#THEN i dig the same dirt again after a couple days with a big fork and loosen it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sassycashley · 6 years

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“Look, all I’m saying is that maybe you should come back for your phone when you notice you’ve left it at home,” Dean sighs, takes a bite of bacon right off the pan that sits cold on the stove.

“I don’t know what the big deal is, Dean. What could happen?” Castiel responds, a few feet behind him.

Dean whips his head around to look at this new, apparently naive, human, “What do you mean ‘ what could happen?’ Cas-” he stops mid sentence when he sees Castiel smiling at him, trying not to laugh. “You fucker,” Dean glares and turns back to the stove, to reheat the eggs.

Castiel walks up behind Dean and puts a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, I’m okay. I’m safe.”

“Yeah, okay. Just, next time don’t leave your phone here. I almost ruined breakfast when I realized you’d been gone all night without it,” Dean turns the eggs over, “Can you hand me the salt?”

When Castiel hands him the salt their hands brush. But Castiel doesn’t let go; the two of them holding on like it’s the best goddamn salt in the world. Goosebumps run up Dean’s arm as he looks at his friend, who says, “I’m sorry I almost ruined breakfast. What can I do to make up for it?” It takes a moment for Dean to register his words - about as long as it takes for his eyes to move up from the perfect pink lips in front of him to those stupid blue eyes.

Dean swallows and Castiel lets go of the salt, “Uh, you could do the dishes I guess.” Dean grabs a plate and starts filling it up.

When he hands the plate to Castiel he gets a smile in return, “Of course, Dean.” Dean follows him to the table with his own plate, the two of them sit side by side, their legs bumping under the table.

After a few bites, Dean moves his eggs around with his fork, “So, uh, where did you go last night?”

Castiel chews down the bite of toast he’s just taken followed by a swig of orange juice, “Just out.”

Out where? Dean asks in his head, careful not to let his frustration show. “Did you get lucky?” The words taste vile in his mouth, and he wishes he could take them back.

Eyebrows knit together and his head tilted, Castiel asks, “Lucky?”

“Yeah, did you get laid?” Dean shrugs and takes another bite of his eggs.

“Oh,” Castiel’s lips turn up in a smile as he takes a bite of bacon, chewing slowly. Dean watches him, his eyes begging for an answer. When Castiel finally swallows he says, “No, I did not get laid. Although that would have been nice,” he looks at Dean, smirks, and gets up to clear the table. Dean swallows down the whimper that threatens to escape.

“Have you talked to Sam?” Castiel asks a few minutes later, his hands deep in soapy water in the kitchen sink.

“Yeah, yesterday. He and Eileen killed a werewolf a few days ago.”

“Good for them.”

“Well the werewolf left two small children behind. Eileen wants to adopt them and settle down.”

“Oh, wow. What does Sam think?”

“I don’t think he could be happier, to be honest.”

“Do you ever think of settling down?” Castiel turns around to look at a Dean as he towel dries a bowl in his hands.

“Do you?” Dean questions him.

“I’m just saying, you haven’t hunted in weeks and you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah, well Jody and all them keep stealing the best hunts,” Dean taps his fingers against the table.

Castiel puts away the rest of the dishes and when he passes Dean on the way to his room he places his hand on the hunter’s forearm, his thumb making gentle circles across his skin. Dean’s breath hitches as he looks up at Cas, who’s eyes are soft as he speaks, “It’s okay to want that, Dean. To want a quiet life without violence or heartbreak. It’s okay to have it, too.” Before Dean can respond, Castiel has slipped away.

Pacing around his room, Dean holds his phone up to his ear, “I don’t know where he’s going all the time, Sam. He shows up sweaty, his hair a mess - last week I found grass stains on his shirt when I was doing laundry!”

“Sounds like he found someone who likes to fuck outside,” Sam says, his voice bored.

“I already asked him if he’s getting laid and he said no,” Dean stops pacing when he hears Castiel’s footsteps pass by his door.

“You asked him that once. Maybe they just didn’t do anything the first time.”

Dean opens his door to see Castiel walking down the hall with a backpack on.

“I think he’s leaving again, Sam - and he has a freaking backpack!”

“Oh, boy, now it’s interesting,” Dean can practically hear Sam’s eyes roll.

“I’m going to find out where he’s going,” slipping his shoes on, Dean heads out into the hallway.

“What are you going to do, follow him?”

“No,” Dean rounds the corner to see the door to the garage closing, “Bye, Sammy,” hanging up, he lunges for the door.

Castiel is already putting his truck in reverse when Dean throws the passenger door open and climbs inside.

“What are you doing, Dean?” Castiel’s eyebrows scrunch together.

“I thought you might want some company today. Maybe I could help with whatever you’re doing.”

Dean looks at Castiel, a challenge in his eye, ready to argue why he has to come. To Dean’s surprise, Castiel only responds with, “Okay,” and continues to back out of the garage.

The sun beats down on the truck as they drive down the road, the windows open as folk music plays out of the speakers. Dean holds back the desire to sing along, mumbling something about assaulting his ears to keep appearances up. Castiel eventually parks the truck in front of an abandoned house fifteen miles down the road. Dean looks from the house to Castiel, who smiles and gets out of the truck, taking his backpack with him. “Can you grab those jugs of water in the back?”

Dean does as he’s asked and follows Castiel, who walks around the house to the backyard. The ex angel stops in front of a small garden and sits down, opening his backpack. He pulls out a pair of gloves and a small shovel, followed by a yellow packet that probably holds seeds.

“So your secret was that you have a garden behind an abandoned house?” Deans asks as he puts down the jugs of water next to Castiel.

Castiel works the soil, digging a small hole, “It wasn’t a secret,” he responds, ripping open the packet and pouring the seeds into the hole.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you would laugh at me,” he scoops the soil back into the hole, patting it down.

Dean watches his friend, bewildered, “Why would I laugh at you?”

“I just figured you would find it girly - not masculine enough,” Cas avoids looking at Dean, his hands continuing to pat down the soil.

“Hey,” Dean kneels next to Castiel, putting his hand on his back to get his attention, “I might make jokes about stuff but if you like something I would never make fun of you for it. You should enjoy things - especially now that you’re human.”

“Okay,” Castiel looks at Dean for brief moment before he slides his eyes back to the garden and bites his lip.

“Wait, did you fall asleep out here? That night you didn’t come home?”

“Yeah. I was enjoying the last moments of sunlight and kind of just fell asleep. I thought it would kill my back in the morning but it was surprisingly refreshing.”

Dean stays quiet for a few minutes while Castiel works his garden, digging holes and dropping seeds in. He watches the way the breeze moves through Cas’s hair, how Castiel smiles each time he adds a new plant. When he stands up, Castiel starts to stand also, thinking Dean probably wants to go home. “Cas, it’s okay, I’ll be right back. Can I borrow your truck?” Castiel nods and hands him his keys.

Standing in the camping aisle, Dean tries to decide between a couple of sleeping bags or a couple of thick blankets. When he makes up his mind, he takes the blankets off the shelf and sets them in the cart that already holds a sleeping pad and a large bag of trail mix.

At the bunker he grabs his and Cas’s pillow, a couple of flashlights, and makes two sandwiches complete with a side macaroni salad he’d made the day before. He sings along to folk songs on his way back to the abandoned house, content with the sun on his face and his friend just around the corner. He sets up the back of the truck before heading to the backyard.

Castiel is lying down in the shade under a tree next to the garden when Dean approaches. He smiles at Dean and wipes the dirt off of his hands before he takes the food handed to him. “Thank you,” he mumbles between bites of a turkey sandwich. After he’s swallowed the last of his food, Castiel places his hands in his lap and looks at Dean. “That was great, but I can’t imagine it took you over an hour to make it.”

“Well, no, it didn’t,” Dean stands up and holds his hand out to Castiel, “Follow me.” Castiel takes his hand and stands up. Holding on a little bit longer, Dean strokes his thumb across the back of Castiel’s hand. As he drops their hands, Dean notices Castiel’s cheeks turn pink and his heart skips a beat. He leads Castiel to the truck and waits for a response but Cas doesn’t say anything as he looks from the bed of his truck back to Dean.

“I thought we could spend tonight here, looking at the stars,” Dean explains as Castiel runs his hands over the blankets, “In the meantime I thought I could teach you a few card games, until it gets dark,” Dean pulls out a pack of cards from his pocket and puts them on top of the sleeping pad.

“Why?” Castiel’s hand falls from the blankets and he looks at Dean, “Why are you doing this?”

“Why? I don’t know. I guess I want to spend time with you,” Dean looks at his feet, feels his face turn red, “I miss you.”

“We live in the same house.”

“Yeah but you’re gone a lot. You were here instead,” he shuffles his feet, “If you don’t want to do this, it’s fine. I’ll just get a cab home.”

“No, Dean, that’s not-” Castiel sighs and drops his head, “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know you wanted to spend time with me. You’re always in your room or on the phone helping a hunter.”

“Well I do, so if you want to learn I’d really like to play some Go Fish right about now.”

Castiel smiles and climbs into the bed of the truck, “Okay, teach me.”

When the sun starts to go down, Dean gathers up the cards and sets them aside. He looks over at Castiel, who is shivering from the breeze. “Maybe we should get under the covers,” Dean says, and Castiel nods, lifting up the blanket so the two of them can slip under it. They stay sitting up, shoulder to shoulder and watch the sun set. Dean moves his arm to go over Castiel’s shoulders, watches as Cas smiles and tries to hide his blush by turning his head. With his free hand, he cups Castiel’s face and turns it back towards him, looks into Cas’s deep blue eyes before brushing their lips together, gentle. Castiel moans and deepens the kiss, opening his mouth when Dean rubs his tongue along the bottom of Castiel’s lower lip.

After awhile, Castiel breaks the kiss, breathing hard. “I didn’t think you wanted me like that,” he admits.

“I always want you, in every way possible,” Dean kisses him soft before laying down and pulling Castiel down with him. He wraps his arms around Cas and kisses the top of his head. “I miss you every time you leave. I used to try and forget you by sleeping with someone else but I would wake up feeling wrecked. You’ve ruined me,” Dean rubs Castiel’s back, watches his breathing. A few minutes later he whispers, “I want a quiet life with you Cas, maybe buy a house, get a cat,” but when he looks down Castiel is fast asleep in his arms.

#destiel #destiel fluff #deancas #dean x castiel #destiel fanfiction #sometimes i write things

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gunhandsam · 6 years

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You Always Remember Your First

"A while ago, Emma and I were talking as we sat about her place, perhaps curled up in bed and just sharing in the simple joy of finding a human being that one could tolerate being around. Well, our place. I still haven't fully made that connection of... sharing a home with another person. I recognize the shack as home, yes, but I don't fully see it as our home. And... 'the shack', it sounds so dismissive, no? I ought to come up with a better name for it, it sounds like I'm speaking ill all the while not being willing to trade it for a suite at the Ultra-Luxe. Emma's home is where I discovered there could be more to life than murder, wandering, alcohol abuse, more murdering, buying company for the evening, or what passed as evening at the time anyway, followed by more wandering."

"Anyway, as we sat or lay there, whichever it was, she asked me if I had plans on moving my stuff in, setting up ourselves up for a more permanent living situation. I of course was nervous, as I've never even considered it, but now that it seemed that not only was I staying in the Mojave for a while, but she hadn't grown tired of me either... well, giving it some thought can't do any harm, right? I've got the stuff down in the hole in the hills, and some in a room in Novac. Even got a little bit of kit up in Jacobstown stashed away in one of the rooms well away from the locals. I don't like disturbing them when I pass through, but they were nice enough to let me have a place to rest in exchange for running off some trouble makers a while ago. So yeah, you could say I'm spread out a bit."

"I plan to consolidate things, sell off what I don't need, even give to those that need more than I. For example I've got plans for all the armor I've carted into Novac; gonna strip it down to scrap metal and lug it on over to a particularly sweet repair girl. Last I saw her, she seemed like she could stand to have some kindness in her life. Anyway, the whole "Why don't you move your things in, babe?" thing. I've been more or less living out of my bag, using whatever it is I've packed and crammed in there, but for all my shuffling things back and forth, there's one thing I've never taken out of there, that one special thing I always have on me wherever I am."

He produced a slender object, wrapped in a delicate cloth worn thin from years of being jostled around during his travels. Sam placed it on the table with a quiet reverence, and gently unraveled the cloth as if he was terrified the whole thing might turn to dust in his hands.

"You know that saying; you always remember your first? First kiss, first love, first awkward teenage grope, first time getting laid, first near death experience, that kinda thing? Yeah." He smiled down at the object on the table, a simple fork, missing one of its tines. It was well worn, most of the shine had given way to a smooth patina, parts of it pockmarked with rust.

"I remember the first time I killed someone quiet vividly. Which is impressive, considering the kind of life I lead. People come and go, usually go by way of gunshot or grenade, or fade from memory as nights of heavier drinking wash away those memories. But it's even more impressive, I think, that I was nine years old at the time, and can still see it clear as day. It was summer, during those 'dog days', when you just want to curl up and wait it out. But hanging around a house made mostly of metal down by a river in a sticky Virginia summer didn't have much appeal, so I'd go out looking for somewhere cool and safe to nap or read. There was a little hollow, carved into a hill by the river, I'd curl up in there and watch the water go by. Wasn't far from home, just in case a mirelurk or something showed up and I had to run home for somebody to kill the thing.

He shuddered, stifling a nervous grin.

"I hate mirelurks. Anyway, that day I heard someone rooting around in one of the piles we kept all the scrap stuff. Not in that kind of casual but urgent, "Where'd I put the damn Nuka bottles?" way, but this was more careless rooting around in the garbage. I shimmied out of the hole and poked my head around, just in time to see one of the kids in town launch himself out of the pile and start booking it for town like his life depended on it. The dude digging in the garbage looked pretty mad, then saw me peeking out at him, and jabbed a finger right at me.

"There's one! Nab him!"

"Couple other dudes showed up, coming around one of the vacants too dangerous to renovate and were making a beeline right for me. I, being a child, chose to burrow as deep into the hole as I could get and expect one of the adults in town to step in and sort this out. Nobody but these really dirty men showed up, and they kept going on about some place called Paradise Falls. I didn't know where or what that was, but if these guys were from there, I knew I didn't want to go. The hole was pretty tiny, just big enough for me and a small day pack, but one of the guys managed to shove his upper half inside and was grabbing at me. I had brought lunch with me that day, so all I was armed with was a fork and a pretty dull spoon. Fork it was, then. And in his throat it went. I was trying for his eye, but I was terrified and the guy was wriggling around a lot trying to grab me, adrenaline dumps do funny things to your coordination. The fork kinda slid over the guy's skin at first, but all the thrashing around he was doing worked to my advantage, and he ended up skewering himself. He didn't die right away, of course, and I'm wrenching on the thing as much as I can to pull it out of him cause I'm just a kid and I'm scared senseless and I just want him to leave me alone. So for all the flailing he's doing and all the wiggling and pulling on my part, I end up tearing his throat open. Now the blood is really flowing, and he's making this weird raspy whistle noise as his other hand shot past his side and into the hole, and it's clutching a pistol. I figured that yeah, this is it. I'm gonna die here cause this man is going to shoot me, so I just wrench the hell out of the fork, and the teeth must've caught him just right or something, cause I felt something pop inside and there's this really weird looking white tube starting to slide out of the hole in his neck."

"He dropped the gun and slapped at his neck with both hands while blood is just gushing all over the place, and I've got my feet on his shoulders, trying to push this gibbering bastard back out of the hole and just away from me, but I keep slipping in his blood and the dirt and I can't really get the leverage I need. Eventually someone outside started tugging on his legs and pulled him out, and they're talking about that Paradise place. And... I don't know, just something, a gut feeling, voice in my head, whatever you wanna call it, told me to pick up that pistol and pop the first thing that shows up. The first thing being a similar man, all dirty and foul and angry eyed, dressed like the dude I just skewered and lips peeling back to reveal a mouth of broken yellowed and blackened teeth, and it all just came together for me. All those lessons my mom had given me about shooting; both hands on the gun, firm grip, thumbs stacked on each other and pointing forward, pad of the index finger on the trigger, target is fuzzy but the front sight is clear as can be, center mass, keep breathing, and squeeze.

It's not pleasant, letting off a shot in a confined space, but I still hit the guy where I wanted. It was one of those Chinese pistols, nine mil. Weird how you remember those little details. A nine at close range tends to zip right through whatever it hits, but I tagged something important, cause that guy dropped to the dirt and went awful pale in a hurry. His chest didn't get red, either, something black started seeping out of him. His buddy started shouting and swearing, and just lined himself right up as the guy I had shot did, so he got it just the same."

"Everything was real quiet after that. My ears were ringing from both the blast of the pistol and the adrenaline swirling in my veins, but nobody else came around for what seemed like hours, even though it was like ten minutes, tops. That kid that ran home came back with some of the adults, and my mom was with 'em, clutching her sledgehammer and by the looks of things, really wanting to shatter some bones. She was first in finding me as I crawled out of the hole and over the dead men, my front all slicked with blood and skin devoid of color. I think she thought I was hurt, cause that's when she got really wound up and was waving one of the two town doctors over. I said, 'No no, I'm fine mom! They didn't hurt me!', so she starts going over me making sure I don't have any extra holes or that I'm missing something important, but aside from few scrapes on my legs, I was right as could be. Shaken up, of course, but physically fine. By then more folks had shown up, about six, maybe seven other people, and they're all kinda staring at me, hands over their mouths. My mom asked me what I did, and I simply told her that I did what she told me to do. She gave me this kinda funny look, like she wasn't sure if she should be proud or terrified, so it came out as both, and we went on home to get me cleaned up.

"Later that day, I told her I left my bag out there and it had some of my books in it, and I wanted to go get it. She knew how much reading meant to me, so she agreed, but insisted she come with me, and even rounded up a couple of the better shots in town, just in case there was trouble. They all stood outside the hole, and my mom tossed in a sheet so I wouldn't get dirty again, and told me to make it quick. I scurried on inside and got my stuff, and I was started to back out when I saw the fork jammed in the dirt. I don't know why I took it, I just did. Like something inside me was saying "Hey. That is important. Keep it.", so I did. Slipped it in my bag, then washed all the dirt and crud from it before I went to sleep. I always kept it close, I suppose I felt like it was my special thing to keep the bad people away. Mom had her sledgehammer and her dad's hunting rifle, some of the folks in town had their own special weapons too, it just seemed normal to me."

Sam smiled at the fork and slowly ran a finger up and down the tines before wrapping it back up, taking his time as he neatly folded and pulled the cloth in place, and placed his palms on top of it.

"You always remember your first."

#Sam mom

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robokitty77 · 7 years

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Murder

A'IGHT IT'S TIME TO LEARN U A THING IN ONLY FIVE YES FIVE EASY STEPS YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER LET'S BEGIN SHALL WE FRIENDO???

Step one: Choosing the victim! You don't really want to murder your next door neighbor because police investigate and question the neighbors and relatives also friends of the victim.

Buuut, also don't murder a person three states over, because then the police can say "Y/N took a road trip on the day before the murder- and that trip was to an area near the crime!" Boom, suspects list+ prison.

Basically, don't murder your neighbor, but also don't murder someone that you need a road trip to get to.

Make sure it's not

•a friend

•a family

•a datemate

because those are the people that people usually murder.

Step two: Precautions and Preparations Organized murders are always better.

Buuut always have a plan b

And c

Hopefully d and e.

Buy EVERYTHING at least a month in advance With cash. Things bought in card are tracked. And!!! Don't buy everything at once. You don't wanna be the guy who is at the checkout counter with rope, pliers, garbage bags, and kitchen knives. Just... Don't.

Please.

Don't forget the cleaning supplies! Hydrogen peroxide gets bloodstains out!

Step three: Method of killing So you already have

•a victim

•a plan

•supplies

Remember that you also don't need to kill them at home! Homes have security systems quite a lot of the time.

But!!! Don't make it a too public place! That's gonna be important in step four.

Here's some methods.

Strangulation: Use a thick pillow that belongs to the person, not you... Unless you burn it afterwards. That's ok. Sometimes, your victim will fake a death. If they suddenly go limp, pinch them really hard and suddenly. If they flinch or tense up at all, keep applying pressure

Stabbing: Not recommended, as it's a messy death that lets them scream unless you gag them. Again, hydrogen peroxide. Use an icicle! It melts afterwards, so there's no murder weapon!

Injection: Poisoning is sooo last week. Simply get a hypodermic needle and fill the syringe with air. It mimics a heart attack but can't be stopped by asprin, so you can even skip step four if you want. Actually, if you wanna poison, make sure you use a strong poison like ricin. You can coat a needle with it and subtly stab it into someone's thigh or buttcheek. They'll never suspect that that person who bumped into them in the crowd was their killer.

Heck, you could just hang them and frame it as suicide.

Step four: Body Disposal

Burying: Ok, ok, I admit that this one is a bit overused. But oh well, this is my fave one, so you get a tutorial.

Satellites look for holes or patches of turned dirt that are about six feet long because, well, it's suspicious!

Drain and portion the body.

Draining: put the body's head against the side of the tub so that is is raised. Get a plastic chair, like a lawn chair even, and put the body's feet and shins on it.

Basically, you only want the lower back and butt to touch the floor of the tub. Make a couple slits in the butt and lower back, make sure they go deep. Two things to remember here.

•Blood. Is. Not. Nuclear. Waste. Chill. Please.

•dont feel bad friendo its a body it can't feel any pain. K???

Ok so then proceed to mix the collected fluids with slaked lime but just a bit! and oxygen producing bleach. Then let it drain some more until you're sure that there's no more fluids in it, then sprinkle slaked lime and pour in the bleach.

Portioning is literally cutting it in bits. Nothing much to say except cut with a sharp knife at the joints.

Ok, so back to burial. There are a couple choices for location. You can bury it in the hole where a casket will be buried soon. Just dig maybe three feet deeper and cover the body with a nice thick layer of sand. When the casket is buried, so will your body. Extremely low chance that the body will be found. You could just bury it in a wooded or simply non inhabitated place by burying it with the rest of that slaked lime vertically 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog.

If body sniffing hounds dig up the dog (or other animal) the police will assume that it's a false positive and go away, phew. If you're like me and Very Extra™, you could even get a nice looking rock and carve into it something sickeningly sappy like "Rip Fluffy/Mr. Whiskerton/Rufus/(generic cat or dog name here). We love you!" Plus, it's a cute little touch to take it that one step further.

But you could always mix it with some fish parts and go fishing. Chum the water a bit.

Only if fishing's your thing tho. Idk you might catch a marlin or somethin.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE!!! THERE ARE SOME BODY PARTS THAT NEED TO BE DESTROYED!!!

Body part.

Good method of destroying

Why destroying is needed

Bellybutton.

Knife, sharp shovel, fire

Mix of debris and bacteria is unique

Ears

Knife, fire

Pattern of rings and swirls is like a fingerprint

Eyes

Toothpick (fun fact: eyes are mostly liquid on the inside, just pop it like a 🎈.) Fire, knife, fork

Retinal scans, my dear. Also digital face reconstruction.

Teeth

Hammer, pliers

You want to pulverize teeth and turn them into a powder that you scatter. Dental records.

Fingertips

Knife, fire

Fingerprints and debris.

Hair

Fire, scissors (both is good)

The same reason you don't want any of your hair at the crime scene, my dear.

Also!!! If you have the time and the tools, it will help if you cut up the pelvis into many many pieces and bury it separately. Pelvis can ID gender.

Basically, you want this body unrecognizable.

By anyone.

I'm serious.

Dead serious.

Sorry. I had to make that pun.

Step five: Last regards and rules of thumb

Don't get cocky. That's how serial killers get caught.

Wear clothes and shoes that are too big, and stuff the shoes so it isn't too obvious that they are a different size.

It also helps to sand down the soles so that they leave no unique prints.

Burn all clothes and shoes after the murder.

Wear a hoodie or other hat so you don't leave hair at the scene and so the color can't be id'd.

Use a spray on wash out dye in a natural color just in case.

Avoid the news and papers for at least three weeks after your crime, the police use those as tools to psyche you out and make you want to turn yourself in.

And remember... Until they find a body, it's just another missing person.

TL;DR don't kill friend

Clean up

Dry up and bury the body

Stay hidden

😃

#murder tips #murder #ultimate guide to murder #tips #lifehacks

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dr-disease · 6 years

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XD look what I found a how to guide (seriously don’t kill anyone)

Step one: Choosing the victim! You don’t really want to murder your next door neighbor because police investigate and question the neighbors and relatives also friends of the victim. Buuut, also don’t murder a person three states over, because then the police can say “Y/N took a road trip on the day before the murder- and that trip was to an area near the crime!” Boom, suspects list+ prison. Basically, don’t murder your neighbor, but also don’t murder someone that you need a road trip to get to. Make sure it’s not •a friend •a family •a datemate because those are the people that people usually murder. Step two: Precautions and Preparations Organized murders are always better. Buuut always have a plan b And c Hopefully d and e. Buy EVERYTHING at least a month in advance With cash. Things bought in card are tracked. And!!! Don’t buy everything at once. You don’t wanna be the guy who is at the checkout counter with rope, pliers, garbage bags, and kitchen knives. Just… Don’t. Please. Don’t forget the cleaning supplies! Hydrogen peroxide gets bloodstains out! Step three: Method of killing So you already have •a victim •a plan •supplies Remember that you also don’t need to kill them at home! Homes have security systems quite a lot of the time. But!!! Don’t make it a too public place! That’s gonna be important in step four. Here’s some methods. Strangulation: Use a thick pillow that belongs to the person, not you… Unless you burn it afterwards. That’s ok. Sometimes, your victim will fake a death. If they suddenly go limp, pinch them really hard and suddenly. If they flinch or tense up at all, keep applying pressure Stabbing: Not recommended, as its a messy death that lets them scream unless you gag them. Again, hydrogen peroxide. Use an icicle! It melts afterwards, so there’s no murder weapon! Injection: Poisoning is sooo last week. Simply get a hypodermic needle and fill the syringe with air. It mimics a heart attack but can’t be stopped by asprin, so you can even skip step four if you want. Actually, if you wanna poison, make sure you use a strong poison like ricin. You can coat a needle with it and subtly stab it into someone’s thigh or buttcheek. They’ll never suspect that that person who bumped into them in the crowd was their killer. Heck, you could just hang them and frame it as suicide. Step four: Body Disposal Burying: Ok, ok, I admit that this one is a bit overused. But oh well, this is my fave one, so you get a tutorial. Satellites look for holes or patches of turned dirt that are about six feet long because, well, its suspicious! Drain and portion the body. Draining: put the body’s head against the side of the tub so that is is raised. Get a plastic chair, like a lawn chair even, and out the body’s feet and shins on it. Basically, you only want the lower back and butt to touch the floor of the tub. Make a couple slits in the butt and lower back, make sure they go deep. Two things to remember here. •Blood. Is. Not. Nuclear. Waste. Chill. Please. •dont feel bad friendo its a body it can’t feel any pain. K??? Ok so then proceed to mix the collected fluids with slaked lime but just a bit! and oxygen producing bleach. Then let it drain some more until you’re sure that there’s no more fluids in it, then sprinkle slaked lime and pour in the bleach. Portioning is literally cutting it in bits. Nothing much to say except cut with a sharp knife at the joints. Ok, so back to burial. There are a couple choices for location. You can bury it in the hole where a casket will be buried soon. Just dig maybe three feet deeper and cover the body with a nice thick layer of sand. When the casket is buried, so will your body. Extremely low chance that the body will be found. You could just bury it in a wooded or simply non inhabitated place by burying it with the rest of that slaked lime vertically 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog. If body sniffing hounds dig up the dog (or other animal) the police will assume that it’s a false positive and go away, phew. But you could always mix it with some fish parts and go fishing. Chum the water a bit. Only if fishing’s your thing tho. Idk you might catch a marlin or somethin. AN IMPORTANT NOTE!!! THERE ARE SOME BODY PARTS THAT NEED TO BE DESTROYED!!! Body part. Good method of destroying Why destroying is needed Bellybutton. Knife, sharp shovel, fire Mix of debris and bacteria is unique Ears Knife, fire Pattern of rings and swirls is like a fingerprint Eyes Toothpick (fun fact: eyes are mostly liquid on the inside, just pop it like a .) Fire, knife, fork Retinal scans, my dear. Also digital face reconstruction. Teeth Hammer, pliers You want to pulverize teeth and turn them into a powder that you scatter. Dental records. Fingertips Knife, fire Fingerprints and debris. Hair Fire, scissors (both is good) The same reason you don’t want any of your hair at the crime scene, my dear. Also!!! If you have the time and the tools, it will help if you cut up the pelvis into many many pieces and bury it separately. Pelvis can I’d gender. Basically, you want this body unrecognizable. By anyone. I’m serious. Dead serious. Sorry. I had to make that pun. Step five: Last regards and rules of thumb Don’t get cocky. That’s how serial killers get caught. Wear clothes and shoes that are too big, and stuff the shoes so it isn’t too obvious that they are a different size. It also helps to sand down the soles so that they leave no unique prints. Burn all clothes and shoes after the murder. Wear a hoodie or other hat so you don’t leave hair at the scene and so the color can’t be id’d. Use a spray on wash out dye in a natural color just in case. Avoid the news and papers for at least three weeks after your crime, the police use those as tools to psyche you out and make you want to turn yourself in. And remember… Until they find a body, it’s just another dead person.

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gorocult · 7 years

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Warmth

Hideweek Day 4: Good/Pleasing Author: Ayainu Summary: Hide was warm, and taught Kaneki how it felt to be as well. Notes: If you like, please leave kudos and comments on my ao3! Warnings: The relationship type is up to the reader.

***

“Today again a little snow falls on sorrow already spoiled today again even the wind blows through sorrow already spoiled,”* The boy recited, his voice quivering like an autumn leaf on a stormy day. Oddly, to Hide’s ears, that feeble voice sounded kind of beautiful, somehow soothing. Hide watched as its owner sat back down and wrapped that ever present scarf tighter around his neck.

“Thank you Kaneki,” Their teacher droned, Hide was sure if he were to draw his eyes away from Kaneki he’d see the mixture of entertainment and pity adults always seemed to get out of messing with helpless kids in their teacher’s eyes.

Kaneki nodded in his seat and the teacher, that apparently had enough of messing with Kaneki for the day, went back to the lesson at hand. Hide didn’t know much, this is his first day in this school, he had enough common sense to understand what’s going on though.

From what Hide could glean out of other students and the way teachers talked, Kaneki was everyone’s favorite weakling. From what he collected he seemed to have a kind of condition that rendered him unable to tolerate the slightest bit of cold. If one were to observe him closely, like Hide was currently doing, it’d be easy to notice how he was constantly trembling. According to other students Kaneki has never been seen without that huge wool scarf wound around his neck, not even in summer. From the instances Hide got to hear him talk, his voice was always quivering and weak.

It was the end of Hide’s first day of school and he was more than a little intrigued. He’d just transferred from the countryside to study high school in the big city. It was his only choice if he wanted to follow his mother’s footsteps and study at Kami University, a university that prestigious won’t accept any country bumpkins

The subway systems were really confusing, but he could probably get the hang of them in a couple of days. “I’m home,” Hide called as he discarded his outdoors shoes for a pair of slippers.

“Welcome home,” called Marude from the kitchen.

“Oh, you know how to cook Marucchi?” Hide placed his bag on the counter and stared across the kitchen at the adult struggling at the oven.

“I don’t, and don’t call me that you brat,” Marude mumbled. Hide could smell the sharp scent of burnt rice and a weird nauseating mixture of spices.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hide brushed off, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “What are you doing here then.”

“I don’t know, your father entrusted you to me and I thought I could try to cook you something, I can’t let you starve here,” Marude sighed. “Are you by any chance interested in the worst curry you’ll ever put in you mouth?”

“I heard sometimes when food reaches a certain level of nastiness it actually starts to taste good,” Hide supplied.

“You never hold anything back do you?” Marude clicked his tongue.

“I am my mother’s son,” Hide grinned.

“You really are, now set the table you little shit,” Marude couldn’t suppress the small smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

“‘Kay Marucchi,” Hide drawled, already reaching for the cupboard with the plates.

Marude just sighed.

“So how was your first day of school?” Murude said as he filled the plates Hide handed him with slightly – extremely– overcooked rice and a hellish mixture Marude called curry.

“Wow you suck at acting like a parent,” Hide burst out in laughter, Marude flushed. “Thanks though, it went really well. All the kids are really friendly and the teachers are nice. To me that is,” Hide trailed off.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Marude glanced at him quizzically across the table, his spoon was already digging into his plate though.

“Well..” Hide started as he picked at the food on his plate. “There is this kid…”

“This kid?”

“He’s in my class, he’s kind of odd, but everyone in school goes too far making him feel like a freak, even the teachers,” Hide stabbed at a piece of chicken with his fork and took it into his mouth.

“Sounds tough, but that’s high school for you,” Marude shrugged and Hide was quick to shake his head.

“It’s not your textbook case of social outcast, he definitely has something wrong, not that it warrants any of the mistreatment directed at him.” Hide said deliberately.

“You keep saying weird but you never explained exactly how, care to elaborate?” Marude raised one eyebrow.

“Ah well, it’s hard to explain, but from what I got so far he has really low cold tolerance, when I say really low, I mean really low,” Hide tried to explain.

“Really low?”

“Like he wears a heavy wool scarf in the middle of summer kind of low.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah”

“Have you tried talking to him?” Marude supplied through a mouthful of curry.

“I didn’t, other students always avoid him when they’re not being douchebags, I didn’t want to scare him away,” Hide said over the rim of his glass of water.

“Well if you feel that bad for him maybe you should try befriending him?” Marude stood, his now empty plate in his hand.

“It’s not that I feel bad for him, I do think what others are making him go through is beyond wrong and I want it to stop, but it’s not why I’m interested,” Hide bit his lip.

“What is it then?” Marude met his gaze with his own inquisitive one.

“I.. I don’t know,” Hide answered honestly then hurried to change the subject, “I guess it was true after all, that curry didn’t taste half as bad as I thought it would.”

“Shuddap.” Marude either took the bait or decided to drop the subject for the time being, Hide suspected the latter. “I cooked so you get to do the dishes.”

“But Marucchi..!” Hide whined but Marude cut him short.

“No buts, hurry up before it dries and becomes troublesome.”

“You’re the worst,” Hide grumbled.

“Right back at ya punk,” Marude called, already in the hallway.

The next day was the same, relatively uneventful save for the occasional Kaneki mistreatment. Hide tried all day to build enough guts to talk to Kaneki but every time he made a move to go in Kaneki’s direction so much panic filled the other boy’s dull gray orbs that Hide instantly lost his resolve.

It was when he decided to give up and started to head home that it happened. On his way to the station he passed by the riverbank he always liked to admire the beauty of, except this time four figures were blocking the scenery. It looked bad too because he was sure three of them were attacking the fourth smaller one. Taking a closer look Hide recognized the uniform as his school’s, the next thing he noticed was the violent tremors of the fourth figure and the heavy scarf that was being yanked off of it. Hide broke out in a sprint.

Hide asked no questions and went straight for the closest guy he encountered and swung. He quickly whipped around to meet the other one’s stomach with the heel of his shoes, and as the third approached from behind he elbowed him hard enough that he lost his breath for a few seconds. Hide stepped back to block Kaneki from their view.

“What the hell-”

“You’re all an awful bunch, targeting a kid that obviously can’t even fight back, three of you at once too. If it were anyone but me they wouldn’t stand a chance, what a bunch of cowards,” Hide glared so hard he thought his eyes were feeling kind of hot.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m my mom’s kid,” Hide said simply. “Now would you scram or do I need to throw you out myself?”

“You’ll pay for this transfer student!”

“Sure, sure,” Hide brushed them off and turned his back on them before they even fully stood.

Kaneki was convulsing harder than he’d ever seen him in the short time he’s been around him, he was on the dirt reaching pitifully for his discarded scarf. Hide’s heart twisted and he was quick to pick it up and hand it to Kaneki who in turn fastened it back around his neck securely. Kaneki’s lips had always been covered by that absurdly huge muffler but from the few seconds Hide could see them they were deep blue.

“Thank you…” Kaneki mumbled quietly, even with his voice that low Hide could tell it was shakier than ever.

“Ah, no problem! Jerks like these should be put in place. I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika, but please just call me Hide!” He grinned at Kaneki widely.

“Kaneki Ken, nice to meet you.” Hide was starting to worry about how much Kaneki’s voice shook.

“You probably already know, but I’m a transfer student here from the countryside and know next to no one here. What I’m trying to get at here is, wanna be friends?” Hide was an absolute wreck, but he still extended a hand towards Kaneki.

“Friends?” Kaneki stared long and hard at the hand extended towards him, it was when Hide made to retract it that he finally extended his own.

“Yeah!” Hide’s lips were pulled over his teeth as his smile widened.

“Ok…ay..” Kaneki trailed off, his eyes wide and confused as he stared at their connected hands.

“Are you okay Kaneki?” Hide cocked his head to the side, puzzled.

“Warm..” Kaneki’s eyes welled up with tears and Hide was starting to freak out.

“Kaneki what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry!” Hide was talking faster than he ever knew he could. When he tried to retract his hand in his haze of panic Kaneki tightened his grip around it.

“N-No.. Hide I.. warm.. I can feel it, seeping into my skin… Hide I can-” Kaneki was full on sobbing at that point and Hide opened his arms to offer a hug.

Kaneki scrambled into Hide’s arms and it left Hide dazed, how fast everything was going. Hide let Kaneki get all his waterworks out on his poor shirt. Kaneki was extremely cold in his arms, the kind of cold his mother described the skin of a corpse with.

When Kaneki finally stopped crying Hide noticed he was considerably warmer and the tremors were all but gone. He could feel the coolness of Kaneki’s lips seeping through his shirt from where they were squished against his shoulder.

“I couldn’t feel warmth,” Kaneki murmured against the shirt, his words shapes against Hide’s skin.

Hide said nothing but nodded for Kaneki to continue.

“I was born this was, not from my aunt or uncle, or anyone at school, or neighbors, not even animals. Everything I touched was cold, no trace of the warmth I used to feel from my mother.” Kaneki made no sense at all but Hide let him go on.

“My mother, when she passed away I was never able to feel warmth again. My world has always been freezing ever since, until.. until just now.” Kaneki pried himself away from Hide’s shoulder to peer at him with wonder filled eyes.

“Why? What makes me different?”

“I don’t know..”

“Am I your personal heater now?”

“I-I’m sorry! It’s just-”

“No no, it’s fine I was just kidding. This is kinda nice anyways. Plus, what are friends for?”

Kaneki smiled and Hide’s heart tightened in a way it never did before. “Thank you Hide.”

“Don’t mention it, I guess now you’re stuck with me, huh?” Hide tried to sound nonchalant but he was sure his excitement bled through his voice.

“Being close to you feels really nice!”

“Then I guess it is where I’ll stay,” Hide winked and KanekI looked flustered but his cheeks didn’t tint pink, Hide guessed that’s expected when his lips were only barely the same color as his skin now.

“We should go home,” Kaneki started after a while.

“We should,” Hide replied but made no effort to move.

“But I want to talk more with you,” Kaneki murmured.

“Didn’t I just promise to always be here? We have all the time in the world,” Hide assured, even when he himself didn’t want to leave.

“You’re right, it’s just, this is so hard to believe for me. I feel like the second I let go of you none of this will be real,” Kaneki sighed but stood up.

“How about this then,” Hide started and removed his headphones from around his neck, placing them on Kaneki’s slender one beneath the muffler. “Like this you have a part of me with you at all times!”

“It’s warm..” Kaneki smiled up at Hide and the poor blonde was about ready to melt of the spot.

Hide smiled back with triple the luster.

“See you!” Hide waved at him.

“See you!” Kaneki’s hands were cradling the headphones with the gentlest of looks on his face.

Hide couldn’t wait to get home and tell Marude, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come so he can meet Kaneki again. Their futures were near and now intertwined, he was now bound by nothing but his own will to be close Kaneki at all times he could be.

Something good was waiting for them and Hide just knew it.

*For Tainted Sorrow, Nakahara Chuuya.

#hideweek #hideweek2017 #day 4: good/pleasing #fic #fan fiction #tg #Tokyo ghoul #hideyoshi nagachika #Kaneki ken #hidekane #aya writes #writing #vague relationship #marude itsuki #high school verse #implications of bullying #fluff

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