#a weird thing abt me is that I have such a hard time drawing emilie. even here I had to cut half her face off.

[anna-scribbles]

thirteen update 🍂 🎹 🏠 👻

chapter 2: November

chapter summary:

She was in a good mood. If she was ever going to take it well, it would be now.

“Maman, what if I went to school this year?”

excerpt:

“Heh.” Adrien flicked a finger beneath his chin and strutted the length of his bathroom floor, glancing at himself in the mirror. He twirled a rose—a red one, one he’d grabbed from the vase downstairs—between his fingers and then presented it to the mirror with a flourish.

“Haruhi!” he declared, “the spring of my heart surges upon the sight of your fresh smile, my love. My heart beats at the command of your drum! Your face is the fierce longing of my soul, and I present to you now this token of my lavish, undying—”

A sharp knock clicked against the bedroom door and Adrien froze, his hand still passionately hovering over his heart.

“Adrien?” Nathalie’s voice called, and Adrien—true to character, if he did say so himself—startled so hard that he slipped and fell onto his butt on the tile.

“Yeah?” he called, hastily pulling himself up and trying to find a place to set down the rose.

Nathalie peeked her head through the bathroom door and took him in, his rumpled hair and the too-small blue blazer he’d saved in the back of his closet for occasions such as…this.

“You have a guest,” she said flatly, and Adrien could not for the life of him figure out whether she was making fun of him.

She left before he could decide, and then it was only a matter of seconds before his bathroom door was thrown all the way open and a blonde ponytail bobbed into view.

“Adrikins!” Chloé crashed into him, wrapping him up in a hug that nearly knocked him over again. “It’s been way too long. You’ve been neglecting me. Aw, did you get me a rose?” She plucked it from his hands and then scrunched up her nose. “Ew, is this real?”

“As real as the current that springs from the well of my heart,” Adrien invented, and Chloé frowned at him like he’d just spoken Greek. “Nevermind.”

She looked him up and down and scrunched her nose up even more. “What did you do to your hair?”

Adrien frowned at his reflection in the mirror and pushed his hair further over to the side.

“I was trying to make it look cool.” He’d been trying to make it look like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club.

“It looks like you just rolled out of bed.”

read on ao3

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml fic #miraculous #thirteen #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #my art #HAPPY NOVEMBER(<-girl who procrastinates. it is the last day of november) #still. it counts. #shout out to me for deciding to draw a title card at midnight last night. #a weird thing abt me is that I have such a hard time drawing emilie. even here I had to cut half her face off. #something something ghost of a person. not tangible enough to pin down not even while she's still alive. just the idea of a perfect mother #a beautiful memory #what is it like to be the dead wife before she's dead? #etc etc. anyway there's endless tamaki suoh references in here. sorry #(<-isn't sorry) #I love fact checking myself in my own tags #okay happy thursday everybody I gotta do my work now

[mazzystargirl]

do you have any good book recommendations?

ok sorry this took me so long to answer but i have so much i want to recommend!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to rant abt books, anon!!!! i also know this is going to be long so i put all my recs under the cut :)

it’s likely if you’re on tumblr that you already know about the main tumblr books (like six of crows or all for the game etc) so i’m not going to waste time telling you that you should read them if you haven’t. you should. they’re good.

here are some lesser known books that i don’t see a ton of fan content for! in no particular order!!!

1. Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. this is an all around weird (in the best way!!) book tbh. it follows a girl named jane who visits her friend’s house on an island. it’s split into five stories, each one a different genre and based on a choice that jane made. it’s sort of hard to describe, but it’s seriously so brilliant. also jane is a bi girl if you’re into that! 

2. The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding. this is a lesbian rom-com! it’s about a girl named abby in los angeles who meets another girl (jordi perez) and they fall for each other. ITS SO CUTE UGH it’s full of really awesome friendship and romance that made me feel butterflies in my belly. ugh i love it so much. 

3. Dear Rachel Maddow by Adrienne Kisner. this book made me cry a lot. i think it can be a really emotionally heavy book, but it’s also very cathartic to read. it follows a girl, brynn, who’s brother’s died and she is struggling with the aftermath of that. the thing i love about brynn is how much she really cares about everything. she’s my favorite type of heroine, someone who tries so hard and cares so much, but has a lot of trouble expressing it because of sadness and stuff. maybe i’m projecting. also, brynn’s a lesbian. i think you can probably see a theme here. tw//suicide attempt

4. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. i’m not sure how popular this book is but it’s good, ok. don’t let anyone tell you nina lacour books are boring. it made me cry like hell. it’s about a girl named marin who goes to college across the country from where she lives after her grandfather dies. she isolates herself from everyone in her old life, and it’s such a beautiful story of family and friendship and finding yourself after you think you’re so lost you can never recover. 

5. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth. this book is amazing and not enough people have read it. i know you might have already heard of it but: follows a gay girl named cameron whose parents die and she navigates through being gay is montana in the 90s. highly, highly recommend if you haven’t read it! tw//conversion therapy

6. The Literary Works of Alice Oseman. she has a decent fanbase on this website, but just. read all her books. they’re so amazing. they’re all so realistic and indicative of the millennial/gen z experience in this day and age. highly, highly, highly recommend. her books are probably my favorites of all time! 

7. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. i know i said lesser known books, and this book is pretty popular, but ugh. this book. ugh this book is so, so, so good. it’s a must read! it’s about a girl named starr who is the witness to the murder of her friend khalil at the hands of the police. it has a very delicate exploration of relationships between the police and low-income black families. the core of the book is really about family and friendship and being strong in a time of hardship, and it’s very very touching and an extremely good piece of work. also it annoys me that there’s not more fanwork surrounding this book. i can’t draw but i wish i could JUST so i could draw starr and khalil!!! tw//character death

8. Release by Patrick Ness. this book follows a young gay boy, adam, through one day of his life, and it is a WEIRD day. there are some really insane supernatural elements, and it explores adam’s relationship with his friends, his family, his boyfriend, his ex-boyfriend, and more! it’s definitely on the heavier side, too. it’s sweet and sometimes really sad. it’s also such a beautiful book. patrick ness is SUCH a good writer ugh. tw//homophobia and sexual harassment

9. Whatever by S.J. Goslee. this book is SO funny ugh. it’s kind of wild but very cute. it’s about a boy named mike who realizes he’s bisexual! he’s a dumb stoner half the time but he drinks his respecting women and loving his friends juice so you end up adopting him halfway through the book. there are a lot of really awesome friendships and i love mike’s sister a lot too. tw//homophobia and biphobia

10. Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen. this book is also Very Funny. it’s about a girl named cynthia who realizes that her librarian is actually a demon from another dimension, and has to save her best friend annie from becoming his bride. it has such an awesome friend dynamic between cyn and annie, and also her two other friends diane and leticia! the romance between cyn and her love interest is also a very healthy and cute relationship that i love. plus the backdrop of musical theatre was also very cute because i love musical theatre lmao! there’s also a sequel and a third book coming out in august that i am Very Excited about!

11. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken! an actually good apocalypse novel series! a whole thing happens that makes a bunch of kids have superpowers, and they’re sent to basically concentration camps, and they have to overthrow the leader. i love the main character ruby and also love the relationship between her and her friends, zu, chubs, liam, vida, and jude. three books in the series and one book of novellas. 

12. Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger. abt a girl named sophronia who goes to finishing school. the school ends up being a school for spies. chaos ensues. i seriously love this story so much. it’s set in a steampunk london, so lots of cool gadgets with the retro coolness of the victorian era. there are highwaymen, but they fly so they’re called flywaymen, and werewolves, and vampires, and a kid named vieve who is seriously such a delight. four books in the series. 

13. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis. this book is so insane. it’s about a girl named alex craft who gets revenge on the asshole who murdered her sister. it’s an examination of rape culture and all the shit that comes with being a girl in high school right now. tw//sexual and physical assault

14. Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. so i didn’t know the author was in glee, i just picked the book up because i thought the cover was cool. and yes, it is not a perfect book. but it is wild. it is crazy. it has a lot of heart. and that’s what matters. it’s funny and just kind of a fun trip to read. the plot kind of feels like fanfiction at times, but you know what. its stranger than that. 

i hope you like these books anon!! they’re some that i really enjoyed and now i feel like i want to go back and read them again lmao. 

#ask #anon #book recs

[aitian]

monday jan 28 12:32

today was ok. i woke up knowing i would have to commute on my own to hubterbcollege for the first nycaasc meeting. the walk was so long through central park & not even the nice park area just the nasty sidewalk under tunnels where the cars zoom through.

nycaasc was awkward. everyone leading was awkward, & i felt awkward tension in the room listening to so many ppl say things i did & didnt agree with & embody things i hate/enjoy abt my asian-americaness. & esp being near Emily he was weird bc i knew they were into it but i dont think i was. so it felt like pretending. & i should have just left bc today was :/// but i kept hanging out w them like goingto a photo gallery then taking the bus back & going to their dorm to cook & eat w them & their roommates that i feel foreign & out of place being near bc its such a WOMXN space rather than a gender inclusive space of that makes sense & idk i feel so not welcome. but yea i felt boring & small & unwanted mostly but also a burden for taking up space & being all of the things above idk. bad vibes i guess.

i have been trying so hard to have good times too. on Saturday i bought alcohol w eelia & tasha & it was awkward & awful bc eelia was another at her mom for asking her to do work & tasha was being rly disrespectful of boundaries & coming onto eelia so much & i felt like a weird third wheel but in the middle of it if that makes sense. but yea felt ok but whatever & i spent the whole time checking in on eelia bc im a good friend but expecting reciprocity is always hard like today i wanted to go to jjs bc i didn’t eat well but instead i felt stupid for asking (begging) eelia to do smth she didn’t want to do & she said it was me who was being inconsiderate to her but whatever i guess that’s true & im stupid for wanting to not b hungry even tho i literally agree to like sit w her when i don’t need to eat and etc haha resentful

another thing that happened was i msged someone who interns at aaww for design for an internship lmfao & their answer was haha no things r strange yay cool idc which was a great thing to wake up to. i got into contact w them bc of emily li. i had some good hanging out w emily last week, esp friday we went to chinatown & it was comfortable like we can have silence & be ok type comfortable. & that night i went to amandas party & got so drunk off wine like i think i had a whole box. that was a rly good day.

& i met raphael who is so gay & so pretty & the first topic of conversation was how amazing his boyfriend is haha i want to die. idk y but there r so many unavailable attractive asian boys in my week. thomas is v cute & i think maybe confirmed queer?? not sure but he is at least friends w many gay asian ppl. & there r two very hot asian boys in my frosci class they r actually so hot. & finally the boy i took secret pics of that time i studied for lit hum with thomas on accident is in my new lit hum class. he was asked to be a scribe last time & it was so embarrassing bc the teacher had to spell everything out for him. columvia rly out here making a fool of anyone who doesn’t come from a bg of the white american education.

my first week was full of classes. very busy & i hung out w ppl every day. all of my cser classes made me feel like i didn’t belong, like they were not meant for first yr students who r depressed & unable to handle an intensive workload. all of my art classes made me feel like i was a fool for trying, like i am a fool for thinking it might be a space for me to learn from. i got put on the printmaking waitlist bc many many mfa students & upper yr students showed up. i am dropping drawing bc i do not need a while woman & a white woman space to tell me what actions of mine r valuable. & the only way i would succeed in that class is if i become exoticised in a way that feels appealing to them. so yea i have decided that i will not study art in my life i guess. wack.