#When Medicine Got it Wrong

[lloydfrontera]

i do think rakiel doesn't have a lot of room to talk about people being weirdly possessive of him when it was him that told damian right to his face that he couldn't sacrifice himself for rakiel because he was rakiel's escort and didn't he know that meant he couldn't die without rakiel's permission. that his death was not his to decide it was rakiel's and that he wasn't giving him the freedom to sacrifice his life like this.

like i understand that this was rakiel grasping at whatever straws he could to stop damian from doing something dumb like, y'know, put rakiel's wellbeing over his own life and all that, but i am obsessed with the way he chose to frame it.

just. the possessiveness of him saying damian's death, damian's life, was not his to do with as he wished to because it was his. damian is his and rakiel wasn't giving him up like that. not for the world and certainly not for himself. it just. it gets to me <3

#i talk a lot <3 #cpsm #crown prince sells medicine #cpsm spoilers #rakiel magentano #damian cayenne #terminal devotion #ch 549 #i love when love is overwhelming and all encompassing and devours everything it holds dear because the idea of losing it is unthinkable #also i just find it really funny when rakiel is a feral little guy #i love when you see him being so competent and put together and then you take a closer look and realize #'oh he's got something Wrong with him'

[gayleafpool]

i love the squirrelflight is a scourge reincarnation au but also consider. leafpool scourge reincarnation au

#i just think the irony would be interesting cuz the books tell us that scourge’s ultimate weakness is his lack of faith in starclan #which means he only gets one life while firestar has nine which allows firestar 2 come back and kill him #but then you’ve got leafpool. medicine cat + literallt chosen to give birth to cats who are more powerful than gods and are supposed to save #everyone #gods little princess except somehow they still manage to be her undoing #bc everything that goes wrong in her life can be traced back to starclan and how they lied to her and failed her and set her up #and even when she dies they try to fuck her over even more and send her to hell #so like in the end it’s funny bc starclan is their weakness and undoing all over again #just in the complete opposite way

[daz4i]

i hate you people who treat mental illness as something scary i hate you people who act like every asylum is haunted i hate you people who stick their nose into mentally ill people’s lives and creation i hate you people who treat the mentally ill as less human i hate you people who treat the mentally ill as specimen to be watched or a form of entertainment or horror i hate you ableists i hate you

#the side effect of being angry over one thing is that now i'm angry at everything i run into fr. #a video that got into the history of asylums in the us. mentioning how today the situation is good....... uuuuuuh #don't think i ever met any person who had a positive experience in a mental hospital or better than when they came in. myself included #really i mostly just hear abt people saying they were traumatized or getting misdiagnosed and therefore a lacking/wrong treatment #again. myself included. i'm still pissed off over it years later lol #then again who knows abt how it is in the us (he says after talking to people from the us who shared similar experiences) #it's almost as if stripping mentally ill people of their freedom and shoving medicine down their throat and taking away even more of their - #- rights for not behaving perfectly or even tying them up or electrocuting them ''for their safety'' is not a good course of action :) #man i feel like i need to tw the shit out of this so uh #ableism // #medical abuse // #??? idk is that even a tag???? #lmk pls i don't wanna accidentally trigger anyone

[loadsofcats]

Hate hate hate digitalisation hate only being able to pay with credit cards hate touchscreens instead of people hate cashierless shops hate how ai is causing less jobs and less privacy and hate generated art and generated stories and aaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhh

#you cant even pay for parking with coins #your phone has GOT to have everything and you always need to be reachable and marketable #not to sound like a conspiracy theorist or an avatar of the web but you are being “controlled” #i feel like most of the time it isn’t even intentional #but if you pay with cash and the majority of people just pay with credit cards cash is eventually gonna go out of use #this is just an example i have nothing against people who prefer credit cards #i don’t like ai but simply because i think people are not to be trusted with it #i mean come on touchscreens are such a “new” thing we’re still getting used to themsomewhere #we are going too fast for this #and no sometimes you don’t need to have everything at hand’s reach #the world needs to chill (literally and metaphorically; excuse the pun) #i just feel like everything is pushing us towards developing and developing and developing but i feel like that’s not what we need #not constantly at least #i know development would get us somewhere but there is nothing wrong in slowing down a bit #development in medicine is good and i’m not counting it in here but rather #the “fake” as one might call it development when #everyone goes “oh you MUST have this new thing how did you even live without it” #capitalistic development seems like a good description #we will all die in the end #i will be worm food one day. We all will #what we don’t accomplish someone else will #they can just… slow down a little #i mean this in the way that it seems like we’re being sold the image that everyone needs to always have everything and it must be RIGHT NOW #people have forgotten how to wait. Me unfortunately and disappointedly included #anyway #vent #also rant in tags #it talks

[loveandlucky]

X

#ok rant moment #so for years now i have struggled with excessive and disturbing nightmares and i wake up often during the night #a month ago i finally decided enough was enough and i went to my doctor about it #i was scared hed tell me i was just wating the wrong thing or having too much caffeine #that i wouldnt be believed #but he was instantly so kind and cared about the issue and didnt blame it on me #he said with what i was describing and how it happens every night no matter what #as well as me confirming i had multiple accounts of trauma and chronic depression and anxiety that i go to dbt therapy for #that these were ptsd induced nightmares and my fight or flight system is not turning off even when i sleep #which causes vivid dreams and feelings of high anxiety causing nightmares and spiking my blood pressure enough to wake me often #i felt...so validated #he gave me a medicine that helps with them which i didnt even know existed #anyway i was telling my mom and aunt about it this weekend #just about my sleep problems and how i got meds #and they were just saying how they thought i just vape too much or drink too much caffeine #i was upset by this but i let it go. #they just wont understand and any time i bring up anything about my trauma to my mom she doesnt wanna hear it or believe it #which is really shitty but i guess ive accepted it #anyway ive been doing 1mg per night for 3 days and its helped a little but im excited to move on to 2mg tonight bc thats what the dosage #schedule is #ive been quiet about this problem that i thought was normal for so long and i cant say how good it feels to at least be validated and #helped by my doctor #thanks for listening wheee #♡♡♡

[n3ongold3n]

Guess who decided to eat half a liquid treat package after dinner (and regular vet opening hours 🙃)...

#our cat walter #he is having Regrets now but he would do it again immediately i'm sure #poor guy is feeling very ill after the vomiting medicine he got (luckily everything came out) #and i juuust got him to rest when maurice attacked him because he smelled wrong 😭 #so now we have to wrangle 3 cats who can't really see each other yet :') #we got our third cat as company for maurice this week and she is still in behavioural quarantine before formal introductions #eclipse is very sweet - she deserves a good arrival

[cinnabeat]

anyways i was speaking to a friend the other day (yesterday????) and have come to the realization that the year before graduation curse has struck me again

#i. in ALL my school years. have mever had a good hear before graduation #fourth grade? terrible. i got forcibly introduced to social situations i had to navigate that i didnt understand nor care abt #AND had the worst teacher in my life who genuienly hated me personally #seventh grade? crash course into bullying and also learning to Be A Person #would not recommend #eleventh grade? gun to my head i could not tell you anything meaningful that happened to me that year beyond having a breakdown in the girls #bathroom bc there was something incredibly wrong with me and school was no longer easy (adhd my beloved) #AND also new social situations AGAIN and being forcibly befriended with people that in hindsight i didnt actually like very much #AND the stress of college and sats and ap tests and acts and everything and trying to figure out what kind of future i envisioned for myself #when i had literally never thought abt my future beyond what classes i take next school year #this year? i dont know what the fuck is happening but it is perhaps a combination of the covid lockdowns and having like. zero friends. and #also again trying to figure out what future i envision myself that is Not working a retail job for the rest of my life bc i kind of #cant care less #now i am not naive enough to believe medicine would fix me #however i think adhd meds would in fact fix me #i dont think im experiencing shrimp emotions #i think im experiencing like. amoeba emotions #or like. the ant that for one brief second understood what it is like to be a human #and then is forever left with the haunting feeling of wrongness #otherwise known as cosmic horror. or like worm emotions idk #michi tag #anyways. its five am god help me

[coridallasmultipass]

PSA: I just read a fic where a dildo goes right from ass to pussy with only a quick wipe. DON'T EVER FUCKING DO THAT. It needs a condom or full wash if you're going from ass to pussy. Otherwise, you risk a nasty infection. Ass germs have NO PLACE in a vagina.

I just made up a shitty rhyme for this on the spot (I'm tired okay it's not the best):

PUSSY TO ASS, PASS THE CLASS.

BUTT TO CLAM, FLUNK THE EXAM.

Go forth and never forget what direction is forbidden, now that you have this rhyme implanted into your brain for all eternity. You will never make this mistake.

#disclaimer i am neither legally a teacher not medical doctor #but this is 101 and transcends legal requirements #go ahead ask ur doctor or health class teacher tho thats probably a good idea to get multiple sources involved #tumblr will probably nuke this post tho bc i said adult words but idc if even one person sees it my mission will be a success #my memetic cognitohazard rhyme will have a chance to break containment for a good cause #Cori.exe #Post.exe #ShitPost.exe #(literal shit post tho) #sorry for not tagging shit but if i say an adult word on the tags then itll definitely be ... taken care of ... mobster style #and no one will see it if i use correct terminology im already risking too much to speak plainly in the post #seriously tho infections down there are miserable especially if ur dfab trans and then have to use a treatment method #it caused me serious dysphoria when i got an infection and had to insert medicine i was panicking and crying #dont fucking do the wrong direction

[korattata]

i wish tumblr would let me put 2 videos in one post so i could post a comparison of how Chicory was acting normal and then 48 hours later was acting. not okay.

mostly so i could just point at it and go 'why are rats like this'

#thankfully she is doing better after i have given her a few doses of some of kyle's medicine #because. the way she was acting weird. makes me think it's probably also a pituitary tumor like he had :/ #i know i'm being that annoying person that vets hate by diagnosing my pets myself #but when you have had 27 rats and your vet isn't able to see your rat until like 5 days later anyway #i think you should be allowed to do this. it took her 48 hours to go from completely fine to wobbly and lethargic #i can't just wait 120 more hours to hear what's actually wrong. she'd probably just be dead by then. #i haven't given her any of the cabergoline yet because i wanted to be sure she would actually improve with the pred #therefore making it more likely that i am correct on that being what's wrong. but i'm gonna try to give the last pill of kyle's to her #tomorrow morning. i don't have the good stuff that he would take it with tho so i hope she is much less pickly lol. #either way based on how long it took Kyle to show symptoms > when he got to the vet #Chicory. should hopefully. be okay. not sure what i'll do if she's not tbh!!!!!!!!!! #like ffs sakes couldn't you guys have at least waited a whole month. it's not even been a month since Kyle. #new rat ramblings #*new creative post tag here*

[useful-boy]

Maybe when I've had enough manager paychecks I can go get my skin disease reevaluated because my current method of um being completely out of the pill I'm supposed to take daily and only relying on the topical lotion once things start getting bad again is just not fucking cutting it gamers

#speaking of cutting #i have the easiest time purging the right side of my body because everything comes to the surface a lot more readily #you can See it there not just in shape but in appearance there. my skin is thinner and it makes it easy to handle when its too much #the left side of my body fucking hates me. everything on that side is so Painful but its also so deep in my skin that id have to get #pretty far in there to be able to cut out anything and my pain tolerance just cant handle that #it hurts so badly i hate my stupid ugly disease ridden body i wish i were dead #sorry i had emotions there i try not to do that #vent #also i got distracted but. idk. it just sucked because even when i Did have all my pills and took them daily it felt like it just. #didnt actually Do anything for me because i would still get nasty flare ups #so like what is the point in taking this medicine if its still gonna happen. is it doing anything at all. am i on the wrong meds #did i get misdiagnosed again and actually have a completely different albeit similar problem to what i thought i had #i just hate having this body man. it sucks. #and i hate how much money it costs to even get a fucking exam to see what the issue is. not to mention the treatment itself #i hate america

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 326

Adjective: Dysfunctional

Noun: Elixir

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Dysfunctional: not operating normally or properly; deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad

Elixir: a magical or medicinal potion; a preparation supposedly able to change metals into gold, sought by alchemists; a particular type of medicinal solution

#im not quite as late as i have been lately #but late is late nonetheless #and all due to that dreaded accidentally falling asleep #i was so tired i actually fell asleep on the couch again #my girlfriend and i did laundry so that was a big reason why #and we were getting stuff ready for turkey day #and ofc we spent time with my parents while we were at my house #when we got home tho we watched more of the great british baking show #so that was nice #as for the prompt i like that there are so many possibilities (more than usual i feel) #and i feel that stems mainly from the fact you can interpret each definition of both words in virtually any way #there are only about two things that are semi-concrete here #1) something has to go wrong or not how its intended to go (via 'dysfunctional') #and 2) something has to be intended for magical or medicinal or alchemical use (via 'elixir') #and that leaves a LOT up to interpretation #i love it! #thanks for reading #writing #writer #creative writing #writing prompt #writeblr #trying to be a writeblr at least

[lloydfrontera]

I read the first chapter or two of the unofficial translation and the acupuncture stuff just kinda put me off, that's too close to quackery for me to take it seriously, so I was wondering about your thoughts on it

oh. oh buddy. listen if you care about medical accuracy like,, at all,, this is definitely not the novel for you lmao

personally acupuncture is not for me, i have a strong fear of needles so the thought of anyone sticking needles into my body is terrifying, but i also feel that way about any kind of shot so i am probably not the best person to ask. as for whether it is quackery,,, maybe it's just that i'm not a native english speaker but that sounds like a loaded word lmao. i think it has to have some benefits, but definitely not to the level some attribute it. i would group it along with chiropractic (which by the way rakiel also does). useful for some people if done correctly but only if accompanied by actual medical advice lol.

plus. i think most people forget how recent most modern medicine is. for a long ass time herbal remedies, acupuncture, moxibustion, things we now consider as outdated or primitive or outright barbaric,,, well they were all that were available at the time. it was the best they could do. it wasn't that doctors and healers of that time didn't want to do better, they literally couldn't. and some of this stuff is still deeply tied to some cultures, is still respected as traditional methods of treatment. to call it quackery feels just,,,, a little icky.

now rakiel is from the modern era, but still, he's not someone who tries to scam people by offering fake miracle treatments with acupuncture or whatever. he's just offering whatever help he can with what he knows to do.

and really this is a fantasy novel. massive spoilers ahead but like. rakiel talks with his goddamn organs. he can get a diagnosis by taking people's pulse. he cured fucking covid with the help of a dragon. his own bone dragon takes x-rays by sneezing. damian uses his excess glucose to make mana blasts. medical accuracy is well behind us.

so like. i get why you could be put off by the treatments he uses, they're not very accurate and are definitely being exaggerated for the sake of the plot, but. they're not much more outlandish that everything lloyd is doing in tged lol. i think it's just that most of us are less familiar with civil engineering that we are with medicine and, uh, basic human anatomy, so we can more easily call bullshit on some of the wild plot devices ajksdka

i am very interested in your thoughts tho! please tell me if you read further and what you think of it!

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #watching period kdramas has desensitized me to a lot of unfamiliar medical treatments #i really recommend watching 'live up to your name' for some context on the way acupuncture is treated in korean culture #it doesn't go very in depth but i think it's worth watching anyway! #plus reading about the way medicine was before modern times. it gives you a new appreciation for living in the present lol. #everything that went on before a reliable and safe method of knocking people out for treatment.... harrowing stuff ajshdkja #i dunno #i'm mexican so i'm always a little wary when someone calls traditional medicine by any derogatory word. #feels too close to colonizer propaganda alsjdlkada #not that i'm saying you said anything wrong nonnie i'm just talking about my own biases! #crown prince sells medicine #cpsm

[fromevertonow]

Suzanne Collins is one of the few contemporary writers who realizes the importance of names in her stories and the significance they bear. They add so many layers to the story, additional meanings that otherwise would not have existed.

The original trilogy:

Katniss: named after a plant of which you can eat the roots. Her father taught her where to find it and told her that “as long as you can find yourself, you’ll survive” (quote may be a little bit off, but it’s from one of the early chapters in THG). Additionally, the leaves are in the shape of an arrowhead, referencing her skills with the bow which her father also taught her how to use.

Peeta: literally bread lmao. But bread is one of the basic nutritions humans need, a little bit goes a long way to keep you alive. Peeta’s presence in Katniss’s life also kept her alive, literally and figuratively—the burned bread he threw her in the flashback and their complicated relationship.

Primrose: a plant with medicinal purposes, even more significant in light of her work as a medic in Mockingjay.

Gale: literally means “strong wind” and considering that in every encounter with Katniss he’s caused some reaction, he pulls her into directions she maybe initially doesn’t want to go in. Additionally, his name also represents his determination and steadfastness in his beliefs.

TBOSAS

Lucy Gray: named after William Wordsworth’s poem “Lucy Gray” which is about the titular character of the poem who got lost during a blizzard. She literally got lost in snow. Rachel Zegler sang this poem in two parts on the original soundtrack of the movie. When Snow asked who the girl in the song is, Lucy answers that she’s a mystery, just like her.

Snow: aside from the obvious snow references, I think his name is most significant in relation to Lucy and the poem. The only one who knows what caused her disappearance is Snow. He is the reason that Lucy is gone. But her traces in the snow are still visible. He will always remember her because the memory of Lucy has manifested itself in every part of his life.

Coriolanus: named after the Roman general (and also the titular character of Shakespeare’s play), Coriolanus wanted to attack Rome and become its ruler. He was scorned and celebrated by the people, only to be later exiled from the city by them. In TBOSAS, Coriolanus is the star pupil at the Capitol’s academy but sent into exile to the districts after he won the Games with Lucy through cheating.

Volumnia: Coriolanus mother who played a part in his ascent to power. In TBOSAS, she almost serves like a mentor to Coriolanus, teaching him how to think in terms of power.

(Edit) Sejanus: a roman soldier who was betrayed by the roman emperor Tiberius, just like the future president betrayed him.

(Edit) Plinth: got this info from here, but it was too good not to include here. A plinth is a base for a statue or vase to stand on. After Sejanus’s death, all of the Plinth fortune was given to Snow for being such a good to friend him. It was this money that skyrocketed the Snow family from poverty to filthy rich. The Plinth money was the foundation upon which Snow built his power.

There are so many other names that have historical (mostly Roman and Greek) connotations—Plutarch, Seneca, Cinna—but also regular names like Trinket and Beetee bear meanings that represent the character beautifully.

Names are important. For any lover of literature or (aspiring) writers, please look closely at them. They can shape your story into something unique.

Feel free to correct me if I’ve said something wrong. I know there are many names missing, but I can only add so many examples ✊🏻😔

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #suzanne collins #literature

[oceantornadoo]

protective ex-husband!simon, implied violence/break-in

“i know! and that’s when i told her-“ you paused, your hand halfway to the keys at the bottom of your purse. your apartment door was open, a menacing sliver of darkness awaiting you. “hey, i’m going to have to call you back.” you ended the call with your friend, slowly backing away from your door. shit. you knew you locked the door when you left for work, and no one else had a copy of your key. a creeping sensation came over you, like someone was watching from within. slowly, you retreated, taking the elevator down to your apartment’s lobby as the anxiety crawled through your body. you wracked your brain, wondering if you should call the police. wondering if they would even believe you. there was only one call to make.

“come on, pick up.” you tapped your foot impatiently as your ex husband took forever to answer the phone. it was all you could do to not think about your home being violated, about a potential stalker or date gone wrong.

“‘ello?”

“si- simon, it’s me.”

“i know, lovie. that’s why i picked up.” you let out a quiet sob of relief at his voice, the bottle on your emotions starting to leak.

“what’s wrong?” his voice changed, immediately hearing your silent tears. he could always read you too well. “i don’t want to bother you but” you hiccupped. shit. “but my apartment door was open and i’m pretty sure i closed it, i usually do. i don’t know if im being silly but now im in the lobby and im just scared, simon.” there was a fumbling sound, the echoes of simon zipping up his jacket and pulling on his shoes.

“go to that cafe across the street, dove. go get yourself one of those overpriced hot chocolates. i’ll be there in 15.”

9 minutes later, your shaking hands were tapping random patterns on the cafe table, unable to raise your drink to your mouth without spilling it. your eyes were locked onto the wood grain, counting lines to distract yourself.

suddenly, a gloved hand covered yours. you looked up and there he was, your ghost in all his glory. you forgot everything for a second, forgot the past arguments and the strained silences, and flung yourself into his arms. you breathed in his comforting scent of pinewood that masked his cigarettes, a cologne you got him four years ago for christmas. your face was wet, and as he pulled you back to check you for injuries, his thumb brushed a stray tear away from your face. you didn’t even realize you were crying.

“‘s okay, baby. i’m here now. give me your keys.” you fumbled for your keys, purse strap sliding off your shoulder as your hands shook too much to keep it balanced. simon caught it gracefully, finding your keys in the same pocket you always kept them. “stay here. i’ll be back.” you nodded instinctively. only when you saw his figure retreat to your apartment building, clothed in all black like a figure of death, you realized you hadn’t told him your new apartment number.

twenty minutes passed. simon’s presence had worked like medicine as your heart rate has now dropped back down to normal, your hands stable enough to finish your drink. any other person would be worried for simon’s safety, but you knew the only person you should be concerned for was your intruder.

“you’re stayin’ with me tonight.” he was back, looking exactly the same. he wasn’t even winded. “thank you simon, but don’t be ridiculous. i can get a hotel. you live so far from my work anyways.” he approached you, crowding into your space as he leaned over you, even with a cafe table in between. “consider it payment then.” he tilted your chin up with his left hand as he hid his other one, covered with blood, in his pocket. “one way or another, you’re in my bed tonight, dove.” you gulped at that. “and i’ve got riley in the car. you wouldn’t abandon him, would you?” of course he had gotten your cat when he checked out your apartment. riley hated men, but never simon. cheeky bastard.

“you win.”

fast forward a couple of hours and you were getting ready for bed at simon’s, belly full from the meal he had made you. riley made himself at home on the living room couch, of course. “he’s in my spot.” you gestured to your cat on the couch. “wha’ d’ya mean?” your husband simon was now in sweats and sweats only, clean from the shower he had after you both got home back to his place. you pretended not to see him methodically wash blood out of his fingernails, reasoning quite easily with yourself that it was for a good cause.

“my couch for tonight.” simon moved toward you and you avoided his eyes, trying not to stare at how beautiful he still was. muscular but thick, torso adorned with scars you used to trace on sunday mornings when you both stayed in bed until the afternoon. he gripped your chin, forcing you to make eye contact. “told’ya you were in my bed tonight, dovie.” you swallowed and he watched your throat move, memories of you swallowing something else countless times rising to the surface.

“don’t be silly, simon. that would cross a line.”

“what line?” his arms were crossed now, drawing your attention to an unfamiliar tattoo right above his heart. a small dove.

“we’re not together anymore, simon.”

“you’re still my wife.”

silence. he was always like this, pushing you until you broke. he was unwilling to compromise, even on the smallest of issues. usually you’d fight him, spit fire until you lost your voice. tonight though, you were reminded of how he was the only person you were able to call, the only one committing dark sins without asking, all for your safety. instead, you threw your hands up and walked into his bedroom, mechanically stripping as you put on one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. you felt his eyes on you, burning a hole through the fabric. you were tired, so tired of this push and pull.

“what.” you whipped around, all venom. his eyes were impossibly soft, holding yours with a peaceful caress. “you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you.” your fire went out at that. “you’re just trying to get me naked.” you mumbled, looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. you watched as his body came into view, pressing your forehead against his bare skin.

“could see you in a thousand layers and you’d still be the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen, dove.” ever so slowly, your hands crept up his body to grab his shoulders and neck. he picked you up with ease, turning the lights off and tucking you both in bed. “when did you get the tattoo?” you asked in the dark.

“3 months and 12 days ago.” what would have been your 3rd year of marriage, your anniversary. you lowered your head and gave him a kiss right where the tattoo was. “can we talk about it in the morning?” you snuggled into him, that familiar scent calming you once again. “always, dove.” he kissed your forehead, smiling in the dark.

----

idk why im obsessed with the break-in and simon to the rescue trope but its fueling me lately

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley smut #simon riley wife #ghost call of duty #tornadothoughts #ex husband ghost #fluff

[sk3l3t0n444]

sometimes i feel so out of place, im a caring person (at least i like to think so) who tries so hard to do nice things for people and most of the time my parents do nice things just to rub it in my face that theyre more able bodied than me

#and btw nobody in this house is able bodied #my mom is half deaf with vertigo #my dad has diabetes and chronic pain #and they dont seem to understand that that shit is kinda a little bit genetic #not to mention i am essentially a medical “used the wrong equation got the right answer” #like mf part of the reason im disabled is cuz i got sick once and it absoluted reaked havoc on my body #like i shit you not i got sick with like the flu when i was 7 and from that i got chronic pain chronic fatigue chronic illness and more #like ive been dealing with this shit 24/7 for the past 8 years #thats over half my life #and yet i still did all sorts of shit #hell i wanted to make my dad proud once he got out of the hospital and i shoveled snow for 4 hours straight #today i wanted to prove i wasnt weak so i took my 2 dogs on a walk at the same time yeah now i have limited function of my arms and legs #reminder that you might be able bodied now but that can change real quick so be nice or else youre gonna get a taste of your own medicine

[phrogtax]

🛌

#scrolling tumblr to distract myself from the misery pit #i love being a mentally ill person with many interlocking neuroses to a point where if a bad day triggers something my entire life explodes #i am not normal! i would like some medicine please. thank you #really everything is tied to the fact that i rarely feel like i have value and am not notable in any way #i love trying so hard at things i do only to constantly fail or for no one to notice or care #i haven’t been comforted in years #i always feel like i’m doing something wrong and that something is wrong with me and there’s nothing outstanding about anything i’ve done #am i not trying hard enough? am i not doing enough? how do i become a worthwhile person #when will people be happy. when will i be happy #when will i feel like i exist #sorry for being dramatic i’m a traumatized young adult #i got a birthday present in the mail and cried