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#SO I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE
yashley · 5 months
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the way matt creates these emotionally** flat??? characters who have family attachments to the main pcs and yet there's just something.... off about the way they display intimacy that it equally angers me, makes my skin crawl, and makes me just want to write extensively on what a master storyteller matt is. the way he presents just in this campaign alone, parental figures that on paper can easily be defended and rallied behind somehow especially if their choices played out more negatively than they intended*, and yet actually experiencing people who you, individually, care so much about in your life and who, you would just naturally believe, would also care so much about you, but there's a blip on the monitor and a disconnect that at first is so infinitesimal. until it's not. until you get bruised deeper and they look at you the same. and it's like there's no true empathetic connection. from your "loved one". it's not malice, it's not heartless or calloused, it's just.... it's surface-level and it's crossed t's and dotted i's and you know that they do not mean it to hurt you. but they also don't really mean it when they tell you they love you. and it aches so incredibly well done that matt will have these figures look into the eyes of their own and say the words and have a softness in their face, and yet have no genuine fierceness to the love they claim for someone who has so much love for them. and it's not a criticism, it's just so well done because it's such a nuanced relationship in the world and it sucks but matt always delivers it so perfectly
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arabela25 · 11 months
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Carpe Diem, Joker Out | Slovenia, Eurovision Song Contest 2023
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nametakensff · 3 months
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Have you guys ever been so disgusted by family snz that you actually start crying
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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trans-xianxian · 6 months
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AKHDMCUKSNDM Hours after essentially giving up on getting an education job I got an email back for a position I applied to literally yesterday?? which would be an after school teacher at a private school in the richy rich part of town which is actually so so funny to me but well. it's a job
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torchickentacos · 1 month
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crying is like computer updates. it's going to happen but if you put it off it'll force its way through at really stupid/inopportune times
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kenzan-kiwami · 3 months
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been hunting for excuses to write about him again before rgg8 and i finally found one
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i didn't think much of this scene when i played through it initially, but going back to it i suddenly remember that scene from the start of yakuza 1 where he tells kiryu that kazama used to be the tojo clan's top assassin. being as close to kazama as he is, i have no doubt he already knows the true nature of sunflower and the deaths of kiryu and nishiki's parents at this point.
a big part of the reason i like to lowball kashiwagi's age (29 or 30 in Y0; mid-sixties in IW) is because i don't think he'd have had such an idealised view of kazama had he been any closer in age to him when they first met. i don't know if they'll ever tell us how long kashiwagi was in the family before he made captain, or why he swore up in the first place, and frankly i don't ever feel informed enough to make those kinds of decisions for my own headcanon. but if he was, say, in his late teens or early 20s, i don't think it would be a stretch to say he might still take some influence from kazama's mentality. absolutely not as much as if he was a sunflower kid (...could he have been a sunflower kid??), but enough to inform decisions he makes later in his life.
to wander further down the path of non-canon, i'm not sure kashiwagi would have decided on his own not to say anything to the boys for thirty-odd years. kazama clearly harbours a lot of guilt around the fact he murdered enough parents to fill an orphanage, and keeping it from the kids means he doesn't have to confront that fact every day he sees them. they miss their parents, but they look up to kazama for offering them a new life. they enjoy his company. they're happy. why risk demoralising them, kashiwagi, after all that?
on the other hand, he could have just kept himself out of it on purpose like he does here. it's an interesting parallel to how he's described in yakuza 3 - staying out of ichiban's drama because he trusts him to sort it himself, vs staying out of clan drama to not bring anything down on his head as clan captain (which obviously doesn't work). still, he refuses to relay daigo's whereabouts to kiryu, because he thinks it best kiryu doesn't know. for valid reasons, but it's there.
i want to say something profound here but i don't think i can. i just really like him in this game. it's nice to be able to see how he's grown and changed as a person since the 80s; since kazama's death; since he got gunned down in his office and died in the arms of his last remaining family figure. but it's also nice to see the ways in which he's stayed the same. this scene from 7 is one of the things that makes me long for a more kazama-centric game, or at least more exploration of kazama's character, because if that gaiden substory is anything to go on he's been informing kiryu's decisions for basically his entire life. it'd be cool to get a more direct peek into kazama's story.
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AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH STILL FREAKING OUT OH MY GOSH
Y'all I'm losing it
HUAAAGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH FIRST DATE
LOL YEAH I'M TENSE TOO
AUGUHAH HE'S ADMITTING IT FIRST DATE WITH A MAN OHHHH MY GOSH I'M NOT OKAY LOL
THIS BETTER BE AN ACTUAL DATE BC THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD
SPFIENAIMCLS IT'S A GROUP DATE
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH EDDIE'S HEREEEEE
OR IS IT ON ACCIDENT MAYBE O.O
IS HE GONNA THINK THEY'RE JUST THERE AS BUDDIES O.O (BUDDIE LOL)
OR IS HE GONNA THINK HE WAS BI THIS WHOLE TIME BUT BUCK WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW
Oh my gosh I'm freaking out
I'm not okay
What the heck
(edit starts here)
Ope a guy with his hand
OPE OH GOSH
That's not good o.o
Not really matching your message sir xD
Oh goshh o.o 😳😬
OH GOSH BUCK
Me when I saw the promo again a little while later: OH MY GOSH HOW DID I FORGET THAT BIT
Gosh. Wow
(end of edit)
Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .
REVIEW
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm not okay
I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!! OH MY GOSH. This is the anti feeling to last night when I watched tgd and the end killed me for an entirely different reason THE GAYS ARE WINNNINGGGGGG!!!! I'm not okay. Anyway IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Genuinely though all the plots throughout were really good and there were a TON of good moments. Plus the crossover with The Bachelor was GREAT lol. I need to go back and watch those first two minutes but I will update the post slfjdfhs. Now, I'm going to make a quick celebration post and maybe rewatch that clip if possible, and then I'll be back because I can't possibly put off this review xD. Oh my gosh I'm having so many thoughts.
OKAY AAHHH HI ME FROM THE NEXT DAY I was literally freaking out so much (and still am) that I couldn't do it and I kept procrastinating and then I fell asleep lol xD. I have continued to procrastinate (and I had things to do) but!! Here I am :)).
First though, I'm going to go back to the promo bit and add the second half because apparently I completely forgot about it, and I have since watched it a couple of times xD.
Okay!! Now, let's talk about some other bits of the episode xdd.
The Bachelor crossover was so fun!!! I've never seen The Bachelor lol but it was a great story, great call xD. And everyone freaking out SLFKGHDKS!! Maddie and Josh fighting over the call to Chimney giving them spoilers to Eddie siccing the girls on Buck to Bobby and Hen going 👁️👄👁️. And that poor girl xdd. Also the "Do I have to?" "I wouldn't" just killed me xDD. Glad she's okay though :)). Sucks she'll never have her chance lol. But hey, she got to talk to him :)!! Wild xD. Anyway, I think was a super fun thing to throw in there for the 100th episode :DD. It's also interesting to see a reality show crossover with a fiction show xD. Had a fun time with it!!
Maddie and Chim!! They were so funny at the beginning xD. Her sending the 118 was wild lol. Also I loved her face to him later when he was talking about how cool Tommy was right after Buck was complaining about him (😏😏) xDD. They're idiots your honor lol <33. Anyway, Chimney slayed on the calls today 🥰. Especially figuring out the head trauma for that poor woman! Nice job my guy :)). Also, I didn't notice it until I saw subtitles later but "I'm your basketball beard" AUGHWUOGIH!!!! XDD SLFJDGLKDS HE'S SO WILD FOR THAT O.O. Anyway he did genuinely slay, loved him supporting Buck lol :)). I'm sure there was some brother in law bonding in there xD. Maddie slayed on calls too!! I really loved her conversations with Buck though :D :)). The brunch one was sweet and kind of silly, plus the "Is it circled with a heart?" line was SO GOOD LOL SLFJDHS XDD. Idiot <33 (Buck more than anything but it's all affectionate I promise). Also I really loved Maddie's reaction to Buck talking about maybe accidentally purposefully injuring Eddie. It completely makes sense for her character and I'm really glad it was in there, it added some great depth <33. Though the storyline itself has depth!! Especially after the ending lol. Anyway, poor Maddie with her story about the Sarah's :(( xd. That sucks :'(. I do kind of know how it is (not quiiite as close) and it really can be awful xd. Dyeing your hair is a wild step xD. Plus SLFKGJDS "I would've changed both names" oh my gosh XDDD 💀. Also nice on her for calling Buck out for acting like a teenage girl lol. Anyway, love her, and Chimney <33.
Hen and Ravi!! We didn't see much of either of them this episode but they were great :DD. Poor Ravi xD. Bro had no clue what was going on with anything ever lol. He didn't even know who Tommy was! After all the drama he caused!! Poor guy's out of the loop (well for the drama he would cause, is what I meant) lol. They both slayed this episode though :DD!! Hen was great on the house invasion call and the Bachelor call :)). Love them <333.
Bobby, Athena, and Harry!! AYYY Harry :DD!! Welcome back man 🥰. Seeing him greet Athena and Bobby was so nice :'D. It's nice to have him back :')). Sucks to have a change in actors (Marcanthonee will be missed!!) but I'm sure he's gonna be great :)). Elijah, I believe his name is? Welcome aboard dude :DD! Anyway, his return isn't under the best of circumstances o.o. Love Bobby knowing, or being suspicious yk, and called Michael (they are my besties your honor 🥰🥰, I love them <33). Also really glad he told Athena immediately and didn't turn to hide it or anything 😬 :)). Anyway, glad he was so supportive <33. That whole thing was wild though o.o 😬😬😳. It really sucks so much that that happened :((. Harry didn't deserve that, and he was totally valid in his anger and wanting to respond. I don't think he should've beaten the guy up, but I get it. It sucks that he was to be a representative but that's how it is :'((. Hopefully it'll change one day. Also his conversation with Athena about it all and whether she cares more about being a cop or his mom OOUFGH O.O. That bit hit HARD 😬😭. He did have a bit of a point, but I'm glad he apologized <33. And that Athena was more understanding the second time. On a lighter note, her waking up him by pouring a bucket of water on him was amazing LOL xD. Anyway, seeing his reaction to the video hurt so much :((( 😭😭😭💔. It really is awful to see yourself angry. I only tend it see it in writing and it still sucks and is hard xdd. But HALLELUJAH YAYY he's not being charged, at least with prison time that is :')). And he's sticking around :DD!! I'm sure it'll be difficult with Athena monitoring his community service and such but I think it'll be really fun storyline wise :)). Also Athena having to tell that mom that she shot her son 😭😭😭💔💔🥺🥺. That was so awful, I'm so sorry honey <33? And that poor lady 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔. Her acting was amazing <333. It's such an awful situation and I hope she manages to be as okay as she can be :'((. Pooe guy <33 he seemed great :'( :'). Anyway, love them all (the three I said lol) <33 🥰🥰.
It's time.
Well time to talk about the rest of it besides that one part of the ending lol.
Buck and Eddie, and Tommy!! BROOK this was so wild o.o xD. The jealousy was painful 😭, but I also kinda loved it, it was hilarious xD. It really sucks that Buck was feeling left out, and I do think they were kind of leaving him out, but I don't think it was at all intentional. Eddie invited him to basketball several times, and the other things were things he and Tommy already had plans for. He even seemed excited when he thought Buck was going to come to the fight with them (which that bit HURT by the way lol 💀)!! He did seem kinda shady asking Buck to watch Chris but I'm sure it was an accident xDD. He's just an idiot your honor lol <33. I do wish he was a little more obvious about not blaming Buck when he got injured, but like, he was in a whole lot of pain with a possibly broken ankle xD. It's understandable lol and I don't blame him. I also don't think Tommy was trying to exclude Buck! H was happy to see Buck throughout the episode, he gave him a tour, planned to give him flying lessons!! It was just a really unfortunate situation and Buck wasn't communicating (as he admitted at the end lol). Poor Buck though through all of it 😭😭💔🥺. I know it was kind of on him for not communicating but it just sucks being left out :((, I totally get it. You don't wanna say anything and be told you're overreacting or for people to think it's weird, and you don't wanna be possessive or anything, but it sucks and you miss them :((. I know how it feels xD xd. Still, I'm really glad he was getting aware of it, and he listened to the help from Maddie lol <3.
I think the conversation at the end was a really good way of wrapping it all up. Seeing everyone's side (Eddie's opinion given by Tommy but honestly he wasn't really as involved in the problem lol), and having everyone apologize. Also then them hyping each other up :')). I do find it interesting to see and outside perspective to the 118! We're so used to the family that is the 118 and the 126 that we don't really think about the fact that it's probably not like that for most people xdd. It wasn't even really like that when Tommy was there. And it makes sense for him to be jealous over it!! It's completely understandable and a really cool perspective to see :)). Although I will agree with Buck lol, he's pretty cool on his own lol.
Now, seeing as I was freaking out and forgot half the previous lines, I'm going to say what I thought/my reactions to a few specific lines and everything as it started to ramp up xD.
By the way, I have watched this scene (or at least parts of it) like. 20 times now. And some of it I'm still trying to remember as I freak out once again right now lol xD. So keep that in mind lol.
When they were talking about the mouths static was hilarious xD. In all fairness, it wasn't great lol.
And then the Muay Thai (I think that's how it's spelled?), the after flying lessons bit and "Not in the same day"??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! That's where I started to really get stressed and suspicious and in shock xDD. I was like um. what was that. XD.
And then. Buck admitting he was trying to get TOMMY'S attention o.o. I genuinely wasn't expecting it but looking back on the episode it all makes sense yk o.o. Honestly I don't think even Buck really realized that was it until during that conversation, especially given his tone shift. And the Tommy's face afterward 😭. Bro is surprised xD. And I'm going to be completely honest, I thought Buck was saying "I didn't mean my best friend" there and not "I did maim best friend" until like the tenth time I watched it o.o xDD. The first one was wild, a self denial of Buddie because he's oblivious xDD. The second one makes more sense but is equally as wild o.o lol. He's realizing that just before he says it xD. And maim is dramatic but he did injure Eddie 😬🥺. Anyway, the next bit.
You know.
The moment.
"My sister says there's better ways to get someone's atten-" AND HE K I S S E D HIM!!!!! WHEN. I. TELL. YOU. I. LOST. MY. MINDDDD!!!!
It was so wild oh my gosh. You can look at my liveblog for more freaking out about that xD (and probably later in this post lol. And also in anything I've reblogged about it xD). I can still barely believe it's real. That it happened xd. I realized a little while ago that I have no idea what I'd do if Buddie actually got together, and I felt some of that feeling here. We thought for SO LONG,l we wouldn't have it, had kind of lost hope, and then BOOM!!!! I know I had hope for this episode but it wasn't SERIOUS, not really!! Hope but "I expect it.not to happen, no matter how hard I hope xdd". And we may not have gotten Buddie BUT WE DID GET BISEXUAL BUCK!!!!!!! I'm genuinely still so happy about that oh my gosh. I meant to make a post earlier but I was grinning in the hallway at school xD.
Now, AFTER THE KISS WAS SO WILD TOO AAAAHHHHHH.
OKAY I'm back for a third time lol, later in the day xD. Had a lot to do but now I'm here!
Anyway AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I barely even registered the sus stuff they were saying beforehand because I was in such shock, and the same goes for afterwards xD. I was just SCREEEAMING!!
But!! Some of these being my thoughts having watched it 20 times, and some of them being what I thought at the time, THE MOUTH STATIC COMMENT 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺 XD. Also we love Tommy asking if it was okay 🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰 :'). Anyway, it's the way Buck is just absolutely speechless. The only thing he has is the mouth static comment and that's it xD. All he had laid out lol. It's so cute to see him flustered and speechless :')). Also the fact that some of it comes from this revelation he just had (not just being a bi disaster, but discovering he's a bi disaster) is so good <333. And I just- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HE'S F R E E!!! AT 8 ON SATURDAY SURE BUT HE'S F R E E 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰🥰😎!!! ACCIDENTAL SUNGLASSES BUT WE'RE KEEPING IT. LIKE THE WAY HE SAID IT AUGOAUHUGIH HE. IS FREE!!
I'm so not okay over that <33
Anyway I love that Tommy does all the talking lol, he knows Buck can't and is short circuiting but he still has a conversation with him xD :).
And just AAAAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE!! IT'S SATURDAY AT 8 BRO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AUUUUAGHHHHHH!!
I mean I know you all do but you know lol.
Also Tommy telling Buck to call Eddie xD. Yeeeah, honestly seems like a good time to call and talk to him if he's on pain pills lol. Buck might have trouble speaking though, given he's still having a queer crisis xD. Kinda crisis, kinda discovery. Skipped some of that stage lol.
Buck's final look of the episode just destroys me :')). He's so baffled and happy your honor <33.
Now here's someone I'll say that I've been thinking of about the whole thing. Buck's tone changed, his vibe changed, something in his eyes changed, during that scene. Around the flying lessons bit xD. You can tell. I think he felt it, he just wasn't exactly sure what it was. And whatever he thought it was was probably terrifying (assuming he guessed correctly or knew lol). I think, if Tommy hadn't done something, he would've just let it go, let the moment pass. And, especially if he's done the same thing before, I think he would've pushed it away enough that he stopped thinking about it. I don't know if he has ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But it makes me think of a Buck who had Moments, who Wondered, and then dismissed them immediately because there was no way, he Couldn't. Or it was something he couldn't quite place. So he left it alone and forgot about it.
Idk. All I know is I don't think he would've made a move if Tommy hadn't lol, even if he was feeling the vibes xD.
Anyway, I've been genuinely so ill over all of this for literal days now. It's just past midnight on Friday for me lol. I'm just going so insane over it.
Today a question of the day in one of my classes was "What's a moment from tv/movies/musicals that impacted you?", you know something wild or epic or emotional or whatever, that impacted you. And, though it's far from the first time it's happened to me, I said this. Buck realizing he was bisexual. I don't think some people realize (though surely most of us on Tumblr do): This is a masculine, main character (honestly the main character) on an extremely popular mainstream television show, that after 7 seasons realized he was bisexual, and he's not a trope. It is profoundly impactful. Still definitely give credit where it's due to shows that have been doing it since the beginning (Lone Star, for example), but this is huge. They finally CAN do it. And I'm so happy for them, and proud of Buck :')).
Also quick note I just love how much Oliver is committed to and knows his character. The fact that he withdrew media wise because he agreed with us?? Wild. But he genuinely loves Buck so much, probably more than any of us, and he fights so hard to do him right <33. I'm so proud of, but more importantly, happy for him :')). He's been waiting so long for this and he totally deserves it, he absolutely slayed it <33. His acting was AMAZING, as always. I mean it's always great but this was just top both xD :'D. Anyway, thank you Oliver <3.
And thank you to everyone else on the show who worked to make this happen!!! And everyone in the fandom who fought for this!
I still genuinely can't believe it xd. It's just- amazing <3.
Also, quick think on Buddie: I do still want Buddie long-term. But I think Buck and Tommy could be cute, and no matter what I'm just excited to see where it goes for now :)). I actually kind of think it's better that Buck doesn't date Eddie first, for him and for us (a likelihood of them staying together). He needs to discover/explore/understand this new part of himself, and that might require branching out a bit :). Plus it's just good for him to get to be out there and live how he wants to, not worrying about endgame right now. I think Buddie will happen one day, but for now I am absolutely happy with this <333. I think it's gonna be great, and I am so excited :D.
One last scream:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It was sooo good, and not just The Moment. All the calls were cool and interesting, including the crossover, which was fun. Everyone's individual storylines were good, and even through a lot of silly moments, packed and stuffed with emotion :'). Plus all the little throwbacks to episode 1, and the series in general, were great and really awesome :'DD. Also, just thinking about the impact of the kiss being in the 100th episode <33. Wow. So insane (me) <33. Anyway, Buck and Tommy was wild but they were cute, I'm glad Buck and Eddie are doing better. I'm also glad everything got worked out between Athena and Harry <33. The situation sucks but I think we made the best out of it :')). I loved the Buck and Maddie interactions and moments this episode, they were great <33. I wish we got a few more team moments, or full family moments, for the 100th episode, but that's a small thing :) ❤️. I still THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and I thought it was just absolutely amazing.
So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was super great. There were a bunch of fun storylines, which I don't want to forget about in light of the last scene. I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .
9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 4: Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered
It was so amazing. I'm so excited but so nervous for the next episode! I'm sure it'll work out fine but it looks wild. I'll be back here next week for my review of. . .
9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me
See you next week!!
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jon-withnoh · 1 month
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There have been too many big life events in the past week. I am sleeping so badly. My brain is not processing.
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lynchiangf · 6 months
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just submitted such a shitty assignment like by my standards everyone please clap and cheer
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hekateinhell · 4 months
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caught in between being desperate to have time to write fic and also doing my best to navigate adult responsibilities which this week alone look like: an assignment due, a lawyer meeting (everything is fine I just had some questions about stuff), an interview, and my bestie about to go into labor at quite literally any second and I have to be Available
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queer-reader-07 · 3 months
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screaming crying throwing up i was all vulnerable and shit in my writer's reflection and my prof was kind and supportive in return
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kqluckity · 6 months
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sorry to team soulfire but unless everyone on green decides they hate their schedules then they. I'm pretty sure they have it lmao
and I'd LOVE to be proven wrong on this btw i hope they all stream from green because I don't want to see my team get separated it just. doesn't seem very realistic right now? fit isn't even live...
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sunthroughtherust · 11 months
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crying sobbing and throwing up if ken's arc in the movie is becoming sexist
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lucyvaleheart · 6 months
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#man. nights are. Hard huh#Uhhh this is. Another vent post HEAVY trigger warnings for this one#honestly I wouldn't bother reading this nothing'll come of it good or bad so#don't worry about me ill be fine in the morning just need to. Scream into the void again#....again serious serious trigger warnings on this I'm too tired to say specifics but I know it'll be fucked so#Anyway#maybe Jade's right maybe I do need to see a therapist#she talked about some medication for anxiety and it's effects and what is like on and off the stuff#And......#........'waking up and going to bed on the verge of tears' vs 'not doing that'#sounds................#............christ. I...#I'm not suicidal I think I'd never actually follow through nor would I bother to self harm#None of that would solve anything for me and I'm too chicken to do it regardless#But.....#......i sure do think the words 'I wanna throw myself off a cliff' kind of a lot#killing myself is sounding less like a vague weird concept and more grounded in reality#hhhh#do I need to talk to someone about this? maybe#am I going to? probably not#is putting this on my public blog where I know there's a very good chance a bunch of people really close to me will see it a cry for help?#............................................................#i dunno#just know my chest hurts all the time and Im always a few seconds away from breaking down in tears at any given moment#and I just kind of want everything to stop#just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop#wanna turn my brain off and just leave it like that#everything sucks and is hard and getting harder and despite being absolutely surrounded by love and support#I keep having these horrible low points and the high points feel further and further away#....anyway.....this is the last tag it'll let me do so. um. I'm sorry for whoever does read this... hope you're having a decent night
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transgalvantula · 19 days
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not now kitten mommy's trying to hold it all together right now
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