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danwhobrowses · 3 years

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AEW Women’s Eliminator Tournament - Full Review

So as of tonight’s Dynamite the winner of the Eliminator Tournament is in the books, either Nyla Rose or Ryo Mizunami have overcome the other to earn the right to face Hikaru Shida at Revolution on Sunday

But now is time to look at the tournament as a whole and review how well AEW’s latest ambitious Women’s Division Project would/should be received

Warning: There will be immediate spoilers for the Winner under the ‘Keep Reading’, if you do not wish to know the Winner do not read until you have

So when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, Ryo Mizunami came out on top having pinned Nyla Rose for the win, claiming the spot at Revolution and the tournament.

Boy was my prediction wrong eh?

After being given the trophy by Shida however, Aniki refused to let go of the champion, trading and inviting blows from each woman until Shida was able to knock Mizunami down and raise the title aloft.

Was she people’s first choice to win? Probably not Is she an unworthy winner? Absolutely not

Mizunami is extremely experienced, her charisma can reach all ages, she has a genuine love for the wrestling (her sunglasses even have ‘I <3 AEW’ on them), she has aforementioned history with Shida and she went through 2 Fan-Favourites, the legendary Aja Kong and finally the previous Women’s Champion and No.1 Ranked Woman to get here.

And while we are on that topic, to the people who immediately condemned and criticized the tournament when Nyla made the finals: Don’t you get tired of being worked so easily? Honestly we had the exact same thing with the Deadly Draw, people don’t want competitor A (Nyla/Brandi and Allie) to win: so AEW put them in the finals so they root for competitor B (Aniki/Diamante and Iveliesse). Ye of so little faith

I also like to mention that it’s quite nice of Mizunami to be this rewarded by AEW and Shida given how she appeared on their first show at Double or Nothing, I didn’t know it at the time of my bracket rundown but apparently Mizunami was about to retire after DoN, but the crowd and energy of the match inspired her to keep going and push to reach a wider audience - which AEW is now letting her achieve.

Get it out of the way - The Negatives Make no mistake this tournament was great, but it doesn’t mean it was perfect. Of course my earliest criticism was that we could’ve had more, a bittersweet feeling I got when I realised the tournament was nearing its close. While yes it would’ve been nice to see the likes of Big Swole, KiLynn King, Allie, Penelope and perhaps even some debuts/returns, we cannot slight AEW too much for keeping the bracket small.

Time however was a bit of a constraint on AEW’s part. Having revealed late that the winner will face Shida for Revolution, the tournament matches started coming out fast...but on Youtube. Personally, I had no problem with the matches being a sole focus stream on Youtube, but I can also understand why not putting at least the entire American bracket on Dynamite would’ve hurt the tournament. If the tournament had more time I do believe that each match would’ve had a Dynamite showing and not a broken BR Live stream (but please note that BR Live were the problem there, not AEW).

A non-AEW criticism as well for Injury screwing over Anna Jay right as she was about to have her match, extremely rude of the world and we hope her shoulder heals up faster than usual.

The final criticism is probably with the BR Live US Bracket Finals video, simply put it was lacking compared to other streams. Madi vs Leva and Leyla vs Alize didn’t shine as much as Riho vs Rosa and the 6 Woman Joshi tag did in the prior stream, we could’ve probably gotten better matches out of that.

Why I loved it - The Positives I will look at anyone who says that this tournament was a waste and meaningless dead in the eye and tell them they are wrong, and they will be shocked to find that I am not lying.

The tournament not only put a lot of attention on the competing women but became a platform for AEW to show that they have some impressive women on their roster. The returns of Yuka, Emi and Riho paired with the stalwart performances of Baker, Rosa and Nyla as well as the bright showings of Madi, Anna, Tay Conti and Leyla shows that AEW still have a really good Women’s Division - I mean I love WWE but you have to admit their NXT women’s division bought many of their stars ready-made; Io, Toni, KLR, Meiko and Candice were already established names before WWE. Stack that on top of impressive performances by Red Velvet and Jade Cargill last night and the ranks of Big Swole, Allie, Penelope Ford, Kris Statlander, Shanna, KiLynn King and Tesha Price and you still have a strong division.

The tournament proved its worth also by the fact that there was not a single bad match on there, we had some bangers on each stage ranging from Yuka vs Emi, Rosa vs Riho, Nyla vs Baker and Leyla vs Rosa, among several others. The tournament succeeded in giving us great wrestling even with different formats of face vs face, heel vs heel, speed vs power, technique vs power, and even some new shades to the women such as heel Sakura and face Nyla.

I cannot praise the tournament without heaping a ton of praise on the Joshi. Shida and Kenny had always been adamant to show that the Joshi can be a revelation to Western audiences and they were paid in kind in that regard. All six Joshi brought out their A-Game to the point where several are asking for them to be signed, Sakura’s heel ‘Killer Queens’ faction rose interest with a fantastic entrance, while VENY dazzled with their gymnastic talent (and their wearing of the late Hana Kimura’s kimono), Mei Suruga and Yuka Sakazaki lit up the room with their speed and fun and Maki Itoh continues to be adored by the wider world into megastardom. The six woman tag as well was a nice cherry on the top to once again showcase the women, including Rin Kadokura who was fed to Aja Kong in the tournament, every bit of energy and charisma from the Joshi landed on the mark, it has opened several new fans to their home brands (TJPW however did kinda give away that Yuka wouldn’t win given how she was booked for one of their shows, but they’re still great) and have us gasping for more of those six and perhaps some extra, Miyu Yamashita for instance? Think about it TK

One thing that can really harm a tournament too is predictability, which this tournament did not have. You have to commend the balls of AEW to set up 5 fan favourite choices to win and have them each be felled and swerve the entire fanbase. It was for the most part good swerves as well, leading up to the Nyla work included, and actually made me feel like this tournament had big stakes for each member. People will criticize its unpredictability but I won’t be one of them, just because it didn’t go how you personally predicted it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Also a stand out yes for Rosa’s several gear, especially the Selena one against Riho, and Hikaru Shida herself slaying it in the white suit, like lord almighty thank you for this food.

Was it worth it? - Conclusion This is an emphatic yes for me. AEW will always have its critics, fair and unfair, but if you have to wonder whether this tournament is a success you have to simply look at it this way

Were you entertained?

For me yes, there was a 100% consistency in good to great matches in this tournament paired with genuine surprises that got people talking and invested in the tournament itself.

Did it give you something fresh?

A dark horse winner who earned her way to face Shida for the 5th career time and 1st time in an AEW ring through outwrestling, outpowering and outwitting their previous opponents, unique heel/face changes and a showcase of new wrestlers and matchups? I’d say that’s a yes

Did anyone get over?

You ask anyone before this tournament was announced who Ryo Mizunami, Maki Itoh, VENY or Mei Suruga was and you’d likely get blank faces, thanks to AEW they are known and commended by several fans outside of Japan. You ask people if Tay Conti can bring a physical match to Nyla and almost win and you’d get a few murmurs, if you asked people if they though Kenny was valid for his push to bring the Joshi into a wider audience prior to this may’ve said no. Those minds were changed because these women got over. In addition to that the popularity of Thunder Rosa, Riho and Yuka Sakazaki has continued to rise as some of AEW’s top babyfaces, Leyla Hirsch, Emi Sakura and Tay Conti’s stock have rose thanks to the tournament and Nyla and Baker have delivered on strong match performances.

When you consider those three, there is no way you could call the tournament a failure or a waste, people benefitted from it in a good way which means it was a good tournament.

I for one will look forward to seeing Shida take on Aniki and see how it unfolds at Revolution - which I hope to do a review for, I’m also guessing that Paul Wight’s aquisition is either Christian or Okada. Many will of course assume that this is an easy retain for Shida (and act like winning the tournament means you should win the following match as if people don’t win the Royal Rumble/MITB/KOTR/Dusty Classic and lose in their title shot), but how many of those people thought that Itoh, Kong, Yuka and Nyla would beat Mizunami? She keeps on extending the party and coming out on top, you cannot underestimate the tournament winner, Shida produced this tournament, she’s picked her winner now she needs to fight them.

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daily-giogio · 5 years

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Please Read Purple Haze Feedback

What is Purple Haze Feedback?

Purple Haze Feedback (PHF) or 恥知らずのパープルヘイズ (Hajishirazu no Pāpuru Heizu) is a light novel written by Kohei Kadono with accompanying illustrations by Hirohiko Araki.

Kohei Kadono is best known for writting the Boogiepop series. (Please don’t judge the quality of the original Boogiepop series by the new anime btw 😭 😭 😭 it doesn’t compare)

The story takes place six months after the canon events of Part 5 and revolves around Panacotta Fugo.

The novel was created for VS JOJO, an anniversary project that brought together multiple well-known writers to write stories relating to JJBA.

As the novel was not written by Araki, it may or may not be considered canon, though it is directly referenced within the JJBA game All Star Battle, and was lightly referenced in the anime recently, when Risotto had someone photoshop the burnt photo of the statue back together.

Why should I read Purple Haze Feedback?

Even if you don't like Fugo, it will make you like Fugo. The amount of depth that PHF puts into Fugo's character really gives Fugo the spotlight, and entirely makes up for the lack of depth he's given in part 5 compared to the other protagonists due to his early departure in the story. PHF really lets Fugo shine so much more than he does in the original series. You are guaranteed to like Fugo more once you read the novel.

Even besides Fugo, the author has a great grasp on the entire original cast of part 5, and does a great job of writing all of Araki's characters.

The new characters + stands that are introduced, along with their integration into the canon story and the JoJo universe, are just as well written. Some of my favorite villains in the JoJo series as a whole are in this novel.

Stemming off of this, the author has an extremely solid grasp of the themes that part 5 conveys, and does an amazing job extending these themes to PHF, while also grafting on new ideas and themes that give further depth to the themes of part 5 and even improve the way the themes of part 5 are conveyed to the reader. PHF is so good at integrating into the canon story while also improving on it with its additions that many people that have read PHF like to consider it canon.

The stand fights of PHF are super riveting, and once again, just like with the villains, PHF contains some of my favorite fights in the JoJo series. Even without Araki’s stunning imagery, the fights will hook you in just as well.

The author makes every single part of the story matter. Not a single part of the writing is meaningless or unecessary. Each part of the writing, from the serious moments to the light-hearted parts, contributes important value to the scenes, characters, or overall theme of the story, which are all perfectly tied together. There is not a wasted word in this book.

Though it is not technically an entirely-canon story, it is an absolutely wonderful one. If you want to enjoy part 5 more than you already do, I absolutely recommend that you read PHF.

Important note: Please refrain from reading PHF until you have read or watched the entirety of part 5, as PHF does contain major part 5 spoilers, since it takes place after the events of part 5.

You can read the english translated version of PHF here, and if you enjoy it I encourage you to support the author and buy the original as well.

#purple haze feedback #jjba #golden wind #vento aureo #panacotta fugo #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyō na bōken #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #phf #as much as I want to elaborate on the great writing of original part 5 characters in PHF i cant elaborate much because PHF and P5 spoilers #please read PHF fdskfhdsk

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smocatoff · 7 years

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WWE TLC 2017 Review

Meningitis booked a better show than the actual WWE creative team. Let’s get into our TLC review, shall we?

Sasha Banks vs Alica Fox: 2 out of 5 (Banks wins)

Pre show bullshit. Who cares? Plus it was a stupid angle to boot. Moving on.

Asuka vs Emma: 3.5 out of 5 (Asuka Wins)

A good debut for Asuka. Moved along at a decent pace, some good ring work, good storytelling, etc. Made Asuka look strong and I’m interested to see where they take it.

Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann vs Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher: 3 out of 5 stars (Cedric and Swann win)

Well...Jack got a heel theme, which was nice. Also, the match was solid. Good pace, solid ringwork, and a nice enough story going into it. Not that I particularly care about the Cruiserweight division at this point, but it was okay nonetheless.

Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James for the Raw Women’s Title: 4 out of 5 stars (Bliss Wins)

Well this match was better than expected. These two told an excellent story with some great psychology. Not the fastest or most exciting of affairs, but it was a good watch.

Enzo Amore vs Kalisto for the Cruiserweight Championship: 2.5 out of 5 (Enzo wins)

Just fuck the cruiserweight division. Why are they doing this thing where they hotshot the title off a heel on FREE TV just put it back on him at the PPV? It’s stupid as shit. Match was fine, I guess, but fuck that ending.

Finn Balor vs AJ Styles: 4.5 out of 5 (Balor wins)

This was infinitely better than what we would have got if Bray had not been sick. This was a great match. Great pace, excellent ringwork, good psychology, and some killer spots. If I were to complain, it would be that I would like to see these guys without the restrictions. Watch it.

Jason Jordan vs Elias Sampson: 2.5 out of 5 (Jason Jordan)

Meaningless filler. Both guys got their schtick in, but it was nothing we haven’t seen on any other episode of Raw. Moving on.

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Kurt Angle vs The Miz, The Bar, Braun Strowman, and Kane: 4 out of 5 (Ambrose, Rollins, and Angle win)

Honestly, it was a bit of a clusterfuck. But it was a fun clusterfuck. Angle looked great in his return and took some decent bumps for someone his age and with his list of injuries. Though it dragged in places, and some of the table spots got botched, it was a fun watch.

WWE TLC 2017 overall score: 3 out of 5

Not a bad show. Main events delivered. Surprisingly good Women’s title match. But some filler and some weak booking bogged it down.

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happenable-blog · 5 years

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SmackDown Review 16/04/19: The BIG Acquisition of SD?!

SmackDown Review: The superstar shakeup continues on SmackDown. And who was the biggest acquisition in SmackDown history according to Vince? Before the start of the show last night's replay was shown recapping every superstar that jumped over to Raw. The Kevin Owens Show Owens came out to a huge reception. Fans were going crazy for him. He said something in French which I didn’t understand. He then proceeded to say that Shane McMahon is going to reveal the biggest acquisition on SmackDown Live history. I think he made a mistake here as it was Vince who made the announcement, not Shane. He then invited the WWE Champion Kofi and the New Day. The New Day came out without Big E as he is sidelined with an injury. Owens congratulated Kofi and gave him a standing ovation on becoming the WWE Champion. Woods said that Raw took 80% of the up up down down Rosterand he wants Tyler Breeze on SmackDown by the end of the night. This was a joke for his youtube subscribers. Kevin Owens said that as Big E is not here he wanted to be the new member of the New Day and he wants to be by their side against their match against Nakamura and Rusev. The New Day accepted his request after doing some comedy stuff. Backstage Nakamura and Rusev are approached by Cesaro to be the third member of their team against the New Day and KO. I found most of the New Day funny stuff to be cringy. But the apparently the crowd was loving it. And they just loves booking their top champion in tag matches, don't they? That is lame writing. Rating: 2.5/5 As the New Day and KO are dancing in the ring the newest member of the SmackDown Roster, the InterContinental Champion Finn Balor, came out. It was great seeing Balor on SD. Apparently Joe was supposed to be at Raw last night but there were some issues. Inter-Continental Champion Finn Balor vs Ali Ali did a suicide dive on the outside. They both took turns chopping each other on the chest in the corner. Balor went on the top rope after a stomp but he was taken out by Ali with a hurricanrana. Ali went for 450 splash but Balor moved out of the way. Ali landed on his feet. Balor drive him in the corner with a shotgun dropkick followed by the Coup de Grace for the win. Winner: Finn balor A good match. I would have really liked Ali to win here to set-up a future championship match but you can’t have your IC champion losing two nights in a row. Rating:3/5 Backstage KO is approached by the New Day for his initiation. He has to beat Big E’s time of eating pancakes. I did not found the New Day to be funny today. This was a cringy as well for me. It ended after an ad break with KO successfully beating Big E’s record. Carmella vs Charlotte Flair I almost forgot that Carmella won the women’s battle royal at WrestleMania. The trophy at the ringside and the commentary team did reminded me though. Carmella gave a really good fight to Charlotte. Much part of the match was outside. Carmella superkicked Charlotte before throwing her back in the ring. Charlotte attacked Carmella’s foot as she was entering the ring before locking in the figure 4 into a figure 8. Carmella taps out. Winner via Submission: Charlotte Flair Nothing special of a match. This was just there to feature Charlotte on the show and also because of the segment that came after this. Rating: 2.5/5 R-Truth is attending to Carmela when Lars Sullivan’s music hit. R-Truth tried to fight back but Lars laid him out. Lars then moved his attention to Carmella. She got terrified and moved out of the ring. Lars then continued to beat down R-Truth even more. He got some heat from the crowd which I guess was the point of all this so that is a good thing. But he needs to have a match soon. Becky 2 Belts gets interrupted by everyone Becky Lynch cut the same promo she has been cutting since she has won the titles. She will beat down any challenger thrown at her starting with Lacey Evans. This brought out all the Smackdown women’s roster and I mean literally everyone. First Ember Moon came out followed by Bayley both of them traded from Raw. This was followed by The IIconics. Paige came out to reveal her new tag team but before she could Deville and Rose interrupted her. Paige then finally brought out her new tag team of Asuka and Kairi Sane. They ran down the ring to start a brawl among all the women. I don’t know what I feel about a tag team of Asuka and Kairi. Asuka should be going for the single’s title. It is like she doesn’t even care that she lost her title. And how does all the SmackDown women coming out one after the other will put any of them over?? This was a bad segment. No one got properly cheered by the crowd and Bayley was booed! I don’t know why but Bayley getting booed? Wow! Rating: 1.5/5 8-Woman Tag Team match: Ember Moon, Bayley, Asuka & Kairi Sane vs The IIconics and Fire & Desire The crowd was dead for majority of this match. They only popped a little for Asuka. All women delivered their big moves. Kairi hit Peyton with the InSane Elbow to pin the champ. Winner: Ember Moon, Bayley, Asuka & Kairi Sane This was just to feature all the women on the roster. The crowd being dead did speak volumes. They are not going to pop everyone. Hence my point, this doesn’t put any of the women over. Kairi’s elbow really lives up to her name though, Insane! Rating: 2/5 6-Man Tag Team Match: The New Day and Kevin Owens vs Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev The heels work over Xavier. He made his comeback with a missile dropkick which led to a hot tag to Kofi. The WWE Champion beat down Cesaro to tag in the crowd favourite Owens. Owens and the New Day work together to beat down the heel team. Kofi hit Rusev with the Trouble in Paradise followed by a Stunner from Owens for the win. Winner: The New Day and Kevin Owens This was another ok match in a series of ok matches on SmackDown. The crowd only popped huge for Owens. I am tired of these meaningless tag matches. I hope we can build a contender for the championship next week. Rating: 2.5/5 The Biggest Acquisition in SmackDown History Vince came out with 10 minutes before the ending of the show. And as a result, He was rushing through his lines. He then revealed the biggest acquisition in SmackDown history is... Elias. Elias came out to a lot of boos by the crowd. He was ready to do his performance when Roman Reigns music hits who came out to a huge pop. He superman punched Elias and even Vince. Roman grabbed a mic and said that this is his yard now. He was about to leave but got in the ring again to deliver a Spear to Elias. It was nice seeing Roman getting cheered for once. But this was not worth the build for me. Any of the two stars are not the biggest acquisition in Smackdown History. It will be nice to see what Roman does on SmackDown. Will he go for the main title straight away or take his time. We will see. Rating: 2.5/5 This was an average show for me. Now the Superstar Shake-Up is out of the way. I hope they start building some feuds. We still haven't had any feud started for the main titles on both brands. On this show, I really didn't like anything much. Everything was average or below it for me. SmackDown Review: 2.5/5 That was our SmackDown review. Don't forget to follow us on social media to get updates when the new posts go up. If you want to check the Raw Reviews you can do so by clicking here. Also, check our fantasy booking of Kurt Angle's retirement here. Read the full article

#SmackDown #SmackDownlive #smackdownreview #SuperstarShakeUp

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thejustinmarshall · 5 years

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One-Star Amazon.com Reviews Of Moby Dick, As Free Verse Poetry

Lots of people love Moby Dick, which has long been considered a classic of American literature and one of the best adventure books of all time. But lots of people do not love Moby Dick, too. They hate it. Hating Moby Dick, with the advent of online reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, has become its own art form. Reading the reviews is fun, but it’s even more fun if you insert some spaces and format the reviews into free verse, which I have done below for your enjoyment. (All spelling and punctuation is quoted verbatim from the original reviews).

Truth.

Jaws

is better

—Nicessist, July 31, 2015

Do not like how it is written in old English

Do not like how it is written in old English.

Was not aware of that.

Also, the print is extremely small.

Tried to read it,

but

put it down.

—Eileen, August 29, 2016

Weak Plot Line

This book moves very slowly.

She spent too much time

having the characters moon over each other.

It took a very long time

for each step of the plot to happen.

I finally skipped to the last chapter from about 50%.

I don’t think I missed anything.

—bjski, April 26, 2019

Slow and Boring Story

I could not wait to finish

this book.

The characters

were not likeable

and

I found them annoying.

This should have been a short story.

—linda, April 2, 2019

One Star

Small letters,

smelly pages.

—Florelis, January 3, 2018

Moby-dick not favorite book

I didn’t like it

because

it was

too long

of a book.

I rate it 1 star

because a lot of parts in the book I didn’t understand.

—Tess, August 12, 2019

Bad fish porn

Not into fish

porn

—bru, April 14, 2019

One Star

Author droned

and on

and on.

Couldn’t get past

the second chapter

—Laurie G. Williams, September 24, 2015

One Star

Horrible book,

never means what he says.

drives

INSANE.

—Amazon Customer, December 7, 2017

One Star

—S. Nyer, September 5, 2016

One Star

Horrible read.

Ramble, ramble and ramble.

I struggled

to finish

this book.

—Mark, May 25, 2016

One Star

Poor acting by lead character,

the book was fairly good,

the movie

not so.

—janice kadushin, March 5, 2016

One Star

very slow until

contact

with

moby dick

—john gerardi, February 20, 2015

I SURE HOPE YOU ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT WHALES

I SURE HOPE YOU ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT WHALES!!!!

Listen

I read this book hoping to get a pretty good story

hoping to see some of the solidarity in man

by reading about his voyages in water

hoping to relate to some of the struggles from being solely focused on obtaining a certain goal etc.

But honestly

good Lord!

I swear 85% of this book is various lessons

on whaling

the origin of whales,

whale distinction,

whale body parts,

whale sperm,

different color whales.

Oh my goodness

the book starts off quick with the appearance of Queepeg

you think ok we might have something here

but NO!

this book drags on

and on

and on.

Gets off topic ALL of the time.

The majority of this book is about how Ismael feels

and about whale parts.

And when Moby Dick does show up AT THE END OF THE BOOK

Captain Ahab vs. Moby Dick was as big a mitch-match

since the Super Bowl between Denver and Seattle.

It was anti-climatic

some people might get this book

but please don’t put me down as one.

SAVE YOURSELF THE TIME AND ENERGY

READ THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA

A MUCH BETTER BOOK

—Oliver, September 27, 2014

One Star

tedious

—Anne Wyatt, January 18, 2016

One Star

Outstanding!

—Rogelio Lozano, September 7, 2017

Obvious he was paid by the word

I tried.

I really tried.

Multiple times.

But the page

after page

describing all the different types of whales in the most minute of detail, and the sentences that stretch so long that by the end of them I’d realize I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what point he was trying to make.

I finally decided

life is to short to torture myself with a book

I’m just not enjoying,

and I moved on.

Maybe I’ll try again in another 10 years.

—Smurf, August 24, 2018

One Star

The book

was fine

but

I hated the story

—Kasey Patton, April 15, 2015

Meh.

Taxing

as well as underwhelming.

So many unnecessary side notes,

few of which really contribute to the plot itself,

but I’m no scholar

see for yourself.

—Kindle Customer, July 19, 2019

One Star

boreing

—paul weaver, February 28, 2015

I Could Be Wrong

But reading it

feels like being trapped

in a whale’s belly

with Chuck Klosterman.

—lori c. baughman, October 9, 2018

boring

i had to read this book for school

it boring

dont read

why is this so famous.

cant even understand writing.

words too big i hate it not even interesting.

they just sit on a boat then get killed by a whale

stupid captian

knew they were gonna die

—Denali, August 1, 2013

Moby Dick AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It just went on and on and ON!

About rubbish!

SOme old guy

with one leg

hunts down a white whale

and in the end he kills the thing,

but at the expense of his life

and lives of his whole crew,

except one guy….

It may be liked by older people,

but it really isn’t for young people.

—atg, August 20, 2011

Tedious

Do we really need

a 10 page analysis

of the color white,

or any of the other tedious digressions contained in this book?

I say

no.

I loved the poetic language Melville uses,

and there is no doubt

he was a great writer.

He did not,

however

have a great editor.

Getting through this book was like running a marathon,

where you are forced to stop every mile

and listen to a lecture on running,

running shoes,

knee pain,

gatorade,

or any other subject remotely related.

Finishing the marathon gives you bragging rights,

but not much more.

—vikingslayer, November 25, 2010

Overhyped

Moby Dick is

an overhyped,

monotonous,

pretentious,

pseudo-intellectual

piece of crap,

in other words

an English lit major’s wet dream.

It’s the absolute meaningless ramblings

of a half wit,

not some great intellectual masterpiece.

Maybe Melville was the Justin Bieber

and “Twin Peaks” of his day,

talentless and meaningless

but few will admit

they were fooled.

—Tom Adams, December 6, 2011

Not enough dicks

There were

no dicks

in this book.

—Ben Reser, March 21, 2015

More stuff like this is in my new book Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, out now.

SHOP

The post One-Star Amazon.com Reviews Of Moby Dick, As Free Verse Poetry appeared first on semi-rad.com.

from Explore https://semi-rad.com/2019/09/one-star-amazon-com-reviews-of-moby-dick-as-free-verse-poetry/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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olivereliott · 5 years

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One-Star Amazon.com Reviews Of Moby Dick, As Free Verse Poetry

Truth.

Jaws

is better

—Nicessist, July 31, 2015

Do not like how it is written in old English

Do not like how it is written in old English.

Was not aware of that.

Also, the print is extremely small.

Tried to read it,

but

put it down.

—Eileen, August 29, 2016

Weak Plot Line

This book moves very slowly.

She spent too much time

having the characters moon over each other.

It took a very long time

for each step of the plot to happen.

I finally skipped to the last chapter from about 50%.

I don’t think I missed anything.

—bjski, April 26, 2019

Slow and Boring Story

I could not wait to finish

this book.

The characters

were not likeable

and

I found them annoying.

This should have been a short story.

—linda, April 2, 2019

One Star

Small letters,

smelly pages.

—Florelis, January 3, 2018

Moby-dick not favorite book

I didn’t like it

because

it was

too long

of a book.

I rate it 1 star

because a lot of parts in the book I didn’t understand.

—Tess, August 12, 2019

Bad fish porn

Not into fish

porn

—bru, April 14, 2019

One Star

Author droned

and on

and on.

Couldn’t get past

the second chapter

—Laurie G. Williams, September 24, 2015

One Star

Horrible book,

never means what he says.

drives

INSANE.

—Amazon Customer, December 7, 2017

One Star

—S. Nyer, September 5, 2016

One Star

Horrible read.

Ramble, ramble and ramble.

I struggled

to finish

this book.

—Mark, May 25, 2016

One Star

Poor acting by lead character,

the book was fairly good,

the movie

not so.

—janice kadushin, March 5, 2016

One Star

very slow until

contact

with

moby dick

—john gerardi, February 20, 2015

I SURE HOPE YOU ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT WHALES

I SURE HOPE YOU ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT WHALES!!!!

Listen

I read this book hoping to get a pretty good story

hoping to see some of the solidarity in man

by reading about his voyages in water

hoping to relate to some of the struggles from being solely focused on obtaining a certain goal etc.

But honestly

good Lord!

I swear 85% of this book is various lessons

on whaling

the origin of whales,

whale distinction,

whale body parts,

whale sperm,

different color whales.

Oh my goodness

the book starts off quick with the appearance of Queepeg

you think ok we might have something here

but NO!

this book drags on

and on

and on.

Gets off topic ALL of the time.

The majority of this book is about how Ismael feels

and about whale parts.

And when Moby Dick does show up AT THE END OF THE BOOK

Captain Ahab vs. Moby Dick was as big a mitch-match

since the Super Bowl between Denver and Seattle.

It was anti-climatic

some people might get this book

but please don’t put me down as one.

SAVE YOURSELF THE TIME AND ENERGY

READ THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA

A MUCH BETTER BOOK

—Oliver, September 27, 2014

One Star

tedious

—Anne Wyatt, January 18, 2016

One Star

Outstanding!

—Rogelio Lozano, September 7, 2017

Obvious he was paid by the word

I tried.

I really tried.

Multiple times.

But the page

after page

I finally decided

life is to short to torture myself with a book

I’m just not enjoying,

and I moved on.

Maybe I’ll try again in another 10 years.

—Smurf, August 24, 2018

One Star

The book

was fine

but

I hated the story

—Kasey Patton, April 15, 2015

Meh.

Taxing

as well as underwhelming.

So many unnecessary side notes,

few of which really contribute to the plot itself,

but I’m no scholar

see for yourself.

—Kindle Customer, July 19, 2019

One Star

boreing

—paul weaver, February 28, 2015

I Could Be Wrong

But reading it

feels like being trapped

in a whale’s belly

with Chuck Klosterman.

—lori c. baughman, October 9, 2018

boring

i had to read this book for school

it boring

dont read

why is this so famous.

cant even understand writing.

words too big i hate it not even interesting.

they just sit on a boat then get killed by a whale

stupid captian

knew they were gonna die

—Denali, August 1, 2013

Moby Dick AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It just went on and on and ON!

About rubbish!

SOme old guy

with one leg

hunts down a white whale

and in the end he kills the thing,

but at the expense of his life

and lives of his whole crew,

except one guy….

It may be liked by older people,

but it really isn’t for young people.

—atg, August 20, 2011

Tedious

Do we really need

a 10 page analysis

of the color white,

or any of the other tedious digressions contained in this book?

I say

no.

I loved the poetic language Melville uses,

and there is no doubt

he was a great writer.

He did not,

however

have a great editor.

Getting through this book was like running a marathon,

where you are forced to stop every mile

and listen to a lecture on running,

running shoes,

knee pain,

gatorade,

or any other subject remotely related.

Finishing the marathon gives you bragging rights,

but not much more.

—vikingslayer, November 25, 2010

Overhyped

Moby Dick is

an overhyped,

monotonous,

pretentious,

pseudo-intellectual

piece of crap,

in other words

an English lit major’s wet dream.

It’s the absolute meaningless ramblings

of a half wit,

not some great intellectual masterpiece.

Maybe Melville was the Justin Bieber

and “Twin Peaks” of his day,

talentless and meaningless

but few will admit

they were fooled.

—Tom Adams, December 6, 2011

Not enough dicks

There were

no dicks

in this book.

—Ben Reser, March 21, 2015

More stuff like this is in my new book Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, out now.

SHOP

The post One-Star Amazon.com Reviews Of Moby Dick, As Free Verse Poetry appeared first on semi-rad.com.

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thecosydragon · 6 years

Text

My latest blog post from the cosy dragon: Guest Reviews from Kyria #2

Remember last year when I had a guest stay with me for 11 days and she read a bunch of book and reviewed them for me? Well, she’s back and in 7 days she read all these novels. Take it away Kyria!

Akarnae

The start of the book didn’t do it justice. It felt jumpy and confusing, because the book went to the effort of explaining and describing a situation that the character would be in, only to pull her out of it almost directly afterwards. This continued throughout the book to some extent, although never as bad as in the beginning; there were parts that felt jumpy or rushed.

However, after making it through the beginning, the book got much better and by the end of it I was really interested in what was going to happen; so much so that I might have to buy the sequel. 4 stars

The Ash Princess

If there’s one word for this book, it’s mediocre. It had a great idea, but the book didn’t live up to expectation. The idea of different ‘personalities’ that the character had, depending on who she needed to be (Thora vs Theodesia) seemed more like a way to hide a jarring personality change that instead should’ve been written into the book in a much slower, and careful way. The only way that combination of submissive and powerful would have worked is if she had been Theodesia the entire time, choosing instead to act as Thora when she needed. However, this isn’t what happened; instead, it seemed to happen over the span of a few pages, when she decides to reclaim her name, and her kingdom, and not be broken anymore. It’s reasonable that a decision like this could be made in a moment, but there should have been more happening before this, of her slowly gaining confidence, instead of just jumping on an opportunity she’s been beaten away from her entire life. 3 stars

The Bone Queen

This book was definitely not one of the best books I’ve ever read. By the time I was halfway through, I was barely skimming through it, and only because I hate leaving books unfinished. The book started out solid, however, the first change of POV started the downhill spiral than this book went on. Starting with a character who knew nobody meant that there wasn’t a bombardment of names to remember, but this changed once we left his point of view. Already, this meant that I was disinterested in half of the book, because I couldn’t understand who was doing what. The other part of the book was really good… until the two sides inevitably met up, and brought along all the name problems.

The exciting parts of the book were always good; when something interesting was happening, it was well-written, and I was interested. However, these parts seemed to be few and far between as I entered the second half of the book, instead filled with pages and pages of meaningless filler that didn’t add much to the storyline. It was around this part where I just began skipping the filler and reading only the more exciting parts; and while there was some storyline that I missed, the only noticeable difference from ignoring a significant part of the book was one change in location. This had the potential to be a great book, but sadly fell short. 1 star

The Phoenix Project

This was an amazing book! I was hooked from start to finish. It was unpredictable; but not in a bad way. Instead of being able to guess what was going to happen from the very beginning, the book went in directions I wouldn’t have expected. The character progression felt natural, and I could really understand his actions, and why he did them. There was only one part of this book that I didn’t particularly like, and it was relatively minor. The relationship between two of the characters felt a bit rushed; they went from barely knowing each other, to disliking each other, to being friends in a way that felt much too fast for my taste. 5 stars

Elantris

Wow. Just wow. This book legitimately blew me away. I usually have trouble keeping up with a book as it goes through separate storylines; one always seems much more interesting than the other. However, this wasn’t the case at all for this book. Both storylines had me equally interested, because they both brought something new to the table, instead of one half being the necessary but boring part. The author clearly focused on making sure that the book was well-written, and was interesting all the way through, instead of knowing what he wanted to happen, and just finding a way to get there. I started this book in the afternoon, so I inevitably stayed up late to finish it. However, usually when I’m up late to finish a book, I wish it were shorter so that I could get all the enjoyment out of it, but still go to bed earlier. This was absolutely not the case for this; I wanted the book to continue forever, even if it meant I wouldn’t go to sleep for the next few weeks.

The book did a great job at constantly keeping the reader in suspense. There were unexpected twists all throughout the book, which kept me constantly on my toes. I also appreciated that they made sure not to give the surprises away too soon. The two main characters spent so much time together, with one of them not knowing who the other was, that it constantly frustrated me. However, it also kept me reading to wait for the sweet moment when everything would be revealed.

The only negative that I have with the book is that a little more backstory would have been nice. I understand why the book started out on such a vital part, but it meant that as a reader, I was unaware of the relationships that the prince had to the other characters, so it meant that I didn’t have much to expect from when he revealed himself. 5 stars

A Chronicle of Chaos

Absolutely great book. The first part of the book played with suspense really well; I never knew what was going to come out of the relationship. It kept me hooked from the second I started reading. Throughout the book, the character development of the demon was done perfectly. I didn’t think it would’ve been possible for a genuine character development to take a demon into… a not-demon, but it felt genuine the entire time. This also happened with the main character, although there was less development because he hadn’t started off at as extreme a position.

I feel like the quality dropped near the end of the book, when Anathema became human. It felt less exciting, especially compared to earlier in the book. The transition between the relationship of the characters also felt unnatural; Chaos went from hating Anathema to instantly risking everything for him. I understand that this was done because he realised Anathema loved him back, but it still seemed unrealistic, and a bit of a jump. That said, because the rest of the book was so spectacularly done, I kept interest the entire time, because I really felt invested in the characters. 4.5 stars

The Traitor’s Game

This was a solid book. It had a great storyline, and was written well for the most part. The major let-down of the book was the predictability. I could’ve guessed a significant part of the storyline from the very beginning, which ruined a lot of the book for me. There was also one part of the book that I found very confusing, after she found the blade, where it wasn’t made clear what she had actually done with it. I understand that this was for a big reveal later on, but as a reader it just left me confused and wondering if I’d skipped a page. The character development was also all over the place; especially the character of Trina, who went from hating Kestra to wanting to be friends in the blink of an eye. Kestra was also very predictable. Although she made a few decisions that I thought were genius, and hadn’t expected, a lot of her personality focused on her (extremely predictable) relationship with Simon.

That said, it was enjoying to read, and would definitely be a good choice for a light book you don’t want to think too much about. 3.5 stars

from https://ift.tt/2OKq43G

#book bookreviews authorinterviews lovereading bookworm

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fic-dreamin · 7 years

Photo

Brilliant and beautiful -- the perfect ending to a gripping trilogy Justin Cronin’s THE CITY OF MIRRORS sets out to do the seemingly impossible – wrap up scores of characters and an immense landscape of action in a way that will satisfy readers who have waited four years for the publication of this book. Well, I guess Cronin can do the impossible! Because CITY is a brilliant novel, powerful in its message and extraordinarily satisfying in its concluding pages. Spanning almost a thousand years, the story manages to keep the reader intimately connected to a group of characters we’ve known since the first installment (THE PASSAGE) while also letting us glimpse the vast scope of a story that touches the entire human race. This is a novel about hope, love, and human endurance set against a truly terrifying landscape that threatens the survival of humanity itself. Some have called this a classic “good vs. evil” story, but I don’t agree. It’s really a story about our own inner conflicts, the very human battles between our better natures and the urges that seek to undo us. What saves us, says Cronin, is love. If only we can recognize it. Go to Amazon

Disappointing. It seems like the author had a three-book deal but only two books' worth of story. None of the previous characters were further developed, and the new characters were just outlines. Stories, like the 20-year rebuilding of the ship, which would have been great books in themselves, were just sketched in. And the less said about the main character, who tells his backstory for much of the book, the better. His reasons for ruining the world make no sense at all and we have to listen to him basically whine for ... like ... ever. And why was Amy even in this book? She was locked up for most of it. The new characters and storyline introduced at the end of the book were unnecessary, except to tee up a Book 4? Yikes let's hope not. Cronin is a great writer--please move on to a new story! Go to Amazon

Unsatisfying So much time has passed since book 2 of the Trilogy, that there are mixed feelings- excitement remembering how caught up and invested you were in these very interesting and complex characters- and confusion remembering plot points. This book is somewhat of a mess. Greatly detailed in some chapters, and oftimes annoyingly so, and yet we struggle with time. And distance. And dream vs reality. I would have used better differentiated chapters going back and forth between time and characters and places. Time is badly handled; perhaps Miles's story could have been interjected throughout and the garden and voices would've worked better. Cronin doesn't know horses like he knows ammunition, or the impossibility of time and space even given this is a work of fantasy. Go to Amazon

Good Conclusion With One Glaring Exception A satisfying conclusion to “The Passage” trilogy. Full of action, suspense, danger, heroism, love, loss, adventure, and soul. I was very pleased that Cronin revisited one of my favorite characters, the long-suffering Anthony Carter. (Too bad my favorite character, Wolgast, is no more) However, I found part II “The Lover” to be a real slog, and almost put the book down. The only interesting aspect of the life story of Tim Fanning, aka “Patient Zero”, was the window into the lives of the rich and shameless Ivy League students. Go to Amazon

Great Expectations Oh the disappointment. I have waited for this book for so long only to be let down. If you're looking for the interpersonal relationships that made the first two books in this series so addictive you won't find them here. Our 12 heroes from the previous novels have scattered far and wide and don't really seem to care much about each other's lives. If you're looking for page upon page of Tim Fanning (Zero) telling his side of the story then this is it. Living underground in the subways of NYC for a hundred or so years drinking rats' blood really does tend to mess with your head but it seems all he needs now is the bow of a ship from which to scream 'I'm king of the world!'. Yes he hates Jonas Lear, the man who kept Fanning's infected self as a type of science experiment, but there was more. We learn just why Fanning suddenly showed up for Lear's expedition and why Zero's 'many' lived a dark dream. Go to Amazon

... subplots with different inter related groups of characters and unnecessary exposition and arm chair psychological analysis o The book drags due to excessive subplots with different inter related groups of characters and unnecessary exposition and arm chair psychological analysis of the villain. It staggers back and forth between these groups eventually winding up at a tacked on meaningless ending. It was much ado about nothing and very disappointing after the first two books. Go to Amazon

Five Stars Two Stars A great read Amazing dystopian vampire story - multi generational storytelling!! I couldn't wait to read this every night Sad to leave this behind... 5 stars Riveting All I can say is stupendous Five Stars A great writer can tell a wonderful story without a lot ...

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

Text

WWE Royal Rumble 2021 - Initial Thoughts

I know I’m late, but employment is still a thing, and I had to prioritize that over an all-nighter, but it’s time for the Royal Rumble, one of the more exciting shows of WWE’s schedule, so let’s get on with it!

Spoilers for Royal Rumble, you have been Warned

I might not invest too much in kickoff matches but the Women’s Tag Match was not a good time

It was fine before the end, but who the hell decided that Charlotte should control 90% of the champions’ offense and have the hot tag!? Asuka is the RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION, not Charlotte. After the tag Asuka literally had one spot and she was dead, completely taken out of the match for *checks notes* being thrown over the Announcer’s Table...you know that thing several wrestlers come back from easily.

The finish was just too much too, Ric distraction didn’t work, Lacey distraction didn’t work, Kirufuda Clutch didn’t work but then the brass knuckles did. Too much.

And why TF are we putting titles back on Nia!? We should’ve just given the titles to the Riotts, or the winner of the Women’s Dusty Classic. It also cuts me deep that Asuka and Shayna are treated this way, even as champion Asuka is a side character to Charlotte T_T

Main show though and I don’t like the package and interviews between entrances

Drew vs Goldberg was just...meaningless.

It was cringy enough that Cole had to spout drivel to make 60 year old Goldberg seem strong but to have Drew be ‘injured’ by a barricade spear - something much more tired wrestlers have and will get back up from in less time and continue a longer match - was daft. Also saying that Goldberg’s spear or jackhammer is the best move of all WWE is stupid, it was a WCW thing

Thank God Drew Won, but the post-match does remind you of the meaningless circumstances this feud came about. Suddenly Goldberg is okay with Drew’s same manners of respect

I mean, Carmella’s entrance and gear is cool, but do you think it eats at Corey a little that Carmella’s ‘behind the curtain’ bit is a tad...red light district?

Sasha’s promo didn’t hit for me unfortunately

Reginald didn’t deserve to be ejected for that! He caught Sasha and get beaten up for it

Jesus Carmella! Sasha got barely any of that dive

Screeching and faffing aside, Carmella got a good showing...I do hate quick tap outs in title matches though

Sami cuts a good promo, but his content wasn’t exactly the best. New Day are hardly the management’s faves, it’s taken this long for E to get a singles run, Fans literally had to Yes Movement their way into giving Kofi the world title.

New Day’s Brodie gear was good though

Bad Bunny as the ‘Biggest Latin Artist’? Is Cole for real? I didn’t even know who he was before today

If the song is about Booker T then why is he dancing around GI Bro?

Come on Book, you hang on the Sucka! That’d be like if the Rock just went ‘If ya smell what the Rock is cooking’ without the drags or pauses

Ric’s ‘with a tear in my eye’ promo was after the Rumble though...

It’s actually a sad stat that just over half of the Rumble winners win titles

No Morrison segment for the escape spot!? He did it as much as Kofi dammit!

Sorry Greatest Royal Rumble is not canon for me

This Stat Attack has taken far too long

I’m okay with Mike Rome but couldn’t a woman have announced the Women’s Rumble? Where’s Lillian at!?

NAOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIII GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?

That hair is amazing as well

I know you can’t say it, but we all remember that Benoit won the rumble in the first two as well

Was...Bianca wearing earrings on her entrance, she looked like she was taking them off

Billie actually had the right idea, can’t be in the match until you enter the ring, it’s clever stuff

That tank did not look like it was meant to turn that direction XD

It actually surprises me every time how tall Shotzi is, I always imagine her short

Billie no...not with Shayna

The piped boos are highly unrealistic to boo even a heel Toni Storm

Shotzi eliminated and then horrible singer Jillian comes in? Urrrrgh, Bad Singer Jillian was terrible

Wrestling wise she hasn’t missed a beat though

Billie’s surprisingly being a highlight here with actual narra-OHMYSHITITSVICTORIA

Gear was a bit meh but Victoria definitely can still go

Oh Peyton the purple looks good on you, and her Widow’s Peak was not bad at all

Ah, good for Santana, for a moment I thought it said Santina and got a very bad chill

Damn Liv, Speed Machine!

Ooof, the betrayal is real Billie

THIS IS MY BRUTALITY!

Somehow I’m genuinely upset by every elimination so far, good job!

Aaaaaand then they got rid of Victoria and brought on Charlotte to immediately take out Rhea -_-

That was a clever move from Bayley but damn Ruby landed hard

Are we seeing a Bayley/Peyton team? Or is she just eliminating the Riotts for revenge for Billie, but also Liv Nooooo!

Torrie now, eh okay

Ouch for Dana

Lacey...no, this ain’t working

Poor Peyton, her elimination was a side chapter

And we missed Bayley’s elimination!? For Shame

Mickie! Good to see ya! Aaaaand being beaten by Charlotte...

Nikki Cross is back too! Hopefully they find a good story for her

Alicia Fox? I guess she sobered back into the good gra...R-Truth? No

Oh yeah, Humberto is a thing

Jerry shut the fuck up!

The 24/7 stuff was super unnecessary, we did not need to take focus off this match

Lacey eliminating Mickie, rude.

Dakota should’ve gotten more time, she barely lasted a minute

Reginald again deserves better

See Tamina vs Rhea would be exciting...if Tamina was booked better

Naomi’s chemistry with Bianca is really insane right now

Lana *reminded of her feud with Shayna and Nia* Also Lana *goes for Rhea*

That was a hard tackle on Alexa by Rhea...aaaaand she’s eliminated mid ‘transformation’ a bit worthless for me

Road Warrior Ember Moon! And right into the Eclipse that’s the good shit

Baszler probably shouldn’t have eliminated Lacey story-wise

The Betrayal is real for Tamina as well

What’s with the crazy camera cuts!?

Nia eliminating Baszler? Nah...

Hold on Cole, baiting Nia over the ropes isn’t a ‘tremendous elimination’

The betrayal is real for Lana too, Nattie sure shrugged off that double assault

I get that the narrative is that Charlotte has beaten both Bianca and Rhea before, but to hang against both of them after already being in a match and hanging on from two apron attacks was daft. Stop making her super strong, she’s mega talented yes but giving her the Brock Lesnar energy does her no favours

That close call though with Rhea and Bianca was great, need more spots of two wrestlers about to be eliminated at the same time

The final bit of chain wrestling too was great, that’s what you need at the final part of a rumble, the mini-match

I had Rhea as my win prediction but am more than happy for Bianca, who was my second choice. Winning at No. 3 is great and her emotional promo just gets her more over. Bianca vs Sasha’s gonna be wild too

Overall the Women’s Rumble was good, most of the women got shine and there were a few mini stories too, do wish that more time was given to some women and that Sonya was in the rumble but the returns were good and most of the eliminations got me good

Miz talking about guaranteeing a championship run like he didn’t lose the last cash-in and didn’t have a chance to cash in previously this night when Drew was ‘reeling’ from the barricade spear.

I reiterate that I wish Sonya was in the rumble, but do like her endorsement of Bianca

Again, this 24/7 stuff is wrong place and time right now

Last Man StANDing Match for the UniVERSal Championship

Cole, there is Champion’s Advantage. Triple H vs Michaels Last Man Standing, neither men made the 10 so Trips kept the title, 17 years ago. Royal Rumble 2004.

See, this is where a Finisher Spotfest works, because it’s not about pinfalls it’s about keeping people down

The camera switches are not doing good on this portion of the side of the thunderdome

Yes, attacking the knees, this is the Cerebral ‘rope breaks with his pinkie finger’ Owens I like to see

Ooof the Golf Cart, a la Kane and Stadium Stampede

Why is this training area just like a second arena

Lil’ running ref in the background

Right into that conveniently placed mini-ladder

Not the forklift! Think of Judy Bagwell!

Oh that curtain is the thing Becky took a photo of! I mean she was always gonna be backstage

Corey before the match ‘there must be a winner’, Corey after Owens went through the stage LED ‘The ref should consider stopping the match’

Did the Ciampa move there to stand up

I don’t think you’re allowed to use a Ref Bump that way

Then the Second Ref restarts the count and stops at 5!? If this doesn’t come back next SD it’ll be a misstep

It was a physical match, not the best I think the finish brought it down. The problem is that KO has lost 3 times now and the last time is a botch finish, and we can’t have him lose again - the poor guy needs a win

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY!

I will say this immediately, revealing Edge and Orton as 1 and 2 beforehand was a terrible idea, just because you don’t have a live crowd doesn’t mean the people watching from home can’t be surprised

‘Number 3 is the worst number to draw on average’ - Belair just won at No. 3

Ali at 4? Then went after Edge and not Orton?

Sami, just don’t get in Orton’s face

Refs what are you doing? No rules in Rumble, where were you with Nia and Shayna with that logic

‘What does Shin need to do to be more successful?’ - for one not face AJ Styles, he is still a tag, US and IC champ as well as a RR winner, that’s quite successful

Carlito finally shows after the Legends Night tease and yes those are some abs

So...Randy’s just sleeping with this knee injury

Big E enters with some snappy camera angles again

I was hoping for more Ali - especially since Ricochet came immediately after - buy angry E was nice to see

Wait is that Elias’ entrance? Where’s the guitar strum?

Priesty, wonder if this is his main roster call

What DJ leaves his equipment on stage anyway?

‘The biggest star in the world in the music business’ - for real?

‘I’ve heard of flying squirrels but flying bunnies!?’ - Corey you need to watch Tokyo Joshi Pro, they got a flying sugar rabbit

To quote Ross Tweddell, MMMmmm Riddle...does not do it for me

Stop with the camera cuts I beg of you!

Mayor of Knox County!?

Ricochet eliminated by Kane, le sigh

The betrayal is real for DBry

Big Elim for Priesty though

‘Now it’s a Royal Rumble’ - reminder that Edge is a KOTR winner too, and that Nakamura is the King of Strong Sty-oh and Corbin eliminated him :/ what was the gauntlet about if you’re gonna Corbin him?

Otis’ new gear is slick

aaaaand Corbin’d again

Big Dom Fuck im Uhhhhhh Spinebuster’d

Damn he got him though

Dang that bounce sound from DBry

Bobby no why you gotta do Dom like that!?

Hurricane back from his Gangrel crossing and disposing Sammy Guevara’s broken body in Elite Deletion to do another rumble

One of these days, he’ll hit that Chokeslam and shit will go wild

Christian! This time getting the more emphatic reaction

Oh that smile, that hits you in the chest cavity...then Riddle ruins it

Rey comes in and WWE made him an advertisement ¬_¬

Edward James Omos what are you doing? well...I know what he’s doing, IC feud between AJ and E

Edward James Omos fuck you for eliminating Rey

The betrayal is real for Shamu

Cole how did you know it was Seth before his entrance hit?

I don’t think we were supposed to pick up Shamu welcoming Christian back but that was sweet

Then finally BWOAR

And Bwoar eliminates Cesaro, what was the point of his push? (it’s because his contract’s nearly up isn’t it?)

Again with the camera switching

Seth No! And where’s the boos pipe music!? DBry was a heavy favourite, that would’ve caused heat

Can’t believe Mmm Riddle lasted ahead of DBry

I didn’t forget about Orton, but the finish was good, that Orton tease got us good

It was a decent rumble, in hindsight you could tell Edge was winning given how they put express focus on Michaels winning at number on in the stat attack, Edge being face in peril for the first 10 entrants and Cole reminding us how long Edge has been in there

I don’t at all hate the end result, though I do question whether it was the best choice in the long run. Edge had his rumble win returning from injury already and throwing more legends at Drew does imply a heavy lack of depth in the current roster. Edge didn’t really need the win, but I’m not disappointed in him winning

The Men’s Rumble itself wasn’t as good as the women’s I don’t think, a lot of favourites of mine were unceremoniously dumped out quickly, any layered storytelling didn’t get enough time and it did feel a little by the numbers, almost a microcosm of modern WWE booking

Overall it was still a decent PPV, happy with the winners of the rumbles and that’s mostly all we need from a Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania starts here

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