#UGH and i’ve literally been thinking about it all week like i should put a fucking lock on it. and yet

[morgana-pendragon]

i am so extra pissed off now bc i went out with my mom but it’s our week to stay at my dad’s and y’all know about my laptop and her issues so i left her there bc she was already plugged in and like not losing charge or anything and i was in the middle of one of the spotify gifsets and i assumed i would just be back soon enough and every plan i had for getting back before 9 pm went to SHIT and now my dad is like all the way asleep and won’t be carrying me back to his (i cannot stress enough that it is less than a two minute walk from where i am now.) so now i just have to. cope with that i guess

#not that i want him to drive sleepy i def don’t but i just want it known that he is not far #and i know this isn’t an actual problem but as i try to understand my brain more i’ve realised that #when i explicitly plan something out in my brain and it doesn’t go that way i get inordinately upset. and i am now #even though i definitely prefer to sleep at my house my THINGS are there. and my laptop does Not have a lock on it. not that anyone there #is going to go on it or anything. i just feel insecure having it somewhere i’m not when it has no lock #UGH and i’ve literally been thinking about it all week like i should put a fucking lock on it. and yet #anyway i just wanted to complain a little bit. how were your nights <3 #stop talking abbie

[gamermattsgf]

“Cool spider…” // Tattoo artist Chris

Warnings: sextape / colleague relationship / favour for a favour trope / riding / petty Chris x reader / nose piercing!Chris / spanking kink / mommy kink / slight breeding kink / tattoo!Chris / praise kink / ownership kink / degradation kink / ‘good girl’ / creampie / unprotected sex / hair pulling / exhibitionist kink / scratch kink / tit play / overstimulation

Summary: you and Chris both work in a tattoo & piercing gallery, and your toxic ex just won’t leave you alone… so Chris decides to shut him up and put him in his place.

Author’s notes: I’m baaack. someone’s seriously got to stop me from making up fics on stuff that I’ve just randomly yapped about and blogged for fun. Me: posting about tattoos I’d think Chris would look good with. Also me: ‘-now hang on a sec that’s actually given me a great idea…’ *pulls out a notebook and starts vigorously writing shit down*.

“Gotta know, I ate her, she's so sweet, now or later. I want that all the time, all the time I'll make you all mine” - Toes Down, Loukeman

. ♱ .

You sigh, checking your phone once again before flipping it back around to face the desk. You shake your head and put it into your hands to rub it slowly in exhaustion. This is the fifth time he’s texted you today and your patience with him was slowly thinning.

‘You good?’

Chris mumbles absentmindedly from his hunched over position at the counter. He has his shirt off - as he usually does - to keep himself cool as the ceiling fan whirls above your heads. You look at his back, and the way his light wash blue jeans wrap around his lean waist lowly.

His right arm moves languidly as he sketches out a stencil for one of his clients, the graphite of his lead pencil scratching against his favourite sketchbook soothingly in the otherwise quiet atmosphere of the tattoo parlour.

You admire the jet black ink adorning his torso, that stretches from the bottom of his spine to cover the expanse of his shoulder blades in jaggedly aggressive patterns, the back tattoo attractively sat over his otherwise soft skin.

The muscles wrapped around his shoulders move as he draws, and you can’t help but swallow thickly at the sight of them.

‘Yeah… I’m fine’

You reply, not at all convinced by your own weak attempt of trying to mask your obvious distaste for the sight of the messages on your Lock Screen whilst you shuffle about trying to clean a needle gun.

‘Oh really? Cos’ I’m hearin’ a great deal of sighing for your corner of the room and not alotta action…’

Chris sarcastically snorts back, his voice containing buckets of care masked within the joking manner. He doesn’t even bother turning his face, far too absorbed by the current drawing of a tiger he was doing on someone’s chest in a couple of weeks time whilst he expertly shaded in the small black stripes of its rippling body.

You pause for a minute, debating on whether or not you should actually tell Chris about what’s been going on. It’s your ex. And Chris doesn’t like him at all. So how is he going to react when you tell him he’s been quite literally harassing you for the past couple of weeks?

Not well is your guess…

Even though you two are co-workers, you share an extremely close relationship and tell each other practically everything, which sometimes readily blurs the lines between your strictly professional work ethics.

‘Ugh fine, it’s Max, he’s just sort of been bothering me lately…’

This catches Chris’ attention, and his head perks up. Craning his neck he looks back at you with narrowing eyes of suspicious icy blue.

From this angle over his shoulder you can see the gleam of his silver nose ring, and his torso twists just enough to reveal a new tattoo. One that you actually did on him yourself.

It was a delicate but bold patchwork tattoo of a large black widow spider, its long spindly legs stretching across the expanse of his ribs and looking like it was using them to scale up his chest. You struggle to hide a smile at being able to remember doing it on him so well.

You can easily recall the faint buzz of the needle gun and Chris’ soft occasional groans as you punched in the bulbous back of the widow’s body onto his skin that rose and fell to the rhythm of his exhales.

It must have been a sensitive part of Chris’ body because his breathing had been raggedy and his eyes had been squeezed shut for a majority of the tattoo. You had faintly mumbled ‘cool spider… you draw it yourself?’ To which he had responded with a grunt and an affectionate ‘duh’.

Whenever his eyes had opened to look at you they had been dilated heavily, with either pain or pleasure, you’re not quite sure.

He glares over at you and shakes his head. ‘Not this fucking idiot again… what’s he done this time?’.

Chris’ patience for Max has never been there, and he’s often one to be petty about every single move your ex boyfriend makes.

Chris has never liked him and so rejoiced when he heard from you that the break up had been messy on his side of the bargain.

Max was trouble, and so you had done the right thing when breaking things off with him. However, Max wasn’t one to easily let go, and he had been pestering you to take him back ever since.

‘Just being his normal asshole self I suppose’.

You’re deliberately vague with Chris, because you don’t want him to get all riled up like he usually does. He had given up his sketch now and had fully turned to lean his back and elbows onto the counter, knowing that you telling him this information was far more important than the task at hand.

His eyes then flick to the door of the studio, where the welcome sign hangs in the centre of the glass window pane. All around the door are frames of hundreds of different tattoos, all in the different styles of each of the employees that work here. No one else is working today though, it’s just Chris and yourself maning the store.

Chris is a primarily black work realist, and so his designs take up quite a lot of time, their lifelike splendour forking cash loads of money into his bank account whenever a piece is completed.

Multiple clients of his have been here for months as Chris prefers to take his artwork in sessions so the healing isn’t as tenuous.

Quite a few of his previous works have been photographed and framed about the waiting area, just to showcase his impressive ability.

Your area of speciality is more in line with fine line tattoos, you prefer delicacy over all else and likewise, some of your bigger works have been photographed and framed about the shop.

‘You got any more scheduled clients with appointments today?’ Chris spontaneously enquires, and you can tell simply by his face that he is pondering some form of idea within his head that makes you nervous. You hesitate with your response.

‘…Emm- no, I don’t think so?’.

Chris nods mischievously and smirks with his mouth open and his tongue pushing against the side of his teeth playfully.

‘I’m gonna need a little bit more of an explanation than just ‘he’s being an asshole’ then, cherry…’ Chris sing-songs as he pushes himself from off of his slouched position and starts to exit from behind the counter.

The nickname ‘Cherry’ had caught on fairly quickly between the two of you, because Chris had thought that you honestly looked way too sweet to be working in a downtown, grungy tattoo shop. After his first usage of the fond name it had just kind of stuck and now always sounded like molten amber honey dripping from his mouth.

He puts ‘he’s being an asshole’ in knowing quotation marks because he already knows how much of an asshole Max is. He’s experienced it before whenever your ex has decided to show up to your place of work and be a nuisance.

You’re pretty sure you almost had to hold Chris back from planting a right hook into his jaw one time because he had knocked over a bunch of new inks the store had just purchased for everyone’s clients.

Chris’ jaw had clenched immeasurably and you had quickly veered in front of him to plant your palms onto his collarbones after he had taken a large stride towards Max.

You had held him back gently, telling him to take several deep breaths and keep cool whilst you dealt with it.

Well… your version of dealing with it was calmly escorting him out of the shop and reassuring him that you’d see each other later before meekly returning back into the reception area to face a fuming Chris who immediately rolled his eyes and spat a quick ‘I’m gonna ban that bitch from coming in here next time he shows his ratty lookin’ face…’

You had simply sighed, shook your head, and tenderly patted him on the shoulder.

At the present, you squirm nervously when you see the way Chris walks right up to the door, before twisting the heavy duty lock on it and flipping the welcome sign to the side that displayed a big ‘closed’ on the front that was visible to passing strangers.

‘Chris it’s not that big of a deal honestly!’ You try and laugh it off as Chris spins back around. He then walks right up to you.

Grabbing one of the other chairs at the desk you were sitting at, he turns it around so that he can comfortably straddle it.

‘Uhh, well that’s where you’re wrong because it just so happens that my favourite girl’s ex is bothering her, and if she’s gotta problem with it… then so do I’ he sassily bites back, referring to you in the third person as he rests his taut forearms onto the spine of the chair, which gives himself something to lean on.

You have to ignore the way your stomach flips when he calls you his favourite girl, and you shyly flit your eyes to the floor whilst still fumbling around with the tattoo gun.

‘Well um… he just- he just keeps uhh’ you start, stuttering and having to sigh in utter frustration at not even being able to articulate your words properly.

Suddenly your eyes feel hot, and they sting a little. You are not going to cry in front of him. You panic when your voice wobbles and try to regain your composure as Chris looks at you with a worried expression.

‘Hey- hey… s’okay cherry, s’alright. Take your time, I’m here’.

Chris notices your flustered state and coos gentle reassurance at you whilst stretching one of his hands out to softly stroke the ball of your shoulder, right on the section of naked skin where the fabric of your top straps don’t quite reach.

You want to say that Chris is just being friendly, but somehow, the way he touches you tells a different story. It could have just been a harmless pat, but instead he had curled the knuckles of his hand and used them to soothingly skim up and down your skin, slowly, repetitively… almost sensually.

Chris liked any excuse to touch you. You were so soft and supple, a major contrast to his own skin. And he hated seeing a man like that crumple you up like a simple ball of paper and toss you into the trash.

You take one last stuttering breath before continuing.

Gazing at Chris’ soft smile and focusing on the calming gleam of his nose piercing, you find yourself relaxing once again as you take your time to look at each of his individual statement pieces whilst relaying your story.

His silver nose ring, his two lobe piercings that were decorated with spiked metal hoops, and his helix piercing, that came in the form of a small snake charm. It shone in the natural light of the room as it slithered up the expanse of his cartilage and provided a nice distraction for you.

‘I don’t know… h-he’s just saying these disgusting things about my body, and- and how I’m never going to find someone that will treat me better than him in bed. Just general filthy shit like that…’ you mumble, feeling absolutely humiliated and degraded at having to tell Chris about what Max has been saying to you as you sniffle and rub your nose.

As you explain yourself, the motion of Chris stroking your arm slows up significantly, and his little smile fades with every word you speak to him. His eyes narrow, something you noticed he does whenever he’s seething with rage.

‘Gimme your phone, I wanna see these texts’ Chris quips demandingly, using the hand that was once rubbing your skin to unfold itself and silently ask for your phone.

You sigh and hand it to him without much of a fight. You know that there’s no use in trying to argue with Chris when he gets like this. He’s driven, and once he has an idea there’s rarely anything you can do to deter him from it.

He unlocks your phone, already knowing your password, and starts to scroll through the endless shower of sexually abusive messages. You bite your lip as you look at him reading them over.

He sits on the backwards chair with his jean-clad thighs casually spread out, still one arm resting on top of the spine whilst the other one holds the phone and vigorously scrolls downwards.

You then flick your eyes to his face, and the way his rosy lips wet themselves as they quietly announce some of the words that he reads back to himself. The further down he goes the more furrowed his brows get.

Suddenly he shakes his head with an angry tick and slams your phone face down onto the table. You jump slightly at this, and blink at a Chris that had immediately shot to a stand.

‘That’s it, m’not dealing with this shit anymore. If he can’t leave you the fuck alone then I’ll make him.’

You look at him in confusion.

‘What’s that supposed to mean…?’ you shyly trail off but your question is shortly answered as soon as Chris bends down to level with you and seamlessly digs his palms into your thighs so that he can pluck you up from off of your chair.

You yelp a little in shock, your heartbeat thrumming against your ribcage before you quietly recover as Chris curls your legs around his hips. Upon touch, your hands instinctively fly to grip onto the back of his neck, his skin being warm and tepid.

The scruff of his long hair feels like satin tickling over your fingers and Chris groans in achievement as soon as he feels your thighs tense against his waist.

He’s been waiting for an excuse to do this.

‘Max is tellin’ you that you’re never gonna get a better fuck than him? Well I’m about to prove him wrong, s’that okay with you, cherry?’ Chris asks, not really expecting no for an answer as he starts to walk over the squeaking floorboards to the backrooms of the shop.

He knows exactly where he’s going and something deep within your core flutters at this assertive kind of attitude.

Chris has always been the extremely blunt and forward type of guy- if you looked pretty that day, he’d tell you, and make it obvious that he was attracted to you.

Today was no different, you could tell he had every intention of fucking you and making it extremely clear to Max just how good he was going to do it.

‘Y-yeah’ is just about all you can muster in your shaky state.

As you look down at Chris’ face, his chocolatey waves tussle in a rather wild-looking way whilst nestled about his pierced ears. Your fingers timidly skim about his neck, and one of them draws nervous patterns over the black bat tattoo situated behind his right ear that he had gotten for his brother a year ago.

‘That’s my girl’ he praises cockily as he barges through the beaded entrance way into one of the client operating rooms. There’s a black leather stretcher in the centre of the room and a stool sitting idle right beside it where the artist sits.

Chris goes straight for the client table though.

He smirks a toothy grin as he plops you down onto the spongy leather and you find it within yourself to crack an equally as excited smile. He nudges open your legs so that he can stand in between them and weighs his hands down onto your hips, pressing his thumbs into your bones and rubbing them fondly.

‘Did Max kiss you at all when you two fucked?’ He asks breathlessly with his cerulean eyes lilting down to your lips hungrily.

He’s itching to get all over you. He’s been dying to taste your tongue on his for ages and it just so happens that this posed as the perfect, sneaky way to do so.

‘Well, hm… not that much, but I guess a-’ you start to explain, but ‘not much’ is enough of a pathetic answer for Chris to fall forward and engulf your lips in between his before you can finish anyway.

Your little muffled whine of shock is swallowed by a Chris that attaches himself to your bottom lip quickly.

Winding one of his hands behind your back, he uses that - and the other one gripping your hip - to yank your body towards his. You two stay flushed together, and you can feel Chris’ throbbing prick against the seam of your pants already. He’s hard, and clearly pent up for you behind his low-waisted jeans.

‘That’s not good enough’ he mumbles, almost in a tongue-drunken stupor against your lips, criticising Max so that he can subtly defend his choice to kiss you.

Really, he had no need to, but fuck did he want to.

You don’t complain, in fact, you simply sigh at how close Chris is. You can feel his nose delicately skimming against your cheek the more he twists the side of his face to gain better access to you, and you can’t help but lust for the way his dewy lips wrap around your own.

The contrast between his cold fingertips brushing against your body and his hot tongue leeching out to slip into your open mouth makes you shiver.

‘N-no you’re completely right… that’s not good enough’ you coquettishly add on to the conversation you two have in between kisses. As you shit talk Max together, you only encourage Chris to take further jabs at him.

‘And what about these pretty little things here…? Did he touch these enough?’.

Chris’ nose trails down the line of your jaw to dip and run along the jugular vein of your neck whilst he pants desperately. He holds your sat figure into his standing leant one with one hand gripping your ass whilst the other one trails up to squeeze against one of your braless tits.

Wanting Chris to play with them, your blushing figure shakes its head and you swallow thickly. ‘No…’.

Chris hums a casual ‘huh’ in playfulness before the hand playing with it decides to slip itself under your shirt for better access. You heavily hiss and arch your back as soon as skin on skin contact is reached and Chris gingerly touches your peaked nipple.

‘You make me feel like such a pervert when you don’t wear a bra to shifts we do together because I stare at them all the time…’ Chris confesses as he gently kneads one of them within his big palm. Whilst he does this, his face buries itself into your neck to pepper sprinkles of sloppy kisses all over your skin.

‘What if I told you I do it on purpose… I like it when you look…’ you breathe with your head knocked back in pleasure. Chris stops his assault on your neck to gaze at you with raised eyebrows of shock.

‘Fuck. Max was an idiot for fumbling you…’

This makes both your heart flutter and your core drip. You like Chris’ praise a lot more than you like Max’s degradation, and make sure to let Chris know this by giving him another kiss.

‘S’mommy gonna let me suck on her tits?’ He ponders in a feigned babyish voice against your lips, the sweet lilt of his sensual tone almost making you melt into the client’s table.

Your needy reply of ‘yes’ is soon followed by an immediate response from Chris, who slowly reaches into his back pocket for his phone.

He slides it out and then presents it in front of your face with his brows raised.

‘And is mommy gonna let me film it so that I can send it to Max and let him see me having my treat?’.

Your eyes flick to the phone, then to Chris’ expectant face, absolutely drowning in lust at the thought of Chris wanting to film himself sucking on your tits. You nod without hesitation, and Chris smirks in victory.

He’s definitely using this to touch himself later.

Chris quickly fumbles around with his phone in excitement, scrubbing his home screen into his camera roll before he’s pressing the small red button to record himself propping it up onto the counter right next to where you were sitting.

You watch within a trance as Chris feeds his hands into the bottom of your top to sensually slide it right up your ribs. He then runs it over the top of your tits and leaves it to rest above them with a purr of ‘good girl’.

You feel your knees get physically weaker at the sight of Chris veering his face down into your tits, his mouth almost feathers against them as both of you look at the camera at the same time.

Chris has a little victorious smirk on his face, that he smugly flashes to his phone before turning back in and gently kissing your nipple.

He can’t stop his conniving smile as you seal your eyes shut and throw your head back, whimpering with your fingers combed into the back of his hair and tugging on it. Chris makes a show of poking out his tongue and licking you before he fully kisses one of your tits into his mouth to suck on it.

He moans a little starved whimper at the feeling of your soft flesh in his mouth whilst his tongue rolls and his teeth clamp down onto you.

His hands get grabby as you pant, listening to the way the microphone of the camera absorbs the sloppy sounds of him sucking on your skin whilst he kisses and licks wherever he can.

‘That feel good huh?’ Chris mumbles into you, and you whine in response with a stuttered ‘so- so good’. He nods cockily, eying the camera with your second tit already in between his teeth. ‘Yeah? This the best mouth you’ve ever had?’.

Struggling to fight off his smile at the comment he completely stole from Max, he knows it’ll make your ex’s blood boil, especially when you reply with an instantaneous shout of, ‘fuck- yes, I- I need more baby!’.

‘You want more?’ He drawls temptingly, pulling away from your chest that was now red and glistening, some sections littered with subtle teeth marks and some with purpling hickies.

‘I’ll give you more baby’ he laughs through his teeth before pressing his fingertips onto your core.

‘Hope you’re soaking for me, you’re gunna need it’ he quips before lightly trailing his hand up to the button of your zipper.

Your core clenches again when he pops it open, the insinuation that you need to be extra wet for him because of his size making you want to pass out in horniness.

He opens the front of your jeans before feeding his hands underneath your thighs so that he can pull you towards him and also force you onto your back to tug your jeans down.

After that, he watches the way you squirm when he sticks his fingers into the side of your sheer panties. In view of the camera, the pad of his thumb swipes up your slit as he checks your sensitivity himself.

‘Awe angel you are soaked… what a good girl for me’.

His sweet praise melts over you in the best way possible, and you can’t help but get shy and cover up your eyes to smile.

Sometimes you forget that the camera is there, but Chris never does, and he glances over at it constantly to smirk as if Max is already watching on the other end of the line before turning his attention back to admire you.

‘I’m gonna make that pretty pussy feel so fucking good momma’ Chris boldly states as he starts to fumble around with his chunky and glamorously rhinestoned belt buckle. The leather of it flaps and his buckle gives a metallic jingle whilst he undoes it, his hair falling in front of his eyes because of the downwards slant his head holds.

‘Please- I really need you’ you mumble breathlessly, spreading your legs even further in reaction to seeing the stretch of his cock against his white Calvin Klein boxers as soon as he lets his jeans drop to the floor with a heavy crumple.

From here you can see his thigh tattoo of a crooked spiders web, done in extremely fine ink, delicate but dark.

‘I know you need me baby I know- be patient alright?’ He shushes you with a reassuring coo, before sliding to the side of you and hopping up onto the table himself. He positions himself right in front of his still recording phone so that he can get the best angle for this.

‘Why don’t you go ahead an’ take off those panties for the camera sweet girl… do it for me?’.

Chris’ whiny sounding voice is just so sugary and compelling. You’re pretty sure you would do anything he asked if it really came to that extreme because along with his voice, his lips and eyes really did the trick for you.

Chris stutters a breath as soon as he pushes his hand down his boxers to take ahold of his hot, silky cock, it’s skin already wet with precome at just how divine you had sounded whilst he was attached to your tits.

He tightens his fist to squeeze himself and throbs in his hand, his mouth dropping open and his shoulders heaving as you slide off the table and strip from your clothes fully.

As soon as you’re done, you can feel your wetness trickling and sloshing about your folds, and so you squeeze your thighs together when looking at Chris for his next instruction.

Chris hungrily gazes down to your panties that lie in a messy heap on top of your jeans. ‘Gimme those?’ He commands and gestures for you to grab a hold of your panties and give them over to him, which you do obediently and without question.

Chris grasps ahold of them and balls them up into his fist before smirking at the camera once again. ‘These are mine now… so’s your pussy’.

You turn red at this low and beastly remark, trying hard not to pounce on top of Chris for saying it. He talks so smoothly. It’s as if every word his mouth forms puts you under a lemony haze of pleasure and you just can’t get enough of it.

You just don’t understand how he can keep this up when you yourself already look like a fucked-out hot mess.

‘I’m all yours Chris’

You practically flee into his awaiting arms, and he hoists your bare and pink centre over his lap.

Kissing your tits again, he grips onto your fleshy thighs and moans a whimper whilst side eyeing the camera in ultimate possessiveness, just to make a show of it being him who’s sucking your tits, and not Max.

He’s going to feel so smug and proud of himself as soon as he sends this his way.

‘Can I have your cock Chris, please?’ You beg, stroking his waves of hair once again to butter him up - not that you’d really need to work all that much to have his cock in the first place…

‘Of course you can Cherry, you’ve been so good for me’ Chris replies as his fingertips stroke against your stretch marks, before he leans in and whispers ‘help yourself…’.

You glance down to the tent in his boxers with your lip bitten and a giddy little smirk on your face. After Chris invites you, you waste no time in pulling his weeping cock from out of the restraints of his boxers.

The hip tattoo he has of a Cupid with angel wings, a halo and a winking face soon makes itself known to you after you tug his underwear down a little further. The ink of the little boy’s heart-encrusted bow and arrow cheekily point right to the base of Chris’ cock, and so you crack a smile, shaking your head fondly at Chris’ inappropriate but witty humour.

He’s thick and throbs in your hand, his tip sticky and slick as it pulses a light pink taffy colour whilst a thick blue vein pokes itself out from the side of his length to travel right down to his base. ‘Fuck’ you breathe. Chris looks at you cockily and is very much pleased with your wanton response.

‘Want you to sit on it till it hurts and you can’t no more precious girl’ he mumbles as he hitches your hips up into his hands and lifts you above him. You nod with a little ‘Uhuh’, your stomach flipping and oozing to feel the stretch of him. He’s bigger than Max, and the thought makes you careen in pleasure.

You almost forget that you two are both supposed to be at work, because all of this feels so private and intoxicating, and the implication of Chris making it into sex tape gives you life.

As soon as you’re placed on top of him, you hold his base so that you can sink down properly, and both of you choke out whines at how fucking amazing it feels.

‘Shit… still tight honey… has Max really been using you properly or is his cock just that small?’.

Chris can’t help it. He gets off on criticising your priggish ex boyfriend because he truly fucking hates his guts. And damn does it feel good to be fucking you with the intention of letting the man himself know through the recording of it.

‘Fuck, I feel so full’ you speak into the air.

You then have to bite your hand so that you don’t draw tears because of the burning stretch Chris gives you. It’s almost unbearably uncomfortable for the first minute of bottoming out.

But then it stops being uncomfortable and starts making you squirm again at needing some form of friction to move yourself.

So you do.

Lifting your hips slightly, you slip back downwards and grind forwards at the same time whilst Chris looks up at you with star-ridden irises. They twinkle in the light and he pants heavily after every time you move.

He soon starts to naturally move himself, needing to respond to you in some sort of way.

He loves watching your tits bounce whilst you rise and fall onto his cock, the sticky slickness of it slapping within his ears and making him want to come all over your insides already. You squeeze him so fucking well, and he equally stretches you out to the limit.

The rough skin of his prick steadily rubs against your walls and ignites an explosion of sensitivity within your centre whenever Chris pushes himself far enough to hit your g-spot. He’s so big he almost bulges from your stomach.

‘Who owns this pussy, who does it belong to?’ He barks as you squeeze your eyes closed and scrunch your nose up, having to slam your head onto his shoulder because of your overstimulation in pleasure.

You stutter out a quick ‘ugh- y-you’ as you feel Chris’ fingers grab onto your hips because of their slowing roll. He digs them into your skin and starts to move you himself at an even faster pace which makes you whine even louder.

‘Sorry… not quite sure Max heard you- can you say that again for me Cherry?’ Chris meanly rebutts and makes your cheeks flame red after he actually takes his palm and harshly swats it against the side of your thigh. You yelp at the brash cracking sound the sweaty skin-on-skin contact creates, but nevertheless still cry a humiliated ‘you!’.

Chris praises you immediately after with a soothing ‘that’s right… good girl’, before starting up his sly and conniving antics once again.

‘And whose name are you gonna be screaming from now on hmm?’.

Chris’ little taunting hum is fucking petty. But also, just what you need to finally cum.

‘Yours Chris! Fuck- all yours!!’.

You’re almost shouting as you arch your spine and throw your head back in ecstasy whilst your legs quiver and an almighty wave of euphoria rushes over your whole entire being.

‘Awe baby… cumming already? I was just getting started…’ Chris coos cockily as he lets go of one of your hips to soothingly stroke against your back with a pretty pout on his lips.

However that pout doesn’t stay for long because it struggles to fight the smirk that quickly overtakes his facial expression at the thought of how quickly he had made you cum.

He glances at the camera once more, to admire the position the both of you were in with dilated eyes, before focusing back onto you and speedily forcing your hips up and down a couple more times to finish himself off.

You squeak and claw at him in overstimulated pain, whining for him to slow down, but all he does is gently hush you in comfort. ‘I know shhh, I know. Wanna make sure I fill you up nice and good though baby’.

His voice is so gentle, and in lulls you into a drooling stupor with tears in your eyes as you claw at his tattooed back with your sharp nails. That’s going to leave heafty scratch marks.

Chris is tempted to wipe them away, but doesn’t have enough time before he’s groaning loudly and his tip is uncontrollable squirting out thick ropes of cum.

He bounces your hips a couple more times to get rid of as much as he possibly can. He wants to see it practically leaking from out of your abused hole. After he thinks you’ve milked him dry, he lets go of your bruised waist and you crumple back down into his embrace.

He rubs your back as you try to desperately regain your breath with your core raw, stinging and slimy with Chris’ cum.

‘There’s my good girl… taking all of me like that. Swear I’ll give you my babies next time you take me that well.’ He absentmindedly praises you for the last time, and you find it within yourself to laugh in disbelief, shaking your head before you slap his shoulder and lean upwards to look at him in the eyes once more.

‘Okay… you’ve proved your point. Now stop recording so I can kiss you a little more.’

Your thumbs stroke the bags underneath his eyes, and his smile is so sunny that you’re sure it could have opened up flowers on a dewy spring morning.

‘Yes ma’am…’

. ♱ .

Later that evening, Chris had sat alone in the tattoo parlour.

He had told you that you could go home early and that he’d sanitise the rooms and lock up as a special treat for you.

You had done as you were told and left a while ago, which left Chris to watch back the sex tape that you two had made earlier with a mean and satisfied smirk slapped over his lips.

He had rewatched it about 3 times, admiring the way both of you had moved with the volume all the way up to listen to your heavenly sounding whimpers. He had replayed his favourite bits a great deal and was fucking obsessed. He couldn’t help himself.

He had then exited the camera app and went straight into Instagram, searching up Max’s account profile to slide into his DMs.

With one final smirk, he had bitten his lip victoriously and selected the video of you and him together before attaching it and typing one final thing before clicking the send button and locking his phone.

Might wanna think next time you make bold allegations about how she’ll never find a better D x

. ♱ .

Author’s notes p.2: guys I’m actually so sorry for disappearing off the face of Tumblr for fuck knows how long without an explanation. Truthfully there isn’t really much of an explanation apart from the fact that I’ve simply been too busy to write (and have also had major writers block atm- hence me and @luv4kozume collab taking so long lol). BUT I’m back with something that has actually turned into one of my favourite pieces of writing on this blog, so I hope it’s been worth the wait!! I love all of you guys for asking where I’ve been and equally as much for missing me. I’ve missed writing for you guys so much and am absolutely obsessed with tattoo artist!Chris, also don’t worry you guys, you’ll get cherry popper 3 one of these days lmao… Anyways, until next time cherry pies!! 🍒

Taglist: @luverboychris @lovingmattysposts @luvmila444 @luv4kozume @stursweet @strniohoeee @strawberrysturniolo @thesturniolos @sturniolosreads @vecnasnose0 @meanttomeet @ellie-luvsfics @matthemunch @mattsleftnipple03 @robins-scoop @asturniolos @imwetforyourmom @nicksmainbitch @sturnioloenthusiast @breeloveschris @kvtie444 @rootbeerworshiper @chr1sgirl4life @hrt-attack @gigisworldsstuff @stargirlsturniololover @imlidewwallyhittingdagwiddy @sturniololoverr @jahlisa22 @bernardsgf @luvasr @meg-sturniolo @blahbel668 @liz-stxrn @sturnreblog @ratatioulle @isabellehoran @1800chokedathoe @sturnsmadl @sturniolossmut @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattslolita @sturniolowhore @skadltmf @sturniolosstar @luvsturns @mattestrella @hearts4chriss @orangeypepsi

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader

[milkyluxe]

Just for tonight

My entry for day 4 of KagiHira week 2023 Prompt: needy Please be considerate with me, It's been literally over a decade since I last wrote a fanfic, but what can I say? these boys got me down BAD So this is basically Hirano being needy. Set in the winter where Kagi is a 2nd year and Hirano is about to graduate. He's stressed and anxious. Enjoy! :) Also a biiiig thanks to my bestie @cutiesaur for being my beta reader. She really helped a lot! <3

Just for tonight

Physics. Yes, he should study physics a bit more…make sure he knows all of the formula variations there could ever be. Perhaps, he should go over all the problems again? Or  maybe it was a better idea to study maths? Just a bit more wouldn’t hurt to make sure he was on top of every problem he could need to solve. Maybe he should eat. When was the last time he stood up?...How long had he been in this trance? Ugh, he should tidy up his desk. All the mess inside his head couldn’t…or shouldn’t be also present in the physical world. Taiga Hirano grunted. Goddamit, why can’t days be 36 hours, right? 

“Hirano-san”, his roommate's voice snapped him out of his clustered focus mode, “are you gonna stay up late again?”. Akira Kagiura was already laying on his bed, pretending to read a fashion magazine, but in reality he hadn’t turned the pages in over thirty minutes. He had spent the whole time staring at Hirano, not because he was oh so in love with him, but because the blonde hadn’t moved a muscle in hours; no, in days. 

College entrance exams were just around the corner. Kagi had always known how much of a dedicated student Hirano was, he admired him for it, but these past days he had the impression his senior was pushing himself way too hard. It had been a little over a week since he had started ignoring the “lights out” time and kept studying on his desk with a little desk lamp that couldn’t be good for his eyes. He went down to the dining hall just to mindlessly shove food down his throat the fastest he physically could. Kagiura was  sure he wasn’t chewing  properly. “Sorry… I really need to go back up and study”, Hirano had been  excusing himself, but did he really need to study that much?

It’s just the last spurt. That’s what Hirano thought. 

“Uh -Yes, I- …Yes, I think so”, he finally answered with his head clearly still in his notes. “Is the light too bright? Does it make it hard for you to fall asleep?"

“If I say yes, will you stop studying and go to sleep too?” Kagi asked. He  somewhat regretted the tone in which that sentence came out, more annoyed about the light and less worried about his beloved; the latter being how he truthfully felt. Hirano turned on his chair and looked at the brunette for a while, or at least what felt like a while to Kagi. Hirano had a similar gaze in his eyes as the one he had had when Kagi first met him. “No” he said plainly. 

Now Kagiura was mad. The man he loved was so smart and reasonable, yet this attitude was self-destructive. Yeah, okay, the blonde had said countless times how his priorities were and always had been his studies, but putting them even over his health? It was irritating and it seemed like he knew and just didn’t care. All that was in Hirano’s mind was being as ready as he could be for those exams. 

“You’ve been doing this the whole week. Your body can’t possibly handle this treatment  much longer. You know…Tomorrow is sunday, you can catch some sleep today and tomorrow  you can keep studying if you want-” 

“If I want?!?!” Kagi was sort of cut off by Hirano’s sudden outburst. “Do you think I’m doing this for fun? My whole future and everything I’ve been working for in these past years depend on me scoring a high enough grade on the entrance exams next week!” Hirano hissed. He was incensed, he wasn’t being himself. 

Kagi kept silent for a bit, he limited himself to  stare at Hirano with those deep brown eyes of his. Hirano seemed as  if  he was holding his breath. He had raised his voice to Kagi, his precious roommate, and that didn’t happen often. “You are  the first person to tell me that taking breaks is something healthy, that I cannot strain my body  so that  it exceeds its limits all the time, yet that’s what you’ve been doing. All these past days and nights, it’s like there’s a magnet on your desk” the younger man said firmly. “You are  better than this, Hirano. I know that you know better than to-” 

“I’m scared” Hirano’s gaze was down, his body tensed up on the chair. He had verbalised that so fast, Kagiura even doubted if he had heard him  right. “You’re scared?” asked Kagiura to make sure he had heard correctly. “Every minute I’m not studying I feel like I’m wasting time. My head gets flooded with horrible scenarios… What if I can’t answer something I thought I knew perfectly… Should I have studied more? What if I don’t make it? What am I supposed to do then?” his voice was starting to crack.

Upon hearing that faint change of tone in Hirano’s voice, Kagi jumped out from his bed as quickly as he could and kneeled in front of Hirano to meet his gaze. He looked up at him, a silent way of saying “I’m listening to you”. Inside his mind, Kagi was fighting the urge to take his beloved blonde into his arms and console him, alas Kagi knew that, in this state, the other would only retaliate. Instead, he gently placed one of his hands on Hirano’s knee to encourage him to vent some more. 

Brows furrowed, Hirano raised his hands to his forehead, then his temples. He was extremely tense and he knew it, he was only realising this now that he didn’t remember being not tense for the last few days. “I can’t stop,” he said in a tiny voice. “I’m sorry I snapped at you… It’s just that… I feel like I’m drowning”, he stated with one hand partially covering his face. He looked at Kagiura, who was still on his knees looking at him. He didn’t need to say anything, his very expressive eyes spoke for him. Hirano was always glad for how Kagiura kept him grounded without him  knowing it. He felt as if he gave him some sort of sense of purpose and direction. He was a pillar to him. Though he still hadn’t been able to name what he felt for his junior, he was certain they were all positive things, even if he had been ignoring him these past days. He recalled what Kagi said earlier, he was right, he needed to take a break. He was burnt out, exhausted, and anxious, but seeing his roommate’s face brought him some comfort. “You’re probably not even retaining anything anymore, like, your brain is lacking nutrients” Kagiura stated as if he was a hundred percent sure that’s what was happening. Hirano chuckled. “You’re so stupid”, he teased him with a faint smile on his face. He took the hand that was resting on his knee, held it and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you, Kagi. You’re absolutely right, I should stop…that is for today at least”. Kagiura smiled and squeezed his hand back. He got up, not letting go of Hirano’s hand, “I have no doubts that you’re going to make it, Hirano-san, but you really have to get some rest. You always look very beautiful to me, but those dark circles aren't flattering around your pretty blue eyes”. “Ugh” Hirano took his hand away and hid his very much blushed face. “Okay, whatever, let’s sleep then, it is past lights out time anyway” It had been a little over a year since Kagiura confessed, and they had been through so much, but Hirano still wasn’t sure how to react when the other one blurted out his thoughts and feelings like that. But as he had told him himself once: Kagi went straight for the throat with his words and, once again, he had to be thankful for it. “I’m not gonna turn off the lights until I’m completely sure you’re tucked in your bed” Kagiura said as he stood waiting for Hirano to crawl into his bed and lay on it the same way you would stare at a pet that got caught in the middle of  mischief and got  scolded for it. “Are you gonna do it yourself, then?” The blonde immediately regretted his words. With any other person, that would’ve come off as a goofy little threat-joke; but, given the current state of his relationship with Kagiura and how the sleepy brat tended to take things literally...He had positioned himself in a dangerous situation . He cleared his throat and blushed. Again. Kagiura blushed too because the amount of times he had dreamt of taking Hirano to bed was insane. 

After some awkward seconds, the youngest said “I don’t think you should set an alarm for tomorrow. You should really sleep as much as your body needs. If I wake up first, I’ll be sure to be as quiet as possible. Oh! But I’ll wake you up if breakfast time is running out, you must  eat properly too, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day. If you want, I can get you some of the snacks I eat before training if you want to feel more energised-” at this point Kagiura realised Hirano was staring at him with a joyous look on his face, the kind gaze  that made Kagi think Hirano was also in love with him. “Right, sorry, I’ll shut up” Hirano snickered, he got into his bed, bundling up under his covers. “Thank you, Kagi… I mean it” he said as he rested  his head on the pillow. Kagiura turned off the lights.

_______

Taiga Hirano envied and admired a lot of things about his roommate, one of those things being his ability to fall asleep immediately, and virtually anywhere. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Kagi had turned off the lights, but he felt as if he had been shuffling around on his bed for hours. Had  it been of any worth  that Kagiura had managed to get him off the desk relatively early if he was still awake, thrashing around thinking about the exams? Oh no, here it comes again, the feeling of wasting time. He felt irate at himself. Why couldn't he just fall asleep quickly? He wished he could just switch his body off, like an electronic device. He couldn’t help himself to keep ruminating on those thoughts of worry and inadequacy… Oh! And, on top of that, he had also made poor sweet Kagi worry about him. This wasn’t good. His chest felt tight, his thoughts were rushing on his mind and felt as if they were surrounded by thorns, he couldn’t find a position where his body didn’t feel itchy. He wasn’t foolish enough to get up and start studying now, he knew he needed to rest, but this was  useless, he needed his mind to wander somewhere else. He sat up and glanced to his left towards the direction where Kagi’s bed was. He appeared to be sleeping profoundly. 

Aah, fuck it. 

“Kagi” Hirano whispered, hoping it would be enough to wake up Mr. Sleeping Beauty. He knew from experience that it hardly would be, though, so he sat at the bed of the other boy and shook him  lightly, “Kagi” he repeated .

“..hmmh?” a very dazed and sleepy Kagiura mumbled, one eye opened. “Scoot over” Hirano said with a calmness in his voice that was proportional to the knot of nerves he felt inside. It’s not like he hadn’t slept with Kagiura before, they had fallen asleep on the floor sometimes in their study sessions,  they had also leant on each other on long bus rides if they took a trip somewhere… but actually getting in his bed was… different. Hirano felt a bit guilty. Was he taking advantage of him? He knew he wouldn’t refuse. Was he being selfish? He still remembered that time when Kagi couldn’t sleep well because he was too self-conscious of sharing a room with the person he had a crush on…that was a long time ago though, and they were way past that stage. 

Also, Kagiura himself had told him he wanted him to be needy, and this was what he wanted right now. Without fully understanding what was happening, mainly because he was pretty much with one foot in reality and consciousness and the other one on Morpheus’ realm, Kagiura  squirmed towards the side of the wall, and the next thing he knew was that he had Hirano between his arms. Now he was fully awake. “Hirano-san, what happened? Are you okay?” Kagi asked, concerned. “...It's just… I can’t sleep,” Hirano answered, the sound  partially lost as he had buried his face in Kagi’s chest.  It was his way of saying “I don’t want to talk anymore”, the blonde tugged at Kagi’s pajamas and squeezed him into a hug. Kagi understood. He shifted his body a bit more so that Hirano could lay more comfortably on him… well, at least as comfortable as those miniscule  single beds would allow them. He held his beloved senior in his arms. Hirano had his head on Kagiura’s chest-shoulder-arm. One of his arms was folded awkwardly between their bodies and the other one was around his junior, holding him tightly. He could hear Kagi’s heartbeat, which he had expected to raise up, but it didn’t. Wasn’t he disrupted by the fact that his crush had just barged into his bed? Maybe this was wrong and he shouldn’t have made his way into his junior’s bed. Doing something as intimate as sharing a bed was…risky, giving he was also still not sure he felt the same way. Then again, whatever impulse made him want to sleep with him had been right, he already felt a little bit better. The night was cold, it was winter after all, and Kagiura was very, very warm. Hirano was somewhat glad these beds were so narrow, they forced him to cling extremely close to Kagi; it was his only option. Whatever thoughts that were making him feel bad about giving Kagiura mixed signals were now redirected at himself, accusing his own actions  for quite possibly turning a  blind eye on his very own feelings for his roommate. 

He had willingly approached his roommate to lay between his arms after all, and, by god, it was everything he had hoped it would be and more. After a short while, he felt Kagi’s fingers caress his hair lightly, softly, cautiously. Hirano got angry at the thought that maybe Kagi was taking this as the pointless ten second thing they used to do. He shouldn’t hesitate to touch him, for heaven’s sake! So, as a way to reassure that physical contact between them was more than okay now, Hirano snuggled more into Kagi’s chest and leaned his head into his hand as he caressed his hair,  just like when a cat wants to be petted. It was working. His head was being drained from all of the overwhelming thoughts and worries of the exams and instead, thoughts of his beloved Akira Kagiura were starting to sprout. Hirano was thinking of Kagi’s body, which was now extremely close to him, and how it barely fit in the bed, lengthwise. He was thinking about the fact that Kagi felt broader than what he looked; it was funny how the brunette was always so eager to touch him yet he was so reluctant to show off his muscles. Those muscles… Now Hirano could feel them, and it was doing things to his mind. He decided it was not the time to pay too much attention to those thoughts… not now. Kagiura’s other hand had found its way to Hirano’s back, and it was gently caressing him there too, with a small linear motion with his thumb. This felt extremely relaxing and Hirano was delighted; either he would fall asleep, which was what he much wanted and needed, or he would remain enjoying all of the sensations his roommate was making him feel, which were a bunch of fuzzy warm emotions. 

He didn’t want to think much of when he would ever get the chance to share a bed with Kagiura again, or even if he would. Perhaps going over what his feelings for Kagi actually were wasn’t the best idea now. Hirano was just grateful there was someone in his life he could depend on and lean on when he felt as if the ground wasn’t there anymore, like he was losing himself. The mere action of laying down and cuddling with Kagiura made everything else seem so inconsequential. It was just them, their bodies now very intertwined, as  Kagi had locked their legs together at some point, both of their breaths now in sync, and Kagi’s soothing heartbeat which made Hirano calm down drastically. The petting on the head stopped, and Hirano took this as a sign that his dear Kagi was definitely falling back to sleep. The older boy moved his head a bit to look at his source of bliss. Kagiura had rested his head to almost lay on top of Hirano’s, and because of the sudden movement, he got alerted and opened his eyes. Blue met brown. 

They held their gazes for a while. Kagiura appeared to be waiting for Hirano to say something, and Hirano seemed to be waiting for Kagiura to do something. 

Kagi smiled softly and asked “are you comfortable?”; his voice was low and raspy, he had bedhead and, from up this close, Hirano could see just how handsome he really, truly was. He got overwhelmed, but in a good way, because he understood the sheer amount of self-control Kagi must have been exerting right there to place his needs first. It was  like he understood everything, all at once. The raw, intense, intrinsic love Kagi felt for him, he was really feeling it now, it was like being struck by thunder. Hirano wished this sensation was eternal. If he had done it a little harder, Hirano would’ve practically headbutted Kagiura on his chest when he leant down on him again, squeezing him tight. “Very much so” Hirano answered, but again his voice was partially lost in the fabric of Kagiura’s hoodie. He felt Kagi also snug him closer, take a deep breath and then he was pretty sure he felt faint kisses on the top of his head. He  probably didn’t mind it at this time, all this cuddling was the perfect sleeping pill after all. 

___

When he opened his eyes, Hirano felt plenty confused: he saw his own bed, but he wasn’t on it. “Oh my god, did I die out of stress? Am I a spirit now?” He began to freak out, but was eventually distracted by how overly warm his back felt, and how his duvet felt heavier than usual. It felt as if it was almost wrapped around him… and it also smelt a lot like his roommate. Oh. Right.

They must have shifted during the night (as one normally does) because now Kagiura was spooning Hirano, who needed a few seconds after waking up to finish the puzzle on his mind and remember all that had happened last night. Carefully, as to not wake the other up, who, unsurprisingly, was still asleep, Hirano reached out for the alarm clock Kagi kept on the headrest of his bed, the one he had gifted him on his past birthday. It was a little past 9 a.m. Way later than the time they usually got up, but still not too late to have breakfast. Hirano sat up on the bed and woke Kagi up. After all, if they weren’t out of the room soon, Hanzawa was probably going to knock on their door out of suspicion and, for once, he would’ve been right. 

With a hand lightly shaking Kagiura’s torso, the blonde called for his junior’s name in a soft voice. When Kagiura opened his eyes, he was greeted with a view so dazzling he also thought  he had died and gone to heaven: the morning sun rays were leaking from their window, and the ones that didn’t reach him directly, were being blocked by Hirano, with his golden hair, his fair skin, his shining blue eyes, the morning sun creating a halo around his figure. His brain malfunctioned and, all he managed to say after some babbling, was “...what?” 

Hirano giggled, Kagi genuinely seemed absent-minded. “Don’t you “what” me, get up!” he said as he gave a quick spank to Kagi’s hip. Kagiura was sure he was now dead because there was no way Hirano just did that; but on the other hand, he was happy, because Hirano had a completely different look on his face: he looked rested, refreshed, lively. 

“Good morning, Hirano-san” Kagi finally managed to say, and smiled.

#kagihiraweek2023 #hirano to kagiura #hirakagi #kagihira #akira kagiura #taiga hirano

[irkimatsu]

Jesus Christ I’m cutting it close. Happy Eurovision Week! Ranking time!

Every year, I use a ranking tool - this year it’s https://songfestival.be/eurovision-song-contest-2024-sorter/ because the one I usually use doesn’t include Azerbaijan or Israel for some reason. Then I talk about how the ranking turned out! Expect ballads/”serious” songs to end up clumped at the bottom because I’m a basic-ass bitch! This is more apparent than ever this year, because the lineup is absolutely insane. I love all the energy, and it just makes the ballads fall even flatter for me, because why would I listen to this when I could be telling a cat to meow back? Don’t expect any well-studied analysis here. What’s been my refrain every year?

(“Irk still listens to Scooch!”)

There ya go, you got it. Categories are:

Dislike: I genuinely hate listening to this. I think this is the first time I’ve put more than one song in this category - I can forgive a lot - but this year has extenuating circumstances and a genuinely annoying song. Goodie!

Indifferent: I have literally nothing to say about this. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s so distant from anything I would listen to on purpose. AKA the “Irk has shit taste” tier.

Okay: It’s fine? Maybe there’s one part I enjoy, or maybe it’s a song I respect more than I like - either way, I feel like it deserves better than “indifferent”, but a better tier than this seems dishonest.

Like: Now we’re getting into the stuff I genuinely enjoy! These are the songs I’d love to see qualify! Always bound to be at least one in here that doesn’t have a chance in hell, but let me dream!

Love: My top 5 for the year! This year’s top 5 is full of nonsense and I am gleeful

Ranking and comments under the cut!

—

Hate:

37. Israel - “Hurricane” by Eden Golan

Ugh… look. When it became clear that Israel weren’t getting the boot this year, I tried, I really tried, to embrace the “music and not politics” angle. The broadcaster and the artist have nothing to do with the government’s sickening choices and shouldn’t be punished just because their higher-ups fucking suck. (I’m an American, I’m not exactly in the best position to blame citizens for their countries’ leaders!) But then all that bullshit with the submission period happened. Three rejected entries on political grounds?! After a certain point the broadcaster had to be playing stupid, and really should have been slapped down after Bullshit #2. I was actually on board with the theory that they were trying to get disqualified on purpose so they could play the victim and not have to withdraw themselves.

But then, somehow, they got accepted, and with what? A sludgy ballad that isn’t even about anything. This wouldn’t be dead last this year if not for the background behind it, but it’d definitely score low, and the background behind its presence just sours any remaining taste I could possibly have for it. I don’t even have much to say about the song compared to all the bullshit behind the scenes. Let this die in the semi where it belongs.

Well, it could be worse. I usually love the Israeli entry. That would have been awkward…

36. Greece - “Zari” by Marina Satti

TA! TA! TA! TA! TA! This song is the audio equivalent of being hit in the head with a sledgehammer and I hate it. The high-pitched singing doesn’t do it for me either. Maybe there’s some impressive technical skill here that I’m too stupid to understand, like Spain last year, but that can’t change the fact that this song is a three-minute headache. Pass.

Indifferent:

35. Portugal - “Grito” by Iolanda

There’s always at least one song that I cannot get to stick in my head no matter how many times I listen to it, and this is one of them. Hard to rank a song when I can never remember what it sounds like. Just not my thing. Portugal and I are so rarely friends in this contest, and I’ve come to make peace with this.

34. France - “Mon Amour” by Slimane

I feel like this is an opinion that will get me slammed with tomatoes. This is another entry that every contest has - the beautiful, heartfelt ballad with impressive vocals… that bores me to death. At least I can usually remember how it goes, I guess? Still not for me. It’ll rank well anyway and my opinion means nothing. Moving on!

33. Azerbaijan - “Özünlə apar” by FAHREE feat. Ilkin Dovlatov

Take what I said about France and paste it here; heartfelt ballad, impressive vocals, bores me. Whatever. I actually don’t know the chances of this one qualifying, but personally, I’m not cheering it on.

32. Serbia - “Ramonda” by Teya Dora

Oh, Serbia, what happened? I loved how experimental the past two years were, and now we have “Ramonda”, which I just can’t find any enjoyment in. I’ve seen people call this one experimental as well, but I don’t really get it? The lyrics are certainly artsy, but musically it’s just another sparse ballad. I might be a bit daft.

31. Albania - “TiTAN” by Besa

Get all your decade-old anime jokes out of the way now. Good? Good. As for the song… well, I do like it slightly better than the earlier entries, but it’s also just kind of… here? There’s nothing wrong with it, but nothing all that right with it, either. It’s bound to get drowned out by much more interesting entries.

30. Denmark - “Sand” by Saba

When Sean Fay Wolfe does his 100-song countdowns, he always has long stretches where he doesn’t have much to say beyond “this sure is a song all right”, and I think we’re in that stretch for me. Nothing wrong with it, just not something I ever go out of my way to listen to. I think this is why the ranking took so long this year - there’s so many songs I just don’t have anything to say about!

29. Germany - “Always On The Run” by Isaak

“I am nothing but the average, though I’m special to some” is a good line! Other than that, though, this one took a bit to stick for me. I don’t hate it, I just don’t have anything particularly interesting to say. God, what a boring post. I’ll get more interesting soon, promise.

28. Poland - “The Tower” by Luna

Yeah, I guess it’s cute! There’s just so many other songs I like more. This is a bad year for basic pop songs, they’re getting drowned out by the insanity later on

Okay:

27. Belgium - “Before The Party’s Over” by Mustii

This is a big “I don’t love it as much as a lot of people, but I certainly respect it and want it to do well” song for me this year. It’s just such a grand-sounding song! I wish it luck, even if I don’t have much to say about it!

26. Georgia - “Firefighter” by Nutsa Buzaladze

Oh, I won’t lie, the firefighter imagery is cheesy as fuck - but it’s kind of endearing in a way! I’ve gotta like it at least a little, even if it’s a bit basic!

25. Sweden - “Unforgettable” Marcus & Martinus

Another year, another slickly produced dance-pop song from Sweden. Well, gotta do what you’re known for, I guess! I wouldn’t describe this song as “unforgettable”, there’s no way this is getting them two wins in a row, but it’s fun enough as radio filler.. (Is it just me or does part of this sound like it was ripped right out of a Daft Punk song? To the point where I was sure it was a direct sample, but couldn’t track it down for the life of me. It still drives me nuts every time I listen to it.)

24. Slovenia - “Veronika” by Raiven

I just can’t put my finger on why this song entrances me so much, which keeps it from getting a high ranking - I like understanding what I see in a song - but it’s a nice one. I’m expecting an interesting stage performance! The music video sure is a thing, at any rate!

23. Luxembourg - “Fighter” by Tali

Welcome back, Luxembourg! This is the first time I’ve been here to see you perform - American babies weren’t exactly keeping up with the Contest back in 1993! It’s not the grandest entry to return with, to be sure, but Eurovision always needs its empowerment anthems, and this is a pleasant one.

22. Australia - “One Mikali (One Blood)” by Electric Fields

I love the use of the Yankunytjatjara language here - it’s always so good when countries send something rare in the contest that only they authentically could. The imagery is nice, too! Even if it’s not a favorite by pure subjective standards, this one deserves a good placement.

21. Cyprus - “Liar” by Silia Kapsis

Gotta like a good, catty pop song. It’s not the best catty pop song of the year, but it’s fun!

20. Malta - “Loop” by Sarah Bonnici

Yes, this is just “SloMo” again, but hey, I liked “SloMo”. Looking forward to the staging, which will inevitably be completely horny. (No lines about covering your lover’s face in mango juice, though. The honeypot line isn’t nearly as hilariously brazen. Points deducted.)

19. Norway - “Ulveham” by Gåte

I actually lost my results for my first attempt at the ranking and had to do them again, and in that attempt this ranked even lower. Oops. I really, truly wish I could connect better with this song! I wish I wasn’t the sort of idiot that liked “My AI” and “Damdiggida” better! But here we are! I respect it a lot, fully expect it to rank well, wouldn’t be surprised if it wins. But to say I like it subjectively…? That might be overselling it a little. Well, my opinion doesn’t matter, it’ll win no matter what a silly little Internet blog has to say about it. I’m gonna go listen to “My AI” again, give me a minute

Like:

18. Italy - “La Noia” by Angelina Mango

Ooh, this one’s fun! It’s a nice, unique sounding entry that I’m having fun with! Wish I had more to say! Whoops!

17. Moldova - “In The Middle” by Natalia Barbu

Sometimes, a ballad will strike me just right, and Moldova’s managed to pull it off this year. “I want you to be happy all of my life, my beautiful angel, a work of art…” Twice in a row, the Moldovan entry is so sweetly in love, and even my crunchy shriveled heart can’t resist it.

(...also I might have recently developed a weakness for love songs that make references to flying and wings. Shhhh.)

16. Armenia - “Jako” by Ladaniva

I adore this song’s fun, traditional vibe. I just want to get up and dance to it! This performance is going to be a lot of fun, I can feel it!

15. “Doomsday Blue” by Bambie Thug

They’re coming to take me away, haha-

Come on, I’m not the only one who hears it, right?

This song is… weird. So, so weird. So, so opposed to anything I’d ever expect from Eurovision. And I kind of love it for that. It’s all over the place, but in a way that fits its mood. I know I’ve made “Ow The Edge” jokes about it, but come on, I’ve never been immune to a bit of edge myself. I like it!

Not sure about its chances of qualifying, though. I feel like the jury is going to tear this one to shreds. Ireland hasn’t had much luck recently, this won’t be the song to turn that around…

(So anyway, if you like this song, go listen to Neuroticfish’s cover of “They’re Coming To Take Me Away”. Hell, just go listen to Neuroticfish, period)

14. Latvia - “Hollow” by Dons

Not afraid to tell you all my sins I can’t escape

I won’t change, it’s like a bad disease I cannot shake

Not afraid… to admit that this ranked so damn high because of Husk. Yes, I like the singer’s voice, but it usually takes a lot to get me on-board with ballads - and in this case, bitter lyrics about being a sinner who would rather be authentic than cover up his faults is what clicked here. Thank you, cartoons! This is the third year in a row that you’ve made a ranking decision for me - different show this year, but still!

13. Ukraine - “Teresa & Maria” by alyona alyona & Jerry Heil

I’m not religious in the slightest, but that doesn’t stop me from adoring the grand, gospel vibe of this one. Ukraine’s skill at blending traditional-sounding music with rapping strikes again, and I’m looking for a good result here!

12. San Marino - “11:11” by Megara

For better or for worse, San Marino almost never sends something boring, and they’re knocking it out of the park with this one! I always love a good, high-energy, female-led rock number!

11. Iceland - “Scared Of Heights” by Hera Björk

Remember what I said earlier about a recently-developing soft spot for flying metaphors in love songs? This is where I first noticed it.  This isn’t like “Hollow” where cartoons made it rank much higher than it would authentically - I genuinely find this to be an adorable, hopeful little love song - but I’m sure that aspect didn’t hurt it!

10. Lithuania - “Luktelk” by Silvester Belt

God, I wish I could more properly explain why I like this one. There’s just a certain vibe from it that I’m really into, and it’s a perfect way to start off my top ten.

9. Spain - “Zorra” by Nebulossa

Mmm, a disco number about how some people are going to think you’re a slutty bitch no matter what you do so you may as well do your own thing. Delicious. I was already having fun with it on the first listen, and then I looked up the translation and fell even more in love with it.

8. United Kingdom - “Dizzy” by Olly Alexander

I already knew Olly Alexander before this year, due to a couple of songs he did with Kylie Minogue, the queen of my life. (Oh, yeah, there’s also “Valentino”, that’s an important one of his.) So I went into this with high hopes, and I was not disappointed! What a fun pop song about the joys of being in love! Maybe certain recent events have made me more weak to that topic than usual this year? Whatever the case, I love this, and really need to listen to more from this guy!

7. Estonia - “(Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi” by 5Miinust & Puuluup

“The only cool thing here is saying no to drugs!”

This song is. A lot. A song about how lower-class people are unfairly targeted for drug possession even though they’re the least likely to be able to afford it, with some ambiguity about whether the singers actually do have drugs… with goofy vocals, music, and dancing. Fucking love everything about it. I love stuff that’s a joke song on the surface but has so much more to it when you dig deeper, like “Who The Hell Is Edgar?” last year. God, this is going to be a blast. And we’re just at the start of the part of the list where I adore me some goofy bullshit!

6. Czechia - “Pedestal” by Aiko

The pure inspired anger behind this one delights me, I love it so much. And yes, I’ve heard the Eurovision version, I totally understand why some lyrics had to be changed, but “I love me more than your bullshit!” lives forever in my heart. Angel Dust song? Angel Dust song. I’d adore it even without that, though.

Love:

5. Switzerland - “The Code” by Nemo

Another song that’s. A lot. A genre blending circus opera rap type… thing. I love how unique this one is. Eurovision helps me discover so much cool new stuff, it’s my favorite time of the year. I could see this as a winner!

4. Netherlands - “Europapa” by Joost Klein

After several years of sending ballads I don’t give a shit about, The Netherlands finally learn how to win my heart - giant shoulder pads! God, this song’s catchy. I love how it basically turns into a 2 Unlimited song at the end there. A lot of this contest feels like a love letter to the 90’s/early 2000’s, and the dance music is my favorite part of that! Europapa!

3. Austria - “We Will Rave” by Kaleen

Oh, Austria, please never stop winning my heart, you’ve done so good these past few years. When I saw the title “We Will Rave”, I knew I was going to love this, and a minute in I was hooked. A classic sounding dance song about letting go of everything and giving into the music… fuck, this is exactly my style. And it says a lot about the next two entries that this is only third!

2. Croatia - “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” by Baby Lasagna

Can I just have two number 1 placements this year? Putting either of them in second place feels like I’m lying. This is yet another A Lot song, and it’s why I love this year so much. A hard rock song about leaving your country town and going to the big city, full of silly lyrics and dancing. Meow, cat, please meow back! What an utter fever dream of a song. God fucking bless.

Finland - “No Rules!” by Windows95man

Oh, what a perfect whirlwind of insanity. Finland, please never send anything normal again. A catchy song about living how you want! By a guy with the Windows 95 logo on his shirt! (That will probably be blurred on stage! Which is very funny!) This song is so goofy that it should not work, but good news, goofy works on me all too well. I’m still laughing that this got last place from the jury in the national final, but the public vote was enough to help it win anyway. Just seems fitting for a piece of nonsense like this. I cannot wait to see what sort of batshit staging this has. I don’t know if it has any chance of winning, but Windows95man is the winner of my heart this year.

#irk blubbers about nothing #irk talks eurovision 2024

[historyofshipping]

1x06 Missing scene (or, George calls out Lockwood’s shit)

Missing scene (drabble) from 1x06 of what George and Lockwood talked about while Lucy was in Bickerstaff’s house. Lockwood’s POV. (If people like this, I’ll clean it up and do the whole Bickerstaff sequence from Lockwood’s POV. This is a type and dump because I haven’t written in years). 

----

“This is my decision.” 

And with that, Lucy turned and walked away. 

I sighed, knowing that I couldn’t stop her but also hating the fact that she wanted to do this alone (without you, a voice in my head whispered). 

I looked at George and knew a conversation I didn’t want was coming. Preparing myself, I went and sat on the stone steps in front of the building while George began pacing.

“Don’t.” I said, trying to cut George off before he could even start.

“Don’t what? Don’t remind you of what a stupid idea this is? Don’t tell you that your decisions are compromised by your feelings for Lucy?”

Oh so I guess we’re just going to jump right into it then. Brilliant.

“What do you mean? I don’t have feelings for Lucy. She’s my friend, my colleague.” 

“Are you lying to me or to yourself, Lockwood? We need to have this conversation.”

“We really don’t.” Please, I silently begged, but I knew it wasn’t going to work. George had been shooting me looks and hints for weeks now and I’ve been avoiding it. Now though, he knew I wouldn’t - couldn’t - run away from where Lucy needed me. 

“Well considering that our lives could be on the line, we really do.” 

George sighed and came over to stand by me. 

“Look, Lockwood, I’m going to say some things and you need to not interrupt. I honestly think you don’t know how you feel about Lucy -”

“I don’t –” 

“What did I literally just say? I’m talking and you owe it to all of us to listen to me for once.” 

I nodded in assent figuring we should just get this over with. George didn’t know what he was talking about, obviously. Liar. (Great, now I’m arguing with the voice in my head. Very sane, Lockwood.) 

“Ok. You have feelings for Lucy. It’s obvious to everyone except you two idiots. And you know what? It’s probably a good thing. Maybe you’ll be safer, more cautious, and calm your death wish if you have someone to love. Someone to live for. Or maybe not. I don’t know. But the fact is, your feelings for Lucy - and your refusal to acknowledge them - has compromised your decision making. And for what? So you two can dance around each other and unconsciously third wheel me? It’s fucking annoying.” 

George paused then, shaking his head, like he had forgotten he was talking to me instead of just having this conversation in his head.

“Anyway, everyone sees the way you look at each other. You both forget anyone else is in the room. It’s been that way since the first day she rang and told you off for your test.” 

We both smiled at that memory. It was Lucy through and through. 

Softer now, he looked at me. “Lockwood, you’re my best friend. You, me, and Lucy are family. I’ve known you for a long time and I want you to be happy. You have been a shell putting on a front for so long that I’m not even sure if you know how to just be yourself. Your parents, Jessica, hell even Robin - none of them would want you closed off like this. Yeah, we’re probably going to die just like they did but you’re acting like we’re all already gone. You deserve to be happy, Lockwood. You deserve love. We all do. What the fuck is the point of all this if we’re just here existing instead of living? Anyway, think about it. Admit to yourself what the rest of us can see. Lucy isn’t just a co-worker to you, and you’re smarter than to really think that.” 

And with that, George walked away, leaving me to process everything he said. 

Did I love Lucy? Of course I did. She was family to me - just like George. 

Ugh stop lying to yourself came that annoying voice in the back of my brain. Of course, I found Lucy attractive. I’m not going to lie to myself and say she isn’t beautiful. And feisty, and fierce, and called me out on my shit in a way that not even George did. She was also kind and compassionate in a field that often left people bitter and jaded. 

And sure, did I think that in another life, I could’ve fallen for Lucy? Probably. But we’re here, not there. George is right that we’re going to die sooner rather than later. And I refuse to leave behind someone who would mourn me. 

Coward! You already have people who would mourn you. George, Lucy, Flo just to start. Don’t use that lame excuse. 

Ok fine, but mourning someone as a friend was different than mourning them as a lover (god what an awkward word). Right? 

But then again, I already loved her, didn’t I? 

Well fuck. The realization forcibly knocked the wind out of me. I loved Lucy Carlyle. 

George shot me a knowing look. “Figured it out, did ya?” 

In answer, I just dropped my head into my hands. 

Seeing that his words had their intended effect, and knowing me well enough not to push, he turned his attention back to our mission.

“I really am worried about her though. There’s something just not right about her connection with the skull.” George said as he began pacing again.

“Look, hours ago, I thought this was the best thing to ever happen to us. Now it could be the worst.” 

Don’t remind me, I thought, but said instead, “I know what you mean.”

“She said, ‘Give us 15 minutes and if we're not back…’ She's talking about it like they're a team! It's still technically mine.”

“It was never yours, technically.” I knew that was besides the point, and so did George. 

“How long now?” 

Checking my watch, I willed it to be later than I knew it was. “Ten minutes.”

“Look, she's not in charge here. Who knows what that thing could be whispering in her ear? Have you forgotten Annabel Ward?” 

I shot George a look: how could I? 

“Let me put it this way. We've just sent her alone into a severely haunted house.”

The unspoken end of that sentence: and she’s alone with no one to help her. 

“You're right. This is insane.” 

And with that, I got up and stormed inside. I could deal with a pissed-off Lucy as long as she was an alive pissed-off Lucy

#locklyle #anthony lockwood #george karim #lucy carlyle #lockwood & co #lockwood drabble #lockwood and co #l&co. netflix #l&co spoilers #drabble #so nervous to put this out into the world

[thessalian]

Thess vs "Help Desks”

Sweet blessed gods, if people are going to try to phase out and or cheap out on phone helpdesk staff for the sake of their bottom line, they could at least do it competently. I’ve been using automated phone trees of one type or another for a long time, since the days when “hold the line while we transfer you to an operator” meant “some people are still using a rotary dial phone”, and it’s amazing to me how they get smarter and yet somehow more ridiculous every time I turn around.

There’s a thing I’ve been dealing with at the behest of my parentals regarding my state pension. Basically, over here, your state pension is based on your National Insurance contributions, and you have to have 35 years of full National Insurance contributions before you can get your full state pension. Thing is, because I worked as a temp a lot, there are a lot of years when I didn’t make a full contribution, and there weren’t National Insurance credits available for a lot of reasons. (It doesn’t help that I was allowed and in fact encouraged to use a temporary National Insurance number for years and it doesn’t look like those years count towards my state pension now, even though I paid above the odds those years. Ugh.) Now, theoretically, if everything goes to plan, I should be able to claim my full state pension because I’ve got fifteen years of full contributions as of this tax year and I’m not due to claim my state pension until 2044. Or later, because they might change the laws on that again; wouldn’t put it past the government as is. Anyway, point is, I should be fine. But it’s possible I won’t be fine, because I am, after all, disabled. Also, let’s face it - my luck with jobs has been made of dogshit for ... well, most of my life, if you think about it. My luck’s holding so far but shit does happen, often, and often to me. So anyway, the point of all this is that you��re allowed to make voluntary contributions towards your state pension for the last five years that a full contribution wasn’t made. My parentals intend to make that voluntary contribution to take five years’ worth of pressure off my quest for a full state pension. Which is nice of them.

Now, if they just didn’t make it so damn complicated to give them money in that way, that’d be great.

They tell you to go to the website and follow the instructions to pay online or by direct debit. They don’t tell you that you need an 18-digit reference number until the box requesting one is staring you in the face. You actually have to go to ancillary information sources (non-HMRC help sites) just to find out how to get that 18-digit reference number they’re apparently so hot for. There are apparently two options for getting one: write to them and wait two weeks while they send one back by post, or call.

However, their automated voice-recognition phone tree piece of bullshit does not understand the difference between National Insurance reference number and National Insurance number. There is a difference. One you get given on a card so you can write it down on tax documents (like a social security number); the other is a very specific number used only by HMRC internally to deal with voluntary National Insurance contributions. However, the automated phone tree does not recognise this difference, so giving it the key phrase “National Insurance reference number” is useless. So is “voluntary National Insurance contributions”, and similar phrases. It’s not that the automated phone tree doesn’t understand it to a point; it just doesn’t recognise it as something I literally need to speak to a human being to sort out. Thus it just says, “Our lines are busy, look up the information online, good-bye”, and hangs up. No option to ask to speak to an advisor, nothing. Just “Check our website; bye. *clik*”

It took awhile, but I finally figured out how to actually speak with a human being in this instance. Every time it repeated the Google-perfect phrase I gave it and asked, “Is that correct?” ... I said “no”. Even if it technically was. See, at that point, deliberately playing obtuse is the only way to go, and even then it was a nightmare. First they just let me try again - “Is this correct?” “No.” Then it suggested some key phrases I could give it as search terms. I picked one that sounded close-ish but no cigar - “Is this correct?” “No.” Then it gave me even simpler verbal options that really did sound like basic Google search terms - “Is this correct?” “No.” Finally, they gave me a number menu, and at the end of that list was “To speak to an advisor, press 4″. They went all the way around the houses to make it as hard as possible to speak to a human being, because every one of the options I was given in the first three tries were designed to point you at the website and hang up on you. I know because I tried them on and off for a fair bit of last week.

Then I spent over an hour on hold. I can’t blame them that much because we are coming on to tax season but especially when you consider how hard that phone tree works to shunt all callers to the website ... fucking hell. All of that for an eventual conversation with a pleasant lady who asked a couple of questions, seemed grateful I had all the information she wanted to hand, and dealt with the whole thing in three minutes.

Don’t even get me started on the power company. On one hand, it’s a little easier to get to the “please hold for an advisor” stage. Not much, but a little. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure they outsource most if not all of their call center and web help staff overseas. Leaving aside the whole “You’re just outsourcing this work overseas so you can get a service while drastically underpaying your staff ... more than you can get away with here, anyway” problem, the other issue there is that if you’re providing call centre services to a company that does business in an English-speaking country ... it might be good if you at the very least made sure the staff providing the services can actually speak English to a reasonable degree. It’s hard to say that without worrying that I’m judging these people for not speaking English, but I swear I’m not judging. I don’t expect them to speak English because I’m fairly sure they’re not in England, or in any other country that speaks English as its first language, come to that. This is bad enough when it’s the web chat help system, where it’s pretty obvious that the person at the other end just copy-pasted your question into a FAQ search and then copy-pasted the result back to you without necessarily knowing what it said; it’s worse when it’s a human being and you need three tries for what effectively boils down to “I want to check my balance” but is a bit more complicated than that.

I’m sure that companies were wetting themselves in sheer joy when technology allowed for the automation of something vaguely resembling a help desk. Thing is, as my brother-from-another-mother says, computers are just very fast idiots. They will do exactly what you tell them, and only exactly what you tell them, and if your request deviates even a little from their parameters of what a request looks like, they will throw a fit. As for outsourcing overseas ... like I said, I don’t blame the people on the other end of the phone or web chat who don’t speak English very well. I blame the people who hire them on at ludicrously low pay and horrific hours and then setting them up for hours of abuse from customers who are a lot less polite than I am about their understandable inability to speak fluent English when they live in a country that doesn’t.

I think this pisses me off to a greater degree than usual these days because of a certain piece of rhetoric regarding jobs and people in this country doing them since the fucking Brexit referendum. They yell about “foreigners taking our jobs” while throwing ones that would actually be perfect for people in this country on a work-from-home basis - for the disabled, carers for small children or vulnerable adults, even for second jobs that wouldn’t require even more time spent on commuting - at places with fewer employment rights and minimum wage laws, which only results in a worse service and more stressed staff. If the xenophobes in this country don’t want “foreigners taking our jobs”, maybe they should demand that we stop throwing 'our jobs’ at ‘foreigners’ in a massively exploitative model that does nothing but fatten the profit margins of the CEOs. And also maybe don’t throw it at computers that require a certain specificity to function in a helpful way, when help desks are generally called by people who don’t have specifics - THAT IS WHY THEY ARE CALLING FOR HELP.

I mean, I think a lot of this boils down to “stop using technology to exploit people in the name of The Great God ECONOMY, you shitheads”, but with specific examples and a lot of frustration.

#Thess is a motherfucking adult #Thess gets aerated

[mountymase]

OMFG CHAPTER SIX PART ONE????? Girl it was so good!!! so so so sweet and ugh. just melted my heart and made me feel all fuzzy i NEED moreee 🥹🫶 the family interactions melt my heart and i am so excited to see yns & masons relationships with each others familys develop along with their own 💞 but this new oliver guy…. he better watch his back im not letting anything come in between yn and mason and their chances of becoming a cute family for real🤺🤺 but i am looking forward to the possible angst 👀 im just so obsessed with this series!! their whole not-yet-family dynamic is so cute and lily’s relationship w her new family is so so so sweet and heartwarming and you capture it so well in ur writing!!! like fr youre giving me baby fever 🥲

and i know you said you wanted feedback and im not sure if you’re looking for constructive criticism and if not then just ignore this and not post it: the entire chapter was so well written and i loved every part of it! and i really hope you don’t think im being mean or anything because i think you’re a great writer and literally one of my favourites on here and i know you get pressured by a lot of other anons on here to post the next chapters asap so ik its not your fault but some parts felt a little bit rushed?? you probably felt pressured to push out as much of the next part asap so i completely understand bc i know how ruthless some people on here could be and this chapter was still wonderful of course and ive reread this part like 5 times since last night lmfao but i think what would make the series better/improve your writing is if you made each scenario a little bit more detailed? meeting masons parents for example felt a little bit rushed as there wasnt much detail about what exactly happened when mason explained everything and i would’ve appreciated more detail into how his parents reacted to everything he said and how that affected yn??? you have so much potential and are already so good at writing but i think if you slowed down a little bit, the whole story would be sm better (not that its bad rn, bc im obsessed with it regardless) i really hope im not being rude or hypercritical because that’s not my intention at all, i just think you have so much potential and i would love to see u reach that w this series <33 oh god this is a lot of words but basically i think you should slow down with the series and put as much detail as u can into each scenario (if you want to/are up for it ofc, because its still great as it is rn) because i honestly think this series and you as a writer have so much potential and i want to see u become an even better one w this series bc i LOVE the plot and all ur work. again, i love u i hope im not being a bitch or mean or too demanding but i think to make the series better u should slow down and like. kinda savour each scenario?? because personally i would love more detail to fuel my delusions LOL and i know its hard because of how much pressure anons put u under so if u think its easier to continue as is and forget about this anon then that’s completely fine too <3 im still gonna read each chapter over and over again anyway 😌🫶 but yea this chapter was 10/10 and really sweet and i am so excited for the next part and i really hope youre not taking this as me being mean, im just suggesting areas u can improve on but i dont want to be hypercritical at all and i dont want to make u feel bad bc i love u and think ur great and this is getting too long now lol ok love u bye

This. This is how you share constructive criticism and people should learn from you!

First, I wanna thank you for reading my story. Means a lot, and I’m really happy you’re enjoying it!

Yes, it was rushed, I think it has to do with how little I’ve been able to focus on it over the past week and how hard it is for me to write family interactions considering my experience with my own family has always been so fucking toxic I don’t know much what a healthy dynamic is like. I tend to rewrite Mason and Lily a lot because I’m never fully happy with their dynamic. But I was thinking of writing individual interactions? Like, Y/N getting closer to his parents and eventually telling them how she felt? I have some ideas for the next chapter and I think that’d fit and I’d love to know your thoughts on it if you’d like to DM me? ♥️

Thank you, again! ♥️♥️♥️

[commaclear]

I wanna talk about Wilbur’s family, mainly Phil. This is gonna be a bit incomprehensible bc I thi k I’m dying rn but I have to talk abt this

For starters, Phil has proven that he adopts kids that are gonna turn into the next top tier god. And I cannot imagine how fucking awful Wilbur feels because he didn’t turn out as good. Especially since Tommy was adopted and Phil now has a kid who he can talk code and all that with. Wilbur probably feels pretty exvluded from his family because everyone’s successful but him.

Imagine how fuckjng shitty it feels to be the emotional one who never got anywhere in life when all your family members have bright futures ahead of them. He probably thinks he’s weighting them down. That probably ain’t helping that whole fuckjng suicidal thing he’s got going on.

Also I wanna mention how Phil is such a dick for making Tommy get involved with the situation while also not allowing Tommy to know why. It’s one thing to drag your kid into a situafoin but a whole other thing to belittle him in the process. He cares about Wilbur and if something is going on he deserves to know just a little bit. They don’t have to outright tell Tommy his older brother figure is suicidal but Phil could’ve at least said something like “Wilbur needs help right now, a little more than before”.

Tommy isn’t a baby. He knows something is wrong. He knows this isn’t a normal thing and everyone is acting weird. and isn’t he literally a foster kid? Tommy probably associates some shit with the adults telling him to fuck off while they discuss things he should be involved in and Wilbur does too.

I know no one knows what to do when they find out someone they care about is suicidal. It’s hard to process and you aren’t thinking straight when you hear it. But I feel like sticking Wilbur with Tommy and saying “don’t ask questions” made Tommy feel excluded and unimportant and it probably made Wilbur feel rather isolated and out of place.

I’ve been there. Having your family in the other room arguing over what to do with you because you can’t be left alone fuckjng sucks. And I’m sure it doesn’t suck any less for Wilbur. He just has to sit there, debating what to do with him as if he’s nothing but a problem that other people have to put up with. He already feels like a burden does he not.

How hard would it have been to maybe include Wilbur in the conversation? Or maybe save the arguing for later.

Also looking back I saw a part where Tommy talks about how he was already relly testing Phil’s patiecen. So it’s pretty clear he’s got some trauma based on that. So good fuckinf job Phil for making Tommy feel like he’s got to worry about messing up right now because you failed to tell him he did nothing wrong.

Ugh Phil. Damn Phil. Phil. Stupid.

-the auackity analysis ankn

Wilbur’s might quit his mediocre office job that he hates, Tommy is building a super advanced robot for an international robotics competition, and Techno just got back from a very successful book tour.... I see no future problems for Wilbur’s self esteem here, no sir everything is a-okay in the Minecraft household

And why would Wilbur feel like a burden? What about this situation would make him feel like an unwanted problem people have to deal with? Once again I see no problems here

Ahaha....

On a less sarcastic note, there is something to be said for not putting the burden of "make sure your brother doesn't kill himself" on a thirteen year old kid, that's the sort of thing that Tommy would spend weeks talking about in therapy as an adult

Admittedly Phil didn’t take the Best approach, but when has he ever?

#anons my beloved #hi thirsty im dad #quackity analysis anon #oh the temptation to tag this as uackity analysis ankn

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

do you know about the couple that ariana grande was super close with. she was close with both the wife and husband. she would be sweet to the wife all the while seeing the husband behind her back. ugh. and when the wife juuust had a baby, the husband left her for Ariana. I used to ignore the things calling her rude like the donut incident and race changing thing and i was never a huge fan in the way u are but i liked her music and thought she was cute and loved her style but ever since I found out about this I just was like wtf???? so disgusted and i just couldn't bring myself to listen to her music anymore.

i just dont understand how that is a "queen" or someone who spreads love or a strong person?

everytime I see her anywhere now its just like what the actual fuck how does she still have supporters. i feel like when that news came out her career should have ended her fake innocent act is also super disturbing now I used to think it was cute but she's literally just so gross ewwww

u don’t need to like her!!! but i’m not gonna stop being a fan of the woman who got me thru the worst times in my life just bc of rumours <3

ppl love to judge based off one bad thing they hear. i said she’s the strongest woman i’ve known bc of how she’s handled shit throughout her life. like when her show was literally bombed n she returned 2 weeks later to put on one of the biggest fundraising concerts ever, despite suffering extreme ptsd? not to mention how she’s been constantly shamed for everything; her looks, personality, partners etc. but nevertheless, she’s only ever responded with love and kindness.

idk what u mean by “fake innocent act” or how she’s “disturbing” or “gross” when all she’s promoted is positivity, but ig we all have different views, those are yours and these are mine. 💌

[somethingsgottagive1821]

Today i went to my OBGYN appointment and im happy with it. Honestly i was expecting it to go way worse then it did. And kinda surprised they didn’t weigh me but that must only be for when your pregnant and I don’t plan on being that anytime soon. Dr.P had a lot to say which i expected ! He always does but he keep it all so real and honest and i need that from him but that’s not something i always need which is why i picked the PC i have she’s super nice and after what she shared about her mother I know she understands where i am coming from . Anyway Dr.P recommended a drug for me for weight loss because i am literally killing myself with food . Without even weighing me he can see just how much weight i have gained since I’ve given birth . And its just so disgusting i feel like im dying right now my body is so sore all the time and i know i need to cut the shit and loose weight but i seem to go on diet after diet and i just can’t stick to anything . The only Time I’ve been able to stick to the weight lose is when Dr. P was holding me accountable every week at a weigh in and i also had someone in my stomach that I was trying to protect also it was just different . Even though that life i worked so hard for is now alive and in front of me and i should still be fighting for my health for her i just can’t ! Ugh i hate myself so much most days I don’t even know what the point is. But I can’t think like that anymore ! I have to put myself first so hopefully when i go to the doctors Next Monday i can speak with her about what Dr.P recommended for me and go from there. I guess that’s all i can do for now. Well i can also quit drinking soda . But i feel like im trying to stop so many toxic things i do at the same time its driving me crazy! I have to just pick one and once i can kick that habit i can fix the next one right? I just really need to get on track with the Therapist. We are currently playing phone tag everyday it feels like I can’t keep up . And we haven’t been able to have a real conversation or even set a date to have the first in person meeting. I’m trying to be patient but the person I’ve always been is telling me that there’s no point and to just give up. I just need a cheerleader in my corner telling i can do this . I hate to put that on to someone else but clearly I can’t cheer for myself right now . Fuck i hate this .

[bleachposting]

...waaaah so i applied for the teach in japan programme...not gonna name it for the sake of not getting flagged here and i was really hoping i’d get declined just bc then i wouldn’t have to make a decision... results came back this week and i made it onto the reserve list,,, so i could go if someone dropped out but it’s kind of a drop of a hat kinda vibe and may not even happen

it honestly gives me so much excitement to think that if i said yes i could go to japan this year ... like ive been dreaming for so long and now maybe i could?! my heart feels really swayed but my brain is really like girl u should decline ... i’ve got to finish my ma which i can’t just put on hold, there’s a family trip to the home country which like... as someone who is so passionately applying my asian identity in all my creative and academic work,, it would be hypocritical not to join, my family will literally flip shit if i go too, i’ve got financial goals like replacing my phone and laptop and getting a root canal lmfao but work has been getting harder and harder despite it being my favourite workplace i’ve ever worked, plus im even establishing a writing career now... honestly escaping to japan and just living spontaneously it so tempting and im definitely one to cave to impulse

i really dont know what to do :( it just pains me so much of sending my email declining even though i know it’s what’s best

ugh at the same time tho, i’ve told a few of my close friends and like i’m just pissed that no one has really taken the time to ask me about it? like they’ve been like ‘oh that sucks’ but no one has had the time of day to be like ‘hey like really tell me about it’ and like i’ve been so just touchy the last few days and not acting myself and it’s just shit that no one’s like ‘hey r u okay?’ like i GET that i’ve got a part to play in being transparent and asking for help but damn it just sucks i’ve really been the supportive friend the last few months w so many people and im sick of it?? im literally like well nah i’ve been an anxious wreck since that flasher incident and no one’s been like ‘hey ur acting differently’ i’ve literally been pushing myself to the bone with work and writing and still no ‘hey like ur literally burnt out like i see u dropping out of social commitments ur always on’ like why can’t someone just ask me how i’m doing like how i’m reeeally doing

aaaah vent >:( but it is what it is right? i’m gonna watch your name and weathering with you before i send the decline email just to see if that’s enough to change my heart but im not super hopeful it will be a game changer but at least looking forward to spending a day on my own terms 

#chappyposting #pwaha i feel like the person ive been most real with is my writing collaborator #or rather he's my photographer im the writer #and its just like creativity is really a bridge and its so nice that when you share a vision with someone and they reeeeally get it they #also just make it so easy to share things with #in love with him in a creative collaborator way which is just like bliss so happy that its a perfect relationship in that way #also the closest thing i have to a slow burn crush gave me a hug at work yesterday which was just so well needed it really made me feel #squee even tho its just a v normal interaction for us like i was like yeah i really want a hug today ;;;; in my mind it wasn't like hug me #bc im sad lol he was just leaving and was like arms out gosh i love my low stakes love life its so easy

[convexcave]

ugh ok i’m gonna talk abt my mom situation a little bit so that’s what’s under the cut cw for transphobia

so like an old friend who is… also friends with my mom reached out to me & acted like she was just reaching out to reach out but I have a sneaking suspicion that she was sent on a fact finding mission about my whole deal from my mom bc when she called she feigned ignorance about the whole cut my mom off thing & later subtly revealed that she had been told all of this by my mom already… & she wanted to go out to lunch with me to like catch up and we did because it has been a long time and like we are friends or at least I used to consider her a friend & like then the whole convo turned into her lecturing me abt detransitioners and how they regret destroying their bodies & how i’m perfect the way I am and I don’t need to change my body like ugh all that fucking annoying conservative rhetoric

so she was like you’re not gonna like cut your tits off right and I was like….. uh. at this point in my life I don’t really want to it’s not like that much of an issue for me anymore since going on testosterone and she was like phew ok good you call me before you make any decisions like that because I don’t want you mutilating your body

and she basically said it’s stupid for me to not get back into film acting at this point bc everyone’s casting transgenders and i’m like… but. I don’t want to. like I don’t want to act. i’m good at it I know and I know how to do it but it doesn’t make me happy and it doesn’t make me feel good

but anyway

my dad was there bc me can’t drive so. he drove me into town. and like he has yk 30 years of investigative experience & he told me afterward that the way she was asking questions she was most likely fishing for information from me & he was willing to bet that her and my mom are gonna be having a conversation shortly

and i’m just. I dunno

bc old friend also was like yeah my sister died in october and you know you always think you have all this time but you really don’t aka you should forgive your mom and i’m like… uh. urm… no. like

my quality of life has increase significantly since I removed her from my life, and she hasn’t shown that she’s grown or worked on all the issues that caused me to cut her off in the first place

& i asked my QPP what he thought and she said like being fully honest with myself would I regret not making up with my mom if she like died in an accident tomorrow and really I wouldn’t

i’ve spent my entire life catering to her emotions and trying to make sure that she’s happy and she’s comfortable and putting my own needs by the wayside to take care of her emotionally and if she is incapable of self reflection and change then I didn’t miss out on anything really

I cherish the good times that we had and i’m grateful for the good things she did for me in my childhood but those things don’t erase the neglect in something as key as emotional regulation

If she really wants a relationship with me again she has to go to therapy and take responsibility for all of her colossal fuck ups instead of wallowing in her grief over a daughter that she hasn’t really known since 2014 bc that’s all she’s doing. she’s sitting around being sad about it. like jesus christ. if you really want me back then go earn me back, but she’s never wanted to put that effort in for me so i’m not expecting her to

also I have communicated to her extremely directly that if she starts going to therapy regularly and working on her issues we can maybe start talking again and you know what she did? she fount tooth and nail against the idea saying she didn’t have time because of work (she’s literally family friends with her boss who is aware of our entire situation and if she knew why my mom had to leave an hour early once a week she’d have literally no issues with that) and that she can’t afford it (I did the research and found three therapists that specialize in single mothers and the trauma of raising a child alone all in her area who all take medicaid which my mom has)

and guess what she did finally get a therapist but she went to a fucking??? gender and sex therapist???? even when I sent her those three therapists that work with single mothers? I can’t wrap my head around it

but yeah I think i’m just pissed about the whole ohhh you’ll regret it thing like uh. maybe you regret how your relationship with your sister was when she died unexpectedly but i’ve literally done everything I had the energy to do like i’m fucking twenty I don’t need to be spending time trying to fix a fucking fifty year old adult woman’s self hatred issues, that’s her job

i’ve already grieved her, I wish I had a mom every day but I quite simply don’t and that’s just life, id rather not have a mom in my life than have one that makes me miserable

one last fun side note uh currently sleeping in the living room at my dads house & I can totally hear him and his wife fucking and it’s very awkie I grabbed my headphones & put on some music so i’m free for now but these bitches are on 10% so pray they get their shit done before they die bc I would like to live in ignorance

very… very excited to be back in my own house….. i’ve been trying to live in the moment but I would not like to be living in this moment right now ngl

#vent

[maddithecurlyfry]

11/17/22

Here we are again in the library with MY GIRLFRIEND, R. hehehe

So, I posted part two of that fanfiction I had been writing and wow I love the attention. It’s like getting all the attention I have been craving but without having to be super personal or like really put myself out there. Its like its an alter ego or something. I like it. And I can just post about whatever plagues me in life and I can get it out. Its like when I post my diary posts here except I might get view. This is not meant for anyone to read unless they really want to. I would not recommend though as I delve in some interesting topics on here. 

There’s not a lot going on at the moment... Like literally not really a lot. Thanksgiving is next week so I am quite nervous about being with my family for a whole week, but I can use schoolwork as an excuse thank goodness. That is what I am truly thankful for. I really didn’t think I would ever have this problem reguarding my family, but as I’ve grown up I’ve seen who my parents are... flaws and all. I love them to bits, but idk man they really irk me. It should get easier but I’m also done just sitting down and shutting up. I can’t just sit around and keep the peace just for the sake of keeping the peace. Ugh. Idk. We will see how it goes I guess. Nervous, but oh well. 

#diary of a confused college student #depression question mark #thanksgiving is coming pls help

[atabooqueen]

New crushes every week

I truly have a new crush every week. This is not something i try to do but something that happens so naturally. Because i haven’t been loved properly in so long, or like ever, i think i seek it out more than i should. I was loved properly a little bit ago, but it was by the wrong person. I was not sexually attracted to this person, but i still received and gave love as much as i could. There was such a huge wall up that i could not break down. But now….

I met this guy tonight who i think i like already. He is an intelligent and embarrassing guy who just acts a little bit different. His face blushes when he hear something a little taboo. His smile is so contagious. There’s something about him where i want to be near him. This is where i usually go wrong though because i am not prepared to deal with these feelings in the right way. Part of me wants to literally ask him to dinner or drinks like ASAP, but other part of me should wait until he makes a move? Is it too forward to do it the second day i meet him? The thing is, I’ve thought about him since i left him. That doesn’t mean much because i think about potential romantic people literally ALL the time, but this feels different. IDK what should i do?? Wait to see if the spark actually exists, kind of put some flirty hints out there? Maybe I’ll do that. I’ll flirt with him tomorrow. ORRRR do guys not like flirty girls? UGH TELL ME

[twinkleimagines]

Hiii drew smut where they meet from Madison and have been talking and then the cast plus y/n go out clubbing and they confess there feelings / also can drew be rough.

*Keep it on the low*

Warning: smut and language.

I got carried away with this one so I hope you guys like.

“ I just feel like we never see each other anymore “ you spoke over the phone Bailey.

“ I know” she whined out. “ listen we’ll fly you out this weekend so we can hang and you can meet my friends okay? You’re going to love them “ she insisted.

“ okay” you agreed, the feeling of excitement rushing through you. Madison was your best friend since middle school and it had been a touch transition since she began filming her new tv show, Outer Banks. Of course you talked on the phone but it wasn’t the same, and you missed her truly.

You had almost became envious of her new cast mates because they were daily posting videos and pictures with each other and it made you miss her more than ever .

You quickly went back to your bedroom, packing a suit case- the weekend couldn’t come any faster .

****

“ I’m walking down the escalator now” you spoke as you sat on the phone with Madison trying to find your way to her.

“ okay - wait I think I see you” she spoke out.

“ y/n!” You heard someone yell from in front of you. You lifted your head only to see Madison standing at the bottom of the escalator, her hand waving at 90 miles per hour.

“ Maddy!” You yelled before jogging your way down the already moving steps.

“ oh my gosh!” You yelled out as you both wrapped each other in a tight hug.

“ I’m gonna cry “ she spoke as she squeezed her arms around your shoulders.

“ ugh I know I’ve missed you so much” you poured .

“ c’mon we’ve only got the weekend and I have soooo much to show you” she insisted, tugging on your arm .

****

The ride to Madison’s hotel that she was staying it a was a bit of a drive from the apartment. She was staying pretty close to the beach and Charleston was probably one of the most beautiful cities you had ever laid your eyes on.

Madison had updated you on a lot, including a new girl she was talking to as well as her new friends and their characters on the show.

“ this Rafe guy sounds like a dick” you joked.

“ yeah but you’ll love Drew he’s literally polar opposite than his character . “

******

"Ahhh she's back!" a blonde headed boy beamed, running over towards your friend, ingulfing her in a hug.

"Rudy this is Y/n" She said with a wide smile, pulling you over.

"Hi" You beamed holding your hand out but Rudy instead pulled you into a hug.

"So glad you finally made it. Maddie over here wouldn't shut up about how much she missed you" He joked.

"Awe Maddie " You said with a sympathetic pout.

"Shut up" She laughed while rolling her eyes before pulling you further into the hotel.

"Guys" She spoke out loudly to a group of people sitting on her couch causing all of their eyes to advert towards you. " This is Y/n" She announced pulling you up next to her.

You awkwardly waved, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as she practically put the spot light onto you.

"I'm Chase" One guy said leaning over the couch, holding his hand out.

"I'm Madelyn " The blonde girl next to him said standing up, walking over towards you. " it's nice to meet you" she beamed, pulling you into a hug.

'Okay so everyone is big into hugs,' you thought. You smiled widely at her before you looked over at another one walking towards you.

"I'm Jonathan Daviss, but you can call me JD" He spoke. you nodded excitedly.

"That's a cool nickname" you beamed, causing a smile to form on his face. You then looked over towards the last face on the couch.

Woah.

Now this man- he almost took your breath away. He stood up, his tall figure stretching high towards the ceiling.

"Hi, i'm Drew" He spoke, his voice the perfect tone, almost sounded like music to your ears. He had these sky blue eyes, perfectly pink lips, a little bit of fuzz on his jaw from being recently shaved, and brown hair draped over the sides of his forehead, parting perfectly down the middle. Your heart began to pound as he reached his hand out for you to shake. You hadn't realized you were staring until Madison nudged you with her elbow, bringing you out of your trance.

"Oh uhm yeah- i mean hi I'm y/n" You stuttered embarrassingly. He smiled a bright smile, his white teeth shining perfectly on his perfectly aligned face.

You sighed deeply. You never believed in love at first sight until now. How perfect this stranger was to you. If it weren't for you not wanting to humiliate yourself even more than you already were, you would've continued looking at him with admiration, but instead you turned your head to look at Maddie, trying to not to creep the poor guy out.

"okay guys I'm starving" Chase spoke up as the room filled with silence. "who wants to go eat?" He asked throwing his hands up. You grinned , already loving everyone's bubbly personality.

You sat your bag down onto the ground before tucking your hair behind your ear, watching as everyone began to make their way out the door.

"After you" Drew said, you and him being the last ones left in the room.

"Thanks" you said softly, walking out in front of him as he held the door open for you.

Who would've known that this would only the beginning of a very special relationship.

********

"Drew" You spoke out before his lips placed onto yours once again, his hand placed firmly on your thigh as your were tangled in his hair.

"Hmm" He hummed against your lips, his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip.

"We should tell them" You breathed out in between kisses.

"Mmm" he mumbled, his eyes closed as his lips trailed down your jaw towards your neck.

"I'm serious Drew I don't want to hide you anymore" You responded pulling away from him.

He stopped his movements, making eye contact with you.

"You sure?" He asked.

You and Drew had instantly hit it off that first weekend Madison brought you over.

It had happened the first night you had stayed the night. Everyone had fallen asleep and you and Drew stayed up for hours on hours endlessly talking about anything and everything. The sparks were flying. You were so engaged in every word that came out of his mouth, his sentences sounding like lullabies to your ears.

Before you had left you both had exchanged numbers and before you could even make it to the airport you were both texting each other. Throughout the first week you both spent every night on the phone until one had fallen asleep. It had almost became addictive the way he made you feel.

Neither of you spoke of your friendship to anyone though. Mainly wanting to take things slow but you also didn't want to upset anyone or cause any issues between Drew and Madison. He assured you it wouldn't upset anyone or cause issues but at the same time he wanted to respect your wishes and keep things a secret.

You both had been virtually seeing each other for three weeks before he flew you out for a weekend, just the two of you. You had stayed with him the whole weekend, movie nights and a lot of sex.

This week though you were invited by the whole group, and right now you were hidden off in Drew's hotel hiding from the group with Drew laid on top of you, the both of you shirtless.

"We can tell them tonight okay, i just want to enjoy the time we have together right now" He insisted. You simply nodded before leaning your head forward before placing your lips against his once again.

Drew sat up, smirking at you as he tugged on your jeans, pulling them down your thighs, exposing your pink laced panties that complimented your skin so well.

"So beautiful" Drew mumbled as his hands massaged against your thighs before reaching up towards your panties pulling them down as well. He reached over to the nightstand grabbing the condom on the top before pushing his own pants down, exposing his hardened pink shaft, the veins popping out the side.

You stared in admiration at the size as he placed the rubber over him.

"Flip over" he instructed. You quickly obliged, your face in his pillow. He tucked his arm under your waist, pulling your hips bag some to wear your bottom was pointed upwards.

You gasped loudly as you felt his tip insert into you, stretching your walls around him.

"fuck" you moaned out as he pushed into you, his hips pressed against your cheeks before he pulled back out, letting your own juices help lubricate him before he pushed back in at a faster speed.

"Fuck you're tight" Drew groaned out as he slowly pulled himself of you again, leaving just the tip in. You looked over your shoulder, smirking up at him as he looked down at you, his Adams apple poking out. Drew sighed heavily , closing his eyes for a brief second almost coming undone right then and there just from the sight of you.

He finally regained his composer, looking back down at you before pressing his hand onto the back of your head pushing your face further into the pillow before he began moving his hips once again, this time at a much faster pace.

"God Drew" you cried out as he hit your spot with each thrust, your hands balling in a fist around his sheets as you struggled to breath, overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure you were receiving. You arched your back further against Drew, giving him more access to go deeper into you, your hips moving causing your walls to tighten around him.

"Fuck" He breathed out, lowing his head some as we watched himself sliding in and out of you, his abs flexing with each thrust.

"Oh yes daddy yes "You moaned out, reaching behind you, grabbing hold of his hand that was placed on your bottom.

"You like that baby?" He asked before placing a firm smack against your left cheek. You hissed out , biting down on your bottom lip as your eyes focused on his body jerking forward over and over again, every inch of his body flexing as he moved himself in and out of you.

Since that first weekend you and Drew had spent together alone, he had learned more and more ways to work your body, especially when he realized you enjoyed it rough like him.

"Pull my hair baby" you pleaded, attempting to tug on his hand that had a firm grip on your hip while your body continued rocking back and forth.

Drew quickly obliged, reaching up to grab a hand full of your hair, pulling you back towards him, your back arched to where your arms stretched out, your hands placed against his pillows.

"God yes" You winced out, a slight stinging as he had a tight grip on your hair.

"Fuck princess" he groaned feeling his climax beginning to build. His thrusts began to speed up, your tits bouncing in the air as he continued to pound into you. You leaned up some, arm wrapping around his neck . You both began to lower, you practically sitting in his lap as he leaned back, propped up on one arm as the other had his hand wrapped against your throat. His thrusts were now at a steady but rough pace, slamming up against you as he placed sloppy kisses alongside your shoulder.

"God" He groaned out as his thrusts slowed down, turning more into grinds as his cock pulsed inside you, his warm load filling the condom. You begin rocking your hips back and forth along him riding your own high out, moaning his name out loudly as your toes curled, your climax euphoric. You climbed off of Drew, flopping your body down onto the his bed, breathing heavily as you ran your hands through your hair.

"That was amazing" you breathed out. Drew nodded, himself out of breath as well.

"I'm gonna get a shower" He responded as he stood up, his member beginning to soften. "We gotta meet everyone in two hours. Wanna join?" He asked. You smiled up at him before nodding, grabbing ahold of his reached out hand.

*****

"Finally" Madison groaned as she saw you climbing out of the black SUV that escorted you to the night club you and the gang were linking up at .

"Sorry got caught up" you responded brushing the hair out of your face as the wind blew against it.

"I can see" she chuckled, her eyes focused on the round purple hickey on your collarbone. Your eyes widened, you had almost forgotten about it. You had saw the hickey as you did your make up and Drew's shower but had forgotten to cover it.

"Who were you with?" She asked out of curiosity but you only shook your head, pretending to be shy about your actions.

"ugh okay come on everyone else is inside" She responded. You nodded before tugging slightly on your black dress as it rode up your thighs. You had your hair down with white sneakers on, a simple butterfly necklace and a skin tight strapless dress on that barely that went down a few inches on your thighs.

The music was loud, everyone definitely lit as you both walked in. Your eyes roamed the club. It was definitely a party style. There a lot of people around dancing, and neon objects glowing in the black lights. Madison guided you to the corner booth your shared friends resided in, including Drew.

""You look so cute!" Madelyn beamed as she wrapped you in a tight hug.

"You too babes" You responded, well yelled as you placed your chin on her shoulder, only to see Drew standing behind her, his eyes focused on your body. He almost looked upset. Seeming how you were still on the low about your relationship you didn't confront him, but you did check him out from afar. He stood on the side next to JD black denim jeans with a white striped button up collared shirt, with his signature gold chain around his neck and a black watch on his wrist.

Despite just getting your back blown out by Drew, you had to leave before anyone came searching for you so you didn't get to see Drew dressed up, the last image you had of him was of him in a towel and his wet hair slicked back.

He was looking so good at this point you had to distance yourself from him before you made it obvious of your secret.

"Come dance" Madelyn pleaded tugging on your arm.

"I need to be drunk before i get onto the dance floor" You joked. Madelyn though took you serious and walked over to the bar, ordering at least two shots for everyone since you were each going to be getting an Uber back to the hotels.

"Okay drink up" She responded holding both yours and her shot in the air. You quickly glanced over towards your secret boyfriend who was watching you intensely before you tossed your head back opening your throat, letting the alcohol burn its way down your throat.

"phew" you said, a shiver following shortly after.

"Okay, One more " Madelyn insisted. You didn't plan to get shit faced of course , but you were definitely interested in a good time so you obliged, repeating the same action again, this time the liquids going down a bit easier. You both stood for a second in silence before she shook her head.

"I think one more with do us justice " She grinned. You chuckled, already feeling a slight buzz coming as the alcohol spread through your blood stream.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" You heard someone mumble from behind you. You looked over to see Drew standing behind you. You furrowed your brows together. How the hell did he get over there so fast?

"Don't " you mumbled before looking down at the table trying to avoid his gaze. "You're making it obvious" You responded before taking a step away, turning your back towards him.

Unfortunately you didn't notice how much those words actually upset Drew. IT had almost felt like he was an embarrassment to you with how much effort you put in to hiding him so he walked away, finding his way back next to JD.

"You okay man?" JD asked as he saw the obvious frown on Drew's face.

"Yeah man" He mumbled as he looked across the both of them, watching you quickly gulp away yet another shot of alcohol, bursting into laughter shortly after with Madelyn. He shook his head in disappointment. Of course he wanted you to have fun but he just didn't want you to get so waisted you end up doing something you regret and him not being able to help you since you didn't want him to show his affection towards you in front of everyone.

"Want a shot?" Drew asked glancing over at JD who also looked not too amused at the moment with the environment and in need of some lighting up. They both watched you and Madelyn make your way to the dance floor, merging in with the crowd as the quickly took their first shot, both of them sighing heavily as they attempted to mask the burning feeling.

You immediately began swaying your hips to the upbeat music, the alcohol coursing through your body, giving you an almost out of body type feeling, something you usually didn't get unless you were in bed with Drew.

You didn't intend to jump into the party that fast. after 2 songs Chase had came by with more shots, unaware to the previous t3 you both had taken but neither of you denied them, quickly throwing your head back, wiping the drips off your chin as you looked over at Drew who surprisingly paid you no attention. You dancing slowed down as you realized the group Drew was associating with.

You could see JD and Rudy with Drew which was not an issue. it was the 3 bimbos standing with them too, one in particular standing too close for your comfort towards Drew, her index finger twirling in a poorly curled strand of hair.

You rolled your eyes, jealously now running through you. It was obviously intensified from the alcohol but you wanted to drag him away from the girls and show those girls exactly who he belonged to but you knew you couldn't say anything considering you and him were a secret.

"Hi" You heard from behind you. It was a tall brunette guy, pretty stocky with what looked to be hazel eyes and curly brown hair. At least that what you guessed since the dance floor was only lit up from black lights above you.

"Hi" You said with a friendly smile before turning back around, a frown forming as you noticed Drew laughing at whatever the girl closest to him just said.

"You got a name?" The guy asked, dancing behind you. You turned your head, almost ready to tell him to piss off until you glanced over towards Drew who still had not even given you a glance.

"Y/n" You responded as you turned your body completely around, facing towards him.

You studied his face. He looked cute, or maybe that was just the alcohol clouding your judgment. To your drunken eyes, he favored Timothee Chalamet to you, which was some one who was a sight for sore eyes.

- but, never the less, he wasn't Drew.

The guy mentioned his name back to you but between the alcohol and the music , you didn't hear him clearly. You looked to your side to see Chase and Madelyn in their own little world so you shrugged your shoulders, turning back towards the tall boy.

"You come here with someone?" He asked as he took a step closer, his body swaying along with yours to the music. You glanced over your shoulder towards Drew, the same scenario playing as earlier . You rolled your eyes becoming agitated with Drew before you looked back forward trying not to be obvious.

"I thought i did but it's looking like they didn't come in with me" You said, your lips close to his ear as he leaned forward to hear you.

"Huh" He responded leaning back. "That's to bad. You're very beautiful" He responded. You grinned widely, enjoying the attention.

The song changed, turning to a slower song, a more sensual vibe to it. You turned around, swaying your hips up against the guy as his hand wrapped around your waist.

You usually wouldn't do this, but between the alcohol and your jealousy towards Drew, you were enjoying every second of it in hopes Drew would catch on and realize what he was losing.

And surprisingly , that's exactly what happened.

Drew tried to play things your way. He tried to pretend that there was nothing going on between the two of you. He even gave other women attention to make it believable but it was all fake smiles and laughs when really all he wanted was to hold you. He did try his best though, that is until he looked up to check on you only to see your body being held by another guy, your ass pressed against the guys crotch as he practically dry humped you from behind.

Now Drew didn't drink as much as you did, but he did have 1 to 2 shots , enough to help spark a fire inside of him, rage flowing through his veins. Drew didn't hesitate to make his way over to you, his mind only focused on removing the guy from his girl.

"Y/n what the fuck" He spat out as he tugged on your hand, trying to remove you from him. Your eyes widened, guilt instantly flowing through you. You didn't mean for any of this to happen and seeing Drew standing in front of you fuming, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed by your actions.

"Man back off alright she's just having a good time" The guy said with a cocky smirk plastered across his face.

"Fuck off " Drew scolded before looking back at you, completely brushing the guy off.

"This is really how you want to sell it ?" He said, his voice louder than normal because of the music, but those surrounding him including Chase and Madelyn hearing.

"Oh go fuck yourself Drew" You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You began to march off of the dance floor, making your way towards the table you were previously at, leaving the stranger stranded.

"REal mature Y/n" He responded following closely behind you. The rest of the group followed behind, beyond confused as to why the two of you would even be arguing like this.

"Oh but you weren't doing the same thing over here with the chick ? Laughing at every little thing she said" You spat out.

He threw his hands up.

"Y/n i was trying to play your little game of secrets" He argued back.

"Wait what secrets?" Madison spat out. The both of you stared at each other, unsure who was going or not going to spill the truth.

"No point in hiding it anymore Y/n" Drew argued. You furrowed your brows in frustration, crossing your arms over your chest as Drew spoke. Which he was absolutely right which upset you anymore.

"Somebody better start talking in point two second or -"

"We're dating" you interrupted, looking over towards Madison.

Everyone's jaw dropped except for JD's, his response was jut of him shaking his head.

"What!?" Madison yelled out in shock.

"Like talking?" She asked, looking between the two of you. " Or like, dating dating?"

"More like dating dating" Rudy butted in, pushing his index finger into a circle he made with his other hand, indicating intercourse.

You quickly placed your head in your hand with embarrassment.

"No fucking way" Chase responded, a wide grin on his face.

"Bro why didn't you tell me?" Chase yelled out placing his hand on Drew's shoulder.

"We didn't want anyone mad at us or like, i don't know it ruin this friendship we all have" You responded, lowering your head in disappointment.

"Y/n are you delusional? Why would that make any of us mad ?" Madison replied with a wide grin on his face.

"You guys, i called it" JD finally spoke, a cocky smirk across his face.

"Whaattt? " you responded looking over at him with confusion.

"You guys have been clung to each other since you first met. I'm not stupid" He laughed. You shook your head, a grin forming on your face.

"Okay the cats out of the bag so you guys don't have to continue pretending okay? " Madelyn responded. "Can we please get back to dancing?" She pleaded. They all nodded before the group once again went their separate ways, leaving you and Drew alone at the table.

"I'm sorry" You responded stepping closer towards him, placing your hand on his.

"ME too" He responded looking down at you.

"I kind of want to get out of here, yanno" You said with a smirk on your face. He grinned back, nodding his head.

"agreed".

*****

Hope you guys liked!

✨feedback as well as a like and reblog is always appreciated 💗✨

#drew starkey #obx #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #smut #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut

[arrowjaeger]

Basic Bayverse TMNT (2014 - 2016) Headcanons

some 18+ themes ig

Leonardo

probably a swifty

fluent in japanese

writes everything in japanese mostly so his brothers can’t read it as easily

refuses to call his brothers by their nicknames

probably has horrible taste in women tbh i am so sorry

thinks sugar is the devil

pretty much only drinks tea

and he sweetens it with honey

tries to be the son Splinter wants him to be

probably sings the first line to the pokémon theme in his sleep

“i want to be the very best”

always wakes up first

the mom friend but he acts way more like a mom than normal mom friends

“ugh my head hurts!”

“it’s cuz you’re always on that damn phone!”

thinks the games his brothers play are violent but he literally carries katanas with him pretty much everywhere- he’s hospitalized dozens of foot soldiers but noooo shooting a few pixels on a screen where only people’s pride is getting hurt is violent.

wears his gear like 24/7 “if there is an emergency we won’t have time to get ready”

as much as he says he doesn’t like tv, he gets obsessed with shows easily

he’ll also watch tv with Splinter since he likes older action shows

Raphael

works out at 2 am for no apparent reason

can’t sleep? oh! i should work out!

always states how much protein is in whatever he is eating

like we care, Raphael

i’ve said this before but he dry scoops protein powder, he just does.

barely knows english

forgets words and has to play charades until someone knows what he is trying to say

most likely to have had an emo phase

still listens to Black Parade occasionally

either listens to heavy metal or pink floyd

cracks his knuckles and neck way too often

drinks monster energy 24/7

will drink red bull if there is no monster left

smashes the empty cans with his forehead

has asked Donnie how to delete his search history before. Donnie definitely didn’t help him and just looked at Raph’s search history.

we all knew Raph would be into some weird shit

Donatello

is constantly chewing on things as he works: pens, erasers, his lips, the insides of his cheeks. and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it

breaks pencils when he’s stressed

has a box for the broken pieces on his desk

listens to way too much dubstep and basshunter

lives in sweatpants

like he’d fight in them if he was allowed

favorite poptart flavor is hot fudge sundae or just hot fudge. either way, those are the only poptarts he will eat in it’s entirety

otherwise he just licks the frosting off of them. he claims it helps his brain work.

probably plays dating sims in his free time

plays mystic messenger

projects onto 707

is sorta in love with MC

has one of those huge desk calendars but never has any plans

fluent in japanese and spanish in addition to english ofc

learned spanish in like three weeks for fun

he really just listens to any music unless it’s country

he’d rather be double mutated than listen to country

only drinks soda/energy drinks if they are purple

monster energy ultra violet and grape crush are his go to’s

put food coloring in his apple juice to make it purple so it would go with his brand

will not wear anything that is one of his brother’s colors

so he ends up wearing purple, gray, or black

prefers dc over marvel

the boy knows EVERYTHING about nintendo

in fact, he’s a walking encyclopedia/almanac. if you make any sort of statement, he has to tell you a fun fact about what you just said

used to say “interesting factoid” (like Olive from ANT Farm) but after his third interesting factoid Raph punched him in the face, which is why his glasses have been taped back together

only uses wooden pencils. none of that plastic stuff

definitely twirls his pencils in his fingers and probably practices bo fighting techniques with it as he thinks

one day a monitor from his set up disappeared. Leo brought it up and Don just shrugged it off.

it is definitely in his room, and it’s where he looks up more delicate topics.. he definitely watches porn on it-

hates 90% of what comes out of Mikey’s mouth

smells like coffee and motor oil

addicted to froot loops

types ridiculously fast for only having three fingers

hates when people mix up Star Wars and Star Trek

points out flaws in movies and theorizes the plot out loud

spoils most movies for his brothers unknowingly

hates when the strong female characters start dating the asshole male lead by the end of the move

cries by the end of any movie

craves attention

needs to be pegged

Michelangelo

beat boxing legend

lives off of totino’s pizza rolls

probably eats them frozen

is obsessed with retro video games

keeps breaking their atari

the only thing Mikey knows how to fix is NES cartridges

*aggressively blows into the bottom of the cartridge*

always loses the tv remote

does he best batman impression out of all of them

collects human things

is definitely making a fort out of old pizza boxes

is the most stereotypical gen z

is cracked at fortnite

uses gen z words like cheugy

probably wanted to be a vsco girl back when they were popular

kesha stan

he has more orange crush in his veins than blood

probably watches David Dobrik

gave Raph a full soda can for him to smash

he smashed it successfully just soda went everywhere and he had to clean it up

while watching sports, he roots against his brothers for fun

prefers marvel over dc

makes horrible “yo mama” and “deez nuts” jokes at every opportunity

eats so many snacks during movie night

chews with his mouth open

ADHD

laughs at all the wrong times

loves cringey movies

#tmnt headcanons #tmnt bayverse #bayverse donatello #bayverse mikey #bayverse leo #bayverse donnie #bayverse raph