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drainslo · 1 month

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Brains & Brawn- Chapter 8: Karts

You were walking somewhere, anywhere that your feet would carry you. You fought the small amount of tears that started to roll down your face which threatened to become more.

You couldn't believe that Chishiya was willing to kiss you, but not mean anything by it. Your face was flushed with the humiliation of rejection.

Your vision was slightly blurry, which resulted in you almost stumbling into Tatta.

“Ah! I was looking for you,” he said awkwardly, looking relieved. “Hatter’s called an executive meeting right now.”

You thanked Tatta and made your way through the hotel to the upper floor where Hatter held his meetings. You felt a sense of deja-vu from the last time you had been there. The last time where this had all started, and you became entangled with Chishiya.

Hatter and the rest of the executives were already there. There were a couple of newcomers who were standing next to Hatter. It didn't escape your notice that they both had their hands tied behind their backs. Likely because they weren't immediately compliant with the Beach.

You took your place near the militants next to Niragi, who flashed a smile at you when you came in.

“You think Hatter got rid of that bastard?” Niragi whispered when you were close enough. You furrowed your brow in confusion, but it immediately became clear who he was talking about.

“Guess not,” he said when he saw Chishiya walk in casually. “Shit, hope he doesn’t take away your position.”

You smiled nervously back at Niragi but didn’t say anything as Hatter began the meeting.

“Executives! Glad you’re here! Now, I’ve called you all here because I’ve realized a solution to our pressing problem, and I also have a couple of new people here.” Hatter looked towards you and Chishiya expressively as you realized that one of the main points of this meeting was about both of you.

“So, from what I understand, you’ve been getting along swimmingly,” Hatter started with initially. You wanted to laugh at the irony of what had just transpired. If only Hatter knew that Chishiya didn't care.

You looked towards Chishiya to see his reaction, but he just blankly stared ahead of him.

“But, I think I’ve come up with a reasonable proposition. (Name) is one of the best executive group leaders at the Beach with the lowest casualty rate out of all of you, but Chishiya has never done so. Tonight, both of them will play and lead groups during the games. I’d also like to see Chishiya lead more groups.”

You flushed at the mention of your success rate in leading groups. Of course Hatter would consider this as a tiebreaker. But you had 5 days left on your visa, and you really didn’t feel like playing tonight.

“Hatter, I just played a game recently,” you said cautiously, not caring to mention that Chishiya was also in your group.

“Are you questioning my methods?” Hatter’s voice lowered dangerously, and you immediately regretted speaking out. Across the circle, An looked at you with pity in her eyes.

“Of course not Hatter. I look forward to playing,” you lowered your head submissively so he wouldn’t have reason to label you a traitor.

“Great! Now,” Hatter paused to turn his gaze meaningfully to the couple that were besides him. “I’d like to introduce you to some newcomers we have here. You said your names were Arisu and Usagi?”

The boy, Arisu, nodded fervently as he looked around the circle, his eyes settling on Chishiya. “You’re the one from the spades game!” he beamed in recognizing Chishiya like he could save them from their situation.

Chishiya didn’t respond but coolly watched Arisu. You thought that he looked as if he were making conclusions about something; he studied Arisu in the same way that he had watched people on the Beach from your balcony.

You knew that Chishiya was as likely to help Arisu as he was to be open with his emotions.

“Arisu also shows promise to be an executive, and he has brought the seven of hearts with him. I’ll have him go in a group with one of the executives today,” Hatter continued, ignoring the short exchange that just transpired.

A seven? You questioned how Arisu had even made it out alive of such a high ranked hearts game. But then again, Mira had cleared the nine of hearts somehow which earned her a highly ranked executive position.

Mira’s eyes gleamed, and she looked as if she were going to say something until a voice spoke up.

“He can come with me. I’m playing tonight,” An stepped forward without even glancing towards Arisu.

“Then that’s all settled? Executives are dismissed. I’ve already welcomed Arisu and Usagi to the Beach, but we have to go over some rules,” Hatter relayed to the rest of you, and you rolled your eyes at the mention of the Beach’s extensive rules.

You walked out silently, and didn’t feel like talking to Niragi. You hoped that Chishiya wouldn’t try to talk to you either. Or did you?

“(Name),” you heard someone behind you say. You swiveled around to find that it was Aguni addressing you.

“Yes?” you asked nervously. You couldn’t think of a reason Aguni had to look for you.

“Follow me,” Aguni said, and led you to an area where nobody could overhear you. You cocked your head to the side questioningly as you waited for him to speak.

“I think you should be careful around Niragi,” he said slowly.

“What?” You blurted before you could stop yourself. This was the second warning about Niragi you had received in a relatively short timeframe.

“Only regarding Chishiya. Try to keep the two separate at all costs, and don’t bring Chishiya up to him without warning.”

“Why? Did something happen?” you questioned, trying to figure out what had made Aguni get involved.

“I believe Niragi has taken a special interest in Hatter’s project with you two, and the relationship you’ve developed,” Aguni replied carefully. You felt that he wasn’t telling you everything based on his precarious tone.

“Alright,” you said finally. All these exchanges made you wonder how Niragi behaved when he wasn’t around you. It sounded like he became an entirely different person from whom you had once known him to be.

This was what the Borderlands was: it takes from you and warps the person you once were.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The evening came before you knew it, and you waited in a hallway nearby for Hatter to start and finish his evening rousing speech. You had been avoiding everyone by hiding out in the shooting range. You felt Chishiya wouldn’t dare come, and he didn’t.

You didn’t know if you were more disappointed or frustrated by him.

You paced in the hallway anxiously, until you saw Kuina approaching you. “(Name)! Are you alright? I saw Chishiya earlier today and-”

The feeling of evil jealousy reared its head in your ugly chest, and before you could stop yourself you spoke almost automatically.

“Chishiya this, Chishiya that. I guess it’s good he talks to you,” you laughed sardonically and immediately regretted doing so. Kuina didn't deserve your frustrations about Chishiya.

“I’m so sorry about him. You didn’t even come spar with me. Listen, (Name), I don’t know exactly what happened between you two,” Kuina pulled out a cigarette that you didn’t see she was carrying and lit it.

You waited for her to begin speaking again as she inhaled the smoke. She leaned against the wall and sighed before continuing speaking.

“I also don’t know exactly how Chishiya feels, but from what I’ve seen I definitely think there’s something. Whenever you’re playing games, he watches you until you leave. He lurks around or sends me to find out if you’ve made it safely back."

You stopped pacing in shock, and took a shuddery breath in disbelief. You wanted to start crying again from the ill feeling that arose when you thought of your dysfunctional relationship with Chishiya.

He does care.

There was an unusual silence, which made you register that Hatter's speech had ended. “I have to go,” you told Kuina and she wished you luck in your game.

You found a place to stand and waved for people who were in group 9 to come towards you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Chishiya was leading group 10. He was talking with Arisu for some reason, even though you thought Arisu was supposed to be playing with An.

You didn’t realize you were staring at Chishiya until Niragi came up to you and tapped your head with the sniper gun he carried playfully, awakening you from your reverie.

“Hey bitch! Daydreaming about someone?” Niragi greeted you.

“Niragi? Aren’t you supposed to be in another group?” You asked in confusion upon seeing Niragi. Occasionally the militants played together, but more frequently didn’t due to the power imbalance.

Hatter wasn’t very fond of a spades dominated player group, especially when you all had guns.

“Since Chishiya’s got to be in charge of one group, I don’t have to do so tonight. So I’ll stick with you, I’m sure to live,” Niragi smiled in amusement but you felt more panicked than anything. You would now see with your own eyes what the others said about Niragi.

Counting Niragi and yourself, there would be 7 people in your group playing that night. It was more than you usually had, and you felt the weight of the responsibility for keeping everyone alive drop on your shoulders.

Motioning for everyone to leave, you began to walk out towards the parking lot with Niragi chattering loudly about how many people there were to watch over. Before you left the Beach’s lobby, you turned back to see if what Kuina said was true.

And you felt a chill run down you after you locked eyes with Chishiya, who was indeed watching you leave.

You wanted to run over to him, and ask him why he kissed you. You wanted to ask him what you were to him. But most of all, you just wanted to talk to him again.

You tore your eyes away from him and focused back on the group you were with. You could now practically feel the burning gaze of Chishiya on your back as you walked out.

“Hey- don’t you agree that Hatter’s asking for a lot?” Niragi poked you in the side when he realized that you weren’t responding.

You sighed and clambered into the driver’s seat of one of the larger cars the Beach had to offer.

“Hatter always asks for a lot,” you duly responded, watching Niragi take the seat next to yours. You turned on the music of the car as the other players crawled into the back, so that Niragi would get the message that you would rather be alone in your thoughts.

The poor quality of the music faintly played as you arrived at the game venue. It appeared to be either an arcade, or a go-karting site. It was hard to tell when the moss and rampant plants grew over the sign of the building.

You entered the building with the others, and as everyone grabbed a phone for registration you saw the go-karts lined up, ready for a race. You drew your gaze to the go-karting course that lay before you, and felt a sense of dread build up. There were around 20 of them lined up, which already was a difficult enough number to race.

The course also was redesigned to be abnormally more difficult than anytime you’ve ever raced. There were tighter turns, and the course appeared to be much longer. You hadn’t been go-karting frequently, and you hoped that the game’s rules weren’t impossible to clear.

“Racing! Sounds fun,” Niragi grinned at you while all you could think was how awful and not fun this game was going to be. “I bet I can beat you,” he continued and pulled out a pair of driving gloves from his pocket.

“How the fuck do you have those?” There wasn’t any way Niragi could’ve known that this game was centered around driving.

“Ah, don’t you think they make me look sexier? I was actually planning on driving us here, but you took the seat so I didn’t say anything,” Niragi flashed the gloves at you, and you shook your head in disbelief at his stupidity. Before you could say more, the chime of the game began.

GAME START

DIFFICULTY: FOUR OF HEARTS

[KARTS]

NO WEAPON USE

TIME: 20 MINUTES

RULES:

PLAYERS MUST PICK A KART TO RACE IN. THERE WILL BE A 5 MINUTE PERIOD FOR PLAYERS TO GET INTO A KART.

AFTER THE PERIOD ENDS, THERE WILL BE A COUNTDOWN FOR PLAYERS TO BEGIN RACING. GAME CLEAR WILL BE FOR ALL PLAYERS WHO MAKE 3 LAPS IN THE GIVEN TIME PERIOD.

WE STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO PICK ONE OF THE FIRST KARTS TO GET A HEAD START. HELMETS ARE PROVIDED ON A TABLE ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM.

You watched as everyone in the venue either ran towards the first karts that were lined up on the course or went to grab a helmet. You gestured at everyone from the Beach to grab a helmet, but a couple went for the go-karts instead.

“Isn’t the helmet more important than the position? I’ve never been racing without one,” you said to Niragi as you both pulled one over your head. The helmets were running out quickly, and it soon became clear that there wasn’t enough for everyone.

“Doesn’t matter to protect your head, when you’re dead,” Niragi quipped and you both jogged back to the go-karts. You brought back a couple of helmets and handed them to the pair of Beach players who defied your instructions.

There were 3 minutes left until the race began. You strapped yourself into the go-kart and prepared yourself for the race. Why was the game hearts? You thought to yourself, bewildered by the suit of the game, but before you knew it, the game’s announcer spoke.

GAME START

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, I was so busy this week!! Hope you guys like it :) (also peep Chishiya will be more present in the next chap haha)

#aib chishiya #chishiya x reader #alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #imawa no kuni no arisu #shuntaro chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #imawa no kuni no alice #chishiya alice in borderland #aib #chishiya x you #chishiya x fem reader #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya shuntaro x you #chishiya shuntaro x reader #chishiya shuntaro x y/n #chishiya x y/n #niragi alice in borderland #niragi

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irrealisms · 1 year

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the post going around abt seeking an autism diagnosis being something to seriously consider if youre trans is good but it doesn’t go far enough imo. be wary of seeking ANY officially documented diagnosis unless you have a specific thing you need that’s diagnosis-gated (medication being the most common, and why autism is a good example of things it’s often not worth seeking a diagnosis for if you don’t already have one, since there’s no standard diagnosis-gated medication) and even then be aware of the ways that the diagnosis you’re seeking can be used against you—whether that’s denying you an organ transplant or a visa or whether it might have more subtle effects (making doctors less likely to listen to you about other conditions/symptoms, making them more likely to call the cops on you, etc)

and of course b aware that like. not everyone Can avoid diagnosis. even if they’re actively denying it and trying to avoid it, even if they’re harmed by it. esp with something like autism that lots lots lots of ppl are diagnosed with as toddlers. and it is also very very common for diagnosis to hurt people in some ways and still be worth it bc they need supports that are harder or impossible without it. in fact this is the default for most things bc we live in an ableist society. “don’t get diagnosed” not a feasible solution for everyone having ableism problems just like “move to a different state/country” not a feasible solution for everyone having problems with their government. yes staying has downsides, but ppl have reasons to stay too, and there are lots of minors who are legally Not Allowed to choose for themselves either way.

(and on the flip side there IS problems w medical neglect also, ppl not getting diagnosed & being cut off from medical care who need it badly, eg poor and/or rural areas, certain cults and abusive living situations, etc. lack of diagnosis not pure privilege either. but this is not solved by pretending diagnosis has no downsides. & in a social environment where there is a lot of that it is a breath of fresh air to see posts going “if you get a dx you will face a lot of medical ableism, are you sure it’s worth it”)

#therapists dni #psychiatry tag #a symptom superficial to what they call knowing you #crabs in a bucket

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alilarew23 · 7 months

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Ahhh I've been manifesting my SP, who is my situationship of almost a year, to ask me to be his gf and it's been going great, sometimes I wonder if he's actually in love with me cus he's acting like that, today we spent the whole day together, he called me "his queen" and bought me a huge pancake from a good restaurant.

But the problem is, he's an Israeli living in my country (in Europe). I don't think he can get sent back to Israel to be in the army, but it's possible he'll get a visa to another country, he's thinking a Canadian visa like his friend who's Ukrainian got when the war in Ukraine started. I want him to be happy and he would be over the moon if he got Canadian visa, but it means I would lose him forever. How can I manifest that it won't happen? Sometimes when I manifested things in the past, the opposite happened. Why is this happening now that things between us were starting to go so well?

girllll wym you wonder if he's "actually" in love with you?

he IS in love with you. you ARE a queen. you deserve pancakes served on a golden platter, slathered with the richest, most expensive maple syrup and butter every damn time you desire them. (goals. yum).

any time i read something like, "but the problem is," i'm tempted to be like, CiRcUmStAnCeS dO nOt MaTtEr, because they don't, but i also acknowledge we're all human and even if we know the law it's easy to occasionally get caught up in the machinations and be like whaaaaattttt thhheeeeee fuuuuuccckkkkkk. so, here's a hug, and now that we've soothed the human in you, it's time to remember, you are god.

and god knows only solutions, not problems.

but if you persist in the problem, god will accept that's the "solution" you want, and you'll manifest more of what you do not want.

so, with love, stop.

and now my question is, what do you truly want?

take circumstances out of the equation, and take FEAR out of the equation.

long before i knew the law i always used to tell myself to make sure whenever i was making a decision i was running toward something, not away from something else. meaning, move (in law terms, decide, assume) from a place of love, of truth.

so what is it?

come on, dig deep.

you can have anything you want.

anything!

the ending in which you and your BOYFRIEND, not situationship, are together, in love, safe, secure, fulfilled.

what's that look like? what's that feel like? where are you? how are you?

until you know your end, you cannot dwell there.

and until you dwell there, it cannot possibly reflect.

so do not waste another second.

go within. find your answer.

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eletricheart · 1 year

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Karma is a relaxing thought

(Mira Kano x Reader)

*image creds to owner

ps: I tried to make this most dialogue but that is my weakness, sorry😭

Word count: 647

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An expiring visa was the only thing that could get in the way of your relationship with Mira.

While it took her days to admit her feelings, once she did you were always together. Mira knew the games, and being beside you made her feel more in control, as if she could protect you forever.

However, the beach was having a problem with the noise of shooting practice, therefore the executives were busy coming up with a solution. Mira wanted to leave with you, especially not knowing what you were playing, but you insisted that she stayed, asking her to make sure a war doesn't start while you're gone.

It was a relatively quick spades game, you were supposed to leave unharmed but this new player mistook you for a threat and threw you off the stairs.

He panicked once realizing the damage but your friends found you in time and took you back to the beach.

Mira was furious once she saw your injuries, you were barely able to stay conscious through the whole trip. Other than you and Mira, Ann and Chishiya were the only one allowed in the room, helping with bandaging and accessing your condition.

You woke up a few hours later to a worried Mira sitting beside you on the bed and waiting.

She noticed your movement right away, smiling at you once your eyes opened. "Hi there, you okay?"

"Yeah, just feeling like I fell down the stairs. Curious, right?" You answered not only attempting a joke but also coughing when trying to laugh.

The woman gave you a glass of water as your breathing went back to normal. "I told you to let me come, now you're hurt and I had to stay here dealing with these…people." She said, pouting.

You smiled and held her hand. "I know, my love, but it would've hurt more to see you in this bed. Besides, it was all an honest mistake, the boy already apologized."

She furrowed her eyebrows at this, not being aware that your accident wasn't that much related to the game itself. "What do you mean by a mistake?"

Your eyes widened at this and a nervous laugh got out. "Mistake? I didn't say that, in fact I'm suddenly very sleepy."

She narrowed her eyes at you. "Who did this to you?"

You closed your eyes and sighed. "He is just a kid, Mira. He didn't mean it."

"Who?"

You pulled her closer to you. "I didn't catch his name, he is new here. I think he was speaking to me on the way back but I'm not sure if it was an hallucination."

She nodded and gently hugged you, positioning her head on your chest.

She kept a close look on you, always ready for anything you needed, but also searching for the boy's identity. Your proximity wasn't new but her anxiety skyrocketed during your bed rest days, making her even more attached than usual, and you didn't mind, finding it all lovely.

A few days later, the boy died in a hearts game, Mira's satisfied smirk didn't come unnoticed but neither did yours.

You looked at her after receiving the news. "Funny how he died and no one else did."

She turned to you with a smile. "I suppose it is."

"Will you tell me how you did it?"

She faked a gasp. "How rude of you to assume I did this."

"Mira, you threatened him at least ten times a day, and you almost killed the kid when he brought flowers."

She rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean I would do this, threatening is very different from murder. It was all just an unlucky game, it happens all the time. Does it not?"

You laughed and turned to hug her. "I can't wait to hear the true story."

She chuckled and hugged you back with a smile.

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masterlist

#aib fluff #aib imagines #aib x reader #aib #aib mira #alice in borderland #mira kano x reader #mira kano #non canon

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haveyoureadthisfanfic · 4 months

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Summary: When Robert Fischer is faced with deportation due to his expired visa, you happen to be the perfect solution to his problem by striking a deal with you to marry him in return for a promotion. But a weekend away with your family turns out not to be what he expected, and he begins to have a change of heart.

Author: @hellotherekenobi

Submitter: @shut-up-you-guys-are-12

Note from submitter: pleasant read!

#official fic poll #haveyoureadthisfic #pollblr #tumblr polls #fanfiction #fandom poll #fanfic #fandom culture #internet culture #A Deal in Matrimony #inception #the proposal #Robert Fischer x Reader #robert fischer

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twopoppies · 2 years

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Hey, do you happen to know any fake marriage fics ? all I can find are fake dating ones :(

Hi sweetheart. The three I love are all on my Fake Relationship fic rec, but I pulled them out for you.

for now (and forever) by orphan_account (M, 83K)

"It's nice that you want to offer that, but I just can't do that. First of all, it's illegal."

Louis shakes his head vigorously. "No, no. It's not like one of us is gunning for a visa."

"Listen to yourself," Harry laughs, shaking Louis' shoulders. "Don't you think it's a bit weird to con the country you're supposed to be serving?"

Louis is going into the Army, Harry is going nowhere, and there's nothing like a little identity fraud between friends.

I No Longer Feel I Have To Be James Dean by justletmegohome (M, 36K)

The tale of how Harry married Louis, the bartender that's nursing his sorrows, three days after getting dumped by his fiance.

For Better, Worse And Mischief (I’m All Yours) by RedOrchid (E, 38K)

The One Direction PR management team decides that Harry needs to get married. Harry doesn't want to. Louis comes up with the perfect solution to the problem.

(Working title: Fake!Husbands Whooot!)

#fake marriage fics #larry fic recs #my fic rec

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torreshalstead · 8 months

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It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Chapter 16

Summary - Hailey’s US visa was due to expire, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as the CPD would get it renewed but due to a backlog of paperwork, this wasn’t possible. This meant Hailey was faced with the real possibility of having to leave the country, her job and everything she held dear. That was until Jay offered up a solution which would allow her to stay in Chicago, in Intelligence, with him - they could get married. Getting married was a good idea, right?

Chapters - 16/20

Chapter Title - The Morning After

Warnings - mentions of child/domestic abuse

Notes - thanks for the love on last weeks chapter, please note the warnings on this one but feel free to message if you want the cliff notes. Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

Hailey woke up simultaneously experiencing the welcome feeling of the warmth and comfort that Jay’s arms around her body provided her and also the intrusive thought that he would probably question her on the previous night's actions once he woke up. Staying completely still she listened intently, trying to discern whether her bedmate was still asleep. His breathing was steady and deep so Hailey decided it was safe to withdraw herself from his embrace and slip into the shower undisturbed. By the time she was ready for the day she hoped she could use Kim and Mak as a buffer between her and her husband and the conversation she really didn’t want to have.

‘So Hailey, why did you invite me into your bed last night and then wrap yourself around me?’

‘Why Jay because I’m in love with you obviously.’

She groaned as she switched on the water in the shower, letting the rhythmic sound of the splashes hitting the tiles fill her brain instead. She didn’t regret what she had done last night. Jay’s words had touched something deep inside her and she wanted to show him what he meant to her but without having any of her own words to be able to communicate that. So she told him they could be adults and sleep in the same bed, then once it was dark and she felt much braver than she did in the light, she had pushed herself across the bed and tangled her limbs with his.

And it was the best night's sleep she had ever had.

Standing under the hot water, she let it cascade down her skin and just for a moment imagined what would have happened if she had voiced her true feelings to Jay last night. She might not be alone in the shower right now. The hot droplets might not be the only thing burning her skin, the soft towel not the only thing that would be wrapped around her naked body when she finally washed the shampoo out of her hair. She thought it was highly likely she would forget to shampoo her hair at all. It was only the thought of their visitors in the other room that stopped her from sliding her hands down her body and imagining they belonged to someone other than herself.

‘Hails, you in there?’ Jay’s voice broke through her thoughts and brought her back down to earth with a heavy thud.

‘Ye..yeah,’ she stuttered out, pushing the images that were swimming through her head way to the back and shutting them there under lock and key. But not too tightly, she might want to revisit them later.

‘I’m making waffles for Mak, you want some?’

‘Please,’ she was never one to turn down waffles, even in the midst of mental turmoil.

‘Okay, they’ll be ready in ten,’ he responded and Hailey heard his footsteps retreat. She let her head fall against the wall with a thump.

This was never supposed to happen. He had married her to help her, as a friend. So she could stay here in Chicago, with him, as a friend. And yet, somewhere along the line, Hailey had realised her feelings for him were not those that you held for a friend. But at some point, her visa would be granted and their marriage would end. That’s what they had agreed and she wouldn’t hold him to anything else that may or may not have happened during their time as man and wife. It was her own problem that she was in love with him. And she would deal with it. She wouldn’t ruin her friendship or partnership over a silly little thing like love.

——————————————————————————

‘Thanks so much for letting us crash last night,’ Kim said as she handed Hailey a coffee in the break room. Kim had scurried off quickly with Makayla covered in syrup to try and get her to school on time that morning, Hailey and Jay’s apartment being further away than theirs, so Hailey hadn’t had a chance to speak to her once she emerged from her shower.

‘It was no problem, you are both welcome any time,’ Hailey smiled warmly, relishing the burning sensation as the coffee slid down her throat. Although she had slept like a log the previous night, the morning shower had scrambled her thoughts and left her needing some caffeine to focus.

‘It’s so funny to see you and Jay at home,’ Kim mused.

‘Really?’ Hailey was confused. She had thought Jay and she had played it pretty well last night but Kim’s words made her question if that was the case.

‘You’re just both so comfortable around each other, not that you aren’t here. But it’s like when you’re on the job you could be just partners but when you’re at home it’s obvious how much you love each other,’ Kim smiled and Hailey felt her cheeks redden, ‘I didn’t mean to make you blush,’ Kim said quickly when she noticed the unflattering shade of beetroot that Hailey had turned, ‘it’s lovely, I’m so glad you’re happy Hails, you both deserve it.’ Kim squeezed her shoulder and strolled back into the bullpen leaving a slightly perplexed Hailey in her wake.

She hadn’t realised she and Jay had put on such a good show, but as she thought back to being wrapped in his arms she wondered how much of it was a show after all. It was becoming far more blurry for her, the line between what was fake and not, and she still had absolutely no idea how Jay was feeling.

‘Hailey, we gotta go,’ Jay said, popping his head into the break room.

‘Case?’ She asked before finishing off her coffee in a single gulp, dropping the mug into the sink and following him out of the room.

‘Yeah, think it’ll be a long day,’ Jay sighed as they headed down the stairs. Hailey clocked the tension in his shoulder blades and sucked in a breath as she wondered what awaited them.

——————————————————————————

Jay wanted to pull Hailey into the break room and wrap his arms around her at multiple occasions throughout the day. The case was a tough one. Cases with kids always were, but this one was different. He could see it from the moment they pinned the young girl's picture to the board, the striking resemblance to his wife from the blonde hair and blue eyes, to the single dimple that graced her cheek in the frozen image. She was smiling in the photo, but when they had been called to the scene that wasn’t the same face that had greeted them. Not even close.

If that had been where the similarities had ended then maybe Hailey’s shoulders wouldn’t have spent the day as hard as rock, her eyebrows furrowed and her hands clenched. He wouldn’t have wanted to whisk her away from it all, wrap her in love and show her the world wasn’t as dark and grey as it had been when she was younger. The same darkness that the young girl now in their care had experienced. But unfortunately the case was similar on many accounts, from the mother who was powerless to protect her from her fathers aggression, to the father whose anger overtook any ounce of love he held for his family.

Hailey stayed stoic through it all, her face a steely mask that Jay knew was concealing pain and hurt and a lifetime of memories that she tried to keep buried. The only time that she let anyone take a glimpse was when she was talking to the young girl, Clara, in the break room. Hailey had finally persuaded her to eat something and the colour was starting to come back to her cheeks although the sparkle was still absent from the child’s eyes.

Jay stood by the door, not wanting to intrude but wanting to be near in case Hailey needed him, he heard her consoling Clara and making sure on no uncertain terms that she knew that her fathers actions were not her fault. Nothing she had done had warranted his behaviour, that people who love you do not treat you that way. He could see Clara starting to believe her, her nods becoming stronger as if Hailey’s words had marked a place on her heart.

His own heart clenched as he saw the young girl whisper something to Hailey who upon nodding pulled the young girl into her arms. The hug seemed like a relief for both of them, Hailey continuing to whisper words of support to her and stroking her hand along her hair, Clara’s hands clenched in the back of her shirt, her little knuckles white with the strength of her grasp.

Hailey glanced across the room, smiling softly when she saw Jay waiting at the door and giving him a little nod which he took as permission to enter the room.

‘Clara, this is Jay,’ she said kindly, pulling back a little but not letting go - if a child wanted a hug or support it was always up to them when that ended, they followed their lead.

Clara’s eyes grew a little wider when she looked at Jay, a reaction that was unfortunately too common when the men in a child’s life hadn’t been the supportive and loving figure they should have been.

‘He’s my husband,’ Hailey said lightly, continuing to smooth down the fly-away hairs on Clara’s head. ‘He’s a good man,’ she added and Jay smiled.

‘Hi,’ Clara spoke quietly, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

‘Can Jay sit with us for a bit or would you like it to just be me and you?’ Hailey asked, giving the little girl back the power that Jay doubted she had ever had before.

‘He can stay,’ Clara said quietly, offering Jay a small smile.

—————————————————————————

‘I hate cases like that,’ Hailey said flatly when they walked back into the apartment hours later, the sun had long set over the city. They had spent hours talking to Clara, finding out exactly what the young girl had gone through and where they would be able to place her moving forward. Her mother had been just as much of a victim as her daughter but wasn’t in a fit state to take her home that evening, it would take some intense therapy for them both until they were able to be in a position to live under the same roof again. Her mother had a sister who Clara adored and was willing to take the young girl into her home, her mother being able to visit when she was able and build up their relationship again.

Her aunt took a couple of hours to get to the station, something that was initially a red flag to Jay - when a child is waiting you hope someone will drop everything to get to them. But turns out she had wanted to get the spare room ready for Clara, going out and buying her some new bedding and some clothes so she wouldn’t have to go back to her fathers house. When her aunt arrived, Clara threw herself into the woman’s arms and Jay knew they had made the right call. It was the first time they had seen the little girl completely relax and smile a real smile. She still had a long way to go but Jay hoped with her aunt beside her, her mother accepting the help that was offered and her father locked away, she would be able to live a happy life.

‘I know,’ Jay said quietly, dropping down onto the couch next to Hailey.

‘I’m glad she had her aunt though,’ Hailey said quietly, staring at the floor. ‘That was always something that worried me,’ she added quietly.

‘If they took you away from your dad?’ Jay asked gently.

‘Yeah,’ Hailey admitted with a small nod. ‘I didn’t have any aunts that would have taken me in so I’d have ended up in the system.’ Jay’s chest tightened, this was the unfortunate truth that they faced in their line of work, there wasn’t always the aunt or family member willing or able to take in a vulnerable child.

Jay didn’t have a response but he didn’t think Hailey had said it for a response, just as something she needed to say out loud. He wondered if she had ever admitted it out loud before but he thought it was unlikely. Hailey and vulnerability were not things that went hand in hand, although around him she did let her walls come down just a little.

‘Thanks for today,’ she muttered, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

‘I didn’t do anything?’ Jay said, slightly confused.

‘You were there if I needed you,’ Hailey said, looking up at him with a small smile. ‘I knew if I needed you at any point you’d be there, if I reached for you, you’d hold my hand,’ she admitted quietly.

Jay reached over and offered her his hand, she slid her small one into his and he threaded their fingers together. ‘I’m always here if you need me,’ he said. It was the truth. He had always been by her side, even when she didn’t always want him there, preferring to keep her private life private. But even more so now, now whether she knew it or not, she held a piece of his heart in her hands and she had cemented a permanent position in his own and he would always protect her.

‘Do you want me to cook us some dinner or do you just want to sleep?’ He asked, it was late and he knew the events of the day were weighing on them both.

‘Sleep,’ she said without hesitation.

‘Okay,’ he nodded and stood, starting to pull his hand out of hers but she tightened her grip.

‘Will you stay with me?’ She asked quietly and then as if second guessing herself added hurriedly, ‘but if that’s crossing a line then don’t worry, I understand, I just-’

Jay stopped her with a squeeze of her hand, ‘of course I’ll stay,’ he said warmly. ‘I’ll just clear up out here and I’ll be right in.’

Hailey smiled lighter and nodded, unlinking their hands and heading into her room, leaving the door open behind her.

Jay let out a shaky breath. He knew she was only asking him because of the case, that she just wanted to feel safe but he knew that the Hailey of a few weeks ago wouldn’t have asked him. She would have faced it alone behind a closed door, no matter how much he wanted to help her. But things between them had changed since then.

He didn’t know if it was just that they had grown closer, living in close proximity would do that to a person, or if it was because she had opened up about her mother and her childhood. Things had changed for him too, but if he was honest with himself, his feelings for Hailey had been there for a lot longer than he had been willing to admit. But he hadn’t agreed to marry her as some kind of weird fantasy or cryptic plan to get her to fall in love with him. He had done it because she had needed him to, and he would move heaven and earth if she needed it.

But he did love her, he knew that now and every time he got a chance to hold her, or kiss her, or sleep next to her, it just solidified in his mind that he loved her more than he ever thought was possible. But he wouldn’t push it, wouldn’t admit to her how he was feeling. He didn’t want her to feel awkward or guilty or anything else negative when it was him who had suggested this situation in the first place. He would keep it under wraps, showing her in all the small things he did, letting her set the rules and lines with their relationship in whatever format she wanted. And when she got her visa and he had to let her go, he would stand aside. He loved her too much to tie her to him if she didn’t really want it. And he’s not sure his heart would survive if he put it on the line and she turned his love down.

Jay finished putting away the remnants of that morning's breakfast, the plates and cups now dry on the draining board. He knew was stalling, knew Hailey was waiting for him, but he was trying to ground himself before climbing into her bed. He had delayed long enough so he took another steadying breath and walked into her room.

She was already under the covers, the sheets pulled all the way up to her chin and her silhouette small under the blanket.

‘Hey,’ was all he said as he walked round to the other side of the bed, thankful that he hadn’t thought to return his pyjamas to his room.

‘Hi,’ she whispered back, still facing away from him as he shucked off his jeans and tugged on his sleep shorts, leaving on the black t-shirt he had been wearing that day. He slid into the bed and settled his head on the pillows. Hailey switched off the lamp and the pair were plunged into the same darkness that they had experienced the night before.

Similar to the previous night, he waited and let Hailey reach across the void first, but unlike yesterday, she didn’t seem to test the waters first, she just settled herself against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and letting their legs tangle together.

They fit together perfectly, her petite frame matched his larger one, her hand spread over his heart, his arms slotting around her waist.

‘Goodnight Jay,’ she whispered into his chest.

‘Goodnight Hails,’ he responded, dropping a soft kiss to her head. She pulled back slightly, and he wondered if he had overstepped. Yes she had invited him into her bed but only because she wanted comfort, she hadn’t invited him to kiss her. Through the darkness he could see her looking at him, pressed up against his shoulder. She puzzled at him for a moment, before leaning up and pressing her lips against his for a fraction of a second. They were just as soft as he remembered but before he could register what was happening, she pulled back and tucked herself back into him again.

‘Sleep well,’ she mumbled and Jay stared blankly at the ceiling. She had kissed him. Yes it was only a peck and yes she seemed to think about it before she did it. But she had kissed him. He tightened his arms around her warm body and let himself fall into a blissful sleep, the memory of her lips filling his mind.

——————————————————————————

She didn’t pull herself away as quickly the next morning, she let herself sink further into his arms, relishing in his comfort. That was until her phone buzzed loudly, breaking through the peace and she groggily reached across for it. Jay groaned from the loss of contact and she grinned to herself, unlocking her phone and pulling up the notification as she did so.

It was an email.

It was from the Department of Immigration.

#upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #chicago pd #upstead fic #hailey x jay #chicago pd fanfic #upstead fanfic #chicago pd fic #upstead fanfiction #chicago pd fanfiction

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lilyliveredlittlerichboy · 10 months

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like when you think about it, the UK really epitomises the whole "nationalise the problem, individualise the solution" thing. the NHS is one of the most stark examples of this. Struggling for decades because since Thatcher, it's been carved up and sold off to private companies one bit at a time. During COVID countless healthcare workers died and now the NHS is on its knees, completely unable to provide adequate care to people in a reasonable timeframe. A national problem that's blindingly obvious no matter where you are.

The way to lighten the NHS's workload? Here's just a few.

Make Drs appointments increasingly inaccessible. Oh you have to call at 8am on the dot to get an appointment. Called at 30 seconds past 8? Too bad, none left. More often than not, GPs try to fob you off and will refuse to investigate your problems properly. On screens in the waiting rooms, you'll have guilt trippy messages playing about how patients need to not let their frustrations out on staff. If you call the surgery, you have to listen to 2 minutes of a recorded message telling you what you all CAN'T come to the surgery for. Please try literally anywhere else first. Who cares that pharmacists, dentists etc are also increasingly oversubscribed and inaccessible.

Make A&E and hospitals hostile and scary places to go to. Make GPs dismissive and condescending. Make people wait to get medical care. Maybe they'll just give up and leave instead.

Allow private healthcare companies to spring up in massive numbers, and allow them to run ads on television. At the same time, make wait times at the NHS unacceptably long. The wealthy will go private in order to get their medical needs met in an acceptable timeframe.

Import legions of foreign workers under a "Healthcare Visa" which is basically glorified, legalised labour trafficking. After all, most of the healthcare workers who died of COVID were black and brown people, so we gotta replace them with more black and brown people to die in the line of duty.

Let private companies run social care services both care homes and in the community. There's no possible way this could ever go wrong, especially not when these are run for profit and have to "bid" to get care contracts from councils, which usually go to the lowest bidder.

Make people work impossibly long shifts and then make a shocked pikachu face when healthcare workers burn out in unprecedented numbers, or leave for the private healthcare sector where work is easier and pay is better.

Run PSAs about what you need to treat at home and not go to the GP for. Run PSAs about what you definitely shouldn't go to A&E for. Clearly, it's the ordinary people of the country who are the problem, for going to the Drs for every stupid little thing.

Guilt trip people for missing appointments because they're "wasting valuable time".

Push blame for the state of the NHS onto striking nurses and vilify unions.

Don't ever, ever mention on the news and media that there's a very clear cause of this (political decisions made by mostly the Tories over the past 4 decades) and that the solution also has to be political.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg really.

#i need a tag for my own rambles #nhs #uk #uk politics

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dizzyduck44 · 2 months

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Daniel Ricciardo’s blessing is his curse 🍯🦡🇦🇺

Daniel is in his 14th season of Formula 1. He has had a long career in the highest tier of motorsport. However the questions that surrounded him at McLaren seem to have followed him to Visa CashApp FFS this is seriously what you called the team!

The thing is every driver seems to reach for the F1 seat, but Daniel’s seemingly lack of ability to adapt driving style is being compounded by the grid he currently drives on. You see, either competitively or for fun most of the drivers have had to adapt to a different style of driving. Some at a stupidly young age.

Let’s look into it

Max Verstappen - spends his days off driving any kind of race car Red Bull will let him. Seeing him take his Dad round the Nordschliefe says it all really.

Sergio Perez - drove just about every form of junior open wheel car on his way to F1.

Charles LeClerc - like Daniel seems to be all F1. Do we question he’d be a beast in a Ferrari sportscar though?

Carlos Sainz - again seems to be all F1 but remember Dad has a track on the family farm. He has been driving allsorts, on dirt, since he could sit in a car seat

Lewis Hamilton - never competitively but again over the year Mercedes has given him opportunities to drive all sorts of high powered sports cars for promotion. Even a superbike.

George Russell - says he tested a DTM car, again gets to play with the Merc sports cars

Lando Norris - went from karting to Ginetta then to open wheel. Add a go at the Daytona 500, all competitively. Embarrassed himself at the Race of Champions. Now seems to love ice karting (weirdo).

Oscar Piastri - another one straight through to F1, however only ever driven one F1 car but I don’t worry he wouldn’t adapt

Fernando Alonso - Nando has the full set right? F1, Indycar, WEC, Daytona, Dakar. Won Le Mans. Next!

Lance Stroll - has done a couple of races in IMSA.

Esteban Ocon - drove in DTM prior to F1

Pierre Gasly - drive in Formula E prior to F1

Alex Albon - has done a season of DTM

Logan Sargeant - straight through to F1. Again only driven one F1 car.

Kevin Magnussen - various stints in sportscar series throughout the years inbetween F1.

Nico Hulkenberg - Le Mans champion, Indycar test.

Yuki Tsunoda - straight through to F1. Only ever driven 1 F1 car.

Valtteri Bottas - ice rallying. Need I say more!

Zhou Guanyu - another open wheel all the way to F1. I’m gonna give him the credit of having driven the Renault a number of times before moving to Sauber.

So you see what Daniel is up against.

Not a winter break goes by when you don’t see half the grid in a go kart. Shout out to Lando and Fernando who seem to do it midseason and all the drivers who happily jump in for promotion days. (80% of the grid). One of the biggest shocks for me was when Daniel went karting with Jenson Button in 2021 and admitted he “hasn’t done this is years” 😬

So we are getting to the core of the problem. With a grid of drivers who turn their hand to anything, sometimes for a laugh, Daniel has never really pushed himself out of what he knows. And it’s biting him.

What is of further concern for him, is Liam Lawson is hovering (he should already be in a seat but I digress). A driver who went for F2 to DTM and nearly won the championship in the first season (I’m still bitter). Then into an F1 seat and was up to speed almost immediately.

The trouble is now it’s too late to throw him into a sportscar to give him the experience, because I’m not sure he would get back into F1. If Daniel thinks the Max and Lando’s were a handful to deal with, who needed a bit of maturing to hit their stride, the Oscar Piastri’s and Ollie Bearman’s of the world are terrifying.

Daniel needs to find the solution on his own. Before it eats away at his mental health and confidence. 6 laps in a NASCAR round COTA is not gonna cut it.

I think I know what’s happened and I and he are afraid to admit it. Ask Jenson Button about the point you sit behind the wheel and no longer want to take the risk or push the limit. I worry he has hit the mental block of I can’t learn another way and the idea of taking a high powered sportscar out terrifies him.

And who’s going to let him lose in the Red Bull if that is going on in his head?

Fingers crossed he shows up and shows out in Melbourne

#daniel ricciardo

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