Tumgik
#about why no one ever wants to admit they're a big name fan; as written by someone who has come to terms w/their bnf status
hua-fei-hua · 2 years
Text
*lying in the dirt staring at the starry night sky* i think the secret to maintaining a good name online is to simply not share personal information, block the haters n libelers, and have a social life outside the internet
#and also to not make 'discourse' your personality bc god knows we have enough bitches in fandom milk-fed on internet discourse#in other words i'm having thoughts on big name fan...hood? -ishness? i'm not sure but anyway That and how it's dehumanizing#there's an essay from 2006 i'm rereading (i will clarify that i did not read it in 2006. i did not have access to the internet in 2006)#about why no one ever wants to admit they're a big name fan; as written by someone who has come to terms w/their bnf status#and it's got this kind of tongue-in-cheek vibe to it and the advice it gives; like it was written by someone completely exhausted by it#or who has seen what it does to a person firsthand and needs to vent about it while also making sure people take it seriously#i want to say it's almost like that kind of dire gallows humor where you know no matter what you say you Will have haters on your ass#it sounds vain to say that i was ever a bnf anywhere. but i can't say i never had a name at all anywhere#and watching that buildup towards what seemed like an inevitable fate as a bnf someday in some fandom soon#it's part of the complex cocktail that motivates my anonymity in gnshn#bc i've had my ideas treated as untouchable; my writing treated as The Way to present a premise (both accounts towards orchid)#i'm glad i've never had like. a parasocial experience or anything where in trying to compliment my writing they compliment my person instead#the uncertainty of my person that comes w/anonymity is such a reprieve tho. to draw attn when i deliberately play down anything#that i feel might bring it makes what i receive more earned n more focused on what i want to talk abt (the writing)#there are def some things that can only be understood through time and watching your own history grow n build n connect w/others#until you are suddenly made acutely aware that you do not exist in a vacuum is one of them#and i understand the urge to cut most if not all of it away and start anew bc that *is* terrifying in all honesty#花話
5 notes · View notes
dayurno · 4 months
Note
do you have any thoughts about the way thea was handled? ever since nora has been more active on twt (and mentioned the hate thea gets) people have been sort of insistent about Always Having Liked Her Actually and it irks me a lot, because imo people SHOULD be upset at the fact that kevin (who has been abused all his life and has trauma regarding the nest) has a gf who's from that same environment but 1. doesn't seem all that concerned about getting better / helping kevin get better 2. shouts at him in the only scene they're in together 3. isn't even described as a particularly good presence in the extra content explaining their past 4. this is just a horrible cherry on top but she's 5 years older and they met when he was 14 :/// like if anything i think this has a lot to do with nora not having been kind to kevin (which she also recently admitted to) like damn can he get one thing in life that's just good for him. one safe haven. jesus
short answer: i think thea as a character has been done the worst by nora sakavic, and the lack of care she was shown is in line with how all for the game treats its other characters of color.
long answer: most of my thoughts about how thea was handled are less about thea the character itself and more about her throwaway appearance and the overall lack of interest the author had when writing her. thea's a widely hated character for many reasons, not all of them valid, and a big one is that she was shoved into the narrative at one of the very last few chapters and paired up with one of the most important characters with very little thought or effort. we don't get even a hint of her existance before her appearance, and her one scene does not gather her sympathy because what we know of her is that she's an unrepentant raven (arguably the series' most evident villains) and what we see of her is a moment of great anger, that, even if ignorant, mimics the hostility most of the other ravens had towards kevin/the foxes during the trilogy
this is all to say: i don't like the way thea was written, and i think, especially, that it was a bad optic to write a black woman whose only scene is her being hostile towards her love interest. i need you to know that i'm not saying thea was not right to be angry, or that thea should've flown in and nursed kevin's mental health as soon as she could — both because it's out of character and because it's ridiculous —, but i am saying that she was not afforded almost anything as a character, in both terms of humanity and screentime. this is nothing new with how aftg treats its characters of color, and it is very telling that the characters who get the most flack (namely nicky and thea and riko) are the core of the non-white cast. thea and riko are not afforded complexity; nicky is a constantly flamboyant brown man whose only purpose is to wrangle his cousins and deliver friendship-related one liners to neil. this is why nora sakavic's refusal to comment on them grates on me, and why the new wave of adoration for the series with no nuance suffocates all of the real criticism done by fans of color in the last ten years.
and here's a personal answer: thea's future breaks my heart just as much as kevin's does, because she is also a victim of cultist mentality, and she never breaks out of it. i have no doubts in my heart that the nest was cruel to her, and her unflinching loyalty to the ravens until the end saddens me because it is a terrible existence when all is said and done. thea will not play exy forever, and by the time she has to retire, she will be just as miserable as kevin was. i don't know if she'll ever acknowledge how awful the ravens were either to her or to kevin — i don't know if she'll *want* to, because it is hard to do all that work, and it will leave her deeply scarred to realize most of it was not necessary to her sucess —, but i hope she does, and i hope that on that day, she will be able to decide for herself where to go from there.
22 notes · View notes
ecoamerica · 23 days
Text
youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
6K notes · View notes
Note
Another thing Elia and Sansa have in common is they're both beautiful and yet the fandom both tries to prove otherwise.
With Elia it's funny because why y'all acting threatened/jealous of this poor woman whose been dead for years by 298? (Looking at you Kevan and Cersei) Well we know why
With Sansa it's funny because a lot of times those same ppl have this hope she gets disfigured/scarred (yikes) and like you're literally admitting she is beautiful (for her age) so that's why she gotta to be scarred lolol
Anyway even if Sansa and Elia weren't they'd be beautiful on the inside still. Unfortunately we have to deal with them being both. Sigh.
There is a subset of fans who are simply incredibly misogynistic and it’s wild because they truly believe they are not. I just recently was informed of a post where a person named “ASongForLyanna” who is a big Lyanna Stark fan made a post dedicated to the fact that Elia Martell was actually so bland and meek and not “spicy” (gross) enough and of course Ratgar would have preferred “the she wolf”
The post reeked of misogyny, racism and ableism. The funny thing is these so called true Lyanna Stark fans can’t make a single post showing how awesome of a character Lyanna Stark is without one tearing down Elia Martell or two referencing how much Ratgar wanted Lyanna so “ha she won”. I also found it hilarious that not one true feminist from her little group called her out on it and yet they used to love to sit and preach at Elia fans for being “problematic?”. I’m just glad they finally took their clown masks off and are admitting how much they openly despise Elia’s character.
Their mindset is so full of internalized misogyny that can’t grasp their favs being amazing without another woman being torn down or them acting like women have to be categorized by their traits as if women in general don’t encompass most of them. Lyanna Stark “cant” be the most beautiful woman who ever was if Elia Martell is also beautiful and sometimes even described as more beautiful. So of course they go on ableist and racist rages. It doesn’t matter that canonically both are beautiful and beauty is subjective in their mind one woman has to “win” and get the ultimate prize which is a man. They truly can’t grasp any deeper than that and it’s funny that they end falling in line with Cersei Lannister’s racist and ableist thought processes and don’t even know it. “whilst marrying his own son to a feeble dornish princess with black eyes and flat chest.”
It’s the same reason they rage at Sansa Stark. Sansa Stark “can’t” be kind and beautiful and have a leadership arc because if she does that means she’s somehow taking it away from Arya Stark or Daenerys Targaryen and she’s threatening them somehow. So of course they fantasize about “bringing her down a peg” because in their mind Sansa Stark doesn’t “know her place”. They want her gone from the narrative and they don’t want her to have fans because like Elia she makes them come face to face with their internalized misogyny and they don’t like it. They don’t want to handle the fact that multiple female characters can be canonically beautiful that multiple female characters can be kind or willful or cruel. That these female characters in general are multifaceted. No Sansa Stark has to be punished and hopefully saddled away. So their middle school fantasies can come true. The “not like other girls” prevailing over the feminine soft girls who were “actually bitches and bullies” and needed to be “punished” so the “good unique girls” get Queenships and some “hot” male character. Never mind that Daenerys, Sansa and Arya ALL share similar traits and are so well written they fit multiple categories together and apart. Never mind that Elia Martell and Lyanna Stark both brutally died and neither one was saved from that fate by being “beautiful or willful” or by Ratgar. Never mind that the endgame for Dany, Sansa and Arya will likely not involve them “winning against one another”.
Instead of thinking critically about the text I guess it’s much easier to blame Elia Martell for her own r*pe and murder or fantasize about a 13 year old abuse victim being “put in her place” through violence. At the end of the day Elia and Sansa are both canonically beautiful inside and out and acknowledging that doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. Nor does them having fans.
187 notes · View notes
zephycluster · 3 years
Text
Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore
If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.
First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.
Still here? Then let me begin.
Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.
Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.
When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.
Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.
Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.
Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.
Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.
But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!
Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s
But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.
Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.
Here's why.
Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.
I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.
"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."
I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).
Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.
Tumblr media
The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.
The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.
"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."
For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.
And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.
Tumblr media
And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.
Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).
Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister
Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird
Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh
Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear
Kain vs. Kaon = To eat
Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time
Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry
Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)
Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')
The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.
It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.
Tumblr media
Even the way they're written differs from location to location.
Tumblr media
While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.
Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.
What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."
Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.
Tumblr media
As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?
It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.
If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.
Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"
*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*
Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"
Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.
"Sure :v and the other islands are what?
Chopped liver?
Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"
And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.
Tumblr media
To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.
"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"
Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.
Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.
But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.
Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing
This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.
Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.
But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.
Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.
The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.
Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'
How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?
"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"
While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.
But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.
We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.
Tumblr media
Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.
The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.
Tumblr media
Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?
Tumblr media
We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!
It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.
72 notes · View notes
fictionalrambles · 4 years
Text
Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Fifteen
Tumblr media
Submitted by jwrites_
Five Favourite Fics:
1. What's It Gonna Be by @lemonoclefox
Why I love this fic: I'm a sucker for Pride & Prejudice. San was able to take that dynamic and put it all in a modern day telling of it. I can't count how many times I've read this. Sometimes I read it all the way through, other times I go and find my favorite parts just to get that rush of emotions it never fails to give. The enemies to lovers is done perfectly, the dialogue is great and flows seamlessly, the way she tied in the storyline between Simon, Isabelle, Valentine, and Alec together was genius. I truly love every word of this story.
Favorite scene: Awkward - love - confession - in -  the -  rain
Favorite quote(s):
(Yes. Love confessions are great but have you ever overheard someone say something rude about you and then have the opportunity later that same night to be able to casually call that person out for their comment?)
"Her friend is..." He trails off, as though searching for the word, and Magnus can imagine him gesturing in the meantime. "Interesting," Jace eventually settles on, pointedly.
"Who, that Bane guy?" Alec says, and as he does, Magnus is hit with a wave of intrigued surprise. Does Alec like men? Interesting. The assumption could be wrong, of course, but Jace's tone implies that that's why he's mentioning it. "He's a bit over the top, don't you think?"
He sounds almost disdainful as he says it, as though Jace's mere suggestion is laughable, and Magnus's intrigue immediately shifts to offended annoyance. He straightens a little where he stands, reluctantly affected by it.
--
"I mean, love songs are great," Magnus admits lightly. "But stringing a few pretty words together does seem a bit unoriginal when everyone does it."
Simon shoves him lightly in offense, and Magnus can't help but laugh.
"Then what do you suggest?" Magnus is taken completely by surprise when he realizes that it's Alec who's speaking, and he turns to him. The guy's expression is neutral, but seems genuinely curious.
"Oh, I don't know," Magnus says, swirling his drink around in his glass. He shrugs. "I suppose I'm more a fan of showing and not telling. I'd much prefer someone showing interest in what I like and who I am, than comparing my eyes to the night sky, and whatnot." He gestures airily, then hesitates. He suddenly can't seem to stop himself, the memory of the Lightwoods' overheard conversation bubbling to the surface. "I think most people can appreciate that. Even if some of us are a bit over the top."
--Okay...I'm gonna go ahead and throw in a love confession~
"Look, I don't expect anything from you," he says, as though the words are hard to say. "You've made your feelings pretty clear, and I respect that. But I heard you talked to my mom, and with the stuff you said to her... I guess it just kind of made me a bit hopeful, or something. A bit." He clears his throat, while Magnus just listens. He turns to watch Alec's profile as the young man struggles to find the words, eyes on the view in front of him. "Either way, I'll admit that how I feel hasn't really changed. Maybe it should have, but..."
Alec shakes his head, and Magnus feels his throat go dry. He wants to interrupt Alec, wants to say and show everything that's bursting out of his chest, but he waits. Alec takes a deep breath then, turns to him. He looks determined.
"If you want me to," he says steadily, "I'll go. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You won't hear from me again." He pauses, licks his lips. "But if you don't want me to, if something has changed since last time, somehow... I'd really like to know. Because that would be pretty great."
2. 42 North 71 West by @lecrit​
Why I love this fic: I was blessed with the opportunity to witness Lu working on this fic from its conception to its end. I was there and still I am blown away at the way she was able to work the time jumps. I remember thinking with every chapter I read, 'Wow. The way she is telling this story is amazing. She is amazing.' Lu has a way of presenting so much honesty in her characters. She writes them in a way that feels so real, that you can't help but understand their fears and hesitations even though it hurts. The story is a back and forth told through scenes set in the past and present. You get to see what they were and where they are. The story is beautifully heartbreaking. And she was able to make me enjoy a story that dealt with politics? What? Sorcery, I tell you. -- also, the bench.
Favorite scene: This was almost impossible to choose and I took way too long trying to pinpoint just one. But I'm going to go with one that I hold very dear. When Magnus goes to visit Alec on his birthday and he finds Alec playing the song he only plays when he's sad. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil~
Favorite quote(s):
“Magnus,” Alec breathes out.
The name feels almost foreign, as if he hadn’t uttered it in too long and now his mind is troubling to catch up with his mouth. Still, it manages to make Alec’s heart stutter.
--
“We should’ve stayed on that bench in Boston,” he murmurs.
--
The good thing is, he knows where to go to find his way back. It is inked on his body, engraved into his soul, sealed into his heart.
3. Lead The Way by Clockworkswan
Why I love this fic: Because it takes the wonderful adventure of Doctor Who and packs it in with Malec. This is the ultimate fun and feel good but you will also cry at one point fic. I always go back to it if I want a wonderfully written Doctor Magnus and his adorable companion Alec. Seriously, even if you're not into Doctor Who, give this fic a shot. It's written in a way that you will get so caught up in the adventure that you won't even realize it's based on something else. And if you're a Doctor Who fan, you're in luck with all the little Easter Eggs Heather left throughout.
Favorite scene: I really don't want to spoil anything. The planet of Ablorix. This will mean nothing if you don't read the fic (so you should ;])
Favorite quote(s):
Magnus extends a hand. It’s just like before, when they were in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. It’s just as inviting as it was the first time.
“How about it, pretty boy? Name a star. Any one will do. Or a date,” Magnus says. The double meaning is evident when he winks. He pauses then, and his expression shifts, growing solemn.
A clear shift in his demeanour happens. Magnus turns from playful to sincere in the blink of an eye. Although, there was also a serious tone to it. Magnus looks at him, and understanding eyes meet Alec’s hesitant ones. “Alexander, you seem like a man in need of a break, and I am very much a man in need of a friend. Adventures are always a quick way in figuring out what you want. What do you say?”
What does he say?
He says yes.
Of course Alec does.
--
Before Magnus can think of a good retort, he tries to ignore the clenching ache his stomach gives at the sight of a confident, smirking Alec Lightwood watching him so openly. He settles for pointing in a random direction. “I have to go and see a dog about a man. Meet back here in five?”
“Uh, isn’t the expression, ‘see a man about a dog’?”
“Not when the dog ran off with the man’s wife. A rather big scandal, it seems. The president wants me to try and step in. Smooth things over, so to speak.”
At that, Alec just stares blankly.
Magnus holds up a finger. “Yes, this is normal for me. No, you may not come along. Go.”
4. Love & Other Drugs prequel of Our Love Is A Harsh Chord in the Semi-charmed Kind Life series by @la-muerta​
Why I love this fic: I'm kind of cheating here by listing two fics but they're a package deal. Love & Other Drugs was a smutty one-shot that left me wanting
more...
backstory. Let me tell you the pining and 'unrequited' love between those two demanded a story to be written. Which is why when la_muerta ran a poll on whether or not she should start it or another series first, I campaigned for this one like it was my job (I lost but I still got the series eventually so did I really lose?) The writing in this and with all of la_muerta's fics will hook you. The sadness over the back and forth between them is done so well. It's angst that will grip you and hold onto you until you eventually finish. Just go on the twitter hashtag of #OLIAHCfic and see my screaming.
Favorite scene: Probably the LSD scene.
Favorite quote(s):
Alec was still here, in bed with him.
How many times had Magnus wished that he could wake up with Alec in his arms? He didn't dare to move, wanting the dream to last a little longer, but Alec was already stirring.
--
he'll wonder if life would be a little easier if he wasn't hopelessly in love with Magnus, but it is a fact of who he is now: Alec Lightwood is 6'3, has dark hair, is gay, and is in love with Magnus Bane.
--
They are lying next to each other now, turned on their sides and face to face. The world is no longer warped and weird, but glowing and perfect. Magnus is tracing a path of lightning down Alec's body with his fingertips, and in a moment of clarity Alec understands that in Magnus' eyes he is as beautiful as he thinks Magnus is (it is the first thing Alec forgets when he wakes up sober later).
--
Words aren't enough to express how he feels, but they've always understood each other better when clumsy words don't get in the way.
5. The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive​
Why I love this fic: It's funny, it's endearing, it's heart wrenching, it's sexy, etc. The way Alec is written in this fic is one of my favorite characterizations. The way his situation can resonate with so many young adults today. That feeling when you're an adult and you feel like you should know what to do with your life and who you should be but the truth is, you're still just as lost as always. Being an adult sucks tbh and even when you're an adult, sometimes life doesn't quite feel like it. Alec's character and growth in this fic is beautiful. (I also really loved Jace in this fic)
Favorite scene: A tough choice. Probably the office party and follow up scene in Magnus' office.
Favorite quote(s):
The problem with being a new grad, in general, is that the world and job force demands you have experience, but you have to live a certain number of productive years on the planet to gain that experience.
Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it, hence how he ended up in the precarious situation he’s in: dodgy sex work by night, an even dodgier roommate, and desperately hoping an internship eventually turns into an actual paying job.
--
Magnus runs his tongue down the knobs of Alec's spine. "You're so beautiful," he says, pausing.
"I'm really not," Alec insists, eyes fluttering closed.
"Why are you so kind to everyone except yourself?"
"I'm a work in progress."
"Aren't we all?"
57 notes · View notes
skzluvs · 4 years
Text
Strawberry Cheesecake 🍰; Han Jisung
Genre: Fluff!
Warnings: Swearing
Word count: 2.3K
A/N: Reuploading this one cause it had too many mistakes!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She tasted the saltiness of the caramel Frappuccino she ordered next to her a strawberry cake her ultimate favorite.
"So tell me Y/N how's school" Chan asked with a smile while he sipped his iced americano.
You where sitting at table in a vintage local coffee shop surrounded by aesthetically pleasing neon signs and flowers.
"You know being a college freshman is way harder than I thought" You sighed looking at him. Discomfort written all over your face.
“I know that face you make when something is troubling you, what it is exactly? I truly doubt is school related" He spoke softly.
" I swore I wasn't going to fall for him Chan, then tell me why I can't take him off my mind" You almost banged your head on the table as a sign of frustration.
You just couldn't understand why he made you feel that particular way and why exactly had to be him the one who everyone wanted the one you absolutely just couldn't have.
“He just has that effect on people Y/N"- Chan laughed showing his cute dimples.
" He truly does but that's not the point Chan you are supposed to be my friend and tell me to stay away from him before I fall in deeper"
Chan knew him they're weren't exactly close but they both shared American literature and that means they have talked here and then. Also they share a lot of things in common for example they were majoring on the same career.
" I can't do that sweetheart because indeed I'm your friend and if you like him I guess I support it"- He raised his shoulders innocently.
" Christopher Bang Chan! I never said I liked him to begin with and second of all you are such a bad friend this is why Woojin will always be my favorite"- You replied to him with annoyance raising your voice a little. Causing some customers to look at you.
Yes, you had the guy on your mind 24/7 but you just couldn't afford to like him. It was not safe, there were a million reasons why you couldn’t fall on that trap and mainly because you didn't wanted to become another one of the so called “fans” he has too many of those already.
" I feel disrespected but let me remind you woojin is still mad at you because you ate his precious chicken" He snapped back.
"What part of I was drunk both of you don't understand I was about to passed out and that chicken was the only thing that was on the fridge it was totally not my fault in fact you guys should do the groceries more often just saying" you responded with a sassy tone.
You were too busy fighting with Chan to noticed that a group of guys entered the coffee shop. And in that small crowd of young boys the protagonist of your chaotic nonexistent love life.
" Y/N I think we are missing the point here" He said trying to go back to the initial conversation.
" And that is..." You said waiting impatiently for him to answer.
" To admit that you do like him" a grin spread across his face.
You wanted to beat him so hard for being such a cheeky bastard.
"Fuck you Christopher I'm just going to pretend I didn't heard you assume my feelings like that" You scoffed in disbelief.
" What are you so afraid of though" he questioned raising an eyebrow at you.
" I already told you. First of all he's never going to like me back we only talked like twice and that's only because my clumsy ass bumped into him in the library"
" Don't you guys share a clase together" Chan asked while taking a sip of his coffee.
" Yes economics, but you know Mr. popular sits in the back surrounded by girls who are staring at him all day admiring his beauty while on the contrary I have to sit on the front so I can actually listen to Wilson talk about Adam Smith and his invisible hand of capitalism for an hour straight"
" Sounds like fun" he repeated mocking you.
" Today you are acting like a real asshole and I'm questioning why I'm still friends with you"- You said sending him a dead stare.
"I guess someone not in the mood for jokes" He said grinning.
"I'm just stressed out okay!"- You growled.
" Well I'm just going to say, you can keep denying it all you want I know you better than anyone else and unfortunately I can tell you are already in love with the poor man"
Mental note never talk about your love life with Christopher Bang because he has no fucking clue about anything else but music.
" When did you gotten so wise ? clearly never because all you are saying is nothing but bullshit" You crossed my arms in denial.
" Whatever you say Y/N. Why haven't you eaten your strawberry cake yet this matter must be really affecting you today because you tend to devore that thing in seconds"
The straberry cheesecake was just there sitting lonely on the table dripping the red syrup while the big chunk of straberry on top was slowly melting. You stared at it lost on your own thoughts.
There are too many reason why is even risky to think You were to like him but You couldn’t help to suppress a smile when You thought about him laughing or just walking confidently along with his friends through the hallways. You felt like a high schooler all over again having this secret crush on someone who can be seen as unreachable.
To you he was a like a shinning star in a sky, someone I wished upon up every night knowing that even with my extended hands I was never going to be able to touch because he felt too high for a simple mortal like yourself.
" HEY BANG CHAN"- a voice called for my best friend who rapidly turn his head looking for the owner.
You stayed there frozen In your place you could recognize that voice anywhere Seo Changbin one of the richest and most admired guys in school and of course for my misfortune his best friend.
“Hey Seo how you been?"  He asked while greeting the boy with a typical handshake.
There was no surprised that Changbin was talking to Chan they're both Music Majors, talented creative, self producers who were extremely passionate about their career unlike you who selected probably the most boring and time consuming career it could possible exist.
That's correct You were a Med student. Exciting knowing You’ll probably die before I get the chance to graduate.
"I've been well but actually I wanted to talk to you about a song I've been working on, do you maybe want to help me with some tracks ?” He asked directly and I could've sworn I heard Chris gasp.
" Of course mate I would love to" He replied with that beautiful smile showing off his dimples once again.
" I'm actually not that busy right now do you mind if we go to my place and work on it I barely started the beat" Changbin suggested.
" I don't mind I'm not busy either" Chan said immediately.
" Then let's go! can't wait for you to hear it" Changbin said turning around quickly.
You turned to face him for the first time since he got here, they were just talking comfortably as they pretended You wasn't even there but honestly You didn't mind at all, that's what happens when people with similar interests get together also nor You wanted to interrupt their personal conversation.
" I'm leaving Baby! I'll see you tomorrow I'm sorry we couldn't finish talking about you know what but I'll treat you to dinner next time"- Channie said while taking his jacket from the chair and standing up to follow Changbin.
" Don't worry about me, have fun with your new friend" You gave him a smile before he disappeared through the crystal doors of the coffee shop.
And then you came back to your thoughts while you kept on staring at my favorite dessert that didn't look as appetizing as before when you purchased it about 30 minutes ago.
As you was having this mental battle of trying to figure out my feeling for the dark haired boy you didn't even noticed that someone approached your table and stand there looking directly at you.
" Y/N" A sweet voice called out your name taking me out of your trance.
"Huh"- You said looking up confused.
That the minute your heart stopped for a couple of seconds and suddenly You forgot how to properly breathe. The most beautiful man was standing right there next to you with his hands on his pockets and his beautiful brown hair styled to the side. He was wearing sweatpants and a red hoodie but he still looked like a model.
"Can I sit here or are you waiting for someone" He asked offering that smile you always end up falling for.
Was he actually talking to you? You questioned mentally. You don't even know each other like that You wonder how is it possible that he even knows your name maybe he has a good memory and remembers you as the girl who tripped with the books on him on the library.
“God why did my mom had to made me uncoordinated” you said unaudible feeling your ears burn in embarrassment.
Your hands were sweating and You couldn't get the words out of your mouth you was suffocating on them.
" You can sit" you said rushing your words as you could spitted fire. If Chan ever needed a back up rapper you think you could do the job.
He proceeded to pull the chair in front of you and plopped himself on it while putting his elbows on the table and resting his cheeks on his hand his eyes looking directly at me. You instantly broke the eye contact and focused your gaze on that strawberry cheesecake again.
There was an awkward silence for a few minutes were neither of you made a sound until he decided to end it.
" Y/N i need to ask you something" His sweet voice sounded a little preoccupied.
" What is it" It was so hard for you to pretend to play it cool in front of him. The one who haunted you even on your own sleep a place where you thought it was safe. But not anymore.
"I know we haven't talked much but I found you really interesting" He scratched the back of his head nervously. "what I'm trying to say is that I would really like to get to know you I mean if that's okay with you of course" He said so fast no wonder why he's actually a rapper.
The red of your cheeks were just as the color of the strawberry syrup from that cake. How was you supposed to answer that while not long ago you was rejecting any possibility of liking him.
" I know this question might sound stupid to you but why me? You know there's absolutely no one in this one who hasn't fallen for you yet" I questioned still unable to believe on his words.
" Oh I know there's one, You are the only one who hasn't" He said obviously.
" So you are saying you find me challenging because I can resist to your charming face " you raised an eyebrow starting to feel offended you clearly wasn't going to be a game to him.
" Not quite I'm saying you are different and I like that maybe you don't realize it but even if the whole world liked me I would still only look at you, I mean I have been since you came in late the first day to Wilson's trying to fix yourself because you looked like you ran a marathon to get there" His laugh overflowed the whole room.
"Excuse me but my alarm didn't worked that morning and I didn't even got to eat breakfast so yes I ran my way all over there sorry I didn't looked presentable to your eyes but some people don't want to be late on their first day" You snapped back messing with him a little.
It was comfortable being with him like this right now. Something told me you was going to cherish this moment forever.
"I never said you looked bad in that moment I thought wow that messy girl is the prettiest one I've ever seen" A smirk spreading across his face.
"Are you just trying to cover up the fact that you literally just roasted me" You said laughing.
" Hey I didn't!” He said puffing outhis cheeks and You must admit he looks adorable every time he does that.
“By the way I was also meaning to ask is strawberry cheesecake your favorite as well?” He asked looking at the almost melted dessert.
" Yes it is. I have tried many variations but I always come back to this old friend, trust me I can eat strawberry cheesecakes for life I just haven't eaten this one because I was too distracted"
"Mine too! I love all kinds of cheesecakes to be honest with you, but no other flavor can surpass the deliciousness of the strawberry one. I must say it's my favorite because in some way it reminds me of you"
"How so" You asked curiously trying to hide the blush on your cheeks.
" It's really sweet but not to the point my teeth would hurt and the juicy texture of the strawberry just melts with the cheese and the cookie crust that's kinda how you are Sweet enough for me to like you with a twist personality that makes it even more fun"
You grabbed the fork and cut a piece of the cake while You shoved it on his mouth.
"Just be quiet for a moment you are being cheesier than the cheesecake" You said pointing at the plate while laughing at his sudden confession.
“Mmm this is delicious” He said savoring the taste on his lips. Liking them slowly in a teasing way.
“By the way, just for the record I was the one who purposely bumped into you at the library I'm sorry I had to grabbed your attention somehow" He winked at you with a smirk.
"JISUNG" You yelled at him.
You both talked about many things that afternoon but one thing you would never be able to forget is how his lips also tasted sweet like that strawberry cheesecake you shared.
178 notes · View notes
lire-casander · 4 years
Note
2, 7, 17, 29 💕💕💕
Since one of these questions got out of hand so quickly, I’m putting all of them under a cut to save all your dashes!
2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
I’m not sure I haven’t tried every single trope in the world of angsty tropes. I’ve been writing for far longer than I’ve known what tropes were, so I can’t really know.
What I can tell you is that I’d love to be better at writing the fluffier tropes: only one bed, idiots in love, accidental marriage, road trip fic... Hard as I try, I always think I fall short.
7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
This isn’t tough at all. I loved writing an American Idol RPF big bang ten years ago, and the first scene I wrote was the one I’m quoting below. For context, the main character is a female OC named Addira, and the main male character is David Cook, and they’re meeting after she ran away from him because she felt like she wasn’t enough for him (while he, obviously, didn’t think so). Before you say anything, no, this wasn’t a self-insert kind of fic, even if it may sound like it. Addira is the one character from the ones I’ve created that I love the most, and I always wanted to write someone who was brave enough to follow their dreams but fragile enough to be afraid of breaking if they did. Thus, Addira came to life.
As David Cook strolls confidently across their front yard in Tulsa, Addie holds her breath. He's alone, rain soaking him while he walks as if he owns the world. Frank disappears into the building with the raincoat and the mug. "Addie!" he calls when she turns around. "It's raining," it's the only reply she can come up with. "I couldn't care less," David says as he climbs the few stairs to the porch. "You're soaked," she points out. "That I already knew." David is reaching out and grabbing her hand, pulling her out of the porch and into the pouring rain. "I needed to talk to you." "Did you need to get me caught in the rain as well?" she complains. There's a strange light in David's eyes; Addie feels short of breath and dizzy all of a sudden. "Maybe not," he admits. "But we're even now." "Well, weren't you supposed to be performing somewhere far from here?" she questions. Her voice isn't as stuttery as she thought it'd be; she doesn't know if she should be proud of that. "Let's say that what I needed to tell you is far more important than any show." "More important than your fans?" Addie can't believe what he's saying. David has always been devoted to his fans from the very beginning. "I think my fans would worry about me being unhappy," he replies as clarification, but Addie still doesn't understand. "Addie, listen." "I've been doing nothing but listening to you for years," she quips when it's obvious David has trailed off, gaze lost somewhere deep into Addie's eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry I was a bastard to you. I didn't have any right, and I was hurt and tired and disappointed and down. That's not an excuse, though." "I wasn't exactly what you'd call a good girl," she admits lowly. "I was mad at you. I'm still angry, you know." David hasn't let go of her; they're both dripping wet under the rain. "But I think I've understood you in the end. These three days have been a complete disaster without you." "Don't," she starts. She doesn't like where the conversation is going; it isn't the first time they're having it, and although she's having second thoughts about her position, she's still unsure. "I know you're afraid," he cuts her off. "Believe me, it's taken me years to get it, but now I do. You're terrified you'd get in my way." "I would," she says firmly. "You believe it," David muses. "But lemme tell you something. You're not the only one who’s scared. I'm thinking that the only happiness I'll ever find in this world might leave. Again." Addie shakes her head and turns away. "You're making a mistake," he calls after her. "You're refusing to be happy for the wrong reasons. I know you think you'd stop my flight, but why can't you see it?" David sounds desperate. "You're not stopping me. You're my wings." She stops dead in her tracks. She can feel the emotion lacing each word, as if it's present between them. She balls her hands at her sides, trying to control her tears; she fails spectacularly. "It wouldn't work," she says. It's barely a whisper but David hears her over the rain that's drenching them both. "What does your heart feel, Addie?" he asks. "I won't take a lie this time. It's not about what you think that's good for me, it's not about what I need. It's about what I want, and I want to be whole again. Don't you want that too?" Against her better judgment, she nods. "Then let's try. Please. Let me show you how high you can take me," David says. "Turn around and give us a chance to be happy. I think we deserve it. Haven't we gone through enough? Do you love me, Addie?" Words leave her. Her throat is tied with a knot so tight she doesn't think she will talk ever again. He's right – she's denied the two of them this chance for long enough. She doesn't want to risk their friendship, but she has to admit to herself that it isn't enough for her – she needs more, she wants more, and David is offering it for what seems like the last time. So she does the only thing she feels strong enough to do. She turns around and runs toward David under the rain. David is ready to catch her when she launches herself against him, like he's been waiting for this forever. She reaches up and searches for his mouth to kiss him. She tries to express everything she can't say in the motion – the frustration, the pain, the fear, but also the hope, the longing, the love. Her tears mix with the rain, mingling with David's. David takes her hand and entwines their fingers. When he squeezes them, Addie realizes that, for the first time in over ten years, she doesn't know what's going to happen from now on. It's oddly freeing. "Yeah," she says, finding her voice rivers of water marring her freckled skin. "I love you." Her heart stops aching, finally.
It came to me one day as I was going to work, and I daydreamed about it until I could write it down. I love the scenery of rain and meeting in the middle of a field, and I love how this turned out to be. I even love the dialogue!
17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
It depends on the story, but I usually write out of order. Sometimes I get hit by an idea and I write the scene, and most of thos times said scene happens to be either the end of the fic or somewhere in between, so I have to fill in the gaps. It’s fun writing out of order, but it’s also a pain when you have no recollection of what you’ve written so far.
29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
I would never try my hand at someone else’s work. I don’t think I’d do it justice. I have played with other people’s characters (I’m looking at you @bellakitse, thanks for letting me play with the Reyes women!), but I don’t think I could write something in someone else’s universe, fandom-wise. I took part some years ago in a remix challenge, and it was fun, but I felt like I was doing a poor service.
send me a question from the 40 questions to ask writers meme!
1 note · View note