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#a coworker on accident / or if we need his mood to be improved in general'
hqbbg · 4 years
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remember.
pairing: akaashi x reader
summary: akaashi’s lost his memories and you remember the events leading up to it.
genre: angst
word count: 2.4K
warnings: slight mention of blood, incident of car accident
author’s note: hi y’all! this is my contribution to the Haikyuu Headquarters server collab ✨ the prompt for this one is amnesia and I chose to write for Akaashi, but check out the other writers’ works here! I hope y’all enjoy!
part two.
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The smell of the hospital is all too familiar to your senses now. There’s a low buzz of white noise around you as people come and go, walking around and minding their own business. What are they here for? Who are they here for?
You wait patiently for the elevator doors to slide open, your fingers wrung in front of you. You twiddle your thumbs three times before the light comes on above the silver doors accompanied by a ‘ding!’ and you step inside. Your finger immediately presses the button for the fourth floor, and you hold the door open for two more people as they enter the metal box. You ask which floor they need and press the corresponding buttons, watching as the doors close shut, and your steady ascent begins.
It’s quiet, save for the beeping of the elevator every time it reaches a new floor. When you arrive on the fourth floor, you wait a moment before the doors slide open before stepping out. You turn right and see the white sign above the familiar double doors that read ‘Intensive Care Unit’ and press the button for them to open automatically.
A few nurses give you small smiles upon seeing you and you do your best to reciprocate the gesture, though it never quite reaches your eyes. Nowadays, it never does.
Your hands are shaking as you reach for the door handle. The metal feels cold against your fingers and you inhale an unsteady breath before turning the bar. As the door opens, a gust of cold air hits you and the sound of multiple machines beeping fills your ears. You walk in and close the door behind you, setting your bag down on the countertop next to the entrance. Sighing to yourself, you pull the same chair you’ve been using for the past several days up to the edge of the bed and seat yourself in it. You sit in silence for a moment, unable to tear your eyes away from the main source of your joy—although, he was the current source of your heartache—Akaashi Keiji.
Had it not been for the various tubes connected to him and the reason behind this situation, he almost looked peaceful. You lift a hand and brush some hair away from his closed eyes, allowing your fingers to linger a little longer as you float them along the frame of his face. You bite your lip and hold back the tears beginning to line your eyes as your hand retracts back towards yourself.
You hum along to the song playing on the radio and keep your eyes fixed on the moving buildings and cars around you. You feel Akaashi’s thumb rubbing soothing circles around your own, squeezing your intertwined fingers every so often. As the current song comes to an end, you reach over with your empty hand and grab his phone from its spot in the console and unlock it to queue up the next couple of songs. As you do so, his phone buzzes and an unfamiliar name appears accompanied by a message.
What are you doing right now? :)
You frown slightly but choose to disregard it and continue to queue up three more songs. You look over at him and see that he continues to keep his eyes fixed on the road, completely unaware of what’s going on. You put the phone back down and debate on whether or not you should address it or not.
“Hey, you got a message,” you finally say after a few moments.
Akaashi’s eyes flicker over to you for a brief moment.
“I’ll just read it later.”
You hum in acknowledgement and decide to ignore the bubbling curiosity settling within your stomach.
Your eyes flit over to the heart monitor beeping behind the bed and you trace the cadence of each steady beat. You lower your gaze back down and sigh again. You lift your hand and grasp Akaashi’s, giving it a soft squeeze.
The breeze feels good against your skin and you inhale the fresh air with a smile on your face. The two of you finally arrived at your favorite lookout point and the city below still bustles with activity. You turn around and feel the corner of your lips falter when you see Akaashi on his phone, his thumbs tapping quickly along the screen. You turn back around and remind yourself that it’s nothing, probably just someone from work or something.
“Hey, I have to make a call really quick,” he says. You turn your head and nod.
“Okay, I’ll set everything up.”
He smiles apologetically as he takes a few steps away from the car. You choose not to dwell on it and make your way to the car to set up the little picnic the two of you had planned together.
Just as you finish setting everything up, Akaashi makes his way over and presses a kiss against your forehead.
“Sorry, I’m here now. Thanks for setting up.”
You tell him it’s no problem, simply happy with the fact that he’s here now as the two of you sit down. You hear his phone buzz and try to ignore him as he pulls the device out, typing again.
Tears continue to line your eyes as your fingers trace over his knuckles, feeling how prominent they’ve become under his skin. You lift his hand to your lips and press a small kiss against it, gently setting it back down at his side.
He’s so still. Had you not known any better, he reminded you of a living photograph.
For a split second, you could’ve sworn you saw his finger move ever so slightly but figure you’d just imagined it. You miss hearing his voice, feeling his arms around you, just him in general.
“I’m so full,” you sigh in content as you begin to clean up around yourself.
The sun has already begun setting and it’s starting to get dark. As the two of you continue to collect your things, you hear his phone buzz again with yet another text notification. At this point, you’ve lost count of how many times he’d stopped to respond. You want to ask, but you can’t help but feel as if you’re just being paranoid for no reason. However, he’s been on his phone more than he’s even looked you in the eyes tonight.
When you’re both done, you head back to the car and get inside, sitting patiently for him to start up the engine. He sits in the driver’s seat, eyes still fixed on his phone with the slightest trace of a smile on his lips. You can’t help but feel a little irked and albeit a bit jealous, so you finally decide to ask, deciding that you’ve waited enough.
“Who is it?”
“Hm?” Akaashi finally looks up from his phone and blinks innocently at you.
“You’ve been on your phone all night long,” you can’t resist the small pout on your lips.
“Sorry, love,” he says as he puts his phone down. “One of my coworkers just had a question about an upcoming project.”
“Do they know that tonight was supposed to be our date night?” You ask, trying your best to maintain an indifferent demeanor, though the question comes out more aggressively than you’d intended.
Akaashi doesn’t seem to mind, offering another apologetic smile. You do your best to stand your ground, though his smile alone makes you feel like you’re crumbling.
“It was just time sensitive,” he says. “I’ll be sure we aren’t interrupted for our next date night, okay?”
He reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. He starts the engine and you feel at ease, mentally scolding yourself for getting worked up over nothing.
You grasp onto Akaashi’s hand again, missing its warmth. Right now, all you want is for him to squeeze back reassuringly, remind you that everything’s going to be okay.
The doctors had explained to you that he would be able to recover quickly so long as he followed the proper procedures once he was conscious. Even in this state, he was already improving greatly. He just needs to wake up. You need him to wake up.
The drive home is dark. You watch the road ahead of you as Akaashi rests his right hand on your thigh. You continue to reprimand yourself internally for overthinking things, even having the audacity to suspect your otherwise perfect boyfriend.
He treats you so well, taking care of you, and putting up with the different mood swings you’d have from time to time.
“You’re being quiet,” Akaashi breaks the silence first.
“Hm?” You look over at him.
“You seem to be deep in thought,” he says, giving your thigh a slight squeeze before removing his hand altogether. You shake your head—whether it’s to shake yourself back into focus or to rid yourself of other thoughts, you’re not sure.
“I’m just thinking about you,” you reply. It’s not a lie.
Akaashi’s ears and cheeks tint a soft pink at your forwardness.
“Care to elaborate?”
You shake your head again, though this time it’s more playful.
“My thoughts will stay within my head,” you say, grinning to yourself.
As the two of you continue to converse, you both fail to notice a car nearing the intersection at full speed.
You could’ve sworn you just felt Akaashi’s fingers move in your hands. The first time might’ve been a hallucination, but this time, you definitely felt it. You let go of his hand and quickly make your way towards the door, reaching for the handle and pulling the door open. You quickly get the attention of the closest nurse nearby and explain what had happened. He nods and follows you back to the room.
You stop dead in your tracks, feeling your heart flutter with emotion as gunmetal blue eyes stare back at you. Just as you’re about to run over and throw your arms around him, Akaashi opens his mouth to speak.
“Who are you?”
His voice is hoarse, not having been used in days, but you heard him loud and clear.
“I’m one of the nurses here—”
Akaashi shakes his head, keeping his eyes locked on yours.
“Who are you?”
In three simple words, it feels like your world is falling apart faster than you can pick up the pieces. He doesn’t have the same soft smile you’re used to, the same warmth and love in his eyes. Instead, he’s guarded, and confusion is written all over his face.
“I need to go get a doctor. I’ll be right back,” the nurse says, quickly rushing out of the room. You’re left alone once again.
“Do you not know who I am?” You frown, approaching him slowly.
“Should I?” Akaashi shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows. This can’t be happening.
“We’ve been dating for over a year,” you respond, feeling tears prickling your eyes once again. “Come on, Keiji, it’s me.”
Your voice comes out weaker than you’d anticipated and the look of indifference you’re receiving in return hurts.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are,” he says politely. You open your mouth to say something else, but the door swings open and a doctor accompanied by a couple nurses walks in.
You’re unsure of what happened. One moment, you’re having a good time with your boyfriend, but the next, you feel your body jerking in multiple directions as the car spins out of control. The sound of glass shattering accompanied by a soft sting of pieces cutting across your skin is sharp in the night.
There isn’t much noise—though, you’re unsure if it’s because the ringing in your ears is too loud to notice—and your eyes feel out of focus. You look over and see Akaashi slumped over, a thick and dark red liquid seeping from the side of his head and beginning to stain his shirt.
Your heart is pounding in your chest as you call out for Akaashi, but he doesn’t respond. You continue to scream and cry for him to wake up, preparing for the worst until your throat feels raw. You ignore the pain and stiffness in your neck, gripping onto his bleeding arm and shake him. You’re unsure of how much time passes, but soon you hear sirens and suddenly, your world is black.
“He’s showing signs of amnesia,” the doctor sighs heavily as she looks through the chart on her clipboard. “He’s retained his basic motor skills, but he doesn’t seem to remember much of anything in the past couple of years. This is probably a result from a really intense concussion. When we scanned him for brain damage, we didn’t see anything intense, so it could be possible that this is short-term memory loss.”
“How can he get his memories back?” You bite your lip nervously, trying to hold back the tears so that you can hear out the doctor’s orders appropriately.
“Unfortunately, there’s no promise that he’ll get his memories back at all,” the doctor sighs. “You can try to jog his memory, but there’s a potential risk in doing so; you’d be writing new memories in and forcing him to believe that as reality. It’s quite easy to take advantage of.”
You nod, though you’re still trying to wrap your head around everything.
“The best thing you can do is give him time,” she says. “I understand this is hard for you, but I will also suggest consider making new memories with him.”
You nod again, this time more understandingly.
“When can he be discharged?”
“I’d like to keep an eye on him for a few more days, but after that, he’s home free. Also, I don’t know if this will help you feel better, but some patients can end up getting their memories with a single trigger and everything is fine.”
“Thank you,” you say to the doctor, sighing softly to yourself.
“We have to run some more tests on the patient, but please keep an open mind,” she says. “He’ll be back home before you know it.”
You ride the train back to your shared apartment, feeling numb all over. You’re happy he’s finally awake, but he doesn’t remember you. He doesn’t remember the memories you’ve made together and the idea that he never will twists your stomach into a knot, bringing tears to your eyes.
You want him to remember and you’ll do whatever it takes for him to do so.
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lifesobeautiful · 5 years
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5 Daily Habits That Will Make You A More Positive and Happy Person
As we grow older and gain more wisdom through the years, we realize that money or popularity by themselves do not spell success. Rather, it is the presence of happiness in our lives that makes it all worthwhile. We may be the wealthiest person on our street but if we’re miserable, we are far from successful.
The problem most of us face is getting caught up in the daily grind of life and becoming worn out, overworked, and over-caffeinated. Of course, with all of life’s little and big stresses come the tendency to blame, criticize, and generally take a negative outlook on life.
And when we are too negative, there’s no way we can get near our fullest potential or even just be close to it. Generally speaking, negativity sucks the life from us and everyone around us.
Attitude is a decision
Everything that happens in our lives is just a series of events. It’s how we react to these events that shape how our lives turn out. We can choose to react positively or negatively to anything that happens to us.
Think about the following example:
We’re driving down the highway when we notice a car tailgating us. As we speed up, it speeds up as well. Now, most of us get angry and belligerent when this happens and will probably use a certain hand gesture when they eventually pass us.
This will usually put us in a sour mood and we might even let this episode ruin our entire day.
Being tailgated is not a positive event in and of itself but if we choose to look at it from a different viewpoint, it can be.
What if we instead chose to believe that the person tailgating us had a pregnant woman in the vehicle who was about to give birth and needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible? Or what if it was a father of a 6-year old girl who was rushing to see her because she had a tragic accident at school?
Would we still be upset at them? I think not. Instead, we would get out of their way as quickly as possible and be glad to do it.
This mentality can be used for virtually any event in our lives. Think about the power behind this for a moment.
We can literally change our outlook on life by choosing to view things in a positive light. And do you think this will lead to us being happier? Of course.
But getting to the point where we can shift our mindset from negative emotions like fear, anger, and frustration to positive ones like forgiveness and empathy takes time and takes work.
But it can be done through changing our habits.
5 Daily Habits That Can Make Us More Positive and Happy People
Reduce negativity
This is much easier said than done because negativity is literally everywhere. The evening news, reality T.V. shows, violent movies, aggressive drivers, coworkers complaining, listening to people waiting in line at Walmart.
The list goes on and on.
So, how do we reduce these things which are a large part of most people’s lives? Simple. Take a break from them.
Each day, we simply remove one negative influence from our daily routine.
Turn off the T.V. early, avoid talking to your friend who only wants to complain about their spouse or walk to the store instead of driving.
Give unconditionally
This can be one of the most powerful and emotionally uplifting things one person can do for another.
Consider the following actions:
Giving a homeless man your last $10 dollars because he needs it more than you do. Letting a person cut in front of you in line at the supermarket because they are clearly having a rough day. Or think about carrying an elderly person’s bags to his car because you see them struggling. Those are all examples of unconditional giving.
We should ask ourselves to give this way at least once each day and no doubt we will find our lives improving dramatically.
Exercise
As much as we hear it already, exercise, particularly vigorous exercise, really is a cure all. Getting those muscles pumping and oxygen working through the body does wonders for our emotional and physical health.
If you aren’t exercising right now, you need to start. Exercise can be in the form of walking, jogging, cross training or playing tennis. The key is to start moving your body.
You will feel better and look better and when those things happen. Plus, you will feel more confident, positive, and happy. That’s just a plain and simple fact.
Talk to strangers
Many of us walk around leery of other people. We form snap judgments about them and tend to avoid direct eye contact and/or conversation. Why? Because our negative society has taught us not to trust people.
But the reality is that 99% of the people we see every day are good, decent people.
So, the next time you’re on an elevator with a stranger, say hello, and ask them how they are. Do it sincerely.
When you’re waiting in line at the grocery store, you can strike up a conversation with the person behind you. You’ll be amazed at how your whole being will change when you do this.
Smile
This sounds very cliché, but it’s so true. Most of us find it hard to form a sincere smile upon making eye contact with someone. Maybe we give a quick nod or “hello”, but there is a great deal of power in offering a genuine smile.
We just may make someone’s day and will surely feel better ourselves as well. Making someone happier, even if it’s temporary, will have a profound effect on our own happiness.
Make it a point to do this with at least five people each day.
Simple Versus Easy Decisions
Choosing to be positive is a simple decision, but it’s not easy. Most of us have many bad habits that make it difficult to be positive during stressful or difficult times.
We must form new habits to break the old ones and the only way to do this is a step at a time.
Trying to drop all of our old habits at once is a recipe for failure. Instead, try adopting a new positive habit each week.
Eventually, we will have many positive daily habits that will change the way we look at the world and will ultimately alter how happy we are.
Written by Steve Roy, a contributing writer for DevelopGoodHabits.com, a site dedicated to helping you eliminate bad habits, creating better ones and making major life changes. To learn more, check out the free report 77 Good Habits to Live a Better Life.
The post 5 Daily Habits That Will Make You A More Positive and Happy Person appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
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