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a-little-bit-of-ravioli · 2 years

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Rav, please answer the following, no exceptions

3, 5 for Hues of Magic (anything about the series is fair game), 11, 17, 30, and 42, I have no regrets

holy hylia you really aren't granting me any mercy jfkdjdjf FINE.

These got way too long to not put under a read more though, so here it is.

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Hmmm. Introspection, definitely, but idk if it counts as a trope per se. I have recently been told that my very intentional efforts to always give all the boys at least one moment in the spotlight, no matter how small, are noticeable, though! So that, probably. I'm also very partial to likening a traumatic event to the present happenings.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

You chose Hues of Magic! And hmm. I guess I'm always itching to elaborate on which specific glows mean what from Hyrule's pov, where they are from, and what the distinctive qualities between different types of auras and enchantments are, because I do think about those a lot! In Something Focused I basically went on a long diatribe over how I perceive Wars' magic to work, and if asked I could probably do that for most of them! But not every oneshot is meant to become a lecture like that one, so I won't lol

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

This is unfair and you know it. I'm absolutely partial. Are you kidding? I grew up playing OoT/MM and TP -the Hero of Time might be my favourite character in all of fiction. I still play OoT on an almost weekly basis, in randomizer. And I have singlehandedly dragged people down into Warriors hell with me.

That said, like I mentioned earlier. I always, always make sure to involve the rest of the boys in the background (when it makes sense), instead of letting them fade into it. I'm really big on knowing what every present character does, so I lead by example!

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

I will cheat and put SSAU (Swapped Species AU, an AU where none of the boys are Hylian, but rather another race in accordance with their games) in here. Because while I'm not the only person enjoying it by a long shot, it was a huge team effort to create as much content for it as there is now. But I did put a ton of focus on everything around Guardian of Time!Wars and his relationship with Mask/Time and First. And I still get that giddy self-indlugant feeling whenever I think about or reread parts of it. So I'd say it counts!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

I have! It was Whistle, actually, haha. When I started to write it the style was the complete opposite of what my default was. It was an amazing exercise and influenced how my style evolved into what it is now.

If we're talking more about topical comfort zones - I definitely find it harder to write pure fluff, just because the string of narrative is different compared to angsty stories - there is no big climactic event, no comfort at the end to resolve it. But I chose to write some rather fluffy fics for LUAAP 2021, and while I couldn't resist putting in a little angst in the middle parts, I think I succeeded! And enjoyed myself, too.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

I'm gonna cheat here, because this isn't a single comment, but a theme that went through a comment section. I made up an old mage with his own shop for Something Darker, to fill a role I needed for the plot to kick off. I gave him a couple quirks, little mage things I thought were fitting, as you do with a side character, and didn't think much of it compared to the rest of the fic.

Imagine my surprise when almost every single comment latched onto this guy! People were thinking about his biases and reaction, there were interested in his backstory, someone wrote an epilogue from his perspective in a comment (yes this is a link to that). Safe to say that is gonna stay with me. It was such an amazing thing for people to take this small detail in my writing and latch onto it more than I ever could've expected!

Phew. you better know I'm gonna flood you the same next time fhdkhejdjf

#linked universe #fic writer asks #rav rambles

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guardianspirits13 · 3 years

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I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

#bnha 203 #bnha spoilers #long post #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #bnha meta #mymeta #todoroki touya

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fayeimara · 3 years

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Meant To Be || One For Every Billion

7. Definitely Pretty

Hyogo is definitely a big change of pace and scenery from Tokyo, but a welcome one. The last time you were able to visit your aunt and cousin Kazuya was over winter break and it's nice to spend some time with them during the hot summer instead. You've spent your last few days here enjoying chilled tea in tall glasses dripping with condensation and hikes through the mountainous region with Akira and Akari's excited chatter filling the space previously occupied by the gentle sounds of nature. Though you suppose they're both a force of nature in their own way, as well.

Akari, specifically, has used her considerable talent at coercion to drag you and her two brothers to the summer festival today. Although she didn't need to expend much effort convincing you in particular.

Your aunt, their mother, had already painstakingly picked out and bought yukata for each of you, each piece a match for every one of your personal tastes and styles, knowing that at least you and Akari would appreciate the event all decked out. It's not something either of you have much of an opportunity for when you're both back in America.

She also helped you two style your hair and made sure you all took enough pictures to last a lifetime of memories, reminding all of you that someday these would be the moments you look back on with fond reminiscence.

Kazu and Akira have wandered off since you all arrived, saying something about food, so you and Akari decide to investigate the booths that hold various food and souvenirs themed to the event.

The two of you are at a stall studying the various masks displayed for purchase when a group of girls several years younger than you move into the recently emptied space to your right, giggling and whispering before turning to you both.

"Sorry to bother you! We just wanted to say we love both your yukata!" One of them confidently exclaims, jade eyes beaming with excitement and a little nervousness.

You turn to her with a pleased smile, "Thank you, you and your friends look beautiful, as well."

"Do you think? Thank you! My mom helped me pick mine out!" She indicates her pretty jade and white yukata with a lazy gesture, moving slightly closer to you as Akari starts off a conversation about her friend's hair.

You have to grin at her, wondering if this is considered chaotic neutral, a term your friends often seem to apply to you. "Yeah, definitely, I think it fits you perfectly. Really sets off your eyes."

"That's my best feature! Runs in the family actually." She states with a smirk. She's really too precious.

"Rika." A low voice startles you as the speaker comes up from just behind where you're standing.

You turn to meet a stunning copy of her eyes except for the completely uninterested look in them, this pair on an expressionless guy probably about your age. Wow. He's undeniably attractive and you're sure that unbothered but capable air just adds to the appeal. At least for you.

"Rin-onii!" While mostly still exuberant, she seems a little chastised by the single word from the guy that you're assuming is her older brother.

He doesn't say anything as he studies you back with that intensely perceptive gaze before turning away to address his sister, "You shouldn't have wandered off."

Her doe eyes and innocent smile are turned on full force, you guess growing up a younger sibling really teaches one how to do that well. It doesn't actually seem to work on him though as he narrows his eyes with an arch look, cutting her off before she can even try to sweet talk him, "I was forced to come to babysit you, so don't run off again."

She pouts for a small moment before perking back up to say, "But I made a new friend! And she's so pretty, right?"

You can't help the amused smirk that pulls at your lips while you wait for his response. Try and tell me I'm not, I dare you. Pausing for a moment while he stares at his sister, you catch him as, without moving his head, his piercing eyes slide back over to you again, looking sideways and down at you as if the last thing he wants to do is acknowledge you.

Then, instead of answering his sister's question, he finally addresses you directly to ask one of his own, "And who are you?"

You want to laugh at the pure arrogance of his question but instead you shrug and reply, "Right now, I'm just a pretty, new friend. Or should I assume you don't agree?"

This time you think you almost do see the lightest blush, yeah, you directly called out the way he dodged the question to throw the ball back in his court. I can slip audacious questions just as well, pretty boy.

His sister - Rika? - jumps back into the conversation a little cautiously, probably sensing the tension but not understanding why or where from it's originating. Me neither, girl, me neither. "Rin! Don't be so mean! We approached her and her friend first, you can't just demand an introduction!" and then turning away from her actual chastisement of her older brother, she beams up at you before continuing, "I'm Suna Rikona but you can call me Rika! This is my brother Rintaro. You can call him Rin or Rin-Rin."

"Shut it, Rika. That's not appropriate." He rolls his eyes and yes, he's actually blushing now. You wonder for a moment if you could push him further by using his first name to address him but you can't bring yourself to tease a complete stranger just yet. Not this one, at least, for some reason. Oh my god, your friends would be so proud.

"Nice to meet you Rika. You too, I guess...Suna." You follow her suggestion to call her by her nickname but also accommodate her brother after a teasing pause. "My name is L/n F/n. You can call me Y/n though."

You add the last bit with a smirk aimed at Suna whose eyes narrow again on you this time. Hm. Perceptive guy. Those are always interesting.

His eyes shift to your side just as you notice Akari pulling back to rejoin the three of you, along with the three other girls that came up with Rika. You introduce her to the two you're with and then have another round of introductions with Rika's friends, periodically catching Suna watching you every time you look back his way. He's making it really difficult for you to keep your composure.

"We were going to follow the booths down the street and then find a good spot to watch the fireworks." One of Rika's friends - Misa - explains.

Rika picks up from where she leaves off, throwing her pleading puppy dog look your way this time, "Would you please join us?"

While you and Akari have enough practice using that very same look with your own older siblings, you doubt either of you have had to field it and from someone so adorable too. You catch Akari's smothered smile before she meets your eyes and shrugs so you turn to look at Suna who just raises his chin along with a bored eyebrow, like he could care less but still somehow daring you to say something. What that thing is, you don't know him well enough to tell but okay then.

Looking back at Rika who's been giving her brother a frown at seeing his challenging look thrown your way, you laugh and agree, "I don't see why not. We did come here with two others but they've pretty much disappeared by now so I'll text to let them know and then we can go."

"Wait!" Akari cuts in as you pull your phone from the small pouch hanging from your wrist, "We still have to get our masks."

"We should all get one!" Rika declares but Rin lightly flicks the back of her head.

"Didn't you only bring enough for the food."

It's not actually even a question but he must be right because she turns back to him with the pleading look, "But Rin-onii, won't you-"

"No."

Completely deadpan versus completely affectionate, you really have to hold back the laughter at their cute exchange. She continues pleading but is cut off at every one of her sentences by Suna's monosyllable of choice. Eventually, your mirth is completely full and you can't take it anymore.

So as you put away your phone, you offer, "If you pick one for me, I'll get it with yours."

You swear, she and Suna both whip around to face you so fast that you get whiplash.

They speak over each other in the next instant but you can barely make out yet another firm, "No." from Suna over Rika's happy cry, "Really?! Y/n-chan, you're not just the prettiest, you're the best!"

You ignore both Suna's response and even Akari's outraged, "The prettiest?!" and turn back to the stall, Rika bouncing to your side in an instant. She picks out kitsune masks for everyone, a mix of half face and full face for her and her friends but half masks for you and Akari. You also whisper to her to pick out one her brother will like and after a delighted smile your way, points out the final one for your purchase.

Oh my, you can just imagine his eyes through the mask, something to be seen for sure, but you doubt he'll actually put it on. Turning back while Akari exclaims over the masks with Rika and her friends, the latter kindly assisting her with angling it just right on her head, you approach Suna, who's on his phone like he couldn't be bothered.

He looks up at your approach, face finally showing surprise when he sees you holding two masks and, before he can say anything, you extend one to him with, "Rika picked it out, but I think it really suits you too."

He opens his mouth as if to speak but closes it, eyeing the mask before reaching out and taking it gently from you with a quick, "Thanks."

You watch him carelessly arrange it on his head and when you look back to his eyes you realize he was watching you in return. You quickly move to place your own mask against the side of your head, you're sure you're blushing as a small amused smile tugs at his mouth before he gestures at you.

You don't know why and he must read your confusion because he elaborates, "Here." which is not much of an elaboration but it's accompanied by him moving up towards you and then you suddenly find yourself right in front of the bottom half of his face as he reaches up to your hair.

You don't know what you would have done given a cute but strange boy suddenly invading your space the way he just did, but you don't have a chance to find out as realization hits you when you feel the mask shift and settle again, realizing he just fixed its position on your head.

The two of you don't move for a minute as Suna looks down to study you, mask and all, and you hear him say, just for your ears, "Definitely pretty."

Yeah, anyone would blush so who can judge you for it, especially when you finally see his neutrality complete break with an amused grin. It's short and he even chuckles as he backs away, but it's fully wiped off as if it never happened by the time your cousin, Rika, and the rest of the girls swarm you exclaiming over our masks and asking about theirs.

After some reassurances that everyone's masks look incredible, Rika points out, "Rin-onii, I can't believe you actually wore it?!"

He raises an eyebrow with his uncaring, "Yeah? What of it?"

"Nothing.." She trails off as she studies him, then her eyes slide over to you for a moment before zeroing back on her brother, as a sly smile grows on her face. "I guess even you care what some people think, huh?"

He gives her a deadpan stare instead of an answer and she huffs before grabbing one of her friend's and Akari's wrists and starts dragging them to the next booth, other two friends automatically following behind, as she calls over her shoulder, "Whatever! We should get through the rest of these before we run out of time to find a good spot for the fireworks!"

And so, with another look at each other, you both follow in the wake of a natural force quite possibly as powerful as Akari. Which is how you end up spending your evening getting to know the quiet and compelling Suna Rintaro.

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Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Suna's height with [age (year) - height] > 25 (2021) - 6'3, 22 (2018) - 6'2, 16/17 (2013) - 6'1... so as of his current age, 14, he's about 5'11 or 6'

A/N: Can I just say Suna has been taking the most room in my head for months now and leave it at that? I just... yeah.

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot, @hawkthekinnie, @poppi144, @oikawasbuttcheeks

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