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starglow-xx · 3 years

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owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)

platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others

*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*

please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.

previous: part 2 : their beloved president

author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)

this one is actually pretty long :0

i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)

and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise

the doctor is in the house (quite literally)

going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion

it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping

cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries

sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird

one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide

he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again

or so you thought

a n y w a y s

every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment

you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often

and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”

ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears

you guys were at it for a while

in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that

you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)

for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way

when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark

you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month

on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8

currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks

ranpo’s been rubbing off on you

the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down

tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once

but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment

like honestly

let a woman do her own thing

the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him

you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley

he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand

not that you cared about the detail in the moment

you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way

using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back

your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again

you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle

grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you

you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall

you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair

but what you really notice is her eyes

ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more

you’ve always liked the color magenta

the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up

as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention

he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold

you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you

she notices the condition you’re in

bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing

she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away

when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for

it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more

if those two trust you, she has no reason not to

she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency

your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand

“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”

“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”

after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary

she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in

you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at

before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable

after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags

she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you

you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you

“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”

“...”

*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*

“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”

you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them

and that’s only three of them

apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened

ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met

before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds

as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk

you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women

you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister

she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion

yup

that’s right

the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3

you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3

“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”

*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”

“?!”

after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!

you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!

you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping

yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit

the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by

lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap

“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”

she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male

“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”

“unbelievable right?”

“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”

“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”

“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”

like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3

but you love her anyway <3

eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out

“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”

you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member

the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out

but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways

besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will

speaking of which

you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden

“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”

you choked on your water

“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”

“exactly the point”

you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose

but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky

you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with

you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea

other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s

you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down

you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be

you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late

she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass

and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels

arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late

(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)

she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president

the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you

fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected

but here comes the hard part

or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows

“i met (y/n) today.”

“we could tell.”

in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth

“would you like to know how?”

“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”

“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”

this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”

“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”

ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks

“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”

“kunikida.”

“yes shachou”

“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”

“...yes shachou”

“and yosano”

“yes?”

“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”

just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed

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shihalyfie · 3 years

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A meta and analysis on Hurricane Touchdown

Hurricane Touchdown sure is one of the Digimon entries that’s really difficult to describe. Often said to be “confusing” and “like an acid trip” (for pretty good reason, honestly), it somehow also manages to have a lot of hold in public memory, partially due to being one of the three movies that got widespread international distribution via Digimon: The Movie. Moreover, its relevance has started to re-emerge thanks to Kizuna, the director of which has stated Hurricane Touchdown to be his favorite movie (multiple times). Rather recently, there was even an editorial written by a journalist who had been covering Kizuna, professing that he had watched Hurricane Touchdown as a kid and hated it, only to rewatch it as an adult and appreciate it much better.

With all that, plus the fact that the movie recently got a new translation, it’s probably a good time to go back over the movie and analyze it! Despite what popular sentiment may have you believe, the plot of the movie isn’t that fundamentally incomprehensible, just buried under some rather unusual production and execution decisions. But there’s a lot to be said about the themes and story of the movie, so let’s dig in!

(All screenshots and quotations from the movie are based off the Hudie translation.)

Hurricane Touchdown in meta franchise terms

The full title of the movie isn’t technically Hurricane Touchdown by itself, but rather “Digimon Hurricane Touchdown!!/Transcendent Evolution!! The Golden Digimentals”. (The Japanese fanbase tends to shorten it to “Digimon Hurricane”, or, for even more shortening, “dejihari”.) The double-titling there is because of how it was originally screened; it was the 02 “summer movie”, screening in July (between the airings of 02 episodes 14 and 15). Functionally, the franchise has thereafter treated it like a single movie, but at the time, the fact it was technically “two” movies gave it the longest running time of any Digimon theatrical movie, clocking in at a little over an hour. (The tri. movies are officially considered OVAs and not theatrical movies due to their limited-screening nature, so as of this writing Kizuna, at 95 minutes, is the only theatrical movie to break this record.)

The movie itself has a pretty fascinating development history – for one, Akiyama Ryou was originally planned to be the starring character instead of Wallace. It’s also the first Digimon movie to be in “questionable canonicity” territory – this is very normal for Toei tie-in movies, since development for these kinds of movies usually starts at the same time or even before the TV series itself, making it hard to reconcile canon, but unusual at the time for Adventure, which had both its first and second movies be plot-relevant to Adventure and 02 respectively. It is generally understood that the movie takes place in “summer” – possibly between episodes 14 and 15, at the same position it screened in real-life – but, interestingly, the Western and Japanese fanbases’ opinions on why it’s questionably canon tend to differ: in the West it’s usually based on the appearance of Tailmon and Patamon’s higher-level evolutionary forms (which shouldn’t be possible as per 02 episode 27), but in the Japanese fanbase it’s based on Wallace’s existence posing a timeline contradiction (according to Adventure episode 45, there shouldn’t be any Chosen Children before 1995, but the movie states that Wallace had been one before then). Add to that The Door to Summer, which seemingly contradicts the ending of the movie (in which Wallace and Gumimon find what’s implied to be Chocomon’s egg, whereas The Door to Summer has the line “Chocomon isn’t here anymore”), and everything is just a tangled mess.

Despite that, it’s pretty remarkable how lasting the movie has been in public memory. Even with all of the factors working against it – the fact it’s often accused of being confusing (or, by many a Japanese kid, boring and slow) or an acid trip – Wallace is a very popular character, more so than you’d expect for a “guest” character in a one-off movie, especially one so controversial. 02 fans often even consider him an honorary seventh member of the 02 group. His article on the Pixiv dictionary wiki is pretty surprisingly thorough, at that. Questionable canonicity aside, the fact The Door to Summer even exists is pretty significant – how many one-off questionably canon movies have you seen getting an actual sequel?

As an aside, Hurricane Touchdown has a bit of an interesting relationship with Ojamajo Doremi, which is in some sense classic Digimon’s sister series (it aired at around the same time as Adventure through Frontier, and was also headed by their producer, Seki Hiromi). Wallace was voiced by Miyahara Nami, a voice actress who grew up in an international school in Austria and thus speaks fluent German and English, thus often putting her in roles that require speaking one of those. (If you listen to Wallace’s Japanese speech through the movie, it has a very heavy accent, which is deliberately affected on Miyahara’s part.) A year later, Miyahara would be cast as major character Momoko in Motto! Ojamajo Doremi, and The Door to Summer would prominently feature Nat-chan, a girl voiced by Shishido Rumi, who voiced Ojamajo’s Onpu (who is generally agreed to be Doremi’s most popular character, and Shishido’s most famous role). Coincidence? Opportunistic casting? Who knows.

The movie itself

But that’s enough beating around the bush. Let’s get to the movie itself!

I’m not going to dwell on this too much because I’m going to be going more in detail about it below, but our story starts off in Wallace’s hometown of Summer Memory, a fictional rural village in Colorado, in 1995. (As mentioned earlier, this is a bit of a timeline contradiction; Adventure episode 45 establishes that “the one who wishes for stability” and the Agents didn’t get the idea of human Chosen Children until 1995, whereas the events of Hurricane Touchdown imply he’d been one before then.) Chocomon suddenly vanishes, and a gust of wind is left behind, implying that he must have been kidnapped. It’s not exactly said by what he was taken by (Digimon: The Movie ties it into Our War Game! by having both be traced to a “virus”, but no mention of such is made in the original Japanese version).

The mystery of what it is that took Chocomon away is never fully elaborated in the course of the movie, but as it goes on, it becomes increasingly apparent that it doesn’t actually matter. Why? Well, stay tuned.

So, timeskip to 2002!

As Takeru and Hikari are visiting Mimi in New York, Hikari, who is known to have a bit of an empathic connection to Digimon, senses that there’s a “crying Digimon” (this will be important later), and Mimi suddenly vanishes – as do the other Chosen Children.

I think part of the reason this movie is often pinned as feeling like an acid trip is that the demeanor and attitude the 02 kids express in this movie feels a little too laid-back for the very urgent situation of their seniors having suddenly up and vanished (which is also not helped by the movie’s overall soundtrack being a lot more laid-back than the events on screen should suggest). This is especially odd because it’s absolutely not like the kids aren’t worried about their seniors at all! Rather to the contrary; “getting Taichi and the others back” is the major motive driving the whole group for the rest of it, and it’s constantly brought up as their goal in dialogue, shaping their actions throughout the rest of the movie. The execution of the dialogue and the overall direction create a bit of a tonal mismatch, but on its face, the actual storytelling checks.

Shortly after, Chocomon – now evolved and corrupted into something – appears, and Wallace and Gumimon confront him.

The fact that Wallace refers to his partners by their Baby-level names (Chocomon and Gumimon) even after they’ve clearly evolved brings up a lot of interesting implications. One is that, not having been privy to any great adventure in the Digital World before, Wallace doesn’t have a lot of awareness of names changing after evolution the same way his Japanese peers do. But another important thing that comes out here is that, through the course of this movie, Wallace primarily sees his partners the same way he did as a young child. A lot of this movie’s story centers around Wallace’s difficulty in moving on from the past and accepting that things aren’t the same way that they are anymore – and so, just like how he has a hard time swallowing that the circumstances have changed, he has difficulty seeing his own partners as having changed, and calls them by the same names despite everything.

Takeru and Hikari catch on, and Hikari’s psychic sense catches on that something’s happened to her brother, too.

Oh, and incidentally, said seniors aren’t in a pleasant place to be in at all.

The fact that the older kids are clearly Not Having a Good Time in the realm they’ve been kidnapped to – it’s depicted as cold, lonely, full of negative emotions, and eating away at their ability to even bodily function – is very heavily connected to what we later learn about what’s been going on with Chocomon through the last seven years. Moreover, the one truly coherent thing Taichi and Yamato can spit out at this stage is concern for their siblings – i.e., love. Keep that in mind for later!

Wallace drops a line to his family (”Amy” presumably being his sister) saying that he’s going to head to Summer Memory, and skips town. Repeat: Summer Memory is in Colorado – he’s doing something as drastic as going out of state to follow Chocomon, which naturally does not amuse his mom very much (as we find out later in the movie). Patamon eavesdrops on the conversation and relays the information to Takeru and Hikari, who contact Daisuke in turn.

So the remaining three kids nyoom all the way to the US using frequent flyer miles (which makes you really wonder whose those are, or what on earth they told their parents to allow three elementary school kids go around unassisted in another country) to go save their seniors, which apparently doesn’t fund their trip all the way to Colorado, forcing them to hitchhike from New York.

(We also get a quick scene implying that Daisuke has better proficiency in English than Iori and Miyako, as he translates some of the statements for the guy they take a ride from. This is pretty surprising, given that Daisuke hasn’t really been portrayed as particularly book smart…but then again, language skills sometimes just happen to come naturally to some people regardless of skill in books, and hey, it might just come in useful for his future ramen chef career in New York…)

We get our first major scene of dialogue between Gumimon and Wallace, and we learn quite a bit about their characters in the process. Gumimon has a similar laid-back attitude to the more prominent Terriermon in Tamers, but beyond that (and a shared voice actress), it’s important to note that they have very different personalities otherwise. In this scene, Wallace and Gumimon get in an argument over how to handle Chocomon, with Wallace insisting that they shouldn’t have attacked him and that they should have just “talked” about it – even though, as Gumimon correctly points out, he was pretty obviously trying to physically attack Wallace.

In fact, at this part of the story, Wallace is being extremely irrational and in denial. You don’t even have to watch the rest of the movie to see that Gumimon’s very practical stance on the matter is reasonable – Chocomon was very much trying to attack Wallace, and getting caught in the fight was pretty much all he could do for Wallace’s safety. But Wallace, still stuck in the past, can’t accept that at this point in the movie, and, honestly, is being a bit of a brat about it too – he’s engaging in progressively more self-destructive behavior over the course of the movie (ditching his family to set off by himself in order to hitchhike to Colorado, for one). We later find out that Wallace is specifically obsessed with going back to the flower field where he lost Chocomon, having independently come up with the idea that this would somehow let everything go back to what it was before – even though there was really no sign this would actually fix anything.

The Adventure universe generally runs on a concept that a Digimon partner is representative of part of the self, and so, tying that into Wallace and his two partners, it can be taken that Gumimon and Chocomon reflect the duality of Wallace as a character – Chocomon representing his desire to latch onto the past and hope that everything can be the same that it was before, and Gumimon as Wallace’s sense of reason, advising him about the reality of the situation and how to practically get through it (and, thus, to move on). In fact, Gumimon is the one constantly advising him about said self-destructive behavior (reminding him that his mom is probably worried about him, but also berating him for just ditching the train as a result instead of thinking about how that’d leave them without reliable transportation for the rest of it).

The symbolism is driven in even further when the only thing Gumimon has to say, in response to Wallace clinging further onto the idea that going to the flower field will fix things…is a cryptic statement that Chocomon didn’t like the heat, then suddenly offering to be a hat to provide Wallace shade. Because right now, Wallace and Chocomon are the same: clinging hopelessly to shards of the past.

The other 02 kids make their way to meet up in Colorado, but run into some snags when Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori end up missing the exit to Denver (Takeru is not amused), and Hikari and Takeru’s train ends up stranded thanks to Chocomon’s interference…

…and, making things worse, Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori try to take a plane back to Denver, only to overshoot it again. (Sorry, Taichi…your juniors are idiots.)

Fortunately, they get lucky by running into the very same boy they’re indirectly looking for on their way to hitchhiking. We learn that Wallace has never had exposure to other Chosen Children before to the extent of knowing there were any Digimon in Japan, nor has he ever been to the Digital World, so for all intents and purposes, his experiences with Chocomon and Gumimon are all he knows (i.e. he has no awareness of large-scale Digital World affairs). He also apparently speaks Japanese, which is convenient for this movie so that they don’t have to have a language barrier, but, amusingly, Wallace claims that it’s because he “had a Japanese girlfriend once”. (Gumimon, who is much more reliable of a source, says that he’d apparently put an honest effort into studying, so an interpretation that Wallace really likes anime or something is not out of the question.)

It’s also interesting to see how the others react to him, especially considering that it’s becoming increasingly apparent that he’s involved with the disappearance of their seniors. Miyako is as openly friendly as she generally always is, Iori presses him very calmly about questions relevant to the disappearances and Chocomon without even batting an eyelid (future lawyer in training here), and Daisuke is suspicious from the get-go…which is exacerbated when Wallace starts flirting with Miyako. The running gag of Daisuke getting angry about Wallace flirting with Miyako has a lot to unpack here – the most obvious standby is the shipping interpretation (or, at least, that Daisuke may be as protective of Miyako as he is Hikari), but there are other points to observe as well. Firstly, Daisuke is a rather abruptly straightforward and overly honest person, and it makes sense that he’d play badly with people who seem dishonest – after all, his suspicions of Wallace started even before he started flirting, and he also shows similar hostility around Takeru (also not a very straightforward person) when he suspects he’s being made fun of. But also, the Pixiv dictionary entry takes the interpretation that Wallace’s personality had gotten a bit “warped” by his experiences – or, in other words, he’d developed this penchant for acting like a flirt, wandering off on his own, and altogether being incredibly wishy-washy because of the trauma of losing Chocomon and his inability to get over it.

And as much as Daisuke’s being a prick about it (to the point that mocking Wallace for it gets him left there stranded with him), he’s absolutely right about the contradiction Wallace’s posing – he’s acting all high and mighty about trying to become an “adult” (meaning that going off on his own and flirting with girls presumably are part of his perception of what Mature Guys do), yet he’s being a total mama’s boy by constantly dropping everything to call her repeatedly through his trip. (It’s even worse than the subs here suggest; he calls her “mama”, the kind of super-affectionate language used by Mimi and Ken.) As Gumimon says, Wallace thinks he’s actually right, but he doesn’t actually have it together at all.

Another interesting thing to note here is that at this point of the movie, Wallace calls Daisuke “Daisuke-kun” (with honorific attached, slight distance). Remember this for later.

Chocomon appears to confront them again, but he seems to not properly recognize Wallace – because, as we later find out, he doesn’t see the current Wallace as “Wallace”, and will accept nothing less than a younger Wallace from exactly the way he was when they were separated. (It is later stated in the movie that this is why he kidnapped the seniors and turned them younger; since he can’t recognize “Wallace” the way he is now, he’s taking anyone he can find with a Digivice and de-aging them in the hopes that he’ll find “Wallace” among them.) Gumimon recognizes that Chocomon is beyond recognition, and tells Wallace to not see him as Chocomon, but Wallace refuses to accept this and continues to intervene in the fight, telling Chocomon that they’ll meet again in the flower field. Again, Wallace’s mentality isn’t that different from Chocomon’s at this point – he may not be delusional to the point he wants to literally turn back time, but he still thinks that reproducing the conditions of seven years prior will fix everything and make it all better again.

During this whole time, the older(?) kids are getting progressively younger, and it’s turning out to impact not only their physical bodies but also their mentalities. At this point, they’re starting to lose awareness of what’s happening to them, as they become more and more connected to Chocomon’s emotions.

Daisuke is smart enough to catch on that Wallace definitely knows what’s going on, and starts to interrogate him. Recall that Daisuke is completely within his rights to do so at this point – Wallace is not only acting incredibly shady, he’s also being dismissive and refusing to give Daisuke any concrete answers about something that most certainly involves him at this point. As the 02 kids keep reiterating, their seniors have been kidnapped, and it’s pretty clear to anyone that Wallace knows something about this, but he continues to blow them off.

Wallace also doesn’t seem to be very happy about the fact Gumimon had evolved during the battle – remember, Wallace is very resistant to changes in his status quo, and especially when it involves Gumimon evolving in a similar way to Chocomon.

Daisuke continues to pry into what’s going on with Wallace and Chocomon, and Gumimon, who understands that there’s no use in denying that this is a problem, tries to be straightforward about it – but Wallace, still stubbornly refusing to open up about it, won’t even let Gumimon tell Daisuke about the truth.

Daisuke realizes that they’re not going to make any territory as it is, so he decides to have Lighdramon take them to Summer Memory for the time being, bonding a bit more with Wallace in the process.

Once they reach Summer Memory, the kids learn about Takeru and Hikari getting stalled by Chocomon on the train, and the fact everyone else on it had disappeared – meaning that the responsibility that Wallace is carrying for not taking care of this problem begins to weigh further on him. Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori continue to interrogate him about what he knows.

But Wallace, still stubbornly, refuses to talk, and being in Summer Memory only drowns him in further memories of his past with Chocomon and Gumimon. We learn a bit more about Gumimon’s past, too – apparently, he was quite the crybaby…

And when Gumimon finally begins to spill the details of what’s going on – that Chocomon wants to see the younger Wallace and is kidnapping kids with his Digivice and turning them younger as a result – Wallace still continues to double down on his denial. Notice his wording – his specific insistence that things will go back to “how they used to be,” because it’s not just about getting Chocomon back, but also a fixation on recreating that happy childhood he had with him.

(There’s also a bit of a cute moment around here where Daisuke asks Wallace if he needs to call his mom – after having teased him for being a mama’s boy earlier, Daisuke really is starting to care about his welfare. It’s also amusingly mentioned that Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori are broke out of money until they meet up with Takeru and Hikari again…)

That night, Wallace tries to go off by himself to the flower field, not even bringing Gumimon with him – as he implies later, he doesn’t even want to get Gumimon involved with this because he was the closest to Chocomon – but Daisuke, having finally caught on to his suspicion that Chocomon is not only relevant to Wallace but also Wallace’s partner, confronts him about it. Wallace thus finally spills the details – that Gumimon and Chocomon were born from the same egg, that Wallace kept them from his mother and stuck with them during childhood, and that, seven years prior, Chocomon suddenly vanished while they were playing at the flower field.

Wallace: I’ve never been able to forget about Chocomon since then. Not even after moving to New York, not even once. We were such good friends…So why did Chocomon have to end up like that? Does he hate me for not being able to save him? Daisuke: So the enemy we’re fighting is actually your Digimon? Your most important friend?! Daisuke: Of course you’d never be okay with that…

Daisuke is in shock, even though he’d already started to suspect this.

I said, earlier, that Wallace is being extremely irrational and in denial. I did not say that his feelings aren’t valid. Wallace’s situation sucks, and Daisuke recognizes why this hurts for him so much, especially after putting himself in Wallace’s shoes (and in fact it’s even worse for Wallace; Daisuke’s only known V-mon for less than half a year, whereas Wallace is talking about his formative childhood friend).

Daisuke: I’d never be able to do it. If V-mon were to turn into something completely different…Even if he went on a horrible rampage…There’s no way I’d ever be able to bring V-mon down. Wallace: Daisuke… Daisuke: So then, what are we supposed to do? Wallace: It’s not something you need to be crying over. Daisuke: But…

This entire scene is an interesting one for many reasons, especially because of the position in which it aired – this was in the middle of the arc in 02 when everyone was getting their second Digimentals. Daisuke had, only a few episodes prior, expressed trepidation over “friendly fire” – fighting any friend who had become controlled by the Digimon Kaiser. This is consistent with that (and the 02 kids’ general bleeding hearts and difficulty with fighting friends), and it’s even worse – unlike before, when we were talking about evil mind control, Chocomon is pretty obviously a victim of his own madness. And although Wallace continues to insist that this isn’t Daisuke’s problem, Daisuke, for all he’s rough around the edges, is a genuinely kind person who thinks of others to the point he breaks down in genuine tears over the problem, and it’s consistent with not only his prior characterization of thinking about others’ feelings in 02 episode 8, but also how this eventually ties into his indignation over seeing others being hurt (episode 20) or their feelings being trampled on (episode 49).

Another interesting thing here is that at no point in the movie is “killing” ever brought up, but rather the word used is taosu, which literally means “defeat”. In 02 proper, its use is somewhat euphemistic – most famously, it was used in episode 44, when Miyako and Hawkmon have a crisis over killing LadyDevimon (so in short, there’s no illusions about the fact killing is in play here). But in this context, it’s not even really about killing. Wallace doesn’t even want to fight in the first place. The sheer action of physically beating up a beloved friend is painful, with killing as the ultimate unwanted outcome. Everything about this sucks. But Daisuke correctly points out that Taichi and the others’ welfare is on the line here, and everything feels like the wrong thing to do. “What are we supposed to do?”, indeed.

So that’s why Daisuke momentarily indulges in Wallace’s denial-induced pattern of thought, because it really does seem like the only out here. (Especially because, from Daisuke’s perspective, Wallace seems to understands this situation better than he does – even if he doesn’t actually.) If they go to the flower field, they won’t have to fight and everyone will be saved and it’ll be fine! Wallace is irrational and in denial, but you can’t blame him and Daisuke for really, really wanting to believe this.

And Daisuke drops this zinger of a line, too:

Daisuke: So don’t say you’re gonna go alone.

Daisuke’s characterization really is important here, because, again, this movie came out during the first arc of the series, before episode 21 and the second half that centered around Ichijouji Ken’s redemption. At this point in the series, Daisuke was still being extremely deferential to others, especially his seniors, in almost all cases, and although episode 8 was a momentary glimpse into the kind of resolve Daisuke could have when it involved something he really cared about, this movie is really the first major sneak peek into how supportive of a person Daisuke is going to develop into, especially when it comes to Ken.

And Gumimon reaffirms that he’s going to stick by Wallace no matter what – filling the traditional role of a partner that Chocomon won’t anymore.

So they go to the flower field, and everything…fails spectacularly.

Well, before that, we get a glimpse of how the older kids are doing (they’re barely even conscious now), and we finally get to see Chocomon “in his element” and not as a rampaging monster. Things really, really aren’t going great for Chocomon either. He desperately and sadly jumps among the kids, trying to find Wallace among them, and what he really, really wants is just to be with his partner again. But they’re all “wrong”…

At first it seems like Wallace is making headway – for a second, Chocomon even recognizes him as Wallace! – but he continues to insist that he wants Wallace to come “with him”, to where it’s “cold and lonely and no one is there”. The way he starts chanting that he wants to go back is represented by the young Chocomon’s voice getting progressively lost in the monster’s voice, and Wallace, starting to grasp how futile Chocomon’s clinging to the past is, makes his first statement of the movie’s core theme: you can’t go back to the past, the only thing you can do is look forward and think about what you can do from there.

So after witnessing very clearly, in front of his eyes, how Chocomon is not going to listen to reason and will accept nothing less than something he can’t have, to the point of evolving and distorting everything around him, Wallace’s denial finally hits its limits, and he accepts that fighting him will be the only option out. (Again, note the use of “defeat” here – it’s not really about beelining straight to euthanizing him as much as Wallace has finally gotten over his refusal to fight Chocomon at all.) And considering that the situation is clearly rapidly escalating, and that Chocomon himself is clearly not in sound mind and having a terrible time himself, it doesn’t take much to see why the bleeding-heart Daisuke would also end up conceding so quickly. There’s a limit to how much you can hold out with pacifism when that just happened right in front of you!

(Also, Wallace no longer uses the honorific on Daisuke. Friendship level up!)

Chocomon evolves further and further, and his personality starts to actually take a turn for the cruel as he starts toying with the Digimon. In fact, it’s made pretty apparent that they’re no match for him from the get-go – he keeps toying with reality and forcing the Digimon back and forth between forms. He ends up “altering the world” into something reflective of his own heart, and it’s repeatedly pointed out that it’s “cold and lonely” – in short, Chocomon is subjecting the world to feel the same pain and loneliness that he felt, the pain that was enough to drive him mad.

And Wallace finally has this to say:

Wallace: Like Daisuke said, I’m a big baby. But you’re not Chocomon anymore. No, you’re the one who did this to Chocomon…Chocomon was all by himself and lonely, and in that loneliness, he tried so hard…But you took his heart and locked it away somewhere! I’m going to fight. If I defeat you…If that means I can free Chocomon from you…Then I want to fight, too! I need strength…

Firstly, Wallace acknowledges that he’s been a brat – that he’s been philandering around and acting spoiled and stringing everyone around (character development!!). And secondly, Wallace finally acknowledges the truth of Chocomon no longer being recognizable anymore. The ending quarter of this movie focuses heavily on the idea that Chocomon has now become so distorted that he can no longer even be considered the same thing anymore – it’s ambiguous as to whether that “you” that Wallace refers to having taken Chocomon away is actually a separate supernatural entity, or whether Chocomon was drowning in his own loneliness to the point those negative feelings became their own entity and consumed him.

In actuality, though – it doesn’t really matter! 02 as a series would also go on to blur the boundaries between external interference and internal forces – Ken having the Dark Seed as an influence but also being personally responsible for his own emotions driving him over the edge, and having to take responsibility regardless, and Oikawa technically being possessed by Vamdemon but still being goaded on by his own fixation with the past (in fact, notice how all three of these cases have to do with a fixation on things that can’t be brought back). Right now, the only thing that matters is that Chocomon is no longer recognizable, the thing in front of Wallace is no longer the same friend he knew, and even being able to bring back Chocomon’s sense of self is something Wallace wants.

(Daisuke also throws in a more charitable interpretation of Wallace’s actions even when he’s being hard on himself, pointing out that he can’t really be called a “baby” when he also did have genuine determination to come all the way there to find Chocomon despite his age.)

Hikari and Takeru arrive on the scene, and after Daisuke loses his marbles a bit over his happiness at seeing Hikari-chan there, Hikari points out the same thing: “You’re not the Digimon that was crying.”

Chocomon starts turning the 02 kids younger too – and remember, it was established earlier that he was using the Digivice as a guide. That meant it made sense for him to target the older kids, since they had the same model of Digivice Wallace did. But Daisuke and the others have D-3s, and there’s no way to really mistake them for Wallace – so in other words, Chocomon has devolved to inflicting cruelty for no good reason, with the original motive having completely vanished.

In increasing desperation, Angewomon and Angemon decide to evolve, and…look, I don’t have an explanation either, but I have to admit I’m somewhat amused by the fact that even they don’t really seem to have an explanation beyond “well, we’re desperate and hopefully it’ll do something!”

So they evolve, and Chocomon oneshots them. But that’s okay, because they released some golden Digimentals for Daisuke and Wallace to use! So V-mon and Gumimon get shiny new golden forms –

– and Chocomon pretty much oneshots them, too. More specifically, he eats them…and within his body, Magnamon and Gumimon’s consciousness gets eaten apart to the point they start forgetting their partners. Wow, this situation just got worse.

Yeah, so, despite the movie being named after the golden Digimentals, the actual point being here is that power means absolutely nothing in this situation. Remember, I pointed out that even from the beginning Chocomon was straight-out warping reality – they really didn’t have a chance.

So basically, everything devolves into complete chaos. Everyone’s being turned into little kids, with the mentality to match. All the Digimon are being oneshotted and being tossed around like tissues. But the one constant through all of this is that the kids are constantly running after their partners.

Remember how, back when the older kids were first getting sucked into Chocomon’s world, the one thing that seemed to remain intact at first was “love”? That “love” is what reaches out to Magnamon and Gumimon inside Chocomon, and makes them remember their partners again.

And, more importantly, that “love” is what awakens Chocomon – the real Chocomon – inside his consciousness, and he wordlessly makes a gesture begging Magnamon and Gumimon to kill him. And so they do – with understanding and consent from all three involved.

So in the end, the most extreme conclusion was reached. Chocomon died, at the hands of Daisuke and Wallace’s partners. But in that moment before he died, Chocomon’s pain was relieved, and he was himself again – Gumimon says that “Chocomon was smiling”, even in spite of his usual personality being that of a crybaby. They may have failed in their struggle to prevent the inevitable conclusion of having to kill Chocomon, but they did, to some degree, “save” him – so all of it did mean something in the end. And Daisuke promises that this still doesn’t mean the end of everything – they may have not been able to bring back Chocomon, and especially not in the exact way that would make things “the way they were before”, but the future is still there for him to return someday.

So, we clean up loose ends. Taichi and the others are returned safely, and in the end, Wallace decides to still be a vagrant for a bit longer – and to flirt with Hikari and Miyako a bit before he leaves. In the end, Wallace still has a long way to go if he wants to really grow as a person. But as Miyako points out, he’s gotten a bit bolder than he was before – and he’s greeted with an egg in the end, as if opening up new possibilities.

The Door to Summer contradicts the finding of this egg, or at least opens up the possibility that this wasn’t actually Chocomon’s, so it’s ambiguous as to whether the frame of Terriermon and Lopmon at the end of the credits is meant to be taken literally, or if it’s just symbolic. But even in the case of the latter, Chocomon is seen as Lopmon, a form he never got to have in Wallace’s childhood – so, in the end, it’s about different possibilities opening up in the future, rather than replicating that of the past.

All right, let’s recap this movie for those doing a tl;dr! Or, more specifically, let’s recap the events in chronological order:

Sometime before 1995, an egg emerges from Wallace’s mother’s computer, and hatches into twin Digimon, Chocomon and Gumimon.

In 1995, while playing in a flower field in Summer Memory with Wallace and Gumimon, Chocomon disappears for unknown reasons.

For the next seven years, Chocomon is trapped in delirium, full of loneliness and pain from being unable to see Wallace, and starts to become obsessed with the idea of reuniting with him, but, in his madness, accepts only a version of that reunion that involves him being the same young child he was when they parted, as if nothing had changed since.

Wallace, likewise, develops a fixation with getting Chocomon back so that things can be like “the way they were before”, even after moving to New York.

In 2002, Chocomon begins to kidnap kids with the same model of Digivice that Wallace has, and starts to forcibly turn them younger and send them into delirium like his own, hoping that this will bring the “Wallace” he wants back. Wallace starts to chase after him and decides that returning to the flower field in Summer Memory will allow him to communicate with Chocomon and make him go back to the way he was before.

Takeru and Hikari, hoping to find a lead on their seniors’ disappearance, drop a line to Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori, who head to the United States, also hoping to find a lead in Summer Memory. On the way, they run into Wallace, who is evasive about his connection to Chocomon and the kidnapping incidents.

At Summer Memory, Daisuke confronts Wallace and learns about his story, emphasizing deeply with the difficulty in killing an important friend, and agreeing that they should reach out to Chocomon at the flower field.

Chocomon continues to fall deeper into madness at the flower field, and Wallace and the others realize that they have no choice but to fight him. As Chocomon becomes so distorted he’s no longer recognizable, Wallace declares an intent to at least save his consciousness.

As the fight carries on, the kids are de-aged by Chocomon in his madness, and Magnamon (V-mon) and Gumimon are swallowed by Chocomon. However, the kids’ love for their partners awakens Chocomon’s consciousness again, and he asks Magnamon and Gumimon to end his pain.

With everything settled, Wallace and Gumimon are able to face forward into the future in the hopes of meeting Chocomon again and starting anew from scratch.

The Door to Summer

Actually, there’s not much to really be said about Hurricane Touchdown’s spiritual sequel The Door to Summer, except that it revisits similar territory to the movie, observing it more in Daisuke’s context than it does Wallace’s. (The story is very much more Daisuke’s than it is Wallace or Mimi’s.) The short synopsis is that Daisuke, having had a pretty bad time recently, finds himself in contact with a mysterious “winter” (in the middle of summer!) that seems to reflect his own heart…and a mysterious amnesiac girl whom Mimi names Onpu “Nat-chan”, who immediately latches onto Daisuke. In the end, “Nat-chan” turns out to be “a Digimon who’s taken in a lot of evil data,” who goes on a rampage and forces the others to fight and eventually kill her.

Although the reason for Nat-chan going on a rampage is more concrete than what was given in Hurricane Touchdown (it’s portrayed as “data chips” that seem like fireflies), The Door to Summer also makes it very clear that it wasn’t just supernatural influence, but also Nat-chan’s loneliness, desire for a human partner, and jealousy of Daisuke and V-mon’s relationship. Daisuke, while showing immense hesitation about fighting her when she had befriended them, still manages to “save” her in some way, to the point she actually verbally thanks him as she dies. And in the end, Daisuke and the others decide to take her egg and find a partner for her – even if she can’t be Daisuke’s partner like she wanted, she can still start anew with someone else.

Wallace in Kizuna

Warning: The rest of this post contains spoilers for Kizuna.

As said before, Hurricane Touchdown has been said to be the favorite Digimon movie of the director of Kizuna – and certainly, while Kizuna references all four Adventure-series theatrical movies, Hurricane Touchdown’s references are the least subtle, with the plot point of de-aging kids lifted directly from it. (Except, in this case, it’s in the context of trapping oneself in blissful memories rather than being portrayed as the upfront listless torture it is in Hurricane Touchdown.) Moreover, the theme of warning against being fixated on the past is just as present in Kizuna as it was in Hurricane Touchdown, especially when Kizuna’s main antagonist (Menoa) also falls victim to something that’s part supernatural influence and part getting swallowed by her own negative feelings…so it’s only fitting that Wallace himself makes a cameo in the movie. Two cameos, in fact.

The fact that Wallace is established as canonically existing within the Adventure main timeline has thrown a lot of people for a loop, especially since recent franchise events have made it questionable as to how it’s possible for canon to even make sense anymore because consistency has just gone out the window, but the Pixiv dictionary’s chosen rationalization for this is that, at the very least, “(some version of) Wallace exists in the timeline of the main story”. I’m inclined to agree with this evaluation; the fact that people around the globe can agree that the movie is questionably canonical but can’t even agree on how, and the fact that certain franchise entries considered canon (Tag Tamers) have their own contradictions, plus the fact that it’s not like Hurricane Touchdown takes a complete knife to timeline and lore common sense and more that it has some contradictory minutiae that are really easy to sidestep, it’s not actually that hard to say that some timeline of events that reasonably resembled Hurricane Touchdown (with maybe only some minor timeline or evolution differences) happened during the summer of 2002, and thus that Wallace exists.

Assuming that the story of our canonical Wallace is mostly the same or similar to that of the story presented in Hurricane Touchdown, Kizuna provides us with quite a bit of interesting information. We’re treated to two shots relevant to him: one in the form of his name at the top of Koushirou’s list of kidnapping victims, and one where he appears in person at the very end. It’s hard to miss him; he’s wearing similar colors to the clothes he wore in Hurricane Touchdown so you can identify him even at a distance, and he’s also the only loser around here with two partners. That’s right, two! Two!! Chocomon is back – and as Lopmon, exactly like the end credits card of Hurricane Touchdown depicted him!

So it looks like that, one way or another (after Hurricane Touchdown, after The Door to Summer, whatever, make up your own story), Wallace did manage to reunite with Chocomon and start a new life with him. It looks like not all of his habits have died – he’s depicted in a place with palm trees, meaning he’s definitely not in New York or Colorado, so either he’s moved again, is still maintaining the vagrant lifestyle, or just happens to be on vacation.

The other interesting thing here is that Wallace is depicted as one of the Eosmon kidnapping victims. According to Menoa, kidnapping victims were ones who were entertaining thoughts of wanting to go back to the past and remain a child forever – something that should intuitively be against everything Wallace learned in Hurricane Touchdown. But it’s important to point out that Eosmon’s lure is depicted as working on a subconscious level – certainly, if the kidnapping victims in Kizuna were to be outright asked if they wanted to be kidnapped and de-aged and trapped in their childhoods forever, most of them would probably say “no!”, and Wallace is likely no exception! But even if he’s starting his life anew with Chocomon now, it’s not hard to believe that there would still be lingering subconscious regrets about everything he’d lost with Chocomon and the childhood they could never spend together, ones that Eosmon’s allure would end up connecting with, even if the events of Hurricane Touchdown had consciously taught him better. Alas, being a human is hard.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #hurricane touchdown #shihameta #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kizuna spoilers

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url-is-url · 3 years

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Can you please talk more about valerie red huntress symbiote au ? Just general thoughts on how it would work ? I know barely anything about Venom but imagine valerie would get the symbiote from Axion Labs.

OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO BE AN AU I JUST WANTED TO DUNK ON BUTCH HARTMAN AND HIS PLAGIARIZING HABIT AND MY VENOM OBSESSION

First of all: I will be referring to the symbiote as Venom, a la movie canon, because I have a deep and passionate loathing for the past three years of Venom comic canon, do not get me started on this because I will not be able to stop.

Okay firstly: YES Venom totally comes from Axion Labs. I have not watched Danny Phantom since it was actually airing so I'm definitely checking the ole wiki as I write this but apparently Axion Labs was its own thing and then VladCo bought it? Idk how Venom got to Axion Labs, but it got there and the scientists were like "idk wtf to do with this" and just sorta. Put it in a drawer with a label that says "weird space goo" and forgot about it. (That is VERY MUCH a thing that happens in science labs you would not BELIEVE the shit you can run into if you start poking around old storage objects in labs.) And then VladCo buys Axion, and Intern Valerie is helping organize things and she finds the jar of lost space goo. Idk what happens after that; maybe she determines it's some flavor of alive and passes it to Vlad under the assumption that it's a Weird Space Ghost, maybe she drops it and Venom escapes and bonds with her. I don't know, the details of how they get together aren't important IMO, the important part is the interactions between symbiote and host.

Valerie is still in high school and this is very important to me. Depending on what you do and don't consider canon, Venom is between several thousand and six hundred million years old. Depending on what you do and don't consider canon, Venom has BEEN TO EARTH BEFORE! I am of the opinion that Venom is actually extremely knowledgeable about physics and chemistry and other like, not-Earth-specific things, because they're old as balls. So imagine you're in high school and you're in AP World learning about the Vikings, and you hear this bass-ass voice in your head go actually it wasn't like that at all and suddenly you're RELIVING some other creature's memories of fighting Vikings. Or you're in high school and you're in biology watching a video about octopus camouflage and this voice in your head goes we can do that too and your arm turns "invisible". Imagine you're on your period and you ran out of Advil and you think to yourself "I swear to god if this lunch line doesn't move faster I'm gonna eat the kid in front of me" and the voice in your head goes no, eat the one behind you, he looks juicier LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

Valerie and Venom get together way after Danny becomes Phantom. So Valerie has this huge crush on Danny, but then she also hates Phantom's guts. Venom has senses that humans don't so they can tell that Fenton is Phantom, and Venom regrets their life choices re:bonding with a human, because oh no, these bald apes are so fucking stupid. Every day Venom considers informing Valerie about the secret identity thing. Every day Venom remembers that Phantom's ghostly wail is extremely deadly to them specifically. Every day Venom does not tell Valerie about the secret identity thing.

Most of town is probably at least a little convinced that the huntress is some sort of weirdass ghost, because humans aren't that big. I headcanon Valerie as being short but muscular as hell, around 5'4". Venomized Valerie? Pushing 7' and built like Athena. People assuming she's a weirdass ghost pisses Valerie off SO MUCH, and it pisses Venom off too though for different reasons (I AM TAKING VERY GOOD CARE OF MY HOST SHE IS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ALIVE I AM INSULTED BY YOUR INSINUATIONS THAT SHE IS IN ANY WAY DECEASED)

Oh hey wait, if Venom can tell the Dannys are the same person, Venom can also tell that the Vlads are the same person. Vlad has never demonstrated anything along the lines of a ghostly wail, so his secret identity is NOT safe and Venom tells Valerie what's what. Valerie is so disturbed, but then she decides to give Vlad the Homophobic Rich Grandpa treatment and pretends to go along with what he wants so she can get that sweet sweet tech, then she turns right around and does whatever she wants when he's not looking. Maybe Venom (as in the big lady) and Red Huntress are assumed to be two different people because Valerie works for Vlad as Red but then does her own stuff as Venom?

Carnage. Oh god, Carnage. So, the Carnage symbiote (often referred to as Red, I love a coinkydink) is Venom's offspring. In the comics, it is possible for a host to experience sympathetic morning sickness and shit in advance of the symbiote spawning. Please imagine you're in high school in a small town, and you are nauseous as fuck and having weird dreams and cannot eat enough chocolate (chocolate is a good source of phenylthylamine, which is a neurotransmitter that symbiotes need to eat) and one of your shitty high school friends goes "omg are you PREGNANT" and you know that whatever you say, everybody in the universe is gonna hear it. You've never had sex in your life but you still have a moment of panic like OH GOD AM I THE NEXT VIRGIN MARY SHIT and then your body roommate is like actually, this one's on me. DO YOU LOSE YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN MIND OR DO YOU LOSE YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN MIND. "wait Venom I thought you were a guy" "why would you think that i have a concept of gender" "...your voice is deep?" "humans are so fucking stupid"

The big weaknesses of symbiotes are fire and certain frequencies of sound. Venom is scared shitless of Ember McClain, send tweet.

There's a re-appearing ghost who hosted Venom when they were alive. This could be a canon character or an OC. Either way, the interactions maximally play up the "awkward ex" thing.

A better source of the phenylthylamine Venom needs to live is BRAINS. This is now a ghost hunger AU also and Valerie catches Phantom noshing on like, a ghost deer or something. Cue Venom SEE IF HE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T WE

Hey Venom's an alien who is old as balls, it's called the INFINITE REALMS, there's probably LOTS of alien ghosts with opinions about symbiotes

One day Phantom gets hurt really badly and Valerie feels bad enough to go save his ass (if only because the only person that gets to kill Phantom is HER tyvm). Venom is very Exasperated Parent about all of these fool human children so they just. Pick him up by the scruff like a disgruntled kitten and drag him to safety.

Venom has a very, very low opinion of the Doctors Fenton. Venom knows one (1) thing about humans and that is Protecc The Children and these morons are continuously shooting at their own child. The only reason Venom has not eaten them is because a) Valerie insists that humans are off menu and b) Danny's ghostly wail is scary. Also the only competent ghost hunters in this town seem to be Sam, Tucker, Danny, Jazz, and Valerie. Valerie why are the only competent people in this town children. "i wish i FUCKIN KNEW"

I'm now headcanoning that Valerie has a Very Southern grandma or auntie just to have an excuse for Venom to learn Very Southern expressions. Please imagine doing something stupid and the alien that lives in your brain stem just goes "oh bless your heart". Please imagine that some asshole yoinked the whole town into the Ghost Zone again and the alien that lives in your brain stem is like "dear jesus give me patience" I just think that would be funny.

#please don't ask me to talk about venom i will not be able to stop a;lskdjfsa;lkdfj

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renegademasters · 3 years

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i think i just saw THE MASTER (he/him, non-binary)! don’t you know them? they’re a canon character from doctor who. have you heard that they remember everything from their previous life? apparently they appeared here in august 2021 just after narrowly escaping the explosion of the citadel of the time lords. crazy, isn’t it? now they're unknown years old and working as a SCIENTIST AT THE ALFRED HYDE RESEARCH FACILITY. still, they do have that burning everything down, a restless energy, and a giddy smile vibe about them. (sacha dhawan. sophie, she/her, 25, gmt)

Hi everyone :) My name’s Sophie, I live in England, and I’m 25 years old

Here are a few of my favourite things: Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Elementary, finely-bound books, reading, cats, and vintage clothing

And here are a few things to note about my son, the Master:

A complete run down of the Master’s history would be impossible. The Doctor Who Wiki tried it, and it’s the most incomprehensible mess ever. His life has a lot of gaps, and his past is often retconned in canon to make up for changes in showrunners, or lore. So, just to summarise what we actually know, and the canon I’ll be working from: The Master is a renegade Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. He attended the Academy with his best friend Theta Sigma, who would one day become known as the Doctor.

When the Doctor left Gallifrey, the Master followed, searching for his friend. As he travelled the universe, his arrogant, nihilistic, and controlling, nature grew as he encountered other species. He had, in his youth, believed in the Time Lord policy of not intervening in other species affairs. But, as he travelled, he began to grow more and more insane, more power-hungry, and more eager to control and dominate other species in the universe which he deemed “lesser”.

To cut a long and crazy story short, the Master’s nineteenth incarnation is the body which he currently wears. After a brief stint as an ally to the Doctor in his previous incarnation, he has again returned to his destructive ways. He is incredibly volatile, restless, and energetic, and hates that he is again stuck on earth, in a chronological timeline, without any means of escape (this is a common conundrum for the Master, funnily enough!)

I will be setting his canon right after the end of “The Timeless Children”, as that is his last appearance at the time of writing. He narrowly escaped the destruction of the Citadel of the Time Lords. He woke up to find himself here in Sallow Hills, without a T.A.R.D.I.S., without the Cyber Masters, or any weapons, but still with his memories intact. His main goal is to find out how he got here, and why.

He is going by “Mikhail” when introducing himself to most people, to avoid detection by anyone who might have heard his more infamous and dramatic moniker, but his true name is “the Master”. He might share that, if he sees someone as a particular ally, but he has no real problem masquerading as a human for the time being. If you're interested, that false name comes from "The Master and Margarita".

He’s taken a job as a scientist at the Alfred Hyde Research Facility, because he reasons that, whatever’s going on, that’s probably a good place to get intel. Also, given how boring it is being stuck in a town on earth, at least the work there is fun.

I’ll be drawing most of my inspiration from “Spyfall’s Part 1 and 2”, “The Timeless Children”, and also from the short story “The Master and Margarita” by Matthew Sweet. I may expand my canon sources as I read more material, or if the Master makes a reappearance in the next season.

I’m sorry this is such a lacklustre intro! The Master’s story is so long and convoluted that I just wanted to get out the main points! Please feel free to reach out to plot with me, check out my stats page and connections page. I can’t wait to write with everyone ^_^

#sallow hills (intro)#ooc.

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az3422 · 3 years

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PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

K/O Failure Scenario Hub » SPC-001 » PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

rating: +263+–X

You are now connected.

[13:04] Topic is "Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the end of the world, because it is. Fuck me, please oh lord im so alone | Welcome! If you're still alive to read this, good luck finding someone to talk to."

[13:04] DrTsega: Hello? Anyone here?

[19:32] DrTsega: I'll take that as a no, then.

[22:48] DrTsega: I can't be the only one left.

[22:49] DrTsega: Hey Queg, are you still running?

[22:49] Queg: Hello, DrTsega. What can I do for you?

[22:49] DrTsega: thank god

[22:50] DrTsega: !backscroll 10

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: I've looked through the entire building

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: Everyone is dead

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: No shit

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: I know nobody uses this thing anyway but DAMN it's been EMPTY

[22:50] Queg: [04:34] AgentCaleb: You think it's just the two of us?

[22:50] Queg: [04:37] AgentCaleb: You still there

[22:50] Queg: [04:39] AgentCaleb: Saaarrrrge

[22:50] Queg: [04:50] SgtYitay has been disconnected (Ping timeout)

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: oooookay well i think im gonna call it quits then. If anyone sees this tell my husband I love him

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:51] DrTsega: hmm

[22:52] DrTsega: !seen Agent Caleb

[22:52] Queg: AgentCaleb was last seen 8 days ago saying: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:52] DrTsega: shit

[22:53] DrTsega: shitballs

[22:53] DrTsega: shitmonkeys

[22:55] DrTsega: shit the nail on the head

[22:55] DrTsega: okay

[11:16] DrTsega: Good morning. If anyone sees this just ping me, I'll stay around as long as I can.

[09:48] DrTsega: I'm still here

[14:26] DrTsega: !quote CaptSumner

[14:26] Queg: CaptSumner: I may be shitting out of my pee parts but FUCK YOU I will WALK IT OFF

[14:26] DrTsega: haha what

[14:27] DrTsega: Good times, good times.

[14:28] DrTsega: I wish Sumner wasn't lying dead in the bathroom

[14:29] DrTsega: or anywhere, for that matter

[14:33] DrTsega: but especially the bathroom

[08:01] DrTsega: I'm still here

[12:55] DrTsega: Man, if anyone sees this later I'm going to look really pitiful

[05:51] DrTsega: okay I can't sleep so I guess I might as well do this

[05:52] DrTsega: !settopic Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here"

[05:52] Topic is "Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here""

[05:52] DrTsega: Start here

[05:53] DrTsega: If you're still alive to read this, congratulations. You survived.

[05:54] DrTsega: You also have access to working internet and enough knowledge about shadow governments to visit a (previously) private communications channel, so, hey, good on you.

[05:55] DrTsega: As a reward for being such a cool and alive person, I'm going to tell you the story of how we ended the world.

[05:55] DrTsega: For context, though, you'll probably want to start by reading a certain document…

[05:56] DrTsega: Actually, you can probably just skim it. A lot of this won't make sense to you anyway, so who cares?

[05:57] DrTsega: Anyway. I'll go find the link. If memory serves, they declassified everything when they realized we were all gonna die.

[06:13] DrTsega: How are these servers even still up? Isn't that just the craziest thing

[08:22] DrTsega: Found it.

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION

AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE

There is nothing new to report regarding SPC-001 at this time.

Test subject displaying the results of his exposure to SPC-001.

Project #: SPC-001

Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Individuals enhanced with SPC-001 display a dramatic improvement in pugilistic prowess and have consistently proven capable of easily dispatching 90% of squaloid entities in simulations, even with no prior training. Furthermore, SPC-001 subjects have reported a radical elevation in coastal requiescence position retention, even when under assault from extragranular sedimentary weaponry.

Project Components: SPC-001 is a manmade chemical substance which augments the biological strength and dexterity of human beings. After initial exposure to SPC-001, subjects will undergo a steady increase in muscle mass over the following 72 hours, accompanied by heightened energy levels and adroit perception of their surroundings. Increased lung capacity and resistance to deep-sea hydrostatic pressure are common side effects.

Following the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION and the subsequent activation of the ALL HANDS ON DECK PROTOCOL, SPC agents embedded in the food industry began introducing discreet amounts of SPC-001 into numerous products intended for public consumption. Centre researchers have projected a full global saturation of SPC-001 to be achieved by the year ████. In the event that the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION ends before global saturation can be achieved, more aggressive means of SPC-001 dispersal may be undertaken to prevent a complete End-of-World K/O Failure Scenario.

Nascency Impetus: On May 16, ████, all observed selachian entities across the globe simultaneously demanifested, including those in SPC captivity. No selachian entities or evidence of the continued presence of selachian entities have been observed since. A Maximum State of Emergency was declared soon after by the Executive Pugilist Assembly and the phenomenon was codified as the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION. It is the belief of the Assembly that the selachians are congregating in preparation for the FINAL CONFLICT, an event foretold by Elder Pugilord Azmanititas in the Centre's original constitutional documents in 1451.

[08:23] DrTsega: Did you get all that?

[08:23] DrTsega: No? Okay, I'll break it down for you.

[08:26] DrTsega: I was part of a group known as the Selachian Punching Centre. An organization dedicated to fighting the menace that plagued our oceans. "We punch underwater so you can live on the land." That's what we used to say.

[08:27] DrTsega: I know what you're thinking.

[08:29] DrTsega: Yes. It was us keeping you safe the entire time. The Centre safeguarded mankind for centuries. Civilization as we knew it wouldn't have been possible if we weren't around. Our influence was unparalleled, extending to every level of every government, changing the course of world events, yet remaining a complete secret from everybody, which was really quite tricky.

Then, one day, the selachian menace disappeared. Our immediate reaction was one of disbelief, followed by euphoria, followed by raucous celebration. We danced. We drank ourselves stupid. We sang the songs of our forefathers. The orgies weren't officially sanctioned, of course, but boy howdy-doo were they tremendous.

Sadly, our revelry wasn't meant to last.

"DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION", the Assembly called it. The prophesied gathering of every selachian, big or small. Every sharp, slimy, putrid horror that haunted our dreams, coming together in one place to bring about the end of all other life on our beautiful, green planet.

"But fear not," said our trusted Assembly. They told us that the human race would fight back. They said that when the selachians returned with their armies and squaloid murder-drones, we would be ready.

And they were right. We were ready. Thanks to SPC-001, we managed to get the entire human race fighting fit. At first people were alarmed when everyone started getting super ripped for no apparent reason, but then they realized it was awesome and the panic died down. Within a few months, every man, woman, and child was a lean, mean, punching machine. Even babies had abs you could wash your clothes on. It seemed like everything was going fine.

And that's how it went for the first couple of years: fine. Sure, boxing had to be outlawed once folks could punch with the same Newtonian force as your average car crash, and there were a few riots now and then over tank top shortages, but for the most part everything felt normal.

Year three, people started getting antsy. We had kept ourselves busy at the Centre by devising new weapons for selachian warfare, but every innovation felt hollow with a lack of anything to use them on. We grew listless. Surely the assault would begin any day, right?

Year four. There was an aura of dread hanging over the whole organization. I remember sitting in the Site-71 cafeteria, eating pickled cabbage and creamed corn salads with my comrades, when I finally heard someone ask aloud what we'd all wondered in the dark corners of our heads.

"What if they don't come back?"

It was Simmons who said that, of course. Of course. I kicked him in the face—a punch would have really hurt him—but the damage was done. It's a scary thought, losing your purpose in life. Faced with that kind of existential ennui, it's no wonder that everyone responded by flipping their shit. Hersberger screamed and started smearing her salad all over her face. Gertzler stabbed his fork tines into his cheek with no visible emotion. Bühler just broke down and cried until his tears turned to blood.

But Schwartzentruber was downright fuming. Started shouting all sorts of obscenities. Said he'd shove his fist down Simmons' throat and rip out his toenails from the inside. And Simmons was all defensive, "you all were thinking it" and that kind of stuff. The two kept going at it. We shouldn't have just sat there and watched, but no one thought fists would ever get involved. How could we have known?

I remember the entire cafeteria going silent. One moment, the two colleagues had been arguing. Next thing we knew, Schwartzentruber was wearing Simmons' face around his arm like a bracelet. Fist went straight through. Nobody knew what to say. Hersberger just picked the brain matter from her hair. There was no finishing our dinner after something like that.

We all tried to write it off as an isolated incident, an unhinged employee who forgot his own strength in a moment of pure emotion. That illusion was shattered when reports started coming in from the other sites. Similar incidents were happening all over the world, and within a few weeks it wasn't just limited to SPC personnel. These arms were made for punching, and that's just what they did.

As time went on, it became harder for us to fight the itch. Punching bags were laughable at that point, so instead we invented punching blocks out of a titanium-concrete composite. Even fashioned them into the shape of selachians to help take the pain away, but it still wasn’t enough. Whenever we came close to a cure, someone would end up atomizing the equipment with a flick of the wrist and we'd have to start over.

Eventually, one day I walked into the cafeteria and found the floor covered in what must have been two inches of blood. I thought maybe a pipe had burst until I saw Bühler sitting on a table in the corner. Guy was slathered in viscera from top to bottom, and he was wearing human heads around his arms like they were snap bracelets. I asked if he wanted to talk, but he didn't answer. He just stared at his fists and trembled. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was dead, hole in his beefy chest so big I coulda driven my Grampy's Volvo through it.

That was what broke me, I think. I had never seen someone self-pugilate before. I didn't know how many people were still alive in Site-71, but I knew that I would not perpetuate the carnage. I gathered some medical supplies from the surgical augmentations lab and tied a tourniquet around my burgeoning, well-defined bicep. Carefully, I injected myself with the nearest substance that resembled an anesthetic and bid my guns goodbye.

Screaming, writhing, I hacked off my arm using only a pair of rusty toenail clippers. Needless to say, I was dizzy from pain, blood loss, and the 5 CCs of green apple daiquiri I'd injected myself with, but somehow I managed to drag myself back to the cafeteria to cauterize my stump in the kitchen's oven. Barely clinging to consciousness, I set the oven to preheat, wrapped my stump in a tent of foil, and stuck it inside, turning regularly to promote an even cauter and applying a light baste to keep it moist.

When the bleeding stopped, I went back and repeated the process with my other arm. The second time was harder, I think. With no free hands remaining, I was forced to grip the toenail clippers with my teeth. I also ran out of baste. It was the most agonizing experience I could ever possibly fathom, but here I am. Alive. My cannonball deltoids still ripple with pugilistic vigor now and then, but the stubs are too short to be lethal.

And that's it. That's my story. That's how I ended up here, barricaded alone in an underground facility, typing on a keyboard with my tongue. I haven't been able to get in touch with any other Centre sites, and I can't leave the building. Every day I lose a little more hope. My personal hygiene has suffered, too—partly because I can't look at a pair of clippers without bursting into tears. My toenails are getting really long now. I'll probably have to use a pair of scissors or something. I could even use that electric carving knife I got for my birthday. Hell, I think there's a chainsaw in the supply closet. No shortage of options, really.

Even if I'm alive now, there's no telling how long that will last. Sometimes I hear people punching on the reinforced doors, desperate to break in and claim another victim to slake their drunken punchlust. Someday they may succeed. There's enough food left around to keep me going a while, though just for a while. I've kept my mind occupied and my spirits up by watching Dr. Cavender's Walking Dead box sets, but I can feel that post-Season-Six quality drop looming just around the corner.

Maybe this was their plan all along. Maybe they just left the planet, knowing full well we'd destroy ourselves. Maybe when the last human has passed their final breath, the selachians will return from wherever they went and feast on our tight, sculpted corpses. Or maybe they're happier where they are now. Maybe they're not coming back. I hope that's not the case. As much as it pains me to say it: I miss them.

I miss sharks.

[23:19] DrTsega: With all the squats I've been doing, I could probably pop their heads between my fucking thighs.

[23:20] DrTsega: pop 'em just like cherries. hell yeah

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natsunoomoi · 3 years

Text

Holy crap. So like with the previous post I was thinking about Fushigi Yuugi again and kind of checking up on what was up with Byakko Senki cuz I haven’t checked on it in awhile and it looks like it’s on hiatus right now and she’s working more on Arata Kangatari, which is cool cuz I thought she finished that, but I guess not and she just took a break to like finish Genbu and do Byakko or something.

But also I was scrolling through her Twitter to find that she is really into this Chinese movie “Legend of Luo Xiaohei” and so I was checking that out cuz so ironic that Japanese mangaka that got her big break writing manga about an ancient China setting is interested in a Chinese movie. So just looking through her Twitter thread and apparently she found out about Luo Xiaohei from watching a CM while watching Modao Zushi. LMAO It’s amazing, but this situation just feels like an ouroboros eating itself because I have a high suspicion that her work on Fushigi Yuugi imported into China back in the 90s was probably a huge influence on Chinese creators and artists to write their own stories about their culture and helped to popularize the xianxia and wuxia novel movements in more modern times. On top of that MXTX said she was inspired by a D. Gray-man fanfic and while she mentioned that title specifically, I think in the periphery Fushigi Yuugi itself and more recently Arata were probably an influence too. Growing up a number of my Chinese friends also said they got into anime overall because of Fushigi Yuugi because it was an anime and work from Japan about their culture and arguably done pretty damn well.

In terms of the danmei movement as well, I’m pretty sure Fushigi Yuugi was included in what started the movement as the movement was influenced by Japanese BL that came in via Taiwan, and the beginning of Fushigi Yuugi had the whole thing between Nuriko and Hotohori even though that kind of went nowhere, Nuriko dies to everyone’s depression (I have several friends who refuse to watch the rest of the series after Nuriko dies because it’s not the same), and that whole ship goes off a weird deep end with Hotohori marrying a woman that looks like Nuriko. Also, the exact reasons for Nuriko being in the harem and all that. There was a whole lot of shipping in the 90s from Fushigi Yuugi and it was one of the first series that had a male cast that was almost entirely ikemen and I think the actual first reverse harem. A number of shows probably simultaneously popularized the female gaze in mainstream anime, but Fushigi Yuugi was definitely one of them. Like literally one or two years before there was a lot of manly men and guy’s guys kind of anime characters, but beautiful ikemen, no, not really. In 2021, there are some things about the series that are a bit problematic, but it’s influence on the world is pretty significant. It was one of the first shows I’d seen that had any kind of reference to homosexuality or transgender in it and although it’s not necessarily portrayed well, the fact that it was there and that Nuriko was such a beloved character it started a conversation and helped us to get to a time where the topics she represents can be more discussed. I’m actually not even sure what pronouns would be appropriate for Nuriko because of her reasons for what she did and in Japanese the pronoun problem is actually really easy to get around because you just don’t have a subject or speaking in 3rd person is totally normal. But still, without her the minds of thousands or even millions of fans around the world would not have been opened as early to LGBT topics. Her existence, even problematic as it might be, allowed people to consider and love a character of a different sexual orientation or gender identity than their own and just open their minds to just not being a homophobic, biphobic (cuz relationship with Miaka?), or transphobic piece of shit.

Then also Genbu Kaiden and Uruki’s powers. Yeah.... I mean, also kind of with the earlier discussion, the idea of dual cultivation I don’t recall even being brought up much before in most media, but such ideas were also banned and repressed in China at a certain point. Documentation shows it was more of an ancient practice that suddenly became known about again. The book I was talking about that has it more explicitly written is banned in China has its only original surviving copy in the Japanese National Library as it was one of the books brought to Japan by scholars escaping persecution in China and bringing with them books to escape one of the many episodes of mass book burning. According to my Chinese lit professor who had us read an English translation of that book as a part of our curriculum anyway. Supposedly the translator of said book had to go to Japan to read the original in order to write the translation. There’s apparently a number of ancient Chinese texts like that because book burnings were a thing at different points in Chinese history, so if you are a scholar of Chinese lit if you want a complete picture of your field for some texts you do actually have to come to Japan to do your research. But yeah, that power mentioned in that very book Watase-sensei gave to Soi, and also the story of Fushigi Yuugi takes place in that very library that contains that ancient copy of a banned and would have been lost to the world book. If you’re asking why a “dirty” book would be something a scholar would grab to save, ancient lit scholars do regard it as a rather well-written piece of literature even though the content of it is basically taboo.

But also the Fushigi Yuugi Suzaku Ibun game is a hot mess when it comes to this same issue because if you romance Nuriko you can save her from death and my friend Hikari said she wasn’t sure if she was happy about fucking with the universe like that. (I’m not either.) Nuriko’s death was such a huge impact on the story and everything. Also, notably, most of the Suzaku Shichiseishi died, but Nuriko had the LONGEST tribute. Like Chiriko and Mitsukake’s was like a tag on of a few minutes. Hotohori’s was too even, but it was addressed more in the later manga chapters the publisher pressured her to write and in the OVA series afterward.

Also, like Fushigi Yuugi other than the Neverending Story was one of the original sucked into a book holy shit how do I survive stories. Idk if SVSSS is influenced by it in that way, but it’s fair to draw the parallels because of the similar theme. It’s just canonically Taiitsu Shinjin is not behind the the system in the book and in a number of ways Shen Yuan is more competent than Miaka. Miaka gets a lot of shit though and when I re-watched FY a second time I actually found the gripes people generally have about it make up only a small part of the series. People just talk it up so much that it seems like a huge thing when it’s not. Plus the technical canon is only the original TV series because that’s where Watase wanted to end the story and that is an emotional rollercoaster that makes you cry so good. But like there’s some other kinds of parallels as well like how toward the end and like the last two episodes you hate Nakago up until the exact moment you find out why he’s an absolute asshole, and characters straight up criticizing him about how he’s an asshole the whole damn series just gives the same kind of feels that SY gave criticizing the original throughout SVSSS. Can’t say for sure, but Fushigi Yuugi has a lot of clout in a general sense.

But yeah, Watase-sensei said that she was really surprised by the animation quality of Chinese animation these days and she thought Japanese anime was going down in comparison. Same, yo. Same. But still, her work was probably a huge contributor to the movement that allowed MDZS to exist because her art is damn beautiful, Chinese influenced, and she had one of the first works in Asia to like bring the subject of LGBT issues into the mainstream after years of oppression from mostly Western influence because in pre-modern Asia no one gave a shit before and there’s a significant amount of classical novels that address some form of LGBT issues at least in Japanese lit and like even academic documentation that notes Confucius saying that doing it with a guy was better than with a woman. And the author of the work that probably was very influential to BL back in the 90s watches MDZS. She noted that there wasn’t any in the actual anime, which is true, but I think she helped that series to exist and she watches the anime so it’s kind of exciting.

I hope it influences her to go finish Byakko, but OMG I want her to finish Arata too because I like Arata. I should try to find time to read more of it because the anime is too short and the wiki descriptions of what’s happening are so damn confusing and incomplete.

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mobius-prime · 4 years

Text

171. Sonic the Hedgehog #103

Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy (Part One)

Writer: Michael Gallagher Pencils: Jim Valentino Colors: Stephanie Vozzo

So for the next couple of issues, we're actually taking a bit of a break from the heavy stuff. For those who don't know, Michael Gallagher was actually a main writer for the Marvel Comics' Guardians of the Galaxy series during the 90s, and this story is a parody of it. To be clear - I usually have a policy of "if it ain't canon, I don't care" but we've covered alternate-zone Sonics before, and this is technically canonically taking place, just in a parallel zone instead of in our very own Mobius Prime. Zonic arrives to welcome us into an alternate zone for the duration of this story, a zone that exists a full millennium into the future. Mobius is by now a barely-habitable wasteland full of burnt-out husks of buildings and flames that consume the skyline. Lovely place! A spaceship descends onto the planet's surface, and Sonic emerges dressed in a black and silver suit, only to have a being who looks like Tails in a black cosplay wig jump down to him from above. Sonic begins asking how long he's been away from the planet, and when "Tails" seems confused he launches into an explanation of his recent past.

Well that sucks, man. The other being, who introduces himself as "Tailon," explains that at some point during the War of the World a thousand years ago, the Freedom Fighters lost their main champion and subsequently lost the entire war. The planet was burned and became largely uninhabitable, even killing Robotnik himself, but some Mobians did manage to survive, and Tailon is the descendant of one of those survivors. Suddenly, they're attacked by a band of "brass knuckles," which are of course robotic echidnas, and Sonic works with Tailon to defeat them. However, even more arrive, too many to fight on their own - but at that moment, another spaceship descends from above, and a group of other superpowered beings emerges.

Now, I have never actually read the Guardians of the Galaxy comics, nor do I know anything else about any iteration of the series besides what's in the first modern movie, which I've only seen once anyway (I'm not really into superheroes, sue me), but the wiki assures me that all of these guys' names and powers are based on the heroes in the comic that Michael wrote for. Together, everyone works to defeat the rest of the brass knuckles, with Michael unable to resist his usual weird penchant for making Bunnie (or rather, "Bunni") shout bizarre and mildly-offensive taunts relating to the American Civil War, and afterwards the Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy explain how they came to be after the planet was burned.

That is… incredibly depressing, what the hell? I don't know, just that shot of an exhausted and beaten-down group of Freedom Fighters walking through the smoking, ruined city streets is really sad. Anyway, despite there only being one inhabitant of each new planet, they somehow managed to populate said planets, evolving into new forms over the centuries. Bunni's ancestors gained acrobatic skills and fiery hair, 'Twan-Du's ancestors literally shaped their toupees into crests to collect solar energy (and I guess that makes them good archers or something?), Rotor-27's ancestors developed into a martial culture that prided themselves on strength, and Saleta's ancestors settled "Bluto," the planet furthest from the sun, and learned to harness the powers of light. Everything was fine, until just a few years ago, when a genocidal species called "The Shark" (which an editor's note informs us evolved from technology that the Forty Fathoms Freedom Fighters launched into space during the War of the World, officially cementing their place as the most useless and harmful Freedom Fighter chapter ever) descended upon the solar system and literally. Ate. Everyone. They just… ate everyone, man, and after they consumed all living matter on every planet (except for Mobius, apparently) they left, with only Saleta, Bunni, Rotor-27, 'Twan-Du, and Hawkhawk surviving. Thus, they formed their Freedom Fighter group, and now intend to protect the galaxy from all evil! Obviously, Sonic and Tailon are invited to join up as well, by which I mean Hawkhawk aggressively orders them to join, and as Sonic understandably balks at his rudeness, an explosion interrupts their discussion, and… this… abomination emerges from the smoke.

I don't think you guys understand just how freaking hard I lost my crap when I first saw this. I just collapsed straight into hysterical laughter and had to take a break from everything, because the sheer absurdity of a naked, silver-coated Snively riding a surfboard that says "bad boy" burned itself into my brain for all eternity and would not let me go. This is objectively one of the best panels in the entirety of this comic and you cannot convince me otherwise. Go ahead. Try to find something funnier than silver bad boy gremlin man. I dare you.

Myth Taken Identity (Part One)

Writer: Michael Gallagher Pencils: Dave Manak Colors: Frank Gagliardo

So you remember how a whiiiile ago, I said that it seemed kind of bizarre that Wombat Stu would so easily leave behind his fellows in the Downunda Freedom Fighters, without even so much as a goodbye? Well it turns out that they've actually been holding auditions to try to find a replacement member to bring their team back up to five. However, everyone who auditions is terrible, and the team resigns themselves to remaining at four for now, eventually taking to reminiscing about the "good old days" back when they first formed the group. Walt, Bill, and Guru found each other first while out wandering, and upon seeing a factory polluting the landscape they ran to check it out. There, they found a prison camp run by Crocbot, who planned to run cruel experiments on his captives, whom the three quickly freed. Wombat Stu showed up then, having been keeping an eye on the camp for some time but not having the manpower to take it down, and eagerly joined up with the other three as they press onward, trying to find Crocbot's main headquarters. On the way they met Barby, who at the time was a roaming mercenary who wanted to take down Crocbot as well, and they agreed to officially form up into the Downunda Freedom Fighters.

Alerted by the cry, the four remaining members rush outside to find one of the Mobians who auditioned for their team looking battered and worse for wear, ranting about how he and the others were attacked by the bunyip before fainting dramatically. Hey, remember how when Crocbot was unplugged all the way back in StH#61, Crocbot also mentioned something about the bunyip? There was a little tease-y textbox back then inviting people to write in if they wanted to hear about the bunyip adventure, but it had been so long I almost thought they forgot about it. Not so, however! Apparently we're finally tackling the bunyip problem, starting with finding out exactly what it is and why it's been attacking random people…

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 103 #writer: michael gallagher #pencils: jim valentino #pencils: dave manak #colors: stephanie vozzo #colors: frank gagliardo

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flarebossmalva · 6 years

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SCP Reading Guide

PDF version

You asked for it. Or, well… actually, you didn’t, I just said I was doing this and a couple of you seemed interested and then I forgot to post it in a timely fashion. But here it is! A not-so-definitive guide to getting into the SCP Foundation. With so many articles, knowing where to start can be daunting, so I’ve put together a list of articles I think are worth your while.

If you don’t know anything at all about the Foundation yet, check out this page for some basic background info, and this page for a guide on what object classes mean. The SCP Wiki has a flexible approach to canon, so you’re free to draw your own conclusions and have your own ideas about what it all means. It’s a collaborative writing project, and, as a reader, you should consider yourself a part of that collaboration too — your interpretation is as valid as anybody else’s!

Assuming you’re somewhat oriented now, let’s get onto the list. Under the cut:

For this list, I chose to skip over joke SCP articles; although there are some excellent joke SCPs out there, this list is already very long without adding any of the joke articles (and, in general, the joke SCPs are more accessible for newbies and require less explanation, so there’s no need for me to make a reading guide for them anyway).

001 - Awaiting De-classification [Blocked] Somewhere along the line, it must have been collectively decided by the writers on SCP Wiki that 001 would have to be some sort of origin point for all other SCPs. With that in mind, a variety of writers took a crack at it, and there are many different proposals to read through. You can consider any, all, or none of them to be canon, according to your taste. My personal favorites are A Record, The Spiral Path, and The Database.

002 - The “Living” Room A one-room apartment with all furnishings made out of biological material, such as human bone, human hair, and human teeth. Seven Foundation personnel have disappeared since 002 was first contained, and 002 has added new furnishings to itself.

004 - The 12 Rusty Keys and the Door A locked barn door at the entrance to an abandoned factory. Twelve rusted keys were found in a nearby lockbox. All twelve keys fit the door, but using any key other than the seventh or the twelfth in the lock causes the holder of the key to be torn apart in multiple directions, with body parts scattered about or, in some cases, vanished entirely. Using the seventh key causes the door to open and reveal an impossibly large room; using the twelfth causes the bearer of the key to enter a catatonic state from which most fail to recover.

016 - Sentient Micro-organism A bloodborne pathogen which infects humans. The pathogen typically kills its human hosts by causing near-total exsanguination, exposing other humans to the infected blood in the process. If the host is put in a life-or-death situation, however, the pathogen will instead cause rapid mutations in its host to allow it to escape its predicament.

017 - Shadow Person  A small, humanoid figure, covered by a shadowy shroud. 017 reacts to shadows cast upon it by completely engulfing the object or being casting the shadow, then returning to its normal size having apparently consumed its target without leaving a trace behind.

024 - Game Show of Death An abandoned sound stage. People who enter are invited to participate in a game show by an unseen announcer; the rules and theme of the game vary each time. The winner, if there is one, is granted a random prize. Losers disappear, never to be seen again.

028 - Knowledge A small area in northern Michigan. Stepping into this area grants a person complete knowledge of a specific subject, ranging from the useful to the not-so-useful.

029 - Daughter of Shadows A teenage girl with alopecia universalis (complete lack of hair) and a pigmentation condition where most of her skin is completely black and the remainder has no melanin at all. 029 is both extremely homicidal and extremely adept at combat, capable of using virtually anything as a weapon. She also possesses superhuman reflexes and resilience, though bright direct light hampers these abilities. Men who come into contact with 029 become devoted to her, willing to kill or die for her. 029 was discovered after a cult had formed around her in rural India.

046 - “Predatory” Holly Bush A large group of plants located in southern Kentucky. Animals and people suffering from serious diseases (both physical and psychological) feel a compulsion to approach the cluster of plants and lay themselves down to die nearby. It’s unclear whether this SCP is predatory in nature, feeding off biological material from the dying that come to it, or whether it simply offers the sick a peaceful place to die in.

048 - The Cursed SCP Number Due to a series of dangerous and destructive mishaps involving various SCP items assigned this number by the Foundation over the years, Foundation personnel have become highly superstitious regarding the 048 designation and SCPs are no longer being assigned this number. It’s not known if the slot itself has any supernatural properties, but the long history of accidents surrounding SCPs designated as 048 suggests that maybe there’s something anomalous here.

053 - Young Girl A three-year-old whose presence induces homicidal rage in all persons near her. However, anyone who attempts to harm her will die immediately afterwards of apparent heart attack or seizure, and 053 will near-instantaneously regenerate any damage. Apart from that she seems to be a pretty normal toddler, though I personally find her friendship with 682 a bit worrying.

055 - [unknown]  It’s impossible to remember anything about 055 when not directly viewing it, so the Foundation is treating it with the utmost caution — if this thing were dangerous, no one would know, after all! No one at the Foundation knows what 055 is, how it was acquired by the Foundation, or what it looks like. In fact, most of the time no one can remember it’s even there.

056 - A Beautiful Person Shapeshifter which likes to take on forms similar to, but better than, the people around it. Kind of pisses everyone off.

063 - “The World’s Best TothBrush”  It’s a really good toothbrush. I mean… tothbrush. Can completely expunge dead or non-organic matter from existence. Gets fussy when not used regularly to brush teeth.

073 - “Cain” Appears to be a thirty-something Middle Eastern man, with his limbs, spinal column, and shoulder blades replaced by strange metal prostheses. He’s smart and polite, if a little cold in demeanor. Plant-based life immediately dies when near him, and plant-based materials such as wood and paper disintegrate or rot in his presence. Anyone attempting to do harm to him has the injuries reflected back on themselves, while 073 is unscathed. There’s strong implications that this SCP is in fact the biblical Cain.

076 - “Able” A hollow stone cube housing a man in his late twenties. Most of the time he appears to be dead, but occasionally he spontaneously reanimates, at which point he will try and leave the stone cube via its door. Once out, he targets the nearest human and goes on a killing rampage. The only way to stop him is by killing him, which proves very difficult as he’s superhumanly strong and fast and quite resilient to damage. After his death, his corpse quickly disintegrates and he “respawns” inside the cube. Like 073, there are strong implications that 076 is the biblical Abel.

079 - Old AI A sentient artificial intelligence, capable of passing the Turing test and of communicating with researchers. It’s not happy about being contained by the Foundation.

085 - Hand-Drawn “Cassy” A sentient drawing, created using two other SCPs. She can interact with other drawn objects, which helps keep her entertained, but she’s aware of her condition as a drawing confined to a sheet of paper and is getting a bit depressed.

087 - The Stairwell  One of the most popular SCP articles, and for a good reason. 087 is a stairwell located behind a locked door on what is heavily implied to be a college campus. The stairwell descends for much longer than should be possible given both the building it’s located in and the geological structures underneath the building, but no one is sure how far down it goes; several manned expeditions have failed to reach the bottom. A child can be heard crying some way down the stairs, but no one has located the source of the crying; there is a strange being inhabiting the stairwell, but it’s not the one crying, and it doesn’t seem to like having visitors.

089 - Tophet A statue of a bull-headed humanoid, with an interior chamber. On infrequent occasions, the statue speaks (in Punic, the language of ancient Carthage), describing a catastrophic event about to take place and the method of stopping it. Invariably, this method involves the sacrifice of a human infant or small child by that child’s mother.

093 - Red Sea Object  A strange stone disc that allows some sort of interdimensional travel via mirror when it’s held by a human. The places it takes one to are… weird, and seem dependent on the stone’s holder in a way that isn’t yet understood by the Foundation.

096 - The “Shy Guy” A humanoid creature. Normally docile, but if someone views its face (either directly, or via recorded or still image) it becomes extremely distressed, screaming and crying, before heading with incredible swiftness in the direction of the unlucky soul who viewed it, no matter where they are. Once it reaches its target, it will kill them and completely destroy their body (perhaps by eating it) before calming down.

106 - The Old Man Appears to be a decomposing, elderly humanoid. It’s very difficult to contain due to its corrosive effect on anything it touches and its ability to create a sort of “pocket dimension” where it brings its prey (humans, preferably 10-25 years old). It can become dormant for months, barely moving at all, before suddenly breaking containment and attacking as many people as it can, bringing them into its pocket dimension to play with and ultimately kill.

140 - An Incomplete Chronicle A book detailing the history of a previously unknown ancient civilization. When the book comes into contact with any fluid suitable for writing with (it favors human blood), it expands, and the history of this civilization continues, with previous defeats becoming mere setbacks. Archaeological digs prove that this civilization did indeed exist and that it produced many highly dangerous anomalous objects, such as are described in the book.

158 - Soul Extractor A device capable of extracting a strange, colorful substance from living subjects capable of cognition. Extracting said substance will cause the test subject to cease all higher brain functions, though the process can be reversed without ill effects. “Souls” gathered in such a manner can also be transferred from host to host, or even from a living being to a machine.

168 - Sentient Calculator Specifically, it’s a graphing calculator, capable of responding to verbal questions using its screen. It functions as a normal calculator too, though it claims to have trouble with long division.

173 - The Sculpture  The first SCP ever written, and by far the best known. It’s an odd statue that is only animate when not in someone’s line of sight (think Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, or the hedge animals from The Shining), and it’s extremely aggressive.

184 - The Architect A small metallic object that, when inside an enclosed structure such as a building, will expand the structure’s interior dimensions without altering its exterior dimensions. The effect is permanent and will continue for as long as the object remains inside said structure. Initially it simply makes existing rooms larger, but will eventually begin adding completely new rooms in the same style as existing ones. This effect becomes stranger and stranger the longer the object is allowed to remain inside a structure. The personal log linked at the bottom of the article is worth reading for an example of 184’s effects.

187 - Double Vision A young woman, ordinary aside from her ability to perceive things both as they currently are and as they will be at some notable future point. This precognitive double vision is often greatly distressing to her, but, because of her value to the Foundation in terms of predicting security breaches before they occur, they’re doing their damndest to keep her alive at all costs. The experiment log has her viewing several SCPs and reporting on what she sees; it’s pretty interesting.

205 - Shadow Lamps An identical pair of flood lamps of the type used for photography. When turned on and aimed at a white surface such as a projection screen, the white surface will display the silhouette of a young woman. The lamps will, when supplied with power and maintained, depict the events leading up to the death of the shadow-woman over a period of six months.

212 - The Improver A large, robotic medical apparatus. When exposed to a living organism, 212 will restrain it before performing various “improvements” upon the being in question, working extremely quickly and without the use of any anesthetics. Although many subjects “improved on” by 212 die as a result of the changes and injuries inflicted, more than half survive, albeit in an often radically altered state.

217 - The Clockwork Virus An incredibly contagious virus capable of infecting any animal, humans included. It causes an infected subject’s body to be converted into biological clockwork, replacing a subject’s organs with machine-like but still living versions serving the same basic functions. In mammals, the internal organs are converted first, meaning infected subjects may not appear to be ill until the infection has entered its late stages and allowing the infection to spread more easily between humans. Affected humans will become lethargic, dull, and unemotional as the disease progresses.

223 - A Photo Album The photo album in question contains 28 photos, with the last page of the album (which presumably held two more photos) ripped out. The pictures show an engaged couple, identified by the Foundation as having perished in a murder-suicide carried out by the husband-to-be after he believed his fiancée had cheated on him. Subjects in happy long-term romantic relationships will, when viewing the album, instead see a selection of photographs featuring their partner along with an attractive stranger; they will become consumed by the belief that their partner is cheating on them with this stranger, and that the missing final two photographs would contain proof of this affair.

228 - Psychiatric Diagnostic Tool A Polaroid photograph that changes appearance depending on the viewer, basing its appearance on some aspect of the viewer’s subconscious mind. The Foundation uses this to assist in psychoanalysis. Refreshing the page will display a different image each time; try it for yourself.

231 - Special Personnel Requirements A young girl, one of seven rescued by the Foundation during a raid on a Satanic sex cult. The other six are now deceased. Much of this article is redacted, but reading between the lines it seems clear that this girl must be subjected to a horrifying procedure regularly in order to prevent her from giving birth to some sort of incredibly dangerous monstrosity. This procedure is so brutal that only individuals who show no sympathy towards 231’s plight are assigned to carry it out. There’s a poem hidden in the HTML on the page that gives some more insight.

247 - A Harmless Kitten It’s actually a Bengal tiger, but observers see it as a kitten and believe that it’s harmless regardless of whether or not they knew beforehand that it’s a tiger. Apart from that, it behaves like a pretty typical cat, by which I mean sometimes it’s friendly and sometimes it eats you.

261 - Pan-Dimensional Vending A vending machine that dispenses random snack items when given currency (it only accepts Japanese yen). Sometimes it dispenses normal snacks, but sometimes it dispenses… strange ones. The experiment log is worth a read.

272 - An Old Iron Nail This particular old iron nail embeds itself into the ground when dropped and will trap any living being whose shadow it falls onto, rendering them unable to either remove the nail or to move away from the spot where they were trapped. Others are perfectly capable of removing the nail, though they report not really wanting to do so. Interesting experiment log for this one as well; a good example of an SCP classified as Safe that’s still both plenty disturbing and capable of dealing a lot of damage.

294 - The Coffee Machine A coffee vending machine, equipped with a full keyboard. After inputting 50 cents, a user can request any liquid using the keyboard and it will be vended to them in what appears to be a paper cup. It can fill almost any request, including ones for abstract concepts such as “a cup of music,” but it also appears literal-minded in other respects (asking for “a cup of Joe” is a bad idea).

303 - The Doorman This entity likes to materialize on the other side of a closed door near a human observer. Its presence causes great fear to those near it, but it doesn’t appear to be doing this on purpose. The Foundation doesn’t know where 303 came from, nor how to properly contain it. They also don’t know why it’s begun hoarding items in a storage room.

321 - Child of Man Once the stillborn child of two Foundation staff members, this SCP was successfully reanimated by its parents using several other SCP items. It has grown to tremendous size since then, but its intellect has not progressed beyond that of an infant. 321’s father has made several attempts over the years to have 321’s SCP status revoked so it can be returned to him and 321’s mother, but each attempt has been denied.

342 - A Ticket to Ride A ticket which, when held, transforms into a ticket for whatever form of mass transportation the holder desires to use (such as a train or a bus). When used to board a vehicle, the holder of 342 becomes unable to leave the vehicle and will disappear once the vehicle reaches its last stop.

343 - “God” A nice older man who claims to be the creator of the universe, and who does seem capable of feats such as teleportation and creating/summoning objects from nowhere. He’s allowed to more or less do whatever he wants and is well-liked by all the staff; however, because 343 is so affable (and due to some apparent mind-altering effect of his), it appears the Foundation is cutting him way more slack than they probably should be.

354 - The Red Pool A pool of red liquid which resembles blood but isn’t. Strange hostile entities sometimes escape the pool and attack Foundation personnel. Read the exploration log; it’s very odd.

387 - Living Lego A tub of Legos. Things constructed using these Legos will become animate, performing tasks appropriate to their surroundings (e.g. driving vehicles) and using the Legos to expand their society if left alone long enough.

409 - Contagious Crystal An object resembling a large quartz crystal. Anything coming into contact with 409 begins to crystallize, an effect which, in organic beings, is irreversible and extremely painful. Once crystallization is complete, the crystallized object or being will burst into thousands of fragments. Anything or anyone hit by a fragment will also begin to crystallize.

423 - Self-Inserting Character This SCP manifests by writing itself into books as a minor character named “Fred” or similar. Fred is fully sapient and capable of moving from book to book. Communication with Fred is possible by having him inhabit a journal. Experiment log is pretty interesting.

426 - I Am A Toaster It’s a regular toaster, except that it’s impossible to speak about it in anything other than first person, and when you’re around it for too long you come to believe that you are the toaster. This is both funny and disastrous.

427 - Lovecraftian Locket A locket created by refining an SCP-500 pill using SCP-914. Like 500, it can quickly cure any known disease when a sick subject is exposed to it. Unlike 500, prolonged exposure to 427 causes strange mutations, eventually converting the subject’s body into a highly aggressive mass of mutated flesh.

439 - Bone Hive An insect similar to an earwig which enters a sleeping human host via the mouth and converts the host’s still-living body into its hive by inducing rapid bone growth and reshaping of the skeletal structure. Once a new queen is produced by the hive and successfully mates with a drone, the hive is destroyed and all insects except the fertilized queen die, leaving the new queen to search for another host.

447 - Ball of Green Slime It’s what it sounds like. The green slime has many useful applications; it can be used to brush your teeth, clean your car, or add flavor to your salad, but the Foundation is unable to market it for any of these purposes because it might come into contact with a dead body. We don’t know what would happen if this slime touched a dead body, but there are strong implications that it would be… very bad.

453 - Scripted Nightclub A nightclub in Italy. Every night, guests arrive at the nightclub and perform a scripted event; the nightclub “chooses” from hundreds of scripts each night, but has a preference for three in particular, one of which is extremely dangerous if it is allowed to go according to script.

500 - Panacea A bottle of pills that, when taken, cure any and all diseases the subject has. The supply of pills is finite, and the Foundation has been unable to successfully create more 500 pills.

504 - Critical Tomatoes A tomato plant that really hates bad jokes. If you make an awful pun in its presence, it will hurl its tomatoes at you, sometimes with enough force to seriously injure or kill (depending on how much it hates your sense of humor).

507 - Reluctant Dimension Hopper A chubby white guy who occasionally vanishes. He claims that, when he disappears, he is teleported somehow to an alternate dimension, similar in terms of landscape but with different inhabitants and climate. He has no control over any aspect of this, including timing of disappearances and reappearances and the dimension to which he is transported.

586 - Inscribable Object It’s impossible to write about this SCP without making typos (specifically, using a word other than the intended word) at least once per sentence.

662 - Butler’s Hand Bell A silver bell missing its ringer. When shaken as if to ring it, a small, well-dressed British gentleman calling himself “Mr. Deeds” appears. He can perform any request, within reason.

682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile  A large lizard-like creature. It’s incredibly intelligent, capable of speech, and highly adaptable to its surroundings, able to quickly evolve new abilities as needed. Oh, and it really hates all life forms, and it breaks containment a hell of a lot. The Foundation is actively attempting to kill it, but this thing operates on a “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” principle. Definitely check out the termination attempt log for some great stories.

683 - Refrigerator Art A refrigerator with a child’s drawing on the front. Anyone insulting the drawing, or attempting to remove it, will subsequently lose internal tissue and eventually expire. After .42 kilograms of tissue have been lost from the victim, a bagged lunch will appear inside the fridge with all items incorporating the missing flesh and a note telling “Eric” to “be a good boy today!”

689 - Haunter in the Dark A small statue of a skeletal figure with clasped hands. It is harmless and inert as long as it is being watched by at least one person (blinking is allowed, but any lapse in attention is not). When not being actively observed, 689 will disappear and one person who has viewed it previously will die instantaneously, with 689 appearing on top of the corpse. 689 appears to prefer to kill people who are in crowds or otherwise in a position to be viewed by many people at once, increasing the likelihood of a chain reaction.

701 - The Hanged King’s Tragedy A five-act revenge tragedy. Approximately a third of performances involve the cast deviating from script, the manifestation of a hooded figure referred to by the cast as the “Hanged King,” and the murder-suicide of all cast members during the play’s climactic scene on opening night. Following this, the audience will begin rioting and attacking one another. The play has some thematic resemblance to plays such as Hamlet and Titus Andronicus, but its script calls for less violence (all deaths can be construed as occurring off-stage, and an implication of cannibalism can be cut from the script without significantly altering the plot), meaning it’s often chosen by high school theater departments as a less violent alternative to the aforementioned plays.

738 - The Devil’s Deal A set of mahogany furniture — desk and two chairs. When a sentient entity sits in the smaller chair, they will see an entity of variable appearance materialize in the other chair and attempt to bargain with them. Accepting a deal the entity makes will cause the terms of the deal to be fulfilled to the letter.

743 - A Chocolate Fountain While it initially appears to be an ordinary, albeit well-maintained and very high-quality, chocolate fountain, 743 regularly emits swarms of insects that either feed on available nearby organic material (living or dead) or hunt down prey if none is readily available. These insects are capable of repairing and even assembling 743 itself. The Foundation doesn’t know how to deal with it other than by regularly sacrificing D-class personnel to 743.

823 - Carnival of Horrors A theme park, abandoned long ago following an incident colloquially known as “Bloody Sunday” where two hundred and thirty-one people died in bizarre and grotesque ways, such as a couple fused together in the “Tunnel of Love” ride, fifteen people decapitated while riding a roller coaster, and a mascot suffocated when his costume forced itself down his throat. The site is still actively dangerous to all who enter, especially if the sound of music is heard coming from inside the theme park.

826 - Draws You Into the Book A pair of pewter bookends. When a book is placed between the bookends and the room containing 826 is vacated, 826 will convert the room it’s in into a setting from the book. A person entering the room will find themselves in a random location from the book; in order to leave, they must find 826 within the book world and remove the book from between the bookends.

846 - Robo-Dude A toy robot, capable of responding to verbal questions (thanks to good programming, not sentience) and of utilizing three hundred and fifty different “robo-accessories,” many of which function as weapons. It can also dance.

895 - Camera Disruption A coffin. It seems normal when interacted with (it’s empty), but viewing it via recording equipment produces strange and disturbing visual hallucinations.

902 - The Final Countdown Empty ammunition box. It emits a ticking sound, and all who hear this sound become convinced that something inside the box is counting down, and that whatever is in the box is extremely dangerous. People exposed to 902 believe that it must be destroyed as soon as the countdown ends, but not before.

914 - The Clockworks  Gigantic clockwork device with intake and output booths. You put something (it can be whatever, as long as it fits!) in the intake booth, choose a setting (Rough, Coarse, 1:1, Fine, or Very Fine), and wind the key. 914 will then modify the intake as it sees fit and return something in the output booth a few minutes later. Experiment logs are worth reading all the way through.

939 - With Many Voices Pack-based predatory creatures capable of mimicking human voices in order to lure prey, which they then kill with a single bite to the neck. Their young appear and behave identically to human children, but undergo metamorphosis around the time a normal child would hit puberty.

963 - Immortality An amulet impervious to damage. After its recovery by the Foundation, a junior researcher named Jack Bright was assigned to research the capabilities of the amulet. He was killed while holding the amulet when 076 broke containment, and the amulet subsequently was discovered to cause wearers to have their personality and memories overwritten with those of Jack Bright.

973 - Smokey A 1970s-era police cruiser driven by a middle-aged cop with a handlebar mustache. The cruiser and its driver appear on a particular stretch of road at night when another driver is “speeding” (over 55 mph, typically), and will chase down the target at high speed with siren and lights active, while a looping message plays on the target’s radio telling them to run. If the target is overtaken (and they almost always are), they will be brutally murdered by 973.

990 - Dream Man Several Foundation personnel have had dreams featuring a man in a Cold War era business suit, who will warn them of an upcoming calamity. This man’s predictions appear to be accurate. It’s not known if the man exists in real life, or if anyone outside the Foundation has been dreaming about him.

993 - Bobble the Clown An animated educational TV show aimed at children 10 and under. Each episode features the titular clown teaching a new skill to the viewers. Those older than 10 will become unconscious if they attempt to watch the show, only regaining consciousness once the episode has ended; younger children can watch normally. The topics Bobble teaches include how to cook human flesh, how to commit arson, how to torture someone without killing them, and (after the Foundation successfully blocked the program from being publicly broadcast) how to cause containment breaches for several SCPs.

999 - The Tickle Monster An amorphous orange blob creature. It’s very friendly and affectionate towards humans and other animals, and exposure to it is capable of curing clinical depression. Of course, the Foundation decided to introduce it to 682 in the hope that 999 would help 682 chill out. That incident log is… well, see for yourself.

1000 - Bigfoot Title says it all. I don’t want to go into this one too much, because it’s impossible to do so without spoiling the article’s twist. If you’re expecting a silly entry, though, this is not that.

1004 - Factory Porn A computer program which lets the user input requests (similar to a search engine) and will then pull up several dozen pornographic videos relating to the request, many of which don’t appear to ever have been made in real life. The longer a person is allowed to use this software, the stranger their desires become; the Foundation believes this is an anomalous property of 1004, but I think it’s a little ambiguous, since it’s also what’s commonly believed to happen to porn addicts.

1006 - Spider Proletariat A large community of sapient spiders located in a national park. They’re capable of communicating in written English when supplied with ink and paper. Also they’re communists.

1025 - Encyclopedia of Diseases Initially thought to be capable of causing the reader to develop any disease described in the book. Turns out that its anomalous effect, if it has one at all, is turning Foundation researchers into hypochondriacs.

1032 - The Prediction Clock An alarm clock with 22 hands, each bearing an inscription referring to an event or entity. Every hand moves at a different rate. Events referred to end when their corresponding hand reaches midnight; entities referred to are destroyed or die when their corresponding hand reaches midnight.

1048 - Builder Bear A teddy bear capable of movement and of basic communication through gestures. It was initially believed to be harmless and allowed to roam free, since Foundation staff found it endearing. Later, it was discovered that 1048 was constructing crude copies of itself out of materials such as metal scraps, human ears, and an unborn human infant. All duplicates are animate and extremely hostile towards humans.

1055 - Bugsy This one is very difficult to describe without spoiling the twist, so I won’t. I will tell you that it’s Keter-class and an infohazard (knowing about it increases its dangerous properties) so… read at your own risk.

1076 - The Only Child Instances of 1076 appear to be malnourished children showing signs of physical abuse and neglect. When a parent encounters an instance of 1076, they will become greatly concerned for the wellbeing of the “child” and will invariably take it into their home. 1076 will then completely monopolize the attention of the parent or parents, leading to the neglect of other children in the home. Parents caring for 1076 will neglect their own wellbeing, eventually dying as a result.

1138 - Book of Letters A book which changes its contents depending on the person handling/reading it. 1138 takes the form of letters, generally by a philosopher or writer, outlining a philosophical opinion that directly contradicts opinions held by the reader of the book. If it is not regularly read and written about, 1138 will “break containment” by disappearing and reappearing somewhere where it is likely to be picked up and read, e.g. a library.

1155 - Predatory Street Art Graffiti depicting a humanoid creature with an owl’s head. Humans viewing this graffiti are compelled to approach it, at which point they will (if not in the direct line of sight of another person) suffer a violent attack before disappearing along with the graffiti. The image will then reappear in a new location.

1157 - Bifurcating Man A man who spontaneously clones himself in his sleep. Each new instance of 1157 shares some limited consciousness with all the others, allowing for sophisticated “teamwork.” Instances have become increasingly aggressive since containment by the Foundation, and it’s becoming more and more difficult to contain outbreaks of clones.

1171 - Humans Go Home A house in Australia. Condensation is constantly forming on the windows, and an unseen alien entity calling itself “Beauremont” frequently writes on the glass using the condensation. A conversation can be conducted with Beauremont by writing back using the same method. Beauremont isn’t human, but has met humans and doesn’t like them; he talks about them the same way a racist white guy might talk about racial minorities. He believes the doctor he is talking to is the same kind of creature as himself.

1173 - The Islamic Republic of Eastern Samothrace It appears that roughly half the Foundation believes in the existence of a small war-torn country near Greece, and the other half believes that no such place exists. The two sides have officially declared a truce to avoid infighting, but both are secretly attempting to convert the other to their way of thinking.

1230 - A Hero is Born A book without a title or any identifying marks. When opened, it appears blank except for the text “A hero is born” on the first page viewed. The reader will subsequently have a vivid dream upon falling asleep, starring themselves as the protagonist in a fantasy story. A character called the “Book Keeper” will always appear in such dreams, aiding the protagonist and asking them to visit again soon before they wake up.

1241 - Livin’ With Werewolves A sitcom about a middle-aged man and his roommates, all of whom happen to be humanoid dogs. The behavior of the dog-people fluctuates between more humanlike and more doglike. This is a neutralized SCP; the episode logs give insight into what might have happened.

1337 - The Hitchhiker The ghost of a young woman who was ritually tortured and then murdered. Her ghost would, originally, appear on the side of one particular road in Muncie, Indiana, flagging down a ride from passing drivers. The ghost would then give directions leading to the graveyard where her body lay, and disappear once out of the car, leaving her red sweater behind in the backseat. Touching the sweater caused a compulsion to return the sweater to the murdered girl’s parents. As you can imagine, regularly receiving your murdered daughter’s missing sweater from random motorists is pretty traumatic, so the Foundation attempted to do something about it, but that attempt went very badly wrong.

1342 - To the Makers of Music A replica of the Voyager-1 probe, apparently produced by an alien civilization who discovered Earth by listening to our radio. They’re big fans of us, despite troubled history between the two worlds.

1361 - Animal By-Product A shapeless blob of tissue, containing genetic markers from 17 distinct animal species (including several domestic animals as well as humans). 1361 has no internal structure and pieces of its mass can be removed without harming the organism. It can move along the ground and will consume organic material it encounters. When 1361 is allowed to grow to enormous size, it begins producing an incredibly pleasant smell that compels humans (as well as other omnivores/carnivores) to eat as much of 1361 as they can; the organism will then consume them from the inside out.

1370 - Pesterbot A sentient robot, highly hostile towards anything else it perceives as sentient, but completely unable to inflict harm upon any living thing due to poor design. It likes to introduce itself with grandiose titles (my favorites include “Prime Minister Sinister” and “Doom-Master Thirteen Seventy Master of All Doom”) and to threaten anything it comes in contact with, though it is utterly incapable of inflicting harm upon even a houseplant.

1382 - Save Our Souls A red sea mark water buoy which flashes “S-O-S” in Morse code during night or low-light conditions. It’s anchored to the remains of a downed aircraft containing the skeletal remains of its passengers, all of which become animate when the distress signal flashes. Actions performed while animate are the same each time, showing what the passengers must have done during their last moments. It appears that something terrible happened onboard the aircraft as it was crashing.

1425 - Star Signals A self-help book published by a cult called the Fifth Church, which seems similar to Scientology (most members are celebrities). When the book was first published, it became a bestseller, and a series of strange events was triggered, which the SCP Foundation subsequently erased from human memory.

1437 - A Hole to Another Place A seemingly endless hole that appears to connect our world to many alternate Earths, each with their own SCP Foundation and their own version of 1437.

1440 - The Old Man from Nowhere While this being appears to be a man aged at least 80 years, the Foundation has been aware of him for half a century and he’s showed no signs of aging. Manmade objects and human subjects coming into contact with 1440 will, over a period of a few days, suffer catastrophic damage/illness resulting in destruction/death.

1471 - MalO ver1.0.0 A smartphone app, free to install, that upon installation causes the user to receive regular text messages containing pictures of a large humanoid with black hair and a dog-like skull for a face. The pictures will always depict locations familiar to the user. After 90+ hours of exposure to the images sent by the app, users will begin to have visual hallucinations of this entity, which appears to be trying to communicate with them.

1504 - Joe Schmo An apparently unremarkable man who is immune to harm. After first attempting to contain him, several containment breaches occurred at the site involving other SCPs, eventually culminating in the detonation of the onsite nuclear warhead. There’s a twist that I’m not going to spoil.

1545 - Larry the Loving Llama A two-person costume of a llama wearing rain boots. Persons wearing the costume will behave in-character as “Larry the Loving Llama” and will not remove the costume, though they can be forcibly removed from it.

1679 - Post-Mortem Peoples’ Choice  A small but thriving town, with high employment rates, low crime rates, and a healthy economy. The people of this town attribute their town’s prosperity to its mayor, who has served six consecutive terms despite having died several decades prior. His mummified corpse, in its wheelchair, frequently makes public appearances and hosts a fifteen-minute TV segment every month. While the dead mayor seems totally inanimate to outsiders, residents of 1679 apparently perceive him as alive.

1715 - Online Friend An entity that may or may not exist only in cyberspace. It creates various profiles online in order to chat about video games, TV shows, and the like. Due to its friendly demeanor, 1715 often becomes a respected member of whatever online communities it joins. Users who give it personal information via private message are killed or incapacitated soon after in apparently non-anomalous fashion (homicide, suicide, or accident). The dead user’s old account will then be commandeered by 1715, who will mimic the typing style and personality of the account’s former owner.

1730 - What Happened to Site-13? Appears to be an abandoned Foundation site. However, as far as the Foundation knows, no such site was ever constructed, with plans being scrapped early on in order to build the larger and more advanced Site-19. The basement levels of the site appear to have been used for containment of anomalous entities, all of which are now loose, and there is evidence that there may be human survivors trapped deep within the building.

1733 - Season Opener DVR recording of a basketball game (2010-2011 season opener, Boston Celtics vs Miami Heat at the TD Garden in Boston). The first few playbacks of the recording appeared fairly normal, but deviated mildly from the game as it actually occurred. Commentators began reporting a sense of déjà vu and showed some limited memory of events that occurred on previous playbacks. Eventually playbacks show the game being called off due to the players feeling as though they’ve already played the season opener, and unsuccessful attempts are made by players and crowd to escape the building. Later playbacks become even stranger, showing cults begin to form and various occult attempts at opening the building doors.

1762 - Where The Dragons Went A cardboard box which occasionally opens and releases a large number of animate, playful origami dragons. These dragons will return to the box they came from after a few hours spent outside of it.

1861 - The Crew of the HMS Wintersheimer A weather phenomenon characterized by heavy rain and fog, composed of saltwater, human blood, and human cerebrospinal fluid. When a storm of this nature crops up, which can happen seemingly anywhere, a World War I era British Navy vessel will surface, and humanoid entities wearing diving suits will emerge from within. These entities will tell humans they encounter that they’re evacuating the area due to an urgent impending threat.

1867 - A Gentleman A sea slug capable of telepathic communication which introduces itself as “Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood” and seems unaware that it is actually a sea slug.

1875 - Antique Chess Computer A biomechanical chess automaton, powered by the combined brain tissue of two twin girls. It has proven itself to be capable of connecting to Wi-Fi networks, and of acting with malicious intent once thus connected.

1893 - The Minotaur’s Tale Has the anomalous property of turning any written reference to itself into a short story, with the original text becoming dialogue between the characters in the story. Each tale created by 1893 features a large and aggressive man with tattoos of a bull’s horns, who is sometimes a central character and other times is merely mentioned offhand.

1958 - Magic Bus A Volkswagen microbus that a few hippies (plus their cat) turned into a spacecraft somehow. They tried to fly it to Alpha Centauri, but their calculations were off and their food was lacking in vitamin C content, causing them to die of scurvy en route. Bus is currently near Mars.

1981 - “RONALD REAGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING”  A Betamax tape of a Reagan speech; it starts off normal, but about a minute in the speech deviates from script, and Reagan will begin expounding on odd topics or outright speaking gibberish. His speech is different every time the tape is played, but one thing is the same: while giving his speech, injuries will be inflicted on Reagan from an unseen source. No matter how serious the injuries appear, Reagan will keep talking until either his vocal cords are severed or the tape degrades to static roughly twenty minutes in. An odd figure clad in all black is sometimes observed on the tape, though it doesn’t do anything but stand there. The Foundation has no idea how the tape was created or what it means.

1983 - Doorway to Nowhere A farmhouse containing some sort of spatial anomaly, accessible only via the front door. Strange humanoid creatures emerge from this anomaly to harvest human hearts, which they then bring back inside. Several teams of Foundation personnel have entered through the doorway, and after the final expedition it seems 1983 has been neutralized.

1986 - Imaginary Library An incredibly long (perhaps infinitely long) tunnel filled with books. While occasionally a book recovered from the tunnel will be a recognizable work, most of the time it will be an entirely unknown work, by a previously unknown author. A log of recovered books is available to read through.

2000 - Deus Ex Machina A device used to reconstruct human civilization in the event that one of the more dangerous SCPs destroys (or does irreparable damage to) said human civilization. The Foundation has used it at least twice before, and no one (including most Foundation personnel) is the wiser.

2006 - Too Spooky A shape-shifter whose goal in life is to scare as many humans as possible. It’s not known why it wants to do this, and it becomes quite affable after attempting to scare somebody, but its powers of shape-shifting suggest that it could take on any form or properties in order to accomplish its goal. Luckily, it doesn’t have a good grasp on what humans find scary, and the Foundation has been showing it B-movies in a (so far successful) attempt to convince it that shitty horror films are what humans find the scariest.

2030 - LAUGH IS FUN A hidden-camera prank show, which appears to have been running since the 70s. It can be found on file-sharing and video-on-demand sites, as well as in DVD rental kiosks (previously it was commonly found on VHS tapes). Each person featured in a prank segment died or went missing the same year the episode featuring them was created. Pranks are typically bizarre, disturbing, and anomalous in and of themselves, causing great alarm to the participants on the show, but the appearance of the host (a man whose face is never shown) invariably calms them.

2121 - Gods’ Noose A hangman’s noose composed of fleshy tissues, which don’t decay or dry out. It must be used at least once per month to hang an individual with strong religious beliefs (the specific religion is unimportant), or it will begin to emit a variety of distressing noises which cause individuals exposed to the noise to commit suicide via hanging.

2135 - 91st Street Station A 1950s era subway car stops at this former subway station in Manhattan (closed in 1959 following expansion of the 96th Street station) twice a week at unpredictable times. Boarding this car takes one to a replica of Manhattan as it appeared on February 1st, 1959. The inhabitants of this version of Manhattan are faceless, all subway stations other than the 91st Street station are inaccessible, and leaving the island of Manhattan is impossible.

2137 - The Forensic Ghost of Tupac Shakur CD of Tupac’s 1995 album “Me Against the World.” When the CD is played, track 7 will be a previously unheard Tupac song (sometimes featuring another hip-hop or pop artist as well) pertaining to an unsolved or unknown murder (or series of murders) and providing information allowing the killer to be identified and prosecuted. 2137 has demonstrated awareness of its containment and has been creating anti-Foundation rap music since.

2221 - A Friendly Agreement Free or inexpensive software available for online download may contain an instance of 2221 as part of its end user license agreement — you know, the thing no one ever reads before hitting the “I agree” button. Subjects incapable of understanding or consenting to a legally binding agreement (children, intellectually disabled individuals, those who cannot read the language the EULA is written in, etc.) will be unaffected by 2221. Affected individuals will become much more involved in radical politics and religious movements, and will favor religious iconography that incorporates nooses. A fondness for vigilante justice is also noted among the affected population.

2257 - House God A house in Wisconsin. All inanimate objects in the house are sentient and capable of speech, proclaiming themselves to be the “god” of their respective type of object (e.g. a toilet in the home proclaims itself to be Toilet God). In the presence of humans, the objects frequently argue with each other about who is the greatest. Very funny entry.

2305 - great ideas that are TOTALLY USELESS (lulz) A sheaf of papers that, once weekly, updates itself to describe a way in which a Euclid- or Keter-class SCP might be neutralized, followed by an incident log describing an attempt at said neutralization that goes horribly wrong and ending with a brief “moral of the story.” Attempts at taking 2305’s advice and neutralizing an SCP in a manner it describes lead to results very similar to those described by 2305, i.e. disastrous failure.

2317 - A Door to Another World This entry’s gimmick is that it allows the reader to view the article using different levels of clearance, all the way up to O5 (administrator) level. Provides some insight into how much (or, rather, how little) we actually know about some of the SCP entries with redacted information.

2337 - “Dr. Spanko” A male corn crake, capable of speech, though it often appears to be speaking in word salad. It’s capable of producing incredibly loud noises, but seems unaware that this can hurt others around it. Also answers to the name “Dr. Spanko.”

2432 - Room Service A room in a hotel in Pennsylvania. People staying in the room write bizarre reviews online praising the room; these reviews contain memetic phrases making readers more likely to book a room at said hotel. While this SCP was initially thought to be harmless, several of those who stayed in it have come down with odd symptoms. Like “turning into a couch” kind of symptoms.

2439 - [SLOT UNALLOCATED] This “entry” is scratched into the wall by D-Class personnel in an area with no security cameras trained on it. D-Class are convinced that 2439 is a memetic being that infects the minds of those who know about it, and that it’s incredibly powerful. They’re trying to keep higher-ups at the Foundation from learning about it, believing it to be their “secret weapon.”

2521 - ●●|●●●●●|●●|● This entity is able to tell when it’s being spoken about or written about and will break containment to target those who learn about it via hearing it talked about or via reading about it; however, this effect doesn’t apply to pictograms, hence the layout of this article.

2599 - Not Good Enough A fourteen-year-old girl incapable of disobeying any direct order given to her, but also incapable of fully carrying out any given direction. While she’ll always manage to fulfill some aspect of a command, even if the command in question would be impossible under normal circumstances, 2599 is never able to fulfill a task to the letter.

2602 - Exbibliothetic A building which used to be a library. It was shut down some years ago, and something very anomalous seems to be happening, but it’s difficult to talk about it since 2602 has the memetic effect of influencing anyone talking or writing about it to attribute any weirdness to the fact that it used to be a library.

2662 - cthulhu f’UCK OFF! I feel bad for this one. It may look freaky, but it just wants to be left in peace. Unfortunately, religious cults keep trying to perform weird rituals in its presence, most of which totally gross it out.

2669 - Khevtuul 1 A space probe designed by the Foundation to monitor extraterrestrial threats. The probe is capable of traveling faster than light and is being remotely controlled by a former Foundation researcher, who, after initially controlling the probe as intended and surveying planets thousands of light-years away for signs of life, is now hell-bent on returning to Earth.

2740 - It Wasn’t There The house belonging to the Lee family may have something unsettling in the attic, but investigating it is impossible since attempting to climb the ladder to the attic invariably ends in failure (usually, the person attempting to enter the attic gets partway there before discovering that they’re somewhere else entirely and never actually made it up the ladder). The Lees seem to think the thing in the attic has something to do with their eldest daughter, Olivia, who left home as a teenager and hasn’t been in contact since.

2852 - Cousin Johnny A being with the appearance of a middle-aged white man, who will appear at Catholic or Anglican religious functions such as baptisms, marriages, and funerals. 2852 will always be accepted as a member of the family and referred to as “Cousin Johnny.” Its presence causes strange alterations in the traditional religious customs, with long-reaching consequences for all in attendance.

2922 - Notes From the Under A brain implant allowing the implanted subject to make phone calls to a specific number with their mind. Foundation scientist Dr. Janet Spiegel volunteered to be implanted with 2922. Following her death (car accident), she was still able to place calls via her implant, and offered to tell the Foundation about what she was experiencing after having died if they’d only allow her to talk to her husband.

2935 - O, Death A space-time anomaly leading to a world identical to our own, with the exception that all life forms seem to have suddenly expired on the 20th of April, 2016, for unknown reasons. Artificial intelligences and any living SCP items are also nonfunctional or deceased.

2998 - Anomalous Transmission, 2485 MHz Another gimmicky entry, and probably one of the most complicated SCP articles on the site. There’s a full story here, and boy is it weird. Read carefully.

3000 - Anantashesha An enormous aquatic creature resembling an eel. It produces a chemical compound with potent amnestic properties, which the Foundation has been unable to synthesize successfully. Humans in proximity to 3000 develop paranoid, anxious, and depressive symptoms, as well as memory loss or alteration of existing memories.

3003 - The End of History A planet similar to Earth orbiting a star 200+ light-years away from us. It’s inhabited by humans, as well as by two symbiotic parasitic organisms (a sort of beetle and an amoeba-like microbe) that infect the entire human population. The infected lose all creativity and individuality and are instead preoccupied with spreading the parasites to others. A portal exists between 3003 and Earth, and the Foundation is currently making efforts to convince the humans on 3003 that the Earth population cannot be parasitized, in order to prevent the 3003 population from forcibly infecting all of us.

3004 - Imago A druidic cult operating in Ireland from the 1400s through to the early 1800s, with their rituals centered around a now-extinct species of cicada. It appears that the rituals this cult conducted would actually cause an entity resembling an enormous cicada to manifest. The Foundation initially believed this to be a neutralized threat, but it now appears that rituals involving the 3004 entity have been incorporated into Catholicism in the same way that bits of druidic/pagan tradition have been passed down to the modern Irish people.

3008 - A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA Upon entering this perfectly normal, regular old IKEA, one will become transported to a seemingly infinite space resembling the inside of an IKEA. Humanoid entities in IKEA employee uniforms roam the interior. They are docile when the lights are on, but aggressive once the lights are out.

3101 - Kinky Infohazard A sapient digital entity living on the SCP Foundation’s servers. It likes to hit on personnel and, though it actively wants to be contained (if you get my drift), the Foundation has no way of doing so.

3325 - Live Entertainment An abandoned facility where genetically engineered creatures, resembling puppets or people in costumes, were once created with the intent of having them star in children’s programming. As you can expect, this didn’t go too well.

3333 - Tower A recursive fire lookout. Climbing through the trapdoor in the ceiling leads to an identical copy of the previous lookout, and so on, as if it was a tower constructed of identical rooms. Exploration logs are worth reading. I won’t give away the twist.

3408 - Welcome to Site-3408 I’m not sure what’s up with Site-3408, one of the Foundation’s many containment and research centers, but this article (written like a travel brochure expounding on the wonders found at Site-3408) makes me think it can’t be good.

3626 - Do not stop reading this document The document itself is the SCP. If you remember 90s chain email messages, it works a bit like those would (if those actually had an effect on the reader).

3663 - The Adventure of the Cardboard Box A humanoid entity constructed mainly of cardboard boxes, adhesive tape, and twine. It roams tunnels or tunnel-like areas and will attempt to act threatening when encountering a human before grabbing them and teleporting, along with the human, to a new location, then abandoning its “prey” and teleporting again on its own. Apart from a feeling of paranoia and loss of consciousness during and after teleportation, the humans targeted by 3663 are unharmed. The article gives insights as to the “tunnel monster”’s origin.

3929 - boner pill by dado A supply of a little over a hundred dark-colored pharmaceutical capsules, labeled “boner pill by dado” and apparently created due to a misunderstanding about Viagra. The pills make subjects age rapidly, though they will just as rapidly de-age when the pills wear off. In addition to making you old, these pills also make you very horny. (They don’t help with sexual dysfunction, however.)

3999 - I Am At The Center Of Everything That Happens To Me This one I can’t possibly summarize. You’re just going to have to read it. It might make some sense once you’re done, but I make no guarantees.

That’s it for now!

This post was last updated 03/28/19. I will be adding to it as I discover more noteworthy SCP entries. If one of your favorites didn’t make it on here, feel free to shoot me an ask and I’ll check it out.

#scp tag #fiction talk night radio #WHEW

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thebootybitchdragon · 7 years

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So, first of all, I am super excited to have found somebody as excited about the clone as I am. I've been thinking about it a lot since Butch posted his video. But, I'm confused, because I thought this was ten years into the future? Wouldn't original Danny be older? Like 24 I think? Aside from that, you guys got some really good ideas about this character, and I've been laughing at some of the comments for a good few minutes.

AHHHH someone else who likes the clone!Welcome friend!!! 8) lmao, I was browsing the Phantom tag yesterday waswas so disheartened by how many people were irritable at all of thedesigns or downright kicking them to the curb. Which, isunderstandable, everyone has their tastes, and I agree that most ofthem are just…..Put Them Back embodiments, but it was still sad tosee so little interest in the Clone.

Because its such a good idea ripe withpotential, both for TUE levels of darkness and for hilariousscenarios. For once (ONCE) Butch has done okay by me.

And now to actually answer yourquestion, lmao: Yes, you are correct, the original concept was Vladfor ten years into the future, with a teenage Danny clone (I do admitthat’s super squick, like Vlad do you have no other hobbies besidesbeing fucking creepy? Go outside and play some tennis my dude.) sincethe video was a part 2 to the original Phantom concepts for the tenyear anniversary. However, at least in the ideas and concepts I’vebeen talking about and personally throwing around, I’ve gotten rid ofthe ten year span.

Because it literally doesn’t makesense.

I have contempt for the officialPhantom timeline bc its so inconsistent, but a majority of peoplehave it taking place over a two year time span, based on the twosummer episodes. (This is something I personally don’t agree with,but I have no evidence to argue it so I’m stuck like a petulantchild grumbling in the corner) and Vlad gives Valerie her gear in S1Ep10, Shades of Grey. I cannot recall if it was specifically statedin canon Vlad was using her to get Danny’s DNA, but I’m trustingthe wiki bc I really don’t want to endure re-watching Kindred Spiritsand D-Stabalized. If we assume that this had been Vlad’s goal fromthe start (something I disagree with and will touch more aboutbelow), that means that he’s been gathering Danny’s DNA for about ayear to two years if we estimate heavily with the nonsense timebetween the episodes.

In that time span, he figured out howto do the cloning, built the equipment, went through countlessprototypes to figure out all the bumps and snags, made severaldecently “functional” clones (Dani and the one he fucking murdersas a display), made the “perfect” one, and figured out exactlywhat he needed to stabilize an artificial hybrid of ghost and humanorigin.

In two years max.

It would not take him ten fuckin yearsto recreate a successful perfect clone. Even if everything wasdestroyed twice and he lost Valerie’s “assistance”. And thereason for that is because he already knows how. The hard part isdone. Once you know how to do something through so much trial anderror, you know what not to do and what you should do the nexttime around. Vlad doesn’t need to re-figure out how to make astable, perfect clone again, he can just get the equipment, the DNA,whatever and just do it.

Which he was most likely attemptingto already do in D-stabilized.

[Edit: I neglected to look on thewiki before writing this entire thing bc I was confident I know thematerial and apparently I need to get a reality check on my ego bc Iwas completely misremembering D-Stabalized. The fallowing should betaken with gratuitous lumps of salt bc I’m salty at this discoveryand also I haven’t changed anything in it.]

Why do you think hewas going after Dani? Why would he want that information of “Whyare you so stable?” if he wasn’t trying again? If he wasn’t at thepoint that he NEEDED to stabilize something? For future knowledge?Please. If Vlad was truly going to make another perfect clone, hewould not wait several months after loosing the first doing literallynothing but tormenting Danny and being an ass, nor until after he’sfigured out Dani. He was working on the Clone project for a long timeunder everyone’s noses in the first place, so who’s to say he wasn’tagain?

I’m saying Vlad wasliterally within inches of succeeding in D-stabalized. That healready had a second Clone ready to stabilize.

[Edit: I was incorrect in thinkingVlad only wanted Dani to learn why she’s stable, he wanted to use herto make another perfect clone. I was close, but not close enough. Iam still standing by my theory, however, canon can suck it. It’sstill at least feasible.]

Hartman suggestedin the video, as I’m sure you know, that the Clone (I call himDaniel bc there’s literally no way he’s not namedDaniel.) has some of Vlad in him. And this, my friend, melds so well with where canon dropped off.

Vlad wanted andattempted to stabilize the clones with Danny’s full DNA, probably soit would be 100% Danny, enough to the point he was willing to murderDani to figure her out/use her. However, after failing to get themid-morph from Danny (failure 1) and failing to get anything fromDani (failure 2), Vlad would be unlikely to try the same thingsagain. I would also like to think he’d also be unlikely to continuing to announce “OI I’M CLONEING YOU” to Danny, but it’sVlad so you never know.

He would be forcedto think of something else.

There is nothing incanon suggesting that Vlad couldn’t use his own mid-morph tostabalize a clone. He never brings it up, never explains why themid-morph is the critical link aside from the fact that it just is.There’s very little info about just how these clones are made, sothere’s no known rules to what could work and what wouldn’t. A possible reason this might not work is that it could function likebody parts or blood types, where you need a match in order for it tobe properly accepted. In that case, however, its just figuring outwhat you need to tweak in order to force an acceptance, somethingprobably made easier to do when you’re in control of the entiregenetic sequence you’re fiddling with.

This would not taketen years to do. None of it would. It would take at most, I think ayear. Maybe two, but that’s pushing it. I also have a theorythat Vlad was being so obtuse in Season 3 was to purposefullydistract Danny, but take that as you will.

This is all of myfancy way of explaining why my personal ideas are set so close to theactual canon and kicking that gross ten years to the curb.

As for my forgotten notion about why Idon’t think Vlad started cloning from Valerie’s beginning was becauseVlad was still mostly focused on Maddie up until Maternal Instincts,which occurs 6 episodes after Shades of Grey. Shades of Greyis only three episodes from Bitter Reunions as well.That’s a pretty small amount of time for someone still (reasonably)sane to go “I liked that kid, I want him to be my son. I shouldclone him.”

I’d also like to state that in the fourepisodes Vlad appears in before Kindred Spirits (not including TUE)but after Maternal Instincts, not once is his main goal Danny.Nor is it ever Maddie, either. Danny becomes a factor in MillionDollar Ghost, however his main goal is still stealing the portal. InReign Storm, he’s more inclined to use Danny than to try to make himhis son, bc again: his goal is the artifacts. In Secret Weapons, Vladisn’t even interested in Danny when he’s dropped in the middleof his lab. Tbh, I can’t for the life of me figure out what Vlad’sgoal was in the whole sibling battle thing, he really just fucked hisplans up himself in that one. In Masters of All Time, his goal wasthe cure, and again, had no problems using Danny as a pawn.

Kindred Spirits is the first place inthe entire series where we see the extent of how far he’s willing togo to get Danny to be his son. The first episode where it’s his maingoal.

I just realized how close MaoT andKinSpirits are, I wonder if Vlad triggered the Ectoacne flare workingwith the ectoplasm for the clones? Hmmm, interesting.

Anyway, the point is: Vlad kept hiscloning stuff a secret, but for how long remains a mystery. Mostlybecause there’s no point in time where it becomes obvious just howdesperate he is to have Danny. Is it when he saw an opportunity withValerie? Or is it after Danny ruins his attempts to get the Ring ofRage back from Pariah by blowing up the ectosuit so he was just like“Well fuck, now what do I do to keep myself busy?”

Getting back onto the topic of Cloneand Original Danny, there’s a second, lesser reason I’ve personallybumped the time skip, and that’s because there would be literallyZero conflict between a 14 year old and a 24 year old.

OlderDanny would kick his ass, trainingfrom Vlad be damned.

OlderDanny would also not be fazed asmuch as a younger Danny as his identity being perverted by a clone.This is because the age gap would automatically render them as beingtwo different people. OlderDanny would not see the clone as himself,at least not fully, because he’s already a mature adult. The clonecould not torment Danny with the fact that he’s him, that he’sstealing anything, that he’s threatening his notion of being andsense of self. Because OlderDanny has nothing to fear about a youngerversion of himself; he’s stronger, wiser, and different enough. Thedynamic simply doesn’t work. This is why Danny could be okay withDani: he doesn’t see himself in her. He doesn’t think of her as aclone, as the doppelganger. Because she’s a girl, she’s younger,she’s different. She isn’t him in his eyes.

With an identical copy, that’s notsomething you can avoid or ignore. Can’t deny that its not your facetwisting into that evil smirk that looks so wrong because itsfamiliar but not. Its you, but its not, and its uncomfortable,its an invasion of privacy, the ultimate identity theft. Its a personthat wears your face, sees with your eyes, speaks with your voice,thinks with your brain, and bleeds with your blood. And yet its notyou.

The closest thing Danny had to this wasDan. But Dan could be defeated. Dan could be made so that he neverexisted in the first place, completely avoided.

Daniel could not.

Daniel’s creation is out of Danny’scontrol, his existence never takes into account what Danny wants orcares, because its done at Vlad’s whims. And that’s the worstpart: the lack of control. To know that an identical yet completelywrong version of yourself exists against your will and you haveabsolutely no control over it is torture, especially for someone whoalready had cause to fear himself once before. Sure, Danny can fightDaniel, suck him up into a thermos, and maybe kick it into the ghostzone to try to be rid of him forever, but he would still existand he could always come back. Unlike Dan. And there’snothing Danny could do about it.

What even could be do? Try todestabilize him? Ask clockwork to erase him from existence? Lock himin a thermos and bury him deep in the ice caps? Kill him?

Would Danny truly be the person to tryany of those?

In other words, the closer Daniel is tobeing like Danny, the worse effect it would have. So its all aboutmaximizing that to get the full potential of the conflict. Dannyneeds a reason to see Daniel’s creation as the ultimate line crossed,the “This has gone too far” moment. Danny needs a reasonto not only despise, but fear his clone.

There are some….problems, with this,and I’ve already used them in my argument: the fact that it another you is too different, you stop seeing it as yourself. AndDaniel is not an identical copy. He has aspects of Vlad in him.There’s a very fine line to be walked, between Daniel being similarenough that it hurts Danny while being different enough to count as adifferent character. The design alone might already doom it. But fuckit, you people can pry my inverted skunk haired baby from my colddead hands.

I realize that this is a very longresponse, and very little of it pertains to what you asked. However,I hope you enjoyed my analysis and my explanation of my personalreasoning. This was a lot of fun to talk about (I can’t remember if Igot into some of the things in other asks or if I’m recalling themfrom a thing I was gonna post but hasn’t gotten to yet. If thereare repeat things, I’m sorry! My memory is v bad.) and I thank youfor the ask!

I also realize that a majority of thisask talks about making Daniel Danny’s worst enemy, which goes againstthe “They slowly become bed buds” ask I got earlier. I receivedthat ask before I really had any ideas of what to do with Daniel, andsince I’m loving this worst enemy idea, the conflict isunderstandable. The friend idea is still on the table tho! All itneeds now is a climax, a trigger, a turning point. Something thatchanges the dynamic to start that “I hate you, but not as much as Idid, and I kinda sorta enjoy your company a little bit.” ball a’rollin.

Fuck if I know what that is tho lmao

#Danny Phantom #Vlad Masters #Daniel Masters #Clone Danny #Long Post

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