#also look dont get mad about the Madness thing i dont even know if it'll be in the final draft

[padfootastic]

Sunday Snippet

(is that a thing? idk but i literally just wrote this for FoD and it wont be posted for a few chapters--so a couple months minimum--but i just. really wanted to share it so. enjoy)

He casually points a finger at the hideous vase behind their heads, levitating it wandlessly and wordlessly. If he was around other wix, they would’ve been amazed and perhaps, slightly awed. That it was Muggles--and this particular set at that--meant they were almost vibrating out of their skin in fear. 

Good. 

“Do you know,” he started with a pleasant smile, bringing the floating vase closer to them, enjoying the way Petunia’s mouth opened in a wordless scream. He didn't even have to Silence them. “they thought I could kill 12 people, just like that, with one word. Not one person, not even my closest friends, believed otherwise.”

Once upon a time that statement would’ve hurt, it had hurt him everytime he was conscious enough to think about it in Azkaban. But he’d made his peace with it now, had accepted that there was a part of him that was inherently repulsive, untrustworthy, broken. 

“There was a reason for why they did that. My brother--you know him, James--was murdered. They thought I lost my mind, and perhaps I did, a little bit.” 

Because James was the last--and only--person who’d never turned away from him. He’d taken all of Sirius’ ugliness, all those rough edges he’d tried so hard to hide, cutting himself and the world in the process, and kept those with himself. Sirius never had to worry about himself around James, because he knew he’d take care of him. Wouldn’t let him break. 

At least, that’s how it should have been. They should’ve grown old together, stuck at the hip until their hearts and their magic gave out. James shouldn’t have been buried in the ground at the age of twenty fucking one while Sirius still had to live without him, god, it was so unfair. 

It was--

He shouldn’t be living without James. He was nothing without James. 

It was that thought that sent a fresh wave of anger through his veins, anger he knew was very plainly visible on his face, reflecting in his eyes, because the moment he looked at the Dursleys, he could hear two distinctive whimpers at once. 

“So,” he said, voice rough like gravel, almost unrecognisable to even him. He knew his eyes would be closer to black than their usual grey, the Madness stirring within him, wanting out. “What do you think I’ll do to people, to vermin like you, who touched my godson?” 

His only response was a slow, trickling sound and a pungent smell filling the living room. 

#sirius black #good godfather sirius black #take a wild guess why hes doing this #bet you'd only need one #but!!!!! im so excited for this!!!! #sirius is grey in this ok #unapologetically #neither he nor i care about the ethics of doing magic on muggle #fuck the dursleys anyway #also bc im me i couldnt not bring in james #sirius is INCOMPLETE without him #hes literally only alive bc of harry ykno #so #yah #i really liked this #literally unedited and the last scene in my doc so far lol #but i wanted to share!!!!! #also look dont get mad about the Madness thing i dont even know if it'll be in the final draft #but i had Thoughts about it #like magic worldbuilding thoughts #and i really wanted to #it'll depend on where FoD goes #but for now it stays bc ~drama #pen's writing #fic: foundations of decay

[onlyjaeyun]

can i talk my shit for a moment?

i've been thinking about enhypen a lot, i actually do on a daily because i have a problem but that's a story for another time, and every time i think about certain types of "engenes" i get so, so mad and just as sad and frustrated because we're literally witnessing the way enha as a whole are slowly losing the recognition and attention for their talent because the focus is slowly shifting towards their visuals and their fan service.

i can't even explain why this makes me so mad and maybe i'm just a baby engene who's a little sensitive and protective but it's just so frustrating to see people praise enha for their visuals and fan service only when they're so, so much more.

don't get me wrong, PLEASE praise your fave for their visuals, they're the hardest on themselves and the kpop industry is so visual focused, it'll do wonders to their self confidence and esteem to hear how much their fans love their looks and styles and visuals.

it's the fact that at this point i barely ever see anyone praise any member for their actual talent. maybe i'm on the wrong side of the fandom but whenever the boys are done with a performance, they go viral for their visuals and not the actual effort, energy, time and attention they put into that performance.

seeing the comments being full of people who only praise one thing about the members is just so..heartbreaking considering just HOW hard they've worked to be where they are.

they have received titles during i-land and are still standing up to those and the high standards everyone has set for them, so seeing their fan service being what gets people into the fandom makes me so sad.

heeseung is a fucking ace, mans can sing, dance, produce, rap – he's literally known for his immense talent yet his biggest headlines somehow always included his visuals, especially with the whole nose implant shit. yes, his fan service is top tier but he's more than that short flirty moment and i hate seeing people praise him for it.

jungwon keeps on showing everyone what a good lsader he is, that he actually deserves his title as the hidden ace but people never ever give him credit for what matters. that guy loves his fans so, so much he spends hours on weverse to chat and respond and always updates us on what's going on. he's so csring and sweet and yet ever since he's become an adult its yet again, just about his looks.

i don't even wanna talk about sunoo because his situation makes me SO mad in a way i can't explain at all. that fucker is so fucking talented and so gifted, he's literally worked his ass off all these years just for people to go around and go omg he's so pretty!!! and that's it. he's not just your little mlm projection since most engenes love to label him as such, he's so much more and deserves to be treated like the talented idol he is.

sunghoon is also of that category because tell me why people have made his visuals hs only personality when he literally was told he was born to be on stage. every single performance, every single song, every single tour night he gives his everything because he knows he's good but he wants to show the world that he's more than a pretty face. i wish people would just see his talent and dedication for once instead of his eyebrows.

jay is also a topic i dont even wanna talk about anymore because the treatment he's been receiving all these years from his own "FANS" is so embarrassing and heartbreaking. i have never, ever watched a performance where that fucker didn't give 150% of his energy and power, his dedication is so impressive and something to admire. he's not just your fashion icon with a pretty face and a sharp jawline, i might upset some of y'all, but he's just as much of an ace as heeseung to me and i wish people saw that.

riki literally left his home country when he was a child and was called the dance prodigy, became a member in the official line up at the age of 14 and yet people will literally do nothing but praise his visuals. that fucker came okt of his mama dancing and people dare to argue whether or not he's as good as engenes make him to be what the FUCK? ppl need to stop focusing on his face and actually look at him as a whole when they watch him bc how could we ever argue about his talent???

jake had a dream and an opportunity and that fucker took. it. he literally only trained for six months and now his dance challenges with other idols are some of the most viewed ones on social media. he's a pretty face and the biggest flirt ever, he loves his dans and doesnt hesitate to show it but i wish people would actually see how hard he works and how far he's come. he was never bad but he's literally at such a high level right now when it comes to his skills and stage performances, i feel like people just love to ignore that aspect of him bc of his intense fan service.

i can't believe i spent 10 minutes writing this but its been on my mind for so long and i really hope we as engenes can actually sit our asses the fuck down and start showing those boys and their talent the love and appreciation they deserve. they are a group of visuals, yes. no doubt. but they were also chosen to be in this group bc of their talent and their skills.

#enhypen #enha #heeseung #jake sim #sunghoon #park jongseong #sunoo #ni-ki #jungwon

[lucy4-ever]

nsfw headcanons about bill kaulitz

!all NSFW!

first i'd like to say that, because he has a twin brother so comfortable with the topic, we think bill's the innocent brother

WRONG

pretty sure he's as hrny as tom is

maybe a bit less

but i think he'd rather have long, loving, caring sx (unlike tom)

plus, we know he's not really into hookups

(i dont remember who wrote it, but it wasnt my own idea!) that he feels guilty to just have sx for 1 night and forget it all

so he's really invested in aftercare and communicating during the act (green flag)

he praises all the time

he's definetly a soft dom and a sub

when he's drunk or high, he slightly changes though

but no matter the situation, he always asks if it's okay

he wouldnt accept to have sxual intercourses with you if he's sober and you're drunk/ high, it'll feel like he's taking advantage of you

however if you're being flirty, touchy and everything, he might just drink a bit so it wouldnt feel too weird (knowing you gave your consent a 1000 times and that you just want him, and that you trust him and that youre horny)

when he's not convinced by your actual desire to fck, he doesn't accept and just takes care of you 😊

however, when the both of you are drunk/ high, it's another level of pleasure

DRUNK/ HIGH SX WITH BILL 🔛🔝

"just like that, yeah, baby"

"do i slow down, my liebe?"

"please, stop teasing me my love"

"youre so pretty, my beloved"

"are you alright my love?"

"keep doing this, yeah, youre making me feel so good sweetheart"

"my sweet girl, my sweet sweet girl, youre being so nice to me"

"are you sure, you're okay?"

"my darling, you feel so good, youre gonna make me cm so fast"

"does this feels good? let me know how you feel, my dirty girl"

"yeah, take it all in for me, my lovely dirty little slut"

"is this too rough?"

"fuck me very well, baby, the same way i'd fck you sweet thing"

"i think im cmming my dear, can i? can i my love?"

"is this okay?"

if he wants to try something new, something which he'd never done with you and that's completly different from usual, he'll ask and make sure you dont just wanna please him

if you agree, he may be rougher and degrading you

but he'd never do it by himself, without asking you first

i think it depends on what do YOU want, he's really listening to your desires and compromises with his own

yet, he always prioritize your pleasure to his

now, let's get more concreet

there will never be a sxual intercourse without you having an orgsm

it's fundammentaly impossible with bill

even on his birthday when he's supposed to be the one to receive all the pleasure , he'll ask to go down on you

that's just the way it is

hates and loves being edged

however, if you edge him too much, when he'll be fcking you, he won't go easy on you

he edges you too, by kissing and sucking everywhere on your body but your pssy

he's open for every kind of sx

you can ask him about anything and he'll probably say yes to make you happy

AS LONG AS IT'S NOT DISTURBING THINGS

but i believe y'all arent mad enough :D

loves you being on top

loves sitting position

loves position where he sees your face and can kiss you

loves when you want to be the giver

secretly loves when you act bratty with him

but also loves when you're being a pleaser

chest turn him on so badly 🗣

(not in a weird way) but always stares at your chest and loves when you dress in tight clothes

randomly stares at you and you're wondering what he's thinking about when the only thing on his mind is what happened last night, how good you looked and how you're gonna look this night

has a sx playlist with "apocalypse" by Cigarettes After Sx and "do you wanna fuck" by Byz on it

MOANS, WHIMPERS, CRIES

he doesnt give a flying fuck about belly fat, love handles, thick thighs and arms as well as small chest, thin bodies, "weird looking" pssies, body hair and couldnt care less honestly

he loves people for who they are, not for their genders, looks, body, money, belongings..

i secretly think he has a thing for bigger girlies 😉

he lives for thick ladies 😽

author's note : tadaaa!! i'll probably make a part 2 and one for tom, please can you guys give me ideas on what you'd like me to write please 😫

love yaaaa!! 💕

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz headcanons #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz bf material #headcanon #smut

[sixx6secs2love]

Hi I was wondering if you make GNR fics and if you do can you pls make one of Izzy being mean to his girl or something and if you don’t write gnr fics can you do Vince or Nikki being mean to his girl thank you!!

HII I DONT WRITE FOR GNR BUT MAYBE IF I FEEL LIKE GETTING DISGUSTINGLY EDUCATED ON THEM THEN MAYBE. ALSO I THINK YOU MEAN LIKE NIKKI OR SOMETHING BEING MEAN TO HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND AND NOT IZZYS? IM PRETTY SURE

word count: 678

warnings: manipulation, drugs, alcohol, nikki being an ass

ok so just to start things off I don't really know whats going on with like mick and something about nikki sueing him or something and it kinda sucks. but if Nikki would do that to his “brother” now then imagine what Nikki would do to his girlfriend back then.

don't get me wrong, he loves you to death and he shows it, but there's a lot of reasons as to why he would be so toxic or mean.(drugs, alcohol, pressure, and i'm sure in a relationship like this the lack of love he got as a child would probably come into play.)

He does love you though. Sometimes he can just be an asshole. but not so much physically if he's being mean just to be mean but more emotionally if that makes sense.

There can be a number of reasons why Nikki could be mean to you. It could be from drug-induced behavior, especially if he's feeling aggressive or paranoid from being high.

It could also be if he's feeling insecure or threatened in some way, and his default response is to become defensive and lash out. Another possibility is that he's simply being a dick, and he's not thinking deeply about his behavior, but rather just reacting negatively.

he would probably be really passive-aggressive like the silent treatment or just act cold and ignore you. He would also make mean comments, either outright or in a snide or sarcastic way and harsh with his words and demeanor, saying hurtful things to you in order to hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself.

He's the type to go for sensitive points and use them as a weapon, knowing that it'll hurt you even if the criticism may be accurate or true, but if you do it to him hes shutting it down immediately, like getting in your face telling you to shut up or knock it off.

now if you were like in front of people like the band or something, he wouldn't wanna embarrass you or him, and he doesn't wanna hear shit from the guys or get looks from people if he were mean to you, so the most he would do in public is like get real close to you and tell you to leave him alone then walk away.

but if he were just mad or being a dick he'd still act like a boyfriend I guess, but wouldn't talk much. but while he's in this pissy mood he wouldn't try and solve it or apologize.

maybe he would after he got something good out of it but most likely not. maybe he'd disappear for a while then come back with his stupid smile like nothing really happened.

I'm telling you this man is a manipulator and gaslighter! there's no way he's not.

Nikki can manipulate in several ways. He might use emotional manipulation to play on your feelings and make you doubt yourself or your own thoughts and opinions.

He could use intellectual manipulation, where he uses reason and logic to get you to agree with him. He could gaslight you, where he alters reality and convinces you that your own memory of an event is wrong. He could even use guilt or fear to get you to do what he wants.

Overall, he uses his intelligence, charisma, and your feelings towards him to manipulate you to get what he wants.

If Nikki ended up making you cry, he would probably feel guilty and try to make amends after he came down from his aggressive or mean behavior.

He might apologize and try to make things better between you two, it depends on how far he took things, but he would likely feel regretful for making you cry and wouldn't want to see you upset. he'd probably say things like “I didnt mean it like that” in a slight pissy tone but hugging you at the same time.

but he doesn't ever really wanna make you cry. it doesn't bring him pleasure and he always ends up feeling guilty.

#motley crue #motley crue x reader #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x you #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue headcanons

[writingsfor-u]

Did you even care? ooc T.M.R x Fem!reader.

-summary - it was him who ended it with you but he cant get enough?Will he be able to mend the mess he made?Or is there no end to this?

-genre - angst

Warnings: No warnings (abit of harsh language but It'll be fine)

A/n : I had fun writing this and finally finished it after months of writers block 😮‍💨

(edited: I read this again , and I realised how corny this fic is 😭 edited some parts..maybe a whole lot , but hey atleast its not that corny..also proofread , and realised how many grammar mistakes and spelling errors there were) guys I do not know how much I edited this. I hated the way I wrote it. Changed some of the words and vibes. Proofread again because the last time was still bad. #helpme😔

proofread and edited- /Gif isn't mine/

_________________________________

you were having a heated argument with Tom again for the third time this week.

All the arguments for the past days have been on petty and stupid reasons.

One was because you forgot his prefect badge that he had asked you to bring to him when it was breakfast.

you were half asleep that time, so of course you had forgotten.

The second was because of a petty argument over some book.

and now this? because you had stayed in his room to wait for him?

Your Pov :

This is getting out of hand , why was he this mad? you already told him you were gonna be up here.

"get out y/n" Tom frustratedly ran his hand through his hair.

"what? I just dont understand, I already asked you if I could stay here so why are you so ma-"

"Get out of here y/n. Before I call salazar himself to escort you out." tom raised his voice with a cold tone.. narrowing his eyes in annoyance.

"fine." you say rolling your eyes at how childish he is being. Before leaving he tugged at the side of your robe.

"and to just inform you, whatever we have going on is done."

you stopped. Turning around to face him.

"what?"

"yes. you were simply just an experiment" he looked at you with a dead expression with his voice becoming flat.

you looked at him, tilting your head to the side, slightly confused.

"Have you ever cared?" you managed to say with a confused yet anguished look spread across your face.

"not one bit" he smugly smirked, his indifferent and apathetic behaviour did nothing but disappoint you further.

"i was seeing how people would react to what some call 'affection' and seeing how easy you get manipulated and how you obeyed me so much has made me realise love makes people weak and i dont have the time to feel weak"

you stared at him with a disgusted look, more disappointed than heartbroken. It felt like an insult that he managed to make you feel this way.

"Oh? really?..Well I hope you find peace in this.. honestly, Im not even surprised..just disappointed.. "

you said, clenching your jaw slightly..leaving the room.

Why have I trusted him? Knowing how he was, how he always has been. Have I been that naive to think that he could ever feel any other emotions other than hatred and anger?

_____________________________

Tom riddle's Pov:

I have now gotten rid of the pesky girl and now my life shall be at peace, finally. She can't even do simple tasks without messing up. What have I got to lose. She's nothing but a toy, a pawn.

She was useful then. I didn't need her to be a pest over my projects now.

______________________________☕

He hadn't even realized he fell asleep..he was just getting up from bed and had started getting ready for the day.

"hey y/n have you seen my tie?"

Silence

"y/n?"

his head suddenly rings and reminds him that he had been done with you..

a small o escaped his lips before he brushed it off.

How stupid of him to not remember such simple things..It was crazy to even think about it..really

____________________________☕

He sat at his usual spot with his so-called friends. but he felt a bit off..is that what to call it? perhaps not..

His eyebrows furrowed but brushed it off again, as usual.

"hmm..Riddle?"

Abraxas started, the look on his face completely spitting confusion..

"Where's your girlfriend?, is she sick? or unwell?"

What? why was Malfoy out of all people be worried about you? he has no right to be worried about you.

"for your information Malfoy, we are not together and never was"

Lestrange looked at him with an amused gaze, surprised that his friend would even have said that. He was clearly skeptical of his friends words.

"What do you mean by 'not together' Tom?"

He rolled his eyes, annoyed at how reluctant they were being in this foolish situation.

"She was just an experiment and was just a distraction to me, so i ended it. She was a good investment. And now I believe she has no use for me anymore."

"She? you mean..." Lestrange started, with a raised concerned eyebrow. "Y/n Y/l/n.. was nothing but an experiment?.."

"Yes. how many times do I have to repeat myself to you imbeciles?"

The two shared a look and their eyes turned to the lad once again.

"Riddle. Are you sure?" Avery said in a confused yet assertive tone.

"This may sound a bit.." He paused, letting the silence take over.

"Mushy and Lovey is what he meant. That's not the point here..We've seen the way you talk to her...moreover talk about her with us.."

Abraxas continued, now an apple in his hand..

"It's the way she has turned you soft , Riddle..no offense in any way shape or form."

He glared at them, not wanting to hear any of their nonsense that they were spitting out of their mouths. They knew nothing about you two.

"I'm not soft."

He started, his voice cracking making him cough.

"Sure.. believe what you want to believe mate."

______________________________☕

He was walking in the field after class to get his mind clear. When he saw a dandelion, he remembered how much you loved the flower. It was her favorite, he knew. Without even thinking, he plucked it out..planning to give it to her later in the day.

Some time later..He was heading back to his dorm, passing the common room. The flower still in his hand between his fingers.

"Did you get another girlfriend?" Avery asked, with a raised eyebrow.. teasing him?

"No? I was planning on giving it to-" He stopped himself. Pausing for a moment. Abraxad snorted, trying to keep in his laugh.

"See? smitten "

"Shove off Malfoy."

____________

a few weeks later

Wasn't this what he wanted?

peace and quiet? No one to worry about. No one to think about. No burden he had to keep.

he jumped on his bed and searched for warmth but there wasnt any..

he was confused..more irritated, his temper shortened..even if that was possible. And he didnt know why. He hasn't felt this way for months now, and it has now turned up again..somehow.

___________________________☕

It has been quite awhile since he had let go of her..

and now he's seeing her with someone else..does he really have the right to feel like this? no. Does he care? definitely.

Whenever he sees her with that boy..he couldn't help but feel a longing and pining emotion..he doesn't even know where he learnt to feel like this.

He somehow wonders how she's feeling..does she think about me alot? has she taken care of herself lately? Does she also feel this way?..

At some days..he sees y/n walking around the castle..smiling and laughing with her friends..oh how I missed her laugh , her voice..

"Tom are you sure you're okay? your studies have dropped and you seem to be declining"

His daze was interrupted by the voice of his friend. He met their gazes with a flat expression.

"What do you want?"

"We're just asking about you."

He furrowed his brows, confusion laid in his eyes.

"If it's about her. You should see and talk to her."

Avery said in an almost stern way before sighing.

They stayed silent for a minute.

"Why?"

"Why what? Riddle? look at yourself..god, what has happened to you?"

Abraxas said almost laughing at his friend's obliviousness.

"Go talk to her. Maybe not now but there has to be closure to this.. whatever crisis you're in."

_____________________________☕

He was now in his bed at three in the morning. It was now a habit for him to think about the 'what ifs' about you two.

he asked himself every day,

was it worth it?

is it worth it?

what can he do to fix this?

what if he never ended things with you? Were you ever heartbroken by this? What if he had just communicated with you? What if he never lashed out on you? What if he just wasn't a child made out of fake and unrequited love?

Can he ever know?

____________________________☕

morning has come and he was trying, yes trying to find a good way to talk to you or just have a small interaction with you.

and he is now again with his friends in his room pacing.

"what are you doing Riddle?" abraxas asked. Clearly annoyed at how Tom had woken them up at dawn, hours before classes started.

"He's obviously going through a mental breakdown internally."

He rolled his eyes at avery's joke yet not really taking it into heart.

"It would rather be kind of you to stop saying such idiocy to me."

"Just, go talk to her"

no

"pardon?"

"Talk to her"

"How?"

Silence

"You're really asking me that?"

_____________________________☕

your pov🤗:

something hit your shoulder or someone and they dropped something.

oh!

It's a journal.

"hey um you dropped this" not looking at the person who dropped it.

and when you met his eyes, annoyance grew in the pit of your stomach.

oh. it was him, as you tried telling yourself that you didn't care and just act as if nothing has happened between the two of you.

"oh, hello Riddle, fancy seeing you here." you looked at him with a small polite smile. You didn't want to come off as rude, despite what has happened in the past month.

"hello. Thank you for this book, i- uh"

"Well if that is all, I better get going now" you say trying to avoid him and his words.

"wait y/- , y/l/n could we maybe talk?"

this is what you've been avoiding but of course fate had to be like this. With reluctance and hesitation you agreed.

"Sure, be quick. I don't have all the time in my hands."

"Of course, I suggest somewhere more private?"

You nodded with pursed lips, crossing your arms as you followed him to the come and go room or the room of requirements as you liked to call it.

as soon as you get there, a door appears and he holds the door for you.

once you stepped inside the room, you were in awe, the room was beautiful but that was besides the point.

"so?"

"y/n i wanted to speak with you about this for a long time now. That night, the night-"

"tom plea-"

"no. y/n please, listen to me just this once" he says with pleading eyes. He was truly trying to communicate with you. He wanted to apologise for what he had said and done.

you gulped down your pride and nodded, keeping caution.

"my dearest, y/n I wanted to tell you how I never meant for this to happen, maybe you won't ever forgive me. Because my reasons won't ever justify my actions towards you or the things I have said to you that night or week. And I just wanted to let you know I regretted everything. and this doesn't mean you have to forgive me"

"It's funny actually, how I realized I cared about you more than I thought, more than I actually think I can , You know how my all my silly giddy or romantic memories only content of you. like the day when you asked me out to go to hogsmeade with you as a date and I was confused on why , mostly beacause you are the most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on. I was even more confused with myself , when I came , but that was the best decision I've ever made. Oh and do you remember last winter? you threw a snowball at me and yelled something abt how i wasnt a good enough thrower to hit you with a snowball"he chuckled at the memories flooding in

you let out a small laugh remembering too

"you remember when we had our first kiss together as boyfriend and girlfriend?" you looked at him wholeheartedly

he smiled and looked down " of course i do , my love' how could I ever forget? that night i completely melted and maybe it was just me but I felt something Ive never felt with anyone else. I missed you and still do , I missed us the most , the little notes , the karaoke nights with only you singing , you dragging me into the rain just to dance in it , the glances we sneak to each other, the peaceful warm nights , you have bewitched my heart and soul, you taught me how to love and care , and mostly how to be loved and cared for , all I am asking is that could we ever go back to what we had?" he finished with tears in his eyes

"tom riddle , I love you with my whole heart , but I cant go back there , those words you said to me that night hurt me , that night where you swore you never cared , I lost a little of myself and you know I cant do this to myself , not after that" you say with teary eyes

he smiled at you , tears falling on his cheeks

"Thank you dear , for your time just know you always and will have a place in my heart , can i have the last kiss before we part ways?"

you smiled and leaned in for the last time ever , the last kiss.

"you too tom"

maybe in another lifetime?

_

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle x reader #harry potter #angst #angst with no happy ending #abraxas malfoy #tom riddle angst

[bioethicists]

hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.

to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.

anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.

first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.

part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.

i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.

however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.

all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.

another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.

ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.

#anti psychiatry #long n rambling sorryyy

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Some of you have probably noticed that I havent made a liveblog post in a while. Well, thats because I usually read on the bus and during my classes and then I come home and summarize my thoughts on the 2-5 chapters I read after theyve marinated in my head for a little while, but unfortunately i appear to be incapacited at the moment so I cant do that. But because its been weeks and I dont wanna forget anything and I would very much like to finish this series soon, I'll try to read at home sometimes from now on. Since my brain is still a lil mush Im gonna do what I did for my last post, which is write down what Im thinking as Im reading instead of summarizing all my thoughts retroactively, except this time I have my german copy on hand so if I want to quote something it'll be a translation

Anyway, with all that said, welcome to my twisted mind, please enjoy my thoughts on A Court of Mist and Fury Chapters 40

Chapter 40

Ive been wanting to say this for a while now but i kept forgetting, but they translated 'winnowing' as 'den Wind spalten' ['splitting the wind'] and that is objectively so much cooler, shoutout to my gal Alexandra Ernst for that

Feyre being like "ugh, its so pathetic how these human guards think they could stand a chance against even one of us" hurts me so much you guys what have they done to my girl

Once again, its apparently perfectly fine if Rhysand doesnt tell Feyre anything "because she never asked" but if Tamlin doesnt tell her anything when she never asked hes the devil

Also once again, Feyre is perfectly not-triggered at Mor wearing a scarlet dress

Idk how to explain this, but Rhysand saying that Feyre is wearing a golden crown because "she looks so good with it, how could he not give her one" is somehow the perfect encapsulation of the hollowness of her High Lady title

Oh, of course three of the queens only showed up to watch the other two talk, itd be too hard to write dialogue if they actually participated in this important conversation

hello???? Feyre referring to humans as "your kind" ??? wth is going on

"every side bears some blame" hey rhysand ive got a question for ya. which side enslaved the other again

everytime the oldest queen does anything the prose feels the need to remind me of how old and wrinkly she is and its like, i get it, shes OLD

The oldest queen is spitting so hard rn, Im not even gonna question how they heard of the night court when Feyre, who lived closest to Prythian for many years, didnt know anything aout the individual courts prior to getting there herself, Im just gonna put her whole little monologue here: "Oh? [...] The High Lord of the Night Court asks that we join him so that we can save lives together? Fight for peace? And what about the lives that you have taken during your long, despicable existance? What about the High Lord who shrouds himself in darkness and destroys the mind of those who stand in his way? [...] We have heard of you on the continent, Rhysand. We have heard of what the Court of Night is capable of, what you do to your enemies. Peace? I wouldn't have thought that you - a man who enslaves the minds of others and kills them out of pure enjoyment - even know that word."

Anyway, she was spitting absolute bars and Feyre gets super mad about it and almost commits arson but manages to reign herself in and its like girlie, why are you so upset? one of the first things we find out about the night court in this book is that they apparently indiscriminately kill (or atleast torture) anyone who crosses the night court border without permission like theyre the fucking us government, i think the bad reputation is justified

Forgive me if I sound callous, but I have absolutely no sympathy for Rhysand flinching at the mention of Amarantha when Feyre didnt even use her name and is also talking about how she fucking DIED AT HER HANDS

God, I feel like I have something to say about every single line this post is gonna be like 10 thousand words long by the time Im done

So lets take it from the top; Feyre tries to convince the mortal queens to give them the half of the book by recounting to them how much everyone suffered under Amarantha and how she was gruesomely beaten to death and then revived, which is not a compelling argument to me, who actually witnessed all of that, much less these queens who have barely any context for anything shes saying right now

The oldest queen is like "you dont know anything about anything" which is true what the fuck does Feyre know about whats going on in the human world or even the fae world at large, and then Rhysand growls "dont you dare talk down to her!!" because shes passionate and speaking from the heart or whatever and its like, okay, shes still not good at politicking or even just basic negatioation and shes talking to a seasoned politician who old as fuck

Like, if Feyre was actually smart, she wouldve long since realized that she couldnt convince these queens to protect this little slip of land right up to prythians border and been like "okay, you dont wanna protect the land, but can you atleast organize an evacuation so you can atleast save the people" Sure, they definitely still wouldnt have agreed to that because its a sjm book and theyre written to be comically evil, but it would atleast demonstrate Feyre being a little savvy, because right now all we're getting is her being stupid and stubborn in a situation where she really cant afford that

god, im just now noticing how pissed off I am, its been bleeding into my commentary and its not gonna stop, Im sorry. wait no, if youre reading this youre probably looking for negativity, so youre welcome, actually

Anyway, Rhys also says that Feyre is a kindhearted soul looking out for people who cant defend themselves even though she definitely thought that those human guards were pathetic for wanting to defend themselves when she and the other fae were soooooo much more powerful and he definitely knows that because the mental bond is fully open during this meeting and he chastises the queens for being selfish and cowardly when its like, my brother in christ you are doing the exact same bullshit, but atleast the queens are defending a wholeass continent while hes defending one (1) city. and iirc that city ends up getting attacked and destroyed anyway so good job my guy

Theres something so oddly biblical about the story Mor is telling about Miriam, down to her name being Miriam

That island thats removed from time is such bullshit istg

Is it just me or have these bozos not actually explained what they even need the other half of the book for. theyre just like "we need to stop this war and we'd like peace between humans and fae" and its like cool, hows the book gonna help with that though

im sorry, feyre wants to punch that old woman in the face????

the chapter ends with Elain being like "I hope they burn in hell" and i get that, they just straight up said that they want to abandon a whole bunch of people (them included) to die if a war breaks out, but you cant say that the night court girlies are not also at fault for being so fucking bad at politics

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feyre #flames and darkness liveblog

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

rant abt my mom bc I am. actually going to Kms ↓ ( it's 10 PM and it's safe to say that since around 1 PM I've been crying. yeah. )

INHALES.

I don't want to cry AGAIN so I'm not going too far but I actually need to let this out

My Mother Dearest might actually have a thing for showing me off to random men at this point. She explicitly uses any opportunity where my dad or brother aren't present to get me in the most stupid horrible situations with disgusting old men.

I don't like makeup or going to the saloon or any of those stereotypical feminine things... but she's OBSESSED with them and

Has a mid life crisis so she's trying to use me to get all the male attention she lives for

Hours earlier, I was getting a picture taken because ?? my mom wanted to? although it's really useless and

I was wearing a really tight sweater UNDERNEATH a really big, comfy jacket.

It is The End Of December so it's pretty cold, and I never take the jacket off on purpose !! but bc I'm wearing a huge comfy jacket It'll be uncomfy to wear something oversized underneath ( which is what I wear when I'm wearing only one layer... listen idk how to explain. U get me )

but now. my Mother dearest. Knowing this. told me to get undressed :))))) Infront of the guy and his camera :))"(+((1!((2(4((£+£33

I LOOKED LIKE A PIXIV/TWITTER ANIME GIRL DRAWING DONE BY A HENTAI ARTIST. I AJNDNFE I LITERALLY HATE HATE HATE HAAAATE That type of... thing. Its

the situation was so humiliating.

it perfectly showed my body and I DONT LIKE THAT. ESPECIALLY When I'm in a closed room with a man and a camera like what the fuck ??? this is literally a p/rno set up

and my mom actually got mad at me, yelled, and hit me with a hair brush to take the jacket off.

I did end up doing what she told me but I ended up crying so much as she's just yelling at me and insulting me. she kept saying how I need to be beat TO act right and she laughed and made jokes of, and I directly quote "a big masculine black guy beating me so I'll act right"

I've had a massive headache and actually ate close to nothing all day and even now I feel more nauseous than anything. but after we came home and ate she hugged me and said "oh I'm sorry but yknow sometimes U just gotta listen to me!!" you don't KNOW BEST YOU ARENT. god. to tell me what to do. sorry.

my mom wants to be worshipped and for her word to be absolute but... no. very unfortunately for her I have a spine and also I am religious.

she told me "oh just do it !! undress!! and god will forgive you later. just ask for his forgiveness" wtf. also fuck off you're the one going to hell for this ? she may think she escaped or evaded the Very Factual and Actual Sin of NOT DRESSING PROPERLY IN PUBLIC SPACES But I. wasnt. at fault.

her way of speaking was really annoying too... you can't just do something that you know is very much haram and a sin and go "oopsies teehe' like

for her she may have no morals and she evidently did say "I don't care about anything but how good the picture looks." but I do

and i

am tired of being forced to do things against my will, comfort and beliefs.

[the-type-a]

Some of my Duncney headcanons because you said you'd like to be spammed :)

- whenever they have lucky charms duncan always eats all of the marshmallows out of the box and leaves courtney with the plain cereal

-courtney doesn't like the crust on her sandwiches so duncan will eat it for her

-courtney is always the first to wake up in the morning, but sometimes duncan will turn off her alarm a day in advance just so he can spend more time with her

-in a world where total drama doesnt exist they always meet through mutual friends i dont know why but thats a rule

-He'll purposefully hide behind corners to scare her and it works 98% of the time but she grows used to it at some point

-they adopt a big threatening looking dog and name it princess and give it a pink collar or something

-when theyre teenagers shes at his house 99% of the time because it just feels so homey compared to hers

-they both wear glasses when theyre alone at home, dont ask why i just think its cute

-When they're not even that far into their relationship, he gets a tattoo of her name in cursive right above his collarbone or something because hes impulsive and she thinks its so thoughtful but also so incredibly stupid of him

-I headcanon that duncan has adhd and maybe a little bit of dyslexia so if he can't read something too well she'll read it to him

-She listens to him ramble and even if the topic changes 5 times she'll be there to add on and nod her head

-They go to the gym together and are SOOO competitive but are each other's biggest supporters at the same time

-She lets him give her a piercing at least once because he never shuts up about it

-She'll help him dye his hair

-Duncan's nose whistles while he sleeps because he has a crooked septum and Courtney complains about it at first but at some point it actually becomes really soothing and she'll wait for him to fall asleep first every night because the whistling helps her sleep

-Courtney cant cook for the life of her and she's jealous of him because he's one of the best cooks she's ever met. She'll follow a recipie to a T and it'll still turn out terrible, meanwhile he measures everything with his heart and it always turns out SO good.

-Duncan can sleep anywhere and everywhere meanwhile she'll be kept up by the littlest things. He knows this and will go to extreme measures just to make sure she's comfortable.

-Say they go to a restaurant and they get her order wrong. His first instinct is to tell off the waiter himself, but he knows she'll be pissed because she can fight her own battles, so he'll just support her in the background like "you heard the lady."

-He sleeps with socks on and it makes her SO mad

-Although he's hard to read, she can always tell when he's nervous because he twists around one of the studs in his ear.

-they both love cartoons

-They both get jealous so easily and it's a turn on for both of them when the other is jealous

-He listens to her work drama and gets soo invested. He'll say stuff like "You know I never liked that bitch" or "No I literally would've done the same thing If i were you-"

-He always thinks he's paying the bill at restaurants but she'll say she's going to the bathroom only to give them her card instead. He never finds out and takes so much pride in it.

-Duncan literally owns spiders but is terrified of something harmless like a moth or a ladybug. He instantly yells and forces Courtney to kill them instead.

-Before he leaves for work she'll kiss him and her lipstick will leave a mark on his face and she purposefully wont tell him

-He always takes pictures of her when she's not looking and sends them to their friends because he thinks she looks most beautiful when she doesn't even know it

-She tries to teach him spanish and he only picks up on the swears

-They both have terrible road rage. Like they should not be allowed to drive

-She gets addicted to something like candy crush or Hayday and he has to take her phone from her for her own safety

-Their playlists are so different but hand either one of them the aux and they always sing every word together

That's all I can think of right now 😂 but i hope atleast some of these sound in character for them

I loved every single one of these!

- tbh… I think Courtney would like that Duncan takes all the marshmallows from lucky charms. Idk they seem kinda gross and unnecessary… don’t hate me 👀

- Okay the crust one is so cute if it were Dramarama Duncney! Imagine her at lunch time and just pouting so much until Duncan asks her what’s wrong? Then he makes fun of her for “being a baby” and eats it for her. Then she vows to never let that happen again so she starts trying all the food things she hates.

- Duncan shuts Courtney’s alarm off ONE TIME and all hell breaks loose. She’s scrambling, cursing, and Duncan is just sitting there like “It’s Saturday.”

- Ah, the KB5 never fails us at setting up a Duncney meet up. Valid.

- The one where Duncan is trying to scare her constantly is so funny because I can just imagine her getting so used to it that doesn’t even phase her anymore. Like one day she’s going through the mail and he pops out and she completely ignored him and shoves a bill in his face 😅

- Oh they absolutely adopted a dog and name her princess! She’s a meany to the world but to her parents? Oh, she’s the biggest baby!

- Oh man, the one with Courtney being at Duncan’s house 24/7? YES. It makes me sad tbh, but I completely agree. Her household is just so strict that if you even sleep in past a normal waking hour her parents are hounding her for it. So going to Duncan’s is so refreshing and his family absolutely adores her so they don’t even mind. Heck, sometimes Duncan gets home and Courtney’s just chilling with his mom.

- Duncney in glasses is so CUTE. I need fanart of it asap! Courtney’s always worn them but has her contacts in almost constantly. Duncan refuses to acknowledge he needs them until the very last minute because he HATES being compared to his dad on any level. And it’s canon that his dad has glasses lmao

- Imagine Duncan sneaking into Courtney’s room like, “Sup, Babe. Check it out.” and just pulls his shirt off to show her. Meanwhile Courtney’s just sitting in her bed like how the fuck did you get into my room and why the fuck is my name on you?! Then she’s like “Awe, that’s so cute.” and Duncan’s all “I’m not cute.”

- Omfg yes! Imagine Duncan reading Courtney’s published book?! Imagine him wanting her to read whatever little mini story she has written for herself? I HC her as always writing away whenever she’s super stressed and sometimes they turn into cute little stories with an actual plot.

- Courtney loves when Duncan talks about his passions. There’s never just one, he has like a billion ideas and dreams and he never forgets to add the “And I want you along side me through it all.” She absolutely gushes about it on the inside!

- I fucking love gym Duncney! They have their own workouts but always ALWAYS scan the floor to check on each other. Whenever Courtney finds him checking her out he winks and she blushes no matter how long they’ve been together. And of course they are popping up whenever anyone comes up to the other trying to flirt. Hell no, they shut that shit down 😂

- Courtney’s had her ears pierced since she was three months old (Latinos say I) so whenever Duncan suggests more piercings she’s always like, “I already have my ears done.” So he suggests her bellybutton so much that she eventually lets him and it’s the scariest thing to hide from her parents until she moves out.

- Courtney has a little green tint to her fingertips because she’s ditched using gloves a long time ago. Duncan insists they only get in the way 🙄 So when people joke around with the, “Oh, looks like someone has a green thumb!” She looks down and is like, “Nope, just my boyfriends hair dye.”

- Courtney’s the type of person who needs complete and total silence and darkness to fall asleep. At first she’s constantly waking Duncan up or turning him the other way so she can at least fall asleep. Eventually she realizes it’s comforting because she knows he’s with her and whenever he’s at work or something she literally cannot sleep until he’s home. It’s a problem lmao

- No because the cooking one hit a little too close to home LMAO. Honestly, WHY are guys so good at cooking out of nowhere? Not fair. Anyway, yes. Courtney knows a few dishes but they never compare to her Abuela’s/Mom’s cooking. But Duncan? Oh, his Nonna practically dragged him into the kitchen to help her at such a young age that he’s a natural. That’s the one person in his life that he truly can say loves him unconditionally (besides Courtney of course).

- It literally pisses Courtney off so much at how quickly Duncan can fall asleep.

- Going to a restaurant is scary for the both of them. Not only do they have to dodge paparazzi, but there is almost always a problem. It can be the food, the people, or just something plain like the restaurant being out of the one thing both of them wanted. They’d much rather stay at home to avoid a scene lol

- Courtney WILL wait until Duncan’s knocked out to take those damn socks off.

- Goodness, YES. Duncan will never show emotion, he’s constantly with his poker face but Courtney just knows when something is up. She can tell by the tone of his voice and his body language. Then the little stud twist? Done deal. She is getting him the hell out of there and trying to calm him down.

- Duncan loves watching cartoons like family guy, American dad, etc. while Courtney just enjoys the childhood reruns like Kim Possible lmao. Sometimes Duncan will come home and catch her binge watching something cute like that.

- Before Duncney are in their mature stage of their relationship they are definitely pulling strings on each other. They get in a fight? Bet. Watch me go flirt with this girl or guy just to piss you off enough to snap. It’s toxic af but it works for them in some weird kinda way.

- Duncan absolutely hates listening and LIKING the work gossip Courtney talks about. At first he’s so annoyed and tries to change the subject but one time when Bridgette is over Courtney is telling a story and he’ll catch himself either correcting her or being like, “Don’t forget she did this too.”

- Ah Duncan. The king of never checking his monthly billing statements that would so clearly indicate he has in fact NOT paid for a date for months.

- Hm, I think duncan would lie and say he “can’t kill a lady bug because it’s so pure to the world.” or something along those lines. In reality he’s terrified.

- Hell yeah, Courtney! Tell everyone that’s YOUR man. I’m cheering her on with this one. 💅🏼

- Courtney has the GC on dnd because Geoff is always blowing it up in the middle of the night. So when she randomly checks it after a long day she’s just scrolling through like 20 pictures of herself drinking coffee or fixing her hair. Then DJ, the supportive king is always like, “Awe, those are nice.”

- Courtney teaching Duncan Spanish 🤝🏼 Duncan teaching Courtney Italian

- We all watched celebrity manhunt. Those two need their licenses suspended immediately.

- Imagine Courtney playing candy crush LMAO. She’s one of those people who are always like, “I could never get so consumed by a game like that.” Then downloads it during covid and is up ALL NIGHT and Duncan’s just like concerned 💀

- OMFG YES YES YES! Duncney’s playlist are so so different but they know each others taste and everything. If Duncan blasts some punk rock Courtney knows the chorus and even does a little air guitar when it’s time. And Duncan will never ever in a million years admit it but whenever Courtney plays her music? If he’s belting out those babies with her. And the ballads?!? Oh, it’s beautiful.

#total drama #duncney #td courtney #td duncan #total drama courtney #total drama duncan

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Broken Bloodlines Chapter 5

——————————————————————————

Hello everyone! Have a part 5!!!

also the chapters for arc two will be shorter for ease of reading.

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

——————————————————————————

Though as surprising as his agreement to this was, I had no doubt he’d hidden some sort of weapon on him somewhere.

And I definitely had learned from last time!

“Okay, but i'm pretty sure you have at least one weapon on you so please remove it first”

He looked surprised for only about a second.

“You got me there, give me a second”

he moved to pull a dagger out from under his shirt and one strapped to his leg.

I really hoped that wasn't the same one as last time, but it probably was considering that it had been an expensive looking one.

“Two this time? Really?”

He pulled out another knife from god knew where.

“Three actually, Paranoia does not help me sleep”

I huffed an unamused sound.

“But knives do?”

“No, not really, but if another assassin is sent my way I'd rather have something to defend myself with”

Yeah, that made sense, still three of them? How could he lie down without any of them poking him?

“How the fuck can you even sleep when you got those things jabbing you?”

He let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Maybe that was the problem, at least i put all of them in a sheath”

Yeah, I'd rather not hear the news that the new king has died because the hidden knives he had sliced him to bits when he slept.

“So, three knives, you sure that's all of them?”

He nodded.

“I'm not dressed up in fancy gear right now so i don't think i could hide more than three anyway”

I'd bet he'd find a way somehow, but I wasn't about to speak that out loud.

“Sooo, that's all, right? And you are sure about this?”

Rikaad stopped where he was for a moment.

“I'm not sure about anything at the moment, But I do know if i don't get sleep i won't be able to function tomorrow.

And i already worked trough last night trying to find those stupid papers”

He HADN'T slept last night?!? While I had a hunch for a while now that he needed less sleep than the average person that could not be healthy.

Also, the papers? It was still about these stupid papers? He was still searching for them? Why? He had bigger things to worry about.

“You know what? Forget the papers for a bit, they aren't that important, at least right now, you can go back to looking for them once this madness is over, okay?”

He didn't look like he believed that the law papers about Fae weren't important but also didn't say anything against it.

“If you say so, well then, we better get on with this or it'll be morning before we even started”

That Was true. 

While it had been barely midnight by the time I found him in the throne room, it must be at least one in the morning by now.

“Okay, i'll go slow, and if you wanna back out just say so and i'll stop”

He nodded and then stood up before looking a bit confused for about a millisecond.

Oh, right, he'd never done this calmly before so he had no idea what to do.

Well good thing I did.

What a strange thing I'd better not dwell on it for the sake of my sanity.

I shuffled myself into a more upright position because choking on a person was the last thing I wanted, especially right now.

Also Rikaad wasn't freaking out this time, And I wasn't in an adrenaline induced rush.

As for Rikaad, well he just stood there so i decided to put him a bit more at ease.

By gently bonking the top of his head with the underside of my jaw.

It made Robin laugh so maybe it would soothe some of his fried nerves?

Well it didn't make him laugh, he just looked confused now.

Well better than stressed at least.

Though I had probably drawn this out for long enough, even if half of that had been to make sure he left any knives outside this time.

So I gently put my jaws around the broad shouldered man and let him slide onto my tongue.

He tried to brace himself so I stopped moving with his legs still outside my mouth.

I had said I would stop if he told me to and that also meant listening to him in case he wanted to say anything but also to take enough time to be able to reassure him.

He went back to semi relaxed pretty quickly and I surmised that bracing himself had been reflexive more than anything.

With that settled I slowly tipped my head back again and this time his legs disappeared from the outside world, now fully framed by teeth.

I stopped again for a few seconds to make sure Rikaad was still onboard with this before I continued.

Besides, getting a person out of my throat was sheer impossible, so if he did freak out he'd have to wait till he was all the way down before I could get him out again.

But I did hope that wouldn't happen.

He was still calm, only shifting slightly, so I tipped my head back even more to signal what I was about to do.

I couldn't exactly speak when my mouth was full, so this would have to do.

He didn't protest or anything so I took it as my sign to keep going.

Tipping my head back a tiny bit more I swallowed, and then had to swallow again as Rikaads broad shoulders stretched the surprisingly elastic flesh of my gullet.

Why was he more buff than half the castle Guards anyway? Well knowing Rikaad he probably had trained obsessively to get to that point.

And since he was halfway in my throat I couldn't get him out anyway.

When I felt like he was slowing down I swallowed again to get things moving again.

I did have to admit that Rikaad trusting me enough to do this again after last time went so horribly made me happy.

Sure, the entire thing was strange as fuck but this time Rikaad actually trusted me! Trusted me enough to put him in the same place he thought he was gonna die in.

So he did consider me a friend also, actually did, and not just said so.

Sure he'd said we were friends but reading the stoic man's expressions was hard on a good day.

And growing up I had become all too aware that there were people who would call you their friend just to get their way.

But Rikaad trusted me, trusted me enough to tuck him away from the world for a few hours and then release him unharmed.

The paranoid and almost overly self sufficient man trusted me to take control for a little while.

Not control of his kingdom or anything but control over himself.

He had no weapons, at least I hoped so, and no way to get out on his own, or maybe he really was just that tired?

Swallowing again I felt him slide into the pouch and then shift a little to get situated.

“Well, this is a lot less adrenaline inducing than last time”

I huffed amusedly.

“I sure hope so, you ARE supposed to sleep now, and don't worry about assassins or whatever, If anything wants to get to you it has to go through me first! literally”

That got an amused sound from him.

“I guess so, but please do not put yourself in harms way for my sake”

“Don't worry, I won't, now go to sleep already!”

I could sense more than hear him hum an agreement and feel him crossing his arms to sleep.

I shuffled slightly in front of the bed so that if anyone barged in they wouldn't immediately see the empty bed.

As tempting as it was to use it as a pillow there was a chance it would be full of green hairs the next day, also it wasn't mine and now that Rikaad was finally going to sleep I wasn't about to disturb him.

Right now the man had settled into a warm and relaxed lump with his breathing slowly evening out.

Besides, I was used to sleeping on the floor and I could just use one of my own arms as a pillow.

Which I promptly did, joining Rikaad in sleep while he dreamt about who knew what.

I was woken up sometime later by the door creaking open and I opened one eye to look at what had disturbed the quiet.

“Well that's one way ta deter possible assassins!”

It was Nea, standing in the doorway and leaning on a crutch.

Oh fuck.

Luckily she couldn't see the empty bed from the door but I hoped she wouldn't ask where Rikaad was, or notice that anything was amiss.

Better play it cool then and ask why she was up or something.

“Nea? Shouldn't you be asleep? Or at least on bed rest?”

Well asleep might be exaggerating, judging by the light coming in from the window it was morning already.

“Eh, yer Brother voiced his concern at yer disappearance so i said i’d go look fer yer fuzzy ass, well ye're okay so i'm going ta go again, I don't wanna wake our poor tired King! Heaven knows he needs sleep! Oh and tell him the next meeting is around noon! Byee!”

She slinked out again and closed the door,  Well, that was easier than expected.

Well she did say she did not want to wake Rikaad, and neither did i but i would later when he had to go to that meeting thingy.

Luckily there was an actual clock in this room.

But for now the man needed all the sleep he could get.

I yawned a little and just kept lying on the floor where I was, barely moving so as to not disturb the tired man.

Though that left the problem that Fable was probably worried about me, Nea did say he was looking for me but she’d tell him I was alright.

Besides Fable could go an hour or so without me, he was the older one after all, and Robin and Arthur were also there.

He'd be fine.

For now I would just chill here with Rikaad fast asleep in my pouch.

It really was weird, after the last time I really believed he'd say no when I told him the idea but he had actually agreed!

Okay there was a very good probability that he had been just so tired that he would have agreed to whatever.

Oh well, there was a zero chance he'd ever agree to this again so I'd better enjoy it while it lasted.

But of course just my luck that was when he decided to wake up.

I felt him move a little and then he spoke in a way less tired voice than yesterday, even if it was still a bit sleepy.

"Morning… Did I really agree to be put here last night?"

I smiled, relaxing a little. 

"Yeah… you said you needed to hide from the world for a bit"

Rikaad sighed, relaxing slowly. 

"Just had to check that…"

I nodded, rubbing over him where he sat in the pouch very gently.

"Are you feeling any better this morning?"

Rikaad yawned before speaking.

"Believe it or not, yes, I think I've at least gotten a little bit of proper sleep"

I smiled, it was nice to hear he was doing better.

"Good, so you're not overly tired anymore?I was worried last night that the Rikaad I knew suddenly wasn't there any more…"

Rikaad gave a soft chuckle at my comment.

"Yeah… I think he wandered off for a few hours there and just kind of left me vacant"

Rikaad was shifting slowly then, as if checking all of his limbs were still functional.

"Can I come out now then? I should have a shower and get ready for a meeting that's scheduled later"

Oh right, Nea mentioned a meeting, what did she say again? Ah yeah according to her it was around Noon.

“Sure, Nea said it was around Noon, also don't worry she has no idea about this! 

Now gimme a second”

I stood up to the best of my ability with he narrow ceiling, well narrow for me, and turned to face a side door that had a stupidly elaborate bathroom sign.

He probably appreciated it if he didn't have to walk around slimy anymore than he absolutely had to.

“Okay, for the sake of not making me choke please don't move”

After hearing his agreement to that I began to bring him out, finding it easier to manage now which probably was due to him being more relaxed and less tense.

Oh wait that was because this time he'd put his hands over his head, thus slimming his shoulders.

Smart move actually.

Due to this he was out in no time.

“Well, I better get this… Whatever off and make myself presentable again”

Fair point, even if he was less covered in slime than I had expected he couldn't exactly go out like that.

“Sure, i'm going to shift back and look for my brother, he's probably worried”

He gave a nod before tugging a bit on the hem of his shirt, probably trying to get it to stop clinging to him.

“You do that, i have to do meetings and paperwork later, you know i actually don't like this job but your suggestion to have other people sort papers is a good one so i'm definitely going to look into that” 

Oh, he actually was considering my suggestion? That was nice, and maybe he'd be less stressed then!

“Good to hear, well, see you around”

Shifting back to my human size I went outside so he could make himself ready and went to go and look for Fable as well as Robin or Arthur depending on who I found first.

Navigating unknown parts of the castle at day wasn't any better than at night but at least there was less chance of walking into a wall in broad daylight like this.

It took a good twenty minutes until I found a familiar part of the castle and was able to go down to the throne room from where I could better navigate around.

As luck would have it, that's where Fable currently was! And Robin too!

“Donovan! Where have you been?”

Robin barreled into me and I almost fell over while he clung to me.

“I got lost when i tried to get water in the night, don't worry i'm fine”

He muffled something into my chest that sounded like  ‘Someone should make a map of the castle’ before he let go.

Fable had been just standing there in the meantime so I crossed the three or so steps it took to get to him and also gave him a hug.

He didn't reciprocate but at this point I didn't really expect him to.

“Sorry for worrying you, the castle layout is just really weird to navigate, especially at night”

For once he actually answered to something that wasn't outright a question.

“It is rather strangely built i agree on that”

I let go of him and then tried to gauge what time it was, which considering we were inside a building wasn't working out that well.

“So, does anyone have an idea on what to do today? I don't think we are supposed to go further from the castle than yesterday and i have no idea what else there is to do”

That much was true, a nd going to the Library once again would get old real quick.

Robin looked thoughtful for a moment before an expression of Elation crossed his features.

“I heard there is an empty tower! The one on the left right over the cliff!

If we can find a telescope we could look really far!”

Huh, that might actually be fun! But I could not recall any place that would have a telescope that was nearby.

The only one i could imagine having one was Oakley, but we hadn't seen the fucker in a while now and had no idea what he was up to.

Not to mention that we weren't allowed to go that far away from the castle, maybe we could ask a guard to carry a message?

“That's a good idea! You know where to get a telescope? The only one i can see having one around here is Oakley and i don't think we are supposed to go that far at the moment”

He tilted his head, likely in contemplation.

“I think Barsen has one, i've seen him with one at least, i think he uses it to see how the treetops are doing”

Really? I hadn't exactly expected the Gardener to have one,  but if he lent it to us that would be great!

Well given he doesn't need it himself today.

“Didn't think he would have one,  it is quite different from a shovel after all,  but if he lets us use it i'm all for it”

Now we just had to find him, which considering that it was Barsen we were talking about would either take five minutes or three hours if at all.

“He is over there”

Both mine and Robin's head turned to Fable who was currently pointing at the entrance to the throne room where Barsen was leaving through.

“Oh good eye Fable! Let's go ask before he disappears for the day!”

It didn't take much to catch up to him as he was watering some of the potted plants right in front of the entrance, and as all the flowers under his care the roses he was tending to looked stunning.

“Hello boys! What brings you to me?”

He set a heavy looking watering can down and turned to face all three of us.

Robin immediately sprang up front.

“Barsen, I've seen you walk around with a telescope, can we borrow it? Please? We want to go on top of a tower and look at things!”

“Telescope?.. Oh yeah i know which one you mean, it's in my hut i can get it after i'm done watering these plants but you have to promise to be careful with it! It used to belong to my great grandmother and is very old”

Oh, that was an old telescope, no wonder he told us to be careful with it.

And if he kept watch over it like he did with his plants it was probably still in very good condition.

“It was your great grandmas? Wow, that must be an antique then! We promise to look after it”

He laughed a little at that and moved to the next row of potted plants.

“Y’know it was said that my great grandmother was a dryad or Nymph of some sort so technically im also partly Fae, even if that part is tiny”

I blinked in confusion, I hadn't known that, and I really hadn't expected anyone that was working in the castle to have any such heritage.

But this was probably the first time he said that and since it was his great grandma that was Fae there literally weren't any tells in his appearance.

He grinned at the confused faces we made.

“Didn't expect me to be working here eh? Well to be fair the old king never knew, well nobody really did, but also nobody asked”

“Is that why you work as a Gardener?!”

Robin exclaimed in excitement.

“Hah! I suppose so! I've always had an affinity for plants so I just made it my job, and then I got good enough to be asked to work at the castle so I thought why not? 

There are a lot of Plants here though so it's perfect for me”

He moved to the next and last row of potted plants.

Well if he had a heritage like that it made sense for him to choose such a job, and also why he didn't bat an eye at my shapeshifting antics.

He poured the last of the water in the last pot and shouldered the now empty watering can.

“Well if you can wait a second here i'll go get the Telescope now”

We nodded and he went around the castle opposite the side of my shed.

Robin immediately turned to me, basically vibrating with excitement.

“Oh that's so cool! He also has Fae heritage! But I have no idea what a dryad is, do you?”

A dryad? Uhh i wasn't sure but i was fairly certain that those were the tree ladies that sometimes took root in random places and sometimes didn't move for years.

“Uhh i'm not sure but i think they are like humanoid trees? Like the only thing i know is that they can take root like an actual tree and then look likea woman from the waist up, but i have no idea if i'm correct in that”

My eyes flitted to Fable to see if he knew or if I was just plainly wrong but he just gave a tiny and elegant nod.

Huh, so i had been right, nice.

Robin still looked a bit confused and was likely trying to figure out how something human shaped could take root but Barsen was already on his way back.

He'd just rounded the corner of the castle with a long and prettily decorated Box in hand, the Telescope no doubt.

“Here it is boys! Just remember to be careful and treat it with respect!”

He held the box out and opened it to reveal a beautiful brass telescope that had strange vines engraved on it that I had never seen before.

Well if it belonged to a plant based Fae the pattern was a perfect fit.

“This is a beautiful Telescope, are you sure you're okay with us borrowing it? It looks really expensive”

Barsen just nodded and closed the box before handing it to Robin who very carefully took it and then held it secure to his chest.

“I know you boys are not stupid, and i know you're going to be careful with it, i just ask you only take it out of the box when you are at your destination to avoid dropping it”

We all nodded and Barsen waved once before he turned away to go do whatever he still had to do.

“You boys have fun now, and tell me if you see something interesting, I might take a look myself sometime!”

With that he disappeared once again into the greenery.

I bent down a little to look at the violet painted wooden box that contained the telescope.

“I do have to say that is a really pretty piece of craftsmanship, well we better find our way to the tower now because i am curious how well this thing still works”

As pretty as it was, it was still old and therefore might not work as well as it did in the past, not to mention that the glass might not be the best anymore.

Eh, as long as it was fun.

So we set off to find the entrance to the tower which took a good half an hour or more until we found the door to the staircase.

As soon as we opened it we realized that we had to walk quite a lot to get to the top.

We were even joined by the cat as soon as we had taken the first few steps to go up.

Well the cat likely hadn't been in this part before judging by how dusty some of the things were and was just as curious as we were to explore this part of the castle.

I wasn't sure how long it took us to get to the top but by a rough estimate it was at least a good fifteen minutes and we were pretty out of breath once we reached the top.

Well me and Robin, Fable was perfectly fine and not even sweating or breathing any different.

The guy had a lot of endurance it seemed.

After we had catched our breath we staked out a spot on the stone wall that functioned as a railing and carefully opened the Box Barsen gave us.

Since he gave the Box to Robin he was first.

To make sure he didn't fall I was holding onto the back of his shirt as I knew how excited he could get and I really did not want him falling off of this.

He looked right ahead at first where there was nothing but water for miles and then maybe some more land that belonged to Maringand before he swiveled right and out onto the ocean where he might be able to catch glimpses of various ships.

“This is actually a really good telescope! There's not one speck of dirt on the lenses and the sight is very clear!”

Really? That was awesome! 

Well no real surprise considering Barsen had been taking care of it.

I wondered what I might be able to spy when it was my turn.

Robin then swiveled the telescope way Left and then made a confused face.

“What is that? And there are a LOT of people near Lormount”

“What? wait, lemme see!”

He climbed down from the wall and handed me the Telescope.

Stepping up the wall myself I made sure I was standing steady and then took a look at what Robin had seen.

That was Lormount alright, the place between kingdoms that was divided by a river in the middle.

And as Robin had said there were a LOT of people, they were also dragging caravans and wagons behind them and there was one structure that had a big tarp over it that was towed by at least six oxen.

That could not be good, and i had absolutely no doubt what this was the Maringand army.

But already? Then again Winton must have had this planned for months if not years and considering the recent change in Kingship here it was the perfect opportunity for an attack.

Rikaad did not have much experience and didn't even get settled in as King so starting to attack now was basically the best opportunity they would get.

We needed to tell Rikaad, and NOW!

“Guys that's the Army, and not ours, we need to tell Rikaad, or Norrin if you find him first!”

Suddenly Fable was standing on the wall beside me and if I wasn't already used to him appearing right next to me I might have fallen off.

He took the telescope from me and was looking at it himself.

The puppet-like and eerily symmetrical smile which graced his features previously had dropped from his face which wasn't any better really and stared with a weird and calculating look in his eyes through the lens.

“In my estimate they will reach the river in about five hours”

What?! Nevermind how Fable knew that but five hours would never be enough time to ready our own army to the same level.

“This is bad, we need to tell Rikaad NOW!”

Fable gave the telescope back to Robin who put it neatly back into its case and we nearly fell down the stairs in our hurry to get back.

As soon as we reached the bottom Fable darted past me and Robin faster than any of us could ever hope to be and disappeared into the castle.

Aside from the fact that he finally finally took action for himself we still had to sound an alarm or whatever we could find.

Well, sprinting to more familiar parts of the castle would surely help already.

It was only a minute or so until we found ourselves back in the throne room as apparently every hallway eventually ended here.

Fable was already here and talking to both Rikaad and Norrin who had rather grave expressions on their faces.

Nea was there too looking extra grimm today and severely displeased.

her foot was still not really functional so she would not be able to go and fight, and if there was one thing i knew about her it was that she loved fighting.

Still, we had a rather big problem on our hands and as we reached Fable and the others Norrin darted away to somewhere outside, no doubt rallying all of the troops and soldiers as well as the guard.

“Rikaad! Are you okay? Do you need help with anything?”

The taller man turned to us, well taller than me and Robin at least Fable was still the tallest person in the room.

Where was he anyway? He'd been here just a second ago.

I could look for him in a moment right now Rikaad needed help more.

“I'm fine for the moment, Norrin has it handled outside and Nea can still Order people around even if she's unable to properly fight and Arthur has his own division to take care of.

You just get to safety, I'll be back once this is over okay?”

Get to safety, get to safety meant staying in the castle while both Rikaad and Arthur risked their lives in battle and I had to admit that I came to like both Nea and even Norrin too.

Yeah I had finally made my mind up after seeing the army,  i would not stay back, 

for once in my life i would fight back to the best of my ability.

And my abilities included turning into a big green Beast! 

The shock factor alone would be great.

As for Robin, well I really did not endorse him going anywhere near the battle, besides he still had a Barsens telescope.

Oh now I had an idea, telling him to have an eye on the kitchen staff and protect them from possible intruders would surely help boost his confidence while also keeping him away from the main fight.

Rikaad had already left to manage Weapons or something and I currently didn't know where Fable was so I would tell Robin to give the telescope back and then keep an eye on the kitchen staff.

Myril had a soft spot for him so surely she’d help.

I turned to the ginger who was still clutching the telescope in its box.

“Okay, Robin i think you ought to give that back to Barsen-”

I pointed at the telescope.

“-And then i want you to go see if the Kitchen staff have a Guard, if not stay there and protect them, it's possible for single people to slip through our hastily built barricades and assault any of the castle staff”

He nodded and stood up straight before saluting like he surely learned as a recruit and then left through a side door, probably to find Barsen and then check on the kitchen staff.

Alright now that Robin was out of harm's way I could focus on helping Rikaad, after I found Fable of course.

So I ran outside to try and spot the tall and pale man.

I didn't see him for a good minute or so and almost started to fear he had bailed as I noticed him walking back inside though the busy gate carrying both a beautifully swung bow with who knew how many thin and perfectly straight arrows as well as what I assumed to be a Rapier.

Where the fuck did he get them? They didn't exactly look human made so it was possible he'd hidden them before he entered the castle.

Also that he had brought weapons meant he was going to fight, But why? He wasn't a citizen of this place, hell he wasn't even human.

“Fable! Thank God I found you! You do know you don't HAVE to fight, right? This isn't your Kingdom and not even your own folk, you don't have to put yourself at risk!”

He stared me right in the eyes with his uncannily red ones that seemed less dull than the day he arrived.

“Yes, but you are going to fight, i have seen it in your eyes, and they might be not my Folk but they are Half yours and you are my Brother so if you fight i will fight too”

He was right, unconsciously I had made up my mind since the start.

I was going to Help fight Maringand, or at the very least try to protect the people that had been nice to me.

Maybe that had been why I was so confused when Rikaad didn't ask for my help.

No matter now, we needed to get to lormount, and that fast.

They also needed help pulling some of the carts as there were not enough Horses or oxen present to tow all of them.

Well I could tow some of them, at least three or four given that there was enough rope, 

and we also had to find Rikaad and tell him we were joining the battle.

Well finding Rikaad had priority seeing as he was calling the shots.

“Fable, have you seen where Rikaad went? We do have to inform him were joining”

Fable blinked and then pointed somewhere to our left.

Looking over I saw that he was mounting a massive Gray speckled Draft horse ready to lead Soldiers into the fight.

We went over as fast as we could as he could ride off at any moment followed by the rest of the horsemen.

“RIKAAD”

He stopped for just a bit as he saw both me and Fable going in his direction.

“Donovan? I told you you don't have to fight! What are you doing here? And Fable too! This isn't your Kingdom you don't have to fight”

As true as all that was, He overlooked the fact that we could make decisions on our own.

And ours was to fight alongside Kamerasca.

“We know! But we want to fight! I know this place hated me but not anymore! Thanks to you! I want to help you! And I want to protect all of the people that have been kind to me!”

For just a second he looked genuinely touched which bled into confusion soon enough at the sound of flapping wings.

We all looked up to see Oakley, who had ditched the cloak and was instead wearing a crazy array of belts strapped this way and that with a ton of unknown trinkets attached to it.

“Oakley? What are you doing here? And what is all that?”

Rikaad gestured to the wildly arranged Belts.

Oakley just cocked his head in that birdlike way of his and then grinned.

“Well Donovan already got the touching stuff out of the way so i'm here to tell you i want to go kick ass! 

But joking aside I JUST got settled into the tower and if Maringand wins I'll have to move again, and without my stuff too!

As for what these are-”

He pointed to the countless trinkets strapped to him that had a strange oval shape with a ring on top.

“-well these are Granatas! Easy to use! You just remove the ring at the top and after some seconds they go BOOM!”

Explosives? He had EXPLOSIVES of all things? I believed those things to be a myth, really why would I believe that something the size of an apple could wreak just as much destruction as a cannonball.

On another note, why did he have them? Did he MAKE them?

“Oakley, WHY do you have that?”

Rikaad questioned him but the winged man just continued to smile.

“Well i made them, and no i am never going to tell anyone how to make them nor am i giving any of these away to any of your soldiers, i'm not even giving any to you and i know you are the most responsible person here”

Well it WAS Oakley so that checked out, and we could ask later when the hell he even made them, for now we had a battle to win.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Oakley putting on those weird claw gauntlets he had already used to defeat the ice mage and lift off into the sky while Rikaad was directing soldiers this way and that with the help of Norrin.

“You two! Go try and help the carts! Donovan I think the Ardua would be fit for this, and don't worry all the Guards already know!”

Rikaad then rode of towards where most of the troop was waiting at the bottom of the slope that led to the castle.

Well of course he had the foresight to avoid a mass panic like that should I shift in the battle.

Better do what he said then, i took a few steps away from Fable so as to not topple him over and twisted the Gem on the bracelet.

In just a second I was back to being the big green beast.

Dragging carts like this would be easy!

“I was not aware you were able to do that”

I looked down at Fable, what? But wasn't this entire bracelet thing Elven magic or whatever? Well Oakley once mentioned it being rare so it was entirely possible Fable hadn't known what it was.

Well fuck me, i would have liked to know that sooner but Fable never really asked questions of his own.

No matter now, I could talk to him later about this for now we had more important things to do.

“Doesn't matter right now, let's go and help with the carts already!”

I turned to leave in the direction we needed to go before I turned to him again and made a hop on motion with my head.

He had jumped up and climbed onto my back before I had even a chance to duck down so he could use my arm as a step.

Well that was one way to do that.

Faster too.

We reached the carts pretty quickly considering that my legs were taller than Rikaad’s draft horse and over the course of twenty minutes managed to tow at least six wagons and carts to me.

It took another hour or so to get the carts where they needed to be in the defense line.

All the while Fable sat on my back with his bow at the ready and was shooting at scouts from the enemy.

One time he managed to get an arrow right inside the slit of the visor of one, the man went down and did not get up again.

I did not want to think about that, at all.

After that was done we went to help with the next carts and the like and after that was done did it again and after a good three hours we had distributed all of them on our side of the river.

We didn't get too close to the river as the ground was sometimes swampy and soft and could open up sinkholes if too much weight was put on it.

Also it had the advantage that the enemies had to cross the river first which was not an easy feat in itself.

There were a few bridges sure but they were easily set on fire, and the river itself might look calm but right under the surface were extremely dangerous currents and Rapids that would sweep one away in barely a blink.

And speaking of enemies, they had gotten a lot closer than before and I had to admit that Fable's estimate was scarily accurate.

We both were currently resting behind a large tent per Rikaad’s orders as he didn't wasn't us to be tired before the fight even began.

He was right of course, even if I was just itching to go and do something to help even more.

Fable just bridged the time by fine tuning his Bow that he had admitted to hiding before he came to the castle to appear as non threatening as possible.

His Sword, which was as I had correctly guessed a rapier, was also polished to the point where it functioned perfectly well as a mirror.

It was very clear that Fable had used both of those weapons before and I didn't want to think about that.

I was aware that it was entirely possible that he had killed before, especially considering that he had to travel through human territory to get here.

But i didn't want to believe that, so i just wouldn't and instead closed my eyes to the violence that was about to start in barely half an hour.

Half an hour, huh, half an hour and bloodshed would commence and all because some guy decided to be greedy.

I briefly wondered if Winton was even liked in his own kingdom or if everyone just did as he said because he was the king.

Probably the latter, and if Arthur was right Winton had a group of radical followers behind him who did his bidding.

I spied out past the tent to see if it was time to move while Fable was still busy with his arrows.

It looked like a smaller group had split from the army and was walking towards the middle bridge.

Rikaad also gathered a small fraction of his soldiers and went up towards the bridge.

Squinting I could see winton on a white steed with thin legs, well that definitely wasn't a war horse.

It took a few seconds to click what was going on.

They were talking one last time before the battle to see if any of them surrendered.

Of course neither of them would considering Winton was a stubborn tantrum throwing bitch and Rikaad just wasn't the type to give up.

What worried me was the big tarp they had brought with them, It worried me even more than all of the trebuchets and catapults.

But I had no idea why.

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NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

#vore story #v0re #safe vore #sfw vore #soft vore #SSTC #lizards writing #g/t story #giant/tiny #g/t vore #extreme cuddling #sstc #magic #Barmea #Kamerasca #elf #mentions of violence #mentions of death

[rainfallbeats]

some sanitization hcs im throwing into the enclosure for yall to eat up in honor of my boy Rome being partially sanitized (also i saw that ask and i wanna throw my hat in the ring now) [note: a lot of my hcs are based off the developer fact that sanitization is based off of zombies, so tw blood mention, panic attack mention, disassociation mention, and generally darker things. also tw linking some stuff to losing a tooth, in case that bothers anyone] - sanitization causes scarring that essentially works like dead areas of your body but like. dead in the way fungi are. dead in the way viruses are - sanitization can't really spread much on its own, it needs to be fed occasionally into the host for it to really take effect - if the area on the host infected by sanitization hasnt been given it in a while, the sanitization will sort of. i want to say dry but its not really doing that? it basically becomes a scar itself, changing back to the hosts ink color over time but never really going away. it'll slowly start travelling to the beak/mouth via bloodstreams and out, basically the host's body filtering the infection out of the system as the body starts to become aware of the infection. - the sanitizer that filters out the mouth is no longer infectious at this stage since the sanitization has already "dried" and scarred, so it's not particularly dangerous - usually, the filtered sanitization will be a very thin coat across the beak that evaporates naturally (them ink-eating microbes are CHOWING DOWN) - however, if the host has more severe scarring, it will build up over time. basically turns into a tooth-bleed situation, its painful and nauseous and disorienting and everything yadda yadda. Rome's actually a solid example of this. the back of his shoulders and his hands are both infected pretty damn badly, and every few months hes spitting up a lot of sanitization like he just lost a tooth. -1/10 experience :( - anyways! fun fact: sanitization now has the funky side-effect of making your ink and subsequent sanitized scarring glow via bioluminescense!! it isnt always active. - hosts can make their entire body glow and unglow (???) if they want to, but they cant make specific parts of their body glow and heightened emotions completely throw the control out the window - with emotions, the host's body will flicker and light up in wonky ways that they cant control, for example flashing when theyre mad/threatened and softly glowing when their content. yes their blushing glows, fuck you - the host's eyes and teeth can also glow!! theyre some of the first things to light up since theyre so close to the brain. i originally did this just to look cool (tbh all of this glowing stuff started like that lol) but some sci-fi science later and boom ive actually got reasoning behind it - and when i say their body glows, i dont mean the whole thing no no no. the parts of their body that light up are: eyes, teeth, blush, tentacles, scarring, and most notably blood veins. god that would be so painful to draw but *god it would look so fucking cool omg* - moving away from that, the host will be hungrier than the average person. particularly, they need more meat than usual and require more carbs to function. for partially-sanitized hosts, this can easily be fixed with some (preferably raw) meat, poultry especially being a good one. however a completely, full-blown sanitized victim would absolutely try eating another person if not supplied with enough food - basically, they fuckin that shit up!!!! EAT EAT EAT - hosts are much more likely to get eyebags, even if they sleep relatively well. its just kinda unavoidable for them. also neat tidbit!! you know how artists will draw scared/unnerved characters with that black shading between their eyes? thats much much more literal for sanitization hosts. insert explanation about this being because theyre partially dead due to sanitization here (part 1 because this got LONG)

i have lots of longer asks like this i need to actually read through so for now ill be posting some of them to look at later

i had a sanitized octo oc so i wanna think abt sanitization stuff for when i rework him

#splatoon #splatoon oc #ask box

[dogt-eeth]

i like to imagine underground is kinda canon in game verse (but like. Greatly Exaggerated. obviously all that stuff Didnt Really Happen) and that someday it'll come out that sonic ran away from home at a rlly young age and eventually Sonia and Manic find out abt and track him down. the idea isnt super fleshed out yet tho. some stuff is still thhe same, like the prophecy is still a thing and their mom has to give them up for. the. Greater Good? so they were sent to an orphanage. something happens that separates sonia and manic from sonic? maybe they all get adopted but sonic isnt having it and he runs away, or he ran away earlier at the orphanage. he'd b rlly young here, only like. Woof, idk, maybe like 7 or 8 at most? he finds ray and mighty and lives with them for a bit and then he finds uncle chuck and lives there with him, picking up from archie sonic's lore. uncle chuck is related to aleena, but sonic doesnt know. he just figures hedgehogs look similar sometimes.

sonia is rlly mad at sonic for leaving them behind, but she wants to find her mom and hates eggman too, so she trains to fight robots n shit and then tracks down sonic when she's older (idk, 17? idk how much older she is than sonic), taking manic with her. manic is chill. i imagine he was pretty young when sonic left, but since he always had sonia taking care of him it never rlly bothered him that much. they get adopted either by humans or by mobians who live on the continents, which is why they wear clothes and have different styled quills. they run into some of sonic's friends who help them track him down, like they meet uncle chuck and maybe mighty n ray? maybe even like. amy and the chaotix. most Definitely the chaotix, thatd b slay actually.

they find sonic again, eventually. manic is excited when he meets tails, sonia's on edge. tails is Also very confused. sonia hates him for reasons he can understand, but ultimately wasnt his fault, which is conflicting when youre 8 yrs old. manic is silly, but tails didnt expect to have Another sibling, let alone gain two at once, and hes mad sonic didnt tell him abt them. tails kinda figured uncle chuck was it. also manic looks a bit too mischievously at tails inventions and it sets him on edge a little. also tails sees sonia and sonic keep leaving to talk in private and he's mad he isnt included becuz its clearly about something important, which usually means some world-ending disaster is about to happen. i dont rlly have much story from there. they go fight eggman or unlock the. power of the. guitar necklace. and have to find their mom and fulfill the prophecy, etc etc etc. basically its an excuse for me to think abt sonia & manic AND modern sonic & tails at the same time.

#writing ideas

[meimi-haneoka]

I honestly have so many feelings after reading the latest chapter. The characters have all grown so much, and they've really been showing their maturity and growth in handling situations (cough Kaito finally came to his senses) Especially Sakura, who I've grown up with in a way too! From the original series till now, finding it really lovely how she can be genuinely happy for Akiho and Kaito, and their decision to travel (comparing to how she reacted when both Eriol and Syaoran were moving away at the end of the salira card arc) and Kaito. Dear Kaito. He finally came to his senses and apologised. Really glad there was no translation errors for the apology, or I would have been MAD. Haha. Anyway, thank you again for the translation post! After reading it and the latest chapter I had a couple questions.

1. What's the price yukito paid? I dont recall it ever being discussed. He mentioned that it was a secret to Sakura and that's that.

2. In chap 42, (parents day) when Syaoran and Kaito fought, Kaito mentioned something about the future that was divined coming to pass. Did we ever get an explanation for that line?

I think overall they tied up the story so well. It's a very sweet ending for them, but definitely a little sad that they decided to travel (though I understand their reasons) I hope that the extra chaper(?) They show us snippets their new life :)

Side note: I was looking back at the clear cards, and realized that the "dreaming card" is actually named "yumemi" as you mentioned in one of your translation posts. And the MCF eventually turned out to be Lillie!! A powerful yumemi. I like how they added this little detail to uncover!!

Hiii, so glad to receive your ask!!! I'm glad to see you've read the final chapter and were quite satisfied with it! I also really enjoyed observing Sakura's growth along the way, it was amazing. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like she's stuck, she's manipulated by everyone (not only Kaito) because everyone is hiding things from her, but most importantly, she doesn't look like she's really trusting her magic capabilities in the beginning and she's quite "lukewarm" about all of it.

And that was exactly the point.

I will have the opportunity to explore this better in one of my posts because I feel like it's a very important matter that needs to be addressed, but I can already say here that the gradual shift from "maybe it's better to not use the key at all" to "I have dreams, I have strange feelings but it's surely all in my head" to "I will try to follow Syaoran's advice and listen to my intuition more" to "I believe in my power and I will decide what to do now" was really amazing to witness. I feel like it's possible to see it more clearly if you re-read the story all at once. Also, Akiho and Kaito's story was absolutely *pivotal* to her emotional growth too, because someone like her, grown up in the blessing of a loving family and surrounded by kind people, touched for the first time what it means to grow up NOT having those things. Her empathy was the absolute protagonist, in this arc, which made her befriend Akiho almost immediately, as if she could feel that the girl needed friendship desperately. But it's also what made her understand the situation and try all of her best efforts to bring Kaito back for her and make both of them happy. She did also a good job at being more assertive with her loved ones, deciding what to do by herself.

Let's go answering to your questions!

1- Hahaha, EVERYONE is asking about that! No, it wasn't revealed! Either they want to keep this as a fun secret forever, or.....it'll be revealed somewhere else! To be honest, I don't even know if Yukito still got that pact with the Tsukimine Shrine. They absolutely remember about it, but since Kaito had undone that with the rewriting of the world (and Sakura gave her friends only their memories back, she couldn't do much about the discrepancies arised - see Akiho's room) my suspicion is that he's back being his normal self, with no actual contract and no price paid.

2- Not exactly, I think this is one of those things we have to infer by ourselves. Also keep in mind that, if I don't recall incorrectly, that phrasing was from the ENG translation. What I understood from the JP is that Yelan simply had a divination about Sakura, and you know how abstract and vague divinations can be....I choose to believe she only saw that Sakura would be distressed/unhappy by a loss of control over her powers (which is indeed the primary reason why Syaoran did what he did, along with Eriol, he didn't know anything about Kaito coming) and not something more specific. Yeah, I have the same feelings as you, about the YunaAki side of the finale! I really, really hope to see them again somewhere else....And I want to see their new life in the extra chapter, yes!! T_T

Yep, well noted! 😉 the Dreaming Card *really* represented Lilie and not Akiho like Sakura had guessed, the "Yumemi" Japanese name sets it in stone! 😉😆

#reply #clear card arc #card captor sakura #ccs spoilers

[neuroticboyfriend]

um, is it okay to bent? if not you can just ignore this

um. there's this person i have an fp ish attachment to and it. kind of sucks

i. just want them to care about me and only me. they have bpd and get fps too, and for some reason that just. breaks me up inside

like. why. why am i not their most important person. why am i not the only person they care about. why are they looking for the approval of other people when im right here. how dare they care about other people. they just vented about something about their current fp and i don't know who it is but. wow here i am dying inside because of you and you're thinking about someone else?

like just. even thinking about the people they liked/loved *in the past* is just. i wish i was the only person ever you know?

but i know that can't happen. i don't want to leave them, i don't want them to leave me, but it hurts. i love them but i hate them. it's too much

i. remember seeing someone post about them following them, and i just. it made me so mad. like they're mine? they're mine.. ugh

they've told me they love me and care about me but it's not enough. i want to be their one and only ever.

there's no winning. i know this is possessive and unhealthy but i also can't make it stop. i don't know what to fucking do

gosh, having an fp is hard enough, i can only imagine that it gets even more difficult when they also have BPD, an an FP no less. that must hurt to the very core, and you don't deserve to go through that at all. i hear you and i want you to know that even when we dont know what to do, it doesnt mean we've lost.

my best friend was my FP for years, to a genuinely dangerous extent, but now I have a (mostly) healthy connection to my partner (of over 3 years now). it's really, really hard to figure out how to handle our emotions and heathily connect with the people we care about. but there is a way for us to win. there is a way for us to be happy and fulfilled, even if we still have things to work on.

it'll be different for all of us, and i believe in you to get there someday, too.

#asks #bpd #borderline #borderline personality disorder #fp #favorite person

[vyrim]

Im semi excited for the full Balders Gate 3 release in a month. I have no issue with the divinity style even if some aspects of it, such as the little amount of interesting stuff that comes from leveling up, arent the most exciting. My major concern is the performance side of things. First couple of hours I was fine, able to explore the beginning of the area with a constant 60 fps. Then it just kept dipping and dipping as I played, until I basically got to the end of the ea content barely able to keep a stable 30. With that teaser video they did of the actual Balders Gate city supposedly being massive and detailed, im worried that my computer wont be able to run it at all, let alone at a non eye straining frame rate. We'll see though I guess.

Minor complaints underneath

TLDR: Wish this game looked shittier but played better. I couldnt give two shits how realistic the models or environment if it was just really well tuned. Probably gonna be one of those "Devs bit off more than they could chew" situations that Ill end up getting angry at around the second half, finish, and never play again.

-Ive always hated the spellcasting system of most tabletops. Cast a spell and its gone, if it missed or failed then sucks to be you. Its not a fun idea, and I wish most of the spells were simply made weaker or placed on a cooldown rather than limited. That was what was cool about divinity, if you figured out some really cool combos then you wouldnt have to resort to resting every couple fights just to use them again. Sucks, especially since most stuff is subject to roll rng, so your big lv 3 spellslot ability means nothing cause dipshit beat the dc by chance. Even worse when alot of spells are channeled, so if your character gets hit even once and then proceeds to fail the concentration check the spell fizzles out. Lame shit.

-THE CAMERA. The camera is atrocious, and I dont know what they did differently compared to Divinity 2, but it is a nightmare to control. If you pan too far from your character theres this, like, invisible leash that sudden kills any further movement. It also hates and form of horizontal movement, which means if your character is really high up it wont go down, and if youre trying to look up a cliff it'll just rub the wall.

-The cast is underwhelming. You have a githyanki which is neat, but otherwise its literally two human guys, a half elf, and a vampire elf. Theres not a single dwarf, halfing, gnome, or even a tiefling in the party, which is super lame. They could have easily had a dwarf with the weird magical item hunger problem, or a tiefling vampire wouldve been funny as hell.

-While the variety of extra actions are cool (I cant count how many people Ive killed by shoving them off cliffs or into lava) but theyre really clunky. The environment has so much detail that shoving or shooting in a direction is at massive risk of being just caught on some stray rock or pillar.

-The AI for npcs is still as dumb as it used to be, had a slave get mad at me for shoving its captor into lava. Guys that have never pathed will suddenly turn around out of the blue, even had one person just t-pose and vanish.

-Most of the magical equipment I got wasnt very interesting. Even the adamantite stuff I got after the big fight in the forge was just a debuff on hit. I want silly shit, I want game breaking shit, I want more stuff like those weird tentacle grenades that pull people in.

-Very buggy, and with how big theyre saying the game is gonna be I dont think its any better on release, probably worse actually. I wouldnt have such issues with it if reloading the game didnt take thirty years to complete. Poor Shadowheart made a jump only to glitch out and plummet several stories mid way.

[fiberglassandflowers]

Tell the people about the letwos

alrighty! fair warning its not good in there theres some not good family behavior in there. under a read more its probably gonna be kinda long

okay so let me set the scene. its like the late 90s/early 2000s. trip just moved with his mom and sister to the suburbs around 6 ish years after their dad died. he's like 9 her sister is 5

pretty much the letwos moved to mary bell because of a funny little thing called laplace's inc. there's some stuff involved with that, but pretty much it's the heaven business and their mom deborah/debbie/deb is the worst and also the most catholic person you've ever met and you can probably fill in the blanks there.

when trip is around 13 he ends up getting really really sick with. something i dont really know what but its not good and its deadly and its not looking good for him. at the awesome age of 14 years old they're still fighting it and she thinks Hey you know what im gonna go on a walk. so he does and omg whats this whos that guy?? anyway its mortimer and it just kinda goes like

"hey youre dying right"

"......yeah?"

"ok what if i told you. that you didn't have to do that if you just shook my hand about it"

"what" "i mean i'll take your soul but thats no biggie right. i mean you'll stay alive you'll live the rest of your natural life" (<- they're like the grim reaper they can do that) "oh. yeah thats no biggie i guess"

[they shake hands]

"shit dude i forgot to tell you. if i take your soul you have to stay here in the town you hate its like this whole thing"

"WHAT."

"you can pull your hand away though i won't get mad"

"i feel like it would be too late now anyway"

"yeah lol"

its like this whole thing about 'would you rather die or live a life you hate' yk. oh also trip wasn't like totally completely hopeless either. he could have maybe lived through it [although the chances were low] and now she has to spend the rest of her life thinking about like, what if she didn't make the deal and he ended up being fine. lol.

okay flash forward its 2008 trip is 16 going on 17 [something something sound of music reference] and cotard [his sister] is 13. gonna go more in depth with this elsewhere but pretty much trip and cotard try running away from mary bell/their shitty ass mom. and like trip can't leave mary bell but technically he's never tried before and maybe if they go with someone it'll work [spoiler: it doesn't]

trip is like, kind of aware that it might not work out for him, but if it didn't she thought cotard at least could leave. and cotard doesn't either because she doesnt want to leave trip behind. there's some other stuff that i haven't mentioned but this attempt def results in some like stricter regulations around their house. they were already realllly sheltered kids [homeschooled, isolated from their peers, generally only taught what their mom wanted them to know] and this just kind of sealed the deal on all that

anyways then trip moves out like two years later and cotard's slightly bitter about that but understanding yk, like good on you for leaving but also now i have to deal with all this alone. cotard moves out as well a few years later and her and trip lose contact even more. she still lives in mary bell she just lives on the complete opposite side of town. i like to think that she gets out a fair amount though, like traveling and stuff [not for very long though since mary bell kind of does that whole moving thing]

honestly i really don't know enough as i should about cotard she's like fully fleshed out in my head but i really can't think of anything specifically about her. like i know she takes a while warming up to people, like quiet at first but gets louder as you get to know her [wow just like how the song goes from being quiet to being loud]. but i need to work on fleshing her out some more i really do

anyways. six years after trip moves out debbie dies and ohhhh haha that's so weird that she died of blood loss when the mayor is a vampire. thats so strange im sure those two things aren't related at all [they are btw vannie killed her].

annnnnd i think thats all? i feel like there's stuff im forgetting and i dont think this was as detailed as i was hoping but its at least the basics

#asks #trip letwo #cotard letwo #debbie letwo #explanations