#TWO MORE FUCKING YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL

[eldritchwhispersofficial]

I just took 3000 psychic damage from the guest speaker my History teacher brought in ranting about how the CIA killed John F Kennedy and how Hitler died in upstate New York in 1979, he also said that Donald Trump deserved presidential immunity and that Trump wasn't guilty of stealing government documents, but Biden was. Just in case y'all wanted to know what the state of education in America is like right now.

#jesus fucking christ #jesus fucking fuck #shut the fuck uuuuuuup #psychic damage #good god #conspiracy theories #i hate it here #get me out of this hell #get me out of this country #i hate it i hate it i hate it #please help me #i cannot cope #TWO MORE YEARS #TWO MORE FUCKING YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL #*bangs head against wall* #america #fuck america #fuck the us education system #fuck school #fuck you #fuck off #i wanna take a nap #us education #america has a problem #america has failed me #education has failed me #i need therapy #save me cool mutuals #cool mutuals #SAVE ME COOL MUTUALS

[anaalnathrakhs]

love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what

#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school #because i cant kick my parents out #and appartments cost money #and i dont have a car to sleep in #i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult #anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ????? #find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships #all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options: #to become an academic #or to become a freelancer #i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit) #i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently #but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh... #two summers ago #incredibly good for my mental health as you can see #god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases #but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out #several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just #am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes. #does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me #on top of being unpleasant? #FUCK NO #i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager #now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education #and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously #perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money #broadcasting my misery #vent

[blueberryblogger]

just saw someone recycling ye olde "X character doesn't read as Y identity to me, someone who doesn't & has never held that identity & thus am not as intimately familiar with mannerisms, tropes & characterizations that are typically associated with Y identity. There is no evidence for X being Y and you guys are acting insane."

like. do you understand that you are using the EXACT SAME excuse that other people are using to shit on YOUR headcanon that you're so attatched too because it has so much evidence?

did it ever cross your mind that it would probably be harder for you, person who isn't X, to pick up on subtler tropes & identifiers of X that you've never experienced because you aren't X?

like you get how it sounds like you're shitting on other wueer people?

#blocking another god damn fantasy high account that i really liked #because when people say 'theres no evidence for your headcanon' and theyre wrong its bad and tbeyre erasing underrepresented identities #but when YOU say 'theres no evidence for this' you are good and correct and the rest of us are just stupid weirdos #like oh my fucking god bro #if i see one more person who isnt fucking gay say 'erm actually fabian cant be gay he liked girls' im gonna lose it #gay men also experience comphet! #and it's not because he's 'effeminate' #because he really isn't THAT effeminate or flamboyant #he dances and he talks like a rich boy and those are the only two things i can think lf #that make him seem 'effeminate' #but like. dude rides a motorcycle from hell. he fights with a sword and plays football #he punched someone on the first day of school & routinely punches and gets punched by his friends #like. fabian is wildly more stereotypically masculine than he is feminine #most of us think Fabian is gay because up until he took interest in Mazey #he had exclusively expressed interest in girls that were unavailable or unobtainable #his 'type' was literally toxic and/or unavailable women #which SCREAMS comphet to anyone who has fucking experienced it before #'yeah i love women but only the ones i cant have amirite lads' #'classic completely heterosexual man behavior' #anyway #i think its incredibly rude to take people seeing their lived experiences in a character and say 'youre insane bc i dont see it' #especially when YOU YOURSELF have a headcanon that a huge chunk of people cannot understand fully but accept anyway because they get it #because they understand seeing yourself in a character and how important that can be #unlike you #vagueposting #me when i vague for the first time in like 3 years

[meraki-yao]

Question to the adults of the internet from a confused, exhausted, depressed 19-year-old:

At what point do you admit that you're on the wrong path/wrong choice and no amount of hard work is gonna make the situation better and you should just change and start over?

#personal #vent #seriously im so fucking done #my mother berated me for not trying hard enough and not wanting to hang on for another two years #WELL THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IN HIGH SCHOOL #THREE MORE YEARS AND I'LL BE DONE WITH THIS STEM STUFF THAT I SUCK AT #WELL HERE WE FUCKING ARE #growing up #what the fuck #college #university

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be #a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute #ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to #‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m #not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik #ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig #and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs #but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord. #i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were #i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve #tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit #on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i #would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther #but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall #y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the #prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would #turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on #us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just #and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel #like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO #SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like #think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein #nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I #HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and #during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say #smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and #think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail #in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS. #I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE #BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#i still havent been able to get the pic of my entire family celebrating the holidays together out of my head. #my parents ruined every christmas they could. every holiday. every birthday. everything. there could be nothing special #w/o my dad calling my mother a fat pig or my mom interrupting his dinner prayer to call him a lying hypocrite. #w/o police getting involved&having to explain why my dad had my mom in a headlock or my mom had punched him in the face. #we could have nothing bc their need for misery outweighed their desire to give their children any fucking joy #every fucking time. #but i have to sit here&wonder if im in the wrong bc im being gaslit into missing a family+memories we all know damn well #never fucking happened. i blacked out half my fucking childhood&still know thats true. #i have to wonder if maybe-- just maybe-- they would actually apologize for everything they did if i ever called or wrote. #if maybe they would welcome me back w/o expecting an apology From Me. #but then i remember how the first thing my mother said when getting in touch w me after two years was how disappointed she was in me #for not thinking to tell anyone in the family that i was homeless. how selfish i was for it. #how she only contacted me after getting my email address-- the same one ive had since high school-- from family #bc shed been crying to our entire extended family about how worried she was about me so they managed to find my gofundme #&not a single person in my family donated to it-- but they all had a lot to say about it. didnt they. #&somehow i know that theres nothing for me w any of them. nothing at all but more disappointment. #&photos of all of them smiling that i have to remind myself are definitely not real. #bc how many of those exact photos had i been in? no matter what the answer is i dont remember a single one being real.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I’ll make myself tea, drink half of it, forget it, and then be less sure what i want to do when I find it again three hours later

#emma posts #it’s not warm #but I could make it warm? #am I still in the mood though? #it feels like a breakfast thing to me #when I was drinking it earlier I remembered how I used to down two cups worth of black tea with sweetener in the morning senior year #and maybe Junior year or whatever the one before it was #because I hate coffee but was barely holding on #and I’m like ‘I don’t know if it’s still a rule. but before one of my younger brothers graduated they made it so that the kids #could only drink clear liquids out of a clear bottle and I’m like. I think i would have died even faster #so many weird rules keep getting added after I’ve graduated and I’m like ‘these kids can’t have shit. huh?’ #to be fair I was also on a very high dose of an adhd medication at that time so my heart was going so fucking fast #my childhood psychiatrist seemed to live by the philosophy of ‘if it worked before and isn’t enough now just take even more’ #which probably (definitely) had a negative effect on me because of the side effects I was getting #new psychiatrist is like ‘maybe we should also consider trying other medications’ which is great. seriously #I’m not sure if my current one even existed when I was in school though #and I’m not sure it would have been enough but damn. the side effects are lesser #I’ve drank my current tea cold before. not black tea though #black tea goes cold and I’m out

[prodigal-upsiders]

she said i think i’m going to boston

or: Nancy, and Eddie, and new starts

Nancy Wheeler starts at Emerson College in the fall of 1986, and she is being so normal all the time. With Vecna actually dead, with the Upside Down actually finished this time, she tells herself that it’s finally time for her to move forward, no longer let it all tie her down. She tries so hard, but she’s always adrift, surrounded by her peers who just don’t get her even though they’re in the same classes, fired up about similar things, she’s just... not connecting with anyone the way she hoped. But she keeps trying to push herself forward into her life as she used to envision it, still stays every night in her dorm room even though she wakes up every hour with her entire body tensed, her muscles aching from clenching so tight so she doesn’t wake her roommate, and she’s exhausted, unable to get back to sleep because she can’t keep her guns under her bed here, so she sits with her back to the wall and watches the sunrise creep through the window, and she puts her makeup on and pretends, pretends, pretends until she can step off the campus and find the two people in this state who understand what she’s been through.

To her surprise, it’s Wayne Munson—who wouldn’t stay in Hawkins after what they did to his kid, who took his payout for his silence and the loss of his home and now has a small place outside the city, a little under an hour away because he wasn’t going to smother but he also wasn’t letting Eddie out of his sight for a while yet—who tells her what she needs to hear. Tells her that she can’t force feeling safe, or at least safe enough, but she can find it and she can sit herself down there, whatever that looks like, for as long as she needs to, and anybody who thinks less of her for that is never going to understand where she’s coming from, anyway. And she’s not even really surprised when she finds herself leaning on Eddie more after that—in Hawkins, in the hospital and during his recovery, he needed her and everyone else a lot, and he's not shy about it, and having him be vulnerable first lets her let her own guard down. And his apartment over the music shop is louder than her dorm room, removed from all her studies and fellow students, but it’s also a place where she can reach out and touch a weapon if she needs to, just to tell herself it’s there; and it’s where she can reach out and grab onto Eddie, too, and it’s not until she lets herself have that that she realizes how much she needed to be able to know he’s safe. She can go back to sleep, there. The rest of her family might still be in Hawkins, not always available to call and pretty far away to visit, but she can ground herself with knowing that Eddie’s safe, and that makes it easier to remember that the rest of them are, too.

And she finally starts relaxing and accepting that she can lean on people too, and Eddie is someone she can just be a weird trauma survivor around, just as much as she can relax and be a young adult and geek out about her interests around him too. They’re both huge nerds, and some of their interests overlap, and when they don’t it’s exciting and fun to pace around while she explains her thing, or watch Eddie as he jumps around and gesticulates wildly while he tells her about his.

On New Year's Day, 1987, Nancy pierces Eddie’s ears in their bathroom and in return he dyes her hair pink and helps her make a battle jacket. She fills it with not just music patches but also finds political and literary pins—defiantly adds pop patches, but keeps a Corroded Coffin pin that Robin made despite them no longer playing together, and a few metal pins that Eddie is very proud of. (She never gets really into any one particular artist, but Eddie makes her mixtapes of the songs she really likes, the ones with lyrics that make them fables and ghost stories swept up in sound.) It’s not about the scene, for her, but there is a lot of comfort and confidence she finds in donning the armor. She had a different kind of armor in Hawkins, but she wants something new now, something that marks her out as different from who she was. The sturdy denim weight across her shoulders and the bright shocks of pink in the corner of her eye feels like defense and offense both, as she adds protest pins to her collection and wears them out along with her pastel skirts and cute low-heeled boots. She’s a far cry from the hometown girl she used to be, but she’s also still the woman who grew from those roots, changed as she was by the darkness underneath. It’s 1987 and Nancy Wheeler goes to college, and she goes home to a loud little apartment on a busy street, and she feels safe enough to walk forward.

#Nancy Wheeler #Eddie Munson #the upsiders au #platonic edancy #nancy wheeler's journey from high school priss to drummer in a quasi-metal band #is just the surface of her journey through so much fucking trauma #on top of her growing up and leaving her hometown and discovering herself in her 20s #there is a lot more surrounding nancy and music and the start of her upsiders career #but this was getting long lol #and they're important stages on their own too #anyway #little weirdo friends nancy&eddie mean the world to me #so cheers to 1987 the year they make bad decisions together and do some healing #stranger things #stranger things au #fruity four #well just two of them in this post but robin and steve are being codependent in hawkins #while nancy and eddie are being codependent in boston #for now

[leonardburton]

the cool thing about getting news about people you got along with in school but didn't keep in touch with is that you'll be shown pictures of them on instagram or smth and they've grown into such beautiful adults like. i haven't really talked in you in ten years and you were such an uncomfortable and sad kid but you have a really nice smile and a cool sense of style and im glad you're studying something you love. nice autism awareness posts btw i knew we had something in common when we were 4 and you bit my arm so hard i had your teeth marks for days. could have been me. sorry my mum threw a fit

#i've kept in touch with 2 (two) people i was friends with in middle and high school #cos we were a trio and barely had any other friends #but one of them has kept in touch with Lots of people who also kept in touch with other people #so this summer i saw people i was friends with in middle school then barely ever talked to in high school and didn't keep in contact with #it was so nice to see them again! #plus one of them brought her bunny to the picnic and it really liked me so. fuck yeah #anyway we all started talking about people we went to school with #and they went from instagram account to instagram account to find people in follower lists #so i saw pictures of lots of people i straight up forgot about #including that guy who bit me when we were 4 #he was visibly and undeniably disabled so everyone was super cruel to him #i was Weird™ but not in an understandable way so people were also mean but like . more low key #anyway he and i talked and hung out a few times in primary but we lost touch completely afterwards #waved hello every other month when we crossed paths in hs #but i didn't have any way to keep in touch after that #he's quite the handsome young man now #good for him #he got his bachelor's degree this year #got a gf and everything #im glad #im still not gonna talk to him because i cant exactly go hii remember the girl you talked to briefly every other month several years ago? #well he's a guy now hi i am autistic also turns out how have you been doinng #i don't do conversations like that #anyway #lots of other people have grown up also #horsegirl who had a crush on my friend when we were 13 is still a horse girl. nurse in training. soo fucking hot like 😳

[zemnarihah]

my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....

#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth #she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her #directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her #and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because #you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple #days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and #she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends. #and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only #give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i #didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she #says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do. #i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was #really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think #for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe #since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why. #i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a #fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if #i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person #to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a #conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a #hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend #group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.

[larrysballetslippers]

.

#I haven't been online much #i live on discord and my mental health has been declining by the day #i hate the people that are supposed to be my friends in uni #and I hate myself for keeping up this act that I don't #im anxious all the time and I feel like depression is for real approaching #im going to the uni therapist in a few weeks as I decided that it might be good to get tips on being stable #i made an appointment when I was doing well three or four weeks ago #well this week was the intake meeting and bro bro I can't believe myself #i spent a year crying and growing and healing and everything and Im still at this shitty place #and the worst is that I know I have grown and that I am doing much better but I don't see any results #I don't necessarily feel better in my skin because I haven't struggled eith my body since high school #yeah I guess I know self worth now but do I still hurt myself by staying in that friend group yes #yeah Im more confident asked many people out but I have gotten to date two which you couldn't even call date 2 #well here I am still fucking crying about the same things #i guess life is like that but I'm just as sick of this life as I am of my anxiety #already cancelling plans and things I wanna do because of anxiety #so just fuck my life Im the only one standing in my way but im the biggest obstacle #will I ever be good? i guess we will see

[maggi-cube]

I hate stories that don’t acknowledge the obvious. “He was lazy all his life and just stayed in his room for 10 years” HIS MOM DIED WHEN HE WAS FIVE AND HE CLEARLY DEVELOPED DEPRESSION “10 years ago this human experimentation subject ‘kid’ blew up the building killing many” HE WAS LITERALLY A CHILD??? AND ALSO 5???

#believe it or not these are two separate examples #and I know it’s bc these kinds of action stories are usually geared towards someone who is in high school #so they have to pull an example out of their ass as to why everybody in the world would be mad at a fucking 15-year-old #but like??? Can we not do better if we’re going to make up a motive? Like we can’t make something more plausible

[caorl]

posting in ehre bc my friends are prob tired of me yapping about this on tt but i cant wait to get a neurologist appointment and got exams done bc im sure i have narcolepsy and have been for a couple years now yet im so so afraid of going bc what if i do have it. and worse. what if i dont have it and all my struggles actually have no explanation other than me being lazy and weak lmao i cant stop thinking about it im so anxious over this

#this is the year we get diagnosis DONE #but fr im so much more interedted in getting this sleep shit checked out #than i am on confirmingg my autism #bc at this point like. theres no way im not on thr spectrum lmao #like if my autism avaliation comes out negative it will be shocking to me #but i'll live ive spent 20 years thinking im just a freaky creature before i found out it could be autism so it eont weight as much ig #but the narcolepsy slash hypersomnia shit..that fucking bothers me.sm #it explains everything ive been having since i was about 13 lmao the peak was the last years of high school #and then living alone in college and getting sleep apralysis every day i got to the point i wouldnt even br frightned anymore #i still have it about like ojce every two weeks now but nowadays what bothers me most #is feeling my muscles go numb when im walking home from college bc i want to sleep #and having hallucinations when im waking up or falling asleep although im also used to these so they dont scare me bc i know im hallucinatin #yk.. #but yea the sleeping all day everyday fucking sucks #even when im having fun lol there are couple of videos of me playing the guitar for fun and just sleeping in the kiddle of it #also . when i got put on wellbutrin i had multippe convulsions #that tookme to the er and i dont remember a thing from that week so idk if it made some damage #bc they didnt make any exams at the hospital #they literally said i had overdose although i took the right dose #then injected some muscle relaxant w me #that made me convulse and go unconscious again #and then got me stable and sent me home like Yeah that happened idk just sleep it off #and i have migraines since i was 12 so liek #i hope the neurologist i get sent to takes me.serious #i feel like there is something going on yk #anywayssss #personal #narcolepsy #idk if theres a commujity here on the tags but lmk i feel all alone on this

[maddy-ferguson]

i spent two hours (two hours) with my "friends" from school today and i'm MISERABLE roman voice you need to stop this (@ me)

#and like i say: brf slt #forgot to say we were literally sitting down. in class. taking notes. like there's genuinely no reason for THAT to make me feel this bad! #i'm not even bad at talking to people i never talk to again in class or only hang out with in school not having real friends doesn't bother #me because i have friends outside of school but it's my third year so everyone already has established groups of friends and it's :/ like #on monday in my first class of the year the girl sitting next to me was very nice we talked and we have more classes in common like apart #from the big ones where everyone's here the ones where it's only maybe 30 people. so i'm like that's fun i hope i see her again and i did #but she's friends with the bigger group of friends my friends who don't actually like me are friends with like my non friend's boyfriend's #friends so THEIR friends. like what are the odds. i guess not that crazy because there's only maybe 200 of us or 150 i have no idea #but still #but anyway #today we have one of these classes where it's not everyone but it was like another group of students so it was #me. this girl i've been hanging out with for two years who i didn't want to keep hanging out with at the end of the year because of the way #she reacted to something i did that was like an honest mistake she took it wayyy too seriously and said some things i didn't like i was #like girl fuck you😭 except then they kept the exact same groups AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE and it was four months later so i actually #sat next to her and we were together for projects and things like that like my bad. that's on me. #and on her first day last year she met a girl who wasn't in our university the year before and they became bffs basically so it was them + #me. and i like the second girl better i think but she's insanely judgey like not to be like i'm so much better than her but i grew out of #the criticizing everyone 24/7 because it's genuinely a fun activity for me and i enjoy it mindset when i left middle school because the one #friend who liked it as much as me went to a different high school and i stopped seeing her every day. i made a post saying this in january #then during the second semester we became friends with another person i don't wanna explain how. we worked on a thing together for class #basically. them i genuinely like even though i don't think we would actually hang out out of school and have that many things to say to #each other. but they're more friends with girl 1 and girl 2 than they are with me because well i'm not comfortable with them so i talk less #than i would if i was comfortable. and there's also person 3's partner we have a few classes with who's cool but same as person 3 with the #being closer to girl 1 and girl 2 even though they're not even that close. but like. yeah idk #they just (girl 1 and girl 2) make me feel like i'm the weird kid in middle school and that wasn't even my middle school experience i'm #gonna let that happen to me NOW AT 22 YEARS OF AGE? #but last year it was like fine actually it's crazy how one class two hours made me rethink it all #but it's also awkward because like am i just gonna go sit all by myself because i don't wanna hang out with them. especially because we #still have a group thing we're gonna have to do until the end of the year that we started last year and it's not like i'd wanna switch #groups because they're a good group to work with. like they actually do the work. and i guess we only have two classes where it's. tag limi

[milo-is-rambling]

Who was gonna tell me that reading is fun sometimes

#I will bring shame to my eight year old self NO MORE!!!! I LIKE READING AGAIN!! YIPPEE!!! #I think I seriously enjoy reading about the brain and body and trauma like it’s so strange to spend two hours laying in bed with a book but #it’s so nice #I really enjoyed science growing up even into high school I just didn’t have the patience or motivation to finish essays #and my freshman year science teacher got fired halfway thru the year after they found out she didn’t have a teaching license and then my #class got split up into an advanced science teachers class who was way ahead of everything we had learned and then I hated the class and #science in general then in sophomore year I had another shitty teacher who didn’t care about teaching and I literally would find recourses #and send them to the teacher to put on the projector and then I would talk thru the resource that’s fucking real I literally had class #periods where I TAUGHT my sophomore year science class. GAHHHH I still get so bad at that fucking teacher I don’t even remember her name but #she pissed me off so bad cause she paired me with the two guys who always made fun of me just bc I was smart and they were annoying. anyways #depression and adhd and boredom happened and I almost failed that class but still passed in the end and then in junior year during covid #I was taking a biology class and an anatomy class that was supposed to be seniors (seniors did the advanced class and they offered regular #class to select juniors) and I ended up being the ONLY junior who wasn’t doing the advanced course. like. everyone else got assignments and #I had to ask hey what’s the easy version of that assignment cause I’m technically in the easy class even tho we’re in the same class period #and then Covid and I stopped caring at all about anhthing and then dropped out of school and moved down the entire coast so yknow. #I never stood a chance at being good at science but I’m realizing I might actually be passionate about it cause I have been since I was #little I just kind of ignored it and forgot but like. for one birthday I got a telescope and for one Christmas I got a microscope. like it’s #well known to everyone but me that I like science apparently oh my god what’s wrong with my brain !!!! anyways. #I like science now it’s weird to feel passionate about learning I haven’t done that in a long time #oh my god when I took my GED test my highest score was in SCIENCE AND NOT ENGLISH #THIS IS ALL SO OBVIOUS I LOVE SCIENCE WHY AM I NOT DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE RELATED TO SCIENCE

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

@scribesynnox​ 

The thing about dying and reincarnating is that Kubo died when he was 16, still technically a kid, and woke up as an infant. This included the brain chemistry and attention span of an infant. So technically speaking, even though he had 16 years worth of memories, he was physically incapable of a certain level of maturity. Sure, he understood things better, and was certainly smarter than the average kid, but his years in his new life don’t add years of maturity to his already 16 years worth of memories. 

Like, spending a year as a baby doesn’t mean he’s 17 now. He learned nothing from his infant years to mature any further than his previous life.

The closest relationship Kubo had with his brothers in his early years was kind of one-sided. He sought to protect them from their ableist parents by taking the brunt of their emotional abuse. He didn’t actually learn how to do the whole “big brother” thing until he was in Kanto and going on a journey with Kim and Yasmine. And Kim is ridiculously hyper-competent when it comes to survival and taking care of yourself, so he mostly used the Big Sibling role on Yasmine.

By the time Ingo and Emmet find Kubo, they’re 21 years old. So Kubo doesn’t actually feel like he’s much mentally older than they are, because it’s his first time actually experiencing adulthood. 

Of course, he’s been lying about his age since he was 9, so it’d be funny if he tried to claim Big Brother status because he’s LEGALLY 22. His trainer card says so!

#Kubo Conway #Submas #Submas Triplets #Subway Boss Emmet #Subway Boss Ingo #Emmet #Ingo #Pokemon #Pokémon #Not sure if I explained this right #Essentially since Kubo hasn't experienced being older than 16 #He doesn't actually mentally age much in his new life until he's finally reached an older age #Because up until that point he was still technically a child #both in the social sense and the physiological sense #Academically he was a fucking beast though #He was already incredibly intelligent in his first life to begin with #He graduated high school two years early in his first life #In his second life he's even more academically intelligent by outside standards #Because uh... he's a toddler who can do calculus. #It wasn't hard for him to score a job with Professor Oak #The guy looked out for Kubo on his journey and noticed pretty quickly how intelligent he was for his age