#also jigsaw is a good movie fuck you

[animangalover-writes]

For once I'd like to go into the jigsquad tag and not see people hating on Logan.

He needs to be there to give us that straight white boy loser energy!!!

He needs to be the tired older brother that's just trying to deal with his younger siblings(apprentices) while helping dad with work(making traps)!!!

#in a group of gay ass killers we need one straight killer to even it out #ive said this before and ill say it again #HE HAS TIRED BIG BROTHER ENERGY #LET HIM JUDGE AND ANNOY THE OTHER APPRENTICES #all the other apprentices act like they hate him #but they all secretly look at him like the big brother they can go to when something is wrong #also jigsaw is a good movie fuck you #spiral too #jigsquad #jigsaw #saw franchise #logan nelson #aml speaks #god i need to write a jigsquad fic for the logan lovers #also i wanna toss william in there #and some other fan added apprentices like Adam and Brit

[palisadewasp]

i finished the first saw movie and HOLY SHIT

#saw spoilers #saw 1 spoilers #that fucking twist at the end had my mouth AGAPE #look. it is my belief that you should always shoot a dead body just in case #if they had done that then who fucking KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED #god DAMN #AUGH!!! #also damn. this fucking jigsaw motherfucker is good at sitting still and pretending to be dead #saw #saw 1 #poggay rambles #adventures of me watching movies #liveblogging saw

[closeted-goth]

Saw X is the best Saw since either Jigsaw or Saw 3, I think.

#lowkey i do fuck with jigsaw #but idk why they rlly tried to push that he's the good guy in this one #they rlly rlly wenr for it #and also loose ends #why are there loose ends in my Saw movie #say what you will about saw but usually there are no loose ends regardless of how many movies it takes to tie them up #but this being a in between one there's kinda no wiggle room to do that bc straight after is saw 3

[cowboycannibalism]

Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins// Saw 2004// Caged Rat, Soul Asylum// The Jig Is Up, Ice Nine Kills// Rats!Rats!Rats!, Deftones// Hatchet, Movements

I know there's heavy association of Adam with the dog motif (which I love) but I swear I've heard Bullet with Butterfly Wings on the radio way too many times during the last month while thinking about Saw for it to be a coincidence

Rats symbolize impoverishment, disease, the lowest of low.

"He's not a cop. He's a bottom feeder, just like you."

Jigsaw calls him angry and apathetic, and we'll be honest here, he is on the surface. He calls his apartment a shithole, he knows his job is shitty but it keeps him fed, and he's just dragging himself through life because he's pretty much already convinced himself this is as good as its going to get.

But here's the other thing about rats: they will do anything to try to survive. Sometimes, that means just doing what they've been conditioned to do by the world around them.

Have you ever seen a rat backed into a corner? or stuck in a trap? they will scream and thrash violently to try and free themselves.

From the moment he wakes up in the tub, Adam is moving. Throughout the movie, he has a hard time staying still, trying to escape, trying to survive. He is loud and frantic. Even though he is pessimistic about life, he wants to live.

also, to swing back around to the Smashing Pumpkins lyrics in particular, I thought a lot about how Adam mentions his ex, thinking he was "too angry." If you've dug into that song a little, it's interpreted in a lot of ways but a common one is oppression and being stuck in a situation/world where you're aware of escape but incapable of it. Adam knows he should appreciate life more, but what's the point when he lives the way that he does and nothing seems to ever get better? Anger feels like the only option and honestly sometimes it is.

(not to get too political or whatever, but if we never get angry enough to do anything, nothing will ever change. Don't let anyone tell you that emotions don't belong in politics/social issues because that's a fucking stupid take.)

#I dont know if im making any sense but heres this #also i wrote all this at 3am so if it sounds really stupid its fine #adam stanheight #adam faulkner stanheight #horror #saw franchise #saw 2004 #jigsaw #the jig is up.game over #chainshipping #kinda #lyrical web weaving

[popironrye]

The Lost Boys

Leisure Headcanons

💋 David 💋

Is a skilled fire arm shooter. (Loves the cowboy aesthetic)

Has his own gun hidden in the cave.

Doesn't get the chance too often, but will ride a horse when the chance arises.

Likes wood carving. Mostly non specific whittling into basic shapes or animals. It helps him relax.

Movie nut! When the boys go the Max's store to fool around, David makes sure to tuck a movie or two that catches his eye in his coat. Tends to watch them alone, all the questions from Paul would just grate on his nerves too much.

I imagine David would be like REALLY good at origami for no particular reason. He doesn't even try, just once the boys do it just because and he's just the best at it.

I don't know if vampires can emerge in water in the lost boys lore, but if they can David loves to swim. Chilling in water clears his mind.

💀 Dwayne 💀

Skater boi! Does a lot of sick tricks, but when you can levitate it's less impressive. XD

Doesn't care for guns, but likes archery. Hammers his own arrow heads. Dwayne and David like to pick a spot in the woods to shoot make shift targets.

A real book worm. Will spend a lot of time just silently reading for hours.

Takes up knitting from time to time. He prefers hand knitted blankets and throws rather then the store ones.

Likes to make jewelry. Made his own necklace.

Enjoys all types of puzzles. Cross word, jigsaw, and brain teasers.

Can sew and offers to sew up holes made in all the clothes the boys decide not to get new ones.

🌿 Paul 🌿

Can play the guitar.

Also likes to sing, and is pretty good at it. Wanted to start a band, but the other boys weren't up for it.

Has the biggest music collection and is always hogging the tabletop/cassette/cd player.

Amateur photography. Just likes to take photos randomly. Some are really artsy.

Got really into tie dye for a while. Although he might have just been high.

When he wants to relax, Paul really likes to stargaze. Laying outside the cave looking at the sky and hearing the waves of the ocean just makes him feel at peace.

When David isn't using the tv monitor, Paul enjoys quite a few video games. He also likes to take on the arcade and carnival games at the boardwalk.

🪶 Marko 🪶

Aside from pigeons, Marko will try to domesticate a number of animals to the cave, including stray dogs, cats, deer, badgers, squirrel, foxes, bats, and even a black bear once.

He did in fact not domesticate a black bear, but he did wrestle one.

He does his own patchwork on his jacket.

Like David, he likes to sculpt into wood, but he usually carves patterns and landscapes into more grand pieces.

He's also a skilled painter. Mostly he'll paint murals on sections of the cave David says is ok for him to paint on.

He collects sea shells on the beach.

He'll style the others hair. Especially David who he'll cut and dye in the way he likes best.

🔥Pack Activities🔥

Dart throwing. The bigger the target the better. David and Dwyane are very competitive at this one specifically.

Rollerblading. Put wheels on shoes, what more can you want?

Listening to music. The boys have very wide music tastes and sometimes they cross over and they all like the same stuff. They take turns around the player of their choice to just smoke, drink, and listen to the sounds of the music plays.

Card games. Specifically poker when they're all together. They make things more interesting when they make bets.

And of course motocycle cruising and board walk loitering.

Something that always strikes me with vampires in fiction and indeed with any immortal creature with the high and emotional intelligence of humans. IMMORTALITY IS FUCKING BORING!

I mean, think about it. Imagine you're given all the free time in the world with very little responsibility with no fear of getting sick or tired allowed to do pretty much whatever you want. What would you do? Cause I would go stir crazy. So I came up with these dumb little head canons on how I image the boys specifically would pass the time in their little vampire lives that doesn't revolve around murdering and feeding off of people.

Of course cruising on their bikes come to mind. And there's a couple in the movie we get to see like Dwayne's skateboarding and Marko's fondness for pigeons but I wanted to throw more possibilities out there. :3

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #david tlb #david the lost boys #dwayne tlb #dwayne the lost boys #paul tlb #paul the lost boys #marko tlb #marko the lost boys #tlb headcanons #my headcanons #headcanon #hc #share your thoughts

[anomaly-hivemind]

Their Toy || No. 3 w/Michael Myers, Ghostface, Jason Voorhees x Fem!Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: bukkake, Dubcon, rough sex, degradation, mask kink, overstimulation, creampie, circle jerk,triple penetration, double penetration in two holes?, all holes filled, large cock, size kink, multiple orgasms,fingering, forced orgasms, deepthroating, foursome/f/m/m/m, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, squirting ,face fucking,rough oral sex, choking,gangbang, slight stalking, Voyeurism, come as lube, hair pulling

Word Count: 3358

Y/N was walking home from work when she got a call from her friend, They practically begged her to come. She didn’t particularly want to as she was looking forward to binge watching her favorite show again but she eventually caved. What was the worst a few hours out on a Friday night could do?

A Lot.

A lot worse…or is this better?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N flopped on the bed and let out a deep sigh,

“Come on Y/N get the hell up. You promised yourself no outside clothes on the bed.” She spoke to herself before reluctantly getting up and heading to the bathroom. Stripping from her work clothes she messily folded them and dropped them in the basket before steppin into the steamy shower.

You head to their house, deciding to walk since it wasn’t that far away and gas is too high to be driving down the street. Plus it's a nice autumn day full of people making sure their halloween decorations were ready for the night.

A chill ran down your spine as you got closer to the door of your friend's house. Knocking on the door quickly the door swings open and the bright smile of your friend greets you and pulls you inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Playing a few aggressively competitive games of uno, a horror movie marathon and a shit ton of snacks and fast food later. You check the time it was mid-eleven. You really didn't mean to stay over this long but oh well. You stand up and look at your friend.

“I think it's time I should head back home. Thanks for all the snacks and shit.” you walked back to the door to head back home. You walked back to your home the same way you took before, but the air felt thicker and a chill fell down your back. It felt like you were being watched.

You ignored the feeling, walking in the crisp nighttime air. You clutched your jacket closer to your body and you were starting to regret not driving your car.

Maybe I should just call an uber? No no that's too much money, besides it's only a five minute walk, you thought to yourself. You get to your home after a while and unlock…lock. You forgot to lock your door before leaving earlier… well shit it was a careless mistake even though you were sure you locked it.

You open the door and are greeted with the items of your hope nothing seemed missing. That's good right, nothing was stolen so that means you can rest easy.

You were watching a Halloween movie on your TV when your phone rang, it was an unknown number and you decided to pick it up.

“Hello y/n… you like scary movies?” a deep raspy voice spoke on the other line, they also sounded a bit out of breath.

‘Ah so the prank calls are starting’ you thought to yourself.

‘This must be my friend since they knew my name right.’

“Sure I like scary movies, hell I'm watching one right now.” you tell the voice then roll your eyes.

“Wanna play a game.” The voice asked.

“Ok jigsaw.” you responded. The voice didn't say anything for a minute or so before speaking.

“How about you answer this then smartass. If you locked your door before your friend's house, how come it was unlocked when you got back.” The voice taunted with a sinister tone, you must have pissed him off.

“I must have forgotten… wait, how did you know that?”

“Wrong answer doll, try again” a loud bang came from down the hall. Oh shit… you were going to die.

“Are… you in my house?” You didn't want to ask but you had to know.

“Ding ding ding and I brought friends to join the fun.”

Another loud bang happened but this time it was a bit closer.You jump and turn to the source of the sound. You grab the closest thing next to you… which happened to be a fork from the food you were eating.

You look down to grab your phone so you can call the cops but a gloved hand grips your wrist in a tight hold. Your heart stops and drops to your ass in fear. You try to pull away but the masked man only pulls you closer.

“You can't leave just yet, bitch, the fun is just starting.” The man with the ghost mask spoke in a harsh tone. You panic looking around your living room only to almost give yourself whiplash when your eyes meet with a much larger man getting closer. One with a spirit halloween looking mask and the with some old hockey mask.

“Ohshitohshit I’m gonna die,” you thought to yourself as the three surrounded you. Closing the circle around you the man with the ghost mask chuckled.

“How rude of me. These beasts are called Jason and Michael and you can call me ghostface or…whatever that sweet tongue of yours can scream." Ghostface leaned closer as he spoke.

“So you are ready to play a game.” he chuckled and grabbed at your chin, pulling you downwards and forcing you to your knees in the middle of this makeshift circle. The two silent behemoths looked even more dangerous and intimidating than before. Then this ghostface guy was something else but all unpredictable. Yet a small, tiny, itty-bitty part in the deep dark depths of yourself, you found yourself getting turned on.

Michael pulled out a big ass knife that made your heart stop

‘I’m gonna die! Gonna fucking die! This is no time to be horny, I’m gonna fucking die!’ You thought as he brought the knife closer to your skin. You closed your eyes quickly as you expected to feel a shape attack on your skin; an aggressively hot pain to invade your senses, yet none of that happens. You open your eyes and look at what just occurred. Instead you get a quick wave of air as your shirt and bra gets cut open.

Rest in peace to your good comfy bra.

Your arms came up to shield your breasts but it didn’t do much to help. You were frozen in fear, you tried to speak but the words were caught in your throat.

Jason grabs you by the upper neck and makes you look up at them. You let out a shaky breath as your mind goes in overdrive, he has such big hands. Damn these fingers are thick… buuut I‘m about to get choked to death by them so less hot. Jason used his other hand and patted his waist, your eyes following the sound. OH SHIT… Holy SHIT he's hard… HE’S HARD and he’s fucking HUGE. Your eyes widen and your mouth starts to feel uncomfortably dry.

“If you're gonna sit there with your mouth open, you could put it to good use,” Ghostface said with a dark chuckle and he shoves you into Jason’s thighs, causing the man to groan almost silently.

The faint sound of his heavy breath behind the mask was surely doing something to you. He takes off his jacket and lets it drop to the floor, leaving him in a black tight-fitting undershirt. It showed off his muscles which only makes him look bigger and hotter.

Your heart feels like it stops as you watch him start to unzip his trousers. Your heart beating in your ears and the faint throbbing in…lower places was completely distracting. I try to shuffle away from him only to get grabbed by the hair by Michael and hold you in place.

“Where did you think you were going slut? I know you want this,” Ghostface grunted the words as he took off his black hoodie revealing his slightly toned body. Probably from all the murdering he does but damn.

Jason pulled his thick girth from his boxers and stroked it with his hand. From his short steps forward his monster meat was practically in your face, you could see each prominent vein on his shaft and how heavy it looked. He rubbed the tip of his against your closed lips, only to have your lips pried open by Ghostface pulling your chin down.

Jason’s dick slipped into your mouth,and your tastebuds greeted with the flavors of his precum.

“No biting… bad girls get punished,” he flashed his knife at you before placing it away.

“Wouldn't want that now would you… or maybe a whore like you would like that mhm.” he tilted his head and you could tell by his tone of voice that he was smirking behind that creepy yet oddly attractive looking mask of his.

But all of that was in the back of your mind when there was a dick in your mouth. Pushing deep into your mouth, hitting into your throat and making you gag a bit. Your eyes watered as you closed them for a moment, and you felt one of his hands snake into your hair. He slowly started to thrust into your mouth and you couldn't help but suck around him in order to keep your saliva from falling down your chin or choking on your own spit.

You slip out of your ripped shirt and bra and let it drop onto the ground. You soon hear the disheveled sound of shuffling fabrics and zippers coming undone to your right and left. Michael and ghostface were clearly enjoying this display and the fact that they're watching me get fucked in the mouth by their friend was hot.

“I've gone nuts…that’s the only way to explain the fact that it feels like my pussy has a heartbeat. I mean like damn it’s pounding like a herd of elephants,” You think to yourself as your tongue swirls around Jason's thick meaty cock. He was most definitely touching that little dangly thing that swings in the back of your throat.

His size was making your jaw hurt and his deep thrust was triggering your gag reflex. You could feel the veins of his cock pulse against your tongue. He was getting ready to bust a load down your throat, it was easy to tell based on the way his head had fallen back with his breath shaky behind the hockey mask and even with how fast and unrhythmic his pace had gotten.

Jason lets out an almost silent moan as his hot seed paints the inside of your mouth. He doesnt pull out until most of his cum has made its way down your throat. Your eyes widen as you see how fast he gets hard again.

‘What kind of refraction time is this shit,” you think to yourself with an anxious face.

“Yeah you better slurp down every drop like a good little slut.” Ghostface lifts you off your knees and you stand with shaky legs. They cut into your pants and underwear with a knife, leaving you completely naked in front of three masked serial killers.Even though you couldn’t see any of their faces you can feel the hungry stares that were definitely giving your bare form.

They make you get back on your knees in the center of them. They all looked so intimidating yet hot, from being on your knees and looking up at him. They all look painfully erect and huge, that’s scary. The three all had their dicks in hand. You get grabbed by the neck by Michael as he holds you in place.

“Looks like Michael is getting impatient. Can’t say I blame him.” he let out a whistle, and he spoke in a cheeky and overly playful voice.

You can tell that Michael’s dick was slightly curved from the way he slapped it on your face. It was heavy enough for you to feel like you were being patted on the face. He was stroking his fat cock against the side of your face as the tip rubbed on your lips. His precum was simmering on your skin.

Ghostface moved closer as you got a look of him. He was shorter than the other two but he was still very much packing. He was lacklusterly rubbing his cock and you see the glint to it. Oh my fucking oh, your eyes widen for a second as you look at his dick. Ghostface has four rows of frenum piercings along the bottom of his shaft. It almost makes your mouth water.

“Damn these slashers are really about to fuck my shit up, and its hot as fuck.” you thought to yourself as they all probably...most likely staring down at your naked body. They were all jerking off above you, your fingers twitched and your thighs rubbed together.

“Fucking hell, it almost looks like your enjoying all this… Are ya are ya.?” Ghostface poked your cheek as he taunted you with a laugh.

You stop yourself from nodding your head at his taunt, even if you wanted to; you just didn't want to admit that aloud or to any of them right now.

“It's ok our little toy, we're not gonna break ya too bad.“ He flicked your titty then giggled.

Michael’s hand squeezes your neck and your hand was quick to go over his. Your eyes started to water and look at the whitish gray mask, it was hard to see him through the black socket but the tears were not helping.

Jason pulls you up to stand, his hands firmly on your waist and the grip around your neck loosens. Myers’ hand moves to gripping your hair instead. You let out a weak whine as you take in air.

“Now lets see what us guys are gonna be working with” Ghostface’s warm gloved hand slides between your legs. His fingers collected your arousal and he played with the sticky wetness.

“Damn you're like a fucking faucet down here, I knew I picked the right slut.” He groaned as his hand went back to your mound, your thighs shut around his hand as you held back a moan. His fingers rubbed firmly at your folds and pinched your clit. You let out a shaky whimper and he chuckled.

You shiver as he keeps fingering you teasingly slow, he thrusted his fingers in you. The tip of his finger felt ever so close to touching your g-spot. The feeling was making your walls flutter around his digits. Michael and Jason were jerking off, watching Ghostface’s expert fingers tipping you over the edge. Your moans escape you as you start to tip over climax, your legs start to quiver. You cum with a groan and then he pulls out of you slowly.

“You're starting to become one of my favorite toys, all the weeks of watching this cute ass finally starting to pay off.” he used his hand covered in your arousal to stroke his abandoned cock. You were a bit in a daze from your climax that you didn't even notice that you were placed back on the ground of your living room.

The three men were materbating over you, and you couldn't help but watch them intently. They cum one after the other onto your naked body; their loads falling onto your tits,face, and thighs. It was hot and you wanted more of it. You lick up the bit that was closest to your mouth, forgetting the situation for a moment.

“Look at you acting like a little whore.”Ghostface bends you over your coffee table. His pierced dick slides over your lower lips. The feeling of his piercing makes you shiver, and his tip starts to get covered in your juices.

He pushes into you with a surprising gentleness that makes you squirm. Arching your back as you almost cum again from just him bottoming you out into you.

Jason held your hand over his dick and was using it to stroke himself. Michael shoves his cock into your mouth, you gag around the length and thick girth. He wasn't giving you any time to breath as he started to fuck getting the back of your throat. His hand was over your throat making you close around his shaft and made it harder for her to breathe.

Ghostface started to thrust into you, his speed matching up with Michael. They were rocking you back and forth between them and all you could hear past your muffled choking was the slaps of skin on skin. The short groans from ghostface or the heavy breaths from Jason and Micheal.

These men really got you like a fleshlight right now… it was only a side effect that you get to cum so much.

You were their toy after all and they were going to use you the way they wanted. Ghostface had your thighs pressed together and locked in his arm as he pounded into you without remorse. It's probably more remorse than what they give to other people so you can’t complain too much. Jason cums into your hand with a faint groan, he stepped back until he became hard again. He moves over to Ghostface and taps his shoulder. The shorter man nods and moves you, much to Michael’s annoyance, the man's plan to cum down your throat fails and he ends up spilling all over your face instead.

“Sorry buddy.” Ghostface snickers.

The men shuffled around you, bending you over in a way that pleases them. Your legs were shaking and your pussy fluttered with emptiness.

Jason starts to push his cock into you ass and you hold back a scream, if he felt big in your mouth her was fucking huge in your ass. He made you feel like you were going to be torn in half. Michael went for your dripping cunt and bottoms out into you. These two men were thrusting into you at opposite times and it all felt like two much.

“Y-you're gonna kill me!” you cry out with a choked moan, it was all so much all at once and none of them seemed like they were going to stop.

“Far from that, we might just keep you, then you can be our bitch whenever we want you to be.” he slides into your mouth and you can taste yourself. He yanked your hair a bit, your walls clenched, they were hitting all your spots relentlessly. You cum again with a muffled squeal, you feel warm liquid run down your trembling legs.

“Who would have thought that you were a squirter? Haven't seen you do that before even when you pleasured yourself” he groaned as your tongue rubbed his tip. You wanted to ask him about his comment, or with the shock that you could squirt in the first place.

They all reached their climax coming inside you, when they pull out their seed starts to pool out of you. You were already covered in their cum. When ghostface pulls out of your mouth you speak in a horse tone.

“So you've been watching me for how long…?” you tried to sound confident even though you were in a daze from borderline overstimulation.

“Oh that it's been a month now, and you were none the wiser.” he pats your head. They drop you on the ground and you look down at your cum covered self.

“You're joking right?” you knew he wasn't joking.

“You already know the answer to that… Now say cheese.” you look up just in time to get the blunt of a flash from a camera. You look like a deer in headlights. The three men got dressed and ghostface showed them the picture he took of you in such a compromising position.

“We’ll be back, little toy.” Then they vanished, leaving you with sore legs and wanting more.

#horror #slashers #horror fanfic #slasher fanfic #michael meyers #ghostface #jason #jason voorhees #jason voorhes x reader #jason vorhees smut #michael meyers smut #michael meyers x reader #ghostface fanfiction #ghostface smut #ghostface x reader #ghostface kinktober #jason kinktober #michael meyera kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #anomaly hivemind #slasher smut #scream fanfic #halloween fanfic #friday the 13th fanfic #scream #halloween #friday the 13th

[visceravalentines]

a goddamn break

that's right boys it's a saw fic from me, the clown

2.5k words. neat n tidy little character study of my favorite guys in loathe with each other. no content warnings. not explicitly coffinshipping but anything's coffinshipping if you glare at it long enough. I fucked with the timeline of saw iv to make this make sense but literally time isn't real especially in these movies. hope you like it!!

Peter Strahm tells his doctor he doesn’t smoke, and if he were hooked up to a polygraph, it would read as true.

That’s because he knows how to lie in a way that makes the words fact, at least in that moment and the one that comes after. It’s because he quit in college, cold turkey, the day after he got his diploma, and the doc doesn’t ask if he used to smoke.

It’s also because the battered pack of Camels he keeps in the pocket of his suit jacket doesn’t count. That’s for emergencies only.

Today constitutes an emergency. The last two weeks have been a goddamn emergency. Every waking moment since he set foot in the Metropolitan Police Department has been nothing but dead ends and incompetence. Today is one of a long string of days he’d rather fast-forward through to get to the good part, the part where he wins.

He’s never had a liaison turn casualty before. Detective Kerry had a good head on her shoulders, knew which way was up. She’d reached out to the FBI for help on the Jigsaw case, not the other way around. That was the mark of a good cop. One who knew when they were out of their element.

Strahm isn’t ready to admit he’s out of his element. Not yet. Because he isn’t.

He just needs a smoke.

His jacket is slumped over the back of his garbage office chair in the shitty little temporary office he shares with Perez. She clocks him rifling through the pockets, raises a sympathetic eyebrow.

“Don’t,” he warns before she can open her mouth.

She puts her hands up like she’s negotiating with a terrorist. “I wasn’t.”

“You were.”

“It’s been a rough couple of weeks,” she concedes.

“Understatement.” Strahm shoves a sigh out through his nose. “I wanna talk to Jill Tuck again.”

“I know you do.”

Her tone borders on consolation. Strahm shoots her a look. “She’s the key, Perez.”

“She’s a big shiny window and you’re a bird flying at top speed,” she replies. “There are other avenues.”

Strahm shakes his head, taps the pack of Camels against his palm. “I wanna talk to her again.”

Perez rolls her eyes, mutters a curse, and he feels a surge of pride. He's rubbing off on her. “I’ll bring her in.”

“Has forensics pulled their heads out of their collective asses yet, or is that too much to ask for in this shithole precinct?”

Perez smiles beatifically. “I’d rather not answer that.”

Strahm makes a sound like a shoe in a dryer. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Take fifteen.”

He grumbles something unintelligible even to himself and stalks out.

There’s a door to the alleyway near the men’s room. Strahm knows this because the two aren’t clearly labeled and he’s gone through the wrong one twice. As he turns down the hall he sees that someone has propped open the external door with a rock to keep it from locking behind them, probably some other idiot chipping away at their respiratory health.

He almost reconsiders, almost turns around to find his way to the front of the building. But that’s stupid. He can stomach five minutes five feet away from another person.

Strahm pushes his way through the door, descends the stairs to his left, rounds the banister to the right, and stops cold.

Hoffman turns that dead-eyed stare on him, blows a lungful of smoke through those Hollywood housewife lips. “Agent Strahm,” he says in a monotone that conveys the most mild surprise conceivable.

Strahm considers walking back in the building for five whole seconds. He has no qualms with casual incivility. But he sees Hoffman doing the same math, catches the twitch of a smirk that may as well be a gauntlet thrown at his feet.

Peter Strahm is many things, but never a coward.

He slouches over begrudgingly, finds a section of wall, gives Hoffman a noncommittal grimace and dares to hope, just for a moment. It would be possible for this interaction to pass in silence, incredibly possible. Painless, even.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Hoffman remarks, and Strahm grinds his teeth.

“I don’t.” He digs in his pocket for his ancient Bic lighter. He picked it up at a gas station in St. Louis years ago, never saw the need for an upgrade. Bic makes quality products.

Hoffman takes a drag, watches him pull a cigarette from the pack. “My mistake,” he says in the back of his throat. Smoke wafts loose from his mouth.

Strahm strikes the lighter once, twice, thrice. It sparks, but no flame except a flash of white-hot irritation.

He pictures Perez telling him to picture a beach.

He strikes it six more times even though he knows it’s not going to work, tries to count to ten in his head and fizzles out around four, remembers now the last time he lit up in Baltimore and thought to himself I better fill ‘er up.

He did not, of course, do that. Unfortunately.

Strahm straightens his head and looks hard at the brick wall across the alley and waits for it. He can feel Hoffman savoring the moment, knows exactly the sanctimonious look that’s plastered on the detective’s smug fucking face.

If he makes him ask for it, on his sainted mother’s grave, Strahm will shoot him.

Hoffman exhales serenely. “Need a light?”

Somehow that is worse.

Strahm keeps the cigarette pressed between his lips and his eyes straight ahead and holds out his hand to the right. He’ll be goddamned if he lets Hoffman light it for him. He feels the brush of the detective’s fingers on his palm and the familiar weight of a Zippo, uncomfortably warm from Hoffman's pocket.

When he flips it open he sees an engraving, worn down by what appears to be the frequent back-and-forth rub of a thumb across the letters. Saint Mark. He doesn't want to know.

Strahm lights up and hands the Zippo back to Hoffman like it might carry some disease. He fills his lungs with a bittersweet buzz and lets his head drop back, blows smoke to the sky. “Thanks,” he mutters.

“Anything to help the FBI,” Hoffman replies, and Strahm really can’t tell whether or not he’s trying to be more punchable than he already is.

He inhales again and holds it as long as he can. Enough time has passed since the last time he smoked that it goes right to his head, makes his brain hum behind his eyes. He feels better immediately. The smell always whisks him back to his undergrad days, to the stairwell outside the campus library where he used to take study breaks. Cold night, dark clouds, sodium street lamps. A certainty about himself and the future. A support structure. Simpler times.

“Made any progress with Jill Tuck?”

His pleasant memory gets shredded like paper through Hoffman's weird little teeth and he’s back in an alleyway that reeks of trash and vice, stomach acid creeping up his esophagus. Strahm taps his finger, watches flecks of ash spiral down and disappear near his shoe. “What do you think?”

Hoffman takes a thoughtful drag like he’s never heard of a rhetorical question. “She's a deeply troubled woman.”

“Great insight,” Strahm snaps, “really valuable stuff there, detective. Why am I even here?”

“I just figured with your expertise, you might be more successful than me.” Hoffman wears a look of such mock deference Strahm wants to gag. “I'm sure whatever training you get at the FBI is unmatched.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” Strahm doesn't want to play this game, not in this city, not this time. “Look, I know you don't want me here. I know I stepped on your toes at Detective Kerry’s crime scene. That's my job. I come in and stomp around until something shakes loose.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly. Please don't mistake me for someone who intends to make your role in this harder than it needs to be.”

There's something besides cigarette smoke behind the words, something weighty. Something that gets Strahm to look directly at the detective for the first time.

Hoffman looks back, unblinking, and Strahm thinks of a shark behind glass. He thinks about perspective and how an object seems motionless when it's coming straight at you. He thinks all this too fast to parse meaning, but his instincts are good, have always been good, and the hair on the back of his neck wants to stand up.

“I think you’re a good cop, Hoffman,” he says carefully. He’s swimming slow back to shore. “I think your department has been sacrificed on the altar of obsession one by one and you’re still here.” No splash, no wake. “Whatever else that means, it means you’re smart.”

Hoffman blows smoke and gives Strahm a look of gratitude so patronizing it makes his skin crawl. “I appreciate that, Agent Strahm. The past several months have been…taxing.”

The past several minutes have been taxing, but Strahm keeps that to himself. He can't shake the feeling that something big just passed him beneath the surface, barely missed him.

“What’s your instinct?” Hoffman asks. “How much do you think Jill knows?”

Strahm scoffs. “Plenty. Enough to write a trashy memoir and disappear from the public eye if she really wanted to. But she hasn't. Why?”

“Because she's involved. Anything she says could incriminate her.”

“No shit.” Strahm sucks on smoke. “And no offense, detective, but I've seen those interrogation tapes. You're too fucking soft on her. You want juice, you gotta squeeze.”

“With all due respect, I'd like to see you try.”

Strahm bristles, shoots him a glare. “Is that a fucking challenge? You think I'm gonna meet my match in Jill fucking Tuck?”

“You misunderstand me, Agent Strahm.” Those eyes glitter with something like mirth. “I mean I truly would like to see you try. Jill Tuck has been a hurdle since the start of all this. Like it or not, we're all players in this game. It's about time she gets pulled off the sidelines.”

Strahm examines him with interest. “You make it sound personal.”

Hoffman breaks eye contact, settles his gaze on some invisible point down the alley. A look of remorse slides over his face like a shadow over the sun. “At this point, how could it not be?”

Whatever else might be going on here, even Strahm has to concede that’s a reasonable response. His mind conjures up memories of closed-casket funerals past and he thinks of his colleagues back at the home office. He thinks of Perez. He clenches his jaw, remembers he’s supposed to be relaxing, takes a hard drag and is rewarded with a wave of nausea.

Hoffman is talking again. “Have you had a chance to look through the case files for the last three Jigsaw games? I think there were ten victims total. If you're right and John Kramer's health has kept him from hands-on involvement, maybe there might be something we missed, something–”

Strahm holds up a hand and exhales around his teeth. “Can we not do this? I just–I need a break from this Jigsaw bullshit. For like thirty seconds.”

“Sure thing,” Hoffman says amicably. He stubs his cigarette out on the wall, leans back against the brick, purses his lips. For a few blessed seconds Strahm thinks he might let the silence stand, or even better–leave. But then: “Got any plans this weekend?”

Strahm pounds his closed fist back against the wall with a little more force than he means to, closes his eyes, chews on a sigh. “No,” he says loudly with what he hopes is sufficient finality.

“Do you fish?”

“Do I what?”

“Fish. Go fishing?”

Strahm groans. “No, detective, no, I don’t fish. I spend enough time sitting waiting for lower life forms to take the bait in my professional life, thank you very much.”

Hoffman lets out what might be a laugh. “Fair enough. You strike me as more of a hunter anyway.”

“Never been,” Strahm says dismissively. This is a lie. He knows the woods of rural Vermont blind. The first time he shot a gun he was seven and the kick knocked him flat on his ass.

“I like to fish. Head down south when I can find the time. You ever been to Bass River?”

Strahm grunts, gives up, slumps against the wall mirroring Hoffman’s posture. “No.”

“Beautiful country. When this is all over, you and Special Agent Perez oughta make the drive down. Worth the detour.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Where are you and Perez staying in town? Maybe I can make some local recommendations, help you make the best of your time here.”

Alarm bells again. Something in the water. Something coming at him. “I don’t know,” Strahm deflects, “some place downtown. Old as fuck. No water pressure.”

Hoffman chuckles. “Sounds like my last apartment.”

“Yeah, you guys have a real issue with property values up here.” Strahm examines his cigarette, figures he can get one more pull off it. “Have you considered razing all the abandoned buildings so Jigsaw runs out of chessboards?”

Something like a smile twists Hoffman’s lips. “Arson, special agent?”

Strahm flicks his filter across the alley. “Whatever works.”

“Litter, too,” Hoffman observes.

Strahm rolls his eyes so hard his neck kinks. “This has been fun, but I’d better start combing through the four thousand page report your medical examiner handed me this morning. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” He stands up straight, winces at the tweak in his back, stretches his arms behind him.

“See you around,” Hoffman says.

Strahm makes it halfway up the stairs to the landing before Hoffman calls after him. He almost ignores him, thinks better of it. Gritting his teeth, he leans over the railing. “Yes, detective?”

Hoffman regards him coolly, his gaze like a blunt steel blade. “I'm sure it goes without saying, but…be careful who you trust. If there is an accomplice, we ought to proceed with caution.”

Strahm resists the urge to sneer. “No disrespect to your department, but I’m here because I’m competent. Some chemo-addled freak and his band of misfit toys? I’m not exactly shaking in my boots.”

He could swear Hoffman smiles, just for a second. A flash of teeth that doesn’t reach the eyes. “I understand. It’s just I would hate to see you…how did you say it?” He bites his lip thoughtfully. “Sacrificed.”

Strahm decides, once and for all, that Mark Hoffman is spooky.

“I appreciate your concern.”

He flings the door open and ducks inside without waiting for a reply.

For the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, Strahm submerges himself in the cold, clinical mire of half a dozen autopsy reports. In the back of his mind, behind the descriptions of catastrophic injury inflicted on the human body, he is elbow-deep in a dissection of his own.

He replays the conversation in his head again and again like a microcassette tape, trying to pinpoint the moment when Hoffman shifted in his estimation. He tries to reconcile fact and gut feeling and is left wanting from every angle. The thing about fishing–you only ever see what takes the bait. What passes it by lives on unknown.

All the while, from the time he shuts himself in his office to the moment his head hits the hotel pillow, Strahm tries to shake the feeling he's being watched.

He doesn't succeed.

#peter strahm #mark hoffman #peter strahm fanfiction #mark hoffman fanfiction #saw fanfiction #literally so jittery about posting this sksnfjdndks it's not even x reader!! it's just new and scary!!! #it was so much fun to write tho. oh google docs we're really in it now

[1percentcharge]

fine ill write film thoughts at 2am(!) because i can't sleep anyway

i liked how cecelia paralleled john. it struck me as necessary because of how john was framed as the protagonist (though not necessarily hero) of this movie, so it made sense to have an antagonist. it also fit w how Gabi paralleled Amanda. I was sad about and pretty shocked by Gabi's death (that post about liking two characters that are opposed was actually about cecelia and her).

Obviously, cecelia couldn't kill john or amanda because timeline. so i think that kept her from ever fully rivalling jigsaw. but she did strike me as more intelligent than some other saw characters (not the highest bar?) because of things like the intestines as rope. Too bad john's omnipotent.

i love how cecelia's test was smth that would force her to betray Parker and as far as i could tell she really didn't GAF bc she's just crazy. I think that's great. Parker sucks too so good riddance. But can you imagine her in the bathroom trap lmao? no moral issues she'd kill adam immediately.

I don't think she deserved to survive but by the end i would've been pissed if parker had killed her instead. It also goes to show how fucked up John's worldview is: someone like valentina or matteo, who obviously also did something bad but were less privileged and less responsible (as well as being mere seconds from winning), "didn't have the will to live," but cecelia, a ruthless murderer at the heart of the scam, can live because she "won" her game. like... john's philosophy is bullshit, that's the point.

#saw x #saw x spoilers

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

idk nothing about saw

PLEASE EXPLAIN THE LORE I WANT TO UNDERSTAND /nf

*cracks knuckles* buckle up

There is a guy named John Kramer who’s wife, Jill Tuck (amazing character btw. didn’t deserve to die), has a miscarriage. He is then like “the guy who caused my ex wife’s miscarriage doesn’t appreciate life” so he traps and kills him. Then he does this again a few more times until someone survives and he’s like “see? trapping people is good actually. be my apprentice.” and the survivor, Amanda Young, is like “fuck yeah. thanks for making me cut open a guy. so happy to be alive now.”

Then there’s the bathroom trap in the original Saw and a character named Adam Stanheight is unfairly left to die even though he won his test, solely so the other guy, Lawrence Gordon (who technically LOST the test) could become John’s apprentice bc he’s a doctor. So Lawrence escapes and John is like “be my apprentice” and Lawrence is like “fuck yeah. thanks for kidnapping my wife and kids and making me saw my foot off. so happy to be alive now.”

So there’s also this guy named Hoffman (meanie stupid head) who actually didn’t even have to do anything. Some dude killed his sister so he killed the dude back and blamed it on the Jigsaw killer and John was like “wtf I didn’t do this.” So John stabs Hoffman in a public elevator with a needle and is like “your blade fucking sucks and also killing is bad. i would know bc i’m a killer.” Then he pretends to shoot him but it was actually just a little prank and John is like “be my apprentice” and Hoffman is like “i’m literally a homicide detective. but sure ok 👍”

So then it turns out Amanda Young was actually there with the dude that caused Jill’s miscarriage and Hoffman is like “kill this random woman or i’ll tell John” and Amanda is like “ok :(” and then dies bc said woman’s husband was there too. Oh and John also dies.

So then Hoffman like kills a few more ppl and blames it on this dead guy named Strahm. And then Jill finds out Hoffman technically got Amanda and John killed and is like “wow what the fuck. no wonder John hated you lol” bc it turns out John hated him lol. So Jill puts the reverse beartrap on him and stands outside the door for some reason but then Hoffman escapes and gets fucking Joker scars.

Then Hoffman catches Jill and says some mean things and then kills her. But then SURPRISE Lawrence is back‼️ You haven’t seen him since the first movie bc Cary Elwes wasn’t being paid enough and filed a lawsuit but it’s ok bc he’s back now. Lawrence serves cunt and kills Hoffman in the same bathroom Adam died in right next to Adam’s body.

But ofc, this is just a short summary. This isn’t even going into like. the Fatal Five, the Matthews, Rigg’s attempted recruitment, Bobby Dagen, Scott Tibbs Documentary, etc etc etc

oh also Jigsaw (2017) and Spiral (2021) happen too

#saw #saw 2004 #saw franchise #saw movies #lawrence gordon #adam faulkner stanheight #amanda young #jill tuck #mark hoffman #john kramer #adam stanheight

[willgrahamscock]

ok I think I'm starting to get a good grade on watching saw, because I started 3 and within the first couple scenes knew Amanda was NOT making the cut. her ass wasn't following the rules!!!! you gotta follow the rules!!!

also I'm still holding out hope for Adam (❤️) to come back its like angels dying on supernatural, if you don't see the wings you can't count em out, and so far he has NOT died on screen yet it's only been implied TWICE. methinks the movie doth protest too much!!

Adam is definitely making a return!! I just read an article where they confirmed that Jigsaw is going to have Adam and Lawrence fuck nasty in the saw trap.

#alex answers #I love u don’t kill me #saw #hamsahandprint #ARE U ENJOYING IT??

[twocrabcake]

alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.

#saw #sawposting #saw franchise #saw posting #saw memes #detective hoffman #mark hoffman #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #adam stanheight #saw movies #amanda young #john kramer #saw 2004 #saw vi #saw iii #saw v #saw 5 #saw iv #saw 2 #saw x #saw 6 #saw 3 #saw 3d #saw 7 #saw (2004) #sorry about all these i’m trying to extend my reach as far as i can lol #coffinshipping #chainshipping #shotgunshipping

[porternash]

Got tagged by @goodsirbeasts in this dope little get to know the blogger thing with a few questions I haven’t seen before so here goes!

Do you make your bed?: *Starbomb Smash! voice* Absolutely fucking not! lmao not even as a kid tbh. Ama learned a looong time ago she was not winning that battle with me, putting the fitted sheet on each corner and the pillows in cases is as ‘made’ as it gets 😂

What’s your favorite number?: Six, and I couldn’t tell you why. It’s my go to tho!

What is your job?: CSRI in Spending Accounts—basically I talk to old people about their money in relation to healthcare. Also known as Dante’s secret 8th circle of hell! 😂

If you could go back to school, would you?: Depends! Does it have to be in America and can it be college? Like in this scenario, I’m assuming it’s my choice without money as an object, hell yeah, I’m going to university in Scotland and actually get my degree in literature. “Vince, you’d make the exact same mistake you did the first time?” Fuck yeah, I had a blast in the classes I actually wanted to take. I love learning. But I’m geographically challenged so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Can you parallel park?: ………………….Theoretically.

A job you had that would surprise people?: Uhhh underage construction worker? lmfao my old man used to take me to jobs with him over the summer because the neighbours kept calling CPS about me being 11 and home alone all day. Fun fact, that’s how I got the scar on my left foot! I jumped from an unfinished deck about four feet down directly onto an upright nail that went through my Super Construction Approved canvas sneakers, the bottom of my foot, the top of my foot, and the top of my shoe! So! 😂 I am my own worst enemy.

Do you think aliens are real?: I think it’s narcissism to assume they’re not, tbh. We know too much about this planet and humanity to believe it’s *just us*. Also I’d kind of like them to go ahead and just pull the trigger piglet.

Can you drive a manual car?: I can probably figure it out tbh. I’m a strangely good driver after I get a feel for the car/area.

What’s your guilty pleasure?: I don’t think I have any? I’m pretty open about what tickles my pickle. Unfortunately for you fuckers.

Tattoos?: Horny. lmao jk I have ….uh….ttttirteeen? 😅 (they said with absolutely no certainty) I’ll do an update post soon with all of them because they’re currently all healed and for the most part complete, but I have covered up my first ever tattoo because it was ugly and shitty and the dumb idea of an 18 year old off their meds lmfao and I have a pic off hand of the cover up here so enjoy~

Favourite colour?: deep greens, teals, pinks, purples, and reds. They’re plural because I’m a bit colorblind and can’t tell shades.

Favourite type of music?: Honestly put it in front of me and I’ll listen to it, but the stuff I tend to keep and replay constantly is on the rock spectrum. But hell I know every word of Dolly’s 9 to 5, Ludacris’ Stand Up, fucking Cab Calloway’s Minnie the Moocher! So yeah, just, throw whatever at the wall see what sticks approach 😂

Do you like puzzles?: Yeh actually! I love puzzle games and like actual jigsaw puzzles and if I’m in the right mood logic puzzles are fun.

Any phobias?: It’s spiders. It’s purely spiders. It’s completely irrational, I know it is, but they fucking terrify me.

Favourite childhood sport?: Soccer and touch football in high school, because it meant we were playing with the weight training guys and that was always a blast.

Do you talk to yourself?: Not out loud normally but yeah in my head constantly. I’m like JD from Scrubs but without the budget for elaborate scenarios 😂

What movie(s) do you adore?: Fuck me dead. Okay. No order of preference these are just my top five.

1. The Brothers Bloom - My first exposure to Rian Johnson and a day I will genuinely never forget at the theater with @goodsirbeasts 💜

2. Pacific Rim - I was excited for this movie for years before it came out because all I knew was the cast list and the premise (GDT making giant monsters? say fucking less) Then it actually came out and I saw it in IMAX with that bitch *gestures to @goodsirbeasts* and again, fucking transformative.

3. Blitz - okay hear me out 😭

4. Inglorious Basterds - God fucking shit I saw this in theaters with @goodsirbeasts too, on my 19th birthday! Bitch we need to start going to the movies again I miss it.

5. Silent Hill (2006) - Like PacRim, I pretend the sequel doesn’t exist and they’re both perfect solo films. But it definitely hit something in me as a kid watching this because it’s such a fucking good movie even outside of the adaptation aspect.

6. Bonus mentions; Constantine, Too Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, the entire Scream series of films, and Ever After. Just to pinball around the entire spectrum lmfao

Coffee or tea?: Coffee, I tend not to like tea for the most part unless it’s milk tea.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?: A drummer, for some godforsaken reason? I couldn’t play drums, at all. Not even a little bit at the beginning 😂 After that it’s never really changed, I always wanted to be a writer :3

This was fun! I’m trying to catch up on these tag games guys I swear 😭 Imma tag @kalgalen @captainsaku @bisexualr2d2 aaand @fuckwritersblock kissing you bitches all on the cheek 🩵

#actually me #vince’s dumb personal life #the fucking picture isn’t attach the first time gdi

[starrysharks]

today i watched "saw vi" and I LOVED IT YEAH IT WAS PEAK ‼️‼️healthcare insurance executives dying and mark hoffman cringe... what's not to love...

firstly, the story in this movie was far easier to follow along than most of the previous installments. it was always clear what was a flashback and what wasn't, mainly because dead characters like john and amanda were almost always present. also, they were both really good in this movie. john's rant on healthcare was #BASED and literally everything mandy said and did was super interesting and it makes me wish we got to see more of her in general. jill was also more prominent, and the way she differs from kramer in terms of philosophies but is still somewhat influenced by him is soooo woaw

the story here was also interesting, though these movies have taken a bit of a formula of being "one guy goes through the torture labyrinth meanwhile a jigsaw is doing crazy shit meanwhile flashbacks", but it still felt different to the other movies, especially because the main players in the games were mostly morally rotten or questionable. the philosophies here were cool and thought-provoking, on who deserves to live and all that - and that was excellently shown through the traps holy shit the spiral trap was literally so peak. the way the six were basically william's "bullets in the chamber" and it was taken to the literal extreme, their testimonies and arguments, the symbolism the tension ough my gad. not a trap, but the "right now you're feeling helpless" scene was my favorite in the whole movie after the spiral trap, once again the tension is done excellently with the repeating phrase and hoffman just killing everybody the second he knows he's fucked was really cool even tho u knew it was coming. babygirl moment

what i didn't like about this movie? well the pacing was a little slow in a few places but it wasn't that bad at all. i really can't find anything glaringly bad here that isn't standard for a saw movie (such as over-the-topness or hammering you over the head with a point multiple times). i honestly loved this one. the ending was great, the callbacks were fun, the traps looked cool, the gore effects were great (especially at the end when william's guts melted and shit, i was ewwwwwing the whole time (but like in a fun way))... my fav saw since the first to be honest. 3.8/5. no gordon but they still keep talking about him. my prayers for jill to be more relevant got answered tho <3

#zeno's movie diary #saw vi #saw spoilers #saw is teaching me roman numerals better than year 3 maths class did #long post

[white-weasel]

Saw IV and V thoughts after my Saw Saturday movie viewing experience last night:

Really glad we got some new characters introduced into the series. It breathed a lot of life into things I feel like

Finally got to meet Hoffman and Strahm let’s gooooo! I knew that these were popular characters and honestly they did not disappoint

I cannot believe that John Kramer ate a fucking tape before dying. My friend and I were discussing how he did that so cleanly without gagging or choking and our only explanation is that he’s a throat goat

Rigg’s whole trial was rough man, but it was actually very interesting. Basically “You’re obsessed with saving everyone, so the only way you can win this gauntlet (and save your friends) is to let it go.” I think that this series of traps was MUCH more well done than the series of traps Jeff went through in 3 and they also did each feel like they were testing different aspects of the same “sin” so to speak.

Favorite of those trial traps was probably the one with the husband and wife and them being impaled. I thought it was clever in its theme and its conceit. Sometimes I look at some of these saw traps and go “okay so somebody just thought of the most fucked up thing they could for the shock value” but this was not one of those so I enjoyed that

The iceblock trap though? Amazing idea and execution on that shit. Just the concept of a melting block of ice slowly hanging someone while that melted ice water fills a pool that will eventually touch another person, thereby electrocuting them because there’s a current running through the pool? Very very cool. Plus the added mechanism that kills you if someone (Rigg) walks through the door. Very scary but very good

The puppet still makes me laugh. Him just sitting on the chair before (unfortunately) blowing up at Perez got me. My friend is convinced that I need a little Saw puppet for my apartment now, though I think having the actual thing and seeing it irl might freak me out

Not sure I *needed* to learn more about John’s past before his diagnosis and his descent into becoming Jigsaw, but I also didn’t absolutely hate it. I liked getting to see his ex wife at least and get an insight into his interpersonal relationships

I’m 50/50 split if I like John’s first victim being someone who personally wronged him and ruined his life. On the one hand, I think it does great to kinda show his own hypocrisy in all of this. He says it’s not emotional and these traps are meant to save his victims, and he does at least give him a way out, it did not seem like he really wanted to reform him and that’s interesting to me. On the other hand, I don’t think the movie presents this action or putting him in the trap this way so??? Yeah

My new motto for these movies is “If I don’t see you get murked on screen, you’re still alive somewhere.” Because I was *positive* Eric was dead before they revealed him, but, well, he’s certainly dead now I guess lol

The reveal this movie that it was all taking place at the same time as 3 and that Hoffman is Jigsaw’s apprentice was amazing. Absolutely brilliant, no notes at all

I really liked how Saw 4 and 5 basically felt like a TV show in that they were very obviously meant to be viewed together/feel like one continuous story. I’m assuming that production wise the studio knew that they had 4 and 5 guaranteed so they could leave some stuff for the next movie which I appreciated

(I’m assuming they knew they were at least getting a 6 too because we didn’t get any answers for what was in that box Jill got 👀)

Hoffman carrying that little girl out of the warehouse and being like “We were the only survivors :((“ only for Strahm to get wheeled out on the gurney literally seconds afterwards was so funny

Speaking of, I can’t believe Hoffman didn’t take Strahm’s pen from out of his pocket during the water cube trap. He took all his other stuff but it’s weird he overlooked that. Granted, I doubt that he knew that Strahm would perform a tracheotomy on himself but wow

I liked the backstory we got with Hoffman and how he came to know Jigsaw. The idea of a copycat killer designing his own “trap” but it really just being a way to murder someone he wants revenge on was marvelous. Then the whole part with John kidnapping him and teaching him his ways was also cool

(Hoffman tied up with the shotgun nestled right underneath his neck? Unfortunately kinda hot)

The trap gauntlet for the five people was fine. The first trap I was like “oh my god he’s telling you to all work together! Just go get your keys one by one or have someone get their key, unlock, and then get the next person’s after they’re unlocked” at least for that one though I can see why they panicked. The second one they had no excuses lol I literally said out loud “you can definitely fit at least two people in a cubby hole”. That one seemed sooo obvious, too obvious to at least not give it a try. I didn’t totally hate the set up though, just moreso me getting mad at horror movie characters lmao

And I get Hoffstrahm now lmao. Saw IV I was like “? They barely interacted what’s this?” And then we got the whole cat and mouse game in Saw V and went “Oh yup. There it is. Theres the dynamic.” Especially with the whole glass coffin bit at the end

Speaking of the glass coffin I loved that scene. Just the wasy Strahm shoves Hoffman into the coffin and you can see Hoffman start to gloat and taunt Strahm from behind the glass because he’s sealed his own fate? Amazing. No notes. I did have to look away at the end of the trap though because watching the Saw movies has taught me I cannot handle broken bones, especially when they are very prominent. As soon as I saw Strahm start pushing on the walls I went “I know where this is going” and dutifully turned my head away

Anyways Hoffman is an interesting new antagonist! I’m curious what’s gonna happen next in this little murder soap opera. Honestly, I hope that Agent Perez gets out of the hospital and fucks up Hoffman. She finds out that Strahm is supposedly Jigsaw, goes “wtf no I could never believe that” and starts trying to pursue the real killer

Current Saw movie ranking (giving this because I gave it to my friend after discussing Saw V and my thoughts on the franchise overall)

Saw (The og and the goat, don’t think anything will really topple this one. I was glued to the screen the entire time and loved how this one really focused on Adam and Lawrence, the people in the trap, rather than the killer himself. I feel a lot of future installments lack compelling trap victims which is kinda a shame)

Saw V (I liked the story of Hoffman in this and the cat and mouse between Hoffman and Strahm a lot)

Saw IV (This was a really well done trap gauntlet for the main portion of the plot and the ending reveal was so awesome. Lots of adrenaline pumping for this one, but it did get lowered because I’m still meh on a lot of the John Kramer additional backstory stuff atm)

Saw II (Saw II gave me so many issues ranking it because the final reveal was PHENOMENAL but the main game portion didn’t always work for me. I did like the idea of Eric’s game of just having to wait out the clock but I kinda count that as being a part of the final reveal and thus it can’t elevate the whole movie. There’s potential this and Saw IV could flip flop depending on my moods. This one just has higher highs but lower lows for me)

Saw III (I liked Amanda getting tested and the whole ending with the chain reaction of violence/death, but that’s about it. The main traps in this game did not do it for me, nor did the story connecting those traps. This one also just really felt that they needed to escalate the traps for escalation’s sake rather than to tell a compelling story, which I know is probably a dumb complaint for the gory trap horror franchise but idk I just didn’t like it)

#saw #saw franchise #saw series #sawposting #saw iv #saw v #white weasel talks #I scream about Saw

[via-the-ghoul]

Slasher headcanons: realistically none of these people would do this but like. What if they had Tumblr accounts

Micheal Myers

His username is literally just Micheal-Myers or some variation on it if that’s already taken

He mostly just Reblogs the occasional “Can’t wait for Halloween” “it’s November” “Can’t wait for Halloween” post.

However the actual reason he got this account was to ominously like all of Laurie’s posts

The problem is that she blocked him immediately

She doesn’t even know for sure that it was old Mikey she just thinks naming your account after the guy who destroyed her life is a dick move

And his profile pick is the mask so she knows it’s not the actor or some other guy named Micheal Myers they’re talking about

So he can’t do the ominous liking thing anymore

Freddy Krueger

He is blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Ok let me explain

He runs a Freddy Krueger fan account

And isn’t trying to hide the fact that he is literally Freddy Krueger

And kills people

So everyone thinks that he’s just one of the worst of the weird TCC people

The weird serial killer simp TCC people don’t like him either because whenever they post about literally any other serial killer being hot he replies with “Freddy Krueger is way better kys”

And that’s why he’s blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Candyman

His account is basically one of the most normal ones on this list lol

It mostly posts those dark poetry posts (you know what I’m talking about right) and old paintings.

And before you ask yes. A good amount of said art is stuff he made as Daniel

He also reblogs a good amount of other people’s art and commission posts, artists gotta support each other!

The weirdest thing about the account is that one time he posted a painting that he made as Daniel, that was like, considered lost media up to this moment

And he didn’t know

Everyone’s just like “YO HOW TF DID YOU FIND THIS” and he’s just like “wait this was lost media”

Billy Loomis and Stu Matcher

They run a joint horror movie review account

Every single review is mostly positive

They still have a clear fav tho: gorey slasher movies

Billy’s reviews are more serious while Stu jokes around a lot

Billy’s like “you know it’s really messed up what happened to Henry, and I like the twist that he isn’t actually the killer this time and it’s the less sympathetic Axel” while Stu’s like “lol stupid kids get fucked”

They’re decently popular in the horror community

The account however, becomes infamous after their deaths and the fact that they were serial killers is revealed

It becomes… really uncomfortable to look at their posts after that

Lester Sinclair

He’s the only Sinclair brother with Tumblr

His posts are mostly just talking about the progress made on the Town of Wax (leaving out the murder obviously)

Bo and Vincent are both worried that Lester’s gonna accidentally reveal their crimes at some point

Similarly to Billy and Stu’s it gets uncomfortable to look at after the truth about the Town of Wax is revealed

However, it does get people to look at the posts

They’d get like 5 notes at most beforehand

Billy Lenz

His profile pic is the Bob eye, his username is a keyboard smash, and his background’s just like static or something

He just replies to random posts with keyboard smashes

Sometimes he’ll accidentally link a website but it never means anything

It’s a huge mystery what tf is going on with blog

At one he just posts “i am going to kill you” with no tags and goes silent forever

Everyone thinks it’s some bizarre ARG that didn’t go anywhere

Amanda Young

She posts quotes from various horror media she finds cool as well as aesthetic boards for said media

It’s mostly dark poetry, horror stories, and art house Horror movies

And the occasional Jigsaw quote

She does not hide the fact that she is a Jigsaw apologist. While being a trap survivor.

People argue about whether her account is ok or not for this reason

#via #via rambles #horror #slashers #slasher community #halloween #a nightmare on elm street #candyman #scream #house of wax #black christmas #saw #micheal myers #freddy krueger #daniel robitaille #billy loomis #stu matcher #ghostface #lester sinclair #billy lenz #amanda young

[soullessjack]

what saw movie do you dislike and why?

Spiral (2021).

There’s movies that are so bad they’re good, and then there’s movies that are so bad you feel like you’ve lost years of your life during its runtime. Spiral is the latter.

// obligatory spoiler warning, but genuinely it’s not worth watching //

Firstly, there’s a jarring shift in aesthetic and tone between this and the first 6 Saw movies. It’s hard to explain with words alone, but the other movies all have this claustrophobic atmosphere to them. Between the traps and other environments, everything is typically dark and dim and cluttered and confusing (John’s warehouse lair, the various traps, Adam’s shithole apartment, Tapp’s office, etc). More brightly lit and clean environments like Gordon’s home and hospital are distinctly cold and empty, and the various shots of the outside world are largely kept in such small tight frame that you still feel confined.

As such, the characters themselves feel suffocated by their own environments too, even if it’s just within their everyday lives. Tapp is suffocated by his obsession, Adam is suffocated by his seedy job, and even though Gordon’s environments are fairly large and bright and spacious, they lack any warmth or welcome; both home and hospital are sterile. This constant sense of confinement is what I think lends immensely to Saw’s unique flavor of horror.

Spiral doesn’t have any of that. It focuses on a big-city police department, full of wide open spaces and warm colors. There are plenty of environments that could’ve been used for the claustrophobic feeling, like the police department or the opening kill train station—but then, the department is large enough to fit 20+ officers at a time, and the train station is fucking huge. There’s also a lot of traveling around with the main character, Zeke, as he investigates the latest Sawpycat, so you never get the same suffocation or confinement feelings as before. But now let me get to Zeke.

He’s a cop in the department that’s currently being targeted by Sawpycat, and his backstory is that a few years ago he saw another “brother” shoot a witness who wanted to testify against another cop, and when he tried to confront the corruption, the department turned against him (we’ll get to the police corruption part later, but holy shit is that possibly the worst part of the whole movie). It’s not very important, but Zeke is also played by Chris Rock—as in, Marty the Zebra from Madagascar Chris Rock. I’m sure he’s a talented guy, but he does not have the range, and I don’t know if it’s just because of his voice or that he isn’t usually a horror actor, but he just cannot land the role. This being the opening dialogue for his character doesn’t help either:

This is another example of the tonal shift being completely thrown off, and it being said by Marty the Zebra isn’t exactly an improvement. One of Adam’s lines in Saw 2004 is literally “I wouldn’t care if you covered yourself in peanut butter and had a 15-hooker gang bang,” and that alone tells me more about his character and dynamic with Gordon than whatever this is supposed to. That’s cinematic poetry to me. But the dialogue throughout this whole movie is so..empty. So devoid of substance. It definitely registers as words on a paper being read aloud, but not as genuine thoughts or feelings from the characters. Not only are wokeness jokes completely unfunny, they’re also completely out of place for a Saw movie.

Now, I will say that Saw is a franchise that focuses on various social-political issues before; police corruption & brutality, drug addiction, poverty, the justice system, prison conditions, the healthcare system, etc are all elements that tie directly into its’ main story and lend to the uniqueness even more. I mean, for all intents and purposes Jigsaw and his apprentices are technically vigilantes working outside the law. Spiral itself focuses on police brutality and corruption and goes all-in with it through Zeke’s story and the serial targeting of various precinct officers (I kind of liked the tie-in to cops as pigs and Jigsaw’s pig symbolism but that’s about it).

See, as odd as it may sound, the point of Jigsaw’s games and the qualifications of his targets is redemption. It’s intended to be a second chance for people who don’t value life, be it theirs or others. Eric Matthews from Saw 2 is a crooked cop who framed and sentenced Amanda Young and other people for false drug charges. But he’s also a father struggling through a divorce who wants to be there for his son, Daniel, and will do anything to save or help him. You can and should hate him for falsely ruining numerous peoples’ lives, but you can still sympathize with the pain and fear he feels for his son.

There’s nuance to him, as there’s nuance to the other various victims throughout the movies, and that nuance allows you to care for the fact that these people are victims at all, because the driving point that makes you root for the victims’ survival and care about their situation is that they ultimately deserve to live and redeem themselves despite their wrongdoings. With Spiral’s victims, there’s no nuance whatsoever. Every targeted cop is targeted for past corruption that went unpunished, and every one of them deserves what they get, full stop. One of the cops literally shot a teenager to death for flipping him off (and he has what’s probably my favorite kill of the whole movie). What makes it even worse is that the Sawpycat killer is a fucking victim of police brutality. Remember Zeke’s origin story as a witness to another cop murdering a man to protect his crooked buddy? Yeah, the killer is that man’s son, having witnessed his father’s death and vowing revenge on the whole system by destroying it from the inside out, and he wants Zeke to be his boy best friend taking down more evil cops together and yada yada.

Shockingly, he gets away with it in the end instead of dying like you’d expect for an anti-cop vigilante, but even still the entire story just feels so poorly executed and contrived. I don’t feel any of the stress or emotional weight of these peoples’ deaths because they wholeheartedly deserve it. I don’t even sympathize with Zeke as “one of the good cops” because 1) his personality is bland, and 2) there’s a scene where he goes undercover to a drug dealer’s for information and proceeds to not only break this man’s legs till the bone sticks out, but then makes a long winded joke about posting it “for the Gram” and pouring whiskey on it. The end credits song is also a rap song that still feels so unfitting for the tone of the franchise (at least, compared to the other movies’ ending with primarily metal songs. I guess it’s a product of time deal).

So, yeah. Spiral is undoubtedly the worst Saw movie, and honestly I can’t even call it a Saw movie because of how far removed from the franchise it feels.

I will say, tho, that I do not blame Chris Rock and Samuel L Jackson (yes, he’s here too as Zeke’s dad; it’s more believable casting than Chris but still not great) for their movie failing as it did. They’re both incredibly talented actors, and horror movies (and movies in general) with black leads are very lacking in Hollywood, but I truly think this movie was doomed to begin with. and whether that’s poor writing or Hollywood dooming a black-lead narrative as usual I can’t say. They did their best with what they were given, and considering how little that was, they have all my respect.

#holdthypeace.txt #sawposting #saw movies #saw franchise #spiral from the book of saw #zeke banks #william schenk #I can’t even be bothered to remember the other characters names it’s so forgettable I’m sorry #long post #sorry the sawtism won ^_^ #saw 2 #eric matthews #daniel matthews #amanda young #jigsaw #jigsaw killer #jigsaw is also not a great movie but it’s more entertaining than this shit