#SORRY i had this in the drafts since u asked but kept forgetting to post akfjakd

[apollos-boyfriend]

HI I SEE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT DANGRANOPA AGAIN!!! i should not be on tumblr rn but i'd like to ask on what you think about the whole remnant brainwashing thing revealed on the danganronpa 3 (i think it was 3??) anime. I have. Thoughts on this topic n im curious about yours aswell :D (also your post on the patterns in danganronpa is so <333 honestly my only observation that differs is that the chapter 2 murders were caused by the motives themselves, its a bit of a stretch on the first game but its there sksksksks)

ohhhhh……… i hate hate HATE the brainwashing thing so much. it’s so bad and honestly ruins a LOT of what makes the remnants so interesting to me. i pretend it does not exist.

because like. they had everything laid out for them. there was SO MUCH they could’ve done to explain why the remnants fell into despair. i would imagine the class was already going through it with the death of fuyuhiko’s sister. it would’ve been easy for junko to start pulling the strings from there, to make them slowly fall into despair, only to use chiaki’s death/execution as the final tipping point.

it feels so much more impactful for despair to have been a Choice, at least to some extent. it’s worse to have them turn to it, to be pushed to their limits and fall from grace in such a horrible and shocking way. brainwashing is just. what’s the point? there’s no conflict. all the crimes they committed while remnants? well it’s okay because they were brainwashed ^_^ that wasn’t ACTUALLY them, silly ^_^ it’s also a total fucking cop-out and ruins miterai’s character. like what the fuck do you mean the ultimate animator’s work is only so widely beloved because he found out about subliminal mind control. it should be widely beloved because he’s. yknow. the best at his craft. he should animate so well it blows people’s dicks off. everyone else gets to have their titles because they’re insanely skilled at their craft but he gets it because mind fuckery?? imagine if mikan was the ultimate nurse because she figured out placebo bullshit instead of actual nursing. what’s the point of an ultimate title if your fame and prestige don’t actually come from your skill and instead brainwashing everyone into thinking you’re the best.

as much as udg sucks ass, they did the despair thing RIGHT. we saw the warriors be pushed to the edge, have despair offered to them as a way out, and fall to it. and they turned away!! they realized they’d been manipulated and lied to and chose to make up for their actions!! you KNOW you fucked up when udg does something better than you.

so yeah 👍 i hate it and actively ignore its existence. 2 me junko did the same thing she did with the warriors and manipulated and pushed class 77 into despair in a more natural and believable way. miterai gets to stay tho bc i love him

#muse talk #verity-clover #dangantag #SORRY i had this in the drafts since u asked but kept forgetting to post akfjakd #yeah. i hate it. it’s bad. arguably worse than v3 to me #bc it ruins pre-existing canon #neg

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Blackened Bond (Ch 15.5)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Shadows Fall

Next Chapter: Non-Standard

Word count: 2.4k

Tags: Kamo Noritoshi x Reader, Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast @nayydoesthings

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, and specify if you're okay with nsfw posts or not, please mention it in the comments below ty❤

Author's Notes: This is a deleted chapter but I decided to just put it as an extra/half chapter. I took a step back to assess my drafts and deemed that it didn't need to be in the story for it to be cohesive. But this is full of extra info that will be quite significant in the chapters to come^^

土御門天皇

Chapter 15.5: Tsuchimikado

“Geto Suguru has pronounced war against the Jujutsu Society. We are expecting there to be an ambush here in Kyoto and one in Tokyo Shibuya. We must prepare thoroughly. Amongst the students we will only be asking Jujutsushi of Grade 3 or higher to assist us in this battle. And you may opt out if you do not wish to fight. But your help will be highly appreciated, especially on such short notice.” Principal Gakuganji ended his speech by looking at you dead in the eye.

And deep in your gut, you knew you didn’t have so much as a choice. You were going to fight this battle as a Special Grade sorcerer (and being the only one in this room at the moment), whether you liked it or not. So you gave a short nod in return.

“I’ll be joining. As the future clan head of the Kamo clan and the eldest son, this is not a matter to be ignored or taken lightly.” Your head whipped around to face Noritoshi and to your biggest surprise he was looking straight at you. Then he turned to nod to Principal Gakuganji who nodded back approvingly.

“I’m always up for a good fight, so of course I’ll be joining. Can’t miss out on a chance to beat down curses.” Todo grinned and cracked his fists.

“Will you join, Tsuchimikado?” Utahime asked.

Everyone was silent as you looked at her then the Principal. “Of course I will.”

Everyone else called out to say if they were participating or not. After the meeting was finished after several more announcements, and you left back for your dorm rooms.

◇◇◇

The next day, Utahime sensei called in some students plus Hiroki into her office. You all filed in, wondering what it was about. Hiroki nudged you, “Why am I here with yall kids?” You pinched him in return.

Outside the door, you went face to face with Noritoshi. He gently called your name, “Good morning Y/N.” You just purse your lips and nod.

In this time of war, you need to set aside all personal matters. It’s all business; everyone had to cooperate together to have a chance of surviving.

You counted and named the people present. Noritoshi, Todo senpai, You and Hiroki. That was it.

Utahime let you all sit down on chairs facing her desk before calling your attention, “So, I called you all here today, because we have some information on the possible curses that might appear here at Kyoto. As you know, Geto Suguru has the ability to manipulate and take in curses.

We know of some grade 1 and special grade curses. I decided that amongst the students, the three of you are the most capable in handling those. Hiroki san, you’ve stated that you’ll be fighting alongside your cousin, so I brought you in here today so that both of you can prepare together.”

He grinned, “Of course Utahime san. We got this in the bag sis.” He punched you softly in the arm, and you softly hit him in the head. A childhood habit of yours.

So Utahime sensei then explained and listed off the curses that are known to be in his possession. All of you paid close attention and took notes. Most were Grade 1 and 2.

“And finally. We know of another Special Grade curse, the Giant Black Tsuchigumo of Kyoto. This curse is-” she continued to speak, but it felt like radio static on your end. You couldn’t hear anything anymore.

The blood drained out of both your and Hiroki’s faces. ‘Huh? I thought that nightmare was already done and gone. Whatthefuck’

Your right hand shot out to grab at Hiroki. Utahime paused at the sudden movement. It was getting harder to breathe, and you could feel the onset of the panic attack kicking in.

You’ve done so well recovering from anxiety attacks over the years, but this just made you feel so helpless. “Sorry, can’t breathe.” You gasped out.

“Give her space!” Utahime and the others pushed back the chairs and desk. Hiroki caught you as you leaned your forehead against the top of his chest and settled on the ground.

“Breathe in 2 3 4, hold 2 3 4 5 6 7 8, out 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9, and again,” Hiroki repeated your go to breathing exercises, ignoring how your nails dug into his arms. It took you a good 7 minutes to calm down. “I’m so sorry,” you apologized, wiping your sweaty palms off your thighs.

You looked down at your hands to see them still shaking. Utahime, Noritoshi and Todo were all kneeling with you on the floor. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Utahime patted your head lightly.

“Tsuchigumo. That big black one is dead. I have no idea which one you’re talking about right now, but the one that reigned in Kyoto is dead.” you said. “Gojo Satoru and I killed that curse back in late 2007.”

Noritoshi inched closer to you. Hiroki stiffened, watching him closely, but he didn’t do anything to close the gap. He just stayed by your other side, a silent and steady presence.

Utahime reached out to wipe your sweat with a towel. You only noticed now that the room has been rearranged, chairs pushed away to make a bit of space. There were cushions on the ground for everyone to sit on.

“Drink.” Hiroki pushed a cup of hot tea into your hands. You nearly spilled it, but he cupped your hands firmly, helping you drink. You leaned against your cousin, sighing at his warmth.

Hiroki spoke up, “As you can see, it is a bit of a touchy subject for the both of us. Our clan had a bad run in with that Tsuchigumo years back when sis was only 6 years old. But we are pretty sure that, like she said, Gojo and Geto san have gotten rid of it.”

Utahime nodded, “Geto did huh. Then he must have taken it in during that time.”

Noritoshi looked at you and realized that something far worse than just an attack happened. “Your sister,” he spoke quietly, “was she…?”

Hiroki raised his eyebrows. “Yes, our Sora was killed by that Tsuchigumo.”

The atmosphere in the room turned heavy and almost unbearable. Utahime looked concerned, “We need as much information on that Tsuchigumo as we can. Y/n, can you tell us anything?”

Oh yeah, just the one memory you’ve desperately tried to forget your entire life. Still you nodded.

Hiroki squeezed you.

“So basically.” You paused. “One night when I was 6, Sora neechan was like 10 years old. We got attacked near the Kiyomizu shrine. It was getting late, the sun was setting. But we were up at Daimonji-yama to play, and there were barely any people around. It wasn’t too dark yet, but it was really quiet.” Your teeth were practically chattering.

Noritoshi met your eyes and for a moment you wanted him to hold you. Until you remembered you were supposed to be angry with him, so you brushed it off and looked elsewhere.

“Satoru nii and Geto san were actually in Kyoto at that time to visit us. So I remember calling Toru nii and screaming for help, he was on my speed dial. He told us that we could call for help anytime. We are pretty much like siblings to each other. So he would always come to our aid. Right niichan?”

You leaned into Hiroki as he let out a small “Yep. He never lets us down. Dumb as he is.” Your lips actually quirked into a small smile at that.

“Sora and I basically had to hold off the curse until they got there. But it was strong. As you know, Tsuchigumo are earth spiders. But this particular one reigned in Kyoto for so long. Like centuries. It was so strong it ate every other tsuchigumo, making it grow bigger. Still, it rarely comes out to feed and is adept at hiding. We like to think of it as a smart curse. Every bite is laced with poison.”

“Back then I only mastered basic freezing and wind manipulation techniques. I couldn’t make barriers yet. And it really…” you closed your eyes remembering that sense of helplessness you’ve felt like never before.

“It was the worst 10 minutes of my life. I couldn’t do anything to hurt it. I had another technique I was working on, but it involved using reverse cursed techniques which I didn’t perfect yet. And I didn’t like playing with fire as much as I did with water and ice.”

“I froze it several times, but my technique was way too weak. It kept breaking free. Sora nee didn’t even have a cursed technique; she couldn’t fight. But still she felt responsible for me since she was older, so she …” you stopped. You closed your eyes and tightened your fist.

At this point your nails were drawing blood from your palms, but you didn’t feel the pain. “It’s so stupid really.” You laughed out loudly trying to distract everyone from the tears that were forming in your eyes.

Noritoshi reached out to you. But Hiroki’s eyes flashed at him in warning and he dropped his hands. Your heart squeezed painfully.

“I was just a stupid kid, who let her weaker sister take the shot of poison from that Tsuchigumo, instead of facing it head on. She wouldn’t let go of me no matter how hard I tried to put her behind me. A huge part of me was scared and terrified that night of course. I didn’t know what to do and I was such a coward. It was about to hit me until Satoru nii came.” You took a deep breath and forced out the remainder of the story.

“So I actually did manage to activate my reverse cursed technique towards the end, but it was too much. I burned nearly half of the mountain…. My mom had to help in restoring a large part of it afterwards. Satoru finished it off and carried us away immediately.”

“But Su- Geto san. Like he has the cursed spirit manipulation right? I never realized if he took it in or not really. I never particularly cared about it that night, because Sora nee was dying in my arms.” You rushed your words and pushed further into Hiroki’s arms.

“It was a bad omen for our clan,” Hiroki’s teeth were gritted tight as he relived your stories. “For such a powerful and evil curse to share a part of our namesake, only to hurt one of our own. After that day, we hunted down all the Tsuchigumo we could find across the entire country as a priestess told us to do so to cleanse our clan of a lingering curse. But… for some reason it was never enough. Now we know… it still lives with Geto san.”

“What painful memories,” Todo cried. “We will help you take it down, y/n. And I don’t doubt that you can defeat it the way you are right now.” You were touched by his words.

“But can you face it once more?” He asked.

“I’ve been training all my life for a day like this. Of course I’m going to throw that thing into the depths of hell.”

“Careful there.” Hiroki nii was eyeing you carefully. “You tend to rush headfirst when you’re being controlled by your emotions. You’re too reckless lil sis.”

“That’s true.” Noritoshi hummed. You glared at him. “If it’s to save a life, why not.” You shot back and had a stare off with Noritoshi.

More like a one sided glare on your part and him lovingly looking back at you with a sad smile. Noritoshi’s bond mark burned.

"Ahem." Hiroki cleared his throat loudly and everyone turned to him. "I'll be watching over lil sis here so it should be fine. I'll be joining this war anyways."

You smiled at your cousin gratefully.

“Well then. That was the last curse that needed explaining. I think the four of you are suited to taking them down. You’re all dismissed.”

You all nodded at Utahime, rising to your feet along with everyone else.

◇◇◇

“Y/n! I need to talk to you.” Mai said urgently. She followed you back to the first year dorms after class. You had told the first years about the special grade curses you were expecting to see in the war.

Mai looked particularly shaken upon hearing about the death of Sora. She was always the cool and calm one amongst the first years, besides Mechamaru that is. So this was very new.

“Of course, come into my room.”

You served her tea and cakes, before kneeling down on your floor cushion.

Mai threw her arms around you. Your eyes widened as her arms tightened around your shoulder. You cautiously put your arms around her.

“I know how it feels….. To lose an older sister.”

You flinched, “Is yours-”

“She’s alive.” There was a different pain in her eyes. And that was then you realized that she must have been left behind.

“Grief is the loss of a person. Someone could be going through a divorce or a break-up and experience grief. You could lose an important person, while they’re still alive and it’s still considered grief.” Mai said.

You wanted to cry, but your eyes ran dry. All you’ve been doing is crying yourself to sleep night after night lately. Your soul was still longing for Sora when she couldn't be reached anymore.

Noritoshi was different. He made it clear that he’s still running after you, never stopping to call out your name even if you ignore him in the hallways. But you were not willing to touch on his matter as of now.

Mai told you all about Maki and her life in the Zenin clan. How she was left behind and forced to be a Jujutsu sorcerer. Everyone has their issues deep inside, but you’re all still pushing and coping as you fight curses.

You buried your hair into Mai’s chest. “I’m sorry you experienced that Mai. You’re such a brave woman for doing this everyday even though you’re afraid of curses.”

“You get used to it.” She sniffed.

You sat there for a while, just hugging her.

“Wanna watch sappy romcoms with me?” You peeked up at her from her arms. “Of course.” You both smiled at each other.

Author’s notes: Tsuchimikado translates to “Emperor of the Earth”, while Tsuchigumo translates to “Earth Spider”. Thus, with how Tsuchi (meaning earth), both names share common Kanji. They are a strong clan that can heal and guard living beings and plants. And Tsuchigumo are expected to be easily defeated by them, being an earth creature. But, as Hiroki said, it was a very bad omen when Sora was killed by one.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

#angst #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfiction #jjk imagines #jjk x you #jjk x reader #blood bound #blackened bond #bonus extra

[choices-fam]

Old Ethan & MC Drafts

Hi everyone! So sorry I haven’t updated recently - life’s gotten a bit hectic since I started uni! Good news though! I got into my dream medical school! :D (I essentially got into a program which covers 7 years of both undergrad and med school plus internship!)

Before everything, though, I was able to write up a few drafts for Open Heart fics, but I haven’t finished them. I asked in a previous post if anyone would be up to see them, and people said “yes” (you’re all so sweet ; U ; )!

These drafts range from snippets and bits of dialogue, to headcanons and AUs!

I sincerely apologize that I haven’t completed them, but I hope they’re alright nonetheless!

Enjoy! :D

_____

Snippet: Ethan’s Birthday (Introduction)

Doctor Ethan Ramsey had impeccable memory.

There was no point contesting it; he was one of the brightest minds in medical diagnostics, and a good memory was the unofficial prerequisite. He knew symptoms and diseases like the back of his hand, and could determine treatments and prescriptions at the drop of a hat. He was a genius in the medical field - no two ways about it - and his mind and memory were one of the finest in the industry.

And due to this fact, (Name) couldn't understand how the senior doctor managed to forget his own birthday.

She had been planning a surprise for nearly two weeks now. Doctor Banerji had accidentally let it slip one night when it was just the two of them, and she had been shocked to discover that the date was fast approaching. She hadn't heard of any plans to celebrate the attending physician's birthday, and when she expressed this concern to Naveen, the older man simply laughed it off.

Apparently, Ethan's date of birth was a well-kept secret between him and his mentor. The diagnostician wasn't in the habit of revealing the date to anyone, and whenever his colleagues asked, he only shrugged and said they had far more important matters to concern themselves with than the date of his birth.

"Ethan doesn't really care to celebrate it," Naveen explained. "It's nothing tragic - no painful memories attached to the day - he's just... indifferent to it. He doesn't like making a fuss over something he thinks is trivial, and he always says the time they'd spend celebrating-"

"-Could be used to save his patients instead," (Name) finished with an amused smile. It was an expression Naveen easily mirrored.

"I see you're beginning to understand how he thinks," the old doctor laughed. "If you want to do something for him, you have my full support."

With Doctor Banerji's blessing and his promise of cooperation, (Name) eagerly got to work.

Snippet: Ethan Tries to Cook for His Wife, MC (Introduction)

Doctor Ethan Ramsey was a terrible cook.

It was a fact of life: the sky was blue, the earth was round, and Ethan Ramsey would burn his house down trying to boil water. 

There wasn't really much he could do about the matter. Between his busy schedule, lack of experience, and general inability to cook anything that wasn't gooey, lumpy, or a questionable mix of both, he never saw the importance of developing the trivial skill.

And besides, the meals his personal chef brought over were far more appealing than anything he could ever come up with.

Unfortunately for the good doctor, it was only on a very importantSunday morning that he realized the sheer depth of his ineptitude, and when he finally came to regret not trying to hone his culinary prowess.

In his defense, his heart was truly in the right place. He wanted to surprise his lovely wife, (Name), to celebrate a special occasion, and to start her day off with a homemade breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, he realized - rather belatedly - that acquiring said 'homemade breakfast in bed', involved him cooking the whole thing. Not an easy feat for someone with the cooking ability of a rock garden.

And so here he was - alone in his home's kitchen at five in the morning - staring almost dumbly at the groceries before him. The ingredients were taunting him - he could tell. Especially the bag of flour.

However, he wasn't a world-class doctor for nothing, and he certainlydidn't get his position by giving up. He was never one to back down from a challenge, and this was no different - his wife's happiness was at stake after all.

Shaking his head, Ethan ran over the plans again in his mind: he wanted to make a simple breakfast, and that included pancakes, scrambled eggs, and the sausage links he bought from the deli.

It seemed easy enough. It just involved a bit of mixing and frying, after all.

He took a deep, calming breath. He could do this. For his wife, he could do this.

Reading over the recipe he printed one final time, he cautiously brought out a mixing bowl, opened the bag of flour, and began his work.

To the attending physician's delight, making the pancake batter was far easier than he expected. He just had to select the right ingredients, measure them in the right proportions, and carefully follow the procedure. 

'Just like prepping samples for the centrifuge,' he thought with a healthy dose of self-satisfaction.

His confidence mounting, Ethan then plucked a whisk from the untesil rack, and began to mix the ingredients together. The process was almost fascinating to him - to see the wet and dry components come together, and to see them increasingly resemble actual pancake batter. 

He didn't think he would actually get this far, to be honest.

After another minute of vigorous mixing and whisking, Ethan finally deemed the consistency to be satisfactorily 'not-as-lumpy-as-before', and set the bowl aside for later.

'One down, two to go,' he thought, and allowed himself a satisfied smile.

He could definitely handle this.

(And those were famous last words.)

Dialogue: MC & Naveen

Context: Ethan and MC check-up on Naveen. Upset with their lack of progress, Ethan loses his temper and walks out of the room. Naveen and MC have a conversation, but unbeknown to them, Ethan is listening outside the door.

"Please forgive Ethan for his outburst, (Name). I’m certain he didn’t mean it.”

"It's all right. I understand.” (Name) turned to Naveen. "You know... Ethan cares about you a lot, Naveen - more than he can bring himself to admit. In his mind, he owes you everything - kind of like how Iowe so much to him. And if he were the one sick and no matter what I did I couldn't help him..." (Name) didn't even want to think about it. "Let's just say I can excuse a few outbursts from someone hurting that much."

"You've figured him out, haven't you?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'm not sure I know him all that well, to be honest."

"I think you'll find you understand him more than you know. You certainly understand him more than the majority of the people in this hospital."

"He has trouble, doesn't he? Letting people in?"

Naveen hummed sadly in agreement.

"He does. Some people, he pushes away without meaning to." Naveen's mind flashes to Ethan's outburst."...I certainly hope he hasn't pushed you away. I know his temper is a force to be reckoned with, but I promise, he is a kind and compa-"

(Name) laughs.

"You don't have to worry, Naveen. He can try to push me away all he likes, but I promised to stick with him through this, so I'm not budging."

A pause.  

"Take care of him for me?"

"You'll take care of him yourself, Naveen. You're going to get better."

"For an old man's peace of mind?"

"...All right then. I promise."

Dialogue: Naveen & Ethan

Context: Set after the dialogue above (MC & Naveen). Ethan walks back into the room after MC leaves, and he and Naveen talk about MC and what Ethan just heard.

"I don't deserve it."

"Hm. Maybe not. But she seems to believe that you do, and isn't that what matters most?"

"She's wrong, you know. She's a brilliant doctor in her own right, and I'm sure she'll do excellently under anyone's guidance. She doesn't need me - not really."

"Hm. And you don't need me."

As soon as the words left Naveen's mouth, Ethan glanced at him sharply - as if offended by the insinuation. A heartbeat later, however, the younger doctor finally seemed to register his knee-jerk reaction. Naveen was already smiling at him when Ethan mirrored the expression.

"Touche."

The two sobered.

"It's daunting, sometimes," Ethan admitted quietly. "I'm not always certain how to go about guiding her."

"I understand. You want to do right by her, don't you? I know the feeling well."

Ethan looked up at him and he smiled.

"My advice? Just be her mentor, Ethan. Believe in her. Encourage her. Be there when she needs you. Help her but don't coddle; let her discover things on her own. And everyday-"

Naveen placed a hand on Ethan's knee. His breath shook.

"- be proud of the amazing person your apprentice has become."

Naveen lauged, choked - and he looked at the younger man with the warmest eyes Ethan had ever seen. Ethan's breath caught in his throat, but Naveen just squeezed his knee tighter.

"Not everyone is lucky enough to be blessed with such a wonderful protege. Believe me, Ethan... It's something you will treasure forever."

"I..."

"I know, Ethan. And I'm certain Dr. (Surname) does too."

Ethan squeezed Naveen’s hand gratefully, before standing to walk out of the door. 

"She'll be as good as you one day."

Ethan clicked his tongue, frowning at his old mentor.

"No, she won't."

The sight of Ethan's small smile shocked Naveen, before the younger man continued,

"She'll be far, far better."

Dialogue: Tadpoles (Sequel to “Vulnerable”)

Context: Ethan tries to write a letter to Baby Ethan, and deals with the grief of losing Dolores.

“I wanted to write him something. For when he's older. I wanted to tell him about his mother, and the side of her that he never had the chance to see. Or at least I tried to until-" he gestured to the mess of a letter in front of him with a humorless laugh. "I've made a mess of myself, haven't I?"

He ran a shaking hand through his disheveled hair.

"...I don't know what to do right now."

(Name) smiled sadly.

"You breathe. Until you get there."

Headcanons: MedStudent!Ethan Coffee House AU

Ethan studies at a local coffee house where MC works.

Ethan knows MC’s name without her telling him.

"Oh, I haven't even told you my name! I'm-" "(Name)." "Oh." "It's... It's on your name tag."

MC practices his flashcards with him, but Ethan’s handwriting is horrible.

"Pneuma- pneumeth- pneu- Jeez, how do you even pronounce this thing? Actually, how can you even read this thing?" "It clearly says pneumothorax." "Right. Because everyone knows that word."

MC is the one Ethan talks to about his dreams.

_____

Tags: @emomoustache ​

#open heart #pixelberry #playchoices #dr ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #mc & dr ethan ramsey

[mitchm-arner]

Best Friend // Mitch Marner

Playlist

Listen to your friends by Declan McKenna

Girl Crush by Harry Styles

Loving is easy by Rex Orange County

Fool by Cavetown

Waves by Chloe Moriondo

I don’t wanna be okay without you by Charlie Burg

It’s U by Cavetown

Lose it by SWMRS

Best Friend by Rex Orange County

A song about being sad by Rex Orange County

Bitches broken hearts by Billie Eilish

I wanted to write this for awhile and I hope it’s not terrible. These songs are the main basis as to why I’m writing this so I hope you enjoy and thank you! The playlist is on my spotify it’s called Best Friend // m.m if you’d like to listen. I’ll be adding more to it later on but for now that’s all I want to include.

September 29th, 2018

I walked home from my last class of the day glad to be heading home to my warm apartment. Living in Toronto you get used to the cold fall days that seemed to last longer than ever. I wrapped my scarf around my ears and face so I would get some sort of warmth. As I was lost in thought I felt my phone buzz but decided to ignore it trying to think things from my past and not worry about now which happens a lot.

I walked around the city complaining to my best friend at the time, Mitch, who decided to carry me the rest of the way home. We had gone out to celebrate my last match of golf for the season. I had the lowest scores and had many colleges looking at me for the future.

“Liz, please don’t leave me alone here.”

“Mitch what are you talking about?”

“When you go to college please don’t forget me.”

“How could I ever forget you! You’ll be famous because of hockey don’t even get me started.”

“What if that doesn’t work out?”

“Trust me Marner. It will.”

I snapped out of it and felt the slight warmth of a tear slip out of my right eye. I was grateful for having Mitch in my life at that time but yet, I then felt a wave of sadness take over and let a few tears fall down my face before I wiped them on my scarf. I was so in love with him but I always thought he never loved me in that way. Our senior year he was with me twenty-four-seven. People thought he was my boyfriend but yet he never was.

Mitch went onto greater things in life and got drafted into the NHL that year to play for our favorite team, The Maple Leafs. I went onto other things as well. I got a scholarship to a college in our area for Golf and I took it. It’s funny how things work out like that almost like it was meant to be for us.

He promised he’d see me almost every week after his practices and talk to me every night. He kept that promise up for a month but people get busy and things are different when you start to not see someone everyday. Everything became overwhelming for him and I understood since he was obviously playing professional hockey.

I walked into my small apartment locking the door and staring at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t the best looking girl around but when I tried you could say I looked a lot better. I took the scarf off letting my hair somewhat just fall everywhere. The dye of it washing out from its light brown to a golden color. I hated it. I looked as if I had seen a ghost that’s how pale i’d gotten since the last year of high school. I used to be tan and glowing now, I look as if I could be dead. Golf practice was taking a lot out of me this year which caused me to lose sleep over it.

I decided that maybe I should clean myself up more often and not just let everything crash on me all over again. I went to my bathroom and grabbed the box of dye my old roommate left here before she left. It was a darker brown then I had been used to. I knew this was how it was going to be from now on.

After it was done and I had washed it out I decided to make dinner since I needed it desperately. I decided to make something out of a cookbook my Mother gave to me before I moved in so I could learn a bit more about cooking for myself. I knew basics and mainly Italian food but Golf put me on a strict diet of no carbs or sugar. I hardly follow it now since I usually work it off and only eat the serving sizes.

I looked out the window seeing as it was already dark and watched the city lights sparkle like cameras flashing. I bet Mitch was doing well with his life I really haven’t been looking at anything he posts or says. I almost altogether stopped watching any hockey because it made me upset. I knew one day he’d be greater than I could ever be and I’m proud he made it. I pulled out my laptop and started typing before my I could even process it I was looking at his Instagram. I saw  beautiful girl who was blonde and overall much more than I’d ever be. She looked put together and just stunning. I saw that Mitch had his big goofy smile on his face the one he always gave me when he was proud or just genuinely happy. God how I wish he’d smile at me like that again.

My thoughts were interrupted by a slight knock that got louder as the person knocked. It seemed as if they weren’t sure if this was the right place or if it was just a random child who got lost. I deleted the stuff on my laptop and closed it getting up. I sighed and unlocked the door wrapping my blanket around my body still trying to get warm. When I opened the door all the way I almost slammed it shut but something was wrong.

“Liz?” Mitch stated almost unsure and almost broken.

“Yes?” I asked shocked that he’d show up on my doorstep at almost midnight.

“I-I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?” I said starting to get annoyed by his presence

“I’m sorry...I just want to talk.”

“You could have said this to me three years ago?” I scoffed.

“Please it’s a long story can I come in.”

I opened the door all the way motioning him to walk in and shut the door locking it. I watched as he looked around before sitting down on the couch, our couch. He looked at it and moved his hand on it as if he had lost the feeling in his hands. Before he could even get one word out he looked at me and started bawling his eyes out. I had no clue what to do or how to help so I did what I knew was best. I walked over to him and pulled him into my body while he cried into my shoulder as I tried to calm him down by rubbing his back; the same way he used to do for me.

Once he calmed down he looked me in the eyes and just pushed my hair out of my face. He looked as if he was cold and tired. He didn’t have his natural glow as he usually did which was unusual.

“Do you remember the last day I spoke to you?” he asked quietly almost a whisper

“Yes. Why?”

“That’s the day I had a game and I hit my head.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t know why it made me feel upset and I-I-I can’t”

“You can’t what? Mitch you’re scaring me.”

“I can’t believe I never told you”

“Mitch what the fuck is going on?”

“I need you in my life”

“Are you drunk? High? What is going on?”

“I’m sorry I was too dumb to notice my feelings for you.”

“What?”

“I love you Liz, no one else”

#mitch marner #torontomapleleafs #fanfic #auston matthews #william nylander #nhl hockey #hockey

[kyareureuk]

omg my memory has faded so much already but im finally gonna get this out of my drafts and maybe. make a new post or add to this if i think of anything else. also i’m sure a lot of this is gonna be out of order sorry ;;

HAPPY EVER AFTER FANMEETING 080419!!!!!!!!!!!

they started with 24/7=heaven and followed up with i like it pt 2

during i like it pt 2 when namjoon uses jimin as a telephone jimin shouted “MOSHI MOSHI” so loudly akjgflhjgf

bts was saying that a special guest had come to the fanmeeting that day and they were like “where? look around..... can u spot them....?” and everyone in the crowd was like peering around and then bts was like “the special guest is you, army!! hahahahaha”

hoseok started introducing himself and then pointed the mic at the crowd to finish with “hoooooope!” taehyung did the same he introduced himself as taetae and pointed the mic at us to say it back

jimin had like three rounds of cheers before he even got his introduction out bc he kept halting every time he was about to speak

jin began his introduction w his patented soulful stare and then gave a big flying kiss but jungkook stuck his hand in front of jin’s hand and threw the kiss out to the audience as well so jin turned to him after and was like “what was that? what do you think you’re doing??” jhfgjf

yoongi was sitting between tae and jin and when it was his turn to introduce they like helped him take out his in-ear monitor so the crowd could cheer for him

when the host was speaking during the introduction tae kept playfully hitting his arm in an “oh, stop it” way and then would switch cutely gesturing for him to continue

when they were introducing the memory clouds they started reenacting haikyuu (i heard they did naruto the first day?) mostly with taehyung, jimin, jungkook, jin and they made some references/may have said lines from it but i haven’t watched so i can;t say for sure akjfgh

ironically i’ve forgotten a lot of the memory cloud stuff akdhjfgjkfgh they teased jimin abt if he was gonna get jungkook the mansion he asked for for graduation and also they showed a vlive of namjoon’s where he was using cute filters and he looked like resigned but still a little embarrassed that it was being shown fkjghg

they talked abt whether jimin had grown taller and he claimed he had so they got jimin and yoongi to compare heights, at first jimin stood on his tip toes so on the screen he did look much taller but namjoon pushed him down and made him stand properly. they were p much the same height but honestly jimin was trying so hard whereas yoongi looked like he wasn’t really putting his all into standing 100% straight

at one point when the host asked jungkook was like “i’m more grown up than the oldest so i take care of him often” and namjoon chimed in like “jin’s a child” and jin was like “a CHiLd?????? i just act that way to be on same level as you guys!!”

i forget how they started talking abt it but the host was asking tae abt john legend and tae said that in his mind they had the kind of r/s where they could go out to eat like. burgers or smth I CANT REMEMBER but then he started singing all of me and he stood up to turn to jungkook so they could do a duet and jk harmonized so well... and the others were all like “yahhhhhh!!” afterwards

they divided up into groups based on how far they could jump..... yoongi didn’t even try he did a hop backwards. during jin’s turn jimin jokingly did an imitation of him doing a jump in place and jin seemed to be like w/e and did a small jump forward. jimin did like the longest jump and was SUPER self satisfied

their teams for who would get the costume punishment were hyung vs maknae line and maknae won with the photo of grubby jungkook in hawaii ajhfg i was cheering for hyung line a) i love them b) yoongi shouted the loudest “せーの!” to get us to cheer and i didn’t want to let him down. but their costumes were funny so

they kept joking abt namjoon’s costume because even though there’s a bigger difference w english pronunciation lemon in japanese sounds very close to rapmon in korean. also they called yoongi “suga(r ) candy”

jungkook took a bite out of namjoon’s lemon costume and made a face like he was tasting smth sour and later when he walked jin down the walkway he pretended to take a bite out of him as well

jimin walked hoseok down the walkway near my seat first while singing happy birthday to army and tried to blow out the costume’s candle, then tae and namjoon walked down it like they were models on a runway and at the end tae pretended to chop namjoon up

jimin then walked yoongi down the other side and since his candy cane costume had a green bow he was like “isn’t this like christmas” and started singing last christmas to him, then he told him to hurry up and yoongi started strutting and when they got to the end jimin went around to his other side to take a bite out of the candy cane

hobi kept doing silly dances in his cake costume and they did baepsae he did the dance break wearing it

during good day jin and hoseok started serenading each other and the others kind of gathered around, tae got up in jin’s face and jk was holding onto his shoulder while namjoon slung an arm around hobi and then jimin and yoongi kind of just watched on w amusement lol, then they all turned and gave hearts to the crowd

otsukare song was like a huge party i genuinely thought i would cry if they sung it but it was just way too fun also i dont even remember paying attention to them during it i was just singing as loud as i could. edit: also i was trying so hard to catch a star i was looking up like the whole time!!! i wanted one so badly but none came close enough ;;

there was an interactive rhythm game where the members were assigned an emotion with a gesture/yell to go with it, the teams were jin (love) tae/yoongi (scary) namjoon/hobi (surprise) jimin/jk (fun) and their team’s yell was nochu! at one point they tried to mix it up and say chimchim! instead but jimin was like haha nah .

they each went to a walkway and the 94z team stood on the one nearest to my seat, then the danger and bs&t mvs played on the screens and when the symbols for the emotions passed everyone’s army bombs changed to match the colors and we had to do the gesture/yell. i think hobi got bored and started dancing up on namjoon during bs&t at one point and namjoon was just like I’m Used To It.

there was also an interactive rock paper scissors game! the section of the audience that i was in didn’t win though i lost almost every round lol. the pre-recorded turns for the members looked like they were filmed on the same day as run eps 49-50 because the outfits were the same

mic drop dance break!!!!!!!!!! super cool. not much else to say.

during tae’s line right before the bridge in dna jin hooked an arm over his shoulder so he couldn’t sit and then for the bridge pretended to whisper into tae’s ear while singing his line and tae pretend-whispered his line back. when jimin popped up he gave a little finger heart

their individual filters for go go were so cute... i think jin and yoongi got switched up in line but regardless yoongi was very coy and cute during his time up the crowd really went wild for him

sakaguchi kentaro came!!!!!! the real special guest. the members were talking about signal and mentioned he came and they shone a spotlight on him and he waved, then jimin pulled at his throat a bit to get ready to sing and hobi “helped” by like chopping him in the windpipe ajfhg and then jimin started going down the walkway towards where his seat was basically serenading him with don’t leave me and the others followed up, jimin asked to call him hyung and hoseok like asked for his number in front of a stadium full of ppl akhfghfg get it hobi.......

omg i literally like. i know there are so many things im forgetting but i waited too long to finish writing this ...... bts fried my brain it truly was an otherworldly experience im lucky that i remember any of it at all

#diary #180419