#a boyfriend for hire

[werewolfetone]

They should rerelease derry girls but sneak a multi hour documentary about the siege of derry in the middle of 1 of the seasons with a normal title + thumbnail + some kind of introductory Situation the characters before it no-warning cuts to the documentary + an eventual resolution of the plot from the beginning at the end and all as though it were a normal episode, save for the fact that they've inserted like four hours of people talking about the glorious revolution in the middle of it, and just not tell anyone. & go "what random documentary about the siege of derry" whenever anyone asks about it. this would not help anyone and would probably make a lot of people very angry but they should do it nonetheless

#they should cut michelle trying to get a boyfriend off w/ a voiceover about the stuart line of succession. channel 4 hire me #this is from the drafts btw. I do not remember writing this post #derry girls #jory.txt

[cheezyratz]

In the sequel to tmntmm I want Casey and April to be infamous together

like we know from 1987 as well as the other tmnt’s (don’t they growl at each other in 2012’s tmnt? Honestly if you and your bestie don’t growl are y’all even friends!? 🙄/j) that Casey’s in that he and raph bond over their aggression/how it’s expressed

so anyway tmntmm April is know/formerly known as April o’puke right? well what is tmntmm Casey is know for a fight he got into that got like super bad and everyone just sort of avoids him

but there’s like a sports thing going on and that’s where casey and raph meet and start talking about sports (like football, hockey, sports in that intensity) and April is like “oh? Casey? Yeah he’s uh… cool…” cause while she might be a little scared of him she doesn’t wanna let her own judgements get in the way of rapid friendship

eventually Casey and April have a heart to heart about being an outcast and they become friends

Also Casey has a trans pride pin

#Seth rogan should hire me fr /j #Tmnt #tmntmm #tmnt mutant mayhem #raphael #april o’neil #casey jones #rasey #Boyfriends that spar together stay together <3

[its-a-beautful-day]

A donation doodle for Bea! Thank you so much for supporting me and helping raise funds to help get me back on my feet 💖

Request a doodle by donating +$10 here!

#star's art #my art #artist on tumblr #bug art #banana slug #But like from memory #Fruity #nature illustration #If you don't leave a prompt I'll just doodle whatever I'm feeling in the moment #artist on kofi #ko fi support #For those who haven't seen my donation post #I'm currently homeless after having left my abusive ex boyfriend. He got the roommates to all sign the lease without me #I lost the EPO against him because his parents hired a lawyer #And now they won't give me my cat #Donation doodle

[miutonium]

"We look cute together aren't we?" ❤️

This suppose to be a Valentine's day art but like I'm so late lol _(:3」∠)_ Anyway timelapse undercut :3

Jsyk this was such a pain for me to record because I have to export the timelapse, clear it from my canvas and then restart timelapse again and then attach all of the clips all by myself because my tablet can't handle the big file size (I'm talking like 200+mb without the timelapse) _(:3」∠)_

#initially I wanted to draw Jack with his hair down but like its so hard for me to draw him with his hair down 😔 #also I am obsessed with Jack and his messy bun so you will see me be annoying about his messy bun aksjwlaialap #also Siobhán has bangs woahhh what do you guys think???? #no im not changing her design lol but i like the idea of changing her hairstyles #i couldnt do that to Chloe so im going to experiment with Siobhán instead heehee #anyway i hope you guys like the timelapse ;w; im sure some of you guys wonder how I do my work from base to finish #and yes i am taking questions about my render process if anyone's interested :3 #asukart #selfshipping community #selfship #selfshipping #selfship community #selfship art #self insert oc #self insert community #self insert art #si x canon #oc x canon #samurai jack #office boyfriend for hire #valentine's art

[rarepears]

Modern China misunderstandings - ft. SVSSS cast

Luo Binghe: waiting at the airport to pick up his boyfriend of 5 years. They've been in a long distance relationship for the 5 years.

Shen Yuan: disembarking from the airplane, looking for the bodyguard his dage has foisted onto him

Shen Jiu: Trying to ditch that stalker who doesn't understand that no means no and holy fuck we are NOT in a relationship, you stalker!

Aka that rom-com where Shen Yuan thinks Luo Binghe is the new bodyguard, Luo Binghe is wondering when his boyfriend mellowed out and gotten cuter (and a name change?), and poor Ming Fan the bodyguard still can't find his new charge.

[Read more in the #in which luo binghe mistakens shen yuan to be boyfriend and shen yuan thinks luo binghe is the bodyguard his brother hired for him au]

#svsss #scumbag self saving system #svsss ideas #svsss au #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #pidw #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #in which luo binghe mistakens shen yuan to be boyfriend and shen yuan thinks luo binghe is the bodyguard his brother hired for him au

[skulleroskeleton]

The FNF mods Gametoons was scared to do /j

#friday night funkin #fnf #gametoons #sonic the hedgehog #sonic for hire #dorkly #lowbrow studios #dave and bambi #player gametoons #sonic #bambi dnb #boyfriend fnf #dorkly sonic

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

The chaos emeralds only becoming a thing in boom universe because eggman wants to propose to stone and only the best gemstone will do

#hinacu sonic #stobotnik #sonic boom #eggman #agent stone #eggman googling: what is the most expensive gemstone #google: emeralds are more expensive than diamonds #eggman googling: what is the most expenisve emerald #google: legend says the most expensive emerald to ever exist was a set called the ''chaos emeralds''. archeologists and amateur treasure #hunters have been searching for centuries. the evidence for their existance outside the stories is dubious #their estimated value ranges from $xxxxxxxxx-$xxxxxxxxxxx #eggman: well they're about to be found because im gonna give one to my boyfriend #sticks is a conspiracy theorist right? maybe she's got some info on them #now does he go get them himself or does he hire someone (say famous thief rouge the bat) to get it for him

[pokemonruby]

anyways watch link click. i'm serious. drop whatever you're doing and watch link click, you won't be disappointed.

#my boyfriend is also converting people in my stead so i think they ought to just hire me as their official ambassador at this point #WATCH LINK CLICK. NOW. BRAINWASHES YOU TO WATCH LINK CLICK #riley rambles

[jabberwockprince]

modern otome games dont do it for me anymore bc even though some of them let you pick pronouns/gender, theyre still heavily written for women (which is fair, its OTOME game for a reason, i stopped being their target demographic years ago) who specifically love to be dominated and/or degrated to different degrees, most of the time being seduced/whisked away lowkey against their will, which leads me to believe modern otome are the equivalent of those books for sexually repressed wives

#thinking abt the old otome i used to play #that was the wildest fucking scenarios ever #like #oh yeah youre the sultan's new adopted daughter #you can now bang his other adopted sons. who are extremely hot and into you #or hey. youre cinderella #straight up cinderella. pick a prince to marry and avoid some royal scandal and dabble in the world of politics #to avoid waging war against the other kingdoms #or hey. you had a car accident years ago and the ptsd makes you unable to sleep at night #its been like 10 years so your bestie recommends you hire a sleeping boyfriend who just helps you sleep #so its some guy counting sheep to you and finding out about your repressed trauma and coping mechanisms and helping you thru it #or hey #a star fell from the sky #thats a guy! he says hes your boyfriend! #the gods sent him to learn to be human so he doesn't become a shitty god when he grows up #OR NEKOMIMIS AVOID BEING HUNT DOWN BY POACHERS AND HIDE IN YOUR HOUSE #like theyre all wild but softer than whatever is happening nowadays #like with what in hell is bad. or obey me. or all those other specific demon otomes #like. there was one abt dating the reaper. an angel. or a demon. and in their routes theyre saving you from the other two #but you genuinely got to know them to such a personal degree it stopped being an otome at points like #what do you mean the reaper has abandoned the concept of friendship bc everything he touches dies #so hes torn between killing you to continue this cycle or saving you to prove hes more than a bringer of death #now its just #horny.... or the MC is useless.......

[crpingdeath]

i got a job at a local bakery. love on planet earth.

#it’s french and everything is pink + it’s a bar so i get to be a bartender. kinda. #i love how it took a month of working in the medical field to completely alter my brain chemistry to the point that all i can deal with is #being in a pretty pink building with alcohol and pastries. and i feel lucky that i got hired so quickly. #also i’m talking to my high school boyfriend again. the one who tortured my most recent ex. which is so fucking funny now. #life is weird man.

[shy-sapphic-ace]

I'm trying to write this story about a noir-type detective and I'm just finding it so difficult?? Like not even for plot or whatever, I think I'm okay with that, but I'm trying so hard to make my detective guy all angsty and broody and dark, like oooh he's so tortured and sad but he handles it like a Man(TM), that kinda stuff, but every time I make him interact with anyone he just ends up being super polite and friendly. He calls everyone Mr. and Miss and old people Sir or Ma'am. Like, earlier I was just writing and the words were coming along well and when I reread it he was talking about this restaurant he likes because "the tea reminds me of how my grandma used to make it :)" It really shows that I have never actually written angst in my life.

#and before you ask. yes he is gay #His (not yet) boyfriend is called Harry Angel and he's the brother of the first case's victim where she (his sister) received a death threa #and Harry hired Jack (my detective) to find out who #and then they stayed close even after the case and Jack was always calling Harry “Mr. Angel” but Harry asked him to drop the “Mr.” #cause it felt too formal. So then Jack starts calling him just “Angel” and Harry gets super shy about it (but he likes it). #I'm pulling a Crowley there aha #And Harry's sister is a lesbian and she totally ships it #BUT perhaps I might be able to redeem my noir angst-writing because I will later introduce another character #who is a rival detective and perhaps an ex of Jack's?? #And maybe he's super serious and broody and he tells Jack “You've always been too soft Lovejoy.” (that's Jack's last name) #Soo maybe he can be my angsty detective character. And Jack can keep on being nice to old ladies and holding open doors for his boyfriend. #writing #just random rabmling #my apologies if you had to read through all these tags

[miutonium]

I left this on the back burner for months since I got busy with school but I finally finish it a few days ago hhh I almost forgot how I render things actually but I'm glad I like to document everything and that includes how I render stuff and it was such a lifesaver for me 🤧

This is suppose to be Jack and Siobhán in Fall clothes since I realized I never gave both of them the fashion treatment like I always do hhh I should make them wear other clothes more often. I was thinking of them going on a shopping totally as friends wink wonk 👁👄👁

Anyway full image undercut heehee

Personally I like the one without the BG and light effects, maybe these days I like simple things but both looks fine anyway hhh now back to work _(:3」∠)_

#its been months but I still cant think of how they ended up dating #so for now these two dorks will remain as friends with both of them having very not friendly feelings towards each other #one day i will make these two dorks hold hands in a very not platonic ways #asukart #selfship #selfshipping #selfshipping community #selfship community #selfship art #self insert oc #self insert community #self insert art #oc x canon #si x canon #samurai jack #office boyfriend for hire

[rarepears]

In the SY and LB bodyguard scenario, just imagine the angsty potential when SY finds out that the person he thought he had a real connection with and was really starting to love thought that he was the cousin he’s constantly been compared to his entire life. just imagine!

Shen Yuan: So obviously I'm the cannon fodder in my protagonist cousin's story... or maybe I'm the evil second FL, the foil and rip off edition of the main FL, trying to steal my cousin's boyfriend?

Shang Qinghua: Bro, why do you keep trying to reframe your gay relationships as a hetero FL-ML situation?

Shen Yuan: I'm not gay. Just Luo Binghe-sexual.

Shang Qinghua: Press x to doubt.

[Read more in the #in which luo binghe mistakens shen yuan to be boyfriend and shen yuan thinks luo binghe is the bodyguard his brother hired for him au]

#svsss #scumbag self saving system #svsss ideas #svsss au #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #pidw #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #in which luo binghe mistakens shen yuan to be boyfriend and shen yuan thinks luo binghe is the bodyguard his brother hired for him au

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: alright!.... tonight I'm heading out for my mission to get a power source for the bunkers...

Warabi: and I'm coming too!!

Neta:.........yep..... I don't know why they allowed you to come but you were coming with me as well. The mission is only going to take around 5 days to complete and-

Mizole: 5 days? Took y'all two to steal our power source. Why does it take longer to get a new one?

Neta: ......... Because we actually have to find the power source okay. The great zapfish was right there it was easy to get. It's really tedious, we go to their natural habitat, and track it through sonar..... And we actually have to get it..... Sedated and then transfer it to-

Mizole: why don't you take the zapfish we already have to the underground You stole it before it. At this point just take it. Give us a new zapfish?

Neta: it's too big... When we first took it we had no idea where we were going to fucking put it.. We need something smaller

Candie: why do we need to get your hand me downs? What surface dwellers get to have a new shiny zapfish with faster power while we get the crappy old one that won't even last another 100 years..

Mizole: I didn't mean it like that! I thought it would be like a little bit easier.... fuck you I have nothing to explain to you!

Neta: alright!! We're going out for five days...... ikkan is taking my place.....so be nice to him, If not you're fired. especially you mizole..... Mahi should never have hired you

Mahi: he's the perfect employee... [Kiss]

Mizole:hehe yeah am fine.... at least I got a proper interview. ikkan just got the job cuz he you're SooOuuULmAaatE.

Neta: ......... Why are you like this?...........ugh.... any questions? Yes Candie?

Candie: is this mission dangerous?

Neta: if it was Warabi wouldn't be going

Warabi: hey!

Neta: anyway. Don't burn down my store.... keep it clean.... Keep it afloat.... Mahi ....... You know what you're doing

Mahi: Yeah yeah I got it boss

Warabi: yeah! You guys better behave while we're out!

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: [kisskiss] be safe [kisskisskiss] be nice to the other soldiers [kiss]Including the inkling ones [kisskiss] Make sure Warabi doesn't kill himself [kisskiss] and again, please be safe. Okay? I love you

Neta: yes I know ikkan....I love you too... And I'll try to be safe

Ikkan........ You look really nice in your uniform

Neta:............ Heh.....I can't wait to take it off....... when I get back maybe you can take it off for me

Ikkan: heheheh.. maybe

Warabi: ewwwww You guys are gross! Let's go Neta!!!!

Neta: alright!!! I'm coming!!! Bye ikkan [kiss]..... Bye crab cakes be good for ikkan [kiss]

Cirrina: ok Dad!

Neta: [kiss] .......Make sure cirrina studies, she has an exam this week.

Warabi: Yeah okay Mom!!....... Yes, I'll be safe!........Dad! Come on. I'm not going to die!........Okay yeah I know. Love you too. Bye guys.............I'm so excited! We're actually going to catch a great zapfish!

Neta: It's actually an eel... And I'm telling you right now this is going to be very boring.

Warabi: what!? No way you're lying

Neta: Yeah it is. All we're going to do is sit on a dumb boat.... catching a damn eels....... Where's my lighter?

Warabi: You might see some of your old Splatoon buddies......*gasp* you get to make friends with Inkling soldiers

Neta:................ We're here..........

Warabi: this is going to be so cool!!!

_______________________________________________

Warabi: I'm bored as fuck.... ...

Neta: Yeah I gave my old charger to my daughter...... They gave me this new one. Honestly it feels like a downgrade..... Any of you guys got a lighter?

Inkling soldier: yeah I got you buddy. They don't make weapons like they used to back in the day.. hahahah.... They gave me a brand new splatling. The rotary was great but the firing rate was terrible. The ink tank held way less than my old one and yet somehow It weighed the same!

Octoling soldiers: That's because they rely too much on branding crap! The shit they gave us was made for little kids for the little turf war battles..... Give me a cig........*huff*.... Do we even need weapons at this point?

Neta: You never know. Warabi check the sonar!! Did we find anything?. Also, bring a pack of cards off the table

Warabi: There's nothing yet. Here........*sigh*.......*cough* *cough* do you all really need to smoke here we're inside!

Inkling soldiers: sorry sweetheart, you can go outside if You're so sensitive............ So..... Imma put down 100 gs if I win I keep it if I lose one of you suckers can have it

Warabi: .............. Neta.......

Neta:Just give me a second. I'm going to put down 400 gs.. Warabi come here..... ....... What's bothering you?

Warabi:. This mission is fucking boring and everyone here are dicks.

Neta: .... Really? they seem pretty cool to me

Warabi: Yeah they're pretty cool to you because they treat you with respect..... They treat me like........ Like how you used to treat me.

Neta: Warabi......*sigh*.......... Listen these guys are going to be a little rough around the edges you know?..... They didn't grow up in nice places and when they see someone like you....... ugh...... They don't really see you as kin..

Warabi: so you're just going to let them treat me like this!

Neta: Warabi calm down!!! You just need to assert yourself and not let them treat you this way. Let the folks get to know you and they'll warm up. The reason why I stopped hating you is because I actually got to know you andtherapy but that's besides the point...... Next time they say something to you say something back. you'll earn their respect in time.......You want to play Shanghai poker??

Warabi: mmmmmmm.... I'm going to sit out here till the smoke clears....

Neta: ok..... Take my advice right? Don't let them get to you....... They're like me, scary when you first meet them but will crumble the minute something spooks them.. hehehe...

Inkling Soldier: ay stretch!! You playing or what?!

Neta: shove it up your ass!!! I'm playing!! See not so hard.

Warabi:...................

_______________________________________________

superior: alright men!

Inkling soldier: some of us aren't men asshole!!

Superior: Yeah yeah cry about it !! Unfortunately we do not have enough beds!

All Soldiers: * mumbling*....*Complaining*....

Superior: SHUT UP!! Some of you are going to have to share beds I don't care what you do....hehe...Just make sure the lights are off.......... welp...... night

Neta: well.... I guess we have to share a bed.... I usually take the right side but the beds are twin size so I don't really think it matters

Warab:.....*sigh*

_______________________________________________

Soldiers:.........*SNORING*........*SNORING*

Warabi:..... This sucks...

Neta: ......*snoring*..........mmmmm.. ikky....... Why so far away... Come here... Hehehmm.............*snoring*

Warabi: awww...he thinks I'm ikkan...heheh maybe it's not so bad.

Mahi was barely in this episode. *Sad face* Oh well @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

#neta and Warabi adventure yay #I not going to name any of the soldiers I thought about it but no #Neta is making friends!! friends his age he doesn't have to hangout with little tweps who call him old man #he smokes even though he said he'd stop #mahi hired their boyfriend without their boss's knowledge #but that sucks for mizole because neta gets to tell him what to do #Neta is a chronic cuddler he has to hold something when sleeping #uh-oh neta is in a familiar environment from his past hope this doesn't do anything to him #It's not. Probably. no I don't know maybe we'll see

[cerbreus]

#asking off for vacation is so nervewracking #i already asked off and got the ok from my boss but that was before i had set dates #gave the 1 month out update today n it SHOULD be ok because it's already ok'd #and they'll have enough time for me to get tasks done early and i'll have access to my computer for the last week for emergency stuff #but i can't help but be worried they might after working there for 3 yrs be like 'ah wait nvm about the time off whenever policy' #because i have Anxiety and life has been very very unpredictable lately #really doesn't help that i'm basically the solo fucking developer there now bc they haven't had time to hire a new dev #but i'm JUST AN ARTIST.... #basically when i leave for vacation nobody will be able to push builds which is. scary. #anyway!!!!!!! #once that monday meeting is done and i know the plan it's gonna be a relief #i'll just be able to finish all my little planning things and look forward to my nice 3 long vacation with my boyfriend i love very much #personal stuff