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#This update is living rent free in my brain

m1xieup · 9 months

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spoliers for Nevermore episode 80!!!!!! (Read at your own risk)

Ok so first of all…. So much happened. I for one am filled with immeasurable joy due to this episode (though I am still awaiting Duke to come back from the wall). We got some character development, Lenore standing up for herself/her friends and refusing to be a pawn in this game, we got some actual Will content outside of Montresor, and possibly some new characters! All of this is incredibly exciting to me! Now I must warn you that I am a Will enjoyer and this post is mainly about my thoughts/theories about him, though I will say the development for everyone was great and I’m so excited to see how they evolve. I will tell you that even though I predicted they may go to Will, I still didn’t think it would happen-he is a side character after all, no matter how much I enjoy him. It was so nice to see him just being his silly self outside of Montrashsor. He seems like a sweet kid caught up in the wrong crowd. However my main reason for posting this is to discuss where he may go in the future.

this conflict is going to change the dynamic of both groups immensely. Lenore’s group may be more cautious and reserved, but I think Annabel’s may fracture. Prospero is loyal to her, but Ada her other devotee is now dating Monty, and may be more loyal to him. Morella won’t want to stay with Annabels group when she learns what they did to Duke, so she’ll probably leave. Monty may start shit with Annabel and may make a power play especially if he passes this off as her plan, and claims he could do better (this is assuming Duke is rescued which I sincerely hope he is). Ada would most likely support him, so Annabel needs to be really careful with how she does things going forward.

Ok so what about Will? He doesn’t really have a choice as far as he’s concerned Lenore could and would murder him so he has to help her. This puts him in a difficult place, as he technically would have betrayed his team by helping to free Duke. So I have a couple ideas about how his arc (which I think he’ll get one! Which makes me very happy ) could go

He stays with Annabel’s group and possibly faces punishment or harm for betraying them (you can’t tell me Monty would not be incredibly pissed at him, and he is not above hurting people that care for him)

he joins Lenore’s group (this is a little unlikely as Idk if they would accept him in after what he did to Duke even if Eulalie and Berenice seem to have some sympathy for him, however it would be very fun and in my opinion Will deserves better friends so it would make me happy)

he goes on his own (idk if he could make it on his own but it’s a possibility)

he dies/gets killed/is eliminated (this sort of goes with the previous but I also wouldn’t put Monty above murdering him if he felt Will betrayed him) [this would make me sad and I hope it doesn’t happen, near death is fine though I can handle angst]

He could join up with another group all together (this is somewhat based on my theory that the 3 guys we saw in the background are going to be somewhat important going forward) basically my theory is that he could join up with three guys we see as a 3rd party or in conjunction with one of the others. ((I also just think it’d be both hilarious and in character for Will to find someone else to latch onto and lackey for))

all in all a fantastic update! I’m so excited to learn more about/get a Will character arc, and I’m excited to see how he grows (change for the better, I believe in you!) I’m sooooo interested to see how these new faces interact with the others and to learn more about them as well. I am eating up Lenore’s arc, and I am so excited to see how this shift in dynamic with Annabel changes things! These are my general thoughts and opinions/theories! I’d love to hear yours fellow fast-passers (or those that read this when it come out fully)! Thank you for sticking with my insane ramblings (I’m so normal about Nevermore I swear) and have a wonderful day/night!

#nevermore #nevermore webcomic #nevermore webtoon #nevermore spoilers #lenore nevermore #annabel lee nevermore #will nevermore #nevermore will #This update is living rent free in my brain #hhhhhhhhh #i can’t wait until everyone can see this #free Duke btw #I miss him :(#Genuinely feral about this y’all #as always thank you for reading my post and have a great day!#also feel free to comment your theories/reactions! Just be nice to each other

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pigeonsareevil · 9 months

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Man, i dont know wether everyone noticed this and im just dumb and oblivious or if im being completely delusional but i think im realising why Dutch trusted Micah so much even when Hosea and Arthur complained about it.

I think what he thought, was that this is going to be a similar scenario to many other gang members in the past when they first joined.

Im not sure but thinking about it, there are many people in the gang that i feel like when they joined, Hosea and Arthur weren't happy about, but they proved themselves to the gang and changed for the better so the older members accepted them.

Hell, this could have been the case with Arthur too. Hosea mentions he was a wild delinquent when they took him in but he changed and that makes me think that Hosea originally didnt want Arthur to join them, but Dutch saw something in this feral orphan, took him in and soon enough, even Hosea grew fond of him. Even came to love him as a son.

I feel like it took a lot of convincing from Dutch to let Arthur stay but when he did, and he saw the man Arthur became, Dutch probably started believing that there is good in everyone and everyone is capable of changing for the better if they are given the chance, that is of course, if he didnt already believe in that.

That is probably how we ended up with many of the gang members who cause a bit of trouble or aren't really contributing to the gang or just the ones Hosea and Arthur arent really fond of. Specific names that come to mind are Bill, Sean and Swanson. Now im definetely not saying i dislike these characters. Nor am i saying that Sean or Bill dont contribute or that Arthur and Hosea dislike Swanson or Sean or anything like that but you get the idea.

Dutch, to me, seems way more open to strangers and troubled people, good example of this is Sadie, he didn't even hesitate about taking her in, she was in trouble and needed help, he didn't care that he didn't know her and she could potentially figure out who they are and tell the law about them (she wouldn't do that of course but someone else could have been in her place, you know) or Maybe even Kieran, who used to be member of their a rival gang but people told Dutch he saved Arthurs life so he let him stay with them. Of course they didnt trust Kieran as much but just the fact that he let him live after, even more, he let him live AND stay with them when he clearly didnt't have to shows that he is way more trusting of strangers whereas Hosea and Arthur are way more protective of the people already in the gang, protecting them from these strangers.

Seems to me like Dutch saw Micah, says the man saved his life? I think? And thought: "there is some goodness inside this person, he just needs an opportunity and a place to change for the better, even if Arthur and Hosea dont agree and say i should cut him loose, what kind of person would i be, preaching about giving people who were wronged by their life and this country a second chance yet throwing this person away after messing up a few times. It took other people in this gang months, even years to change and they did change, Hosea and Arthur used to complain but now those people are a part of their family so why shouldn't i give this person a chance?"

This of course, could have been the case had Micah actually wanted to change from his habbits and break away from his past but i think it is clear that from his dialougue he is happy being just the way he is. He just kept telling Dutch he wants to change so Dutch would let him stay and and Dutch, believing him, dragged the whole gang to destruction because of this, because he put so much time and effort into trying to help, change and save someone who didn't need it

#i wrote this on school breaks with minimal amount of sleep so sorry if this is stupid and gramatically incorrect i wasnt really checking it #i just had this thought while reading fanfics last night about Hosea and Dutch meeting Arthur #Hosea not wanting him at first but growing to love him and Dutch having to convince Hosea to let Arthur stay #guess i saw some parallels in that #there is probably more i could say about this but im forgetting it so ill update this if i figure it out #dutch van der linde #micah bell #arthur morgan #hosea mathews #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #stupid emo mango lover ate my brain #now he lives in my head rent free #im not complaining though

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warlordfelwinter · 4 months

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it's weird to think that the biggest impact i've had on random strangers (afaik) is that people think about charlie the red footed tortoise wanting his appy slices whenever they eat apples or see a tortoise or whatever

#sorry he lives rent free in your brains #he's just like that #also no one ask for updates about him i don't work there anymore and i didn't like any of my human coworkers enough to keep in touch #personal

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singerorpheus · 8 days

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im just gna word vomit everything i saw:

- i had madeline charlemagne as eurydice and beth hinton lever as a fate!

- i kept being drawn to bella as a fate shes so so mean and nasty im obsessed with her

- nothing changes is too fast and i stand by that!!!

- the cut lines for the women i will always mourn but theres also something so powerful about the looks eurydice and persephone and even hermes shoot each other like the silence is so so loud

- doubt comes in orpheus hitting his chest, i literally heard with my own two ears donal shushing the fates as they go where is she, he kisses his little necklace thing before starting

- LIKE WHAT IS HIS LITTLE NECKLACE THING

- the notebook during chant i literally just has la la la la la written on it thats my poet who will change the world btw

- zachery hades is so fucking yassified i feel like no one mentioned that his chant ii walk is so cunty

- the use of the red at the back of his outfit is used so cleanly and effectively its almost diabolical how good that combination of blocking and costuming is

- i literallt cannot believe i saw donal orpheus sing if its true live like in real life like oh my god

- buy your tickets at the right side!! orpheus does run up next to the crowd to climb some metal scaffolding(?) to run up to eurydice after flowers, but in the defense of the left side -- eurydice stands there pretty often and so does hermes so you get full melanie all the time which is a dream and also holy shit you can just see orpheus in front of you for doubt comes in as he starts panicking

- god they really make donal run and sing and he does it full body

- wow melanie really gives her all the entire time shes on stage the silent moments she has with eurydice especially after hey little songbird is like oh my god

- also i wanted the lights to swing over my head so so bad

- god the lighting tony win is so fucking deserved its so fucking CRAZY how full body the experience of the lights are

- during our lady of the underground gloria reached out and touched someones bald head in the front row shes so fucking funny

- also i just kept hearing from the people around about how good gloria is once the show is done and theyre so right

- absolutely no notes for madeline she was absolutely great (i could literally see her shake during chant i and hey little songbird) she sang "orpheus" before she went back down after doubt comes in which was a big OOF for me

- the parallel between eurydice learning the dance from the workers during livin it up on top and her learning the moves during why we build the wall omg

- when orpheus makes the little newspaper flower it has a little stalk in the middle of it unlike broadway

- during olotu, when persephone introduces the keyboardist he does the little pierre "no i am enjoying myself at home this evening" fist pump

- gloria's single tear post chant ii is fucking killer.

- also hades does a little funny shimmy during lover's desire like i wonder if every hades and persephone has a slightly different dance? bc i dont rmb some of those moves

- when hermes sings "and that is how it ends" orpheus just collapses.... my poor beloved poet!!

- orpheus reacts to the lamp above the exit before he leaves

- i guess i also didn't really realise how hurt orpheus is by the time doubt comes in happens orpheus as a little stumble by the time he starts epic iii and hes so so greviously hurt by then already

- this orpheus doesn't have the Classic red tied bandana it's more like just a piece of non-patterned red cloth around his neck. he wear a necklace (which i will emphasise so much i so desperately want to know what it is -- the stage is so fucking high i couldn't get a clear view of it) which had two pendants of things that i couldn't see and a black (iron?) ring on his middle finger if im not wrong

#i'll update if i can think of anything else #like my brain is like poof #jazz.txt #sorry if im really orpheus maxxing here donal's orpheus really does live in my mind rent free so i was a little hyperfocused on him

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thedeadthree · 2 years

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FIVE SONG OTP PLAYLIST

tagged by the darlings @adelaidedrubman, @leviiackrman, @marivenah, @dihardys, and @shellibisshe! ty so much you all! and saw @risingsh0t do this as well!

(x)

TAGGING: @griffin-wood, @aartyom, @queennymeria, @blackreaches, @chuckhansen, @lacunafiction, @pheedraws, @swordcoasts, @virassan, @confidentandgood, @saintsilver, @arklay, @steelport, @celticwoman, @florbelles, @belorage, @rosebarsoap, @multiverse-of-themind, @jackiesarch, @alexandbear, @heroofpenamstan, @shadowglens, @pegxcarter, @inkrys and you!

BAD HABIT // STEVE LACY

kinda mad that i didn't take a stab at it / thought you were too good for me my dear / never gave me time of day my dear / it's okay things happen for / reasons that i think are sure, yeah / i wish i knew, i wish i knew you wanted me

DAFT PRETTY BOYS // BAD SUNS

i don't like you / you look so pretty from afar / i despise you / why you so f*ucking perfect on the outside? / she's dressed in sunrise dressed like dusk / going out she's getting into something / he's going all or nothing

SWEET TALK // SAINT MOTEL

you might want me to drop dead but i don't even care / sweet talk / everything you say / it sounds like / sweet talk to my ears / you could yell / "piss off! won't you stay away?" / it'll still be / sweet talk to my ears

MAKE ME YOUR QUEEN // DECLAN MCKENNA

i know that i mean nothing to you, babe / i'm in your grip from which i can't escape / and i can't help but think that i mean nothing to you babe / so make me your queen

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED (TAYLORS VERSION) // TAYLOR SWIFT

all i know since yesterday / is everything has changed / come back and tell me why / i'm feeling like i've missed you all this time / and meet me here tonight / and let me know it's not all in my mind / i just wanna know you better

KILLER // FKA TWIGS

dancing in the dark, i can feel it in my heart / you're a killer, but i didn't want to call it / something in the way you put your hands on my waist / pulled me nearer, no, i never wanna call it / didn't wanna call it, didn't wanna call it / took your love for righteous / and now i'm in a crisis with a killer

MARKED FOR DEATH // EMMA RUTH RUNDLE

who else is gonna love someone like you that's marked for death? / who else is gonna be with you when you breathe your last? / who else is going to take my place and hold and keep you safe? / who else is going to stay? who else is going to stay?

DREAM GIRL EVIL // FLORENCE + THE MACHINE

am i your dream girl? / you think of me in bed / but you could never hold me you like me better in your head / make me evil / then i'm an angel instead / at least you'll sanctify me when i'm dead

HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS // CAROLINE POLACHEK

maybe there's something going on, i'm not insane / if i'm already out of time, then make it worse / go on and hit me in the heart hit me where it hurts / go on and hit me in the / blindspot, achilles' heel / vertigo, vertigo / high stakes, popped ears / promise one day / you will hate me

THE LIAR // MARRIAGES

oh mother they say, they say he was made for me / just you wait a while, just you wait and see / he tattooed with the devil's eyes / idle hands so kind / that lies / but he lies / you lie, you lie, and suffer my name / it's mine, it's mine to give or take it

GEMINI // NIGHTS

lust only pops in mysterious ways / sleep over don't get invested / fall in love and then i pay her rent / hustle and hustle and hustle and die

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS // CHET FAKER

you don't know what love is / do you know how lost a heart fears? / the thought of reminiscing / and how the taste of tears / lose their taste for kissing / you don't know how hearts burn / for love that cannot live yet never dies / until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes

MONEY // TARA CAROSIELLI

love me like your money / i just want you for myself i put on a show / love you better than the others, you don't even know / tell me why you're never here and always doing road / baby when it's time to leave i don't wanna go / i just want you for myself did i say it too late?

I HEARD (FT. THE DREAM AND VORY) // DJDS

and still i wait up, i stay up, i wake up / i pray about you / i know i f*ucked up, throw my face in this cup / can't live without you / but he lies like i lied, but my lies were sweeter / he lies 'cause he wants you / and i lie 'cause i need you

TRY ME // THE WEEKND

better try me / don't you mess with me / don't you mess with me / the way i kissed your scars / the way i fixed your heart, oh / don't you miss me babe? / don't you miss me babe?

MY TEARS RICOCHET // TAYLOR SWIFT

you know i didn't want to have to haunt you / but what a ghostly scene / you wear the same jewels that i gave you / as you bury me / i didn't have it in myself to go with grace / 'cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave / and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? / cursing my name, wishing i stayed / look at how my tears ricochet

WHERE'S MY LOVE - ALTERNATE VERSION // SYML

old sheets / but where's my love / i am searching high / i'm searching low in the night / does she know that we bleed the same? / don't wanna cry, but i break that way / did she run away? did she run away? i don't know / if she ran away, if she ran away, come back home / just come back home

WALKIN' AFTER MIDNIGHT (FEAT. MAURA DAVIS) // KI:THEORY

i go out walkin' / after midnight / out in the starlight / just hoping you might be / somewhere walkin' / after midnight / searching for me / i walk for miles / out along the highway / well, that's just my way / of saying i love you / i'm always walkin' / after midnight / searching for you

EXILE (FEAT. BON IVER) // TAYLOR SWIFT

i'm not your problem anymore / so who am i offending now? / you were my crown / now i'm in exile, seein' you out / i think i've seen this film before / so i'm leaving out the side door / so step right out, there is no amount / of crying i can do for you / all this time / we always walked a very thin line / you didn't even hear me out / you never gave me a warning sign (i gave so many signs)

IN YOUR LIKENESS // WOODKID

watch my fears unravel / can you see the truth of me? / i don't want the light required / for this endless walk on wire / i know / i'm not made in your likeness

#only if you want to of course! 🖤#im a bit tardy so please feel free to pass on this if you've done it already! finally catching up on the things I've missed <3 #oc: edelgard vanderweyden #x: edelgard x reese #oc: caitrìona mac cathmhaoil #x: caitrìona x marcus #oc: viktoriya vays #x: viktoriya x jenkins #oc: líadáin talovaire #x: líadáin x leon #my brain is a fried egg or you can BET i would have added #more janskaxn like.. i slept the whole day todayjhabhkjsa. the post con sleepiness i tell ya #but lía and leon had NO BUSINESS taking me out at the knees like this! their playlist GETS me everytime!#i have done EXTENSIVE lore esays on daft pretty boys and make me your queen and how they're literally eddie and reese!#and now theres a new contender! bad habits makes me crazy its them!#SPEAKING OF SONGS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY! killer and marked for death! especially after the recent update! they make me crazy!#GODD like.. his most recent sitch.. the missing chestnut from the fire and how he's quite literally marked for death now?#and in killer? after samhain? and the DANCING..! that song THAT SONG like..! this is fine!#and just the chefs kiss of vika and jenkins I MISS THEM SO MUCH GAHH they mean the world to me!#in honor of the upcoming dlc theyre living in my head rent free again! shes back! return of the queen!#leg.ocs #leg.txt #leg.tagged #TY SO MUCH DEARS <3

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randomyuu · 1 year

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A JJK GoYuu fancomic... of a fanfic (read right to left)

You know… despite me getting into JJK fandom this year, I’ve never drawn any JJK characters. (cue me drawing 9 whole-ass comic pages-)

This wonderful fic is titled (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become by @voxofthevoid. This comic covers chapter 1 scenes.

Beware of the tags, as the fanfic is NSFW. Oh, and also, manga spoilers! Major character and arc spoilers! I’ve read until chapter 4 and no NSFW so far, but still, beware!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43446157/chapters/109219954

I hope you enjoy reading this comic and the fanfic if you decide to!

Update: Chapter 6 scene fanart

More of my random thoughts and an early drawing of GoYuu below:

Have I told you I’m not used to drawing manga as well? Manga panels are pain. PAIN, I tell you. I shouldn’t have done this, but I did. I did, because every time I read the synopsis of this fic I keep picturing manga-like scenes. You should blame me for reading those AllYuu doujinshis.

It was… interesting experience. I was struggling a bit with the balloon consistency, like, do I use white boxes or just italic words for thoughts? Or maybe a balloon with a cloud-like border?

And there’s GoYuu (YuuGo? Idk honestly, don’t care lol) themselves. As I said, I literally have never drawn JJK-related content before. So when I started thinking about the panelling, I realised that I don’t really know how to draw Gojo, even more a thousand-year-old Yuuji. A whole day is spent researching Gojo, Yuuji and Sukuna’s appearances lol. Sukuna’s markings are a problem since I can’t find a full view of his markings. I know I can just finally watch the anime (yes I haven’t watched the anime, only some short clips; yes I know the animation is good, and I really want to watch it but my brain doesn’t want to) or re-read the manga, but I don’t want to ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

After going through Google images, Twitter and Reddit, I whipped up a front drawing of GoYuu as my reference:

Gojo’s is easier because he hasn’t changed from the official (I blatantly eyeballing the character sheet I found haha), but Yuuji is different. Yuuji’s hair is longer; if I recall, there’s no exact description of his clothes. I assume he’s topless due to this description: Messy pink hair, long enough to cover the creature’s nape but not to hide the segmented dark markings running down his back, shifts in the wind.

And halfway through storyboarding, I realised that I have no experience using screen tones. Whatsoever. So off I go searching for a screentone bundle I can freely download and slowly figure my way out after fully lining the page.

And we haven’t even touched perspective, background, achromatic colouring, non-human characters—man, I really bite more than I can chew lmaooo

Ah, the things you would do to satiate that drawing mood ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Also, I hope I’ll have time to draw more fanarts of JJK GoYuu fanfics because they live rent-free in my brain and I need them to get out. Maybe other pairings as well? I like quite a lot of pairings that involve Yuuji. He’s precious, and I love having it shown to me over and over through fanfics.

#Yuu's art #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk-ship #goyuu #fan comic #omg idk what to put here #attempting at manga-ing #is that even a word #jjk ship #fanart #unrelated to this but I was so tired that I didn't notice two mistakes in the title lol #fixed them though #jjk fic #五悠 #5u #gojo x yuji #gojou x yuuji #gojo x itadori #goyu

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fourraccoonsinacoat · 3 months

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Midnight Prayer | One Shot

Pairing: Astarion x Dark Urge / Tiny bit of Enver Gortash x Dark Urge

Chapter Count: One Shot | Read on AO3 Word Count: 4,016

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 after Gortash's coronation in Act 3. Explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge after the implications of a past relationship between the Dark Urge and Enver Gortash are made known. Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Mentions of Violence, Soft Astarion, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature

Author Note: Those new lines in Patch 6 between Durge and Gortash are to blame for this. Plus the fact that I adore the Astarion x Dark Urge dynamic because they're on the same level, meaning they're both barely functioning beings who no business getting into a relationship and yet they make it work. Also, Astarion gets to be the supportive one when Durge goes off the rails.

All these idiots live rent free in my head and I had this scene that just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. This is a one-shot based on the same Durge MC, Eli, as my other ongoing fic - which I have not updated in some time, and I am sorry for that. Have some brainrot to make up for it! This is grade-A mushy, soft garbage.

Sleep was difficult to find as Eli lay on the stiff makeshift cot. Her glassy half-focused eyes were fixed on the patchwork ceiling of Astarion’s tent as her mind coiled around and around, like a snake trying to suffocate itself. Her thoughts were circular, aimless and chaotic as she chased the ghosts of memories that always haunted her nights.

Sleeplessness was nothing new, and Eli’s propensity for restlessness and nightmares was well known throughout camp. She had a tendency to toss and turn as rest evaded her, and when the darkness of slumber finally overtook her in the small hours of mornings it was never peaceful. She was often agitated and unsettled, mumbling low to herself until the shock of some cruel fever dream sent her into an outburst of screams as she flailed and fought to rouse herself from whatever terror had uncaged itself in her mind.

She’d wake shivering, breathing as if she were fighting for her life against legions of the Absolute rather than visions within her own mind. He was always there, though, whispering soothing reminders that they were safe. That they were together. That the horrors inside her broken mind were toothless phantoms. Remnants of a fractured past she could only catch flashes of.

She’d offered on many occasions to sleep alone, saying it made little sense for both Astarion and her to suffer because of her tortuous insomnia. He’d been firm in his refusals and finally told her that if she didn’t stop saying such ludicrous nonsense he’d figure out how to charm one of Gale’s used socks to jump down her throat every time she mentioned the idea.

Gods, was she thankful for that absurd and stubborn man.

She turned her head, eyes focusing on the pale elf who slept beside her. They’d settled into a habit of overnighting in his tent due to the plank of wood that served as a haphazard bed. Like her, Astarion’s sleep could be troubled, disturbed by his own breeds of monsters that lurked around the corners in his brain. His past was filled with grim and vicious memories. What small comforts he had been able to acquire over the past 200 years were things he clung to like life rafts upon a boiling and thrashing ocean. The stiff plank he slept on brought him a strange sort of peacefulness. He’d told her once that the only soft bed he’d been allowed to use while under Cazador’s control was the large plush bed in the palace’s guest room. The room where he and the other spawn “entertained” those who were brought back for Cazador to feast upon.

His bed in the dorms had been stiff and old, and yet he’d far preferred it to the lavish guest bed. Sleeping on something too downy and cushioned reminded him of the countless nights he’d spent being smothered into a pliable mattress by whatever piece of transient garbage he’d lured back to the palace. They’d have their way with him while he’d disassociate, his body working through the motions of sex while his mind walled itself off. It had become second nature to disconnect himself from the present the moment he slumped onto that soft bed.

It was a cruel byproduct of his torment that laying on comfortable bedding triggered a deep seeded anxiety in him, but Eli honestly didn’t mind the stiff makeshift cot Astarion had set up in his tent for them. Her body recalled sleeping on worse, even if her mind didn’t clearly remember the details. Astarion had even started laying down a thin bedroll atop the plank once their shared sleeping arrangements became a regular thing. It had been completely unprompted. One evening she’d entered his tent and it had simply been there, an unspoken acknowledgement of the validity of their relationship.

They were both uncouth morons when it came to navigating the delicacies and emotions of romantic relationships. They’d been quick to indulge in one another physically, the both of them looking to find refuge from the specters of their pasts in one another’s arms. They hadn’t meant for it to mean anything, and yet they’d kept seeking one another out - drawn together like kobolds are drawn to shiny objects. They’d tried ignoring their growing affections, but neither one of them were particularly good at pretending to be nonchalant and stable. Primarily because neither one of them really knew what that looked like.

Astarion had confessed first, admitting to his initially manipulative intentions with her and revealing truths about his enslavement to Cazador that made her heart ache for him. Eli knew, instinctively, that empathy was not an emotion she was incredibly familiar with. It made her anxious, feeling for someone else. And yet, when Astarion had said he wanted something real with her, she’d felt an almost wild desperation surge to life within herself. She wanted that, too. With him.

A cruel and vicious voice at the back of her mind had admonished her for her pathetic weakness. She should be punished, skinned alive for allowing herself to feel this kind of fondness and yearning for someone else. Once, she had been worshiped as a god by those around her. Once, she had been feared and her name whispered in awe and horror. Once, she had been something powerful, something violent and vicious, a conduit of destruction and carnage. Though the details were fractured, scattered about her ruined brain like shards of glass, she knew instinctually that she was a child of slaughter and that the bonds of mortals should have been beneath her.

But that didn’t stop her. Perhaps…perhaps she could be different. Something else. Something that was valued as more than just a weapon. Something that wasn’t just a means to an end. Something that didn’t need to butcher and rip the world inside out in order to be loved.

She’d pushed the Urge down, beating it back as she confessed her own affections for Astarion.

That had been some weeks ago, back in the Shadowlands. Now, they were just outside Baldur’s Gate, and things were…good between them. To her never-ending astonishment.

Her eyes focused on the sleeping elf next to her. He looked so peaceful, the worried lines of his face smooth and serene at rest. He was pallid, pretty and perfect like a cadaver forever tranquil. Just one stab, a stake through the heart and he’d always be like this – he’d never know torment or despair again. No one would ever hurt him.

She took a long, slow breath and banished the intrusive thoughts back to the shadows of her mind where they always lingered. She would never…she couldn’t…gods, she hated those thoughts that never let her be. They filled her with a sick guilt as she recalled nights tied up, howling and screaming and raging as she spat out all the ways she’d flay and ruin his beautiful body. Afterwards, once the Urges had quieted, Astarion would simply laugh as he cut her bonds, always joking about how you had to pay good coin for degradation like that in the city. He’d hold her until she calmed, the both of them quiet, content to just be together for one more day.

They shouldn’t work, not as a couple or as anything else, really. They were barely functional as individuals. Together, they should have been about as operational as a dumpster that was missing one wheel and was on fire. But they did work. They were careful with the broken pieces of each other, treating them with reverence and respect. They understood pain all too well, and not just the physical kind but the raw and panicked pain of having everything you valued ripped away. Of having your very self torn from your control…the pain of being used and the fear that no matter how loud you screamed or how hard you fought it would happen again.

The fear that you would never be anything more than a tool.

And so they were gentle with one another, in a way only reserved for them. Careful touches and trusting hands, concerned glances and warm smiles, constant wordless affirmations that they were at one another’s backs - that when one of them crumbled the other would be there to help build them back up, attentively and without judgement.

Neither of them knew what they were doing. Their combined histories with healthy relationships added up to an unsurprising number of zero. Astarion had admitted to her that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she couldn’t remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers were nonexistent…at least…

At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

The name had always struck her as strange, from the first time she heard it when Karlach told Eli about the tiefling had acquired her infernal engine. The name had stirred something in her brain, like a familiar tune that she couldn’t remember the words for. And every time someone mentioned him, that sense grew stronger. It was as if there was a crack in her skull and every time she’d reach for that sense of familiarity, it would leak out and away just beyond reach.

Until today, when they stood in the opulent and grand hall of Wyrm’s Rock Fortress, surrounded by the elite of Baldur’s Gate, and she finally saw the man who had wrought so much suffering not only upon the city and the coast, but on her friends…

The flash in his eyes when they met hers…a sense of knowing, a sting of excitement. That spark of familiarity suddenly blazed hot and she knew this man was not a stranger. Not to her…

“If you keep staring, darling, I’m going to start charging you for the privilege,” a soft and slightly chiding voice lurched her back into the present.

Eli flinched, startled, blinking away the haze of her thoughts and focusing on Astarion, who now was peering at her through half-lidded and slightly weary eyes. He’d been sleeping with an arm draped across her waist – Astarion had grown fond of resting with an arm or a hand touching her, and she liked it, too. It was comforting.

He trailed his hand along her side in a calming manner, brows furrowing slightly with a hint of concern.

“Sorry,” Eli said with a slight yawn. “I was worlds away.” She gave him a small, tired smile as she reached out and brushed her fingers against the ruffles of his shirt, mindlessly beginning to fiddle with the cloth.

Astarion’s hand slid to her back, pulling her closer until her head was tucked below his chin and he could rest with his cheek against her silvery hair.

Eli could feel the soft rumble of his voice vibrate up from his chest as he chuckled quietly. “I’ve been told I have that effect on people,” he mumbled cheerily as his other hand began to gently brush through her hair, fingers carefully smoothing out any snarls as he stroked back and forth.

She hummed appreciatively, breathing deep and feeling eased by the familiar scent of rosemary and bergamot. “And who told you that?” she asked, teasingly.

“Hmm,” he pondered, running a dexterous finger along the side of her ear, causing goosebumps to prick along her arms. “I think it was you,” he mused slyly before his voice dipped lower into a growl and she felt his breath warm against her ear. “You remember, don’t you? That one night you told me I ravished you so thoroughly your soul left your body.”

He couldn’t see Eli’s exaggerated eye roll, but he could hear the grin in her voice as she responded. “I seem to remember that very same night you saying I exhausted you into delirium,” she teased, poking tenderly at his chest. “In the best way possible, of course,” Eli smirked.

Astarion sighed, the hand on her back drawing aimless circles as he murmured, “I do miss our nighttime trysts.”

Eli smiled, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and placing a light kiss there. “You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or some such bullshit like that…”

“They sound awfully boring, whoever they are.” The vampire hummed low in his throat, kicking a leg over her waist and hooking his foot between her legs at her knees so that they were tangled together in a possessive embrace.

Eli just chuckled. They’d backed off the sexual aspects of their relationship for now, the both of them having their own flavors of hang ups that they needed to sort through. For Eli, that meant parsing through her strange, sometimes disturbing Urges which continued to insist that the lines between butchery and eroticism were blurred. Bloodplay was one thing, and that would likely remain a happy little staple in their titillating toolbox once they were ready to be that physically intimate again. But Eli had…other thoughts. Thoughts she wasn’t exactly comfortable with. Darker ones that bubbled up at extremely inopportune times and had her questioning whether she really wanted to shed light on her obscured past.

She breathed in Astarion’s scent, grounding herself in the now and pushing those musing away for another day. The desire between Eli and Astarion had not diminished, and on more than one occasion they had teetered precariously on the boundaries they’d set and wondering whether they should just say fuck it and…well…fuck. They’d always talk themselves down from the ledge, though, comfortable in the knwoeldge that when it did happen it would be earthshattering.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, love?” Astarion’s voice held a note of worry and Eli realized she’d been drifting off into the confines of her own brain again.

“Everything,” she sighed, frustrated with herself.

Astarion was silent for a moment, considering. The hand in her hair stilled while the one on her back pulled her in a bit tighter. “Is it…” he began, then paused a bit uncertainly, hesitant with his question. “Are you thinking about today? About…Gortash?”

He said the name so quietly that it would have been inaudible had they not been so closely pressed together. Eli wasn’t surprised about the question. She’d been acutely aware of how Astarion’s eyes never left her as she spoke with the newly crowned Archduke of Baldur’s Gate earlier that day. How he had discreetly positioned himself closely behind her, just off to her right. How he’d tensed, fingers ghosting near the hilt of a hidden dagger when Gortash said he’d always liked Eli. How his gaze darkened and his jaw tightened as Astarion sized the man up from across the hall before they left.

She knew this was a delicate situation for the vampire. Astarion despised showing any sort of vulnerability that could be construed as a reason for pity. Vulnerability, in general, was something he was still figuring out how to navigate after two centuries of living in an environment where anything and everything that could be used against him was twisted into a tool for subjugation and pain. Even with her, there were times when he wouldn’t let his walls come down, needing space to sort through his own internal barriers before he was ready to open up. Eli didn’t mind, and would give him all the time and space he needed. And bit by bit it became easier, for the both of them.

“That…yes,” she admitted, wanting to be truthful with him.

It wasn’t just Gortash, though. It was what he had told her, about Eli’s role in the whole Cult of the Absolute fraud. It was difficult for her to reconcile what she had apparently done with who she was now…the misery she’d set in motion. The lives she had destroyed. She shut her eyes and pressed closer to Astarion, seeking comfort in the cool of his skin against the inferno she felt inside.

He hugged her close, voicing a thought that had been gnawing away at his insides all day. “Were the two of you…close? Like us?”

The tentative, halting way in which he asked squeezed at her heart. As if he were bracing himself for something terrible, for something that would rip her away from him, just like everything else he’d ever given a damn about.

She thought for a while, mulling over the question. There was still so much that she didn’t know about who she was. Who she had been. She’d tell him what she could, though. He deserved that.

“I think we were. Close, I mean,” she clarified when she felt Astarion stiffen anxiously. “Not like us, though.”

She pulled her head back, out from under his chin, so she could see his face and meet his gaze with her own. Astarion’s eyes were round and distressed, the pinch between his brows furrowed and the lines of his face were tense. His eyes searched her own, desperately wanting to know who that man was to her while also fearing the answer.

Eli smiled warmly, bringing her hand up to brush one of his white curls behind his ear. His face softened slightly at her touch while the hand on her back clutched at her shirt as if to hold her here with him.

“There’s still so much darkness in my memory. But, there are things that have come back in flashes and fragments,” she explained, holding his gaze as her finger trailed to the edge of his eyebrow. “And while I’m not wholly sure what Gortash and I were to one another, I know it wasn’t like this.” Her hand came to rest on his cheek, thumb gently caressing his face near the corner of his mouth.

“Not like us,” she affirmed with a tenderness that allowed Astarion to relax, the stiffness easing out of him as the hint of a smile twitched at his lips. “He knew what happened to me,” she said softly, putting into words a thought that had been lingering at the back of her mind.

“He knew what happened to me, and he welcomed the person who did it into his confidence,” she said with a tinge of sadness to her voice. There was an ache of betrayal behind her words, and thought she didn’t fully understand everything her history with Gortash entailed, she understood this. “He stood by while I was unmade. While everything I was, the person he claims to care for, was brutalized and decimated.”

Eli’s words took on a cold edge, sharp as a shard of ice. Astarion listened intently, his breath caught at the back of his throat. He ached to pull her back into him, to wrap her up in his arms and shut the world out. Instead, he placed his hand on the back of her own and intertwined his fingers with hers, holding it against his cheek as Eli spoke.

“When I woke up on the nautiloid, I was nothing. Just the discarded scraps of whoever I had been. I had been thrown away. And nobody came looking for me.” She paused, her eyes flicking down in a brief moment of uncertainty.

There were some truths between them that had still gone unsaid. Truths that neither of them were ready to admit, and some that simply didn’t need words to be understood. Not this, though. This, she wanted him to hear.

“Since then, it’s been difficult not to think of myself as damaged goods. Something that was used up until it broke and was discarded.” She felt Astarion squeeze her hand and she looked back to him. There was a pang of recognition in his red eyes. “Everyone who I spoke to about my…urges, they all confirmed that there was something very wrong with me, even if they sympathized. Everyone except you.”

She paused, brushing her thumb once more against his face before she lifted her hand from him and took his own hand in hers. She pulled it to her lips, lightly kissing his knuckles while he stared at her, afraid to take his eyes off her for fear that she and this moment might evaporate if he did. He had stopped breathing, which luckily was not something he necessarily needed to do in order to maintain his existence.

Eli searched his face as Astarion waited for her to go on, breathless and just a tiny bit desperate to hear what she would say next. She wondered if he understood just how much it meant to her to have someone who didn’t see the wreck that she was when they looked at her. Someone who didn’t see a monster and only saw her, broken pieces be damned.

She thought he probably did…

“You were the only one who encouraged me to simply be whoever I was, darkness and all. I know at the time you were probably just looking to entertain yourself with whatever chaos and bloodshed I could cause,” she laughed and the expression on Astarion’s face melted into one of complete adoration.

“Guilty,” Astarion admitted with a laugh of his own. “And you haven’t disappointed,” he added softly, brushing a knuckle back up against her lips with delicate reverence.

She kissed at it, holding his tender gaze. “I don’t think you know how much that meant to me, though. And then later, when I was at my worst, you stayed by me and took care of me and you never stopped.”

Eli swallowed down the lump in her throat and blinked away the warmth that was threatening at her eyes.

“Nothing else could be like us, because no one has ever cared about me like you,” she concluded, smiling softly and whispering the words with the sincerity of a prayer.

Astarion stared at Eli for a long moment, emotions colliding and burning in his chest with so much vigor he was surprised his dead heart didn’t start beating again. He felt elated and awed by what she’d said. So much so that he was struck speechless and could only play her words over and over again in his mind, wanting to capture them perfectly and tuck them somewhere deep inside himself where no one could reach to steal them away. He couldn’t recall anyone ever saying anything to him that made him feel so cherished and significant. He traced the planes of her face with eyes that were beginning to wet as he tried to clear his throat and failed.

Eli watched Astarion carefully for a moment before her eyes widened in concern and she lifted a hand to him, carding it gently through his curled hair.

“Oh shit, did I break you?” she asked, only half joking as she stroked her hand through his hair.

The feel of it helped to calm him as a wide smile spread over his face, eyes half-lidded and looking at Eli like she was the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

“Come here you sweet, silly thing,” Astarion said, voice low and underpinned with a raw adoration that caused a flutter to take up in Eli’s chest.

He pulled her into a needy embrace; one hand placed softly in her hair as he tucked her head back under his chin, the other hand tightening around the small of her back to hold her close. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in slow, savoring her scent. She’d always smelled like wildflowers and the cool mist before a storm, like something exciting and freeing.

“Gods, you’re incredible,” he breathed, wondering what in the hells he had ever done in his irrelevant life to deserve her admiration. “I don’t think I’m ever going to want to let you go, my love.”

Eli wrapped her arms around him and for a moment she felt safe, secure and at peace.

“Then don’t,” she whispered against him.

They stayed wrapped up in one another until dawn, thankful to have one more day and hopeful for so many more.

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anewcalamity · 4 months

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A New Calamity: Page 471

2.9.2024

STATUS UPDATE: As many of you may already know, I had a major seizure over New Year's, and after scans it's been made clear that my cancer is back for the 4th time, and it's living rent-free in my brain. I'm on a new chemo and a new anti-seizure medicine. Getting used to everything has been... a challenge.

I'm turning 33 on Valentine's Day. I'm honestly surprised I made it this far. I plan on living for as long as is scientifically possible for someone in my situation. Some happy birthdays would be nice. :3

I'm still about $30/m bucks short of being able to afford nice things like groceries and healthy food. I'm still drawing, which makes me feel satisfied with my life. If you can-- if you can afford to-- if you love this comic-- consider sending me a dollar or two. Just a little goes a long way. And my needs are few. Good food, drawing this comic on my janky old computer. Family. Friends. My cats.

I don't see why I should die just because a few of my cells went nutso.

Love,

-Faith April (Maldrea)

Donations are appreciated: Patreon / Ko-fi / Paypal

ANC Ghirahim @stylincheetah

Leonus @sparksplitter

Va Eheníhv language @gerudoshikyapril

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12 • Chapter 13 • Chapter 14 • Chapter 15 • Chapter 16

#a new calamity #linke #ganondorf #ganon #ghirahim #lord ghirahim #zelda #legend of zelda #comic #webcomic #fancomic #tloz #loz #kohga #master kohga #musa #yiga #yiga clan #va eheniv

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wolfythewitch · 10 months

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Forever mourning this one odydiopen zombie apocalypse fic I found that last updated in 2021. You were incredible. Lives rent free in my brain. No one's doing it like you

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 10 months

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Aight here’s a few of my favorite SP fics that no one asked for

I’m generally more of a one shot kinda lad but since getting into South Park I’ve read SO MANY GREAT longer ones so here’s just some highlights: (all on ao3)

Ship In A Bottle FayOfTheForest. One of the first sp AU’s I read, we got PIRATES. HOMOEROTIC SWORD FIGHTING. WLW CREEK. SLOW BURN STYLE. (Injured stan my beloved) KENNY. BUNNY. The parents SUCK. Literally such a kickass story!

This House of Mine by OrcaTimes. VIOLENCE. GANG ACTIVITY. CREEK. I really love the characterization of everyone in this fic, especially Craig. Seriously man. Also THE K2 IN THIS SLAYS (we got some PRIME Kyle injury too god I love him) THE ENDING IS SO SATISFYING TOO!!!

Peppermint by boxwinebaddie. Bro. Literally my all time favorite style fic. I’m so serious. The writing and story are BEAUTIFUL LIKE SO FUCKING AMAZING The PINING. THE HEADCANONS. I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS. Pls if you check out any of my Recs READ THIS ONE.

Maybe For Real This Time & The Kids Are Alright by WeirdBBQDad. Dude. I have no words other than KENNY FUCKIN MCCORMICK. Also Style. Also families. Just- just check it out.

Hang ‘Em High by littledeathsinmusicalbeds. Cowboy au. Creek. Established Style. Bounty hunter Kenny. Massive slay.

The Thief Trilogy by wintergrew. WHEN I SAY IT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE. The world building is PHENOMENAL literally my favorite SOT AU OF ALL. Long as hell, but SO worth the read holy fuck. I adore Stick Of Truth.

You’re The Prettiest Boy I’ve Ever Seen by burnt_pancakes. CREEK. STYLE. MISCOMMUNICATION. BUNNY. KENNY IN GENERAL. the friendships in this are PERFECT.

Your name written upon mine by sooduhnim. SOT STYLE. Soulmate au that’s INCREDIBLE seriously I love this one and can’t wait for an update.

How We Began by PastorCraigEnjoyer. Ok yes I’m cringy as shit for the self promo but this is my favorite long fic that I’ve written. Slow burn SOT STYLE, no war just fantasy gays falling in love, injury, sickfic, all my favorite bullshit and I loved writing it ok.

N1SM by kiritila. A classic in the fandom. Style. A masterpiece.

Between the Sinners and the Saints by KaiterTot. Oh. My. God. When I say this one altered my brain chemistry… THE ENDING DUDE HOLY-

A Few Last Wolves by Jwink85. Yes, I am a resident of the State Of Style by way of Creek Nation but this is Cryle. And it’s a slay. If y’all liked Frank and Bills episode in TLOU, it’s kind of an au of that. It works man.

Winter Butterfly ALSO by Jwink85 and ALSO Cryle. What can I say it’s incredible. The Style in the beginning is CUTE until shit hits the fan, too, and I thought this fic was a really interesting take on all the characters and relationships. I adore Tweek in this one too.

Something Sweet Like Honey by bluebryy. Ok this one is unsettling and creepy Craig makes me feel icky but I cannot WAIT for an update on that fic, I got my fingers crossed for Style endgame. Also CHECK OUT THEIR ART ON HERE they converted me to a short king Kyle truther and it’s a slay tbh.

Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating In Space by gremlinteeth. A classic. The first sp multi chapter I read. THE LORE BRO. CREEK. STYLE. STANS CHARACTERIZATION GOES SO HARD HES MY BOIIIII

Ok. That’s all my recs for now. Sry for being insane.

#fandom #south park #style #fanfiction #creek #au #stick of truth #ao3 fanfic #sp bunny #south park kenjorine #fic rec #i’m insane #sp fic #cryle #recommendations #south park k2

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defiledheartsblog · 4 months

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Just wanted to remind you that Camilla still lives in my brain rent-free lol. --Just a simp guy patiently waiting for a Camilla update.

I'm so happy to hear that, Camilla simp guy! I'm just in the process of deciding whose chunk I'm going to focus on next. I would love to write them all in one go but I doubt I can do that now since these scenes are pretty big. Thank you for your patience, it's greatly appreciated haha🤍

#camilla #anon ask

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