[for this ask meme | other responses here]

#shadefalls #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #reading through this one i got to the part where i previously got stuck #(namely the sensory feedback loop when they finally kiss) #and figured out what was causing the problem #so here's hoping that'll make it easier to finish #because this is!!!! #very fluffy!!! #and i wish to complete it #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[markets]

so twitter is here now huh

welcome! twitter is hell so glad to have you guys. im doing the same thiing everyone else is doing, tumblr advice for new people under the cut, if you dont feel like reading it all the most important things are in bold (click keep reading):

- since its relevant, if a post is very long use one of those things ^ so that its more comfortable for people scrolling! its the one on the right below. theres no character limit on here so please use this when necessary lol

- reblogging stuff you like is important, especially art and writing! thats really the only way to push content on here and the like to rb ratio on mcytblr tends to be terrible so its very appreciated. if you REALLY like it you can leave nice comments in the reply section or in the tags as well! people appreciate them a lot :] if you want to rb something but dont want it appearing on your blog right now, theres a little arrow next to the post button and if you click on it, you’ll get the option to queue the post, meaning it appears on your blog later (you can adjust exactly when in the queue settings, found under the little profile icon)

- you can choose how private you want to be. ive seen so many people be like “dont say your name. dont say your age. dont make an intro post.” or “put your entire medical history in your carrd” but i feel like you can choose how you want to present yourself on here! you dont have to say anything about yourself if you want, or you can make a fun intro post/carrd with the things you like, or you can just say your name (or moniker), whether youre a minor or not, and pronouns, or anything else! its up to you, and here you dont really have to worry about getting doxxed so. obviously dont give out your address or anything but yeah :]

- ^kind of going off what i just said, if you want friends on here, you can make an intro/looking for mutuals post and put your interests in the tag section! thats how i found lots of my mutuals. honestly just use the tags in general, because its the only way to get your posts out there other than rbs and its much better than speaking into the void. dont put tags unrelated to the post itself though, people dont really like it. tumblr prioritizes the first 5 tags on a post ive heard, so be mindful of that, especially if youre an artist or writer!

- on the subject of tags, if youre going to critique a dsmp character, feel free to do so, just tag it appropriately! for example, if youre making a post that criticizes c!philza, tag it as #c!philza critical. also, please dont tag dsmp/mcyt posts as mine//craft or mine//blr (censoring it so it doesnt appear in the search), people who just want to hear about the game dont appreciate it. also, please dont tag or1gin smp (censoring again) for posts about the hybrid smp with tommy, ranboo, tubbo, etc because an active fandom already uses that tag, use osmp instead :]

- discourse isnt really common on here, but if youre going to talk about it, tag it as #discourse so that people can blacklist it. oh yeah i forgot to talk about that, you can blacklist tags in settings, which is great for triggers or anything you just dont want to see. id suggest blacklisting all forms of whatever the tag is (for example, dont just blacklist #tw gore, blacklist #gore tw, #gore cw, #cw gore, and #gore as well). lots of blogs (like mine) operate on an ask to tag basis, meaning that if you send them an ask asking to tag a specific thing, they will!

- speaking of asks, people love them! ive never met someone who doesnt like getting an ask, regardless of how random it is. if you like someones content or want to be their friend, feel free to send an ask, anonymous or not! i think this goes without saying but just in case, sending anon hate is heavily frowned upon, its kind of a pussy move as well tbh so dont do it

- other than the occasional weirdo mcytblr/dsmpblr is pretty chill, so try not to start fights in main tags for no reason lol please i dont want to have to migrate to linkedin or some shit. if you see something you dont like, the best move is to just block them and move on. literally just block anyone you dont like itll make everything so much more pleasant i promise. however if you do want to start a fight my asks are always open <3333

overall, just dont be an asshole and have fun!! here are some blogs id recommend following: 

mine lol pls give me clout, @relaxxationattack, @cyani07, @night-and-dae, @otteritos, @esclapo, @periwinklemoonlight, @minecraftsz, @timedeo, @poorlydrawndsmp, @tittybitch, @lnniter​​, @girlbossinnit,​ @trickszie​ (if youre on here we’re mutuals and/or i think you’re really cool so hiiii)

#tumblrientation #mcytblr #mcyt #dsmpblr #dsmp #dream smp #angiemarkets.txt #swearing #mcyttwt #dsmptwt

[dreamexde]

"I'll tear you limb from limb."

{Created: Nov.13th.2021.}

{Updated last: Feb.15th.2022.}

->Profile picture art credits here!

{Intro}

Roleplay blog for the dream smp character DreamXD! I am in no way attempting to impersonate the cc,nor am I dream at all.This is not a kinnie nor system blog but it is open to interaction from either! Oc friendly! Asks are welcome! This is mostly an IC lore based dreamxd!

Feel free to spam like/reblog! Only thing is,if you reblog an ask game,please either send an ask or rb from source!

Triggers will be tagged,but some of the topics on this blog will probably include but not be limited to: Violence, Religion, Manipulation , Unreality, and possessiveness. Triggers are tagged like #tw trigger . Feel free to ask for a specific trigger tag!

My dms are usually open! Feel free to dm me about plots or whatever you want ^^

Admin is an adult! But please don't put nsfw on this blog. For the safety/comfort of everyone else and myself. Jokes are fine, but anything too explicit will be deleted or blocked!

{INFO}

=Tagging System=

-> When I tag,usually it will have a short hand description of what the tag is,then a quote or phrase. Example: #[IC] it's all just a game to you

#[Asks] youll be My friend. Forever : In character ask replies! You can request to have an anon tag! They can also be personalized

#[Character] -title here- : in the same vein as above,certain characters will get character tags ! For example- #[George] best friend forever

#[Reply] I can try! You can teach me : a tag for replies! Whether it be to asks or "mini" threads

#[Thread] -title here- : these are dependent on the thread! Usually I'll fill in the space with a quote or something like a song lyric/poem. Sometimes they are reserved for descriptive threads

#[Long posts] you try and abuse my KINDESS-i SAVE you : any posts that are long pretty much? Usually these will also be tagged as #long post

#[IC] Its all just a game to you -IC posts. These posts will be in character stand alone posts! Anyone is welcome to interact with them. But asks are preferred ^-^

#[Ooc] George is gonna break EVERY TOS on twitch : ooc tag for me :) I'll try not to use it too much!

#[Art] Godly Visage - any art that I like/relates to XD in some way

#[Study] You're giving up on me? - character study tag. These will usually have short poem clips,like web weaving or song lyrics etc etc

#[Aes] you're using me. : like the above but in image form!

#[favs] We can gamble for it : this is less a favs tag and more an ic tag for just reblogging things xd "likes".

#[Queue] oh this is gonna be fun

->Feel free to dm me with any questions or comments X) I'm okay with doing private threads as well.

-> characters mentioned in art or posts will usually have tagged mentions! For example,if art of XD and George is reblogged,it will probably have #George mention in the tags. This goes for most characters!

#going to tag my tags here for organization/easy access ^-^ #info #pinned post #[asks] youll be my friend. forever. #[reply] i can try! you can teach me #[long posts] you try and abuse my kindness-i SAVE you-? #[ic] its all just a game to you #[ooc] george is gonna break EVERY TOS on TWITCH #[art] godly visage #[study] youre giving up on me? #[aes] youre using me. #[favs] we can gamble for it #[ask meme] was that good? That had to be good! That was funny-that one was funny! #[queue] oh this is gonna be fun

[menshusband]

alternatively:

“SWAG TRIUMPH. RISE OF SLAY.”

last updated: may 17th

↳ f/os lists

↳ Pëtr+ : adult + self-diagnosed auDHDer

↳ tag system (wip!) + promo

↳ @the-black-cat-nero (main) ; @dppknkd (art)

↳ important announcement

↳ sals + comship + proship

↳ ask for horny blog !

-> DNI:

→ blind motherfuckers who claim my wife Grell Sutcliff is not a beautiful woman. FUCK YOU! I have no respect for you whatsoever.

-> non self-shipping blogs; if your main isn’t about self-shipping, but you have a side one for it, just let me know in asks/chat;

-> Once-ler x Dream / Once-ler x Lorax shippers + Oncest content creators;

-> House x Wilson shippers;

-> Camilo x Alberto shippers;

-> Bruno x Héctor shippers;

-> Mei x Miriam x Priya and / or Abby shippers;

-> Doppo x Osamu shippers;

-> Luigi x Bowser shippers;

→ Alastor x Lucifer shippers;

→ loli/shota/kodo ships are on thiiiin ice. Don't expect me to interact if you have such ships in a sexual way.

[up to this point, it’s just for my own comfort. I don’t really have anything against you, I’m just setting personal boundaries. Except for the first point. Seriously, fuck off<3]

-> racists, LGBTQ+phobics, pedophiles/MAPs/however they call themselves, haters, harassers, cringe & cancel culture supporters, etc. etc.

-> BYF;

-> I don't mind aging up / down, as long as aging down doesn’t involve any sexual purposes. That makes me extremely uncomfortable.

→ I support the ‘ship and let ship’ mentality.

-> usually not comfortable sharing romantic and familial f/o’s. if we have the same f/o(s) and you want to follow, it’s all good. if we’re mutuals and sharing f/o’s, I ask you to tag your ship posts with #hide leroy, if you don’t have any tags for it. Also, please refrain from gushing under my own gush posts—it’ll just feel a bit weird and will upset me to a certain degree if I’m not in a great mood. thank you!

-> I do happen to go through phases and switch interests ! if you start following me for a certain kind of content, feel free to unfollow once I stop posting about it. however, doesn’t matter my current hyperfixation, the bond my f/o’s and I share rarely changes, although I might not talk about it as much as I used to. I just.. have phases!

-> ABOUT TAGS;

-> if something makes you uncomfortable, or you simply wouldn’t like to see it on your dashboard, please let me know the best way to tag it! to upset somebody is the last thing i want.

-> if you see a post tagged #the unsilly, I’d rather you didn’t leave any comment. if you have something to say about it, you could send an ask; I’ll reply to that as fast as I can. words of comfort are always appreciated! if you want to help solve a problem, ask first, please. :)

-> all posts except vents and gushes are okay to reblog, unless they’re tagged with #do not reblog/rb.

-> this blog includes mostly soft stuff about my f/o’s. I’ll rarely post about suggestive themes, and when I will, it’ll always be preceded by a warning and tagged with #suggestive , #cw suggestive or #tw suggestive.

-> CURRENT MAIN INTEREST(S)/HYPERFIXATION(S);

Alchemy Stars ; ATEEZ ; my OCs ; Obey Me! + Obey Me! Nightbringer

-> “KIN” LIST (I'm fictionhearted!);

Anna (frozen) ; Edgar Allan Poe (bungō stray dogs) ;

Edmund Pevensie ; Иван Никитич ;

Katai Tayama (bungō stray dogs) ; Mirabel Madrigal ;

Miriam Mendelsohn ; Red (angry birds)

-> MORE…

-> you can gush about your beloveds all you want! asks and pms are always open. this is a safe place for everyone, so feel free to always be yourself with me. judgement free zone here!

-> I’m fine with likes/reblogs spams as long as you don’t go all the way down my thousands of posts!

I think that’s all. I hope you enjoy your time here! have a good day! ♡

[ this is okay to reblog!! ]

#f/o #f/os #romantic f/o #platonic f/o #familial f/o #f/os list #self shipping #self shipping community #proship safe #proselfship #comselfship #proselfship intro

[pumpkinpaix]

Hello! and PSA

*waves* hi everyone! so uh, I’ve kind of had a bit of a surge in followers recently, and I thought I would make a bit of a PSA/intro post with a bit more targeted info than my about page.

anyways, I’m cyan! statistically speaking, you are probably here for one of the following reasons:

my fic

my meta

my gifs

my translation

all of the above

this is pretty much an mdzs blog on main these days, but I also rb a lot of other misc things because I have never been good at keeping my interests separate. it’s also my personal blog, so expect some of that? i am very all or nothing ahaha. my opinions change very quickly as I process new information, so like, something I said last week or yesterday might be different now! I’ve seen several people going through some of my older posts, and I’m just like oh dear, I said a lot of things six months ago that I no longer vibe with. /o\ please keep that in mind as you go diving in my blog!

i don’t have a BYF or DNI policy, but I reserve the right to block anyone for any reason because this is a personal blog first and foremost, and I do need to be better about setting my boundaries and curating my own online space! on that same token, you are free to follow, unfollow, block, whatever, even if we’re mutuals. <3

you’re free to come talk to me in my inbox or dms, but please be aware that there’s a very high chance I will never get back to you /o\ it isn’t personal!! I am just very mentally ill and have many difficulties with keeping up social interactions or talking to people.

in the interest of trying to be more open about myself, my brain, and what that means for me in an online/fandom space, I’m gonna do a boatload of mental health talk under the cut (or, if you’re looking at this on my blog proper or somewhere where the cut doesn’t display, it starts right after this paragraph), including mentions of self-harm/thoughts of specific self-harm etc, just so you are warned! I’ve been thinking recently that it’s good to try and take steps towards being more open about my issues, both for my own sake and others’. It’s long, because one of the fun things about my mental illness is that I am hyperverbal ahahaha (if that... wasn’t already obvious orz)

so if you’ve read pfmmpd, you can kind of get a sense of what I’m working with. a lot of how i wrote lwj was drawn directly from shit happening in my own brain, but like? dial that up from the specific issues that lwj had in that fic and apply it unilaterally across the board to almost anything you can think of.

I hesitate to describe my OCD as debilitating, but only because my specific cocktail of compulsions and anxieties and triggers push me to be hyperachieving and hyperfunctional. I consider myself pretty fortunate (?) in that regard. on paper, you could never tell how absolutely batshit my internal landscape is! which is very good for me practically in that I can hold down a job, keep scholarships, graduate with honors, have good prospects for my future, hold onto relationships (usually yikes) etc. but the fact of the matter is, I’m like. oh boy.

to give you a peek, here’s a non-exhaustive list of things that have triggered me to varying degrees of severity within the last like, week or so:

my dog

a chinese folk song

my mother reading a chinese haiku to me written by a young gay man

a chinese reader of my fic lovingly and gently giving me a history lesson on china and on mdzs while praising me

stepping on a piece of snow that didn’t collapse in the precise way i expected it to

writing meta

reading meta

ruminating on my triggers (honestly, I played myself)

seeing a twitter thread going around tumblr with decent information but the OP is someone who was exceedingly cruel to a good friend of mine

visiting my grandmother’s grave

deciding to visit my grandmother’s grave

discussing the concept of cuddling my partner whom i love and have been with for four years

self-harming (truly the height of irony, being triggered into self-harm and then getting triggered by the result of the self-harm hahahahahaha)

dropping off a package

trying to explain queer-coding to my parents

talking about stressors in my life related to covid19

having a very pleasant conversation with a person i admire

editing my translation

the fact that the “close” button on my accessibility sidebar on the translation website is the wrong color

choosing between eating all the shiitake mushrooms in my soup and purposefully giving myself a bad reaction or throwing one out and wasting food

thinking about playing a fun game with my partner and a mutual friend

my mom asking me to take a photo of some tea for her

my mom asking my opinion on a photo she was photoshopping

animal crossing

writing this fucking post HAHAHAHA

like!! it goes on!! endlessly! obviously, these triggers are not simply “bad” things. the chinese folk song and the haiku were both really beautiful and i love them! but I did spend a good amount of time curled up on my floor in the dark sobbing as i played the song on repeat. the haiku was one of the last straws that ended up with me screaming and crying and hurting myself. the snow??? like wtf the snow thing. I stepped on the snow and it felt wrong and my brain just started screaming SMASH YOUR KNEECAP. ???? (I didn’t, for the record, and I would never.) I love my partner very much! I love my friends very much, and my mother, and my grandmother etc. my triggers are infinite, unpredictable, and bizarre.

I’m saying all of this because I want to be clear that MDZS/CQL fandom specifically triggers me on a daily basis, sometimes very very badly. this is just a fact! it is no one’s fault! I have decided it is worth it for me to stay anyways. it is impossible for me to request people tag for certain things because I myself have no idea what my triggers are until I encounter them. It’s like a fun mystery boss encounter! sometimes it’s low level and i’m well-equipped to handle it. other times it’s a one-hit KO. We just don’t know! there are lots of very cool content creators in this fandom that I can’t follow because it would make my dash that much more high stakes. the original source canon material triggers me! all the events leading up to Lotus Cove massacre? I was shaking at work for three hours after consuming it for the first time.

Meta specifically is something I know a lot of people like me for, but it’s 100% the most triggering activity I participate in for this fandom. like, that suibian meta post I wrote that’s currently going around? Probably took me four or five hours of concentrated effort to write because I was compulsively panicking and rewriting and editing and panicking more and qualifying and editing and qualifying some more and then debating whether I should post it or not and then fighting with myself about my wording and then immediately regretting it and then every time someone commented on it (regardless of positive or negative!) my anxiety spiked. I started a reply to a response on that post and had to stop after a few minutes because I was already starting to trigger myself over it.

this is actually a pretty good outcome when it comes to meta! I recognized that I was hurting myself before I got any further, and I only spent like, five hours on it! it was good exposure therapy for me! the bad outcome is. well. bad, as you might imagine lmao.

I like writing meta. I like talking to people about it too! I like participating in fandom, I like writing, I like translating, I like all of these things. they’re just also really hard for me! there’s a couple meta requests sitting in my inbox right now that I want to get to, but it might take me like. a long time because of. you know! *gestures* Everything takes me a long time. that first chapter of the translation took me literally five months from beginning the project to posting a final edited version. It’s just over 1k words. D8

I try really hard to be chill and kind in public and I largely think I succeed on the kind part (I hope!). If you thought I had even an ounce of chill before this, perhaps I have disabused of that notion entirely now lmao. I’m not saying this for pity, but like? just so we all know what we’re dealing with here. I don’t want anyone to get hurt when I don’t engage with them or feel snubbed if I never reply to them. and also like, hey, if someone relates it’s like hooray, high fave, solidarity! we’re not alone in this world! or maybe this will help someone understand OCD a little better! I don’t know. I hope this post is a positive thing. BUT! I’ve spent three hours on it already, and i’m definitely starting to compulsively spiral, so instead of going back and editing it over and over, I’m just going to post it. thank you everyone for your understanding! I hope you enjoy your time on my blog! (*´▽`*)

#/ #// #/// #//// #///// #personal #psa #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #HA HA HA. #can't believe i'm using that tag on a personal post except like. of course i am #hello everyone are you ready for some cyan dlc? #well you're getting it #im anxious about this thing because i'm anxious about everything but! #we are doing exposure therapy this year!! #even if the world is burning down around us i can still try to confront my problems!!! #about

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹📱

Sorry for the delayed reply, anon! This immediately made me think of my WIP called Teachable Moments which contains a lot of texting and phone calls, and is frankly nothing but a very self indulgent porn-with-some-plot fic set sometime shortly after Advanced Thanatology (in an alternate version of canon where he came back human and asked Dean for "help" in "understanding" "how to masturbate")

This scene comes in the second of six chapters, when Dean has gone to help another hunter who needed an extra set of hands on a case in Arizona, and Cas is back at the bunker. I couldn't decide whether to include the texting section or the phone call section, so this is an extra long excerpt containing both. Enjoy this mildly nsfw snippet!

Dean has barely shut the door behind him when his cell buzzes in his pocket, and he groans as he digs it out, half-expecting to see a message from Murphy asking him another basic-ass question that he should already know the answer to. When he sees Cas' name on the screen, the tension drains right out of him. Cas: How is the hunt going? Dean: Murph is a mess but I knew that going in. Too damn hot out here though. Cas: 😔 Dean: It's fine. Motel has good AC at least. Sprung for a nicer place than usual just in case. Cas: Just in case? Shit, Dean thinks. Chews his lip while he types out his reply. He knows there's no point trying to make something up--he's too tired and overheated right now to come up with anything convincing, and Cas will just wheedle it out of him anyway. Besides the fact that he knew when he was checking in that he was going to have to say something if he wanted a repeat of last Thursday. Dean: Yeah, you said you wanted to do it again, so… Dean: Just figured I should stay somewhere where I wouldn't feel weird about going bare-ass on the sheets Cas: I see. Dean: We don’t have to though Dean: It's fine if you changed your mind Cas: I want to. Dean: Yeah? Cas: Yes. Absolutely. Cas: I was actually trying to think of the best way to ask, so you've saved me the trouble. Cas: Are you busy right now? The three messages come through in rapid succession, Cas typing faster than Dean recalls ever seeing, and if he were a lesser man he'd call Murphy right now and tell him he can dig up the bones on his own. Unfortunately, no matter how much his downstairs brain is currently demanding it, he can't bring himself to leave the guy in the lurch. Dean: Now’s no good. Meeting Murph at the cemetery in 30. Cas: Later, then? Dean: Sure. Want me to text you when I get back? Cas: Yes. I’ll be waiting. Dean’s chest feels cracked open at those words. I’ll be waiting. Cas is going to wait for him. Cool, he writes back, feeling anything but. Cas just sends the sunglasses emoji in reply. Fuck, Dean thinks, staring down at it until his screen goes dark. This is a bad idea. *** Ghost: busted, he texts Cas several hours later, letting the door to his room swing shut behind him. The cool air of the room is instantly soothing. He pulls off his dirt-stained jacket and tosses it onto the chair by the wall, and by the time he’s started toeing off his boots with a plan to hit the shower before he calls, his phone is ringing. “Cas?” “That took a lot longer than I expected,” Cas tells him, and there’s a quality to his voice that sends every drop of blood in Dean’s body directly to his dick. His voice is thinner than usual. Breathier. He sounds as though he’s been balancing on a razors edge for hours. Like he’s been waiting for Dean in only the strictest sense; waiting to come with him, but more than happy to get himself to the precipice alone. “You said you were gonna wait,” Dean breathes out. “I did. I am. I haven’t come yet.” “Fuckin’ hell, Cas. I, uh… look, I just walked in the door, I was gonna shower before we—“ “Could you—“ Cas starts, then stops. Dean hears him swallow, the click of his throat loud down the line. “Could I what?” “It— never mind, it’s probably ‘crossing a line’.” Dean’s not sure how to tell Cas that they crossed the line three shared orgasms ago. He can’t even see the line at this point. The line is in a whole other state. “Ask,” he says instead. “If it’s too much, I’ll say so.” There’s a long pause. “C’mon, cas,” he says, pitching his voice low. “If you want something, ask.” “Could you bring the phone with you?” “Into the shower?” “Into the bathroom. You could put it on speaker, and I could…” Cas lets out a stuttered breath. “I could try doing what you did, last time. Just to… to see if I like it. Telling someone what to do.” “You want to tell me what to do in the shower?” “If you’re amenable.” Dean’s throat is bone dry. “Um. Yeah. That’s… yeah, we can do that.” Cas lets out a low sound. “Thank you,” he says, and then, without skipping a beat: “Take off your clothes.”

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#anonymous #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #casturbation fic my beloved 😌 #it's so self indulgent but goddd do i adore it every time i read it #and i don't think i've written much of it before #anyway enjoy! #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹👀

Hmm... shifty eyes. Hope you don't mind it being a mildly smutty excerpt, because a snippet from my accidental-turned-invited voyeur!Cas fic feels like the most fitting for this emoji. It's a five times fic, and the working title is currently "In which Cas likes watching Dean jerk off because it’s the closest Dean ever comes to loving himself" because I can never avoid making things at least a little upsetting.

There's something mesmerizing about it. Not just the physical action, but what's within. He's well acquainted with Dean's soul by now, after all, and while he's always considered it breathtaking, it's even more stunning in this unguarded moment of pleasure. Where it usually radiates love in all directions, toward his brother and toward Bobby and even, to Castiel's endless surprise, toward him, Dean never treats himself with even a fraction of the care that he extends outward. But now… Now Dean's soul caresses itself. Holds itself. Ekes out joy through an act of true self love. His soul and his body shifting sinuously as one, glistening warm under the orange glow of the bathroom lights. Castiel gazes at him for far longer than he should, and only stops when the sudden thud and rattle of the motel room's main door startles him back to awareness. Dean squints his eyes and scrunches his face in annoyance, and when a fist pounds on the bathroom door, accompanied by Sam's voice calling out, "Hey, you gonna be in there long?", his hand falls away from its place between his legs so fast it's like he's been shocked. He thumps the back of his head against the tile with a grimace. "Just a minute!" he shouts back, and turns the water all the way around to cold, gritting his teeth as he shifts fully into the stream. His erection rapidly flags. A bad kind of tension overtakes his shoulders. The unfamiliar prickle of shame creeps up the back of Castiel's neck like a phantom touch, and he leaves without a word. Without a sound. He doesn't visit the brothers for the rest of the week.

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#deansnuggles #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit #very mild e rating on this one #i keep pasting longer and longer snippets oops #love how this meme is like ''post one sentence'' and i'm out here dropping 200+ word excerpts because i have no self control

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹 💅

Now this feels like a prime ask for the Dean & Donna bodyswap that shifts into an actual healthy friends with benefits arrangement where nobody catches feelings, and Dean vents to her about being in love with Cas while they enjoy some post coital spooning.

It's called A Body is a Body is a Body and I've been writing like a hundred words at a time for about a year. This is too long of a excerpt, but it's taking a lot of self restraint to keep from posting an even longer one tbh.

"Can I tell you something?" "Mm, shoot." "You have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially Sam. This is, uh… strictly for people who've been inside my head." Dean sees his own hand reach around in front of his face, little finger extended. "Pinky swear," Donna tells him. Huffing a laugh, Dean reaches up and hooks Donna's pinky with his own before pulling both their hands to settle against his bare stomach. Donna's stomach. His stomach. He presses his eyes shut and remembers what Cas said; that the body is just the thing that holds him. That keeps him tethered to the Earth. The hands he uses are his hands, even if they weren't before; even if they won't be in the future. He opens his eyes again and tightens his grip on Donna's hand, and she rubs her thumb over the side of his palm, soothing and soft. "So I, um… it's about Cas," he says. Swallows hard. Breathes in and out and in again. "He's kinda. He's kind of it. For me." "It, like…" "Y'know. Like. The one, or whatever." He wrinkles his nose at himself, and Donna lets out a short, surprised exhalation against the back of his neck. It shifts the long hair he's still not used to feeling against his shoulders. Tickles. "I mean, okay, that sounded stupid. Makes it sound like--" "You're in love with him?" "…or maybe it just sounds like what it is." "Does he know?" "No. I mean, I don't think so. God, I hope not." "Why would it be so bad if he knew?" He twists a little, looking at her over his shoulder. Seeing his own incredulous brow raised at him is too much, no matter what he tries to tell himself. This is still going to take some more getting used to, even after what they'd just spent the past hour doing. He turns his gaze back to the wall. "He wouldn't-- he wouldn't understand."

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#anonymous #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #fun fact i think about this bodyswap fic constantly lol #dean and donna would have an absolute blast after the initial shock wore off don't @ me #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹🌹🥸

Dot. Why have you betrayed me by using the goddamn Groucho emoji??? A betrayal of the highest order.

I have no fucking clue what I can even do with this. Something featuring a disguise? I can't think of anything with any notable costumes. I've searched my files for any mention of glasses or moustaches or masks, and I'm only getting things I've already published or things that aren't fic. I can't believe you've done this.

You're getting a random WIP, I give up 😩

This rather messy excerpt is from a canon-universe two-person love triangle fic in which Dean kind-of-accidentally started a recipe blog back around the tail end of S8, and then kept it going for years. The actual fic diverges during Tombstone after Jack kills the security guard, when Cas decides that he should take him to live in the house where he and Kelly had being staying and raise him away from hunting. This excerpt is from a flashback to 2013, when Dean initially starts the blog for hunt-related reasons.

Propping the laptop on his knees as Sam drives them back to the motel, Dean cracks his knuckles and pulls up the blog site to get started. "Okay. What should the username be?" "Does it matter?" "I guess not." Dean types in nope, and a pop-up message covers the screen. YOUR USERNAME MUST USE 7-10 CHARACTERS. "Okay, it says it has to be 7 characters." "Dude, just put anything." Dean rolls his eyes, then huffs and types anything. "Anything is taken," he says. Sam doesn't respond. Dean rolls his eyes again and types out a few other ideas, getting an irritating "this username has been taken" pop up every single time. Impala67? Taken. DeanRules? Taken. SamSucks? Taken. He snorts quietly and saves that information for later, figuring he can send Sam a link when he's not expecting it. "Ughhh," he groans. "Next hunt better just be a basic salt and burn. Actually, how about--" SaltAndBurn YOUR USERNAME MUST USE 7-10 CHARACTERS He hits backspace. Takes out the AND and re-types the rest. REGISTRATION SUCCESSFUL. "Finally,"  he says, and then-- "Shit. Typo." The username he's managed to get for himself is SaltBun. Which... whatever, it's not like he's actually planning to use the account for anything. Once he's logged in, the site forces him to answer several question in a row about his interests. Little pictures representing various topics. Cooking? Sure. Cars? Yep. Movies? An incredibly vague topic, but it'll do if it lets him complete the registration already. The landing page he finally gets directed to is pre-populated with posts the site algorithm thinks he'll like, and right there at the top is a recipe for an apple pie with cheddar cheese baked into the crust. It looks incredible. His mouth waters just looking at it. "Oh, hell yes," he says. "You find something?" Sam asks from the driver's seat, glancing over expectantly. "Oh, uh-- no, not yet." "If you're looking at porn--" "It's 9:30 in the morning and I'm in the car next to you, why in the fuck would I be looking at porn? Just gimme a minute." Pulling a face, he quickly clicks the little save for later button at the bottom of the pie post, and navigates over to Lacey's blog. Here's hoping she's said something that'll help them track down the thing that took her.

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#deathbycoldopen #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #betrayed by my own wife this is terrible #the GROUCHO emoji i cannot believe #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹

//spins an imaginary wheel of fortune wheel// okay let's go with the opening of the next-to-be-published chapter of isosceles

Within seconds of climbing into the car, the sky opens up. The rain that had followed them into Washington returns heavier than before, and as they make their way through the streets, the late afternoon traffic shifts from mildly unpleasant to excruciatingly slow as the collective windshield wipers of the city's cars work at breakneck speed to maintain visibility. Despite it only being a short distance between the zoo and the diner Dean has set his sights on for dinner, it ends up taking close to an hour for them to get there. This isn't the first time Castiel has experienced bad traffic with Dean, but it's definitely the first time that Dean hasn't seemed all that upset about it. As the Impala crawls along the crowded roads, kicking up rainwater, Dean turns up the radio and sings along. He's still noticeably self-conscious about it, but the way the corner of his mouth ticks up whenever he glances at Castiel from the corner of his eye makes it clear that he's determined not to let that stop him. For the entire drive, Castiel just soaks in the feeling of being with him. Of seeing him like this. Of being trusted with this side of him.

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#phlintscones #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #i want to throw this whole chapter at the internet already ughhhh #soooooon #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹🎸

Hmmm this one will work for the next chapter of Fortress.

Here's some young!Cas pining over Dean at Robin's party... yes, the one he told Dean something about while they were camping.

Robin's backyard is a long, narrow space that leads down to a swimming pool, with a big open fire pit in the middle, and Dean is sitting on the other side of it with her guitar in his lap, carefully adjusting the tuning pegs and playing the six strings one by one until the pitch is right. His fingers are quick and clever as they move across the fretboard. Even though he's just tuning the guitar, not even playing anything, Castiel finds himself absolutely transfixed. It's not news to him that he's attracted to Dean. It's not even news to him that he's got a particular thing for Dean's hands. But this... Dean is in his element, here. Confident. Skilled. When he catches Cas' eye across the crowd, he grinning and relaxed despite the attention of more than a dozen people being trained firmly on him--something he claims to enjoy, but more often than not seems overwhelmed and embarrassed by. "Any requests?" he calls out, and three people independently ask for some Bon Jovi song. He laughs and tells them to be gentle if he forgets the words. Castiel watches him play and aches down to his core. “Ohh,” someone says from beside him, and Castiel takes far too long to realize that it's in reference to him. When he does, he feels a cold prickle of fear shooting from his scalp to the base of his spine. “Don’t panic. I shan’t say a word.” Glancing over, he realizes that the someone is Balthazar. Castiel barely knows him--they only share one class, and since he arrived in town late last year after his family moved from somewhere in the UK, he's tended to spend all of his time hanging out with the small subset of upper-middle class kids who seem to think the public school they've been stuck in is beneath them. He's always been nice enough, especially compared to some of his friends, but he's also just... kind of a snob. And he’s currently looking at Castiel with an expression that seems to be equal parts pity and amusement. “How long?” he asks, leaning back and kicking one foot up onto the opposite knee. “Excuse me?” “How long have you been pining for the Ken Doll?”

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#anonymous #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #oh young cas you pining fool #don't you see the lanterns are for you???? #fun fact dean is playing always and mentally dedicating it to cas because i'm a fuckin sap and so is he so jot that down #even though he's not a big bon jovi fan he agrees that this song has rights #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

*throws whole bouquet at you*

So many roses!!! I'm going to interpret this as meaning you want something where flowers are mentioned, rather than a request for nine separate excerpts 😉 This is from a canon-divergent fic that kicks off at the tail end of Last Holiday just before Mrs Butters leaves, and swiftly turns into something with the working title A Charming B&B. It's basically curtainfic where the Chuck situation gets dealt with in a ridiculous way most comparable to how I dealt with the MoC in Phantom. This particular scene comes after Dean has presented Jack with a birthday cake.

It’s strange how quickly Dean got used to having someone else take care of the cleaning. The cake is mostly eaten—Jack had gone slightly overboard until Sam had put a stop to him taking a fifth slice—but the mess in the kitchen is waiting when Dean carries the leftovers to the fridge. Part of him wants to just leave it until the morning. His eyes are stinging, and his feet are aching, but the thought of having to deal with a sink-full of mixing bowls and measuring cups when he drags himself out of bed in five hours is enough to make him roll up the sleeves of his denim overshirt in defeat. The charred remains of the first cake he attempted are still stuck to the edges of a pan on the counter, and he fills it with water to soak in the sink while he starts on everything else. He’s not quite halfway done when his cell buzzes in his pocket, and he wipes his soapy hands off on a dish towel before he digs it free. It’s a little after three in the morning. The message is from Cas. I’m on my way home. I’ll have to stop for gas on the way, do you need anything? It makes Dean’s chest ache. Reminds him of his better months with Lisa; of driving home via the mini-mart to pick up bread or milk or a jar of instant coffee to tide them over in-between grocery runs. Of Lisa bringing home flowers for the kitchen table, because she saw them for sale on the side of the road on her way back from the yoga studio and thought they’d brighten the place up. His thumb hovers over Cas’ name on the screen as he tosses up between texting back and just calling. Cas has been gone almost a full month at this point, and the vast majority of their conversations since he left have been happening over text, partly out of convenience, but mostly because Dean’s been missing him so badly that he hasn’t wanted to hear his voice for fear that it would only make it worse. Those months after the last time Cas left had been hell.  Though this wasn’t the same as that—Cas had knocked on his door before leaving, had asked to borrow something to listen to in the car, to have a little variety in between replays of the tape Dean had made him—it’s still been hard. But he's coming home, now. He's coming home. Dean’s thumb makes the decision before his brain does. Cas answers on the second ring.

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#lokisflame #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #i'm really not exaggerating when i say i have an unholy number of wip fics 🙃 #i've been cursed of late with an abundance of writing energy but absolutely zero ability to focus on one thing #anyway!! this one is basically curtainfic #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹🤠

Yee and ALSO haw!!! You know, for someone who loves cowboys as much as I do, I haven't actually written a whole lot of cowboy-related fic. That said, I have been poking at a rewrite of Wanted, one of the earliest fics I posted on Ao3 way back in 2012. I've always liked the concept (Cas using Dean's cowboy obsession to clumsily seduce him) but the execution is about as hamfisted as Cas' flirting.

So here's an excerpt from the second chapter that I've been rewriting. Hopefully I'll be done with it soon--I just have to finish reworking the final chapter and then do a quick readthrough/edit, so it's just a matter of setting aside the time to work on it.

A year ago, if someone had told Dean that someday he’d be in a bad mood because he hadn’t heard from his best friend in a while, he’d have laughed in their face. For one thing, the entire concept of him having a friend at all is kind of a joke. The last few times he’s attempted to have anything approaching even the most casual friendship it’s ended in blood or tears or both. For another, he’s become so used to accepting that it’s not remotely in the cards for him that sometime in his early twenties he just stopped letting himself get attached to anyone in the first place. So the idea that he’d not only lower his defenses enough to make a friend, but that he’d also let himself become so reliant on that friend's presence that he’d actually miss them when they weren’t around? Laughable. ..and yet. It’s been almost three weeks since his impromptu spaghetti western movie night with Cas, and he hasn’t seen him since. Hasn’t heard from him, either. And yeah, Dean could pray or call and Cas would probably show up looking all windswept and frowny like he always does, but that's not the point. No, the point is that Dean knows for a fact that the guy doesn’t have anything better to do right now. His "services aren’t required in Heaven at present" after all. So he's just... gone. For no reason. Off who-knows-where doing who-knows-what while Dean worries that something has gone wrong, or that Cas just... doesn't want to hang out with him. That maybe, despite the fact that Dean has come to consider him the best friend he's ever had, Cas doesn't feel that way about him in return. That to Cas, he's still nothing more than a charge. A task. Something for him to handle. Whatever the reason, his complete lack of contact is getting on Dean’s last nerve. He’s pissed about it. (Really, he’s hurt, but admitting as much, even to himself, would open up an avenue of thought he’s not really sure he’s ready to walk along, so for now he’s gonna stick with the much more manageable anger that he’s used to.)

[for this ask meme | other responses here]

#kingandalionheart #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #also please do not go seek out the original version of this fic i cannot overstate how clunky and bad it is #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹🦔

Hedgehog!!! Hmm this one is tricky. Trying to think if I have anything with a small animal in it... OH.

Okay. It's not a hedgehog, but I briefly mention a different kind of woodland creature near the beginning of this as-yet-untitled canon divergent thing set after an alternate 15.09 where Dean doesn't find Cas in time before the portal closes, and they get trapped in Purgatory.

Dean can feel stale sweat dampening the collar of his undershirt and the backs of his knees; his skin itches with dirt and oil and dried blood of uncertain origin. In short, he feels gross. But Cas is looking at him across the campfire, and there’s… something in his eyes. Something… not new, exactly. But more overt than it’s been before. Dean’s feet carry him closer before he can ask himself what he’s planning to do when he gets there, and when he stops in front of Cas, it’s as though his brain-to-mouth filter switches off completely. “We should fuck,” he says. Just like that. Blunt enough that he even startles himself with it, and Cas just blinks at him for a moment before asking the obvious question, if not the expected one. “When?” “When we get home,” Dean says with a sniff, looking into the dense, gray woods nearby. Something skitters in the leaves, scrambles through the underbrush. Instinct tells him it’s a squirrel before he forcibly reminds himself that there are no animals here. Just monsters. Whatever it is, it’s small, and Dean focuses on listening to it retreat instead of the furious pounding in his chest, the screaming in his head that’s going completely off-the-charts hysterical with the knowledge that Cas is evidently more than fine with what he’s just suggested. “I want to shower first.” “Okay,” Cas says, though there’s something slightly uncertain in his tone, like he’s not entirely sure if Dean is in his right mind. He squints. “Is there any particular reason you’re—” “You know how long it’s been since I hooked up with anyone, Cas?” “That’s… I haven’t really been keeping track.” “It’s been a while.” “I see.” “No, that’s not— it’s not because I haven't had options. It’s… I haven’t— I haven’t wanted them. Not for a long time. Years.” "Why?" "They weren't you."

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#danger-and-diatribes #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #spoiler alert they do not end up waiting until they get back to earth #angelic grace is wildly misused as one might expect #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit

[thevioletcaptain]

🌹

I have so many WIPs that I ended up just scrolling through the folder and clicking without looking. This is from The Spaces In Between, an AU where Dean inherits his estranged father's house when John dies, and discovers that the imaginary friend he'd had when he was living there as a child isn't so imaginary after all.

It’s stinking hot the day John Winchester dies. By noon, the mercury is already edging into the low hundreds, and despite leaving the roller-door wide open, the garage is beginning to feel like a greenhouse. The ancient radio Bobby tied to the wall with some old tie-down straps fades in and out depending on where in the room Dean is standing. Right now, it’s choking out every third word of Manfred Mann’s Blinded by the Light. Dean sings along with the lyrics he knows, and makes up his own for the parts that remain lifelong mysteries. Pointedly, Bobby closes the door to the office. Dean flashes a grin in his direction and doubles down on the volume before getting back to work. He’s elbow-deep under the hood of a ’79 Buick Le Sabre, sweat drawing clean lines through the dust and grease on his face as he wrestles with a particularly stubborn bolt, when he hears the office phone ring through the wall. Bobby’s voice is muffled when he answers, but something anxious and foreign settles in Dean’s gut. It’s bad news. He knows. He just knows. He takes a step toward the office and meets Bobby’s eyes through the dusty window. Wipes his grease-stained hands on the rag he keeps in his back pocket. “Yeah, yeah, he’s right here. You take care, okay kid?” He holds out the phone as far as he can--it’s an ancient rotary attached to the wall, because as Bobby’s fond of saying, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it--and Dean takes it. The yellowed plastic receiver slips in his sweaty palm. “Hello?” “Dean, hey.” Sam’s voice sounds strained but even, and Dean breathes out. Steadies himself. Wills his racing pulse to slow. If it were about Mom, or Jody, or one of the kids, there’s no way Sam would still sound so put together. “What’s going on?” There’s a pause as Sam seems to weigh his phrasing, search for words. In the end he just says it. Flat out. Simple. “Dad died.” For a brief, startling second, Dean feels relieved. After that, he just feels sick.

[for this ask meme | other responses here]

#anonymous #cass writes things #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #askbox game 🌹 edition #will i ever finish all my wips??? i'd sure fuckin' like to!!! #i want to finish all the ones that have been partially published first though #also sam is married to jody in this because jam is my jam 😌 #one of my top tier sam ships #oh and the ''imaginary friend'' i mentioned at the start is cas if that's not obvious #he is not imaginary as dean realizes when he goes to the house #and the boy he'd been friends with is still there except now he's a grown man #and they can still see each other #much pining etc #also please feel free to rb/reply/comment in tags etc if you like the things #i desperately need the serotonin because i'm having a personally stressful week on top of all the societally horrific shit