Do you ever delete anything in your delete later tag or is it all a joke?
Yes. Frequently. Normally it's just with my art reblogs, but I will comb through and delete the majority of the tag sometimes.
Gonna be real honest, the Delete Later tag is there for my mental health. I go through periods of? Reckless depression? Impulsive bad vibes? Compelled destruction? [Vague hand wave]. Anyway, I've been known to scroll through my blog with the urge to delete everything. My original coping mechanism was tearing paper, but it doesn't scratch the itch the same way a delete button could. So I made a safe space to delete things.
Sometimes I decide later that I wanted to keep the delete later item(s), but 9 times out of 10 I follow through and purge them.
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it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.
i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.
i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."
when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.
i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.
i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.
the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.
pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.
of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.
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Valhalla! Hanma and rival gang! Reader secretly hooking up as their gangs are on the brink of a literal brawl plsplsplspls
Valhalla!Hanma x Rival Gang Member!Reader
♡ NSFW, fem reader, fingering, rough sex, pet names, fucking while on the phone (w/ Kisaki), set in an au where Valhalla doesn't fight Toman and becomes a successful gang on its own ♡
note: anonnnnnn 😮💨 this idea had me gone (sorry it took me a minute I was procrastinating lol, I still have like 3 other requests to do and I have a life outside of writing so yeah 🥲)
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You were supposed to be in a gang meeting, getting briefed on the upcoming brawl between your gang and Valhalla. But you found a much better way to spend your time, and that was bent over the kitchen counter of Hanma's apartment. His long, thick fingers plunging in and out of your pussy as you came for the third time. He chuckled at the way you clenched around his fingers and bent down to whisper in your ear.
“You look so cute when you're cumming f'me bunny~”
Just as he was slipping his fingers out, ready to replace them with his dick, his phone rang. He picked it up and it was Kisaki, cursing him out for being late to their meeting.
“Yo Kisaki, I was just on my way…Just...a little preoccupied right now...”
Hanma's hand slid over your mouth to muffle your moans as he rammed into you. The squelching noises coming from your soaked cunt were very apparent over the phone. It took Kisaki a moment to register what was going on but his voice took on a disgusted tone.
“Hanma, are you serious? We're supposed to be strategizing and you're out fucking around? Literally!”
“Relax, we're gonna win anyway. Stop stressing and being a cockblock man ♡”
“Cockblock? Hanma if you don't bring your lanky ass to this meeting, I'll make sure you never fuck again.”
Hanma sighed in annoyance.
“Okay okay, I'll be there soon.”
He hung up the phone, returning all his attention to your body.
“Sorry darling, I'll have to rush a bit. Y'know how Kisaki is, plus you gotta get to your meeting too, right?”
Hanma smirked as you mumbled a response, he knew you were in no shape to go to that meeting, you were practically fucked dumbed. His hips slapped against your ass as he drilled into your cunt relentlessly. You couldn't care less about your meeting or the rest of your gang right now. All that mattered was Hanma's dick wrecking your guts.
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