A few thoughts:
JASON TODD, my beloved
I aspire to have the confidence Tim Drake does. I mean, going out as Robin with pretty much NO training at all and then telling Jason Todd, former Robin and current Red Hood, to spar him as if Jason wouldn’t obliterate him in 5 seconds. I love Tim with my whole heart
Jason training Tim will live in my head rent free for the rest of my life
“Was I on your fucking bucket list?”
“Kind of, yeah” Okay nerd (same)
Jason giving Tim a motorcycle????????????????????
Dick being the one who called to have Jason train Tim (lots to unpack there and it is easily one of my favorite things now)
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thinking about how harry wanted to make the show special for everyone watching and he sat down and composed a 10 minute ballad that perfectly encompasses the way he’s feeling and what love on tour (and the ending of it) feels like to him and he loved it so much he played it to close out the biggest chapter of his life after performing his biggest songs
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i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.
i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation
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jane does her best to avoid mirrors at any cost as she finds her reflection somewhat distorted in them. she sees who she is, knows it’s her, but her face always looks a tad askew; like her eyes are too far apart, or her lips are a little smaller than she thought they were. overtime, this becomes so prevalent that if she looks into one for too long, her perception and surroundings instead hold a similarity to the upside down. in the bathroom, the shower behind her drapes with tangled vines; the sink is running, but it releases the same black liquid that she was coughing up after closing the gate. her own body and face will transform into that twelve year old girl with a shaved head and a tattered hospital gown.
it gets to the point that she begins combing her hair elsewhere, and brushing her teeth with her eyes closed so she doesn’t need to look in the mirror, or using the kitchen sink. she does open up about these experiences with her therapist in 1986, and is given techniques to help distinguish between what is real and what isn’t. these mental tools do help, but sometimes, even if it’s just a flash, blink and you’ll miss it, the glass will show her what’s not really there. ultimately, it’s why there’s no mirror in her bedroom both in hopper’s cabin and the ives’ house. even when she’s nearing adulthood, becky stands in the bathroom with her when jane has no choice but to use it, and assures her niece that anything she may be seeing is not real.
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