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#all of these men are absolute garbage.
claymorexpunisher · 8 months
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✨May I find a grown ass man who knows what he wants and who will treat me far better than how the little bitches in my family treat the women in their lives.✨
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lovecanbesostrange · 22 days
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I see some people come out of the woodwork again and talking about how super terrible the Fox X-Men movies are. Especially - the absolute valid and most annoying point - how the women were nerfed and underutilized. Biggest criticism, forever a big stain. But I'd argue that X-Men '97 still fell into that same trap. Better? Yes. Holding back still? Also yes.
Most of all this hit Storm. Once again. In part this is thanks to where we are with streaming. Tight seasons, few episodes, not much room to breathe. All that while the team pulled nuggets from so many storylines that have spanned decades. There is very limited time and the biggest casualty is the loss of emotional character beats.
Depowered Storm is a well-known moment from the comics. But the reason why it is looked back on fontly is because Storm still had things to do and say and found herself in new ways, including as leader of the X-Men regardless. Readers followed her for quite some time in that state and could wrap their heads around the situation. The beginning and ending of that journey are wonderfully adapated with Lifedeath, but there is no middle. And apart from those focused episodes Storm does... very little.
They do give her a due badass moment early, even mention her status as an Omega Level mutant (won't explain the concept, easiest yet not totally accurate way is to say the best they can be with the power they have and it's off the charts). There is a case of tell, not much showing going on overall though. And in the finale when Cyclops decides it's time to stop fighting he looks at Storm, she gets it, but you have to be a superfan to find the little nuance, to see how this is very much in-character and it does make sense. Storm has a few very wise lines, something she is known for, a few pew-pew-lightning moments, but sidelined. So hard. Not even allowed to talk about what she feels seeing the footage from Genosha.
For non-comic readers a fun fact: in the recent run of X-Men, the Krakoa era, mutants terraformed Mars. Omega level mutants. Of course Storm was there. Prominently. That was a huge thing. The Krakoa era is ending right now and a new relaunch under the banner From the Ashes is coming. And just this week Marvel put out a teaser that "Earth's Mightiest Mutant" would join the Avengers roster. They had buzz for a day with lots of guesses (the word mighty can be interpreted in a few ways) and guess what, it's Storm. (Although I think going from being the Voice of the sol system in intergalactic matters to Avenger is a downgrade.) Meanwhile '97 Storm barely fought in the big climactic battle. Huh.
A tv show has more time than one single movie. That's the whole reason why watching shows is awesome. A narrative that builds over time and can follow some sidepaths. But not anymore. X-Men '97 would never give us a fun little Christmas special, there is no room. And that's sad.
I enjoy the way they went with Madelyne Pryor. But it all happened in one episode and then Jean was a bit angry at Scott, who for once didn't do anything wrong in this bizarre situation imho. They ignored one of the worst moments from his comic history (thank you so much), gave Madelyne a happy ending (for five seconds), but also left no breathing room. The best they did however was the way Jean struggled with the emotions. She remembers things she wasn't physically there for and her love for Nathan is still just as real. What a blessing. So it makes sense that when she fights Nathan she holds back.
Telling stories that involve Jean Grey can be very tricky. With every super powerful being the threat can't just be punchable. So I get that the Cosmic Birb sighting was limited to one appearance. But what happens? Oh, right, Jean faints. I would be here for a few scenes where Jean explains how this vast power is still overwhelming. That there is a fear of tearing earth itself apart. But what we get is Jean powering up, exhausting herself, powering down and then not being strong enough (even next to Storm) to keep Asteroid M from falling. No, no, we needed Magneto's power or else... which, I enjoy the group effort, but I would have at least appreciated a little "we almost got it, if only we had this tiny bit more" and not making it seem like Magneto is the one and only. They pushed the asteroid in place for him to pull, okay? Please. They should have shown how he could not have done that alone.
The show does have a bias super in favor of Magneto. Without even discussing that his plan is stupid. It comes from an emotional torment I understand. I understand him. I understand Rogue and Sunspot joining him. It's still dumb as hell. And within the three part finale there is no room for any debate and a lot of flip-flopping. Which, again, as a comic reader I can put under a microscope and tell you how this makes sense with a nice good-will reading. It does. But it's buried under the high octane beats. (There wasn't even room to take in what happened to Logan. Honestly I like Logan as a character, but the joke of him being everywhere is not even a joke and there is a certain fatigue and the way Logan was not the focus of '97 makes me appreciate the show even more. I like him! It's somewhat hilarious how the Adamantium pull was the cliffhanger shockfest and then... kinda nothing... of course I know S2 has a lot to pull from with that.)
Speaking of the ladies, the way bias is showing and how two things can be true at once and interpretations can vary - let me ramble on about Rogue in all of this.
On the surface oh I can't complain. My blorbo had things to do. Things to punch, lines to cross, angst to go through - I was fed. I will rewatch so many moments for years to come. But if you want to be cynical about this, Rogue's arc revolved around a man. No, two men. They shoved a decade long on-again, off-again romance from the comics into the show that already has five seasons and never remotely hinted at this. They started with a quiet Magneto and Rogue moment so we can see jealous Gambit. And when she makes a choice after a dance and kiss, Gambit dies. The one she wants. But also Magneto seemingly for a bit. And Rogue rampages.
Equality win: Man successfully put in the fridge so the woman gets to soar. Rejoice! (This is the perfect Rogue/Gambit dynamic though; you are depicting the couple wrong if he iesn't the one with a lovestricken face enjoying to be held in her strong arms. He pines, she gets the manpain moments.)
You could absolutely argue that Rogue's whole motivation is tied to dudes. But if you want to get over this you can look closer at what she says. She remembers Remy. She does this for him. But also every other dead mutant from Genosha. We did not get to see what this would have looked like, but when she chooses Magneto, she also chooses Genosha. She chooses a place at the table, the whole "Queen" deal. And when she joins him again in the finale, she talks about "no more dead mutants" (oh sugar, he's about to destroy the world with everybody). There is just so little time it gets lost. No time for nuance and showing the amount of survivor's guilt she feels. Unlike Storm and Jean though, she is allowed to let loose. She was ready to kill. And disregarding what came next, she dropped Trask from that rooftop.
The show is extremely in favor of Magneto and Rogue, and still doesn't have enough time left to give them the right build-up, because ten episodes isn't enough. Love that Morph got to confess their feelings for Wolverine, yet I'm sure a lot of the audience is baffled with his shapeshifting-power-duplicating powerset. Something that was really nice was the journey Jubilee and Sunspot took together. The way he went from hiding his powers, coming out, being betrayed by his family, giving in to rage for a moment, ultimately wanting to and saving people - true heart of the story.
Okay, this is long and like the show has a dozen different points without following through on one single issue. Ha! I enjoyed every second of it. I have bought monthly X-Men comics for over 30 years now, they are always with me, but these past few weeks have reignited the spark. 10/10 show, highly recommend. But can people please not pretend as if they did everything right? Also with so many stupid, stupid, highly stupid things that have happened within the pages of X-Men stories... just chill.
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self-shipping-hell · 1 year
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I fucking love the self ship community because it's like, "Oh! Promo post! Let's see if they have any f/os I recogni-... [Cue worst/most confusing character ever] Ah! Good for them! Good for them. 🤗"
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sketchmatters · 3 months
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man i hate twitter. if i didnt need a social media presence for art, i would delete it immediately. g@m3rz are pissing me off
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cloudcountry · 5 months
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there is no way the ikevamp guys are being such assholes in jean's route i must be dreaming
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koalammas · 1 year
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Yesterday I was cleaning the floors in a hurry, and an older man stopped me to tell me I was ~ going too fast ~ (I wasn't, and also I was in a hurry bc it was me, manager and new kids who don't rly know anything yet). Then the same guy proceeds to point out that there's some litter under some of the shelves (like someone's old receipt etc), kicks them in front of me so I have to bend down to pick them up, and proceeds to look at my ass. And tells me there's more and I should clean that up too.
Now, I am not a violent person but I did want to run him over. Did tell him he was being very inappropriate and if he wants to clean he can do the rest himself then.
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spite-and-waffles · 2 years
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Anyone reblogging that out of context trash about Tim Drake please unfollow me, anyone who reblogs the follow-up garbage please block me so I don't have to, and, as someone who has actually been diagnosed with BPD, anyone who reblogs that armchair diagnosis about Tim Drake having BPD is welcome to fall into a sewer and drown.
Also the blog OP links to says "this is Lysical's fault". I love Lysical's fics, but it's always clear that she hates Tim, bases most of her fics in the period Tim was dead, and she has no trouble picking out only the best in Dick Grayson and giving him and Jason the sibling relationship that he and Tim had in canon. At least don't pretend you're an unbiased party or that you came into the fandom before the reboot annihilated everything we loved about the Batfam.
Also stop pitting Steph and Tim against each other! There was no abuse! Only two messed up kids who loved each other best they could, even though it wasn't enough.
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sid3buns · 7 months
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Well it took a full season but now i think jujutsu kaisen is on the way to be my next hyperfixation
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fingertipsmp3 · 8 months
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I should really send a thank you card to this man whose CV template I am stealing
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Dating Veritas Ratio hc's
Out of all the hsr men, I'd imagine he'd be the most irritated figuring out he has a crush
A crush? A stupid little manifestation of his irrational emotions???
He'll stew over it a while, picking it apart like the most complex of equations, his stoic expression not wavering
So what if he's around you often? So what if he unconsciously seeks you out, it doesn't mean anything...
He'll hammer that narrative over and over until it becomes truth, or as close to truth as his mind will allow
You'll act like a married couple, though
He'll scold you without any real irritation, eyes narrowing as he pulls you closer to just fix the problem himself
A leaf in your hair? Your sleeve unrolled? Coffee stain on your shirt?
Honestly, how could you be such a careless mess...
Wait, no. No don't go, you're his careless mess—
It'll become a new normal to just have him occasionally once over your appearance, looking for things he can fix and doing so without a word
He also takes it upon himself to make you a healthier and more rounded person
No you're not eating garbage calories for the third meal in a row, yes you are drinking a full glass of water as he reads you excerpts from his book on how quantum chemistry applies to theoretical engineering under Nous's 63rd law of imaginary quantum information science, and there will be a quiz after so pay attention
If asked about why he's often seen by your side, he'll usually answer with a glare and an insult, commenting on the lack of even borderline decent conversationalists around
You're probably not really going to get an actual confession out of him, because that would force him to admit defeat to those annoyingly persistent feelings that just won't leave him be
If you take the initiative of backing him into a corner, you get to watch him flounder a bit, an expression of agitation and a growing warmth throughout his whole body as he skirts the topic with overly complex excuses
He's a big fan of doing different things in the same space, talking isn't necessary
Occasionally, when he remembers you're still there, he'll glance up from his book to see how you're faring, before getting back into it
He has a bit of a staring problem, in a way
It's just that he's so up in his head often, usually easily loosing sight of his surroundings, and you just happen to be the most pleasing thing to keep his eyes on
He'll look away when he notices you staring back, but it's not long before you feel his eyes trained on you again, as if studying every little movement as he works out equations in his head
Of course he does need alone time, usually spent reading in the bath
But that period seems to be getting shorter and shorter as his focus is constantly broken by unconditionally looking around to find you while deep in thought
He will absolutely use you as a blank canvas to throw ideas and thoughts on if he can't work through something in his head
By explaining it to you in mind numbing detail, he'll usually run headfirst into the solution, and it's a treat to watch his eyes widen ever so slightly as he pauses, immediately thanking you curtly before moving straight to writing
Your sense of curiosity is his favorite trait, the one he wants to nurture and encourage you to feed
He's not expecting you to be as smart as him, that would be an impossible expectation, but he will not allow you to give in to ignorance, to get in the habit of complacency, as it is the enemy of growth
He's an intimidating figure to most, both from his status and sharp tongue, so it's not uncommon for low-level scientists with something to prove to seek you out
Sometimes to get information on him, sometimes to test your intelligence, as if trying to prove themselves better than the company the great Dr. Ratio chooses to keep
He's quick to nip that in the bud, though
His crossed arm stoic faced glare would scare away anyone who isn't keen on being picked apart verbally
He'll claim it's all to avoid tainting you with their idiocracy, and that you really shouldn't keep such company
Tries to use selfish logical excuses constantly to get things he wants from you
"I've already chosen your hotel room for this trip, it'll be next to mine so I don't have to travel as far to compare notes in the morning."
"Honestly. You're coming with me to dinner so I won't waste my time working around your schedule later."
"No. You are absolutely not going to get a closer look at those monsters because I'm not cleaning up the mess you'll no doubt get yourself into by being so reckless."
"You're really going to waste your valuable time entertaining those IPC buffoons? They have more credits than brain cells. Stay here, lest their ignorance rub off on you."
He means well, under the insults and unapproachable demeanor
And, at a certain point, he really can't imagine the rest of his life without you close by
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absolutely insane how much of women's clothing is just a fake pretend costume version of mens clothing. the entire concept of fake pockets, as opposed to single-stitch-sealed ones that serve the same purpose if you really wanted it to lay flat at all costs while still allowing anyone to snip it and actually use them, is a great example. women's jeans are the worst offenders in general, they're made of paper, they're tight as a coat of paint, and they offer no real measurements, just abstract, arbitrary "sizes" that change by brand, year, and cut. it's infuriating. it would be EASY to make them the same quality. but they refuse, because they know the standard for women's clothing has fallen so low, and that so many women are absolutely horrified by the idea of shopping in the "wrong" department, that manufacturers can get away with selling literal garbage for highway robbery prices, while 15 feet away selling normal clothes, at normal prices, to men
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cc1010fox · 7 months
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Rex: That number is your kill count? Fox: Roughly. Cody: I wasn't...expecting that to be honest... Wolffe: He's lying. Look, he wrote a number above it first, then crossed it out. That's the truth. Fox: No, that's the literal kill count. Cody: ... Rex: ... Wolffe: ... Fox: They were alive before we crossed paths. Rex: Oh...Most of our kills are-- Cody: Droids... Wolffe: I don't--How!? Fox: ...Why do you think I have so many awards? Wolffe: You...work hard? Fox: Doing what? Wolffe: Whatever the chancellor tells you to do. Fox: ... Cody: You protect the Senate. Fox: Coruscant. Rex: What? Fox: My duties extend beyond the Senate. I protect Coruscant. Wolffe: Ok, you protect Coruscant. Fox: ...From? Wolffe: Seppies? Fox: That's...part of it. Rex: ... Cody: ... Fox, popping his tongue against the roof of his mouth: Let me lay it out for you three. Fox: While you're out there sniping heads off of comedic relief training dummies, I have to deal with living, breathing, thinking beings. The living and breathing should make them easier to take down, but the thinking makes them unpredictable. I have to account for their individual beliefs, their morals...their sense of honor...all of which throw logic out of the window. It's not easy to land a droid army on Coruscant, so I don't get the pleasure of predictability too often. Rex: ... Fox: Instead, I have to deal with the citizens of this planet, too many of which don't want us here. They shout at us, abuse us, and have even started a market for us. You know...the skin and organ market. Yes and no. Yes, they have actually harvested our skin. No, I don't mean literal skin when I say skin market. Think collars and chains. How many times have you stood between a threat and the people you're duty bound to protect knowing at least one of those people have spat on your men, attacked them, used them like toys, or captured and sold them? My only comfort is knowing I can turn on them the second they're labeled a traitor to the Republic. And I can pick the worst of them off when there are no witnesses. Cody: ...That's-- Fox: On top of that, I have encountered creatures of nightmares because they just dwell in the bowels of this rotting planet or some pieces of garbage brought them here to sell. If you thought I was protected against watching my men get eaten by a wampa, you are sorely mistaken. Although it was the nexu that kept me up at night. For weeks. Who buys those things? Seriously...At least I put some of them down, but who knows how many they sold? Wolffe: ... Fox: The worst creatures are the ones I can't add to my kill count, though. The absolute worst is Chancellor Palpatine. He doesn't know what my job is and assigns me to literally every job in the Coruscant Guard. I have to do it personally. I'm the boss of the people who are supposed to do those jobs. He is the sole reason I will only sleep when I am dead. Fox: The second worst is 99% of the senators. Entitled, egotistical pricks. I would rather be distributed to desperate families looking for organs than catch the eye of any senator. Thire has to remember which ones show a little too much interest in the clones because we are at their mercy. He can't allow a shiny anywhere near them. If a Coruscanti attacks a clone, it's considered damaging government property, making them a criminal. If a senator attacks a clone, it's considered You better do what is best for the Republic and shut your kriffing mouth. Because treating a clone like a complimentary gift isn't betraying the Republic. Risking one of the Republic's delicate alliances is. Cody: Force, Fox... Fox: I deal with all of that while maintaining an impressive record of mission successes. That is why I have so many awards. Wolffe: ...You have awards, but do you want a hug? Fox: Desperately. All day. Every day.
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Hey girly!! Im too shy to ask this without the anonymous filter but first of all I’ve been reading through your blog and I love it honestly. I was wondering if you are open to requests if you’d be able to write up something about joe rantz (I am absolutely LIVING for blonde callum) and maybe a coaches daughter trope? he saw her when he went to sign himself up, at the practices all that jazz and just them like becoming friends then more than friends, the boat scene where he gets his seat taken away from him maybe? thank you so much and again I love your work! xx
Hello, my lovely anon. Glad to see you in my inbox. I apologize for the wait but I've been coming out of an awful slump and I was trying to make this piece not total garbage. I hope you enjoy it and I hope I see you in my inbox again.
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
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Joe Rantz (Callum Turner’s) x reader
wc: 4,600
Joe finds himself utterly gobsmacked when he discovers that the pretty face he’s seen at the shell house is the coach’s daughter and not his wife.
Enjoy this garbage!
Joe Rantz had come to the shell house in search of work. He’d hoped that making the team would cover his tuition and get him a room and he needed it so desperately. Roger Morris stood next to him, chewing nervously at his nails. “Sorry, Joe, didn’t realize competition would be so tight.” He mutters, spitting out a shred of his fingernail. Coach Ulbrickson was going over the basics of practice. It sounded like absolute hell to Joe but he was out of options. He fidgeted with the number painted on his jersey. Sure, he was strong from a lifetime of rough labor but so were the other boys. Most of them were broke too and just as desperate. Joe didn’t know if he had what it took to stand out but he’d be damned if he couldn’t make a life for himself because he couldn’t muscle up some money for college. 
As Ulbrickson speaks, a shadow appears in his office window. It’s too far for Joe’s nervous gaze to actually study the figure. He tries to focus on coach but the shadow continues to draw his attention. Roger notices too. “Who the hell is that?” Joe just shrugs. The shadow never leaves the window even as Ulbrickson finishes up and the boys get split up. Joe can’t dwell on the figure any longer because he’s being herded into the middle of shellhouse. He begins a horrible set of workouts. His body is made for hard work but he’s never actually worked out before. His muscles aren’t used to straining this way. 
It’s not long before his breathing becomes labored and sweat is pouring down his back. His curls hang down his forehead, sticking to his skin uncomfortably. And just when the pain is becoming unbearable the coaches are swapping them out and Joe is put on a junky old boat and an oar is pushed into his hands. They start rowing and instantly, the only thing on Joe’s mind is how bad his back hurts. Pained grunts and groans echo across the water as the boys struggle to keep pulling the oars. 
Eventually, it’s all over. Joe stumbles onto the dock in front of the shellhouse and feels his knees shaking with excursion. Men begin to drain away from the shellhouse and as the numbers dwindle, the shadow in the window of Ulbrickson’s office reappears. It moves through the glass panes like a swan through water. Then the office door opens and Joe sees your face for the first time. 
“That was some tough practice, huh?” Roger bumps Joe’s shoulder, a crooked smile on his face. Joe cannot respond and Roger follows his gaze. “Washington, Washington, what finery you enjoy.” 
You descend the steps and take a place between Ulbrickson and Bolles. Ulbrickson puts and arm around and Joe feels his heart wither a little. You’re probably Mrs. Ulbrickson. Though he can’t shake the impression that you look a little too young to be with Ulbrickson. 
“Alas,” Roger throws up his hands, “Finery we cannot also enjoy.”
“Don’t be crass.”
“I’m not! How was that crass?” Roger purses his lips and nudges Joe. 
Joe just buttons up his jacket and picks up his books, “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”
The very next day, Joe is suffering through practice. He aches all over and his muscles scream at him. He’s already shaking when he gets done with the basic strength building exercises. Most of the boys are. There are fewer numbers today but this does not better Joe’s odds by much. They clamber into Old Nero and start rowing away. His wrists twinge and his knees spasm. He rows and rows until he thinks his body will give out and then Ulbrickson is directing them back to the shellhouse. Jow crawls out of the boat, soaked to the bone and stiff as a board.
Then he sees you again, this time your sorting registry papers with Pocock. Your back is turned to him, so you don’t notice his longing stare. He keeps telling himself that you’re a married lady and that he should be focused on making the team, but nothing seems to chase you from his mind. 
Coach Ulbrickson sweeps across the dock and places a hand on top of your head, an odd gesture between husband and wife but Joe wouldn’t know about those things. Since his group was the last to use Old Nero, they get the privilege of stowing the oars. Joe begins unlatching the mechanism when he shifts on his knees.
It happens so fast he can’t clock what’s happening. First there’s the sensation of slipping, the horrible thrust of his legs flying out from beneath him. He twists mid slip, and his side smacks the dock painfully before he’s swept off the dock by his own weight. He plumets into the cold water with a catastrophic splash and agonized shriek.
When Joe resurfaces a dozen hands are reaching for him. He grasps onto George Hunt’s forearm and allows Shorty to hoist him onto the sodden wood planks. A fluffy white towel is draped around his shoulders; firm hands rub his chilled biceps. “Are you alright?” You face appears before him.
Joe is almost too stunned to speak, “I—yeah, yeah I’m okay.” 
You tuck the ends of the towel into his hands, “Better get showered up and dressed.” Joe just nods and stumbles past you and into the locker room. Roger follows closely behind, teasing Joe relentlessly.
“You’re fallin’ harder than I thought.”
“Roger!” Joe grinds his teeth, huffing and puffing. “You need better jokes.”
Joe spends that night struggling to focus on his schoolwork. He has math homework that needs doing. He has books to read. The one in his hands now periodically goes in and out of focus as Joe’s mind wanders. On the page is the story of a western novel, a man had found a girl walking alone the road at dusk, all on her own. He didn’t want to leave her to the coyotes, so he offered her a ride into the nearest town. They were riding horseback across the prairie. Her arms wound tightly around him; her hands splayed over his chest. 
Her hands—
Her hands—
What is wrong with you, Joe?
Joe reads this line over and over again. Each time he nears the end his brain short circuits and all he can think about are your hands on your shoulders. You hadn’t even really touched him, at least not his skin.  Yet the only thing shooting through his neurons are the sensations of your fingers along his skin. That imaginary touch he can conjure up so perfectly. He eventually gives in and skips down a few paragraphs. He reads late into the night and the phantom touches are still nagging his senses when he closes the book and rolls over to sleep. 
Day after day, Joe sees you at practice. You congratulate him when he makes the team and help him with his technique every once and a while. “Roll your wrists just a bit more.” Your fingers would poke at his forearms and direct him in graceful strokes. It fries his brain. You give pointers to the rest of the team too, working closely with Bolles and Pocock to get them in racing shape. It’s not long into the season when Ulbrickson decides to switch coxswains. 
“This is Bobby Moch. Your new jockey.” Bolles announces one day. Bobby is short and slender and sharp tongued.  The second he climbs in the boat and starts barking out commands, Joe is flabbergasted. Who is Bobby to talk to the team this way? But they all find themselves obeying his every word. What really irks Joe about Bobby is how friendly he is with you. You exchange jokes and poke fun at each other. Joe tells himself that he just thinks it’s inappropriate to flirt with the coach’s wife but beneath it all he’s incredibly jealous that Bobby can make you laugh so easily. It makes Joe pine for attention in a way that he never has before. 
The day of their race against California, Joe is all jitters and nerves. He bounces on the balls of his feet and shakes his hands, trying to loosen the anxiety. Streamers and garlands of flags decorate the locker room and the campus. People have gathered in clusters along the course and wave flags of purple and gold. The smell of popcorn and peanuts permeates the air and Joe promises to indulge himself if they win.
As the crew carried their shell down to the water, they begin chanting to themselves. “Bow down to Washington!” They neglect the varsity’s jeers and clip their oars into position. They spot Coach Ulbrickson in the stands, you at his side. And then there’s another woman. And Ulbrickson hugs her. And then he kisses her.
Right in front of you! What is going on?
“Rantz! Eyes on me!” Bobby hollers. But Joe can’t help stealing another confused glance. “I said quite drooling over coach’s daughter and LOOK AT ME!”
Joe feels like an idiot. He puts his head down in shame and tightens his grip on the oar. Ulbrickson joins them on the dock and gives one of his famously encouraging speeches. Joe is only half paying attention. They push off and are left with lovely Bobby hyping them up while they wait for the race to start. They lean forward, like a bow drawn for a shot. And then the white flag flies and the boats shoot away from the docks.
There’s nothing but blur as Joe rows. He can only focus on the muscled shoulders of Don Hume in the stroke seat as Bobby screams at them. “28!”
About halfway through the course, Bobby demands the stroke rate be upped and Don performs. The shell lurches forward, eating up the distance between Washington and Cal until the JV boat surpasses the Berkeley blokes. Then the boat is cutting across the finish line, a clean win. Adrenaline rushes Joe’s veins. He throws his fists in the air as the team splashes and roars. They’re inevitably drowned out by the crowd who bursts up in a shower of peanuts and Washington flags. 
Coach Ulbrickson, the new woman Joe assumes his Ulbrickson’s wife, and you rush the dock as the boys climb out of the boat. “Excellent job.” Mrs. Ulbrickson shakes their hands as they unclip their oars. Bolles is compassionate enough to give them each a pat on the back as they hoist the boat over their heads and haul it off. 
Joe can’t help but notice the copious amounts of onlookers pooling around the shell as they carry it back to the shellhouse. They set it down on the stands and before they can even take their hands off the shell, they are bombarded by Washington fans. Girls reaching out to stroke their biceps or kiss their cheeks. Joe has never received attention like this once in his life. He’s as polite as possible, brushing off a few girls here and there and shaking the hand of the occasional fellow. Shorty has accumulated a few lipstick stains on his cheek. Don Hume is blushing from the tips of his ears down to the point of his freckled nose. Chuck and Roger accept a few hugs. They bask in the winners’ glory for only a few moments until the varsity team strolls by. They make a comment to Moch that Joe doesn’t catch but judging by the way Bobby’s shoulders square he can make obvious conclusions.
“You rowed so well today, Joe.” He hears your voice, and his palms start to sweat.
“Thanks, I uh—” It occurs to him that he doesn’t actually know a thing about you. “Sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten your name.” You smile at him, and syllables fall out but the crowd is too loud. “What?” Your grasp his shoulder and lean in, the sound of your name echoes off the shell of his ear. 
When you pull away, you’re still smiling but before Joe can ask you another question, Bobby is buzzing by with a play-by-play of exactly what happened in Bobby’s world. 
You shade your eyes and peer down at the docks, “Looks like dad is almost done with the varsity. I should get down there.” You say, and Bobby turns around to talk to Shorty. “Hey. Will I see you at the party tonight?” Your hand rests on Joe’s shoulder. He prays you can’t feel his heart skip a beat. 
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there.”
“Good. You had better save a dance for me, Joe Rantz.”
You leave him breathless, the butterflies in his stomach so vicious that he shudders. He watches you disappear down the pathway to the dock and his heart starts hammering with anticipation. You want to dance with him. You want to touch his hands, touch him. And then he remembers that you already did that, he was too focused on the motion of your lips that he’d hardly registered the sensation of your hands on his arm. Damn! What had it felt like? He’d remembered it’d made him flabbergasted and choked his speech but he couldn’t remember how the grooves in your palm felt as they brushed over his skin. The warmth of your fingertips. He curses himself out and vanishes into the locker room to get changed.
The dance rolls around rather too quickly and Joe is swimming in nerves. He has to tie his tie twice because he messes up so badly, he can’t even draw it tight to his neck. Roger found out all too quickly and hasn’t let Joe catch a break.
“A date with coach’s daughter. Careful Joe, Ulbrickson might throw you off the team if he catches the wrong look in your eye.” 
“Shut up, Roger, I’m not greasy like you”
“Ouch, that hurts me.”
“Clearly not enough.” Joe hisses as he finally gets his tie right. 
“Feels like I’m a father about to send his kid off to prom.” 
Joe sighs and throws on his suit coat. “Oh, please—”
“Look at you fly, shooting out of your league.” 
Roger works a smile onto Joe’s face, and they set off for the party. Spring is finally warming the campus up from a brutal winter and a few couples mull around outside. Joe and Roger find their way into the crowded gymnasium, both shocked by just how loud it is. Joe can’t even hear his own thoughts. They spot the team almost immediately, clustered around tables, drinks in their hands. A few of the boys are dancing with some lovely dames, a few are leaned against the wall having close conversations. Don is sitting by himself on a bench a few feet away from the refreshment table, watching the dance floor. Joe is turning to follow Roger towards the other boys but an arm loops through his, “Thought you weren’t going to show.” You practically shout. 
Joe can’t help but grin as you capture his attention. “You weren’t joking.”
“Not a bit, Rantz, didn’t have any other dancing plans except for this one.”
“Guess I should make it worth your wait then.” Joe leads you into the thicket of bodies.
He prides himself on the laugh you let out, “please do,” you say as he takes your hands and spins to face you.  He places his hand high on your waist and cradles the other gently in his palm. He can feel the smooth plains of you hand against his. Each crease and each callous. His are no doubt unbelievably rough from the rowing and he would feel bad but right now all he can feel are your fingers lacing through his. “You’re not half bad.” You tease. Joe knows his cheeks are heating up to a flaming red. Probably his ears too. 
His hand migrates to the small of your back as the music changes into a soft slow song. “I’ll be completely honest,” he starts, “I had no idea you were the coach’s daughter.”
“Then who else would I be?” 
“I thought you were his wife.” He looks away sheepishly, but your laughter is so unrestrained and whole that Joe’s heart melts. You can’t stop laughing either and it’s contagious. 
“You’re an engineering student, right?” Your shoes brush as you sway with him. 
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Joyce.” Joe’s heart drops. In his infatuation he’d forgotten all about her. “She was trying to hit on you, but she figured out that your attention was elsewhere.”
“You too are good friends then?”
“Just since the start of the year. We have an English class together.” You and Joe talk for a while, it forces you to be close and neither of you care to separate. Eventually, you move outside and sit with sit with Joe on the steps of the gym. It’s still chilly out and you sit close to Joe which he doesn’t mind one bit. At some point your head rests on his shoulder and you close your eyes. Joe can do nothing but stare down at you, his mouth agape. 
“Why is your heart beating so fast?” You trace his knuckles with your pointer finger.
Joe’s head pounds, his mouth dry, “This has never happened to me before.”
“None of the girls from high school? Never?”
“Not one.”
You look up at Joe and reach to smooth back a blond curl. “Shame, they were missing out.” This makes Joe smile again and he’s immensely pleased with how easily you do that to him. Make him happy. He hasn’t felt like this since… he can’t remember when. Sure, he was happy when the team won but that was different. That was pride. So was making the team. This feels more affectionate, closer to the heart. He wonders if this is what love feels like but that would be silly; he’s only known your name for a day. He’s also never been flattered quite like this. Besides Joyce, he can’t think of anyone else who’s actually been interested in him. Certainly not one who compliments him the way you do. 
People start to drain out of the gym very slowly and Joe checks his watch. “So late already?”
“Guess I should get home; my dad will be wrought with worry.” You joke and straighten out your skirt. 
“Can I walk you home?”
“I would love that.”
Joe offers you his hand, “Where does coach live?” 
“Not too far.” You accept his calloused hand and direct him off campus. Surprisingly, Joe has read the book you’re reading for English and time flies as you discuss the book. Then Joe makes a sobering comment that makes you stop and study him. 
“His parents remind me of my own.”
Joe realizes what he’s let slip, “Don’t worry about it too much. I’m okay.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
Joe presses his lips into a line and stares down at his worn shoes. A wave of self-consciousness washes over him as he realizes how ragged of a life he has lived and just how much it shows. “Well—”
“Is this why you have a hard time trusting your team?”
“Hey now,”
“Sorry.” You take his hands.
He grimaces and squeezes your soft palms. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yes.” 
Joe sighs and swipes a thumb across your knuckles. “My Pops just… left me one day. Told me I’d be fine on my own.” Joe gives you parts of the story. Mostly what he feels like stomaching at the moment.
When he’s finished you let go of his hands and cup his cheeks. He sinks into the touch, soaking it up like a flower budding in sunlight. You don’t say anything, you just look at him. You look at him like he’s the only thing that’s ever mattered and his heart trembles because he has never once known what it’s like to be that for someone else. And then you stand on tip toes and plant a hearty kiss on his forehead. “This is it actually,” you gesture behind you at the hosue that must be the Ulbricksons’. “I’ll see you tomorrow at practice?”
“Yeah.” The spot on his forehead that you kissed tingles. “Nowhere else I’d want to be.”
The Poughkeepsie Regatta rolls around all too quickly and Ulbrickson has to make a decision. The varsity boat who deserves it. Or the JV boat who could win it. His hands sweat as he stands on at that pulpit and reads off his preplanned speech. As he talks, he thinks about the future of the rowing program. The jobs it has provided him and Bolles. About how Pocock would have to find work elsewhere and it’d kill Al Ulbrickson to send him away. 
He leans into the mic and spits, “and that boat is our JV boat.” It has to be them. They have to win. Moans and groans blow his way as the crowd rejects his announcement. Regret washes over him but he cannot take this back. He has to be right about his crew. He tips his hat and hustles off the podium as the JV bursts into celebration. He has to be right.
Joe is more than pleased to see you on the train to Poughkeepsie. He slides into the car with you, and you chat away. You were fast friends the night of the dance and have since become closer. The kiss on the forehead still lingers sometimes, especially when Joe sees your lips form your smile. You entice him into some card games and eventually a game of chess. At some point, he decides that he needs to sleep and bids you goodnight so that he can find a train car to sleep in. But before he does, he sneaks a chaste kiss onto your knuckles. 
His good mood is stamped out the very next day when the team takes to the water. They don’t row good, and frustration starts to build. Bobby and the coaches try and get them working together, telling them that it’s just nerves and new water. But tensions rise regardless. The days start to dwindle, and the crew is getting worse and worse. 
Blame starts to turn to him, and Joe is at a loss. He doesn’t want to believe that he’s holding the team back, but he thinks back to what you said that night he walked you home. But the most awful feeling creeps over him, not an ounce of care. What’s wrong with him. This crew has been the only family he’s had in years. He needs them. But he can’t bring himself to admit it. 
Before he knows it, it slips and Ulbrickson is exiling him from the boat. As the crew watches Joe storm away, their spare crawls in and they set off for another row. Bolles taps you on the shoulder, “you had better see if you can do anything. Enlist Pocock if you have to.” Your father nods along.
You set out to find him, not that it was hard there’s not many places he can go alone. He’s stuffing his suitcase when you find him. “Don’t start.” He snaps. Then he sees your expression and his anger sours. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t—”
“Don’t give up on your team, Joe.”
“I’m not.”
“You are, you’re quitting and throwing everything you’ve worked for away.”
“Don’t, don’t even start to pretend you know me.” He realizes too late that he’s made everything so much worse and before he can fix a thing Pocock is at the door.
“I could use some help putting another coat of oil on the shell.”
You duck past Pocock and leave Joe with a painful pit of remorse in his stomach. He follows Pocock and takes the talking to straight to the heart. As he lathers on a thick coat of oil, he figures he can bargain with Ulbrickson in the morning, but he should make a proper apology to you now. He racks his brain for anything that would make it right, but he’s horrifically inexperienced and it’s crippling him now. He feels like a child having a tantrum. He feels miniscule and insignificant.
After Joe dunks his brush into the whale oil can for the last time, he figures he’d better just confront the issue head on since he has no way of handling it delicately. He has no grace and he’s sure you’re aware of this. Pocock gives him an encouraging pat and takes the can from him. Joe winds his way back to the hotel and through the halls. Your room is on the second floor, third door down. He knocks gently, eyes lingering on the hideous carpet and tacky sconces. The door swings open after a moment and Joe is met with your disapproving glower. His tongue seems to swell in his mouth so badly that he worries it’ll flop out when he tries to speak. 
“Coffee?” You ask when you realize he will stand there silently forever if you don’t let him in. 
“No… I just wanted to—to apologize.”
“Oh really.” Your eyebrow quirks.
Joe is fumbling for words. You stand aside and motion for him to step inside so you can have this discussion in privacy. “I know that was wrong to take out my frustration on you. That wasn’t fair and none of it is your fault.” He twiddles his thumbs. How does he go about this without absolutely butchering it? “I just—” As he trails off, he notices a hurt dullness in your eyes. He recognizes it as pity. “You and the crew are really all I’ve got, and I’m so scared I’m going to lose it.”
“These boys aren’t going to leave you behind unless you separate yourself from them like today.”
“I know.
“Really?”
“Pocock made sure I know.”
The edges of your lips tilt up. You pull him down onto the foot of the bed and take his hand. “Are you actually going to try and trust them?”
“Don’t have enough faith to put it in anyone else.”
You squeeze his hand and trace a finger along his jawline, sweeping a knuckle under his chin. You force his stubborn gaze to you and find nothing but desperation. Wanting things like this doesn’t come natural to Joe and it shows, but he’s not so different from the other boys in that boat. 
You reach up and fiddle with a curl, “apology accepted.” Tears pool in the corners of his eyes and he tries to choke them down. You place a hand on his chest and rest your forehead on his. His breath fans over your cheeks. The tip of his nose brushes yours. His shoulders sag inwards and he reaches for your waist. 
“Can I—may I kiss you?”
Joe’s sweetness never fails to amaze you. You cradle his face and bring him closer. “Yes, Joe.” His breath hitches and his lips finally meet yours for the very first time. He’s gentle but generous and lets you kiss him for as long as you like. His arms wrap around you fully and hold you to his chest. He gets the feeling that he’ll be craving these moments all the time now, finally understanding what Roger and Chuck rave about. He’s hooked on your lips and your weight against him and when you pull away it breaks his heart. 
“You should get cleaned up before you talk to my father, you smell like whale oil.”
...
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading this. If you'd like to request, feel free to do so. I always love you in my inbox. I hope you enjoyed this fic and if you like it please check out my masterlist for more. Have nice day.
-the author
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gremlingottoosilly · 6 months
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what do when reader is untrusting of Konig because she had been in a relationship that went really wrong (i.e. ex cheated on her)? how does our colonel woo her when she doesn't even want to be in the same room as him the second he says 'i love you'?
Ah! You know, a woman can very quickly become your wife if you have a bug enough basement...it's Konig's mind, anyway. He understands that you don't trust men, you're absolutely right, they are all bastards!! Not him though, of course not, he will take care of you and will try his best to win you over. You're so cold, running away from his confessions and gifts( flowers dropped in the garbage, all of his attempts at setting up a date finishes with her not showing up...he has patience, he has been waiting for you his whole fucking life, but he can't do this in a long run, he wants you too much to consider such silly things as consent and boundaries. You're waking up in his bedroom - not the basement, of course not, it's the last resort because he wants you to feel at home around him!! he drags you the head of your ex like a cat with a dead mouse - watches you whimper and cry as he only tilts his head to the side, wondering what's wrong. He killed the result of your distrust in men, you should be fine now!
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boreal-sea · 10 months
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Firstly: get dunk'd, transphobe.
Secondly, nice source, dipshit:
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I have to do everything, don't I?
Let's talk about this source before we even read this article, because it shows how poor your rhetorical analysis skills are - or how unwilling you are to practice those skills, or perhaps just how willing you are to ally yourself with racist, nationalist, far-right reactionaries if they also happen to be transphobic.
Wings Over Scotland is a far-right, nationalist, reactionary blog run by Scottish "video game journalist" Stuart Campbell. It is not an unbiased news website - it's some dude's personal blog, and he created it because he hated that mainstream news in Scotland wasn't spreading the far-right rhetoric he wished it would.
And this is what you used as a "source". Fucking laughable.
Now let's get into the actual blog post. I refuse to call it a "news article", because it's not. This one was written by a nobody named "Mar Vickers". At the bottom of the article, Stuart claims Mar has "extensive experience in equality law". I can't seem to find any indication Mar is some sort of lawyer or scholar; all I can find is a link to his twitter - sorry, I mean his "X":
https://twitter.com/mar2vickers
You can tell this is the same Mar based on the content of his tweets. He's also transphobic garbage, surprise surprise. He has a backup account on "gettr", because it seems like his twitter gets suspended frequently - which says a lot. Gettr is a clone of twitter that caters to right wingers who get suspended and banned on Twitter for constantly violating its hate speech policies. So. You know. Though these days, X is the safe-haven for far-right reactionaries, so honestly that's a red flag period.
As a summary: Mar doesn't understand surveys or their limits, he doesn't define what a "sex crime" is, he doesn't know what the Rorschach test is, and he's bad at math. He plays with numbers like he's some sort of population statistician, which he's not. He draws conclusions that are completely nonsense, because he's not asking the relevant questions.
Basically, he states that over the past few years, the ratio of trans women in jail for sex crimes to compared to the general population of trans woman is now higher than the ratio of cis men in jail for sex crimes compared to the general population of cis men. Ok, but why did these numbers change? He doesn't ask why. He just assumes these trends are natural and reflect the behavior of cis men and trans women, rather than the increased transphobia in England and Wales that he and his buddy Stuart have been fueling.
I absolutely don't doubt that trans women are incarcerated for "sex crimes" (which he never defines of course) at a higher rate per population than cis men. It's the same reason people of color are incarcerated more per population: bigotry. "Wow, this population of people who society hates sure gets sent to jail a lot. That's probably a reflection of their true nature, and not a reflection on society at large!"
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apoemaday · 7 months
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Helen of Troy Does Countertop Dancing
by Margaret Atwood
The world is full of women who’d tell me I should be ashamed of myself if they had the chance. Quit dancing. Get some self-respect and a day job. Right. And minimum wage, and varicose veins, just standing in one place for eight hours behind a glass counter bundled up to the neck, instead of naked as a meat sandwich. Selling gloves, or something. Instead of what I do sell. You have to have talent to peddle a thing so nebulous and without material form. Exploited, they’d say. Yes, any way you cut it, but I’ve a choice of how, and I’ll take the money. I do give value. Like preachers, I sell vision, like perfume ads, desire or its facsimile. Like jokes or war, it’s all in the timing. I sell men back their worse suspicions: that everything’s for sale, and piecemeal. They gaze at me and see a chain-saw murder just before it happens, when thigh, ass, inkblot, crevice, tit, and nipple are still connected. Such hatred leaps in them, my beery worshipers! That, or a bleary hopeless love. Seeing the rows of heads and upturned eyes, imploring but ready to snap at my ankles, I understand floods and earthquakes, and the urge to step on ants. I keep the beat, and dance for them because they can’t. The music smells like foxes, crisp as heated metal searing the nostrils or humid as August, hazy and languorous as a looted city the day after, when all the rape’s been done already, and the killing, and the survivors wander around looking for garbage to eat, and there’s only a bleak exhaustion. Speaking of which, it’s the smiling tires me out the most. This, and the pretence that I can’t hear them. And I can’t, because I’m after all a foreigner to them. The speech here is all warty gutturals, obvious as a slab of ham, but I come from the province of the gods where meanings are lilting and oblique. I don’t let on to everyone, but lean close, and I’ll whisper: My mother was raped by a holy swan. You believe that? You can take me out to dinner. That’s what we tell all the husbands. There sure are a lot of dangerous birds around. Not that anyone here but you would understand. The rest of them would like to watch me and feel nothing. Reduce me to components as in a clock factory or abattoir. Crush out the mystery. Wall me up alive in my own body. They’d like to see through me, but nothing is more opaque than absolute transparency. Look–my feet don’t hit the marble! Like breath or a balloon, I’m rising, I hover six inches in the air in my blazing swan-egg of light. You think I’m not a goddess? Try me. This is a torch song. Touch me and you’ll burn. 
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