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#WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK
sitizelter · 4 months
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HAPPY NEW YEAR?????
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soapiemomorphine · 1 year
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His Firsts
When he first came to
Leonardo startles. There’s a commotion but nothing registers besides white noise.
He’s dead. He knows this deep in his soul. His heart no longer beats and the floor feeling like an afterthought, as if the earth it’s self was a fleeting memory.
The afterlife is colorful. And loud.
He gets up, only for his eyes to be bombarded with green light.
His instincts tell him to assess the situation.
He appears to be in a collapsing building; there are only two people in it. And neither of them pay any attention to him despite being in there direct line of sight, only confirming his beliefs.
He is indeed dead, but his apparition is among the living.
He just wants to see his father already.
The two people are yelling at each other. They both tower a staggering six feet.
Leonardo takes a deep breath. Not that he needs the oxygen, but he needs to calm himself. He needs to get out of the fighting for your life headspace.
He needs to not think about he’s a failure. He can’t think about his brothers, oh god his brothers-
Pieces of rubble phase through his spirit. The guy with horns and goat legs runs toward the exit, while the rat looking man is furiously dodging the falling bits of the ceiling.
Leonardo squints at the rat man. He seems to be holding something, and his distress makes the hero in Leo want to help him.
Then he sees what he has in his arms.
Four turtles.
Then it clicks.
He won’t be able to move on to the afterlife, because he’s not in his dimension. He’s witnessing the origin story of another Hamato clan.
He doesn't know what compels him to follow this Spliter.
That's a lie. He wants to see his family again.
The first difference
This Splinter is different.
If you forget the fact that Leo’s hands tremble whenever this one speaks, Leo feels sorry for him.
(This first time he heard his voice, he had a breakdown. Not that anyone could see.)
They are camped in an alleyway, his arsenal of stolen clothes swaddling both him and his turtles.
Babies are hard enough on there own, but four of them? While homeless?
The babies weren’t the only ones constantly crying. This Splinter’s hair is already going grey and Leo is pretty sure it hasn’t even been a month yet.
His rat features are becoming more obvious.
Leo has the suspicion that this Splinter used to be a movie star.
Leo has seen posters and DVD covers in the trash, starring a man that shares a striking resemblance to this Splinter. Sans the ears and tail of course. Not to mention for the first couple weeks, the only outfit he had was the one this ‘Lou Jitsu’ wore.
Leo can see the headline on the newspapers that he uses as a makeshift shelter, news of a missing action star, beloved by all.
His suspicions were confirmed in one of this Splinter’s breakdowns.
Usually, the turtles are pretty compliant, but babies can only cry, and when one cries, the rest follow suit.
“ I can’t do this.” The mutant rat grips his hair in frustration at the wails of the children, “ I can’t fucking do this,”
Leo can’t do nothing but watch as both parties meltdown.
“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS!” Tears cascade down his cheeks, mirroring his young, “ FUCKING BIG MAMA, FUCKING YOKAI, FUCK, FUCK,FUCK, FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!”
His babies wail even louder. Leo just stands there useless.
The ratman freezes at the sound of a window opening, and rushes to scoop up the turtles.
Leo stays close behind.
They move to a different alleyway.
“Shush, shush, I’m sorry I’m sorry,” Splinter holds his sons close in a desperate effort to quiet their cries.
“I didn’t mean to yell, I-“ His voice breaks in his apology, “ I don’t know how to handle kids, fuck, I don’t know how to handle myself.”
“This whole time I’ve been running toward the limelight, but it always bites my in the ass, huh?” He starts to hum a Japanese lullaby.
Leonardo watches as the babies slowly fall silent.
“Guess Im a father now, huh?” Splinter let out a wet chuckle.
Leo gets the closest he’s ever gotten to this Splinter and takes a seat against the wall right next to him.
Despite his voice, and despite Leonardo’s own heavy heart at this similar yet so different image of his family, he smiles.
It’s not like anyone can see.
His first name
It’s been a month or two and he may have been wrong. About the whole no one being able to see.
The turtles, unlike him and his family are all different species.
They do not have names however, with Splinter calling them all “Little One”, or “My son,” and either addresses the one he’s holding or all of them as a whole.
But they are all different.
One is much bigger than the others, with spikes all up and down his body. He often bites the blankets and on some rare occasions, Splinters finger. The big one hardily makes a fuss though.
The same cannot be said for the smallest one. He is covered in warm colored speckles, and is half the size of his brothers. Yet he is somehow the loudest. He is constantly clinging on to someone, whether it be his brothers or Splinter.
Another one if the turtles has a softshell. Leonardo was flabbergasted at this, none of any other dimensions had a softshell turtle. He’s never even seen a wild one, let alone one as a mutant. Both Leonardo and Splinter worry the most about him.
Then there is the one who has red stripes. The one that Leonardo is almost certain can see him. He is often climbing over his brother and causes mischief, and pushes his brothers over. He’s often smiling and enjoys pulling on Splinters fur.
But what scares him is the way the red striped turtle looks at him. Not through him. At him. He looks him is the eyes, looks him up and down, and the scariest thing of all is that he reaches for him.
Leonardo doesn’t know what to do. So he keeps his distance.
He’s gotten used to the whole ghost thing, where no one could see him.
It was lonely but he was used to it after a while.
But now one of the turtles can see him.
He now looks to him when he cries, when he’s climbing on the big ones back, he smiles at him from Splinter’s lap.
It’s all very terrifying.
Especially when, he pushed one of his brother and listened when Leonardo on reflex said no.
So that’s Leo’s life now, following Splinter as he raises four nameless turtles.
That may have something to do with Splinters terrible eyesight.
Leo has the suspicion that Splinter has near-sightedness.
He can only read the news with his eyes nearly closed and millimeters away from his face. He doesn’t see the profanities on the alley walls, that make Leonardo worry, will the children learn that language?
He also is only able to tell the turtles apart once they are in his face or in his hands, “Ah!, you’re the big one!” He has to feel the turtles to differentiate them, and when they’re together he addresses them as a whole.
His suspicions are confirmed when Splinter finally loses it one July, “You’re all growing old now, how am I going to be able to tell you apart?” He grumbles and grabs his hair in frustration.
Leonardo is worried. What will Splinter do when they can walk? If only one is doing something dangerous how will be able to tell that specific turtle to stop? Leonardo feels a heavy weight in his gut at the possibilities.
He’s snapped out of it with a lound ripping sound.
In an act that is most certainly considered illegal, and probably come off as a hate crime, Splinter rips a rainbow pride flag hanging from a store front.
“HEY!” An angry voice emerges from in inside the store.
Splinter scrambles for his children as he scurries away.
Only the red-eyes child can see Leonardo following.
When the chase is seemingly over, Splinter find a different alleyway and takes a seat.
Leonardo doesn’t know what to think. Why would he steal a pride flag?
He is given the answer with Splinter ripping each stripe apart.
He accidentally makes a rip right through the yellow and green stripe and he tsks.
“Didn’t need all seven anyway,” Splinter grumbles under his breath.
He then pulls all of the turtles out of their cardboard box, awaking them from their slumber.
Leonardo takes a seat as he watches the turtles each stir and whimper. The softshell seems particularly upset and is trying to go back in the box, but to no avail.
The small one then starts whimpering as he is taken off the biggest brother.
Splinter take the red stripe and ties it like a ribbon around the big one’s neck.
“Red,” he then places him in the cardboard box.
He then grabs the smallest turtle and shushes his whimpers. He gently ties the orange stripe around his neck.
“Orange,” he places him right on top of his brother.
The red-striped one realizes the fastest way in the box is through Splinter, and he reaches for him.
“Blue,” the turtle practically scrambles to be a part of the turtle party in the box.
A loud cry comes the softshell, still going at the wall of the box, watching all his brothers go in but unable to.
“Shush, shush” Splinter gently picks him up. The turtle is awake enough to squirm when he ties the last color.
Splinter, despite cutting an indigo stripe forgoes it completely as he tied the purple stripe around his son.
“Purple” He whispers and puts his child in the box with the rest.
Leonardo feels his heart beat heavily in his chest, despite not having one. Of course.
Splinter smiles and points to each of his children, “Red, Orange, Purple, Blue,”
Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo. He realizes.
The same colors.
It may not be the same but nothing here is.
He swallows the lump in his throat as Blue smiles at him.
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gentyjack · 5 years
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SCREAMS 
why can I not write without bouncing ideas off of someone what the fuuuuuuuucccckkkkk
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thepessimists · 7 years
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If you're not trying to get your dick sucked then what the fuuuuuuuucccckkkkk are you doing
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I am panicking.
My roommate is allergic to cats, so I have to put Nova in another person's care and I already miss her son much even though I only had her for a few weeks. She was such a cute stray kitten and I really grew on her. FUCK. Also, my new roommate took MY side of the room. The window side. FUCK. FUCK. I need to stay open minded and patient, but I am struggling to so, so much right now. What if I relapse? What if I get impulsive again? What do I do? My anxiety is so high and I can't sleep and I want oatmeal and my baby kitten and to stay in bed all day and never, ever come out. FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK.
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