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bfknj · 7 years

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92 tag

sav aka @love-ndletter tagged me for this (hopefully not too long ago I tend to lag SORRY)! tysm friend! I love doing these heheh ALSO GIRL I LOVE UNTOLD STORIES OF THE ER TOO YOURE LIKE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER KNOW IT SLJHFBAG YES

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (I’m tagging a bunch of mutuals but if I don’t tg you and you wanna try please do!! I love reading people’s answers, also don’t feel like you have to do it!!)

tagging: @jpghope, @taehyunguh, @taenkful, @cyphrs, @hixtae, @guktwt, @minkibread, @softjimns, @ultjmin, @yoongity, @wydkook, @ctrbl, @fwjsn, @taecheol, @5ygi, @agustdoll, @illicitblue, @sehunlo, @yoonung, @loserjongup

THE LAST:

1. Drink: green tea 2. Phone call: my neurologist to make an appointment for an MRI lmao #adulting amirite ladiesss 3. Text message: helping my roommate with immunization requirements 4. Song you listened to: The Night We Met - Lord Huron 5. Time you cried: like three days ago??? I’ve been struggling with health (thus the neurologist appt.) and I broke down the other day :(

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yes rip 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: yes it was the guy I dated twice for a total over three years my first love Im not bitter at AL L 9. Lost someone special: yes :( 10. Been depressed: yes :( 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no!!! I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family so nothing but bad connotations for me heheh

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, baby pink, mustard yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! 16. Fallen out of love: yes :/ 17. Laughed until you cried: girl everyday w my mom LOVE THAT CHICK 18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably 19. Met someone who changed you: yes!! (for the better) 20. Found out who your friends are: yes :(: 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’d say 80%?? I’ve added a bunch of people from college that I haven’t met yet so it brought it down 23. Do you have any pets: yes!! two cats and two dogs (also pet sitting two kitties rn) 24. Do you want to change your name: I used to wanna change it to Jane bc I loved Tarzan LOL not anymore though, I like holly!! but shoot I’ll change my last name hmu namjoon 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing :--) never celebrated it lmao 26. What time did you wake up: 7:50?? one of the cats woke me up bc he wanted to be pet but I usually get up at 8:15-8:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: youtube 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVING OUT !!! I love my roomies they're angels 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning when I woke up 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I guess I wish I was more tan?? I’m pretty content with everything rn :) 31. What are you listening right now: Kiwi - Harry Styles (but real talk this entire album is so good guys don't @ me I love it) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I call my period Tom does that count (Time Of the Month) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my damn health issues :-----) 34. Most visited Website: youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: EVERYWHERE MAN IM COVERED I used to be really insecure abt it when I was younger so my dad would tell me that they were called “beauty marks” so people would tell me I have moles and I would be like “ummm aCTUALL YYY I only have beauty marks so” ndsfjnks 36. Mark/s: I have a few scars on my knees, a small burn scar on the back of my hand, a dog bite on the side of my face and a huge burn mark on the inside of my left thigh bc I dropped a curling wand on it (gr9 job @ myself ik) 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a princess then a fashion designer then a architect ??? 38. Haircolor: blonde 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: kim namjoon my manS 41. What do you like about yourself: my hair and eyes :--) 42. Piercings: basic lobes and belly button 43. Bloodtype: no idea??? I think B-???? 44. Nickname: holls, holyjoons, fonz & lafonzo 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her/hers 48. Favorite TV Show: *sweats nervously* uHH???? friends, office, goblin, scarlet hearts ryeo, parks and rec 49. Tattoos: none yet but I’m getting one in a few weeks!!! IM PUMPED 50. Right or left hand: left for playing guitar/ukulele and right for everything else 51. Surgery: stomach when I was three or four?? and wisdom teeth when I was sixteen 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: GIRL I’VE PLAYED SO MANY idk if dance counts but I’m putting it in bc a WORKOUT ok in order - ballet, tap, cheerleading, gymnastics, karate, soccer, volleyball, jazz, water polo, swim, dive, hip hop (I also did/do beach and pool lifeguarding but idk if that counts???) 55. Vacation: idk if this is for all vacations or what so - hawaii, nevada, arizona, georgia, florida, colorado, norcal??? 56. Pair of trainers: nike airmax theas

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm 58. Drinking: nothing atm 59. I’m about to: idk man 61. Waiting for: my mom to get home 62. Want: to travel!! 63. Get married: idk about marriage but I definitely wanna find someone that I would be able to spend my life with 64. Career: something that allows me to live abroad bc thats been my dream for as long as I can remember

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person giving them!! hugs I guess tho 66. Lips or eyes: usually I would say eyes but I’m a sucker for some good lips 67. Shorter or taller: taller :---) 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach?? idk never thought abt it 71. Sensitive or loud: loud bc emotions make me uncomfortable Im a middle school boy ok 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk?? never thought abt it

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yeah HAH 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah :( 80. Had your heart broken: yeah :( 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yeah :((((( 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: no :/ lust at first sight yes 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss in the first date: I don't see why not 89. Angels: yes!

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: devon/doots my gIR L 91. Eye color: honey?? I know I sound extra FJBLSKDG BUT I don't wanna say hazel bc too brown 92. Favorite movie: idk??? I watched Love, Rosie recently though and it was cute

#I love long tags idk man I THINK THEYRE FUN #tags #about me

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kamal1011 · 4 years

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Accepting my diagnosis

Abt three months ago, i was floating at outpatient dept. just a normal day in OPD, my name was at labeling at K8. Finished my lunch, and continued my work. Had the feeling of something stuck at my throat. For normal ppl, they wouldn't think much. But knowing my mom had same problem, i knew this was thyroid issues. Ppl around me told me to not overthink, but its just deep down i know its my thyroid issues. No reason, i just knew.

So, i consulted this friend that i knew went through the same issue. She asked me to wait two weeks to see whether this feelings resolved or not. And i decided to wait. Told my parents abt this and their reaction was u r are just overthinking, maybe its just because of wearing mask, we also feel like that because of wearing mask, try few days without mask, the feeling will resolve, maybe its just sore throat, don't worry u eat this, eat that, pray to god, everything will disappear, you don’t know the power of god. Hmmm i do believe in god, but i pray to god that He help me to go through this with strength and courage.

The feeling in throat just became the new normal. i was getting used to it, so kinda forgotten abt this thing. Abt two weeks past. One day one of my friends said she wanna test for thyroid, and it was going to be a good chance for me to do as well, so i decided to do with her. For someone who is scared of needles and blood, its was really scary. But i felt that i had no choice since i have to make the thing in my throat disappear.

After two days, asked my friend to help me check my thyroid results. I was on leave on that day. i just woke up and msged my friend to ask the results. was getting ready to go down, i simply checked my phone, and there was a msg from my friend. Opened my WhatsApp and clicked on the image. that moment when i saw my TSH level my heart literally stopped. yup, i was scared.

Came down and told my parents abt it, as usual they blamed me for my condition. i was literally helpless. when u get to know that u are sick, but u got blamed for something which is not ur mistake. i immediately texted my cousin, MO in diff hosp. actually didnt ask her anything just showed her my results. The talk with her calmed me down. she asked me to get few blood tests and try to get referral letter to endocrine.

the next day i went to staff clinic. that's the only thing that came to my mind to do. Waited in front of the staff clinic for almost one hour. my anxiety came back. i was really nervous, till i could really feel my heart racing up.was the last person to see dr that day, and they finally called my name.

Entered the room, and the nurse scanned me, she was like" u got a fever", the she wanted to take my blood pressure and heart rate. as soon she saw my bp & hr, she alarmed the dr. very hard to make to dr believe that the results shown is not true. but ended up he asking me to take deep breaths and repeat the test a few times until my bp &hr shown in normal.

The check-up went pretty much as usual. he asked abt my symptoms and I showed him my blood test. he saw my throat and touched my neck to see the extent of swelling. he wrote me a referral letter to medical. after asking where was MOPC clinic, i walked of the room.

upon reaching there, i passed my referral letter to the staff nurse incharge. the waiting game continued. waited for another 1 hr, just for the nurse to give me one month later appt date and a few blood test forms.

informed my cousin abt this, and she was worried since she wsaid for my level of TSH need to start treatment immediately. she told me that she will get back to me soon.

later the next week, she msged me saying to meet a dr from mopc the next day itself. came back home then realized, how to meet dr without any other baseline blood test results. so brought my sis back to hosp, so she can run some test before i meet the dr.

the ride there was literally the scariest. i have night blindness, and rain literally start to pour like hell. very heavy rain. i still had to drive. was trying to go slow, but at the same time fast since my sis just got back from night shift and haven't sleep yet. at a bridge almost near my hosp, my car skided to the other lane due to the water level that start to rise up. my heart stopped. but i came back to my sense asap, and brought back my car to the right lane. and i drove back like nothing happened. i knew at that moment something bad is going to happen to me soon.

As soon we were done taking blood and my sis send the samples to lab, I drove back home. Emptied my mind although a lot of things were still there. That night I couldn’t sleep much since I was nervous. The next day, woke up, and thankfully I managed to take off for that day.

On the way to the hosp, I knew something was wrong with my car because of the incident yesterday. I thought I had punctured my tyre, so I don't dare to look at my car back when I reached so that my feelings is not disturbed. reached there pretty earlier so was hanging out with one of my friend and then went to get my results printed.

Walked to the clinic slowly, knowing something scary is waiting for me. Asked the staff nurse abt the dr that I abt to meet, but they just say he might not be coming in on that day. I was kinda helpless but no choice, I literally sat there in front of the clinic with some hope he might pass by. After abt one hour, the staff nurse finally called my name and asked me to register. I get myself registered and passed the file back to the staff nurse.

Waited back again till the dr back from ward round. And finally, the staff nurse called me and I entered the dr’s room. To be honest, he was the sweetest dr that I have met. He first made me sit, started with asking abt my symptoms, did some physical exam on my neck and he finally took a piece of paper. He explained to me abt what is hypothyroidism. At that time, actually I spaced out. I wasn’t even listening properly to what he was saying. The reason, cos I thought this was all just a dream. I was just saying yes or no for everything he asked. He asked me to read about Hashimoto also. He handed me my prescription and I went out of the room. Did my antibody blood test that day after that.

The next few days, I was playing back all the questions that the dr asked. I know I wasn’t in my right state of mind at that time but after a few day I was clearing my head and I realised actually I had more symptoms that I actually thought I had.

Days went by, and I got to know my transfer is soon. So I managed to change my appointment to one week earlier. Did my blood test and checked it. Was actually relieved that my results was much better compared to the other time.

The day of my second appointment came by. Met a dr, and I knew she wasn’t that experienced. I didn’t ask her much also since I don't think she knew much. She ordered another test as said by the earlier dr. she also asked me to continue my old dose.

One week passed, and I decide to ask my friend to check my antibody test. After abt one hour she reply with the result. Actually after looking at it, actually I my mind went blank. I wasn’t scared or sad , to be honest I had no feelings. Msged my sis to confirm my diagnosis and she confirmed it. Its autoimmune thyroiditis.

Cam back home, was thinking whether if I should inform my parents. At first I thought of not informing since I don't want to worry them. But later on, I just wanted to share since I was started to get scared myself. Yup, the conversation didn’t go as I thought it would but their reaction was expected. From starting to blame my choice of food, start to control what I should eat, asked me to not eat outside and my dad started abt yous know god can make any disease just disappear, and a lot of nonsense that made me regret my decision.

The conversation abt that stopped on that day and no one seemed to care or remember or asked me anything. Had a few close and best friends keep checking on me. Started to read more abt this, I thought reading more would make me worry less but actually made me feel worse.had this best friend who keep scolding me for overthinking, but seriously I cant stop.

Weekend came so binged watch a Korean drama so that I don't overthink. I followed my mum to tesco and I got myself some Kellog’s muesli. Came back, my dad saw it and he started. He first asked isn’t it high in sugar content? I was like, u no need to eat, I just bought so I and my sis can eat have them for breakfast. Then he said, actually for your condition u shouldn’t eat much sugar right? and the fight started. I tried my best to make them understand that food is not the cause or will make things worse. But they insist saying me always eat outside, don't eat oranges are the reason that I get autoimmune. The fight stopped when I gave up on explaining to them.

Currently just waiting for my blood test and my next appointment to clear up all my questions regarding my diagnosis.

#autoimmune hypothyroidism

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 5 years

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Lolll why do i do this to myself

Hello im finna rant abt my night in an effort to get over it. So. Theres this dude lets call him alejandro. He is mighty. Fine. And one day he decided to put his phone number on my pizza box. I didnt recognize him at the time. This was in mid september. Its december 5 rn btw. Like when he put the number on the box, i hadnt seen his face but i was like. Ehhh lemme entertain the idea. Ok so i texted him right. He was funny and we small talked. Then he kept asking to meet up, and me being the weenie i was, i was hesitant nd would make excuses. So one day he just didnt respond anymore and i was like ok its chill. Bc i thought he just wanted a fuk and im not like that lol (hypocrite). Fast forward like at least 3 weeks later. (So me and my bff here would go get pizza at this place b4 our bio tests. So the first time i went nd got the # was before our 1st bio test. This fast forward is the day b4 the second bio test). So we go in nd get our pizza and we chillin. Btw i completely forgot abt this dude. Nd i didnt even know what he looked like so i didnt expect what came nxt. So i get up to get water and this low sexy ass voice comes up behind me and says my name. And me being dressed so gross look at him and am all confused and shi. He explains who he is and then im like oh fuk he actually hot lmfao lemme actually pay more attention (Shallow ik but it be like that). So im like fuk fuk he fine. He tells me that he lost his phone and so he lost my number or whatever. He is a fuk boy so i didnt trust anything he said to me and i still dont. But he asked for my number again. And i was like sure i got nothing else to do. So we talk and end up meeting up after his shift the next week on a tuesday i think. Its like 11 at night too and we go out. I looked good tbh and he just came from work. He was "nervous" or whatever lol and i still didnt believe him bc i know his type, aka saying anything to get in ur pants. But again, i was just being entertained by him and the idea of him. Bc have i mentioned that he is hot yet? Well yeah. Reason enough to entertain haha. Ok so anywayyy. He is like "i had a few drinks to loosen up a bit bc i am nervous and u r so beautiful" and i was like lol ok ma dood is rlly tryna get somewhere. I met him with no intention of having sex. So like i was just laughing everytime he would be like that. He was like i have a dog and that hooked me in. He was like "we can go to my apartment so you can meet him" and i was like uhh ok hahahhaha just cuz i wanted to see the dog. (Yes im big dumb ik but he seemed chill and i didnt think he would take advantage of me and anyway i know how to fight and wanted to see his dog). we went to the bar he works near cuz he said he wanted more drinks and he had to give some dude something. We were sitting at the bar and all of a sudden he gets a call from someone named "lola" with heart emojis and kissy faces. So im like uhhh tf lols. I make my friend call me and i change her name in my phone to "antonio" with the same emojis. And tell her to call me in 5 min. So when his chick called him he grabbed that hoe and silenced it and put it in his pocket. I ignored it bc i didnt want him to think i was looking. Then she kept calling until he said he needed to take it and he went outside. So when he got back i got my friend to call me. When the "antonio" pulled up on my phoen i turned it around real fast and put my phone away. I didnt know if he saw it but i felt content. (Petty i know). We kept talking like normal, no mention of two names. So we finally got in his car to go see the doggo after an hourish. Side note. So he wanted to fuk me. I could tell very clearly. But i still said no. He asked to kiss me in the car and lemme tell you. This man KNOWS how to fuking kiss. Dam. He asked me and i was like ok then do it. And ugh worst choice of my life bc i literally dream of his kisses. Ok so we drove to his appt. He was tugging on me, pulling me by my jeans belt loops to his actual door step when we got there. Fuking hot af. Dam. And he was just being so sexy the entire night it took so much to be controlled. On the way to drop me off i asked him if he had a gf. And he was like no. And he asked me the same thing and i said no too. Then i said dontchu lie to me. And he was like u either. Then i wAs like im not lying. THEN HE ASKS "WHO IS ANTONIO THEN" and im laughing inside bc im like this bich rlly saw after less than a second of it pulling up on my screen. So i ask "who is lola" then we both just sit there. I couldnt say antonio was a lie bc technically i was talking to a guy named antonio we just werent official. But ok so that was the intro to that whole issue. Later when he was dropping me off...( we stayed in the appt for like 20 min btw, i saw the dog and we brought him with us and he changed bc he smelt like pizza from work) so he parked his car and basically we made out for hours in the trunk of his car. Again. Great . Kisser. And so am i hehe so it was fun. Ok so the next couple of days we hung out doing the same thing for hours and on that thursday we went out out. Aka. I got dressed up and we got drinks. He is older too so he bought me drinks and i got tipsy. He was smoking he hotboxed his car like a stupid when we were parked. The security guards showed up and asked if everything was good and they smelled the goods and i got so scared lol bc i was drunk and there were the goods on school property. But it was all ok thankfully they just asked us to move. So he moved and we didnt go to that spot again. But when he dropped me off he was lying to me. He told me he didnt have a gf but he was still doing gf things with lola. I told him i didnt care as long as he was honest. But he was lying so i got annoyed and left the car. He pulled me to come back in but i didnt let him. I went to austin that weekend so i didnt talk to him then. So i texted him bc i was in a mood and wanted to kiss him bc its addicting and we hang out that next week. Same thing. We park the car. Make out intensley in the back of his car. Get near sex but never there bc i dont trust the dude that much. THEN WEDNESDAY WHEN WE HUNG OUT. WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF. HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME NOT TO CATCH FEELINGS WHICH MADE ME MAD. SO I LEFT. By this time we had talked abt my view on relationships. He knew i didnt want one and that i just liked kissing him. Plus i knew that he had lola nd i am not in the buisness of competing for a relationship i dont even want. I just liked him for sex things, in no way did i want more. Which he knew bc everytime we hung out we would make out yeah, but also talk bout shit. He told me that lola apparently thought they were dating just cuz she assumed so but he nvr asked her out or to be gf Nd bf so he didnt consider them exclusive but he didnt want to tell her upfront bout me to spare her feelings. (Stupid logic. Ik) but imo. He digs his own grave, if he doesnt mind being in that complicated position, imma use him for his good kissing nd buying me things. :). Ok so that wednesday he said that shit to me was halloween btw. That thursday i textd him to hang bc. Well yanno. He told me he was busy but he would let me know.ME BEING A DUMB ASS WAITED FOR HIM. But to no avail. He didnt text me back and i felt like shit. So i made my friends go out with me and i drank nd danced my sadness away. Fast forward a week later. Since he didnt text me that night i was like fuck it im not texting him nd he obvi didnt text me like the lil shit he is. Then a week later i get a mf text. from LOLA. She is like. " hi im alejandros gf and incase u dont belive me here are pics, i just wanna know what u guys did" nd i was like lmfao dafuq. She sent me actual pics of them nd i was like uhhh ok sis this is so randome, i hadnt talked to him for a week by that time nd i thought i wouldnt talk to him again. I texted her back saying sorry nd tat i didnt kniw they were dating dating bc he nvr said that. Had i known they were exclusive i wouldnt have messed with him. I responded nd she blocked me? After she saud it was ok or whatever. I didnt say abything rude so idk y i got blocked but anyway. I figured she blocked me on his phone too just cuz thats what she seemed like she would do. Even tho i wasnt gunna text him lol i didnt feel comfy seeing him again anyway plus he told me he was going to europe soon anyway so i wasnt concerned with talking to him at all. Fast forward a lot more to yesterday. December 4. More than a month after i last talkedto him. I thought he was in europe. I was straight chillin. Got finals this week. I went to the coffee shop i always go to.( Which happens to b right by the pizza place but again i thouggt he was GONE GONE and didnt expect to see him ever again tbhh. He made it sound like he wouldnt come back from europe So i knew what we had was a fling which is what i had wanted. I just wanted it to last longer than 2 weeks which was why i was a lil upsetty when he hadnt answered me that thursday.) So im working with my friend carter and im talking bout our oral final then i see alejandro walk in nd talk to the coffee shops owner who i had known was his friend but alejabdro dont like coffee so i double nvr thought id see him in the coffee shop. I literally panicked bc i hate suprises like this. I literally knew he was there but didnt say shit to him. I kept working with carter and when he walked out ( since i was sitting by the door already) i looked up at my friend but didnt make eye contact with alejandro. But he saw me for sure and he slowed down a bit too but didnt say shit. I was meeting my girl squad at the coffee shop later anyway so to see what happened i suggested we all get pizza and split it before we started working. So we went in and i was nervous as fuking heck so idk why i even suggested going there. But anyway. Lemme give names to the two girls out of squad who are the most relevant for the story. We got amy (who i changed contacts name to antonio. She is my bff here) and claire who is one of my better friends too and had known abt my situation with alejandro but who has never seen him in person like any had. (Amy was with me the night he put the number on the pizza box and the other night i saw him for the first time). Ok soooooo he brought my friends our pizza when it was done but i completely ignored him and didnt make eye contact bc im a lil bich haha. And i was tryna avoid him. He literally was staring at my friends. At me. Bc i was facing away from him (thank god) and everytime id look to the side to claire to talk i saw him there just watching me. I needed to refill my water so i waited till he wasnt leaning against the wall staring until i made a run to the water machine. So i run there fill my water and all of a sudden i hear his deep sexy voice. (Fuk i had missed it lmfao). He is like "i get out at 9 can we talk i want to explain it to you. Me and lola had a big falling out and i want to talk to you abt it" i was like fuk fuk. Amy was there and amy dont like alejandro no more bc she thinks he a cheater so i was scared at what she would do to me if i went bc she is very agaisnt him now. But either way i said yes bc i wanted closure and im adumb bich. So i kinda nodded and walked back to my seat. I had drinken regular milk at the coffee shop earlier and im lactosentolerant lols and since i was already hella nervous i had an awful stomach ache so i decided to go to my room. He literally ran after me and was like "yo can we please hang today like i missed you" (lol right) and i was like yes we can whatever blah blah blah. Amy ran after me to see if i was ok and i was like ya im fine. So i met with him later. He picked me up and we went to the bar and drank some. And smoked some. Then went to his appt. I told him from the begining no sex again. And tbh i thought he stopped talking to me after halloween bc i didnt wanna have sex with him. Even tho that thursday i texted him, i was literally planning on doing it but he didnt text me back. So. Anywayyy we went to his appt he explained his fuk up. We had a freaking great time. And i literally hate it bc he knows what to do to me and its amazing. We were supposed to hang out today too but he never called me. And i would have texted him but my number is still blocked in his phone. Either he is stupid and didnt undo it on accident ( which i think is more likely bc he said he wanted to see me again and how amazing i am and blah blah blah) or maybe he just dont want me anymore lmfao. Either way. I wanted to see him today and im big upset that he is a lil shit bc i want my mf fling and to get attention in that way. So yeah. He is still a great kisser. And he leaves for europe on the 16th and my surgery is on the 18th and i cant kiss no one or have sex for a long ass time after that how so i wanna fuk around while i can yanno. Esp with him. So idk what imma do. Uhm yeah. Also he literally shows up again in my life when im just over it or when im super horny. And idk why tf this happens. It makes me so mad bc its awful timing and im just pulled right back in. At least on the 16th im saying bye forever and thats great. Ok story over if i remember more i will update. :)))))

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freshstartbetterfuture · 7 years

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Remember when I mentioned the fact that I would go insane from how much I put on my plate this semester?

Well as I was sobbing in the McDonalds drive-thru, I realized it was official. I had gone insane.

This is a good story though so let’s start from the beginning. Full disclosure: It’s a long story.

To provide some background context, I work for a construction company as a project engineer. I recently was promoted to this position at the beginning of summer and it was the greatest moment of my life because you typically need a degree to take on this position but my company saw something in me and decided to promote me a whole year before I graduated. It’s an extremely big honor especially considering that I 100% was not qualified for this job whatsoever. I was put onto my own project building a new gym for a charter school. I was outrageously excited and I couldn’t wait to start. I worked alongside a Project Manager and a Superintendent and we were a team. We worked great together and we had so much fun. The project itself turned into a complete shit show. The architect was absolutely horrible and everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. It was a nightmare for so long but my team and I pushed through and kept up with it. I was inexperienced so I definitely could have brought more to the table but I worked my ass off 50 hours a week for this project because I knew that this opportunity was huge for me and I had to prove myself.

Fast forward 4 months. I have registered for 6 classes this fall (18 units), and I am moving back up to school so I have to start working remotely. My plan is simple, work here at school M-Th from 8-1, go to class from 2-8, and on Fridays, I drive to my jobsite and work from 9-6 and then drive back to school. I had it all set. Now most people told me I was insane for having that schedule. When will I study? When will I sleep? When will I eat? When will I have a life?

I don’t listen to them because hey, I’m a fucking superhero and the haters fuel me okay.

The first week of classes begin and as I sit in class, already exhausted from working all morning, I realize that this is a bit harder than I thought. Especially considering the fact that my professors don’t post powerpoints, refuse to give make-ups exams (especially if your grandma dies because apparently they hate that. I guess it’s good timing that my grandma died last year), they record attendance, have assignments due every class, OH and did I mention that one professor bragged about how many students he made cry from his last exams? Who said senior year would be a breeze?

Back to the story.

So I make it to thursday and here I am thinking, oh my god I’m almost through the week I got this. I’m dead thursday morning at work. Like I don’t even know what is happening. I start to get these complaints from my team about some of the work I’m doing and I’m just like uhhh wtf? Ya’ll never complain like what is happening. So that of course makes me hella stressed/embarrassed/kill myself vibes. I finally get off work and go home to take a 20 min nap before I have to leave for class because like there is no way I’ll make it until 8. So i go home, fall asleep and........ I SLEEP FOR 6 HOURS. Who even does that?!? I woke up and my alarm had been going off for the whole 6 hours and It didn’t even wake me up. So I slept through my classes and immediately I’m freaking out. I missed notes that I will never get back. I was marked missing class on the first week of school, like this is horrible and I feel like I’m gonna die. So I do my best not to completely flip my shit and decide to just study hella all night to make myself feel a little bit productive.

Fast forward to the next day. I was up until 2am studying and end up oversleeping and waking up at 9 when I was supossed to be at the jobsite at 9 and it takes an hour and a half to get there. So I rush to get ready and leave. I’m rushing to work and just my luck. I fucking get pulled over. Thank Jesus that the lady cop was hella nice and only wrote me up for going 75 when I was for sures going like 90/95. Regardless, thats hella money that I gotta pay now so obviously that puts me in a hella shitty mood. I get back on the road and get chewed out by my superintendent for being late which has NEVER happened before. Like him and I both have never cared when each other got there and have been super laxed about it so when he yelled at me I got so furious and yelled back about getting a stupid ticket and that I’d be there soon which basically shut him up. So that was fun. I drive to the site and get there at 10:30. I tell my super that if theres anything major he needs from me that It has to be done now while I’m here since I have an appt to take my car in at 12 and I’ll be back after. Of course I get shit for that even though I had been telling him about this appointment for like weeks. So I wait for an hour and he hasn’t had me do anything for him so I work on my own shit and then leave. I drive to best buy to turn over my car and I get there and they tell me that all of the stuff that I bought for them to install in my car wasn’t there anymore and they couldn’t find it. So I have to wait 45 min for them to not find it only to tell me, you know what, just leave and we’ll figure something out. Meanwhile my superintendent is calling every 5 min asking what is taking so long. So I’m annoyed and angry and stressed even more. Are you catching on to the theme?

So my mom picks me up from best buy and takes me through the McDonalds drive thru before taking me back to the site. We get into the line and obviously being in the presence of my mom, I start to feel my walls come down. Then on top of it, I’m texting the guy I’m dating he says literally the sweetest stuff in the world and all of a sudden, I’m weak and I full on fall apart while my mom is asking me what I want to order.

Just imagine mid sob “Spicy McChicken Meal with a Dr Pepper”

My mom had no clue what was going on so after we get our food she pulls into a parking spot and tells me to divulge on why I just completely freaked out the McDonalds employee.

As I tell her everything from this week and this morning she begins to shake her head saying that she knew this was too much for me and how she thinks I need to step away from the project for the rest of the year.

Obviously my initial reaction is hell no. I worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to give up this opportunity just because of classes. But as she continues to explain why this is the right move, I realize that she’s probably right. I’m absolutely terrified and so unsure of what I do so I decided to meet with the project manager and discuss it with him. Oh also, the project manager is my dad. I guess thats important.

So I tell my dad everything and he 100% agrees with my mom and thinks I need to step away. The project is extremely tense right now and they need a full time devoted project engineer and I just can’t offer that anymore. He understands and thinks that it’s the best idea. We discuss all of the logistics and attempt to figure it out right as our boss (the head of our office) walks in. I’m absolutely terrified to tell him because he really put his faith in me and I felt like I was letting him down. He was 1000% so supportive I could cry and he completely understood and told me that I was making a really mature decision and putting my school first and doing what was best for the project as well. He seriously is the best.

SO. Now I only work on Fridays and over holiday breaks. The project will find a new engineer and all is well! Except that I’ll have no money but oh wells.

Anyways, thats the end of my story. I have no money and a lot more time for sleep and school so fingers crossed I make it through the semester without either becoming homeless or starving to death.

#me #work #school #personal #rant

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tlcrescuepa · 7 years

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New Post has been published on To Love a Canine Rescue

New Post has been published on https://tlcrescuepa.com/week-end-update-welcome-march/

Week-End Update: Welcome March

Hard to believe that March is already here, but the weather at least seems to be normal-ish for this time of year. We had a really nice week that included participating in “stress-free Friday” at Henderson High School in West Chester. Chico, Sugar, Walter & Wayla had a great time helping the students – and staff – unwind from a busy week and get ready for the week-end. We hope the folks at the school had a nice a time as we did.

Our senior, diabetic, pug Darla celebrated her gotcha day this week. The family was so happy to make everything official that we forgot to get her “happy tail” picture to share but hope we’ll be getting some pictures as we get updates. You may recognize some familiar faces in Jacey’s first, official, family photo since the handsome Aussie next to her is Ozzy FKA Kellen. We hear she may be changing her name to Amelia . . . or something else (we’ll know for sure when it’s “Facebook official”).

Also adopted this week were Peaches, Rocky (now Taz) & Ziva!

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Peaches

Rocky now Taz

Ziva

Jacey now Amelia

The week marked the birthday of some TLC alumni that were born in local foster: Ziva’s pups! We have some updated pictures of Ziva and a few of her precious babies, as well as Wisdom Panel results for Major FKA Woodstock

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Ziva

Colby FKA Cobalt

Tula FKA Jenny

Major FKA Woodstock

Major FKA Woodstock DNA

We have other updates too:

Dakara & Bailey FKA Dalaney

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Bailey FKA Dalaney & Dakara as puppies

Bailey FKA Dalaney

Dakara

We actually saw Dakara at last week’s meet & greet, and put her family in touch with her equally lovely litter mate, Bailey FKA Dalaney.

Jack FKA Dennis

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Close to our 2 year gotcha date here are recent pictures of Jack. Don’t let the photos fool you. He is a ball of energy. He had grown into a fast, energetic, vocal and strong-willed dog who can play fetch by himself. We love him and couldn’t imagine life without his antics.

Kirby

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Kirby and I are doing great! I kept his name. Suits him well.

Kirby is gentle, easy going, loves long walks, and has enjoyed meeting my friends and family members. I attached a picture of him with my oldest daughter, Jessi. Hard to tell who’s smiling more!

Maggie

Maggie is a wonderful dog! We love her very much. She fit right in with her new family and her new “pack”. All of the pets get along great.

I am working from home today, and here is a pic of our beautiful girl curled up by my desk and keeping me company.

Pearl

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We wanted to send some picts and an update.

Pearl is doing very well!

She will being going to obedience classes in the coming weeks. We have been doing some basic commands at home, sit, stay, and fetch. She is a fast learner.

She is a very spoiled member of the family lol.

Lexi Rose

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Thank you ! Lexi Rose is doing great! Her and our other dog, Joplin love each other! When they are in our yard and I call them to come in Lexi Rose looks at Joplin and waits until she comes in first. She also loves our one cat and they play together. Lexi Rose especially loves my husband. We just love her

Rylie FA Mary

Rylie FKA Mary

We put Rylie (Mary) into an obedience class at What A Good Dog, and she has been doing great! She is still a little skittish around strangers, but loves to cuddle with us- see picture attached! We are so happy to have her in our life! Thanks again for all you guys do!

Eddy

Things are going well overall. He is adjusting well to his new food, is house broken, and goes into his crate perfectly while we’re home.

We are going through some challenges with some separation anxiety and we’re working through them. He doesn’t like feeling like he’s alone in the apartment in his crate. (we haven’t given him free rein over the apartment yet). We’re working on curbing his anxiety by practicing him being in it for short periods of time and pretending to leave. Jeri said to give it a few days and let him adjust to the routine and the practice. If it persists we’re most likely going to enlist her help with this.

We will keep his name Eddy. He responds well to it and after really getting to know him- I can’t imagine it being anything else :D.

Callie

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So far things are going fine with Callie. She seems to be settling in nicely. I’ve spoken to Jen a few times, sent her some pics as you know. Callie’s a sweet girl. We’re keeping her name. She knows it and we like it well enough. She has a vet appt next week. We need to take our other dog Gus in for some annual shots so we got her scheduled too at the same time. I’ll send more pics and updates to Jen over the next few weeks.

Gizmo

Gizmo is doing well. Thanks for everything.

We love Gizmo and he loves us. Free kisses always.

Edwina Louise (Winnie) FKA Fancy

Fancy, now named Edwina Louise (Winnie) has settled in wonderfully!

Our lab and she play very well with her doing laps around him and him egging her on…. she loves our large yard and enjoys playing fetch with tennis balls (she even brings them back most of the time!)

She is nicely house broken and does well in her crate.

We will be taking her to our vet next week. I will probably call your trainers. She is a little stubborn at times and I want to guide her without affecting her sweet disposition

Daisy FKA Carrie

Today is my miss Daisy’s (FKA Carrie) 1 year adoptiversary! I cannot believe it is a year already. She is such a sweet, wonderful girl, and a great running partner. She has learned agility and even belongs to a club and did her first trial. And she’s learned she LOVES to play ball. She is a spoiled, loving little cuddlepup and I am so fortunate to have found her. Thank you TLC Rescue!

#adoptions #pupdates #updates

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