#also i think in the end the able bodied person should agree with one final act of revenge on some really ableist person

[mountttmase]

Not Your Fault

Note - i hope you’re all excited to meet the final bubba 🩷 a few guesses for the name were right but no one guessed the exact spelling 😂 I hope you love them as much as I do though and hopefully I’ll be able to write about them a bit more as we learn about their personality 😌 hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated 😘

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6k

Warnings - fluff, smut, tiny bit of angst

Putting the kids to bed with Mason was never an easy task. Mason putting the kids to bed on his own was a recipe for disaster but right now there wasn't much the pair of you could do.

You could hear Mason trying to wrangle your two babies as you sat with your third in the nursery. Ollie trying his hardest to help Mason tame Tilly as she ran riot and you knew Mason was about to explode. You wondered if you should get up to help but Ryley was feeding peacefully in your arms and you didn’t want to disturb him.

‘Welcome to the mad house baby’ you whispered, stroking your finger along his perfect nose all the way down to the end before awkwardly reaching down to kiss his head. ‘You’ll get used to Tills, she’s just excited about you being here’

And she really was.

Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine you’d get pregnant so quickly after agreeing to try again and after your first two pregnancies you thought you knew your body well enough now to know when something had changed. Clearly that wasn’t the case though and it was actually Mason who figured it out first that were pregnant with a little help from Nala.

The kids were at school and Mason came home to find you cuddled up with Nala on the sofa. Her head and paws on your tummy as you scratched her head but as soon as he tried to cuddle you, Nala wasn’t having it. Growling at him when he tried to put his arms around you and pushing him away with her nose.

‘What’s crawled up her arse and died’ Mason laughed. Trying to snake his hands around your middle but Nala would fight him off every time until he gave up and grabbed your boob instead.

‘Mason? Do you mind’

‘Take it up with her, she’s hogging you’ he huffed but you just let it slide. You knew Mason needed to be holding something and if it was your boob then you’d just have to get on with it as he wouldn’t move off. You didn’t think anything of it though, you just knew Nala was protective and after you’d been cuddling for a while she was feeling territorial.

It was two days later that Mason caught you crying in the utility room. Half buried under all of the kids washing and the look of concern on his face just made you cry even harder. You’d been trying to get ontop of the cleaning all day and it the point you just felt overwhelmed.

‘Hey, what’s wrong sweetheart?’ He asked as he helped you up but you didn’t really have an answer for him. Trying to quieten your sobs but you could feel your bottom lip still wobbling as he looked at you softly.

‘Sorry Mase, I don’t even know why I’m crying’ you laughed as he wiped your eyes for you. ‘I’m just a bit emotional at the moment’ you told him and by the small sigh you knew he had something he wanted to say so you raised your eyebrow at him in hopes he’d speak.

‘Baby, you don’t think you might be…’

‘Drowning in washing?’ You laughed but the soft look on his face made you be quiet. He looked genuinely concerned but there was also something behind his eyes you couldn’t quite place.

‘No you wally… pregnant’

Pregnant? You didn’t think so at all. Apart from feeling more emotional than usual you didn’t have any other symptoms that you could think of and you wondered if Mason was just getting ahead of himself.

‘No I don’t think so Mase, I’d know if I was’ you told him but you watched his face soften as he cupped your jaw.

‘Well I know you too, and I think you are’ he teased. ‘You’re all emotional, you’re eating everything in sight and Nala suddenly won’t let me go near you’ he listed off and you blushed at the fact he’d clearly caught you snacking more than usual. ‘Maybe we should check? Just to rule it out’

‘I mean we can but it’ll just be a waste’ you laughed ‘We only started trying a month ago, Mase. I doubt it would have happened that quickly’

‘Don’t doubt my powers of fertility’ he laughed and even though you wanted to smile you were trying your hardest to keep a straight face.

‘You’re insane’ you huffed, grabbing his hand and taking him upstairs to your en-suite. You’d made sure to stock up on tests since you were now trying and you instructed him to wait on the bed while you took it.

‘There you go’ you smiled, walking out of the bathroom and handing him the capped test that was still loading. ‘What do you fancy for dinner? I’ll go get it started’ you told him as you made your way to the door but he grabbed your wrist to hold you in place, looking back at you like you’d lost your mind.

‘You’re not gonna wait?’

‘There's no point, it’ll be negative babe. Now what do you want?’ You told him, shrugging your shoulders as you really believe deep down that you had nothing to worry about as there was no way you were pregnant already.

‘You pick’ he told you quietly, and with a kiss to his forehead you made your way back downstairs and into the kitchen.

Mason was gone for a while, almost to the point where you were about to go and find him but he suddenly appeared in the doorway with his eyes full of tears and a soft smile on his face. You knew he would be upset that it was negative, knowing he wanted a third baby more than anything but you figured at least if he was smiling then he hadn’t taken it too hard.

You didn’t have a chance to say anything though, Mason coming straight over to you so he could cup your face and press gentle kisses over your cheeks which made you blush and your knees weak but you loved his gentle side and you let him shower with you affection.

Before you could reassure him everything would be fine and you had all the time in the world to try for baby number three, he pulled back to look at you and you were frozen in place as you knew what that look in his eye meant.

‘You’re pregnant baby’

‘What?’

‘You’re pregnant’ he laughed, kissing your cheeks again as you froze in his hold. Letting him continue to kiss your face and it’s like his words hadn’t hit you yet until he rested his forehead on top of yours.

‘You're lying’ you whispered, your bottom lip wobbling as your eyes started to burn but he just laughed at you. Reaching into his pocket to pull out the test so he could show you and there it was in black and white. The words pregnant staring you back in the face until you looked up into Masons happy ones. ‘We’re having a baby’

You burst into tears instantly as you fell into Mason's chest. Him holding you close to his body as he rocked you from side to side, letting you know it was okay and that he’d keep you safe, the both of you safe, and when you eventually pulled back he kissed your tears away.

‘I didn’t think it would be this quick, sorry it’s just a bit of a shock’ you laughed, trying to wrap your head around it as your stared back at the word pregnant.

‘It’s alright, baby. Are you feeling okay?’

‘I think so’ you laughed. Letting him grip the back of your thighs so he could place you on the counter and look him in the eye. ‘I just can’t believe it, like I don’t even know what to think’

‘Well It’s still early love, how about we keep it to ourselves for a little while and tell the kids when we’re certain everything’s okay’ he reassured you and you felt yourself relax at how calm and in control he was about everything. ‘We can tell the rest of the world after that when you’re ready but for now it’s just us yeah? You, me and Nala’ he joked before pulling you in for a well needed hug.

So you kept it to yourselves. Telling the kids after your 12 week scan and as soon as Tilly found out you were pregnant she’d barely left your side and was seemingly very quizzical about what was happening. You knew she wanted to come out and ask fully how it had happened but she kept it inside until one night when it was just the three of you.

Ollie was at a friend's house for dinner and after all of you had eaten, you were cuddled up on the sofa with Mason, Tilly nestled in between you. Her head on Mason's chest as you watched whatever was on the tv but soon enough Tilly was ready for a biology lesson.

‘Daddy, how did the baby get in mummy’s belly?’ she asked, her head tilting up to look at him but as soon as you looked up you could see the panic written all over his face.

‘Yeah, how did it happen, Mase?’ You teased wanting to know how he’d worm his way out of this one but you could see he was hating every second of this. Sending you a what the fuck face before looking back down at Tilly who was waiting patiently for him to explain.

‘Okay, so you know how you write a letter to Santa at Christmas?’ He started, Tilly nodding excitedly and you could see the cogs turning in his brain, wondering where the hell he was going with this but let him carry on. ‘Well, when two people who love each other very much want a baby, they write a letter to the stork and then you have to bury it in the garden so they can come and pick it up’

You could see Tilly wasn’t buying it, looking back at him in confusion and you yourself were waiting for what he had to say next.

‘But how?’

‘How what?’

‘His did they get into mummy’s belly’ he asked more firmly this time as Mason was quite clearly skirting around it but knowing Tilly she would ask and ask until she got her answer.

‘Well um… well then the stork, it comes back and uh… and it leaves a seed which is the baby… and uh, that goes in Mummy’s tummy’ he nodded, stuttering the whole way through as he was panicking but you were loving how flustered he was. Trying to hold in a laugh as you covered your mouth with your hand.

‘But how does the seed get in there?’ She persisted, watching Mason now try to hide a smile before his eyes flashed to yours and you knew he was about to say something he shouldn’t.

‘She swallows it’

‘Okay that’s enough for today’ you interrupted, pulling Tilly onto your lap ‘you need to go and pick Ollie up’ you told Mason with a slightly dissatisfied look on your face and he quickly kissed your forehead la with a smile before getting up. ‘Come on missy, let’s get you in the bath, yeah?’

‘Okay mummy,’ she smiled. Reaching over to give Mason a kiss on the cheek before making her way up the stairs and you promised her you’d be right up in a minute.

‘Right I won’t be long’ Mason laughed as he got up, reaching down to help pull you up with him but he must have caught the unimpressed look from you as he began to laugh at your expression. ‘What?’

‘You know what’ you laughed. ‘Maybe If I had swallowed we wouldn’t be in this state would we’

‘I love it when you talk dirty’ Mason laughed. Pulling you into him with his hand on your bum and he squeezed it as he kissed you heavily. ‘I’ll see you soon, maybe when the kids are in bed we can try-‘

‘Mason I swear to god’ you laughed, pulling away and tapping his chest before making a beeline for the stairs but the sound of his giggles as he made his way out the door made you giggle along too.

Things took a turn at the gender reveal though. The four of you not doing anything extravagant but you knew you wanted the kids involved so after you scan you gave your bestie Sid an envelope with the gender inside so she could organise a cake and the next day you were all sat around the kitchen island with wine glasses in hand ready to sink them into the cake and you couldn’t be more excited.

Mason and Ollie didn’t care what the gender was, as did you, but Tilly was gunning for a baby sister. Having already picked out some toys for her to have and she constantly referred to the baby as she. You knew there would be a meltdown if she didn’t get her way but you were trying to distract her as best you could.

‘Okay, are we ready?’ you laughed, popping your hand on Tilly’s glass to help her push down into the cake and after the count of three you shut your eyes and pushed down on both until you hit the board.

It was Tilly crying no that made you realise what had happened. Looking round to see everyone’s glass filled with the blue frosting from the inside of the cake but Tilly’s wails wouldn’t let you enjoy your time just yet.

Mason was trying his hardest to contain his laughter and when you pulled Tilly into a hug to console her, he wrapped his arms around the pair of you whilst Ollie just grabbed a fork and began to dig into his cake.

‘Tilly baby, it’s okay’ you tried to reassure her, holding your laughs in as best you could but she just cried harder.

‘I don’t like boys’ she sobbed into your neck as she held you tight and as much as Mason looked like he was about to lose it, he peeled Tilly away from you and began to talk to her quietly. Eventually taking her out into the garden where you could see him swaying her from side to side as he spoke into the side of her head and eventually she was nodding her head and wiping her eyes

You joined Ollie though, accepting the fork he passed you so you could dig in too while you spoke about the new baby boy on the way and Ollie was very quick to reassure you how excited he was and how much he wanted to help out.

‘Okay, I think we’re on board now’ Mason announced as he walked back in with Tilly on his hip. A smile on her face but her eyes were still red and watery so Mason sat her on the side so you could feed her some cake.

‘Tilly, my new book came today. Shall I read to you for a bit?’ Ollie asked, your heart melting at the way he wanted to cheer her up as Ollie reading to her was their thing. Whenever Tilly was on mad one or overwhelmed he’d often take her over to their little corner to calm down and your heart felt full as she toddled off with her hand in his.

‘So, another boy huh?’ Mason smiled as he came over to you. Resting his hands on your waist as you rested yours on his chest and you were thankful for a little bit of alone time with him.

‘Looks like it. And after two clones of you I’m hoping this one looks a little bit like me��� you told him before he kissed your forehead with a giggle.

‘Are you happy?’

‘Of course, as long as he's healthy I couldn’t care what they are,’ you told him softly and he nodded his head in agreement. ‘What did you say to Tilly?’

‘Told her it’s another boy to boss around. And that if she’s the only girl then she’ll always be my only princess’

‘What about me?’ you pouted, watching Mason roll his eyes but he was leaning down to kiss you just after.

You’d picked a few names out, but just like you’d done with Tilly you wanted to see him before you named him and once you had, the name Ryley seemed to fit him like a glove. Whilst you could tell he was Mason's boy you were constantly told how much he looked like you and it made your heart swell whenever you looked at him.

Tilly also came around as soon as she saw him. Almost bursting into tears at the way her little face softened at the sight of her new brother before she was looking up at you for permission to say hello to him and Ollie was just as perfect as ever with him.

A new baby meant a whole new routine though and lately it meant Ryleys feed came at bed time so Mason had to put the others to bed on his own. Usually he’d love this but clearly the novelty has worn off for Tilly and she was making it as difficult for him as possible.

Soon enough the noise died down. Mason telling Tilly that Ryley won’t want to stay with us if she’s too loud and she finally took the hint and got into bed. Letting Mason read her a very quick story before he went and said goodnight to Ollie with the house falling silent once more.

You felt Mason pop his head into the nursery soon after, his eyes and facial expression soft as he took you in but he couldn’t hide the deep blush on his cheeks. Eyes flicking down to your exposed chest as you fed Ryley and you could see he was debating whether or not he should come in but you nodded your head to motion for him to come over. Watching him carefully make his way over to the pair of you and when he was close enough you lifted your head in hopes he’d lean down and kiss you. Revealing in the feeling of his lips brushing against yours softly and you hummed in delight just before he pulled away.

‘You two alright in here?’ He asked quietly, crouching down so he could kiss Ryley’s head. Your heart fluttering at the adoring way he looked down at him before his gaze was locked on yours.

‘We’re okay. Are you okay?’ You laughed, referring to the nightmare he seemed to have just had with the others and you smiled as he rolled his eyes playfully.

‘Oh you heard that yeah?’ He laughed. ‘Unless you put Tilly to bed she’s a right pain in the arse’ he teased. ‘I love her but my god she’s a handful sometimes’

‘They don’t call her Tilly the tiny terror for nothing’ you winked. ‘You done good though sweet cheeks’

‘Thanks’ he laughed, rolling his eyes again. ‘I’m gonna go sort myself out but I’ll see you in our room in a bit, yeah? Take your time’

‘Okay’ you whispered and with one last heavy kiss to your lips he was making his way out.

You sat Ryley up not too long after so you could wind him. Knowing Mason hadn’t really got to see him all that much today and he’d be itching for a cuddle soon so you made your way back across the hall to your bedroom for some time for just the three of you.

You didn’t questione why the door to your bedroom was shut even though maybe you should have. He never usually shut it as it was harder for you to open with just one hand whilst carrying Ryley and you always kept it open just in case one of the kids needed you but you just shifted Ryley on your chest so he was over your left shoulder and pushed the door open.

You should have known there was a reason why he shut it. Walking around to be met with the sound of his loud breathing and when you rounded the corner and into his view you were shocked by the sight in front of you.

There he was laid on the bed, T-shirt riding high on his perfect body as his boxers had been shuffled down his thighs ever so slightly to free himself and even from the split second view you knew what he was doing as his hand moved up and down. A shocked gasp falling from your lips before you turned and you heard mason fumbling behind you.

‘Shit! Oh god, oh god no’

‘Mase, it’s okay’ you told him, slightly chuckling as you turned back around to face him but the look on his face made your heart drop.

His cheeks were redder than you’d ever seen them, a humiliated look plastered across his face no matter how much he tried to hide it and he looked on the brink of tears.

‘Masey, no don’t get upset it’s alright’

‘I need the bathroom-’

‘No wait’ you called, popping Ryley into his crib as quickly as you could before rushing over to him to stop him from hiding away in the en-suite for the rest of the night and thankfully you caught him before he was able to shut the door. ‘Come here baby, come and talk to me’

‘No I-‘

‘Mase, come on’ you interrupted, pulling him back to bed so you could sit on the edge with him in hopes he’d look at you. He was determined to keep looking down though so in the end you just held him tight and spoke into his hair. ‘It’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed or anything. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before’

‘I thought I had more time’ he told you. Holding you tighter but you hated how down he sounded.

‘Look at me’ you whispered, letting him take his own time to gather himself before looking up at you shyly. ‘You don’t need to be embarrassed, it’s perfectly normal’

‘I know I just… it’s still embarrassing’ he laughed. ‘I feel like a teenager who’s just been caught. I just thought you’d be a bit longer with the little man and I’d have time. I haven’t wanted to ask for… you know. I wanted to wait until you’re ready and-‘

‘Who said I’m not ready’ you smiled. ‘I gave birth 8 weeks ago now so that’s two weeks over’

‘I know’ he smiled. I’m just worried that’s all’

‘Worried about what?’

‘I don’t wanna hurt you’ he whispered and your heart broke at his sad face. ‘Remember what happened after Tilly?’ He asked and you nodded solemnly.

It had been six weeks since Tilly had been born and you knew Mason was chomping at the bit to have you. You were too big and uncomfortable towards the end of your pregnancy so it had been months since you’d last been intimate and it was almost as if Mason was counting down the days.

Your night didn’t go as planned though. Unbenounced to you, you still weren’t fully ready and even though Mason had been gentle with you and you’d tried to push through it, it hurt too much and you’d ended up bursting into tears.

Mason felt awful, almost in tears himself as he tried to comfort you but you knew he was blaming himself when he shouldn’t be. In the end you took his face in your hands so you could pepper his cheeks with kisses but your heart was breaking as he repeatedly told you how sorry he was.

‘Masey it’s not your fault’ you told him quietly, but he wasn’t having any of it. Hiding his head into your neck for the rest of the night until the pair of you eventually fell asleep.

He was quiet with you but extra soft for a few days until you could talk it out and let him know it wasn’t his fault. You just had to wait an extra few weeks and everything would go back to normal.

You could see it in his eyes now that he was frightened so you pulled him closer and cupped his jaw so you could look at each other properly.

‘Tilly had a massive head baby’ you laughed. ‘She was a right pain to get out but I don’t feel like I did with Tilly. Ryley was a breeze compared to her and I’m all healed up now. There’s nothing to be afraid of’

‘Yeah?’ He smiled. His body relaxing in your arms as you reassured him everything was okay and the small smile on his lips made you feel a lot better.

‘Yeah, of course. In fact… what do you say we pop Ryley in his nursery for a bit so we can have some time for just us’

‘Wait, what?’ He whispered, his face looking slightly shocked but in all honestly your been craving some alone time with Mason yourself. ‘Are you sure?’

‘100%, Just give me a sec and I’ll be back’ you told him. Slightly untangling yourself from him so you could pick up Ryley and take him over to his nursery. You never left him in here at night but he had his naps in here all the time so you made sure the baby cam was set up properly before dropping a kiss on his head. ‘I’ll be back for you soon, little one. Just keep sleeping for me’ you whispered. Taking one last look before making your way back to Mason.

He was sitting on the bed facing the door when you got back and a sudden wave of anxiety rolled over you as soon as you shut the door. Your body had changed so much since he’d last seen it and you knew you were covered in stretch marks and still sagging in certain places so when he pulled you in between his legs you tried not to look him in the eye.

‘Baby? Everything alright?’ He asked, fingers delicately tracing the backs of your thighs and you just nodded and you pulled him into a hug.

‘I’m okay, just nervous’ you laughed awkwardly. ‘It’s been a while’

‘I know, love. We can go as slowly as you want to though, yeah?’

‘I know’ you smiled, kissing his forehead gently but he could still read your mind and sense how apprehensive you were.

‘And I don’t care what you think your body looks like now. You know that don’t you? I love you and I just wanna make you feel good’

‘I know, Mase’ you smiled, eyes filling at his sweet words. He’d said the same after both your other babies had been born but the words still hit you deep. You didn’t look like you used you, three babies would have an effect on anyone but Mason never cared. He took you as you were and only cared about looking after you, telling you you’d given him everything he’d ever wanted and he’d make sure he looked after you in whatever way you needed.

His hands were trailing all over your bare legs, touching wherever he could as his lips pressed kisses to your chest and you couldn’t help but giggle as he finally got to touch all the places he’d missed for the last few months.

‘What’s so funny?’ He smiled, pinching your bum gently as you steadied yourself but his cheeky smile was melting you.

‘We’ve been together for so many years now, had three kids together and you’re still as horny as ever’ you chuckled, wanting him to know how ridiculous you found him but deep down you knew you were just as bad.

‘That’s what happens when you’ve got the most beautiful wife in the world’ he told you. ‘You know I’ll never not want you. Even when we’re grey and wrinkly I’ll still think you’re hot as fuck’

‘If you’re trying to get me in the mood, talking about old people probably won’t help’ you told him, kneeling onto the mattress and his light laugh made you smile.

‘Noted’ he winked, shuffling back and inviting you to lay with him and once you were next to him he laid you back gently and kissed you with as much passion as he could muster.

He kissed you until you felt dizzy, your hands gripping at him where you could and when when you moaned into his mouth he rolled ontop on you so he could look directly down at you.

‘What do you want baby? You want my fingers?’

‘Mhmmm’

‘Yeah? You don’t sound so sure’ he teased but before you could protest he was talking again. ‘I think I know what you really want’

‘What’s that?’

‘You want my mouth, don’t you?’ He whispered lowly into you ear. The sound making you shiver and a gasp to fall from your lip at the sound of his dirty words. ‘Thought so’ he chuckled and before you knew it he was kissing down your neck as he grabbed the hem of your shirt.

You knew it was just Mason and he loved you no matter what, so you let him remove all your clothes as he placed kisses to your exposed skin. Pushing any nervous thoughts out of your head so on you could enjoy the feel of him again.

As soon as his lips touched where they needed to you felt yourself melt. Feeling like you were floating on clouds as he reminded you what you’d been missing out on for months as you tried your hardest to keep your moans at bay and not wake anyone. He made it difficult though. Getting back into the rhythm of things like he’d never been away and soon enough your fingers were getting tangled in his hair as he pushed you over the finish line.

‘Stop biting your lip, I wanna do that’ he laughed, as he made his way back up to your face. Kissing you so you could taste yourself and you let out quiet moan as he gently sunk his teeth into your bottom lip.

‘I’m trying to be quiet’ you laughed, lips against his as you spoke before he stole another kiss from you. Knowing he was ready and raring to go.

‘What do you want now baby?’

‘I want you. All of you,’ you told him. Watching a slight nervousness flicker through him and you wanted to reassure him straight away. Gripping the back of his neck so you could tug him back down for a kiss and as he got into it you began to undress him until you were both naked and needy for each other.

You knew he was watching you the whole time as he pushed his way inside of you. Your face contorting in pleasure as he took his time before bending down to press gentle kisses over your face.

‘Is that okay?’ He whispered, moving his hips slowly so you could adjust to him but you were already seeing stars after not feeling him for so long and all you could muster was a nod. ‘Yeah?’ Breathed, a sense of relief laced through his voice and you nodded as you tried to reassure him further.

‘Yes masey, keep doing that’ you moaned, louder than you’d intended to but it all felt so intense and you knew mason was feeling it too.

‘Should I slow down?’

‘No, just like that’ you sighed. Reaching up to grab his shoulders so you had something to steady yourself but also because you wanted to feel his skin under yours.

‘You wonder why I still can’t keep my hands off of you?’ He moaned, pulling up so he could hold you at your waist and take a bit more control. ‘Fucking look at you, you’re unreal’

‘Mase-‘

‘I know gorgeous. I’m with you, just let go for me’ he told you and you did exactly as he said. Letting him coax you through it until you were spent and he was flopping down gently next to you.

Sometimes you felt like this was your favourite bit. Laying skin to skin with your man as he gently stroked your back and you couldn’t help but nuzzle into him more as you made every second count. You’d missed these moments with him and from the way he was holding you close you knew he’d missed it too.

‘You okay?’ He whispered after a while. Feeling your eyes growing heavier as he lulled you to sleep but you looked up at him with a soft smile as he kissed your nose.

‘I’m perfect’

‘I didn’t hurt you at all did I?’ He questioned quietly but you shook your head so he knew you were fine straight away.

‘I promise you, I’m absolutely fine’ you told him. Pecking his lips softly before sighing. ‘I’m so comfy but I need to go and get Ryley. I don’t like leaving him in there alone for too long’

‘Stay there, okay? I’ll go get little man’ he reassured you. Kissing your head gently before untangling himself from you so he could get dressed and grab your boy.

You got dressed too whilst he was gone and you were just pulling your top over your head as he walked back in with Ryley cuddled into his chest. Your heart thumping at the way they were together and no matter when or where, watching Mason with a tiny human always made your knees weak.

‘Come on boys, mumma needs a cuddle’ you laughed. Jumping up onto the bed and letting Mason pass you Ryley before he laid next to you. His head on your chest as Ryley laid on the other side and you couldn’t stop yourself from looking down at Mason and seeing how happy he was to have some time with Ryley. ‘You okay, Mase?’

‘I’m better than okay’ he smiled, reaching up to give you a quick peck before nuzzling back down into your neck. ‘Thank you for everything, I never thought I could be this happy’

You didn’t have the words for him. Your eyes filling with tears as you kissed his temple but inside you were agreeing with him wholeheartedly. You too never thought you could ever be this happy but as you thought about where you were right now and who you were with, you knew right now your life and your family were complete.

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 I really hoped you enjoyed it and I’d love if you could leave me some feedback if you fancy it 😘

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[thedragonkween]

Prince Nuada Headcanons! 🤍

Prince Nuada x gn!Reader headcanons. I recently watched Hellboy II and I couldn't help but simp. I wrote these headcanons on how I think a relationship with him would be, and I wanted to share them with you! We can always do with a little more Nuada love. I hope you like them, and feel free to add your own headcanons if you have any!! I would love to hear your ideas 💕

Also, these are safe for work!

Protective, protective, protective. This beautiful, lonely prince knows how cruel the world can be, how many dangers lie in it. Every time he cradles your face in his hands delicately, he silently vows to himself that he will protect you. For once in his life, he has finally found his light - someone who listens to his troubles, who watches curiously as he tinkers with mysterious elven technology, who washes and braids his hair when he can’t bother to do so. He will fight to the death for you.

He is the literal embodiment of “scary dog privileges”, so if you ever want to go for a walk or a run after dark, he will be there by your side, scowling at anyone who looks at you for a moment too long.

He looms over you like a shadow, always ready to push you behind him and shield you with his body if someone or something threatens you.

This is especially true when you visit the Troll Market. You had to insist for Nuada to take you with him the first time, but in the end, he gave in, unable to resist your bright, hopeful eyes and warm smile (you are his weak spot, after all). He agrees on two conditions: you are not allowed to wander on your own, and if something dangerous happens (such as a skirmish or if a creature bothers you) the trip will be over, and you will return to the surface immediately.

Luckily, nothing dangerous happened and you were able to experience the bustling, chaotic atmosphere of the market undisturbed. Unexpected bonus: Nuada always kept a large hand on the small of your back, ready to guide you or to tuck you in the safety of his arms at a moment’s notice should something threaten your safety.

He loves it when you watch him train. It makes him proud to show off his strength, to remind you of his immense prowess and, by extension, his ability to defend you. He always puts in more effort when he knows you’re watching (he can’t help it: your adoring gaze is much too adorable to resist). He wouldn’t deny you if you asked him to train you, but he will remind you that you won’t ever need to pick up a sword as long as he breathes.

Nuala loves you!! She is so happy that her brother has found someone who cherishes him the way you do. She can’t hide her smile as she tells you that she has never seen her brother smile so much (which isn’t a lot, but for Nuada, it’s huge). She can feel how much you mean to him. She will want to get to know the person who has bewitched her brother body and soul (*wink wink*), so expect her to invite you to spend time with her to get to know you better. She grows to be really fond of your presence and of the joy that you bring. She is yours and Nuada’s number one fan.

Sometimes, Nuada just stares at you. He takes it all in: your beauty, your smile, your kindness - just you. He used to think that humans were hollow creatures, incapable of showing empathy or kindness towards anyone or anything. But then you came along. You, so sweet, so ready not to treat him differently because of his past or his actions. He never stood a chance.

When you two are alone, he’s all over you. His preferred form of physical affection is through spoiling you with soft, delicate touches that always leave you trembling and craving more of his warmth. He will tuck strands of hair behind your ear if he wishes to better see your beautiful eyes when you’re talking to him, only to peck your lips unexpectedly when the urge to be close to you overtakes him. He is a legendary warrior who is quick to bestow death upon his enemies, but with you, he is as gentle as a soft breeze. His gentleness is a stark contrast to his power, but wholly welcome.

He becomes quickly addicted to kissing you. Your lips are soft and heavenly, how can he resist? He will usually move his lips against yours slowly, savoring the moment, one big hand behind your head so he can kiss you to his heart’s content, and the other tucking you against his chest. He loves it: it reminds him that you’re safe with him, protected against all the evils in the world. He won’t let you go until you’re sighing in bliss against his lips.

He will let you braid and style his hair. He loves the feeling of your smaller fingers running through his hair. To be touched so softly after a lifetime of war is heavenly. And moreover, he has to admit that, even if you are not a professional, the hair styles you choose for him always suit him. He appreciates both simple updos and intricate braids – as long as he gets to feel your hands and spend time in your presence, he’s happy.

How could I forget his markings? Nuada will let you run the tips of your fingers over the markings over his nose and temple – he is proud of his heritage and even more proud of you accepting his culture. Similarly, he will let you explore his battle scars: they are reminders that he has fought many battles and won, and therefore they are a testament to his courage and strength.

He will tell you about his culture, his people, and his language. He will even try to teach you a few words in Elvish, loving the way his tongue sounds when spoken from your mouth (also, imagine him telling you how beautiful or amazing you are in Elvish, loving the way you have no idea that he’s saying such intimate things to you). He is very proud when you listen intently to his stories and ask questions. He will feel honored that you show this much interest for his culture, further solidifying his belief that you are the one he wants to spend his life with. Also, expect him to use so many pet names in Elvish!! And then he smirks when you ask him what they mean – you won’t get a response until he's kissed you tenderly, the meaning whispered against your lips soon after.

All in all, I think Nuada has a lot of love to give under all his layers of anger and anguish. He is a loyal partner and an exceptional friend, always ready to be your rock and to steady you when life becomes too tough. He is your watchful protector and your greatest ally 🤍.

#prince nuada #nuada #prince nuada x reader #nuada x reader #hellboy 2 #hellboy ii #hellboy #prince nuada x you #nuada x you #nuada imagines #prince nuada imagines #mywriting

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 10

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Warnings: smut (oral/m receiving), talks of period intercourse, detailed PTSD flashback, graphic death of character discussed, self-deprecating talk, language

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Author's Note: This is a heavy chapter--- Big time PTSD flashback so consider yourself warned! Also, I purposely chose to not use characters in the flashback from the movie Sand Castle. I just didn’t want to kill off anyone’s fave character, so we are going to pretend this flashback was another mission from another deployment right before Sy retired not related to the movie. It was just easier for my conscious to write it that way. 

Part 9

All night long I have nightmares about the war. I wake and try to reset myself like the therapist taught me with deep breathing, water, change of environment, etc.; but nothing is working. I maybe only get about 2 hours of sleep total and I’m exhausted. I still go on my run to try and exhaust myself even more so that maybe tonight I will pass out into a dreamless sleep. I try to fake enthusiasm for whatever Nana is rambling on about in her phone call to me on the way to work but I’m sure she can tell that I’m starting to spiral. Alex can tell that today is one of those days so he asks me if I’m good and when I grunt at him he keeps his distance. God, I’m an ass but I’m obviously not good and I just can’t talk to him about it. Nobody really understands except the boys that I was with when it happened and several of them are dead now. I’m supposed to be their leader and I feel like I should have my shit together. My nightmares continue to worsen throughout the week and I feel like I overcompensate by working harder or exerting myself in more difficult physical pursuits in hopes of tiring my body and my brain out. I forced myself to run four additional miles on Friday even though my leg quickly protested. I focused on pushing through the pain and ended up having to ice my leg after work.

Friday evening finally rolls around, and Emma shows up at the house as planned with a little overnight bag in tow and homemade banana pudding. I’m cooking us some chicken and veggies out back on the grill when she arrives and I feel like I calm a bit just being in her presence. She still looks absolutely adorable as she shows up wearing comfortable clothes-a tank top and soft shorts. I love that she’s feeling relaxed enough with me to just be her most authentic self. After we eat, I fill my belly up with her decadent dessert and I swear I see stars. She’s quite the chef; as if she needed any more of a direct line to my belly or my heart. Assuming she’s still on her period, I ask her if she’s feeling alright and she nods but doesn’t offer more. I suggest we get in bed and watch a movie and she gleefully agreed. We get all cozied up in bed and she chooses a rom-com to put on. Not my first choice, but I’ll do anything to make her smile like that. It’s nice having someone other than myself warm my bed. We fall asleep easily tangled in each other and I’m relieved that I have no nightmares. Maybe Emma is the cure to my nightmares? Or did I really succeed in tiring myself out enough that I slept too hard to dream. Either way, I’m not complaining.

Saturday morning. I wake up at my usual time and smile to myself at finally getting a decent night of sleep. I lay in bed watching my girl dream before I decide to get up and go for a run. If it’s the exercise that helped me sleep last night, I’m not going to miss the opportunity to do it again. I leave a little note on Emma’s nightstand and decide to only run two miles today so I don’t fuck up my leg more than I probably already have. When I get back home, Emma is still a mess of hair and sheets and I can tell that she never missed me. Her hair is halfway across her face, one of her breasts is almost spilling out of her twisted tank top, and the covers are tangled all in her legs which brings a smile to my face. For someone so effortlessly beautiful, she’s kind of a mess when she sleeps and I can’t help but find that to be one of the most endearing things ever. I attempt to take a quick shower and am surprised when ice cold hands wrap around my stomach as my eyes are closed under the spray of the water and I jump like a cat. 

“Damn woman! Your hands are ice cubes.” I say as she laughs uncontrollably.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says as she hugs me from behind. 

“I woke up and heard the shower running so I figured you wouldn’t mind if I joined you.” 

“Always, join me Sugar. My favorite showers are the ones with you.” I tell her as I turn around to see her. She’s got her beautiful hair tied up in a bun on top of her head and I shift her so that the water runs down her body to warm her up. I spy her adjust the temperature higher and I can’t help myself.

“What is it with women taking showers equivalent to the heat of lava?” She smiles.

“We are colder than you are. Gotta warm up somehow.” She presses a sweet kiss to my lips before turning around and washing her body. I can’t help but stand there like a creep watching her but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to see her wet and soapy.

“I hope you don’t mind that I hijacked your shower.” She smiled sweetly.

“Darlin’, I was done anyway. Now I’m just here for the show.” I arch my eyebrow at her as she spies my obvious erection.

“Let me help you.” She seductively suggests.

“I can help us both.” I offer but she shakes her head.

“Still on my period.” She replies without making eye contact.

“So?”

“We can’t have sex when I’m on my period!” She looks completely shocked.

“Says who? You know, sex actually helps relieves cramps.”  

“But..I might get blood on your…”

“Dick? What’s your point?”

“Isn’t that gross?” 

“Sugar, I told ya, I’m a man. A little blood isn’t going to scare me off. Now if you’re not interested because you don’t feel well or you just don’t want too, I have no problem with that. But, if you’re not interested because you think I’m going to be grossed out or something, I promise I won’t be. You can have me anytime you want, Sweetness. There’s no pressure either way. If you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t mention it again.”

“Maybe give me some time to come around to the idea of it. I’ve never really considered it as an option.”

“Sure thing, babygirl.”

“You are something else, Bear. You mean it when you said I can have you anytime I want?”

“Mmhmm.” I say as her fingertips trail down my abdomen and she wraps her hand around my throbbing cock.

“Can I taste you?”

“Always, but don’t feel like you have too. I’ll be alright if not.”

“I want too.” She says before pushing me towards the shower bench and taking me in her mouth. In no time at all, I’m coming down her throat after receiving one of the best blowjobs of my life. She has my legs trembling from the stimulation and I can’t help but caress her cheek and kiss her gently when I come back to reality.

“my EmKay.” I whisper as I kiss her tenderly.

“Your EmKay?” She asks. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Funny, I don’t remember being asked to be yours.” She haughtily replies.

“Ya’ ain’t going to make this easy on me, are ya?” Shit, what am I doing. I should have thought this through. She shouldn't want to be with me. The unreal blowjob has me not thinking clearly.

“Now why would I do that?” She retorts with a smile. I palm her cheek so that she’s looking right at me.

“Will you be my woman?” I ask seriously. Fuck it. Why not?

“Only if you’re my man.” 

“Well, I’ve been told that I’m a bear, but I’ll be your man too.” I joke before pressing my lips against Emma’s in a feverish kiss.

As the water gets cold, we finally climb out and get dressed for the day. I decide to take Emma out for breakfast at the diner in town before we go in search of furniture for her guest bedroom. Her parents are arriving next weekend and it was adorable when she shyly asked me if I’d be willing to meet them. I assured her that I’d be happy too and to just let me know when.

We spend a few hours at the furniture store where Emma purchases a matching bedroom set before going to a mattress store and trying out all of the mattresses to determine which would be a good purchase for her guest bedroom. They are able to deliver it same day which is nice so we pick a time for it to arrive that afternoon. We then head to a department store so she can pick out curtains, bed linens, and other odds and ends that I’m told a room requires like lamps and decorations. Being a single man for the majority of my adulthood that was mostly away in the military, I didn’t realize how much work women put into buying all of this shit. Why does she need the guest bath towels to match the hand towel in the bathroom? Or all of the little knick-knack items she bought to go on the dresser? I’m even more confused when she was discussing bed trains? No bed skirts. I’ve slept on friends couches without even a blanket but she’s really rolling out the red carpet for her parents. It’s a bit concerning if they are expecting all of this from their daughter who has lived here for under two months. Maybe they don’t expect it and she’s just trying to show them that she’s a capable adult who plans on settling here. I watch as she spends a small fortune trying to get everything in order for their visit. It’s obvious that she values their opinions. What if they don’t like me? I’m certainly different from the preppy type of guy that they’re used to seeing her with. I’m kind of rough around the edges and although I think I’m pretty smart, I certainly don’t hold advanced degrees. I’m broken from my thoughts when Emma asks my opinion about curtains. It’s sweet that she wants my opinion but I’m a fish out of water when it comes to decorating.

We load up all of the stuff and head back to Emma’s house where I get started hanging curtains as we wait on the furniture and mattress delivery. Emma orders us pizza and we munch on pizza and beer for a while. I’m regretting all of my additional workouts after I finally get the bed put together and the mattress put on it. Emma tried to help but she’s so little I didn’t want her to hurt herself so I ended up just man-handling it myself. She had washed the new bedding and put everything together before we took a look at it and she dove across the top of the bed. Emma patted the space beside her and I laid down next to her on top of the comforter. 

“I’m fucking exhausted and I didn’t even lift the heavy stuff.” She exhaled.

“I didn’t realize it was so much work to put together a bedroom. You sure know what you’re doing though.”

“Thank you. I just pick what I like. I couldn’t have done it all without you though, so thank you, baby. I can’t wait to have them visit and see that I’ve got my shit together here. That I’m not some dumb kid who needs rescuing. I’m able to handle myself.” Ahh, so I was right about that. It’s about proving herself to her parents.

“I think they’ll be impressed, Sugar. I know I am.” I smile at her before yawning.

She kisses my lips before scratching my beard gently. 

“Can we go back to yours, shower and then go to sleep? I’m dead on my feet.” She asks as she stands up and fluffs the new pillows. Why are there like 5 pillows that will just get thrown on the floor? Seems wasteful.

“You still want to come back to mine with me?”

She nods. “I want to be with you and the pups. Since they are at yours, it wouldn’t make sense to get them and come back here. I always sleep really good with you…Unless you’re too tired for a sleep over.” She says sheepishly and I wrap my arms around her.

“Nothing could be better than having my girl in my bed with me.” I tell her because I’m beginning to believe it’s the truth. “Let’s go.” 

We turn out all of the lights and lock up before heading back to mine. Emma’s car is still parked out front from where she left it and it makes me happy that she wants to be here with me. There’s a summer storm approaching and the wind has picked up which has Emma’s hair twirling in the breeze. I pull the patio cushions inside when I let the dogs out to do their business. After a quick shower because we are both too tired to do anything but clean ourselves, we do our nighttime routines before climbing into bed. Emma snuggles next to me with her head on my chest and I’m confident that it’s going to be a good night as we drift off to sleep.

It’s hot, but more than just hot. It’s sweltering. I can feel the sweat rolling down my chest and my back. It’s the type of unbearable heat that has your clothes sticking to your skin the instant you walk out of the mess hall. Then you add your gear, and the added weight from your gear plus your sweat soaked clothes is a certain feeling that I’ll never forget. I smell the smoke of an explosion further in the distance. We have our orders and it’s my job to lead our special forces team in to execute our orders exactly like planned. The problem with that is that most things never go as planned. It would be easy for this to be a cookie cutter mission where we get in and out and go back to base and fuck around for the rest of the afternoon. No, this will require me thinking on my feet at every turn. It’s what I’m trained for, hell, I’m the best which is why I’m the captain. I’ve got seven men with me whose lives rely on me assessing our situation and giving correct orders. They are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends who have people waiting on them at home. Each order I give is weighted by the knowledge that I’m responsible for them. We’re crouched in different positions behind the old dilapidated building that the informant said our guy would be in. The sun is glaring across our faces but we’re in the best position we could be in for this mission. We’ve been after this specific hostile for months and never been this close to him before. We can hear men inside the building, yelling in Arabic and moving around so we must remain completely silent. If we can hear them, they could hear us. We are ghosts that can’t be seen or heard but must work as a team for this to go smoothly. If one person spots us, it will turn into a close-range gun fight that I can’t imagine we will all win. I inhale deeply and even though there is dust on every inch of myself and the ground, I try to focus my thoughts. 

As I am about to give orders to direct my guys to move on to the next step of our plan, I hear the tell-tale whistle of a bullet zipping through the air. I swivel to the left with my gun and look for the insurgent. I can’t see anyone but the bullet buries itself in the left shoulder of Waites across the way from me. We were fucking set up. I swing my gun back around and that’s when it happens, I hear the bullet and feel it explode into my lower left thigh at the same time blood spews from my friend, Goodwin’s head who had crouched beside me when I stood to look for the shooter. My leg gives out and I instantly drop down into the dirt to where I’m level with Goodwin’s face and it’s obvious, he was killed instantly. His eyes are still opened and he has a massive wound to the head. Anthony. Fuck. His girlfriend is expecting a baby girl in a few months. My leg is burning from the inside out but my adrenaline spike helps me ignore the pain and I grab my gun and instantly start shooting towards the rooftop where I believe the sniper might be. I hear Brown screaming before I realize he’s got Waites against the building and is yelling into the radio for help. I watch as insurgents start coming out of the building we were casing and I start taking them out. Lowell goes down. Setas is either hurt or attempting to provide aid to Lowell. I can’t tell but I never stop shooting. Ramirez is also trying to find the source of the ambush with his own gun. Bullets are flying, many from my own gun as I empty the clip into the only building the sniper could have been on, Browns pleas for backup, along with Waites heavy gurgling breaths fill my ears. I feel a hand on my arm and flinch.

            “Austin! Captain…Captain Syverson. Look at me.” Two hands on either side of my face help me focus in. “St..Stand down. You are safe, the threat has been eliminated. Your superiors have given orders to return to base for further instruction. Do you understand?” 

I blink against the water that’s dripping down my face. Emma?

“My men. The injured men in my unit. Where?”

“They are at base getting medical. Captain, I need you to confirm that you understand me.”

I blink and then nod slowly. “Roger that.” I mutter distractedly. I look around. I’m in the backyard of my house, leaning against the brick exterior in my underwear. I have my pistol tucked in the back of the waistband of my boxers and I’m wearing the boots I leave by the back door. In my hands I’m clutching my old hunting rifle that I keep on the top shelf of my closet. Shit. I’ve done it again. I’ve had a PTSD nightmare, but this is so much worse because Emma is here to witness it. I look over at her. She’s crouching on her knees in front of me wearing nothing but my water-soaked t-shirt and panties while she’s barefoot in the mud. Water is dripping from the ends of her hair from the rain that’s pouring down on us. She looks terrified and concerned. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” My throat aches either from unshed tears or maybe I was yelling earlier.

“Austin, baby, are you back?”

I nod. “Emma, I’m so sorry.” I mutter as tears mix with the rain that drips down my face. This is what I was afraid would happen if I got close to her. If I let her in. I would relax and then my past would quite literally present itself.

“Baby, don’t be. You’re okay, we’re okay.” She tells me as she reaches towards my face that’s now aimed at the ground.

“Aika?” 

“I left her inside. I know you said she could help but I wasn’t able to tell if your rifle was loaded and I didn’t want her startling you and there being an accident.” 

Jesus. She was afraid I’d shoot my own dog, because she’s right, I was nowhere near my right mind. Here we are over six months since my last flashback yet this was the most involved PTSD episode I’ve ever had. Thank fuck I keep my ammunition locked and separate from my guns for situations like this. 

She stands and reaches to help me up but I can’t let her help me stand. My leg feels as though it has been shot just yesterday but that could be a result of me crouching on my knees in freezing rain outside in the middle of the night, not just the psychological pain from my flashback. 

“Come on baby.” She takes the rifle from my hand and I don’t protest. I follow her silently back to the house. The air conditioning on our soaked skin has both of our bodies covered in goose bumps. Aika bounds to me whining and crying and I sit down in a chair from the table and run my hands through her thick fur. I bury my face into her back and focus on breathing. My palm clutches my leg that’s radiating phantom pain from where I got shot. Emma appears next to me with a towel but hesitates. 

“Can I help you clean up a bit?” She gestures with the towel.

I nod and she leans down and starts wiping the mud off of my legs. 

“Sugar, I…”

“Baby, nothing needs to be said. I’m okay, and you are going to be. Would you take a warm shower with me?” I look at her and want to just burst into tears. How is she so kind and understanding after what I just did? After what I could have done?

“Please?” She urges and I nod. I follow her to the master bathroom and watch as she turns the water on. Aika stays close and sits down behind me in the bathroom floor. I have no idea what time it is in the night or early morning or how long she’s been awake dealing with me. Emma pulls out two fresh towels for us and then whips the sodden shirt off of her torso before removing her panties. She looks at me and then slowly and gently eases my soaked boxer briefs down my legs before taking my hand and pulling for me to get in the shower. Once I step in, steam surrounds me and I take a deep breath. I’m exhausted, flashbacks always take the energy out of me and it’s not like I’ve been sleeping great this past week. Emma begins lathering a wash cloth with soap and gently starts cleaning me. I stand there perfectly still and let her do what she wants as I attempt to think of anything that I could say to make this situation better. I’m aching with embarrassment. Once she washes me, she quickly washes herself before turning around and caressing her hand on my cheek. She leans down and picks up my wrists that were laying limp by my sides and wraps them around her waist before putting her own around my neck. My eyes are aimed down focusing on the suds swirling around the shower drain.

“Baby, look at me.” She says with the sincerest and worried look on her face and that’s when my resolve breaks. I bury my face into her neck as the hot tears stream from my eyes. I can’t seem to stop them and I ache when I hear myself let out a sob that sounds so painful and broken even to my own ears. Emma tightens her arms around me and guides me back to the bench that we once used for a much different form of intimacy. Emma curls herself around me and holds me tightly while I fully break down. Once my breath starts to come easier, I carefully pull my head from her shoulder and try to clean my face up.

“Let’s dry off and lay down.” She says as she turns off the water and starts toweling me off. I gently take the towel from her, not wanting to be babied but not wanting to seem ungrateful. Once we dry off, Emma hands me some boxers and she tosses on a dry shirt and panties on before we sit on the bed. It’s silent and I feel like I have to say something.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be thinkin’ but I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I woke you, scared you and I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I completely understand if this is the last time I see you.” I say quietly and she looks shocked.

“Austin, I’m not going anywhere. This is what relationships are about. Holding each other through the good and bad. I’m not scared and you’re not fucked up. You’re haunted and although I don’t know the details of it, I want to help you through it. Even if you don’t want my help, I’m not leaving you.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should be better. I survived, Damnit! I shouldn’t have any problems. Goodwin, Lowell, Waites, they are the ones who died. I just got shot in my stupid fucking leg after leading them to their deaths!” I sob.

“You are allowed to have problems. Their deaths are hard on you but you are not responsible for it. I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s not your fault.”

“The informant set us up, we were ambushed. Goodwin, God. Goodwin got shot right in front of me. I watched the life drain from his eyes. He has a little girl that he’s never met. If I had questioned the mission from my superiors or done more digging on the informant, they would all be alive right now. I had to look at their family members at their funerals and I’ll never forget the grief from their loved ones. Goodwin’s pregnant girlfriend, Lowell’s widow, Waites’ mom. I still see them sobbing over their caskets in my mind. I didn’t deserve to live when they didn’t get too.” I finally say out loud. I take deep breaths attempting to calm my body from going into another spiral.

“Bear.” Emma reaches for me.

“It’s been years and I still get like this. Hell, it might be getting worse. I don’t think this is something I’ll just get over. I’m too fucked up, Emma. You deserve someone who doesn’t have these types of demons.” My eyes blink heavily.

“You are not fucked up. I deserve you because you treat me better than I’ve ever been treated before.” My eyes droop and I know it’s a result of the flashback. When I have them, my body goes through the trauma all over again so when the adrenaline finally stops coursing through my body, I basically crash.

“Love, you look exhausted. Can you try to sleep for me?” She asks and gently pushes for me to lay down. My head is resting between her breasts as she lays back on her back. We’ve never laid like this before but it’s comforting.

“I’m right here, I’m not leaving. Aika’s here and so is Mills.” She tells me while caressing my head but my eyes are already closed, too heavy to fight staying open longer. I wrap my arm around her waist and within moments, I’m deeply asleep soothed by the steady rhythm of Emma’s heartbeat as she caresses my scalp.

Part 11

Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood

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[islandoforder]

Hi just properly scrolled through your blog for the first time and wanted to ask a question:

Re: Riz should be class president post from over a week ago - why should it be Riz over Kristen now that the class president position has stakes? Is it because of Kristen’s inconsistent access to her spells in case she needed to defend herself? I’d love to hear more about your thought process regarding this - assuming your opinion hasn’t changed since making that post.

My thoughts personally are that character-wise, it makes more sense to me for Riz to be the one strategizing as the campaign manager, because he’s the one actually finding a lot of the traps the Rat Grinders have put out for them.

Whereas Kristen makes more sense to me as a candidate purely because of her charisma and good radar for social bs - her weakness, of course, being that she’s a bit of a wild card in her choices regarding the campaign. But at the same time, she’s been able to get away with wearing a soggy salsa hat in front of the entire student body and still maintain some chance for the candidacy.

Obviously, I’m ignoring the more mechanical aspects of this comparison. If that’s what you were referring to in your original post idk then. I’m still wrapping my head around how Riz rolls so well now, level 10 dnd shit is way over my head.

Sorry if this was long, I just wanted to express my thoughts as well as hear yours! Idk how far away we are from getting back to the campaign to class president, who knows what happens after they get back from fallinel!

hi! sorry this is such a late reply, i've been away and i wanted to watch the new ep before i started posting about anything d20 in case of unintentional spoilers haha

so i think part of it is that, imho, brennan intended the class president arc to be riz's:

kipperlily is a rogue, v type a, and a narrative foil to riz, and this would have directly pitted them against one another

riz needed extra credit things for his college app, like being involved in student govt/being student president

there's also something about kipperlily being fundamentally riz but richer

kristen's arc was clearly always going to be about cassandra, trying to regain her favour, or increase her popularity, or resurrect her

nara is the kristen foil this season (once again, kristen but richer)

everyone has like an individual arc this season except for riz, bc his was supposed to be student president

beyond all of this, i don't actually think kristen is able to take the student president stuff too seriously - every time she tries, she ends up doing a bit instead, at the steel workers union, at the middle school, even at the party. i actually think if riz was the candidate, he would manage himself, in the same way that fabian wanted to be the party house and arranges that himself, and adaine needed a job and worked on and got that herself. so like i agree that he's the best campaign manager, but that doesn't preclude him from being the best candidate as well??

also, frankly, a lot of the good social graces kristen has had this year are from riz putting in the hard work - him joining all the clubs and making those connections, him taking stress to give her more popularity, his own popularity, etc.

like i'm enjoying the silliness of kristen's campaign, but i'm kind of with sklonda on this - riz would be a better candidate, and it is to some degree a shame that he's putting this much effort into running a campaign for someone else. if they legit need the student body president bc they'll become proxy headmaster, then i think a more serious campaign with riz at the helm and finally having his time in the spotlight is not a bad idea!!

#elijahtries #chatting away #riz gukgak #brian murphy #kristen applebees #ally beardsley #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #fhjy #like i'm def enjoying this unhinged and not always logical campaign but it does make more sense to be riz on a couple of diff levels i thin #it's too late now i'm p sure #but he does deserve it!! #kipperlilly copperkettle #brennan lee mulligan

[sassykattery]

Rites and Rituals, Pt. 4

Welcome to Part 4

CW: MC is afab, uses she/her pronouns. MC is a demon and poly. Use of gendered spousal and titled words toward reader [princess, queen, wife]. *Smut scene: mirror sex, dom reader for a little bit, choking, then sub reader, creampie, some praise/reassurance fluff.

Themes: Romance. Wedding. Sex. DiavoloxMC. Fluff.

Characters: [new oc] Nyx, MC="you", Diavolo

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy

"Good afternoon, Mistress MC, I'll be the designer for your gowns," the demon before you said. They were the top designer from Majolish, and Diavolo had them outsourced for you. Nyx was a tall, slender lust demon and genderfluid, so they were androgynous in overall body shape, with russet brown skin and deep amber eyes. Their short sky-blue hair quaffed over one side of their face, slightly curled at the ends. Nyx was beautiful and well-dressed as a top designer should be.

You two were in the upstairs office of Majolish, surrounded by designs, walls of fabrics, and more shoes than a person could know what to do with.

"Ah, it's nice to meet you, Nyx. I have several drawings here for you, and we can collaborate on a final design," you said, sliding some papers over to them.

"Ah! Wonderful," Nyx said. "It's not often I'm placed with somebody who already knows what they want. So, you need four gowns then, yes? Two for each ceremony?"

"Yes, I want one for each ceremony and reception," you replied.

Nyx took your binder and began sorting through your ideas. "Excellent. Well, based on your drawings, I think I can certainly work with what you have envisioned. Tell me, mistress, what are you thinking for the vibe you'd like to have?"

You pulled out your wedding binders for each wedding, describing in great detail what you had envisioned, and then showed pictures of everything you had come up with so far. Nyx was impressed.

"My, my, MC, you are something. I do believe you and I will work well together on this. Shall we go ahead and start pinning fabrics so I may get to know your body shape better?" You nodded and the two of you got to work.

"Might I see your demon form for this? I need to fit the gowns around your wings," Nyx asked. You phased into it as asked, and they continued pinning fabrics onto you. Then they chuckled.

"What is it?" You asked nervously.

"Ah, you'll have to excuse me. I see now why you're considered the most tempting being in the Devildom," they replied.

"I'm what?" You inquired, confused.

"Dear, you didn't know? Even as a human, I knew about your presence, and when I saw you in the store here with Asmodeus, I couldn't help but agree. As a demon now? You're just as irresistible. Lord Diavolo and Lucifer are quite lucky indeed," Nyx stated. They continued measuring and pinning as they spoke. "You see, for most of us demons, we come in a variety of sizes, colors, and heights, and our perception of beauty is quite different from humans. But we all still look quite the same: muscular, tall, fit, it's how we are able to do our jobs as demons, and live in general. Humans are intriguing, how soft and fragile they can be. All of us are beguiled by you in particular, as you still appear as you did as a human."

Though your vanity was soaring at their words, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"I apologize if I offended you," Nyx said, seeing your expression and standing in your rapid silence.

"No! Sorry, no, not at all. I just... as a human, I didn't understand why I received as much attention as I did. Though now, it seems like it's calmed down since I'm a demon," you replied.

"Oh, that's because you're an Avatar and betrothed to not only the prince but also the most powerful brother. Though, there's something to be said about no longer having a soul everyone was pining for. Regardless, there will always be those who love you in secret, but now it will be rare for someone to try anything with you, lest they're actually that stupid," Nyx chuckled at the end. "And done, this will help me pattern all of your garments."

Carefully, Nyx pulled you out of your cocoon of fabrics and set it aside. "Now, let's get to work!" They said while clapping each syllable out.

-

"How was the design appointment?" Diavolo asked from his desk, still looking down at his papers.

"It went well, I liked Nyx a lot," you replied quietly.

"Ah, yes. Nyx actually designed many of the outfits in your closet," Diavolo stated.

You were silent, staring at the prince. A question weighed in your mind. Though he wouldn't have known it, the silence was heavy for you as you considered this idea.

"Do you miss me being human?"

The prince froze, processing your tone and question. He slowly put his papers down and looked up at you, noting your hands behind your back, knowing you were no doubt fiddling with your fingers in anxiousness. He beckoned you with his index finger. Complying, you came around his desk and sat on his awaiting lap. His hands planted firmly on your hips.

"What is troubling you?"

"I just couldn't help but wonder if you didn't fall in love with me because I was human and... different from what you normally encountered," you stated, trying to word it carefully.

Diavolo considered your words cautiously, wondering what it was you were really asking. Before answering, he needed more information.

"What's bringing this on?"

"Nyx said something about why I received more attention as a human than I do now as a demon," you replied. "It feels... objectifying. It sounds like I was being fetishized."

His gaze went askance momentarily before meeting yours again. "Your humanity is something I treasured, but you being human wasn't what made me fall in love with you, no," he answered slowly. "Now, I won't lie to you, there are those who simply saw you as an exotic; we are demons after all, and I'm not blind to what others have said about you." Giving it a bit more thought, he sighed. "Recently I asked Barbatos about this very thing, if things were not easier when you were human, but he helped me realize that I simply am not used to having a partner, not just a lover."

You looked just a smidge hurt by his words, and he rushed to console you. "I didn't mean to offend you, it was a moment of weakness I had, not because of anything you did. I'm not entirely used to being this close to anyone. Forgive me," he pleaded, taking your hand and pulling it to his chest. You nodded, understanding.

He looked you over and had an idea. "I think I could take a break, why don't you come with me?"

You hopped off his lap, and Diavolo led you by the hand, out of his office and into his bedroom. At the foot of his bed, he stopped and turned, holding your hands.

"Can I show you something?" He asked. You nodded.

Following his motions, he turned you around, so your back was to him. You heard a snap and a full-length mirror appeared in front of you. He nudged you forward just a tiny bit and stood behind you.

"My darling," he said in a low voice, "I think it's my duty to remind you of something."

You looked at each other through the mirror. His hands snaked their way around your waist, sliding down to your shirt hem, and then curling his fingers underneath to slowly pull it up. Instinctively, your arms went up, letting him take it all the way off. You watched as he continued to disrobe you, and when your pants and panties pooled around your feet, you gently kicked them away and stood bare before yourself and your betrothed.

"You see," he said, as he pushed himself directly behind you, so you could feel his voice rumbling in his torso against your back as he spoke, "I love every inch of this." He dragged a finger lightly across your collarbone, down your sternum, around your breasts, down your stomach, and then up your neck to stop at your lips before finally dropping his hand.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the first time we made love, after our first date. I was quite nervous, because I just wanted to please you," he stated, a smile gracing his lips. "And then when I saw all of you, completely naked below me, it was all I could do to not simply worship you." His hands then purchased your hips, his fingers digging into your plush flesh.

"I am most fond of that memory, because I always feel that same excitement when I see you, such as I do now, in all of your raw beauty before me, ad I am someone so undeserving of it," he continued.

His hands gracefully glided up your sides, coming around to your back and up your shoulders to rest at your biceps. "Yes, indeed, you were simply gorgeous as a human," he concluded. He whispered, "Now shift."

You shifted to your demon form as requested. "But this..." he said, his hands running down your wings, fingers grazing through your midnight blue feathers. "This is most beautiful to me. An immortal who strives for perfection, admiration, vanity, and accomplishment, I could think of no better fit for my wife and queen. So carefully and wonderfully made, how striking you look in this way." When his hands reached the base of your wings, where they met your skin, you shuddered, feeling the hot electricity coursing through your nerves.

"Close your eyes," he ordered. When you did, you heard another snap. "Now open," he said.

You opened your eyes to see in the mirror that Diavolo was in his demon form as well, and you could look and feel that he was fully nude now too. You collapse your wings, and he wrapped one arm around your torso, and his other hand took yours and held it out, as if you two were dancing, but standing still.

"One of my own kind, and so beautiful. You are truly unparalleled, princess, and I'll never again love another as I have loved you. We never have to say goodbye, we never have to part, and I can show you the limitlessness of my love for you," he murmured. He leaned down to your ear, "Understand?"

"Yes," you whispered in awe, watching his golden eyes as they watched your own.

*"Now," he muttered, "I'm afraid I can't let you go now. Both of us are standing here together like this..." He then nuzzled his head against yours. "I need you."

He left you to lie down, but when you turned you saw his head laying at the foot of the bed, he beckoned you over. Coming around, you climbed onto the bed and onto your lover, straddling his hips. His cock was hard and waiting for you.

"I want you to watch yourself as you ride me," he said with an ornery grin.

You looked up at the mirror ahead of you, and it was rather erotic to see yourself on top of the Demon Lord like this, both of you in your demon forms. Looking back down, you watched his expression as you slid yourself back, his cock gliding into your folds and rubbing against your clit. Your hands planted on his chest, you ground yourself into him, relishing the sensation of his cock, and then all at once you shifted forward and back to fully take him into your pussy.

"Ah, MC," he said, breathless. He brought up his hand to push your chin up, so you'd watch the mirror again. His hands went to your hips, guiding you into a rhythm that had you both panting.

You watched as your breasts bounced up and down, your hips rocking forward and back, over and over. Sitting up, you continued to rock yourself into sweet bliss with one hand placed on his lower abdomen to keep you steady. In this moment, you were sexy, riding the crowned prince of the Devildom, having him at your mercy. He was yours, and seeing you claim him like this drove something darker in you.

Keeping your head up, your eyes flitted down, looking at Diavolo over your nose. He noticed the change in demeanor, the dark lust and hunger in your eyes.

"You're mine, and always will be," you said to him in a smokey voice.

A smirk graced his lips, "All yours, my princess," he replied huskily.

"Better get used to calling me your queen," you said forcefully. Your hand shot down to his throat, causing you to lean over slightly, and you squeezed it.

"Ah-haha, MC," he tried to say. Diavolo rather liked this side of you, the demoness he suspected that lie in wait for a long time, burning to be let out of her cage within your mind.

"Try again," you demanded, lightly releasing your hold.

"My queen, I'm yours," he choked out. One of his hands left your hips and grabbed a hold of your arm that was extended to his neck.

"That's better," you said with a smirk of your own. Your hips rocked faster, chasing your pleasure. "Oh, my king," you purred. Now he moaned, hearing your words as you rode him harder. Your hold on his neck tightened again, and you looked up again at the mirror.

The sight before you sent you over the edge. It was erotic, to choke the prince and domineer for once. This was your vanity: to see satisfaction in yourself, as you took what you wanted, how you wanted, and you loved the power that coursed through you.

"Oh-ah, fuck, Dia-" you stammered, feeling the heat rise from your toes. Your internal coils were coming undone, and it was all you could do to stay upright as the fires of pleasure shot up your spine, tingling all the way up to your neck. A mindless scream escaped your lips, your cries echoing in the room. You released your hold on his throat and just tried to stay upright as you rode yourself into bottomless pleasure. Your partner helped by guiding your hips, thrusting himself into you.

"That's it, MC, my love, cum on me," he muttered to you. Your juices ran down your thighs and soaked his groin and the sheets below. A little whimper burned at your tongue, and your climax finally released you, letting you fall limp onto Diavolo.

"Mm, that was so good," he whispered into your hair, his hands carding through your hair and rubbing your upper back.

With his arms wrapped around you, he rolled you both over so that he was on top, and you two laid like that for a few moments as you calmed down some more.

Once your breathing evened out, he pulled himself up, looking down at your frame. "So perfect," he murmured, his lids lowered and eyes full of warm desire. He sat up onto his knees, pulling your legs around his hips. His hands started at your breasts, and drug their way up your limbs, wanting to feel all of you. Bringing one leg up over his shoulder, he hovered back over you and slid his cock into you once more, one arm holding him up above you. His thrusts were slow, gentle, easy.

It was his turn to look in the mirror ahead, and it was so hard for him to not lose control then, seeing where his cock was sliding in and out of you, or how you looked beneath him. You looked up through hazy eyes, watching him look up at the mirror. It was just as hot to you to look at him while he was transfixed on the image ahead. He truly was magnificent to you; unlike any person you'd ever met. Feeling more emotional now, your hand shot up to cup his face, causing him to look down at you again.

"I love you," you said breathlessly.

"And I love you, my queen," he murmured, smiling lustfully at you. He leaned down to kiss you sweetly, and when he pulled away, you saw a rather naughty thought run across his mind, giving way to his expression. His eyes flickered up to the mirror again and back to you.

"What is it?" you whispered.

"Turn over for me," he whispered in reply. He withdrew from you and held himself up over you.

You did as instructed, knowing what it was he wanted. Pulling your knees up, you lifted your ass into the air, and in the mirror ahead you could watch as Diavolo took in your body, displayed just so erotically for him. His eyes finally landed on yours, and that awful smirk gave way to a rather ominous smile that showed his fangs. Oh, is all you could think in that moment.

Once he positioned himself behind you, his hips snatched a hold of your hips in a grip so mean you'd think he was angry. His hard cock was rubbing against your pussy, the head resting just on your clit.

"Hands," he ordered.

You carefully laid your head down on the mattress, resting on one cheek, and reached both arms back. He snatched them into one hand, able to hold both in just one of his, keeping his other hand on your hip. He then pulled you up, the tension in your arms being connected with his was enough to keep your upper body up. You looked up into the mirror, and with no hesitation, he slipped his cock back inside of your cunt. He wanted to see your expression as he did so.

"Oh!" You whimpered.

"Look at me," Diavolo ordered. Your eyes flitted up to his. His lips curled to see your desperate face. "Let me show you what it means to be dominant," he stated. Your eyes widened, much to his pleasure.

He set a relentless pace of blowing your back out, his thrusts hard and brutal. With every hard smack of his hips against yours, you cried out in ecstasy. It was even more erotic to see it all happening before you in the mirror. How his large hand encapsulated both your own, the muscles in his arm flexed to hold you up. Or how with every slam of his hips, you shot forward, but not too far as he kept you close with his other hand on your hip. It all had you keening for more, your walls tightening with juices pouring over the backs of your thighs.

"You like this, don't you?" Diavolo chuckled. Your eyes flitted up to his dark and lustful golden ones.

"Y-Yes!" You stammered. He wasn't letting up.

"Now, do you believe me when I tell you," he grunted, "that I love you, and that there will never be another as precious to me?"

"Yes," you cried.

"Say it," he growled.

"I believe you!" You wailed as he drilled your cunt that much harder, throwing you into another fitful orgasm. Your whole body was rigid as the waves took over, with your walls becoming impossibly tight around his cock. He groaned to feel your cunt milking him for everything he had. It was more than enough to send him spiraling down the same chasm of pleasure, making him grunt and moan as he released inside of you.

He fell forward on top of you, wrapping an arm over your waist and abdomen to keep you slightly up. His labored breaths were hot on your neck, nuzzling his face into the back of your head and in your hair.

"I love you," he rasped, planting light kisses across your neck.

"I love you too," you whispered. He hummed and gently released you as you steadied yourself with your arms. Carefully, you lowered yourself down to the mattress, and he followed suit to partially lay on top of you, holding your back against his chest as he wormed his arm underneath you.

Feeling comfortable, warm, and cuddly, both of you drifted off into slumber, small smiles adorning your faces in blissful peace.

---

Thanks for reading! <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @itsmeninerz @themythicaldisaster @obeymediasimp @frozengoldie @flemmingbamse @marvelous-maniac

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #love-eternal #obey me diavolo #obey me smut #diavolo smut #diavolo x female reader

[wonsheep]

TIME: 3:26 AM

TITLE: into you

series masterlist

featuring | park jongseong (jay)

warnings | alcohol consumption, reader was tipsy before kissing, but sobers up, lmk if i should add anything!

genre | fluff

word count | 762 words

a/n | i'm in love with jay, also this is not proof-read, i'm sorry

------------------

The muffled sounds of music blaring from the club accompany you and Jay on the dimly lit streets. You only started enjoying yourself in there, moving your body to the rhythm between the sweaty bodies of the club attendees around you.

But at this moment, you are standing outside with this young man known as your closest friend, your ears are ringing a little and you feel a little light-headed. Jay holds onto your arms so as to steady your slightly wobbly form and you whine.

“The party only begun like,” You flick your head to the side to get some hair out of your face. “This second.”

“No, it ended just now.” Jay sighs, used to this. “You’ve already had too much.”

“I’m not even drunk.” You whine, tugging Jay with you towards the source of deep bass thumping. “C’mon, Jay, you’re no fun.”

“I’m really just trying to keep you safe here.” Jay’s grasp on you stays firm, but gentle. The skin is warm on your arms where this fingers are holding onto you.

“If you’re so worried, why did you agree to coming here in the first place…”

Jay pretends to think for a second, but he knows the answer already.

He wasn’t able to resist your pleading. He never was, not even at the start of your friendship, but as he started feeling closer to you, then attracted, your effect on him only grew tenfold.

Obviously, Jay did not plan on falling for you – someone he felt might be unattainable and his complete opposite in personality, but alas, no one had the ability to choose who their heart yearns for.

So he is stuck in the friendzone, a place where he put himself in the first place. He tries to pass it off as him being a protective friend, but really, it’s obvious to all his friends that he has feelings for you.

“Mmh. I know now.” A lopsided smile makes its way onto your face as you finally straighten up from your hunched-over position.

You lean dangerously close to Jay’s parted lips and you whisper.

“You’re into me.”

A moment of silence passes. Jay’s breath is caught in his throat. He feels as if the world has stopped around him, leaving him and you in this very place in time forever. The noises from the club, the chatter of a few people walking by, the howling of a dog from afar, everything seems to be muted.

Jay looks at you, really looks. Your eyes are sparkling at him, the dim, warm tones of the streetlamps around illuminate your face and he thinks he’s wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.

You start laughing a second after, moving away from his face, as if you’ve just told the best joke of year or the century, even.

“’M just kidding.” You sigh, almost as if you’re disappointed by his lack of response. “I know you don’t like me like that.”

“And who told you that?” Jay finds his voice again, moving his hands so that he’s holding onto your wrists now, softer than before.

“Huh? I thought- I know you see me as a friend.”

“How are you so sure?” It’s Jay’s turn to crowd into your space now, leaning closer, meeting your confused gaze with determined eyes.

You don’t have a reply to that.

If you hadn’t sobered up until now, Jay’s warm palm sliding up your arm and only stopping to rest on your cheek would have removed any effect the alcohol had on you.

Jay darts his eyes around your face, searching for a sign that you wanted him to stop and move as far away from you as possible, but he only finds an amused glint to your stare.

Still, you’re the one who makes the final move to close the space between your bodies. You press your chest to Jay’s and your lips to his plump ones. Your hands find their way to the nape of his neck, caressing the hair growing there.

The kiss doesn’t last long by any means, but mere minutes feel like hours with Jay pulling you impossibly closer to him, as if he was trying to touch every part of you at once.

You two part after a while, just staring at each other in dazed silence.

“I guess you really are into me.” You smile with adoration.

“As you are into me.” Jay mimics your expression, but doesn’t let you say anything else as he leans in to kiss you again, as long as you’ll let him.

------------------

permanent taglist |

@soobin-chois

#our every minute 💟 #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen jay #jay x reader #jongseong x reader #enhypen timestamps #enhypen headcanons #park jongseong #enhypen jay x reader #jay x you #jongseong x you #enhypen x gender neutral reader #jay fluff #enhypen soft hours #enhypen soft thoughts #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines

[arcadiabaytornado]

Life Is Strange Ending Idea’s

Life Is Strange is one of my favorite games of all time, but I have mixed feelings about the ending. The choices you make don’t matter, and they don’t play into how the game ends. You can disagree with Chloe 100% of the time and still save her, or you can agree with her 100% of the time and still sacrifice her. That’s not how I think the game should end, so instead I’ve come up with ending idea’s that tie into the choice system.  

Sacrifice Chloe:

You can get this ending by disagreeing with Chloe for most of the game, and then choosing to make a sacrifice to save Arcadia Bay. Depending on if you kissed Chloe earlier, you either get a hug or a kiss before traveling back in time. This ending plays out like it would if you sacrificed Chloe in the game.

Long Post Undercut:

Sacrifice Max:

You can get this ending by agreeing with Chloe for most of the game, and choosing to make a sacrifice to save Arcadia Bay. Max won’t admit her plans to Chloe, but she will tell her that she’s the strongest person Max knows. She says that it’s going to be okay, and apologizes once again for abandoning her best friend with the butterfly blue hair. 

With this said, Max kisses/hugs Chloe and goes back in time. She yells out to Nathan when he pulls out the gun, getting herself killed in Chloe’s place. 

The timestream changes with this event. We see a picture of Chloe getting shot being burnt away and replaced with a picture of Chloe holding her childhood friend’s body. You see Nathan being interrogated by police, and Chloe watching Mark getting arrested for indirectly killing both loves of her life. Joyce then holds her as she cries on her bed, and David watches from the doorway realizing that he’s been a major asshole to her. Those pictures then fade to show Chloe wearing Max’s grey hoodie and meeting with Warren and Kate to celebrate Max’s life. The final two pictures are of Chloe taking a selfie with Max’s camera and Chloe standing near the cliffside in funeral attire. 

During the funeral, Chloe glances up to see two transparent does in the forest. They stare at her as she smiles their way, thinking about her doe-like former best friend as the screen fades to black. 

For the final scene, you get a time skip to Chloe graduating with a degree on an ambiguous subject. She’s shown acting friendly/flirty with a girl her age, showing she once again has caring people in her life. Despite everything she’s gone through, Chloe will be okay. 

Sacrifice Arcadia Bay:

This ending could stay the same as it does in the game. If Max agrees with Chloe most of the time, she’ll unlock with option and sacrifice the town to be with her. The only thing I’d change from the original game is a small cutscene after they drive off from Arcadia Bay. 

Max and Chloe can be seen sitting in her truck under the night sky. They either share a kiss or hold hands depending on if you kissed Chloe in Episode 3. 

Rachel And Chloe:

This is an ending where Rachel and Chloe survive, but it’s not without major consequence. This would be defying Rachel’s fate after all, and since the other endings aren’t completely happy neither is this one. Also I feel like this would be the hardest to achieve ending. 

To get this ending, you need to make certain dialogue choices through the game. EVERYTIME Max has the option to bring up Rachel she needs to take it, until the point it’s clear that she’s just as invested in Rachel as Chloe. If you pick all the dialogue correctly, you can bring Rachel back, but at the cost of the town and Max. 

I don't know exactly how exactly Rachel would be brought back. This is just throwing around fun idea’s. However, Max somehow is able to go back in time to the day Rachel vanished. She’s quick to find her, and warn the popular girl that Nathan is dangerous. Rachel isn’t totally on board with this idea, but she recognizes Max from Chloe talking about her. Because of this, she goes off to find Chloe and tell her that her former best friend is back in town. Thus setting off a timeline where Rachel survives. 

But Max doesn’t. The strain from time traveling so far is to much for her body, and it gives out as soon as Rachel walks away. She dies in the middle of campus, but it’s not enough to expose Nathan and Mark for their crimes. They don’t get legal punishment in this ending, but they do die in the storm. 

The timestream changes from Chloe being shot, to Rachel comforting her by the lighthouse. Then a picture is shown of the girls playing with David’s gun in the junkyard, before the next picture shows them train hopping. You see Rachel and Chloe playing in ocean, before you see Chloe taking pictures of a posing Rachel with Max’s camera. Then you see Chloe attending Max’s funeral, only for that picture to be burned away and replaced by one with Chloe and Rachel standing in the storm. 

The storm destroys Arcadia Bay, leaving Rachel and Chloe as the only one’s standing. In a parallel to the bae ending, Chloe and Rachel drive away from Arcadia Bay and finally escape the town they hated. 

Stuck Between Realties:

You get this ending if you’re a terrible investigator. If you didn’t touch Dana’s pregnancy test, didn’t find David’s files, didn’t hear the phone message from the cops, didn’t find Nathan’s pin code, and didn’t find David’s locker code, you’ll get this ending. Max will refuse to make a sacrifice. She doesn’t understand anything that’s happening and feels left without answers. Max will yell she needs more time to think and rewind. Except she keeps rewinding farther than she’s ever gone before. Only when she stops does Max realize she’s trapped in a blank space in between realties, never to go home.  

New World:

You can only get this ending if you're a fantastic investigator. If you touch Dana's test, find David's files, heard the phone message from the cops, found Nathan's pin code, and found David's locket code, this is the ending you get. Max won't be willing to make a sacrifice. She's lost so much this week and found out so many dark secrets. She can't lose Chloe and her childhood home too.

Max will either hug or kiss Chloe, depending on your relationship with her, before going through the butterfly picture. But instead of letting Nathan shoot someone, Max is resolved to fix everything no matter what it takes. She makes a different choice this time, confronting Nathan before he pulls out the gun, therefore setting off a new timeline.

It's implied that Max will stay in a time loop of the week we've had in-game until she finds a way to fix everything using all the pictures she's taken. It's left up to the player's imagination if Max can succeed in her goal of saving Chloe, the town, and possibly Rachel, or if she's forever trapped in a time loop trying to change things out of her control.

#I've wrote this before #but this is a rewrite because my style changed a lot between now and then #Life Is Strange #Chloe Price #max caulfield #rachel amber #Pricefield #Amberprice

[stefanyd]

So i was having a lovely conversation with @rythyme about the current rapid evolution of the BL industry, specially in Thailand - looking at the impact KinnPorsche is having, everywhere, at the moment - and it led us to a path where i was able to articulate something i’ve been thinking about or a while in regards to BL as a genre and how it relates to (and is) LGBTQ+ media.

BL might have its roots as a genre made for fangirls as fanservice, but the reality of it is, it is ALSO queer media and as the world at large embraces LGBTQ+ identities(i use the term embrace loosely here, we are all aware of the hurdles we face still), the lines have blurred into what people consider just BL - as fangirl fanservice - and LGBTQ+ content.

That does not mean that there isn't just fanservice for the sake of it out there, not every piece of media has to be nuanced and whatnot (we all like chicken nuggets every once in a while people, don’t lie, five course meals are not always where its at), but it does mean that there is more media that lands in the blended space. I believe BL media is and should be qualified under LGBTQ+ media. Bad buddy is a great example. It is 100 percent a BL, ticks all the boxes, but it is also 100 percent a coming of age, nuanced love story between two boys that tugs at your heartstrings and makes you want to go through the joy and anxieties of falling in love. That has a lot to do with the Director of the show, P’Aof, a very talented director, and an out gay man. Watching his reaction/review videos to the show, along with his peers who are also queer men, specially for the final episode, has been one of the best experiences of my life. It was hard to put into words, but hearing what these older queer/gay men had to say about this show, their lives, their experiences, the differences between their youth and today. It was mind blowing, specially because they are from a whole different culture than mine, and as my older sister who is in their age range said: “you’re watching/learning queer history.” It was both touching and a great learning experience.

BL is a genre that can be multiple things at once (like any other), but what lends itself to the blending I mentioned before is that we are not only seeing the industry as a whole growing with its fanbase, but also the fact that more LGBTQ+ voices are getting involved in the making and distribution of it.

Rythyme made a point in our conversation, “BL as a genre despite its shortcomings has always been, at its core, both queer and transgressive and it's hard to draw those lines between what's made for the ‘BL fangirl’ vs the ‘queer person’ bc those boundaries are super blurred” And i agree with that statement, because many of those BL fangirls the genre was aimed at turned out to be queer people later in life. They mentioned listening to a talk by an older Japanese lesbian who was an OG BL fan from the start of it all, and who discussed how BL helped her discover her own queerness, which was a lightbulb moment for Rythyme as they listened to it.

And that’s the thing. BL culture in the east, and slash culture in the west, they both started labeled as “fanservice for the fangirls”, and their similarities don’t end there, they are both movements that have led a lot of queer people in a journey of self-discovery. My sister @teland has almost 15 years+ on me, and as she put it:

I can't count the number of queer people of all genders and ages and everything else who I've spoken to over the past 20-odd years about slash, bl, and other intersections of queerness, fantasy, and *hope* who have said to me:

"This is where I found myself." "This is how I learned who I was." "This is how I wrote myself into my own body." "This is how I learned how to draw the boundaries of my self." And so on, and so forth.

There is nothing more queer than taking identity/self/sexuality/gender and remaking it in our own images for the sake of learning ourselves.

So yeah. i am in no way making light of, or ignoring, the fact that the fetishizing that has gone on since its inception isn't a thing (i am not a gay man, i can't speak for their struggles or issues with said fetishizing), but i feel it disingenuous to deny the fact that it, and the people it was/is aimed for have evolved.

There's surely someone out there better qualified, and with more energy than me, to address the other, more problematic side of this whole thing, where it lacks and where it fails, and I wish them all the luck. I'm genuinely just. So happy to see the growth and evolution of it as a whole. It brings me untold joy, and when there are just so many things in the world that aim to take the joy away from our lives, I want to embrace all the things that give it to me.

Now give me more GL stuff lol.

#Thai BL #Boys Love #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ+ media #asian lgbtq dramas #i am SO SORRY about how long this is #i have so much to saaaaay #i mean im leaving out a bunch of other stuff that brings even more nuance to my argument #like cultural differences #how lgbtq+ rights are being fought over as we speak in the countries that are the leading exporters of BL #and my thoughts on how revolutionary it is that this content IS so popular there and worldwide #and how i want to watch the evolution and growth of this genre and watch how it impacts the fight for those rights #and so much more oh man #someone send me to bed

[weirdcat1213]

Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #nightow sir #i will meet you and i will end you #and then buy you coffee

[arrthurpendragon]

Life Rant-ish

I had hoped that by now, I’d be in a better place and writing much more. But things only seem to be dragging on. The depression has come back - I mean, I know it never fully goes away, but like I said on here - last week, I finally realized it. Brushing one’s hair once in two months should be an obvious outward sign. Not showering for two weeks should be another. But apprently not, at least so it seems to my school.

My principal doesn’t “believe” I’m burned out. I’m guessing he thinks it’s all in my head - or I’m making myself burned out. (Like he thought I did with COVID - how the hell does one mentally give oneself COVID?) He’s pissed I didn’t get a newsletter out every week. First, I couldn’t even brush my hair or teeth for like a month - you really think I’d be able to get a newsletter out? Second, this was something completely new to us as a school. Compared to the year before when I didn’t do it at all, a newsletter every three weeks was better than nothing. Again, I know I didn’t do as expected (or apparently agreed upon - according to principal, but I never “agreed” I was told. There’s a difference)

3/5 of my teaching standards for review were given the lowest rating . . . because of my church attendance. Yes, once I moved I had a harder time getting to church - but that’s also when my depression started getting bad. My principal was told by my counselor - which I was made to go to by him - that I should be “allowed” to attend another church (same denomination) for my mental health.  I was told in my review that “they need a teacher who can be at there church” That being said, I ended up going more like once a month the last 4 months of the school year and the weeks i didn’t, I watched online. But then because I didn’t take communion, it all but “cemented” my low score.

I told my principal that I had been getting panic attacks going to that church. His only respone was “I didn’t know that” But I reluctantly went on Sunday. I stayed in my car for 20 minutes doing a zen color by number and then went in to sit in the basement. And then there was communion. So, I went up. The pastor hugged me during communion. And then after the service, he waits for me, gives me another hug and then tells me that I’m wanted there.

Then comes the emotional whiplash.

A few hours later, a school board memeber emails me and tells me that they need to meet with me due to “parental concerns” (never been told about any before) “council memeber interactions” (literally no idea what this is) and “my end of the year review” (which considering I was in a trauma response the entire time because my principal told me one minute before the review that the pastor would be sitting in on it - when he had been told one month prior that I don’t do well with those things due to my trauma response - HE KNEW) and they pigeon-holed me into certain days.

Thankfully I talked to my counselor - she told me to tell them that for medical reasons, I can’t meet those days. Which is true - but due to mental health reasons. She also said that I should bring someone with me to this meeting. I told them dates I’d be available with another person - but they still haven’t gotten back to me. 

 . . . but I’m anxious that they’ll just randomly show up at my house. Because that’s what my principal has done in the past. Because I didn’t answer my phone  . . . because it was dead. He dragged another teacher to show up at my house to “check” on me.

Like don’t get me wrong, this year was crap. But the way they are going about it, isn’t helpful. Clearly they haven’t taken the time to get to know me.

When I was debating this job, I was told so much of how this place is like a “family” My mistake for thinking it would be a good family, not a crappy one.

I even told my counselor that i feel like the “appendix” of this body. (For those who aren’t Christian, the church is often related to a body that functions together) The appendix - ignored when it’s “doing directly as told” and threatened to be cut off when it doesn’t do exactly what they want.

So, I’m back to counseling every week, instead of every 4-6 weeks. And my counselor has recommended me for IOP (intensive outpatient program) to work on DBT skills.

I’ve been trying to work on getting a public school job, but it’s the kids that keep me second guessing. I have one student I’ve even been tutoring this summer. I know he needs me and it breaks my heart. But at the same time, I can’t pour from an empty glass.

. . . oh, and since it’s we get paid 12 months of the year, we’re supposed to be at school 12 months of the year. And we’re supposed to sign in and out and write what we did.

I’m sure there’s more drama/crap I’m forgetting. But this is what I’ve been dealing with for the past few weeks. This is why I’ve been overly-stressed. This is why I haven’t been as active as I’d like.

To those who have reached out so far - thank you. 

To those who have left me encouraging messages or compliments or reviews - thank you.

Y’all mean the world to me. Truly, I feel that y’all are more of a family to me than my family or this supposed “church family.”

Although, there’s one thing I’ve come to learn from all of this. I don’t beleive in organized religion anymore. The group I’ve associated with because it’s what I was raised in has a lot of cultish tendancies (like having no say because I’m a woman without a husband? Yep) But I do cling to my faith. It’s such an odd thing. But a big reason for my faith is because I want to see my mother again (she died when i was 9, for those unfamiliar) So, religion crisis, but not faith crisis? Does that even make sense?

On top of this all, the iRS messed up my taxes from last year. I made a quarterly payment before April and they applied it to the year before’s taxes, so I got it back in a refund (didn’t realize that) so I owed money when i thought I was getting a refund. Joy.

But this too shall pass. I know that things will get better somehow. No idea how, but things will get better. I did sell the lawnmower that came with the house - so I made a bit of money. And my kitties DEMAND snuggles with me. Marsali keeps me laughing because she’s a crazy puppy. I’ve fallen in love with reading again - that’s what I’ve been doing for anxiety relief - reading. Read the Bridgerton Rokesby prequels (well the first three) If you like Bridgerton - I’d highly suggest giving them a read. 

tldr: life sucks right now, but I’ll get through it. I always do. It’s just not fun.

#tw: depression #tw: culty vibes #tw: religion

[logicalarachnid]

Spider-Man (2018) Aftermath Otto vs Spidey Boss-Battle Ramble

Just finished playing Spider-Man (2018) and that final Peter & Otto scene RUINED me. I expected to lose it when Aunt May would die, bcs they were setting it up to end like that, but gosh, I did not expect that heartbreaking scene between mentor and student.

To me, that final scene between them was such a good depiction of someone like Otto who is mentally unstable/ill, and it isn't their fault, but they lose their way and lash out. And Peter, who is like a carer, someone close to that hurt person, who loves them, and wants to help, but they can't anymore.

It's like Peter says to Otto when he tells him that he can't save him. "I guess you'll have to save yourself." It's the motions that they go through during the conversation, how it shifts because of how Peter doesn't respond the way Otto wants/hopes. The way Otto suffers, we can understand it and partially sympathise, and we are able to do this purely because of Peter's perspective, bcs of the journey we go through with him up to that point. Peter loves Otto, and it hurts to hear him talk the way he does. It hurts him to know about the terrible things Otto did that has hurt all of NYC...all of it is far from who he knew the man to be before.

"You were everything I wanted to be!" This line really got to me in particular. How, while Otto tires to backtrack and get out of the situation the best he can, if he could only convince Peter, it doesn't work, bcs it just shows Peter just how far gone Otto is from what he knew. And yet, despite that knowledge, despite his crimes, and despite the trouble, the betrayal, the physical assault made against him, the attempted manipulations, and Aunt May...despite all of it, Peter chose kindness. He chose to look after Otto.

Otto: I should have known you'd turn on me, just like all the others.

Peter: Turn? Turn? I worshipped you! Your mind...your conscience, wanting to help others...the way you never gave up!

Otto: That's because men like us have a duty. A responsibility. To use our talents in the service of others. Even if they don't appreciate it...we have to do what's best for those beneath us. Whether they understand it or not.

Peter: No. You're wrong. You were everything I wanted to be! You just...threw it away!

Otto: Yes, of course. You're right, Peter. I see that now. The neural interface affected my mind. But I can fix it. We can fix it...together. If you'll help me.

Peter: I'll do everything I can. I'll make sure you get the best help.

Otto: No! If they put me away, they'll take my arms! I'll be trapped in this *useless* body! Please, Peter.

Otto: That...wasn't me. You said...you'd never abandon me, you promised, remember? And, of course, you'll rest easy knowing your secret is safe with me.

Peter: You do what you think is best, Doc. It's all any of us can.

Otto: Peter-?

Peter: Even when it hurts like hell.

Otto: Peter? Where are you going? Peter? PETER!!

This whole bit shows Otto trying different tactics but at his core he's scared of being vulnerable, of not having his arms. I'm not sure if Otto came back for a few moments or not. However, I am sure that when he began to agree with Peter, telling him he was right, and trying to show that they're similar, and subtly said that they're superior to everyone else...that was definitely manipulative in nature.

Does he still care for Peter in some capacity? Honestly, it is difficult to tell, it was left ambiguous. I personally hope that somewhere deep down Otto does still care for Peter. He did tell him that he saw him as a son, but whether or not that was also manipulation or partially true idk. I hope we get to have a scene of him regarding Peter in the sequel, or a mention of him at least. I mean, Peter lost two people he loved in one day and both were very traumatising. Hopefully, it won't be swept under the rug completely.

#rambles #spider-man 2018 #spider-man ps4 #otto octavius #peter parker

[won4ver]

I kinda like or there this magnet/pull with exploring stuffs that can provoke pain. [It has a trigger warning so I kinda had an idea what I was diving into] This is a little bit oversharing[sorry to even bring this in your inbox]. But I lost a loved one 14 years ago, I'm fine now but from time to time I miss the person and cry cause I feel guilty that i'm growing and living life. Somehow starting to forget the person. Its painful but also comforting to read something from the perspective of the grieving with an honest confession of grief. Death is one grim concept or idea but it hits different when we feel the loss ourselves. We usually outgrow the pain, thou it does not go away permanently. I never got to properly mourn this pain so maybe thats why it always feel fresh, but I know that our love ones would love for us to go on and live our lives whenever were ready. You've written it beautifully. There are a lot of good writters, but I simply think not all can convey emotion or make people feel. Your writting has brought me in a dimension as if I was the character in your work and I think thats incredible of you. I hope that you are showered with all the positive things in the world, to always have the heart for writting as your talent is beautiful. Thank you for writting this and for writting. [I'm talking about words left unsaid btw. Jake one was my favorite out of all.]

You dont have to respond to this. [I feel embarassed, but really want to compliment you. Thats all 💕💕💕

hi!! thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to share this with me💗

it’s hard to live without someone who you weren’t prepared to lose yet, the guilt following you as you were able to get older knowing that they’d remain the same age forever. and i agree, being able to let go, to countinue living, is something that anyone would’ve wished for. just because their life ended, doesn’t mean yours did.

the strength of yourself and everyone who goes through this pain is super admirable, truly.

it’s inevitable to not miss someone whenever you randomly see something that reminds you of them, or when you think about the opportunities you were graced with. but even just thinking about them keeps their memory alive, they’re going through this with you.

but even if you start forgetting their voice, their touch, anything, it doesn’t mean that you’re losing them all over again. they’ll always be kept alive in everyone’s memories, even if the they become stored behind the countless others you’d make in your life.

mourning comes in so many ways, there’s no textbook way that depreciates how we should react/ get over the loss of someone close to us. everyone’s body is unique, reacting and dealing with the pain for different durations of time and in different ways.

growing up my dad always told me about what he thinks happens to use when we die, where we would go. he stares longingly towards any forest in our path, any weed that blooms in our garden. he tells us about how we’re made up of energy, energy that can never be destroyed. he believes that while our soul goes to the afterlife, our energy vibrates with the one of nature. he told me that when he dies, don’t look for him because he’d be everywhere. he’d be in the air that we breathe, in the water that we drink, in the grass that returns every spring.

even if i’d never be ready to let him go, i find comfort in knowing that when the time came, he’d finally reunite with the flowers that wait for him. even if i forgot his voice, id hear him during the windy nights, id see him in the fallen leaves as the seasons change once again.

i’m not sure if what i’m saying is even comforting anyone, i’m not the best at expressing my genuine thoughts. but i hope when you read this, it can bring you some sort of relief.

thank you so much for your kind words, it makes me feel so special knowing you’d come here and shared them with me. i hope to get better at writing in the future, but right now your words make me feel as if i’m going through the right track.

you’re so inspiring, i hope you also have everything good come to you. you deserve all the happiness and love in the world :)

thank you again for trusting me enough to tell me this, my page will always be a safe space to say whatever you’d like.

#🕶️ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི won4ver asks! #:(((( <3 #please don’t be embarrassed

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 22

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

My fist hits the boxing bag, moving the whole thing forwards while making the chains that hold it sound loud. I only stop after I hear Melanie cheer me up on my back.

After overthinking all these days being closed inside my house and only leaving it to go grocery shopping or to work, I decided to join them in one of their kickboxing classes. And I'll say they were right, I needed to do this.

—I don't wanna be the person that made you so mad —Soo jokes.

If only she knew it was her brother.

It's been a week since we argued. No calls, no messages, nothing. He totally disappeared after everything that happened the last time we saw each other, which leads to me not knowing anything about him.

Even if I don't really blame him for keeping some distance, I'm still annoyed over the fact that Jungkook didn't try to reach out to me. And if he's waiting for me to take the first step and call him first, he'll die waiting.

—Yeah, you've looked off these few days —unlike our two other friends, Tammy keeps her serious expression—. Is everything alright?

Obviously I can't tell them I'm pissed because of Jungkook. Not only because we both agreed that no one should know about our thing, but because I don't want to deal with the amount of questions that would come right after me opening my mouth.

—It's nothing —I answer, my breath shaking because of the exercise I pushed my body to—. Just a lot of stress lately.

—If you need to talk about it, do it —Soo gives one final punch to the boxing bag—. I love a good rant.

Both Melanie and Tammy encourage me to speak. And while they're at it, I try to think of a way to tell them what's going on without giving out any details about Jungkook or our deal.

—I met someone, weeks ago —I start—. Thing is, I like spending time with him, and I thought he also did. But the other day we argued because of something he said, and it's been a week since I last heard of him.

—Oh, that boy ain't showing up ever again —Tammy gets scolded by Melanie right after saying that.

—Most probably he doesn't know how to address the situation —Soo mentions—. Men are like kids, so it's a matter of time until he decides to reach out to you —she shrugs—. If he likes you, he'll come back. And if he doesn't come back, fuck him.

—If it was his fault, he'll eventually talk to you and will try to make things up —Melanie continues—. Either way, don't text him first. Like Soo said, if he cares and wants to solve things, he'll try to talk to you.

—And if he doesn't, he isn't worth it —Tammy stands next to Melanie—. If you ever just happen to see him, ignore him. He doesn't deserve your attention if he isn't able to own his mistakes.

It isn't hard for me to understand they're right. I've been thinking the exact same way since he decided to leave my house last time we were together, and that's exactly why I haven't texted him yet and why we haven't seen each other for a week.

I must be missing him a lot though, because not only I can't stop thinking about him, I also see him everywhere. But I know it must be something other than just my brain, because he's looking way too beautiful to be an illusion. And Soo confirms that when she smiles and waves at him.

The moment Jungkook's eyes lie on me, I feel the need to hide under a rock. It's the first time in seven days that we see each other, and it has to be at my worst, when I'm sweating, out of air, and probably my face is red because of the exercise I'm not used to. Meanwhile, he's looking all hot and fresh with that black tank top and a pair of gym shorts that fall neatly over his knees. For one fast second I think he must've cut his hair, but he turns his head to the trainer when a loud "Jaykay" comes out of his mouth. He has his -still purple- hair collected with a hair tie.

Life's so unfair.

—Guys, get in pairs —our trainer screams, interrupting his chat with Jungkook.

Melanie and Soo get together, and move to one of the boxing bags somewhere in the room; Tammy has totally disappeared as I turn, and it doesn't take me long until I find her giggling with her gym crush -she wasn't lying when she said she'd dump me for a cute boy.

I'm trying to find any other girl that could be free, but all of them have come with friends and are already in pairs. Turning on my feet, I see a not mind-blowing handsome but cute guy walking to me, although he suddenly stops and walks in the opposite direction again. At first, I think it could've been my resting bitchy face doing the bad work, but I realize he was looking over my shoulder.

Even if I'm not looking at him, I feel his presence on my back as he moves and throws his boxing gloves on the floor before he walks to me again. And suddenly, my hair free falls on my back. But it doesn't take much for him to hold it all up and style it on a messy bun.

I hate how the hair on my nape and forearms lift just with his touch. I can't stand the way my body reacts whenever he's close to me.

—What are you doing? —I turn to him, once he's done— Your sister is there.

—They all are busy with their things —he walks back to his gloves.

Anyway, I turn to them, just to find Melanie's and Soo's backs facing me while they're practicing. And, on the other side of the room, Tammy is too busy trying to win that guy over.

I turn again to face him. Big mistake. That full sleeve tattooed arm, combined with the red and black boxing gloves covering his hands is making my mind go places.

—I'm not doing this with you —I assure him, as soon as I see him walking to me.

—Too bad I'm the only one free.

—Then I'll change partners with someone —I look around.

Jungkook's soft voice draws my gaze back to him. It's the way he calls my name with such peace and how his eyes are desperately looking for some type of cooperation on my side that almost makes me forget what happened. Almost.

I move to the boxing bag when he steps closer to me. Am I avoiding him? Yes. And I don't care if he's aware.

—We need to talk about what happened —he throws the first punch, making my body move with it.

—Do we? —I cut him off— Because I don't think we have anything to talk about when you disappeared for a week.

I'm annoyed enough to let my tongue run with whatever it wants. After giving his second punch, he rolls his tongue through his cheek, and tilts his head before he tries to speak again. But he decides to keep his mouth shut, and go back to doing the exercises we were supposed to be doing.

Although we are silent, the tension is obvious. I keep my eyes on him all the time, waiting for his words although I said myself I didn't want to hear him; and Jungkook keeps looking at me through his eyelashes, groaning with every hit of his fist until we change places.

—I wanted to call you —he assures me.

That only makes me scoff, while waiting for the excuse he's going to come up with right after.

—What was it? You lost your phone? Broke it? —I change my position, so I can kick the boxing bag.

—I was embarrassed.

That statement makes me stop for a second, just to look at him and find him fixing his gaze on me, with a genuine expression showing off he was, in fact, embarrassed. He seems ashamed right now just to be remembering it, by the way he keeps biting the inside of his lip.

—I'm sure you're used to being an asshole like that —I go back to my punching and kicking exercises.

—Not with you though. And I didn't know how to reach out to you after I behaved like that —he sighs—. You had every right to be pissed off that night. I was a douche, that comment was...

—Disgusting? —I gasp— It was. And don't try to say you didn't feel every single word. You said it because you were annoyed, I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that somewhere, in the back of your head, you don't think those words aren't true.

—I never said I didn't believe those weren't true —I bite my lip, trying to understand what kind of fucked up apologize this is—. The wording was fucked up because it came up as an attack to you, but would you be really looking in my direction if you had more choices?

Is he kidding? You'd have to be blind to avoid looking in his direction even if there were millions of choices. But I understand what he means, I guess. This deal brought us together. If it hadn't been for this, we probably wouldn't be talking except for the fact that we are in the same circle of friends. And I could ask him the same question, but he does have different choices. And still gave up on them.

Where is he even trying to go with this conversation?

—It doesn't change the fact that you were offensive for no reason —I face him.

—I didn't mean it that way. I... —when I look at him again, he's struggling to find the right words— I'm sorry about what I said.

I don't answer him, instead I go back to giving several punches on the boxing bag, until one of those punches goes straight to his stomach. Jungkook's surprised by the sudden attack, yet it seems like I've hit a wall by how he shows no pain.

—This conversation isn't over —I assure him—. Don't think everything is set and done only because you apologized.

He smirks at my comment, nodding before we switch positions again. It's unbelievable how a few words have made all the tension disappear and turn it into playful smiles and sneaky glances.

I take longer than the girls to get in the shower. Actually, I wait until everyone in the locker room has either left or is inside the individual showers. I feel weirded out and unsure of getting naked in front of so many people, even if they're of the same sex, and that's exactly why I've been messing with my phone, fully clothed, until the room was empty and silent.

Not for long though.

Asshole: Can I come to your place?

I think it through, and I know it's a bad idea. For some reason, he feels way too comfortable in my house, and that's exactly why I suggest we meet at his place instead. He responds with a silly thumbs up GIF before he disconnects.

✸ ✸ ✸

I know meeting up at his place is a bad idea as soon as I see myself waiting downstairs, moving back and forth unsure of whether I should leave or go up to his place. I'm falling for my own trap right now, yet I need answers from him. He wanted communication, and it's what we are going to do right now.

Jungkook looks nervous when he opens the door for me. I've been here before, yet it seems like it's the first time I'm around. And in a way, it's like that. I'm not here for the deal, I'm here because we need to talk, we need to let each other know what's going on through our heads to be able to continue everything where it was. It's been a long week.

—Do you want something to drink? —he asks, pointing to his back, towards the kitchen counter.

As I shake my head, he drops his hand to his side and lets his body fall to the black leather sofa. Aware that I'm still standing, he pats the free place next to him. And I take the invitation, walking to that spot under his attentive gaze.

I play with my fingers on my lap, moving one thumb over the other as I try to think of a way to start the conversation. It'd be a good thing if I knew where to start exactly.

—I crossed the line the other day —I nod, confirming what he's saying—. And hiding for a week didn't make it any better.

—No. Because it seemed like you didn't care —I look at him, but he avoids my eyes—. It felt like I was the one who had to go after you to make things up.

—I didn't know how to do it —he scratches the back of his head—. I didn't know how to properly reach out to you after that night. I wasn't sure if texting you out of nowhere or going to your place would be invasive.

—But coming to the training wasn't? —I lift my eyebrow.

—Was it that obvious I went because of you?

Pressing my lips together, I nod. I'm sure he's pretty well into boxing to the point that he wouldn't join a random training, that allows people like me -that hasn't done boxing once in their life.

—I rather train by myself —he sighs—. But Soo told me you were going, too. I saw the chance, and I took it.

—So your plan was to come to the training, and?

—Apologize —he finishes.

—Right —I move my gaze, losing it somewhere on my lap—. You know, I wasn't annoyed because of the jealous act. That pissed me off, but not because you were jealous, but because you feel like you're free to meet up with someone, yet that same rule doesn't apply to me. I don't like the double standards. And then you said that crap, acting like I'm only doing this because you're the only one I can do it with...

—How did you feel when I said that?

I dare to look at him when he asks that. Big mistake. His big brown eyes pierce on mine, but not the way they usually do. He's waiting for my answer, and he's getting ready to examine every corner on my face to tell whether I'm keeping things to myself or not.

How did I feel? I felt like all these weeks were a waste of time, like nothing has moved forward between us two because there's only one reason why we're still in contact. And it made me scared of the day this all ends, because I'm not ready to lose whatever it is we have.

—Pathetic —I let out a sigh—. I felt pathetic. It made me feel like you were doing me a favor and just saw me as that.

He waits. Jungkook presses his lips together, and I see him thinking again. I can almost see through his eyes the words forming in his head.

—I promise I didn't mean it that way —he assures—. It pissed me off how you said you regretted the deal. I said the first thing that crossed my mind. How you talked about it... it made me feel like you're only talking to me because of that. Like all of these moments are only because you need my help —he's about to lay a hand on my knee, but I see his palm going back to his lap—. You're not pathetic. I'm an asshole for making you think that way.

I try to hide my shock by his words. It really makes me wonder if I'm hearing properly, or I'm just projecting my own thoughts onto him.

—You're an asshole —I second what he said, trying to go on with the conversation as fluently as possible—. But get pizza for dinner and I'll consider forgiving you.

He gives me a tiny smile, patting my head before he leans over the table to reach his phone. He then turns to me again.

—Ham and cheese?

Of course, he already knows that. We've ordered pizza way too many times when we met up, and he knows I like it simple. He scrunches his nose with a smile when I nod, eyes squinting and small wrinkles forming on their corners as he sees the confirmation to his question.

Forty minutes later, we're both lying on his couch, eating the pizza he ordered while watching the most gore film that's ever been made. At some point, when the killer tears one of his victim's body apart with a chainsaw, Jungkook asks:

—Does this make us psychopaths?

—Maybe —I nod, while chewing on my food.

He chuckles, and stops when he realizes there's only one slice of pizza left in its box. And we know what that means.

—You had the last one the last time —I whine.

—And you had the last one the last last time —he emphasizes his words pointing at the back with his thumb.

And that only leaves us with one solution: rock-paper-scissors. We both use the same ones a few times, until he finally uses scissors and I'm left with my flat hand in the air while he celebrates, jumping on his seat with a big smile on his face. But when I'm about to take my eyes off him, I see his hands starting to rip the slice apart, turning one slice into two.

—Here —he hands it to me.

—Thank you —I smile shyly.

I help him pick up all the stuff once the movie finishes, and I start thinking I should be heading home at this point while he's putting our two glasses in the sink. It's late and, unlike me, he has to wake up early to go to the studio. But Jungkook doesn't let me take one step away from him, he pulls me closer and presses his body against mine, wrapping one of his hands around my neck and the other one on my waist.

His lips feel soft on mine when they're moving slowly, tasting every single second. I had no idea how bad I missed kissing him until now. How was I able to go a full week without this?

He moves back, yet our noses are still touching, his lips are still rubbing mine and his warm breath is making me go crazy. My heart beats hard against my chest when I dare to open my eyes, just to find his looking into mine with attention.

—Stay the night —he whispers—. Nothing has to happen. Just stay.

I'm unable to say no. I don't want to say no. But I'm also unable to say a single word, so I just nod, captivated by his big dark eyes, hopeful for the answer I've just given him.

Jungkook leads the way, still holding my hands on his back as if I could get lost in his house, as if I hadn't been here before.

Dressed in one of his oversized t-shirts, I lie next to him. Eyes fixed on the ceiling, unable to sleep, because my head is spinning around some questions still.

—Let it out.

—What? —I look at him confused.

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts, I wasn't aware he was looking at me all this time.

—Whatever is running up here —he caresses my temple—, let it out.

—Do you think Soo knows?

—Doubt it. Why?

—You said she told you I was there today.

I must be in a different dimension, because I don't get what's so funny about what I've just said, while he's cackling next to me.

—All night you've been thinking about that? —he lifts his eyebrows surprised— She said Tam, Mel and you were there. She didn't single you out. It was a general statement to encourage me to join her. She knows I've had a hard time socializing with people.

—So she invites you to places to get you to open up? —he nods— That's sweet.

Jungkook having a hard time socializing with people? That alone totally breaks me out and leaves me confused for a few minutes. He doesn't seem the type who has a hard time meeting new people and molding into their groups.

—Fake it 'till you make it —he sighs.

—I have a hard time believing you struggle with that.

—I find it easy to meet people on a superficial level. I struggle when I have to open up and actually build friendships.

Well, that makes sense. And it's also sad. I can't help but wonder what might've happened to him for it to be this way. Actually... After what he told me about his ex-girlfriend, I could kind of understand where it's coming from.

We're back to being in silence. And under Jungkook's imposing look, I feel forced to look at the ceiling again, thinking that would help me to distract myself, but I still feel his eyes piercing on my neck.

—Let it out —he insists again.

—Why did you meet up with Leslie?

—I shouldn't have —this time, he's the one that looks away as soon as my eyes lie on him—. She showed up, and wanted to apologize properly for what happened between us. We had dated for too long, and I didn't want to hold the negativity any longer. You know, be cordial with her, move on from all that.

I'm pissed just thinking about her reaching out to him as if she hadn't done anything. But I understand what he means by moving on and closing a chapter, as it should be closed, when he was forced to tear that same chapter apart from the book.

—I didn't tell you through text because I didn't think I had to —he shrugs—. But I was going to tell you when I drove to the bar. You don't have to worry about her —his hand reaches mine under the covers—, seriously.

I'm overwhelmed by all the emotions that fill my body in those last five seconds, while I'm giving all my effort trying not to smile. I feel happy, yet at the same time I don't fully understand why I'm suddenly so relieved and happy. 

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #armpirate

[himebushou]

Buddy Daddies AU – Delinquents in High School!

(Inspired by Crows Zero ❤) 

Kurusu Kazuki, a senior, is considered the king of Blue Sky High.  He might not be the toughest but he’s definitely the smartest and he uses that to his advantage.  Everyone fears Akasagi, his band of loyal followers

One day, an upstart freshman named Suwa Rei turns up at Blue Sky and starts taking everyone out.  For his own reasons, Rei wants to be the king of the school!

However, he’s unable to pick fights with Kazuki effectively because Kazuki always knows what Rei’s planning.  This is because Rei has literally no ability to strategise (“Attacking from the front again, rookie?  Try something else!”)

Rei’s Backstory

In this AU, Rei’s relationship with Suwa Shigeki is pretty different.  Rei still shows a lot of deference to his father/boss (he’s only allowed to call Shigeki ‘Father’ outside of work environments), but uh… he’s not descended from a line of hitmen, lol

Shigeki probably runs some fancy company?  I’m tempted to go with a very old, very grandiose publishing house because of the sheer number of books we saw in his study

In this AU, Shigeki takes a fair amount of advice from his right-hand man, Kaji Satoru, who is Rei’s mentor.  When Rei’s in his early teens, Satoru points out that Rei’s a shut-in and doesn’t have much experience of the world, which is going to make it tough for him to thrive in business environments where he’ll have to read people constantly

Shigeki asks what Satoru suggests and Satoru says that they should throw Rei in at the deep end and enrol him in a crummy all-boys’ high school called Blue Sky High.  Shigeki basically retorts that Rei will attend a dump over his dead body, but Satoru shoots back that, well, if Rei can survive even a year in an environment like that, he can survive anywhere

Shigeki agrees at last… and then lets Rei know that he’s being chucked out for a while

So Rei starts living with Kaji Satoru, because, of course, he needs back up.  He’s a bit suspicious because Satoru seems to disappear in the evenings… but on the whole, Satoru is a good adult in Rei’s life, mentoring him and training him to be physically strong

(Rei was trained to be physically strong because Shigeki’s of the mentality that a man can only thrive in business if he’s strong in every way – physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.)

Satoru’s the one who encourages Rei to become the king of Blue Sky High as this will prove to Shigeki that Rei will be able to take over the Suwa publishing house when the time comes

Poor Rei, however, has a deep, dark secret… he doesn’t know how to tell his dad that he’d rather read a manga than a novel…

 The Present Day

The troubles at school are escalating and one of the fights between Rei and Kazuki ends with a lot of blood being spilt (Rei was finally able to come up with a plan!).  The issue, however, is that Akasagi and Rei’s faction (which he didn’t even put together, by the way; it’s just a bunch of guys who thought that Rei was cool and started following him around – they call themselves Aoko) are now taking their fights beyond the school gates and causing mischief across the city.  This is a very bad look

As such, Kugi Kyuutarou, who attended and ruled over Blue Sky just prior to Kazuki’s enrolment, calls the pair out for a meeting.  Rei looks at the megane man and thinks, “Whomst??” but Kazuki is pretty terrified because he knows of Kyuu-chan’s reputation (also, Kyuu-chan encourages people to call him that so that he’s underestimated by outsiders)

Kyuu-chan tells the pair to KNOCK IT OFF, OR ELSE. Kazuki raises his hands, acquiescing – Rei, however, is about to give Kyuu-chan a bit of his mind when Kazuki drags him away, warning, “He’s the last person you want to irritate.  NINE are pretty legendary, you know.”

“NINE?”

“You out-of-towners don’t know anything! Listen.  You and I have pretty big groups, right?  But, back in the day, Kyuu-chan ruled Blue Sky with only nine people.  And they’re still loyal to him.”

Rei is confused as to why Kazuki’s suddenly doling out advice; Kazuki chirps, “Just looking out for my underclassman!” and swans away

A few weeks pass.  Akasagi and Aoko are finding the ceasefire tense, but they’re getting on with it.  Rei thinks idly of how empty the school day can feel without fighting and Kazuki contemplates ways to make a quick buck – he’s got rent to pay and his cleaning jobs aren’t quite meeting the mark

One day, Kazuki hauls Rei aside (Rei is pretty indignant about this) and comments how it’s obvious that Rei is pining to get his hands dirty.  Rei asks whether the truce is dead and Kazuki laughs.  “Not a chance, but I might have something even better.”

He leads Rei to an underground fighting ring. Kazuki comments that he knows Rei’s goal is to get stronger, but he can’t do that without fighting… so here’s a solution.  Rei thinks about the fact that he lost a spar against his mentor just the previous night, so he agrees to be one of Blue Sky’s fighters

This arrangement goes on for a little while. Each time Rei gets badly injured, Kazuki patches him up and encourages him to get back in the ring.  Rei queries why Kazuki’s being so helpful and Kazuki insists that Rei should stop asking questions and just respect his elders

“Sure… Kazuki-sempai.”

“Don’t take it too far!”

(Before this point, Rei just called him, “Kurusu!” with a lot of animosity)

Then… the next time Rei’s in the ring, he notices something in his peripheral vision.  Kazuki’s placing bets!  And he hasn’t shared the profits!  Rei is so mad that he deliberately loses the fight, making Kazuki lose a bundle

Afterwards, Kazuki is steaming.  He demands to know why Rei would do such a thing and Rei gets a bit lofty, saying that Kazuki shouldn’t be benefitting from Rei’s work without splitting the profits.  Kazuki snaps that the truce is off, regardless of what may or may not happen with NINE.  Rei grabs Kazuki and demands to know where his money is – sempai retaliates by headbutting Rei hard

Fighting breaks out across Blue Sky High again (some of the students are a bit relieved; all this truce stuff was dull!).  Now that Akasagi and Aoko are fighting again, the other factions also get antsy.  Kazuki’s irritated because spending all this time coming up with elaborate plans to deal with Rei is cutting into time where he could be making money. However, Kazuki is far too proud to consider giving up his crown

Then, things suddenly get hard for Rei – Satoru announces that he has to leave for a couple of weeks and suggests that Rei go back to the main house.  Rei says that he can’t possibly do that: he’s anticipating a final showdown between himself and Kazuki in the next few days and, besides, he wants to see what it’s like to live alone.  Satoru asks ARE YOU SURE? and Rei’s all YES I’M SURE and Satoru leaves Rei with some emergency numbers before scooting off

Within three days, Rei’s house is a tip.  He’s hungry!  He’s sad!  He desperately calls one of the numbers Satoru left for a cleaner…

And who should show up but Kurusu Kazuki?

Rei: (⊙_⊙)

Kazuki: (⊙_⊙)

Rei tries to close the door in Kazuki’s face; Kazuki sticks his foot in the way and barges in regardless, saying A JOB’S A JOB and that Rei’d better pay him fairly.  Rei demands to know what Kazuki’s doing there but Kazuki is just looking around the apartment, assessing the damage.  Then, he gets Rei to stand in one spot while he starts cleaning

“How have you survived while living like this, Suwa?  I thought you came from money!”

“It’s not always like this.  Usually, Satoru-san’s here and he takes care of this kind of thing…”

“So how long has this guy been away?”

“Three days.”

“THREE DAYS?!?”

Then, just when Kazuki’s nearly finished cleaning, he sees Rei boiling some water for instant noodles.  He flips out and ends up cooking for Rei instead (Rei’s fridge is full of some nice ingredients; Rei watches Kazuki cook very carefully to make sure there’s no poison involved – Kazuki takes it as an opportunity to give Rei a cooking lesson since Blue Sky is too rundown to have any facilities for Home Economics).  Of course, Kazuki ends up eating, too

Rei points out that it’s super weird that they’re hanging out like this when they’re supposed to be thinking of ways to kill each other.  Kazuki rubs the back of his head and says yeah, maybe, but work is work and, when Rei grows up a bit, he’ll be able to tell the difference.  Rei gets annoyed at being patronised – Kazuki realises that he actually feels a bit bad about looking down on Rei and comes to the conclusion that Rei might be a bit cool.  This is a bizarre epiphany for Kazuki so he changes the subject and asks what’s the deal with Rei and who’s this guy who normally cleans the house?

For reasons that Rei can’t quite pinpoint later, he ends up telling Kazuki about his dad and how he needs to rule over Blue Sky. Kazuki sparkles and says, “Wow, I’m a real thorn in your side, huh?”  Rei scowls. Then Kazuki says, well, let’s find out where your mentor is.  It’s pretty weird that he left without a word

Kazuki gets a laptop and starts tapping away; Rei is pretty fascinated and just like, “Huh… so you can do stuff like this too?” Kazuki gloats, “Yeah, your sempai’s an amazing guy~!” and Rei quips, “And a modest one.”

Soon, Kazuki’s able to pinpoint Satoru’s location and he laughs, telling Rei where Satoru is.  Rei’s like??  Where’s that??  Kazuki says that Satoru’s at some famously romantic location, which means he’s there with a significant other.  Then Kazuki sighs, saying that Rei’s mentor is lucky to have someone in his life

“What’s your story?  Why are you good at all of this stuff?”

Kazuki says wryly that he had to learn to fend for himself from a pretty young age.  He mentions blithely that his parents abandoned him when he was a child. Outwardly, Rei doesn’t express much – but he thinks that what Kazuki has just revealed is pretty shocking.  He wonders if Kazuki says important things casually as a defence mechanism – and then Rei realises with a start that he’s changing as he can now recognise things like when someone’s using a defence mechanism

Kazuki finally gets up to leave; Rei sticks his hands in his pockets and asks Kazuki if they’re back to normal tomorrow.  “Of course,” says Kazuki.  “In fact, let’s decide things once and for all.”  Kazuki names a time and Rei agrees, thinking that it’d be better to deal with Akasagi sooner rather than later.  The more time he spends with Kazuki, the more Rei finds his will to fight the third year diminishing

There’s an eerie stillness over the school… then, a few days later, the entirety of Akasagi and Aoko, who’ve made alliances with other factions in the school, show up in the schoolyard.  The fight is RIDICULOUS.  It is BRUTAL.  But then –

Who should appear but rivals from other schools?!?

It turns out that quite a few folk developed beef towards Blue Sky High students through the underground fighting ring – and a lot of them want to destroy Rei!  It turns into Blue Sky vs. The World!

Kazuki saves Rei and yells, “You owe me!”

Rei saves Kazuki about thirty seconds later and shouts, “My debt’s repaid!”

The two team up and try to go for the head honcho – but this kid plays dirty and is hard to get to.  It looks like it’s all over when –

ENTER!  NINE!

Kyuu-chan tells Kazuki and Rei that this has got messy; NINE wouldn’t get involved in some schoolyard brawl but people’s brothers, dads and uncles are showing up.  NINE will clear a path and suppress the damage; Rei and Kazuki just have to go for the big guy!

There’s a massive showdown with the head honcho. Rei and Kazuki are a beautiful team.  There is blood.  There is fire.  The word “Partner!” is said in earnest.  Ultimately, Rei and Kazuki win

Post-battle, everyone is on the ground, dead (or thereabouts).  They hear police sirens.  Kyuu-chan rocks up and says that Rei and Kazuki, as two ringleaders, have to get out of there. Rei and Kazuki look at each other, share a cool-guy-nod, and vamoose

The police make many, many arrests

Post the big battle, there are some huge changes at Blue Sky High.  Students clean up the school and there’s an attempt at actually bringing in a syllabus. Students are disciplined appropriately. This is all spearheaded by the new headteacher, Principal Hanyu, who is extremely kind but who has ‘accidentally’ let the students know that she’s super strong

Kazuki and Rei actually get an education, lol.  They also bond with the people of Akasagi and Aoko who were loyal to them

All of a sudden, it’s graduation day.  Rei goes to find Kazuki and Kazuki’s like, “Hey, look what the cat dragged in!  You must be sad that your favourite sempai is graduating, huh?” and Rei says yeah, it stinks that Kazuki’s leaving as things won’t be as interesting anymore.  Kazuki’s a bit ! but returns Rei’s sentiments; he’s definitely never met anyone as wild or interesting as Rei

Then, Kazuki asks whether Rei’s done at Blue Sky and will be going back home.  Rei says yes – and lets Kazuki know that his mentor’s getting married.  “Some men have all the luck,” Kazuki grumbles

Kazuki says that he has a feeling that he and Rei will run into each other again, someday.  Rei looks sceptical and Kazuki’s like, “What?  Are you worried that you won’t recognise me?  Okay, let’s get a memento.”  He grabs Rei’s phone, yanks Rei into the frame and takes a selfie of the two of them together.  Checking the screen, Kazuki grimaces and says, “Well, I guess that’ll do.”  Rei asks doesn’t Kazuki need a memento, too? Kazuki answers that Rei shouldn’t worry; Kazuki’s texting the photo to himself

“So I have your number?”

“Pfft!  Only for emergencies.  Got it?”

Kazuki starts to swan away, calling, “Till next time, Suwa Rei!”

Rei calls, “Thanks for your hard work, Kazuki.”

Kazuki stops dead and turns around.  “WHERE’S MY RESPECT?”

Rei shrugs.  “You’ve graduated now.  As far as I’m concerned, I don’t need to call you ‘sempai’ anymore.”  Kazuki rolls his eyes, but, as he walks off, he feels pretty excited about the next time he’ll cross paths with Suwa Rei.

 Epilogue

Several years pass…

Kugi Kyuutarou finally achieves his dream of opening his own café – Mistletoe Café.  He invites a particular pair of idiots along to the opening and so, Kauzki and Rei finally meet again (neither changed their number in all that time, but they didn’t find occasion to call each other, either)

Kazuki and Rei end up bumbling around together for a couple of years, for whatever reason.  I think Rei might have found the wherewithal to tell Shigeki that he wants to start his own publishing house and focus on working with mangaka instead. Rei’s contemplating opening a bookshop – but wait, wouldn’t it be more successful if it had a coffee shop attached? Kazuki is pretty good as a front-of-house guy.  Business partners?

Suddenly, the delinquents!AU turns into a book/coffeeshop!AU

And then, Miri falls from the sky…

 Notes

Throughout this story, there are side scenes of Rei feeding and talking to stray cats.  Older Rei definitely has a cat or two

So, Ogino!  He is an extremely creepy English teacher at Blue Sky High.  He’s a big fan of the Suwa publishing house and is hard on Rei since he wants Rei’s words to be more satisfactory.  Also, no one has the temerity to start fighting in any of Ogino’s classes.  He’s a bit of a side character and is just there to add even more conflict to Rei’s life

I guess Kazuki would need a bit more character growth?  But the main change for him is probably how he grows to admire Rei and see him as an equal. Maybe, after Principal Hanyu revolutionises Blue Sky, Kazuki hangs out at Rei’s house from time to time?  That could be pretty fun!

In canon, Kazuki and Rei are juuust too far apart, age-wise, to have been able to attend the same high school.  However, this is an AU, so we can fudge the ages!

Akasagi comes from a dodgy portmanteau of ‘red’ and ‘rabbit’.  Lily draws Kazuki in a lot of bunny-themed stuff, so I guess that’s the animal I’d most likely associate with our beloved man.  Besides, LU BU’S horse was literally called Red Hare, so why not!

Aoko is a dodgy portmanteau of ‘blue’ and ‘cat’ (for obvious reasons).  Kazuki was VERY ANNOYED when Rei’s followers called themselves this because hello? The school is called Blue Sky? And then the rookies have the GALL to add ‘blue’ to their name?  It makes them sound too official!

In this AU, Kazuki and Rei both run around in ponytails while they’re teenagers (PLEASE SEE LILY’S ART FOR REFERENCE)

Rei spends a fair chunk of this AU like this :<

Kazuki spends some of the AU like this ¬¬

The fic would be called either Blue Sky Blues / Aozora Blues

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies fic #suwa rei #kurusu kazuki #LONG POST! #A MASSIVE POST! #even the PLAN for this fic comes in at 3k? #alas this would have to be a multi-chap and i don't write those anymore #so please have my scribbles instead #(if you read the entirety of this post... i genuinely thank you) #and please watch crows zero! #blue sky blues

[victorluvsalice]

Merry Christmas Ace!

@ace-of-tales Hope you're doing well! I remembered your request from ages ago -- another installment of the "Klaus, Leona, and company end up in Secundus" series we've been doing for a few years now, showing the Libra team battling a Blood Breed in the city and everyone being very impressed and intrigued by their battle skills. Enjoy!

Also That Is Too Much Blood For One Person

“I have to say – I really did not expect there to be so many ways to fashion weapons out of your own blood.”

“It is extremely impressive, isn’t it?” Alice said, watching as Klaus hit the “Blood Breed” – a tall, pale man sporting claws, fangs, and an expression suggesting he wished he was anywhere else right about now – with. . .well, to her it looked like an axe, but as Klaus kept smacking the Blood Breed with the bit she thought of as the “handle,” it was probably an overly-fancy blood sword instead. “They really know what they’re doing.”

“I should say – did you see the white-haired one? Zapp, I believe?” Christopher said, pointing him out as he darted away from a swipe of the Blood Breed’s claws. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone slice up a monster so quickly! And with a sword technically made out of liquid no less!”

“It looks like it crystalizes once it’s outside their bodies,” Richard said, extending his neck to get a better look at the action. “Though, in that case, you’d expect all those blades to be a lot more fragile. They seem to be able to take quite a few hits!”

“Honestly, I’m most impressed with Steven,” Victoria admitted, looking over at the Blood Breed’s minions, currently standing literally frozen in place on the sidelines. “I still don’t know how he did that, but – goodness me, he barely even blinked, and they were just completely out of the fight!”

“Leona told me that that particular party trick involves him turning drops of his own blood into little needles that burrow into his victims, allowing him to flash-freeze them,” Alice told her. “Which is – disconcerting, to say the least, so we should all be grateful he’s using it on the side of good.”

“Really,” Victor agreed, before flinching away as another gigantic spray of blood came very close to his face. It formed into a fancy wall, then slammed into the ground, just in time to halt the Blood Breed as he tried to flee. “I think we can say that for all of them, frankly.”

“Indeed – we’re very lucky that they’re all as keen on fighting and eliminating monsters as I am,” Christopher said, puffing out his chest slightly. “And that they were here for the day when this particular one showed up! I don’t know how well my own sword would have done against this beast.”

“I’m sure you would have been just fine,” Victoria said, with a loyal, loving smile.

“I just wish they’d end it already,” Emily squeaked, half-hidden behind Richard. “I do not like the size of the teeth on that creature!”

“I think they’re trying to weaken it in preparation for the final blow,” Doc assured her, as Richard put his arm around her. “What did Leona say? They need to learn the Breed’s true name before it can be sealed?”

“Yup – that’s her job, to try and learn the name from its aura with her special eyes while the others keep it busy,” Alice said, then spotted a small figure running up to the hulking Klaus. “And if I don’t miss my guess, I think she’s just figured it out. . .yup, here comes the dramatic blood again. . .”

A few more words shouted in a language none of them understood, and suddenly Klaus’s blood wrapped around the Blood Breed like mummy bandages, forcing his form into a T-shape before shrinking down and solidifying into an elaborate metal cross. Klaus picked it up, tucked it away, then turned and waved to the onlookers. “You’re all right over there?”

“Fine!” Marty yelled back. “Awesome work!”

“Quite the show!” Alice added.

“Very impressive!” Christopher agreed.

“How are you not all anemic?”

All eyes went to Richard. “Hey, it’s a fair question,” he said, shrugging. “None of the blood ever seems to go back in their bodies.”

Emily facepalmed. “Richard. . .”

“Uh – never really thought about that?” the one called Zapp said, blinking. “Until now, anyway?”

“Don’t start having existential crises now,” Alice called down. “How about some tea instead?”

“Indeed! My treat!” Richard said brightly. “I think we could all use some!”

“That’s for certain,” Klaus mumbled, then gave them a small smile. “All right then – lead the way.”

#aceoftales #merry xmas #christmas fic #xmas fic #fanfic #blood battle blockade #secundus #we've got a whole series going now don't we? XD #also you can probably tell which techniques I was most easily able to find clips of on YouTube #Steven's IS pretty scary #I mean you don't even know he's managed to DO it until he hits the 'freeze' button so to speak #as that one group threatening him in the clip found out to their detriment #also yes I do have to wonder myself how they're all not anemic XD #I assume either there's an explanation or everyone just glosses over that in the show/manga #maybe the Secundusians can investigate if the latter :p #queued

[chrisodonline]

Finale Spec/Wishes, pt. 1

Not sure what else to call this. Also, this is mainly G related because, well, duh. It’s me. There would be other stuff for other characters, though some of that IS mentioned.

I just need to get some of this typed out so I stop thinking about it and risk just adding on. (Lolz. Me? Going on too long? LOLZ.) 

It’s a mix of “What I could see happening and either like/don’t mind and have accepted” with the occasional “This would be a DREAM come true.”

I have no idea who all would even be able to come back, either, but well. It’s early yet. 

Also, not formatted in any special way because there’s a lot of dialogue that’s not official dialogue so I’m not about to make this so many more paragraphs longer than it should be. 

Again, not a fic. Just rambling. 

Also, I am breaking it up because it is clearly going to be ridiculously long. Even for me. So this is just part 1. (For the two people who might read all of it.)

Stuff that would have to happen in the third to last episode:

There’s a case, sure, but who cares or pays attention to that.

The episode begins with Callen having set a date for the wedding and letting everyone know. Kensi gently points out most people send Save the Dates. So Callen starts writing the information on a post-it note, and Sam stops him. Tells him he needs to get some real invitations printed. G: “I think this is more personal, though.” Deeks: “I think those are actually Kensi’s post-its that made their way onto your desk.”

Callen promises to get something more professionally printed.

Penultimate episode:

More formal invites have been printed and people are starting to get them. Case stuff case stuff case stuff. Villain of the week is pretty icky and sociopathic, which makes Kensi and Deeks reflect on all the “monsters” they’ve had to deal with. Kensi says it’s hard, but she also is glad she gets to be one of the people to help get those monsters put away. Even if they don’t always stay put away. Deeks knows she’s talking about Kessler. He mentions the body stitchers and how being in the field makes you have to face the worst of it. Kensi agrees that’s definitely a drawback. She looks at him, again, and he’s clearly been thinking about something. She asks him what. He doesn’t want to share just yet, but she tells him there’s nothing he can say right now that’s worse than what they had to deal with today.

Deeks admits he’s been looking at opportunities at the base in San Diego. There has been some turnover since people are starting to retire, and, unlike people who retire from OSP, they actually will stay retired. Kensi, “Opportunities? Like what?” Deeks: “Well, keep in mind we’d be limited to really dealing with base matters or more behind-the-scenes analytical matters.” Kensi asks if he wants to leave LA and OSP. Deeks says he just wants them to look at it and consider it. Kensi could get a job instruction/training if something more up her alley is available right away. It would be steadier, even if in another town, but still a day trip from LA. Kensi says they’ll talk about it more later. Deeks, “I just don’t want to keep facing psychos and risk collecting more enemies that can hurt us. Our family.” Kensi reiterates they’ll talk about it.

Callen is arriving home, he greets Anna. Anna hands him a card that came for him in the mail. He opens it, and it’s a “Congratulations” card. Anna, “Someone must’ve gotten their invite. Who is it?” Callen’s confused, “Not sure.” He opens to the card to read it: “My dearest Callen, Imagine my surprise to learn that you’re getting married. Looking forward to the wedding and seeing you again. - Janiver”

Callen drops the card, and Anna asks what’s wrong. He just looks at her, freaked out. Episode ends.

Finale:

Kensi’s in the shooting range. Deeks comes in, asks how long she plans to stay in there. She’s gone through dozens of rounds already. And this was after she woke up early and did intense cardio. Kensi says she’s just doing what’s needed to stay good at her job. Deeks offers, “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Janvier’s card, would it?” Kensi keeps shooting. Deeks, “Or with what we talked about. Or with how that first thing I mentioned is making that second thing seem like something we should really be talking more about.” Kensi stops shooting.

Kensi says it’s just a reminder that Kessler is still out there, and if Janvier is a threat again, it would be a lot. The latter killed coworkers and was involved with getting Deeks tortured, and vowed to come back and hurt them all. She understands where he’s coming from. Deeks, “Well, that’s good.” Kensi, “No, it’s not good.” Deeks, “What’s the problem.” Kensi, “It’s bad because  you’re right.” Deeks, “I’m not sure how to take that.” Kensi, “I mean, I know you’re right. It makes sense. San Diego. I just wish you weren’t right.” Deeks, “Again, I love you, but I am not sure how I’m supposed to be taking this.” Kensi just looks at him, almost near tears, “I wish leaving OSP wasn’t the right thing to do. Because I don’t want to do it.” Deeks, “We don’t have to. We’re not even guaranteed spots. They might be iffier about spouses working together, so we may have to be--” Kensi, “No, that’s the thing, Deeks. We do have to.”

Sam is pacing near the door. Rountree and Fatima are at their desks. Fatima, “How long has he been pacing? Should we worry?” Rountree, “I don’t know. He’s not usually a pacer. He’s usually a ‘punching bag is my fidget toy’ guy.” Fatima nods. “Maybe you should go check on him.” Rountree just eyes her. Fatima, “Better you than me. Go.”

Rountree approaches Sam. He asks Sam if he’s okay. Sam just shakes his head. “It’s not okay. My partner is an idiot. And  he called when he was about half an hour out, so he should be here soon.” Rountree, “Are you worried something’s going to happen to him before he gets here, like with the Katya thing?” Sam just stops. He looks over at Rountree and stares. “Well now I am.” Rountree apologizes. “I’m sure he’s fine.” Sam just nods. “He better be fine. It’s gonna be a lot harder to yell at him if he’s injured or doesn’t make it here.” Rountree’s eyes widen, things just got awkward, and he slinks away. He looks at Fatima, “Tag, you’re it next time.” 

Callen walks through the door. Sam stares at him. Callen cracks, “Hi, honey. I’m home.” Sam just glares more. Callen sighs and starts walking. Sam doesn’t let him get far. “You shouldn’t have gone alone. It could’ve been a trap.” Callen shakes his head. “That’s exactly why I had to go alone. He always threatened to go after all of you first. If it was a trap, you would’ve been in more danger than I was.” Sam, “Then why not take someone he might not know, like the rookies over there.” Callen, “You really want to put them on his radar? No. It made sense I went alone. You’ll be happy to know, he is still very much locked up.”

Sam nods. “That’s good. Any idea how he found out?” Callen shakes his head, “None. He did claim that he just felt it in his heart. So maybe he just wanted to screw with my head.” Sam, “Right. It’s just mind games, G. He’s locked up. He’s not a threat. I told you this.” Callen notes that he probably still has connections, so we don’t really know that. “I’m not chancing it. I’ve already talked to Anna. We’re changing the wedding date.” Sam looks shocked, “You’re what?” Callen explains that they’re going to push it up and just have a smaller ceremony than planned, which he has no complaints about. He’s hoping sooner rather than later gives anyone who might have something planned less time to even find out when and where it’s moved to.  Sam asks when the wedding is. Callen explains they’re not sharing the exact date, time, and location until it’s much closer. Sam is super annoyed with this. Callen says, “Look, just keep the first full week next month really open. All I’m saying.” Sam, “That’s just weeks away.” Callen nods. 

#z rambles on #ncisla spec #part one