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dansedan · 3 years

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HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DISCO ELYSIUM COMMUNITY HERE IS MY BOLERO/LATIN POP HARRY DU BOIS PLAYLIST FUCK YOU PAY ME

(liner notes and English lyric translations under the cut, listen-along with the playlist!)

(warning, LONG LONG post)

BOLERO ELYSIUM:

1. No Soy Nada- Harry mourning over Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

My love, how I would like to have you with me

Turn back the clock and feel your heartbeat again

My love, how I wish not to be alive for today

And that you can be born again, walk your way

[Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

[Verse 2]

My love, I never meant to be bad, I swear

And as much as I tried and improved, it is not enough for me

[Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

It’s a good, simple angst chanson. Very accurate for a drunk idiot mourning over a relationship and self-flagellating.

2. Te Fuiste a Tiempo- battle-tested relationshit/partner-divorce

Translated lyrics:

[INTRO]

You could’ve killed me like this,

So cruel and merciless

[Verse 1]

You left on time

Because you were starting to be a necessity

How lucky was I

When fate gave me my freedom

You left on time

Because I was beginning to understand that you were a disguise

And with the cynicism of a mirage

You asked for one more kiss

[Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

[Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruel and slow (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left on time

(The ra ra ra ra ...)

[Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

[Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruelly and slowly (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left o-o-o-on time

From the point of view of both of them!!! fucking insane dudes. It’s an April fools playlist of boleros so I am not going to pretend to have nuance here they are pining cheesily. Jean and “I gave you my wings when I was just taking off/I gave you everything and even neglected myself” makes me see red. Plus the idea of Very Soppily switching Jean’s attempts at having Harry… Not Do What He’s About To Do as “one last kiss” is. Soppy and amazing ok shut up.

4. El Último Trago- the bender of apocaliptic proportions

Translated lyrics:

Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave

I want to see what forgetting you tastes like

Without putting your hands over my eyes

Tonight I'm not going to beg you

Tonight you're really going to go;

How hard it is to have to leave you

Without feeling that you no longer love me

The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink, kiss me

Let’s hope there are no witnesses

Just in case you were embarrassed

If one day we accidentally meet again

Do not bend down or speak to me directly;

Let us simply shake hands

And let the people murmur after

The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave...

It’s the LAST DRINK hah see what I did there but also it’s a song about the foibles of drunkenness and drunken romantics so it’s very apt for harry trying to drown his Dora-related sorrows in alcohol. Poor mans. Also Dolores does just mean “pains” in here but. Dolores…

5. No Soy de Aquí Ni Soy de Allá- Amnesia (hah, get it. Geddit. Yes this is mostly here because of the name but LOOK THERE’S MORE)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

I like wine as much as flowers

And rabbits, but not tractors

And homemade bread and the voice of Dolores

And the sea wetting my feet.

[Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

[Verse 2]

I like to always be lying in the sand

To chase Manuela on my steed

For all the time, to see the stars

With Mary in the wheat field

[Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

[Verse 3]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

Okay so hear me out: the stupid boiadero rugged macho man listing shit he likes to seem cool? So good for early amnesia Harry. This has Raphael Ambrosius Costeau written all over it. The mild mysoginy is only the cherry on top but all the random-ass nonsense lines that are just there to sound cool is perfect for Harry just. Saying shit and seeing if it sticks. Also the song bops so it’s here. Also like… “bad ladies” = klaasje thirst, “Jumping walls and opening windows” = the jamrock shuffle, “I like wine as much as flowers” = commodore red, forget-me-nots, “the sea wetting my feet”= Martinaise… ey? Ey? Ey?? Am I saying Jorge cafurne predicted disco Elysium? I don’t know but I’m sure saying SOMETHING. Also this would be a great ARB karaoke song.

6. Diez pasos hacia tí- getting to know Kim

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Life left us crossed

In a very casual way

You came like the sun

Stealing my shadow gradually

Any leak of light

Everything was a sign

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts over me

And the fear, naturally.

[Chorus]

You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

Any leak of light

Served as a signal

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts about me

And the natural fear

You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

You made me shake like that (You made me shake like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To swim in your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

Okay so clearly they don’t kiss YET but. We’re keeping on the theme of being very very cheesy and romantic because this is a shitpost playlist so here is a song with some vibes of slowly allowing yourself to trust someone who takes a bit of darkness from your life. “any leak of light”, “you arrived like the sun”, sunrise parabellum… also I love Harry being weak for Kim so “you made me tremble like that” is just. Yes thank you.

7. Soy un Corpóreo y Dentro de Mí Hay una Actriz Recién Titulada Llorando -superstar cop

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

[Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

[Verse 1]

The show must go on

Experts indicate that it is the best

Two out of three recommend it

For your daily use

[Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

[Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

[Verse 2]

I have no other life than the one that sweats inside of me

And I don't want it to go, and I don't want it to go

It is that I have no other life than the one that cries inside me

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

[Outro]

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

OK SO THIS ONE IS HEAVY but for both the tentatively-affectionately-titled “terminal cop brain” that Harry (and Kim and Jean) suffer as well as a touch of his internal struggle with his own self-hate and depression AND Dora shit it is here. Superstar cop just needs to buckle up his disco belt and bring down the law (no he doesn’t he needs a lot of real actual help but uh. Okay harrier.)

8. Lo Mal que Estoy y Lo Poco que me Quejo- the jamrock shuffle around Martinaise

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

[Verse 1]

I always get up with my foot looking at the ground

The mute voice greets me from afar

He gives me his silence but I play the idiot

Looking in the mirror

[Verse 2]

And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine

I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself

I self-diagnose without even minimal success

And so I get depressed

[Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

[Verse 3]

I go out to the sidewalks, my walking out of tune

My suitcase full of boulders

My smile upside-down from climbing so many stairs

Without getting anywhere

[Verse 4]

And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving

And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’

A brick doesn’t know how to cry

But it doesn’t follow a beat well either

[Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

[Bridge]

And how my whole life hurts

And the doctor has told me

That calls into question the truest truth

That I'm late to the niche

And that to each new pain I look for a placebo

[Outro]

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

Chin pon!

Is this not the most perfect song for the absolute insanity of mr. Du Bois? First, the catchy fucking tempo, let us enjoy how splendidly jaunty it is. Amazing. Then, all the stuff about the mirror, ESPECIALLY “And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine/ I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself”. Also the line “And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving/And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’” feels so much like an argument between Harry and skills over Dora shit… this song is also just a bop.

9. Algo Contigo- falling in love with Kim (which is a canonical event fuck you)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need to control your life

To know who kisses you and who shelters you

[Verse 2]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer continue spying

Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive

I don't even know with what innocent excuse to pass by your house, oh-oh

I have so few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want to die without having something with you

[Verse 3]

Do I need to tell you

That I'm dying to have something with you, oh

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need, baby, to control your life

Know who kisses you and who shelters you

I have very few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want die without having something with you

[Outro]

(Something with you, something with you)

baby, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

There is no excuse, there is nothing I have to lose

(Something with you)

Like a slave (Something with you)

A slave forever, I wouldn't mind being

(Something with you)

Eternally slave (Something with you)

Girl, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad is the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

Okay so for one it’s pretty clingy as a romance song so it’s already perfect. We’re choosing to ignore it’s sung to a woman shhhh but look, okay. “I can no longer get close to your mouth/Without desiring you in a crazy way” is one of my favorite love song lines ever because I’m that brand of idiot but LUCKILY SO IS HARRY DU FUCKING BOIS OKAY so it makes me think of… devastatingly cool smoking Kim. I laughed a lot at the way “Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive” paralleled a lot of my friends’ testimonies of getting really bummed out that Kim left with the body and they couldn’t hang out with him anymore. Also the sort of desperate air of “I have so few roads left/And although it may seem like a folly to you/I would not want to die without having something with you” also pings really nicely with Harry’s state of mind and inexperience and the assumed (reasonable lol) reaction that Kim might have at figuring out about this very unstable man’s pining after him. I almost had a different version of this song but despite the cheesiness of this rendition I like the way the ending lines devolve into… even more desperation. You go to therapy Harry, maybe you’ll get to smooch Kim if that works out…

4. Ya Sé- the final dream with Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I know ... that you don't want to see me, I already know

That you are tired of my way of loving

That you don’t understand me and my jealousy does you wrong

That my caresses no longer shine on your skin

And that my nights are full of anxiety

[Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

[Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm leaving now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

[Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

[Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm going now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

[Outro]

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

Okay so the final dream kicked me in the emotional nuts and this is such a fucking fitting song. I mean, the phonecall had already killed me pretty hard, and the idea of Dora’s voice being so stuck in Harry’s mind that he can immediately react is… it’s a lot. I like the lip imagery here too bc I’m a slut for parallels between Kim and Dora, sue me. The self-flagellation and repetition and just… “ I know what you’re feeling but I don’t care I’m feeling this about it” is so very fitting for the two of them… I just think about it a lot…

5. Ódiame- Jean again… Jean in Martinaise…

Translated lyrics:

Love, don't forget me

Please,

Hate me

Hate me as a mercy, I beg you

Hate me without measure or clemency

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because resentment wants less than oblivion

Hate me for mercy I ask you

Hate me without measure or mercy

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because resentment wants less than oblivion

If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

OKAY SO THIS ONE IS JUICY AS WELL… the whole theme of hate vs forgetting is very directly a Harryjean dynamic but. Please consider the way that this song is very directly interpretable as Jean just. Straight up going into bargaining over the harry amnesia thing. Like, fuck, even if you’re gonna keep being a horrible abusive asshole and pushing me away, at least don’t go an forget me. WHAT A KICK IN THE FUCKING NUTS. Also love the Broderbund bullshit with “Think that at the bottom of the burial pit/We’ll be wearing the same clothing” because. Cop Angst and their equality as partners is Important To Me. Also definitely calling out Jean’s entire being with “ you can only hate that which you love”

6. Sí Po’- Inviting Kim to the 41st (gay)/post-mart domestica

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

The stars aligned

You can't guess what happened

Do you remember that chore

That they had set me for today

[Verse 2]

Yea, see, I managed to run it for tomorrow

I have all the time in the world for you

Mmm mmm mmm

Yea, see, just today that you are also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

[Pre-chorus 1]

It’s not like it was planned

Once it touches us

All the time giving up

Always going towards the crash

Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

[Chorus]

"Let’s not go shopping, not today"

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

[Verse 3]

The weight of the glue

It doesn't make sense if it's like this

Dying with the excuse (From!)

That there is no other way to live

[Verse 4]

No, see, I want to spend more time with you

If a window opens I will take advantage of it

Mmm mmm mmm

Yeah, see, and now that you’re also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

[Pre-chorus 2]

More than enough

And I fully complain

But the time of the world

It's not that long either

Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

[Chorus]

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today " ("please!")

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

[Outro]

With you I have the impression of being safe

That you don't always have to be doing something

LOOK. LOOK. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE TROPE OF THESE TWO ACTING LIKE EMBARASSED TEENAGERS AND THIS IS MY SHITPOST APRIL FOOLS PLAYLIST SO I AM GOING TO THROW IN A COOL TEEN CRUSH SONG SHUT UP. I love the intimacy of just. Groceries for each other, “casually” making time for each other, it’s just the best. Also “But the time of the world/It's not that long either” is HNNG with full game spoilers but you know what. It is also sweet. Fuck you, they want to spend quality time…

7. Tartar de estár major- literally just a terrible cheesy “things will be better OR ELSE” credits scene type song

Translated lyrics:

Tell that old story

That despite everything some things remain

The moments lived

Memories that will remain

Deep in the soul

Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things that we did

It was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

Despite the mistakes

Despite the flaws and virtues

I keep in me the best

Moments that will remain

Deep in the soul

abandon everything and think no more

You can not forget what you lived

And your loved ones

They miss you when you are gone

They don't want to cry for you

Many times

we had to be apart

And feel that despite the distance

We feel the same as each other always

Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things we did was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

Do not overthink it more

There is always a reason

Trying to revive

Trying to be better

A song about memories… and being loved and values… and surviving through those memories and that love in order to try to become a better person……. That’s all I’m gonna say….

#disco elysium #fan playlist #silly

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

Note

I'm sure you've noticed me stalking your blog these past two days lol and I have another question if you dont mind. In my last ask you said you had some theories about zayn leaving ot4vszayn etc and I was wondering if you would expand upon them? If you dont want to write it all out, you can point me towards certain tags or other blogs if you want. I've been looking through your tags and have found a lot but I wanted to know if there is something that might be more like a timeline of sorts? Thx!!

hey there! here i finally am, so sorry to have kept you waiting but i hope this reply finds you well! :)

now onto your questions…

so as far as a timelines @bakagamieru has some really good masterposts (x, x) that i would recommend checking out that really break things down play-by-play and i think most of which was compiled as it was happening so it’s a super great (and super detailed) documentation of all the shit that was going down during that period and all the narrative inconsistencies and stunts and back and forth, etc. they’re quite long though and, like i said, very detailed so i would recommend making sure you have plenty of time on your hands before you get sucked down a masterpost and link rabbit hole lol

and for more thoughts/theories of mine i would say check my zayn vs. ot4 tags (x, x - sorry there’s multiple iterations of this, apparently sometimes i had put a period after vs and sometimes i didn’t and now i have two tags smh at my own damn irritating inconsistency)

now onto the meat of your question, which is my current theories on zayn leaving/the zayn vs. ot4 narrative which i’m gonna put as a read more cause i’m not in the mood for ppl coming for me if they disagree, so read at your own risk folks…

so over the years there’s four main theories that i’ve personally gone back and forth over, which i’m gonna summarize quickly and try and explain as succinctly as i can my thoughts on each one and my opinion on the likelihood of it holding credence

disclaimer before i get into the explanations - a large part of my reasoning has to do with the caveat of there possibly being any kind of real tension or bad blood between zayn and louis in particular or any of the other boys. not saying that it was necessarily actually the case, just that it was a potential factor that went into my rationale and personal mental debate over the whole situation

he was coerced in some shape or form to leave and instead of fighting it, went along with it (maybe b/c he was already unhappy) - if there ever was actually any real animosity between him and louis (or harry/niall), this could explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him b/c he might have felt that zayn could’ve/didn’t fight hard enough or went along with it too easily. but all that aside, even if there was no tension between him and louis/the boys, this option makes a lot of sense because given all he talked about going through in the band (depression, the e.d., too much pressure, not having control or being able to do what he wanted, the intense and rampant closeting putting a strain on his relationship, etc.) it’s not hard to see how he might’ve felt this was the best and only option

he was coerced into leaving, tried to fight it but couldn’t (and possibly even knew for a while that it was coming) - this wouldn’t explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him but instead does put more credence into the fact that that was completely contrived and pushed by mgmt, and is also just as likely as #1 to me for pretty much the same reasons, not to mention it explains some shady things that happened in the months leading up to it re him not being there for certain promo obligations and appearances, etc.

he was coerced into leaving and had absolutely no choice about it and no way to fight it (i.e. didn’t necessarily want to leave but still knew for a while that it was coming) - pretty much same reasoning as above for this one, the only difference being that in this scenario he wouldn’t have wanted to leave at all which given all he went through i just don’t know if i believe that was wholly the case (more on this below)

he chose to leave completely on his own - although it would explain any lingering animosity, this to me is the least likely in large part because i just have a hard time believing he would have chosen all on his own to just up and leave in the middle of a tour, not to mention been allowed to (esp given that they would’ve all known they had the hiatus coming up not long after and were about to go the countries where zayn specifically probably have had the biggest following/fan support - the middle east and north africa). but even if he hypothetically really did choose it all on its own it’s hard for me to believe that he would have even been able to leave like that unless there was some element of complacency from their mgmt that allowed it to happen and then you have to wonder why would they just let 1/5 of their biggest money maker walk away with no law suits, no drama, no nothing. it stinks of a larger plan at play which is what brings me back to the theories above.

those are the main theories that i’ve gone back and forth on and i’ve never really been able to settle on just one, but to me given all that he expressed after leaving the most likely are the first two. i think all of the boys were pretty much done with how they were being treated, but zayn especially so, and it’s very easy for me to see how, when the opportunity arose he might have accepted because he felt it was the best way to save himself (as in his mental and physical health) and possibly also his relationship, though whether that acceptance was with a little (theory #1) or lot (theory #2) of initial opposition on his part, who’s to say. however, i definitely believe that, regardless of the details, there was some element of seeding and/or coercion from tptb, esp when considered in context with the shadiness of certain things, like him not being at certain events that he should’ve legally been obligated to be at in the months leading up to his leaving if no one but him knew he was planning on leaving. or him crying at the last concert that he performed at. those do not seem to be like the actions of a man who wanted to leave completely of his own accord and without any degree of finessing by mgmt to orchestrate it. when you’re a mega popstar in the biggest band in the world you don’t just not show up to something. that’s the type of situation where people will literally come to your house and drag you out of bed because you’re costing them a shit ton of money (like millions of dollars worth of money) by not being there. there’s tons of stories of rock stars where managers or someone from their team would literally go bang down a missing band member’s door, shove them in the shower to sober them up or help them whatever they needed to do, and drag their ass on stage to perform or to a press event or whatever. so you can bet that nothing less, if not the same, would be done for a missing member of a multi-billion-dollar-making band if need be.

so yeah zayn just not showing up for promo events and performances in the months leading up to his leaving? not believable to me at all. the only conceivable reason for him not to have been there is if mgmt didn’t want him there and the only reason (at least that i can think of) for why you wouldn’t 1/5 of your biggest money-maker to be somewhere he should have been legally obligated to be (and that might’ve cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars for him not to be) is if he wasn’t legally obligated to be there because you were already in the process of phasing him out. ergo it was very likely planned. months in advance. and if it was planned months in advance with the help and orchestration of mgmt then that story of him just deciding to up and leave is complete bs and makes it even more likely to me that there was a level of coercion (because again if 1/5 of your biggest money maker suddenly says to you ‘i wanna leave’ you’re gonna do everything in your power to make him stay so you can keep making money, not help phase him out. unless of course you want him out, which they clearly did.)

one last thing i wanna add is a link to a post i had saved that i feel adds a bit of further credence to all this, it’s nothing concrete but it’s something that helped solidify some things for me when i was a giant ball of confusion over what to believe

anyway, i know that i rambled on forever and this definitely did not end up being as succinct or brief as i had hoped (though lbr when is anything i do ever), but i hope this at least sort of answered your questions and made some amount of sense/was not too incoherent and didn’t completely bore you to death lol

#asks #kurtain-the-cat #my thoughts #zayn vs. ot4 #zayn vs ot4 #zayn leaving #theories #(side note: there's also one more side theory re louis and harry's possible/hypothetical animosity toward zayn #that i didn't include here cause it's super tinhatty and has to do with babygate #but if you're still curious about that after reading all this then we can talk about that too)

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hazyheel · 5 years

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Monday Night Raw 5/6/19 Review

The night started off by torturing the brand split, but not quite getting rid of it. Vince McMahon was out, and just said that this would be an episode that we would always remember. Roman Reigns came out to interrupt McMahon, and he said that he would show up on any show he wants if the crowd would have him, thankfully that got cheered. McMahon then said that if Reigns was ignoring the brand split, everyone would start to. Daniel Bryan then came out, I think to complain that he wanted a rematch although he was cut off. He was kissing McMahon’s ass and calling him an intellectual when Kofi Kingston came out. Kingston then told Bryan that he should’ve gone straight to Kingston if he wanted a rematch. Bryan then ran him down with similar rhetoric to the old feud, but this time Kofi was even more confident. McMahon then said that he would make a wildcard rule, where a couple roster members could work both brands. Bryan and Kingston argued again, and Drew McIntyre interrupted. He wanted to fight Reigns, because he has a huge ego. McIntyre was weirdly pro management in this promo, insulting Reigns for punching McMahon. McIntyre wanted a match with Reigns, so McMahon booked both that and a WWE Championship match between Kingston and Bryan.

AJ Styles then showed up, and they just transitioned into a new segment. Styles was pissed about the wildcard rule, the one that just came into existence. I don’t know why he is so pissed, but he is. Seth Rollins then came out to confront Styles about their brawl last week. He said that Styles showed his true colors by attacking him, and Styles said that Rollins was being a dick first. McMahon said that they were to riled up, so he booked them in a tag match against a random tag team.

Grade: D-. I just don’t know why they are still clinging to the idea of the brand split. This whole wildcard rule is just stupid. If you want Roman on both shows, then just get rid of the brand split. It is just dying a slow death, and I wish it would be faster. I dislike inconsistency, and that is all that this wildcard rule will be. The way that this will become tolerable is if NXT is involved. I just don’t like that they are trying to extend this brand split longer than it should be. Just pull the plug Vince. Pull the plug. Oh, and the tag match booking was fine. Vince was annoying when he was patting himself on the back, but that was the point.

Into the actual tag match, Styles and Rollins took on Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. The match quickly turned into a competition between the faces, hitting stereo dives in a dick measuring competition. They did very limited moves, but they seemed like they had good tag team chemistry. At one point, Styles went for the phenomenal forearm, but Corbin distracted him, allowing Lashley to hit a rough spear through the ropes. Lashley hit his stomach hard on the apron as he went down. Towards the end of the match, Styles tried to hit Corbin with the phenomenal forearm, but he dodged it and Styles sailed into Rollins. Styles then left the ring in a very heel move, leaving Rollins to be hit with the end of days for the heel win.

Grade: D+. Super didn’t care about this match. True that it continued the feud between Rollins and Styles, but other than that it was just unremarkable. Corbin got a pin over Rollins, which could be leading to a title match in the future. Oh to joy. This was a slow opening to Raw, because these first few segments took the entire first hour.

Sami Zayn came out for another promo insulting critics like me, and asked what we had to complain about. I said the first hour. He then said that although we can be positive sometimes, he said that we are still toxic after the fact. Bruan Strowman then came out to confront Zayn, and Zayn ran away through the corwd and around ringside. Even during the next match, they ran through the backstage area. Zayn tried to escape while throwing buckets and bins at him. Strowman eventually grabbed him and threw him in a dumpster. Right as a garbage truck came to grab it. I think Sami was thrown in a garbage truck.

Grade: C-. I am gonna cut this some slack because it is the beginning of the storyline, but I can’t give it anything higher than this. I am just sick and tired of Strowman fighting cowardly heels. He should be fighting someone who is actually tough, because that is what he deserves. Sami’s character is good, but I don’t see how it translates into an actual feud.

Lucha House Party then came out for a 6-man tag, and I had forgotten that they were on Raw, against some jobbers they won quickly with their finishers in succession. Fine

Backstage, Naomi, Natalya and Dana Brooke received invitations to Lacy Evan’s match later on. They said that she was weird, and made fun of her for scenting the envelopes. Alrighty.

Next was Ricochet against Robert Roode to qualify for the Money in the Bank match. Ricochet was guaranteed a spot in Money in the Bank, but he had to defend it after losing a match to Roode a couple weeks ago. Roode’s offense has changed quite a bit since he turned heel, becoming much grittier and more violent and overall better. However, Ricochet won quickly with the 630 senton.

Grade: C+. Could’ve gotten higher if it was more competitive, but this wasn’t given enough time. Still, I liked the work in this match, and I always love to see Ricochet.

Backstage, Rey Mysterio was walking around with his son Dominic, but they separated when Mysterio grabbed went into his locker room. Dominic went to grab water, and Samoa Joe followed him. However, Joe just talked to him backstage. Joe criticized Dominic for hoisting his dad up on his shoulders after the match. Joe just yelled at Dominic for a bit, and then told him to tell his dad that he was looking forward to their match at money in the bank.

Grade: B. This was an intimidating promo, but I thought it would be a bit more sinister. Dominic actually held his own while being all up in Joe’s face. I like this feud, and I am excited to see a real match between them. And I want to see how Dominic gets involved.

Next was Lacy Evans against a Jobber, with all the Money in the Bank ladies at ringside (Naomi, Natalya, Alexa Bliss and Dana Brooke). She squashed her with a woman’s right quick, and then Evans got on the mic and ran them all down for not being as good as her. She said that they shouldn’t bother trying to cash in on her, because she will take them down. Becky Lynch then came out for a wild brawl between her and Evans. Lynch was really kicking her ass this time around.

Grade: C+. It was a short brawl, but I was entertained. Maybe that was because I was so bored from the first hour, but I liked it. Still not a positive though.

Daniel Bryan then cut a promo backstage about how Kingston is a terrible champion due to his promotion of consumerism. Cool.

Backstage, the Usos were up to something.

And then the Viking Raiders were out for a match against Kurt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. I think this was a non-title match, but the Champions got a jobber entrance which is never good. However, they had an enjoyable match. Hawkins hit a great flying lariat off the apron, only for Erik to come by and knee him in the face. The Viking Raiders then got in the ring and hit Ryder with the Viking Experience for the win.

Grade: C. Yeah, I was wrong when I said this was entertaining. It was just frustrating and short. I wish they would actually let the Viking Raiders to get over before they were pushed so hard, but they pinned the champions in this match, so the story is not over.

And then we had the firefly funhouse, which I have heard has actually been really good. During the show, Wyatt was trying to find out what Mercy ate, and it turned out to be Ramblin Rabbit. Wyatt said that this was okay, because he expressed himself, and he rewarded Mercy with a picnic around a bunch of kids that were frowning.

Grade: B+. This one was kinda short, but shit it was creepy. I really liked that I lot. So I apologize for saying it was bullshit a few weeks ago. I really like that Wyatt is coming for the kids, it is awesome, and he should be back to a similar character with a twist in ring soon enough. This was my favorite part of the night.

Rollins then cut a promo on Styles, saying that he was going to beat his ass next time they see each other, because Styles made his intentions clear when he left the match. Unclear if this was a heel turn for Styles tonight, but we will see.

Next up was Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. McIntyre dominated in a similar way to their Wrestlemania match. McIntyre nailed Reigns with a reverse alabama slam onto the apron. He also countered a superman punch with an awesome spinbuster, so McIntyre was the real highlight of the match. Roman was about to get the win after a spear, but Shane McMahon ran out to cause the DQ with Elias. The beatdown was happening, and Miz ran in to chase McMahon away. However, Reigns was still hit with a claymore. Backstage, Shane was desperately trying to hide from Miz, and was actually successful until Charlie tried to interview him. Shane tried to hop in a care, but Miz fought him in the parking garage. Shane got the better of the match with a low blow, but Miz was very valiant during the fight.

Grade: B-. Lots of stuff to cover here, and I think it just edges into the positives. The match was fine but not great, and there seems to be a lot of rivalries brewing right now. McIntyre stood tall, but he should have gotten a clean win. As for Miz and Shane, their rivalry is as intense as ever. This all was just a lot, but it was fine in the end.

The Revival were set to have a tag team match against The Good Brothers, but the Usos interrupted on the mic before the match. They played a prank on the revival by putting Uscy hot in their trunks so that their sweat burns. Then the revival was rubbing their asses on the ground and making fools of themselves. Then they poured water on themselves, and started selling for the Uscy hot like crazy.

Grade: F. Fuck this. I get that they are trying to embarass the Revival because they are leaving, but do the stories need to be this stupid? Honestly, the Usos aren’t coming across great either, but having a bit of a change in their character was good. This was just stupid. The Revival are weirdly good at selling though, so that was kinda funny.

No Way Jose was out at ringside dancing around, but Lars Sullivan showed up. He beat down the Konga Line, and then destroyed Jose as well. One guy he hit with a freak accident onto the barricade. He hit Jose with a running sitout powerbomb before leaving.

Grade: B. Pretty good, but I just kinda don’t care about No Way Jose. The Konga people were good at selling, but this segment is always the same.

Backstage, Sullivan was in Vince’s office to intimidate him into extending the wildcard stuff to four people. He did. Well, I guess that means that Elias is getting suspended.

And in the main event, Kofi Kingston defended the WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan in the main event. The two went at it at a very high speed, but their interactions weren’t quite as smooth as the one at mania. At one point, Bryan back dropped Kingston out of the ring, and he messed up the landing and his head smacked the floor. Kingston attempted to use high flying to fight against Bryan with several splash variations off the top rope. In the end, Kofi was able to hit his trouble in paradise to retain.

Grade: B+. Pretty good, but not nearly as good as their encounter at wrestlemania. I think the right person won here, and it was a good way to wrap up the feud. I don’t know what Bryan will do from here, but I am sure he will be involved in a good feud.

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: Samoa Joe promo; Firefly funhouse; Sullivan Beatdown; Main event

Cons: opening promo; opening tag; strowman attack; raiders vs. tag champs; revival bullshit

#hazyheel #wwe #wwe review #wwe raw #raw #raw review #wwe raw review #monday night raw #monday night raw reviews #wwe monday night raw #wwe monday night raw review #pro wrestling #pro wrestling review #The Miz #shane mcmahon #roman reigns #drew mcintyre #kofi kingston #daniel bryan

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konboyblues · 6 years

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On the Fated Lovers Saga

Now the real truth is that DDT realized GL couldn’t continue to exist in the wider DDT canon without there being a heel turn on someone’s part, but Kenneth was already on his way out of the promotion and had rejected that plot twist, so what did President Takagi do? He took the core elements, said fuck yaoi, and wrote a better, more poignant tale that’s now part of the new era’s gay love stories that a) have more substance, and be) have more room to grow organically. Not only that, he said fuck you to the original yaoi tropes that made up Golden Lovers, and instead took inspiration from literary fantasy tropes. Takeshita has Ibushi’s legacy as the best of the best being groomed for even greater things, whereas Endo took Kenneth’s role as the ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’ position in the story.

BUT THEIR PERSONALITIES FLIPPED! Endo was allowed to retain his dignity, whereas Kenneth threw his away for power. Taking on Ibushi’s aloofness, now he gets to grow and prosper as a person and as a competitor with the most powerful stable on the Indie scene. Takeshita, on the other hand, is gradually letting the pressure and ‘mad king’ disease consume him as he continues to scream for something that doesn’t exist (Endo-san). The conflict thus becomes fantasy vs reality, with the reality being that Endo never felt appreciated as a person while in Happy Motel, thus choosing the poor kids club that’s made up of all the people who have no true home in DDT. DAMNATION, alone, derives from Sasaki’s understanding that, that’s a pure state of hopelessness. The kicker? This hopeless tribe is now dominating two separate promotions and more over than the actual Ace.

And then there’s Takeshita, who’s still under the impression that he did nothing wrong, consistently butting heads with a man who won’t acknowledge him even though he’s beaten Endo enough times, personifying Kenneth’s rage for what it really is- a reaction to his own insecurities and inability to comprehend that the Endo-san he created in his head was a caricature, a disservice to the real man who felt useless and frustrated for always playing second-fiddle, a testament to the story that even though Takeshita is more powerful in the ring, he’s still the weakest man in the promotion because his heart’s still that of a child. Because that’s who Kenneth was- is. A man who still can’t get over his ex because he’d created an image so holy that he lost sight that Kota was human. Takeshita still thinks the Endo-san of yesterday is gonna come back, embrace him, hold his hand, corner for him, and be with him always. Takeshita still thinks that Endo-san will return to him willfully accepting of the consort position instead of battling him for the throne.

One of the most powerful moments in DDT last year was Takeshita cleanly winning the Peter Pan bout, getting up, and holding out his hand for Endo yet again. What did Endo do? He spat in his face and walked away. Since then, he’s refused to get involved with him unless absolutely required, and even then, keeping both an emotional and physial distance because his walking away from Takeshita at Peter Pan was his way of moving on for good. One of the things anyone can pick up after a couple of Endo/Take bouts is that the only one emotionally invested in the story to high hell is Takeshita. The more Endo loses, the more he accepts that maybe he needs a change of air, a new goal, something that will actually help him grow. The one thing the Fated Lovers did better than the Golden Lovers is that they triggered the heel turn in time so that the characters could actually grow during their period of intense conflict. Endo realized that fighting his former stablemate wasn’t helping him reach his goal to be the best, so he walked away and began to grow stronger in the subaltern with his family, found a rival in Ikemen, and minded his business. Takeshita? Every other moment circles back to his conflict with Endo-san, his utter hatred of the fact that Endo-san won’t pay attention to him, his need to possess Endo-san who doesn’t, ding ding ding, actually exist.

Whereas Ibushi’s aloofness derives from his choice to mingle selectively and mind his own after years of unhealthy devotion from the crowds, Endo’s aloofness is a result of his growth over the last two years, his ability to reconcile that there is no shame in leaving behind a toxic friendship and moving on with life. Kenneth’s hatred derives from his inability to own up to his own bullshit, which then created his victim complex from hell that’s helped fuel problems everywhere. Then there’s Takeshita’s anger which derives from the fact that he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. DDT saw gold, he was passionate enough to join, and after five years of training and grooming, he’s 22 going on 45, becoming angrier and angrier with every match, quieter and quieter with every promo, more and more livid with the fact that he was robbed of his ability to have some actual fun while training to be a wrestler, robbed of his ability to properly love a man because his first love was also his first, toxic attachment that was based on his emotional neediness and emotional dependency, robbed of the chance to just be, so now we have to deal with a man who’s the best wrestler on the roster but can’t bring himself to become anything more than that.

Which comes full circle with the fact that Kenneth did have a choice- he had a choice at 30 to do it differently, but he didn’t. Takeshita, at seventeen, had the choice to never become a wrestler, but he jumped into the rabbit hole and they never let him forget it. Endo did too, but Endo found a way to stand on his two feet, whereas Takeshita gets to sit at the top all alone. Contrast it to Ibushi who’s one of the best in the world, but has never won the top gold in his home country’s top promotion and likely never will. In a way, the Fated Lovers contrast the Golden Lovers in the best way possible- they get to hit their critical moments and grow from them, whereas the men of GL are stuck in a limbo they haven’t been able to break themselves out of since 2014. Maybe 2018 will be the year they finally have some relevant character growth that doesn’t spell constant mayhem, but we’ll see.

With Endo and Takeshita, they have forever and a day to grow, but the growth they’ve already had has been some of the best character development in DDT territory in a long time. And it is as it should be. The characters, their story, their fated love story is meant to take over the promotion when Harashima formally retires. It only makes sense that they take over as robust, well-rounded characters instead of hollow, stagnant creatures.

#ddtpro #tetsuya endo #konosuke takeshita #kota ibushi #Kenny Omega #Wrestling #real talk

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

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The week in review:

Raw 11/16 NXT 11/18 NXT UK 11/19 Smackdown 11/20 Survivor Series 11/22

Raw:

Appreciate Lana providing logic to the creation of this match.

“Is this a Disney movie” lmao.

Honestly Shayna works better as a henchman than as a final boss.

Love Lana’s theme btw.

rip Mandy.

Ugly kick by Asuka. Not a compliment.

hahaha Lana tagged herself into the match while Shayna had Asuka in the clutch. hahahahah.

“You suck, get out” rofl.

Asuka you’re trash for not saving Lana. Truly.

“I’m actually really proud of you, you showed a lot of courage tonight.” Nia is funny. A bitch and a bully, sure, but funny.

There’s number 9. rip.

First of all, Dana’s shaky interview was going really well, and I wish they had let her finish it cuz god knows she needs the practice.

Second, WHY IS MIA YIM ATTACKING DANA OF ALL PEOPLE?

I’m not sorry, I shamelessly love Bray and Alexa together, goodbye.

“Your word is... jackass” lmaooo why is he even doing a spelling bee to prep for this match.

rip Rambling Rabbit for the 38th time.

What makes him being killed so damn demented is not only the way he exhibits agony and suffering as he dies, but the way they STAND BY LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY. This is the definition of sociopathy.

“Bullseye!” “More like... Rabbit’s heart!” *continues laughing hysterically* jfc.

Really love how Alexa puts her hand beneath her chin and then waves. That goes along with her characteristics developed since the fairy gimmick in nxt back in 2014/2015, to the cosplaying mean girl in 2016/2017/2018, to the babyface in 2019/2020. Also adds another layer with her gloves. Love that.

Nikki’s wandering around looking for Alexa, when clearly she should be looking for the Firefly Funhouse. I suggest asking Seth or Randy.

“Friends never give up on each other,” they also don’t give each other ultimatums cuz that’s toxic af, but okay.

She keeps running her mouth about Fiend and I can already see Alexa demolishing her for it.

LOVE the cohesion in going from one segment to the other as Sarah runs around looking for an interview. Fitting since that’s obviously her job, but it went together smoothly. They really come off as tmz lol.

I appreciate how Miz doesn’t want to fuck with Bray cuz he knows Bray will just torment his family lol. I also appreciate his reasoning because he’s a true opportunist. he doesn’t want to exhaust himself with this match cuz he might cash in later.

Love Alexa’s remixed theme, it’s jarring af. Walking red flag btw.

Oh nooo Nikki what are you doinggg.

I’m not a fan of how Nikki sold this interaction. Didn’t feel natural at all.

OH SHIT the sound of that slap, oof.

Oh my god I love how Bray came out and glared at Nikki. FANTASTIC. Absolute gold. Then he just smiles at Alexa as she takes his arm to escort him to the ring.

And the way the camera focuses back on Miz and Morrison... Miz’s face... I can’t, this is tremendous tbh. What a great story to run throughout this week’s Raw.

lmfao the way Alexa stuck her head between the ropes to scare Morrison. Ugh this pairing is easily my favorite thing in wwe rn.

Interesting, so Bray protects her. A fair duo.

I will never not cringe at watching people pretend to break someone’s neck by twisting it to the side. If I was a wrestler, that’s a move I would NEVER allow to be done to me.

On the plus side, Alexa took out Morrison and he sold it really fucking well. On the negative, it seems that distracted Bray as he’s more concerned for her well being now.

Oh my god the way Alexa reappears from behind the barricade. Creepy as shit.

Love watching her “balance” on the barricade considering she was one hell of a gymnast in her day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for watching Lacey progress in the ring, cuz I think her character work is just fantastic, but holy shit what a downgrade going from Mandy and Dana to Lacey and Peyton.

Why is she excited? Why is it exciting to fight Sasha? Maybe Asuka should’ve taken that match a bit more seriously, considering the outcome. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

“No one is ready for Asuka,” except for Charlotte, Becky, Shayna, Alexa, Sasha...

I do appreciate how Lacey isn’t scared of anyone while Peyton is wary of literally everyone. That’s good. Nia has a point though, y’all could’ve used Mandy. I guess it doesn’t matter though, considering the outcome. Jumping ahead of myself again.

“Worst idea since Quibi” lmao shots fired.

*Bonus* Peyton/Lacey online exclusive: they vibe real well off script. Peyton made points saying she can’t wait to teach Lacey how to be on a team. That’s valid cuz Lacey is NOT much of a team player. Points to Lacey though, she’s funny as hell.

Highlight: Alexa Bliss

---

NXT:

Awesome hearing War Pigs during that Shotzi promo. Is that the official theme song for War Games? If so, baller to wwe for shelling that cash out.

I’m guessing Shotzi was fixing her tank? Was that the premise? Regardless, the setting was different and interesting.

I really like the fencing around nxt’s ringside. Fits with the grungy “indie” feel.

God I’m gonna have to watch Candice defeat Kayden and Kacy aren’t I?

Indi bought the Garganos a flat screen tv? :/ mk. What does she have to gain? Johnny was an AWFUL champion and Candice has never even held gold. What is she hoping to accomplish?

“Indi is gaining one of the best mentors in the nxt locker room” lmao WHAT.

omg Kacy and Kayden are so fucking entertaining, I feel like I say this every time I watch them. All tag teams need to TAKE. NOTES. Look at that cohesion and teamwork. Whew.

Hold on don’t try to retcon Tegan as leaving Candice’s side. I hate Tegan even more than I hate Candice, and she was a shite friend to Dakota by proxy of being a spineless dweeb, but do not try to paint Candice as the victim in her feud with Tegan.

I know nothing about the Dakota/Candice friendship but I’d go ahead and blame Dakota since she’s hella douchey lmao.

Imagine thinking Indi is an upgrade from Dakota. Commentary is super funny and distracting tonight lmao.

Was that not a flatliner? Sure looked like an intended flatliner.

So Kacy attempts to kill herself in the process of taking out Indi and none of the cameras caught it? :/ we still using interns looking for college credits in production? Is that what’s happening??

Vic is kind of an awful commentator in his actual calls. “Nice suplex, almost a brainbuster” better hope that was a brainbuster cuz if not, that was the saddest fucking suplex I’ve ever seen in my life.

So Kacy almost kills herself using offense against Indi and Indi was coherent first? Ugh anyway.

Why do we have to listen to Ember speak every week? What a terrible idea.

So now she’s gonna be nxt’s savior by getting rid of Dakota and Raquel? Oh for fuck’s sake.

Why does she have fucking soda tabs on her gear still.

Why is she teaming with Toni. I THOUGHT THEY WERE HEELS. Seriously, am I the dumb one? Am I the one who needs their hand held? Has Ember not been acting like a heel since she returned? Am I the only one confused about Toni’s alignment??

“We’ve fallen victim to the numbers game” WHEN have you fallen victim to the numbers game, Toni? WHO WROTE THIS.

I know nxt wants me to give a shit about Ember and Toni, but good luck making me care about anyone down there more than Dakota or Rhea.

I would really appreciate it if Dakota was moved up to the MR without actually showing any dissention from Raquel.

Dakota calls a lot of matches, I’ve noticed. Pro shit.

Toni’s German suplexes are amazing if she’s actually never hurt anyone, cuz MAN they look gnarly af.

Gorgeous tornado ddt by Ember. Nice speed, great handling by Raquel.

Don’t Dakota and Toni have quite the history? From UK?

Today in wrestling commentary: Vic cannot tell the difference between left and right.

Whoa I just noticed Dakota isn’t wearing her knee brace. That’s kind of monumental, right? Isn’t that a big deal? I feel like that’s a big deal.

Honestly I might like Toni more than Ember. She comes off as a lot more likable since her move to nxt.

Oh Christ I gotta see Candice again.

Hi why isn’t this main eventing? Do Rhea fucking Ripley and Io fucking Shirai not deserve it?? For real???

Hate it when refs hold the title up crooked. Noob.

Holy shit Io’s speed is TOP. TIER. Whew.

And then slips on the turnbuckle, sad. Could’ve been worse, could’ve been a Shotzi wipeout (and that’s what I’m gonna call it from now on)

What Io has in speed, Rhea has in strength, these are the facts.

Why did Vic cut Beth off by saying exactly what she was in the middle of saying? Vic’s losing a lot of points tonight tbh.

oof gnarly German suplex off the second rope by Io.

Oh my, Rhea’s ear is covered in blood. Must have punctured her ear with an earring. Rough. I say this as someone who has her fair share of piercings: it BOGGLES MY MIND why any of these women wrestle with their piercings in lmao. No ma’am.

Brutal match, whew.

Rhea wiped her own blood on her face.

There are some aprons spots with Rhea obviously waiting around that needed some work.

Rhea can sell, certainly, but her screaming is way too dramatic at times. Most notably at wm in the empty arena, but this match is a close second. Almost borders on annoying.

Niiice Rhea adding a nice vortex spin on the tail end of her cloverleaf submission. Points. Keep that.

Oh that Riptide attempt countered into an armbar by Io. BEAUTIFUL.

I liked that. Io goes for the 619 in the middle rope, Rhea ducks. Io goes for the 619 on the lower rope, Rhea dodges. Io strikes her a couple times, Rhea falls to the opposite side of the ring and Io proceeds to hit the 619. Good stuff.

Lol Io’s smiling at Rhea kicking out of the missile dropkick.

Nice flip off of Rhea’s clothesline but I’m not a fan of Io landing her moonsault on her feet. That’s not really her M.O.

Fucking spiked Rhea with a ddt by countering the Riptide again. That’s a solid champion, has her opponent completely scouted.

Beautiful sunset flip powerbomb through the ropes with Rhea landing through a table. Would’ve been cool if Rhea had let go right away, though.

In kf, I give points to Rhea for dragging herself from the rubble just to eat a clean pin. Great match.

Highlight: Io vs Rhea

---

NXT UK:

Wow robbing me of KLR’s entrance. Guess Piper is officially the heel.

Quit calling her a “new” Piper Niven. A slight aggression is hardly “new”

BE CAREFUL WITH KLR’S SNAZZY COAT.

Y’all got tape out? Have we learned nothing from Bayley/Sasha hiac?

CHUCKED A FUCKING RING BELL INTO PIPER’S HEAD LMAO

Ugh headbutt that takes everyone out. Tsk.

Ric who? Charlotte’s dad??

Who do I gotta pay to see KLR vs Becky Lynch in an extreme match?!

KLR rolls away after that fisherman buster on the outside. Smart points.

Alright listen I’m on KLR’s side but WHY IS JINNY OUT HERE

Lol smacked Piper with a ‘no entry’ sign. Haha.

And Piper broke a sign over KLR’s head, followed by puns from the commentators.

rip random guitar.

Match doesn’t have any creative spots really, but they sure know how to utilize random objects.

BRO YOU CAN’T TAKE A STEEL PIPE TO HER KNEE ON CONCRETE, THAT’S HELLA RUDE. KLR lit a fire under Piper’s ass and Piper’s trying to retire her as thanks. Super, super rude.

Fuck her up fam, I don’t even feel bad.

??? Did KLR even land through the table or did she just land straight onto the fucking concrete? Jesus Christ man. No, she didn’t, she slid into the second table and just ate the floor. Oh my god. IS SHE OKAY??

Highlight: That vicious ending gained KLR a lot of respect in my eyes

---

Smackdown:

Imagine being surprised that Adam chose the longest reigning SD women’s champion as his team captain. Granted she’s probably despised by everyone, but she’s got the pedigree, come on now.

Look how good Bayley looks. Whew.

“You know what time it is? Bayley time.” she’s so annoying rofl.

Wow riveting stuff, I have zero comments about this 2 min match tbh.

Go stand in the ring with your damn captain, Bianca.

Lmao Bayley allergic to hugs now. Character progression.

It’s quite the team I’m ngl. I just wish we could’ve wrapped up this Sasha/Bayley shit like... months ago so we could enjoy captain Bayley for a bit longer. Gonna burn through this in one damn episode. It’s a bummer.

*Bonus* Nattie’s online exclusive: “I sailed through some rough waters [...] I’m smart, I’m sexy, I’m funny, I’m rich” She is funny, I will give her that.

We’re getting Asuka/Sasha face to face? For real? Okay.

Cute, Sasha’s smile toward Asuka actually looked genuine. I miss when Sasha seemed genuine. It’s like Bayley killed that part of her.

“Michael are you forgetting what time it is?” BAYLEY TI-- “It is boss time, baby!” welp my mistake.

I’ve played Asuka’s dialogue to Sasha 3x and I still have no idea what she was saying because of her ridiculous fucking dancing and animation. I’m tired. Bayley come take her title.

Omg now she’s doing “you can’t see me” SHE ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING I absolutely despise her being champion.

Actually she is ready for Asuka, and I’m gonna take great joy in watching her win this Sunday. Sasha is hella unlikeable until the moment that bell rings, then she’s a god. Is what it is.

Booo Sasha was actually doing good on the mic, how dare you ruin that, Carmella.

Asuka is awful. Even Becky and Ronda fought off common enemies once upon a time. Asuka helps legit N O B O D Y. Awful champion.

Highlight: Captain Bayley

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Survivor Series:

Love Sasha’s gear.

Asuka kicked out at one, quick everyone cry about her selling. Oh wait she’s not Charlotte, my bad.

Beautiful attempt at an armbar by Sasha, whew.

Sasha is so good at this whole wrestling thing lol.

Nice pop up from that backstabber.

Right and in contrast, Asuka is an amazing striker.

Oh a codebreaker to Sasha as she dangles from the second rope. Gorgeous move.

Ahhhh the blue haired god got the job done. I knew she’d win but it’s so gratifying to see.

Not much to say about the match. The spots weren’t brutal or super creative/innovative, but it had GREAT back and forth and really showcased their chemistry in technical wrestling. Also might very well have been the best match they’ve had yet, seemed pretty short though. Still, an enjoyable watch. Good for Sasha.

Lol the disdain in Nia’s face as she looks at Lana.

Look, Bayley’s arm band says ‘captain’ so she’s the captain.

Love seeing how creative people get with their gear at Survivor Series, as opposed to just throwing a damn brand shirt on. Looking at you, 2016.

One thing I’ve learned about Bayley is if she calls you sister, she genuinely likes you behind the scenes. So glad to see Lacey is in her good graces.

Omg Lacey learned how to do a kip up, everybody clap.

Love how the light shines off of Nattie’s gear. Got rainbows popping.

Squatting while stalling a suplex, and synchronized kip ups. Bianca and Nattie are fun.

“Bayley and the great Becky Lynch,” Oh shit, peep that RESPECT we’re putting on her name now? She gets ‘the great’?? wwe finally seeing her on the same level as ‘the great’ Charlotte Flair??? I am shook. Good for her, fucking deserved (also poor Bayley rofl)

Lana tags herself in again lmao. Nia 5 seconds from killing her. Look, Lana tries. Let her try.

I can’t breathe. she been put in timeout.

(referring to a move by Peyton) “I give that a perfect 10“ PPPFFFFTTTT

What a bump by Bayley; a suplex off the top rope onto the entire roster on the outside, and what a great locker room leader to be checking on everyone IMMEDIATELY as if she didn’t just fucking take a massive bump. Also poor Lana standing over there watching the fun lol.

Now I already knew Peyton pinned Bayley cuz of the outrage by Bayley fans who deemed her “buried” afterward, but I think it was a poor decision to have Peyton get that pin. Peyton sucks, not sorry. Have Lacey get that pin before Peyton. Actually, have Lana get that pin before Peyton.

Not sure what Nattie was going for with that submission to Peyton, but she improvised real quick. So points.

Doesn’t Nattie usually wear wrist guards? Awkward seeing her without them.

Goes for a sharpshooter on a woman who’s not even active rn. I’m removing her points lmao.

I legit never get to see Bianca’s 450 splash and you know what? Fuck y’all.

Well Bianca’s a great partner to do a Spanish Fly with so, good on Lacey.

That’s an interesting elimination. Ruby would’ve pinned Shayna as she had rolled back and reversed the Clutch, but the ref was distracted by Nia. By the time he started counting, Ruby had passed out. Interesting.

Crucifix Bomb by Liv eliminates Lacey, fucking dope.

Having Bianca as the last survivor on her team is great for Bianca. This is a compliment from management.

BEAUTIFUL catch by Shayna into the Clutch. Wow that was nice.

Ah we redoing the spot from their Takeover match, IE my introduction to Bianca. Solid.

Oh this is good. Bianca passed out from the Clutch while on the ropes so Shayna was disqualified. Nia drug Bianca out of the ring to put her through the announce table and they started brawling until they were both counted out.

Again, I knew Lana was the sole survivor but seeing it happen is fucking hilarious. Nice protection for Bianca though, and seeing Nia this pissed off is so cathartic.

Highlight: Bianca was the real standout imo

---

*Survivor Series shined the brightest as we had both a great technical match, and a fun, entertaining multiwoman match filled with shenanigans. If that’s a cop out, then I’ll give it to NXT this week.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#bianca belair

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agentsphilinda · 7 years

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Avid ‘Readers’

A/N: OK DON’T BLAME ME BLAME THE NEW PROMO PICS! Post is inspired by this post, including comment by myself and tags by @marcuskaen. also, yes I realize that this scene is actually with LMD May, but suspension of disbelief. somebody prompt me super hot philinda blowjob SMUT AHEAD

“We’re looking for the meeting room, remember? Quit distracting me.” Melinda whispered looking through the stacks of the huge library they had slipped into overnight.

Phil chuckled, mostly ignoring her, his hands squeezing her hips and waist. “Then maybe you should quit being so distracting.” He teased.

She huffed. “You’re cheesy, you know that?” He asked.

He nodded. “You think it’s adorable.” He said.

They were walking through a heavy security library that supposedly held a meeting room for the watchdogs, and intended to place a few mics in there. He’d finally gotten Melinda back after the fiasco with Radcliffe, and having the robot of her made the two of them realize they were done waiting. The rest of the team didn’t know yet, but they’d been together for nearly two weeks, and fucking like rabbits.

Before Melinda, Phil had never truly understood great sex. Sure, it felt good, but he’d never understood why there were people who would pay for it or that relationships ended because of it. Sex was good because it was being close to another person, but it had never been mind-blowingly amazing before.

He wasn’t sure if it was because they’d waited so long or because Melinda was that fantastic, but he was slowly realizing not only how great sex really was but how little he could resist her. At this point, just seeing her ass in tight pants when she stretched could turn him on, and had, after seeing her stretching after Tai Chi early one morning.

She was wearing those tight pants now, and her hips swished back and forth as she strategically placed mics on different shelves. He kept lookout but he highly doubted they would be seen, and really, why should he be looking for attacks when he could be watching her.

“You’re staring again.” She remarked not looking at him. He felt like a cadet again, back at the Academy when his crush had been blatantly obvious.

“Not my fault you’re sexy. Yours. I like this outfit.” He said.

“You said the same thing about my dress on the painting op.” She said turning and wrapping her arms around him pressing close. “I think you just like my clothes.”

He smirked. “Nope. Hate them. Were it up to me you wouldn’t have maybe. Perhaps that purple lace slip.”

She licked her lips and started to nibble at his jaw. “Maybe you should do something about that.”

He let out a moan his hands tightening at her hips. “Here?” He asked.

“I just put down the last bug and until we get back Fitzsimmons won’t turn them on.” She said. “Plus, I always wanted to do this in the Academy library. Close enough.”

He growled and pushed her against one of the shelves bolted to the wall, his hands cradling her back carefully so she didn’t get hurt as he kissed her, hands tugging at the zipper of her jacket. She groaned beneath him as he took control, tugging off her jacket and pulling at her top wanting more access to her.

He could hear her chuckling under his lips. “I thought we went over this.” She said. He felt her suddenly pushing him and easily had him against the stacks in seconds, pinned between her and unable to fight back even if he’d wanted to. “I’m on top.” She hissed in his ear, making him come to full hardness in seconds.

“Yes ma’am.” He panted rubbing against her thigh eagerly. She snickered, shoving off his jacket easily and running one hand over the shirt he wore underneath, her other hand carding carefully through his hair making him whimper.

“Good boy.” She said. He could practically hear her smirk as she pulled off her top, revealing a deep purple bra - she’d discovered early on how much he liked her in purple - and was about to take it off.

“That might not be such a good idea.” He panted. She looked up at him, and he couldn’t help but kiss her forehead as she looked adorable, smaller than him without any kind of heel and looking more vulnerable than most people ever got to see her. “This might need to be fast.”

She smirked and kissed him again. “We can do fast. But I still want your pants off.”

He laughed and undid the top three buttons of his shirt before unbuckling his belt, sliding his pants and boxers to his ankles easily while she got her own off. In her distraction, he was able to spin her around easily, pinning her back up. She glared at him and he kissed the tip of her nose. “I want your legs around me and I don’t think that’ll work with me against the stacks.” He said grinning.

“Fine.” She teased, wrapping a hand delicately around him and stroking.

He threw his head back, eyes shut and was too distracted to notice that she was on her knees until he felt the barest flick of her tongue against his tip, fighting to keep from thrusting his hips too hard. “Fuck.” He panted.

She smirked up at him and he pulled her to her feet, pressing against her thigh as he kissed her. They hadn’t gotten to oral in their explorations yet - well, not for him, but he had practically begged to go down on her the first night they spent together - and he didn’t know the last time anyone had given him that. “That feels fantastic but I’m an old man and that might be better lying down.” He said.

She nipped at his jaw. “You’re not allowed to be old. That would make me old.” She teased. “Besides, you seem to be old enough to do certain things.” She added, guiding him to her entrance.

He moaned and helped to lift her up, pinning her firmly to the shelves with his body as he slid into her. “Fuck, every single time...” He growled. He didn’t even swear that often but with her he couldn’t control himself.

“Every single time?” She asked, only barely arching an eyebrow.

“You feel so good every single time. Like I won’t last.” He panted. She smirked and kissed him hard.

“You feel that good for me too.” She moaned in his ear. “Now fuck me.”

He shivered. “With pleasure.” He said, starting with hard, slow thrusts, liking to build her up. He pressed his lips to her neck, kissing to the spot just beneath her ear that always drove her wild and worrying just enough with his teeth to make her gasp.

He wasn’t able to control the groans falling from his lips as his thrusts picked up, but every one of them was matched with a sigh or gasp or whimper of his name. His robotic hand went between them - it had quickly become their favorite toy in bed. One of his fingertips began to vibrate gently, turning it up slowly as her whines got higher and higher in pitch, letting him know how close she was.

He could feel her about to climax, which was good because he was beginning to grit his teeth in pleasure as he attempted to maintain control. He bit down hard enough to leave a mark, feeling her clenching around him. She pressed a hand over his mouth as he screamed out, thrusting his hips following her seconds later.

They panted together, coming down exhausted. He wished they were in bed now, able to simply fall asleep just like this rather than get up, put back on clothes and get back to the plane. He kissed her lazily, happily, helping her down to the floor. She was so tiny and he loved it.

She leaned up, kissing him one more time before going to put on her clothes. “We should go on more missions like this.”

#philinda #philinda fic #aos fic #it's canon bitches #phil coulson #melinda may #ming na wen #clark gregg #aos #marvel #otp: and she means everything to me

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phoole · 7 years

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OKAY. Okay you guys. You. GUYS. Not safe for prudes for I shall indulge in profanities. This morning I woke up at 1am central US daylight time and was vilely ill until about 7am-ish. I thought, "I should cancel this week's show just in case I don't feel better. I don't have a show next week but that's just going to have to be too bad." I've been sitting around moping the while. Then into my promo basket lands a missive from @pedigreecuts_music and in it is - WHATTT - @alex_skeewiff 's forthcoming magnum opus of Wiffs, being released NEXT FRIDAY, 31 March 2017. It's SKEEWIFF IN WONDERLAND. It's Skeewiff deconstructing Wonderland, as in Alice in. It is going to melt your goddamned skull. Go get all the tea things and put the best butter in your pocketwatch 'coz it is ALWAYS TEATIME HERE BITCHES So it's good. It is really fantastically great. It made me stop gazing into the abyss in Thanatos-glam stupor and it affirmed everything in culture I have ever embraced and devoured. Just listening to the album made me decide I'm doing my show tomorrow even if I have to do it whilst bundled up in a chair sipping ginger tea and moaning. If I'm allowed to tease any of the tunes on air I will. I will play SOME Skeewiff tomorrow night regardless. But you will buy this album on Friday when it comes out. It is antidote for the world right now. It is a rabbit hole out of the stupid violent world of ego-jockeying and bullying and hatred. You need. Out next Friday! GET!

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ecoorganic · 4 years

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'Ted Lasso' and the Journey From Viral Promo to TV Series

Jason Sudeikis reprises his role as a befuddled coach in England, with his viral NBC promos evolving into a full-on TV show. He explains the story of how it happened.

There’s a scene in Ted Lasso, where the title character–Jason Sudeikis’s American football coach who abruptly turns into a Premier League manager–sprints to the assistant referee in the middle of a crucial match after raising his flag for an offside call.

“Come on, now! What do you mean? How’s that offside?” complains Lasso, with his characteristic Kansan drawl as the linesman looks at him with confusion.

“What?” asks the official.

Lasso gets closer. “No, I’m serious. How’s that offside...I don’t understand it yet.”

This lack of complete understanding and across-the-pond confusion is one way to describe the essence of Apple TV+’s latest sitcom, which originated from a 2013 NBC Sports promo. That's where Sudeikis introduced his character as part of the network’s acquisition of the Premier League broadcast rights.

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The idea was simple. Lasso, an intense, wide-eyed college football coach from Kansas City arrives in London and enters the alien world of the Premier League. In the promos, he takes over Tottenham (the following season,

he returns as head coach of youth girls' team St. Catherine Fighting Owls), questioning why players don’t wear more pads and teaching the art of flopping. He has no knowledge of the game or its cultural and historical significance. It was a satiric outlook at two different worlds seen through the eyes of a naïve American, and for NBC, it was a way to both attract a loyal, knowledgeable soccer fan as well as appeal to a new audience.

In the end, it worked, as both promos (2013 and 2014) went viral and gained a tremendous amount of attention. Combined, the videos have generated more than 20 million views on YouTube and helped the network build a strong foundation for its Premier League audience.

It’s been six years since those promos aired, and soccer in the U.S.–without Ted Lasso–has grown tremendously in popularity. So how was the character revived?

“I guess it’s a dozen little things that go right that you’re willing and ready to receive,” Sudeikis told Sports Illustrated. “After doing the second video (in 2014), it really unlocked elements of the character that we found very, very fun to write and portray and view the world through. So, one day in 2015, my partner Olivia (the actress and filmmaker Olivia Wilde) came up to me one day and said, ‘You know, you should do Ted Lasso as a show,’ and I said, ‘I don’t know,’ but then after marinating on it, I thought maybe this could happen.”

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In spring of the same year, Sudeikis got together with his creative partners and writers, Joe Kelly and Brendan Hunt–the three of them started together with Chicago’s well-known improv group The Second City and Amsterdam’s Boom Chicago; Hunt also plays Lasso’s assistant coach and confidante Coach Beard–and powered through for a week to see if they could create a show out of it.

“When you have a germ of an idea, you don’t know if it’s something you say out loud or if it’s a tweet or a letter or a screenplay, who knows," Sudeikis said. "So, we sat down, and we were able to bang out a pilot pretty quick in that week. As well as outlining six to 10 episodes of the first season. And that let us know, ‘O.K., there’s something here.’”

Despite the excitement for the idea, that’s all it was at that moment–an idea without a home. So, life continued, and the three friends left Ted Lasso alone for a few years and diverted their focus to their respective careers.

“But that allowed us to get a little space from it, and low and behold, the showbiz gods looked and smiled down on us and brought Bill to our doorstep,” Sudeikis said.

"Bill" is Bill Lawrence, the experienced television writer, producer and creative force behind award-winning shows such as Scrubs, Cougar Town and Spin City. Lawrence entered the frame in 2017 when he and Sudeikis played pickup basketball a couple of nights a week and one night, the idea of Ted Lasso came up. After a few more chats, he read the script and the concept and was immediately interested.

“I wanted to work with Jason Sudeikis, he just cracks me up. I thought he was awesome on SNL, whenever he shows up in a movie, I’m immediately into it and he seems like that dude you want to hang with,” Lawrence said. “I’d also seen those sketches, the promotional videos for the Premier League back when he did them and I thought they were so funny, and he said, 'What if we made that character three-dimensional and really rounded him out?' Ted Lasso can still be goofy and funny, but we could also have our version.”

And this was critical for Sudeikis. In the commercials, Lasso’s unawareness is funny and often endearing, but for a show, there had be more to him for the audience to not just laugh, but also root for him.

“I think Scrubs is a fantastic show. You can put the 10 best episodes of it up against any show,” Sudeikis said. “Bill writes male characters and relationships so beautifully, his use of music and dealing with heavy duty issues of life and death. And now, two years later, here we are talking about it. It’s actually really gonna happen and I can’t kind of believe it.”

Not only is the show happening (it premieres this Friday), but it also succeeds in its mission. Ted Lasso is warm, it’s funny and–like the main character–it has heart. Unlike the commercials, where Ted’s biggest trait is his buffoonery, the show celebrates his relentless thirst for hope. He is a man with passion, dignity and someone you for whom you cheer. Lasso is the eternal optimist, whose naivety is both a strength and a weakness, and just like J.D from Scrubs, Lasso is vulnerable (in the show, he actually leaves the U.S. to escape from a troubled marriage) and aches for comfort. That’s what he offers his new team in return–an arrogant, underachieving Premier League side controlled by a scorned owner. It’s not Tottenham this time around, but the fictional AFC Richmond.

Lawrence sees Lasso as the perfect example of the inspiring teacher. A sports version of Robin Williams's John Keating from Dead Poets Society, where his personality is a weapon against cynical reporters and resentful fans who naturally express their disgust at the thought of an American with no knowledge of the game taking over their beloved club.

“We all grew up with a favorite teacher or a favorite coach. They put us on a path. These people never force you into doing anything. It’s just good folks,” Lawrence said. “Me and Jason overlap cause we also like doing shows with heart and because it’s such a dumpster-fire time in the world, Jason really wanted to do a show that was hopeful and optimistic, and most sports movies have that. That’s what's at their core. It’s the underdog. We were trying to capture that optimism and hopefulness that comes with those iconic figures from your life, whether it’s a coach, a teacher or a parent.”

If there's a coach in the real Premier League that emits optimism and hopefulness, it's Liverpool's Jurgen Klopp, and Sudeikis admits that Lasso's character in the show is partly inspired by him.

“Man. When I heard about him taking his squad to go do karaoke, I was like, ‘hellooooo, story idea…’” said Sudeikis, who also admires Pep Guardiola. “I really love those coaches. I really like the way they handle themselves as leaders of an organization. They are guys who I would follow into a fist fight.”

Sudeikis loves the game but fully admits he still needs to do more before calling himself a hardcore, scholarly fan.

"I love the sport. My joke has been that I have a deep appreciation for it but a shallow understanding. But that’s why I keep company with Brendan and Joe, who know their stuff,” Sudeikis said. “But it’s still all new to me. Every time I go to see a match, I buy a kit for me at the gift shop and a kit for my little boy. I’m ready to be a fair-weather fan for whoever needs it [laughs]. I know people hate for me that, but that’s the truth.”

The showrunners put together a cast with colorful characters who add depth to the multiple plots. There’s the tough-as-nails veteran midfielder Roy Kent (surely inspired by Roy Keane and played by Brett Goldstein), the narcissistic Man City loanee Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster), the charismatic duo of Dani Rojas (Mexican star played by Cristo Fernandez) and Nigerian forward Sam Obisanya (Toheeb Jimoh). Nick Mohammed (who can be seen in Sky TV/Peacock’s Intelligence) also shines as the quiet kitman. It’s also refreshing to hear NBC’s Arlo White serving as the show’s commentator throughout AFC Richmond’s season.

But if there’s someone aside from Sudeikis's Lasso who steals the show, it’s Keeley Jones, the confident and no-nonsense TV celebrity/model/PR guru played by Juno Temple. She was the only actor who didn’t audition, as Sudeikis, who knew her work, wanted her in the show from the get-go.

“I met Juno with Olivia when they were on Vinyl (Mick Jagger and Martin Scorsese’s 2016 HBO show), so I’ve done karaoke with her. I’ve been in a room with her. I knew her,” Sudeikis said. “She’s so fun and dynamic and just pro-female. She’s just a kick-ass that lives with an excitement that’s fun to be around, and that’s a little bit of what the character had.”

In the end, Ted Lasso is exactly what an audience needs right now. It’s a story that makes you laugh and reminds you to smile at adversity. It’s a lesson that’s less about football management and more about unity, and the script works because it takes a hold of our differences and embraces them as one. And it echoes Lasso’s favorite Walt Whitman quote, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

Lasso is heroic, not because he commands respect but because he earns it. He is kind, because he doesn’t know any other way. But like us, he is also vulnerable, and that’s why we can relate to his journey.

“He’s more white rabbit than white knight, but he’s actually becoming the change he wants to see in the world, without any agenda,” Sudeikis said. “And these days, that’s unusual, both in real life and on television.”

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placetobenation · 4 years

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SmackDown on Fox Episode #16 SmackDown Episode # 1,065 Greensboro, NC – Greensboro Coliseum 1/17/20 We get our opening video and pyro and then the announcers hype the matches we are going to see tonight. Kane comes to the ring and it’s clear that he hasn’t turned down many meals since we last saw him as he has now has a quite a gut on him. Kane talks about his history in the Royal Rumble and how important it is to win it. Bray Wyatt shows up on the video screen he first informs us that Ramblin’ Rabbit and the camera pans over to Ramblin’ all bandaged up and has an IV in him that is filling him with carrot juice. Wyatt calls Kane a bully and says that neither he nor The Fiend would forget Kane. The lights go off and when they come back on Kane is outside the ring while The Fiend pops up behind him from a hole in the ring, but before anything can happen Bryan appears and hits the running knee on The Fiend and then starts punching him only for The Fiend to go back down in the hole he made in the ring and when Bryan reaches into the hole he pulls out a handful of The Fiend’s dreadlocks. Bryan and Kane do the Yes Chants as we go to commercial. We come back from commercial to Kayla Braxton interviewing Bryan where Bryan cuts a passionate promo on The Fiend and how he is tired of The Fiend running when he gets the best of him, so at Rumble he is going to make sure that doesn’t happen as their match will now be a strap match. Bryan says he understands the danger but he is tired of the mind games from The Fiend and he says The Fiend changed him but at Rumble he is going to change The Fiend and win the Universal Championship. I was not a fan of the opening segment for several reasons, first off I don’t need to see Kane back in the ring or even teasing a match especially in the shape he is currently in. I don’t know why we need a Kane vs Bray match every few years as none of them have been any good, but I could definitely see that being a match on the next Saudi show in February. I’m so over the entering the ring through a hole in the mat as it is so overdone and hasn’t felt special in over ten years. I did like the promo Bryan cut. out of all the gimmick matches I definitely wouldn’t have expected them to be in a strap match. It’s a toss up of whether this or a Baron Corbin promo would be the worst way to open an episode of SmackDown. Match #1: Big E w/ Kofi Kingston vs John Morrison w/ The Miz As Big E comes to the ring we see that Kingston has blonde dreads. We don’t even get a lock up as Morrison starts the match with some lunging forearm smashes and then sends Big E into the ropes, but he reverses and hits Morrison with a shoulder block. Morrison gets to his feet and then delivers a series of kicks on Big E. Morrison hits Big E with some mounted forearm shots and then hits a neckbreaker that sends Big E crashing from the ring apron down to the floor as we go to commercial. As we come back from break Morrison has Big E grounded with a one armed straight jacket. Big E gets to his feet and throws Morrison across the ring, but Morrison lands on his feet and then hits Big E with a running calf kick. Morrison hits the standing shooting star press, but only gets a 2 count when Big E sits up and then uses his power roll back and get to his feet all while still holding onto Morrison. Big E attempts a slam, but Morrison slides out the back and sends Big E into the corner. Big E charges at Morrison in the opposite corner, but Morrison dodges by going to the apron and then slides under the legs of Big E and right back out to the apron where he delivers a kick to the head of Big E. Morrison tries for a springboard but Big E moves and Morrison rolls through and runs right into a couple of belly to belly suplexes and then Big E attempts a side belly to belly but Morrison pokes him in the eye. Big E backdrops Morrison who ends up landing on his face. Big E hits Morrison with the big splash and signals for the Big Ending, but Morrison elbows Big E in the back of the head and then hits the Moonlight Drive for a 2 count. The Miz gets up on the apron but Kingston pulls him down and as they have words on the outside Morrison hits a side flip dive to the outside onto Kingston. Morrison gloats while on the apron and this gets the attention of Big E who goes for his spear through the ropes, but before he could Miz pushes Morrison out of the way. Morrison hits Big E with another kick to the head. Morrison hits a running knee to a seated Big E and then hits the Starship Pain which finishes Big E off. Winner: John Morrison via Pinfall Match Rating: **3/4 This was a near perfect return match for the “Shaman of Sexy” and the only thing that kept it from being perfect was the fact that the Starship Pain barely hit Big E. I really feel like Morrison should go back to using the Moonlight Drive as his finisher or perhaps get a whole new finisher to make his return to WWE even more special. After the match the announcers tells us that in tonight’s main event if Roman Reigns wins he gets to pick the stipulation for his match against Corbin at Royal Rumble, but if Roode wins Corbin gets to pick the stipulation. We get a backstage promo with Roman Reigns and The Usos where they talk about their respective matches tonight and The Usos try to get Reigns to reveal what the stipulation will be if he wins tonight, but Reigns says they will find out when everyone else does as we go to commercial. Match #2: The Usos vs The Revival Dawson and Jimmy start the match with a lock up and Dawson shoves Jimmy in the corner and then we get a drop down and leap frog spot that ends with Dawson receiving a big chop to the chest. Dawson reverses an Irish whip into the corner, but Jimmy is able to stop himself before hitting the turnbuckle and then hits an uppercut on Dawson. Jey is tagged in and we get a double team move where Dawson gets hit with a flying forearm in the corner. Jey tries to work on the arm but Dawson pulls his air in order to get him to back up so that Wilder can make a blind tag. Jey gets a hit in on Wilder, but Dawson hits Jey with a slingshot suplex and then Wilder slingshots over the top rope with a body press that gets a 2 count. The Revival work over Jey in their corner and Wilder tags in Dawson. Dawson lifts Jey up by his beard and then delivers an elbow to the top of his head. Dawson then quickly hits a series of moves before going for a cover which only gets him a 2 count. Dawson pulls on Jey’s beard some more before locking in a chin lock. Jey gets to his feet and throws Dawson off of him, but Dawson comes back and tries for a suplex only for Jey to get out of it and then hit Dawson with an enziguri. We get tags on both ends and Jimmy comes in with clotheslines and then hits Wilder with a right hand followed by a Samoan drop. Jimmy goes for the running hip smash in the corner, but Wilder gets to his feet in time and backdrops Jimmy out to the apron only for Jimmy to come off the top with a crossbody for a 2 count. Jimmy goes for a superkick, but Wilder counters only for Jimmy to attempt an O’Connor roll, but Dawson gets on the apron and grabs Wilder so he won’t go back into a pin position. Dawson catches Jimmy’s leg on a superkick attempt which allows Wilder to hook him in a small package, but Jimmy kicks out. Wilder attempts a tornado DDT, but as he does Jey makes a blind tag and also Jimmy throws Wilder off of him. The Usos hit both members of The Revival with superkicks and then Jimmy tags Jey in and he hits Wilder with the Uso splash to pick up the win. Winners: The Usos via Pinfall Match Rating: *** This was a nice little taste of how great these two teams are and if given more time they could blow the roof off any arena they are in. Not much to say on this match other than it was really good. We come back from commercial with The Revival looking dejected after losing again. Kayla Braxton comes up and interviews them and they talk about how frustrated they are and how bad the tag division in general is treated, all of a sudden we hear some loud screams and we see that Lacey Evans has gotten into a brawl with Bayley & Sasha Banks which has to be broken up by officials, we also see that it seems like Sasha messed up her ankle during the brawl. We get a recap of what happened last week when Otis helped Mandy win her match against Alexa Bliss. Sonya Deville is backstage getting ready for her match when Mandy walks up and is hyping up how this is going to be the year of Fire & Desire. Sonya asks Mandy if she could ask Otis to be in her corner tonight, Mandy is confused and asks why Sonya needs Otis when she will be in her corner. Sonya says she was confused about the whole Otis thing at first but she gets it now. Mandy is still confused but says she will ask him but she doesn’t know if he will say yes, but Sonya says that if Mandy asks she is sure Otis will say OK. For a second here I was thinking they were making Sonya straight and that she had a crush on Otis, but thankfully I was wrong and she just wanted him out there to help her win her match like he did for Mandy last week. We go over to the trainers room where Sasha and Bayley are pissed about what just happened with Lacey and Sasha says Lacey doesn’t deserve to face her while Bayley says she will break every bone in Lacey’s body the next time she sees her. Adam Pearce enters the room and tells them that they have promoted this match for two weeks and the match is happening tonight, except Bayley will take Sasha’s place and when Bayley complains Pearce reminds her that she just said she would break every bone in Lacey’s body and then Pearce tells her the match is next. Match #3: Bayley vs Lacey Evans Bayley slides out of the ring right when the bell rings and Lacey chases after her which ends up being the wrong move as Bayley is able to take advantage of Lacey sliding in the ring after her. Bayley puts the boots to Lacey and then hits her with a few forearm shots. Bayley sends Lacey into the corner, but she comes right back out with a clothesline on Bayley followed by a flying head scissors that takes Bayley out of the ring. Lacey hits a baseball slide on Bayley before throwing her back into the ring. When Lacey gets back up on the apron Bayley tries to hit her with a shoulder to the gut, but Lacey moves and kicks Bayley in the chest. Lacey jumps over Bayley into the ring and rolls her up with a school boy for a 2 count. Bayley takes Lacey down with a single leg take down and then tries to pin Lacey with her foot on the ropes for leverage, but the referee sees it and stops his count. Lacey charges toward Bayley, but Bayley grabs her and pulls her down throat first across the middle rope. Bayley hits some nice forearms on Lacey and then grounds her with an armbar. Lacey eventually gets to her feet and fights out of Bayley’s grasp only to run to the ropes and be taken right back down with a back elbow for a 2 count. Bayley then jumps on Lacey’s back a couple of times and then gets rolled up out of nowhere for a 2 count. Bayley sends Lacey out to the apron and tries for the Twist of Fate across the middle rope, but Lacey pushes away and then slams Bayley’s head into the turnbuckle. Lacey is still on the apron and uses her long legs to kick Bayley who is in the corner. Lacey jumps over the top rope and delivers some clotheslines on Bayley and then biels her across the ring. Lacey hits a big running kick followed by the rope assisted elevated bronco buster. Lacey goes for the moonsault, but Bayley gets her knees up and this sends Lacey out of the ring to catch her breath. Bayley goes out and hits Lacey with a big running knee into the barricade as we go to commercial. Bayley is in full control as we come back to the action as she is stomping a mudhole into Lacey’s chest and then picks her up to hit some shoulder attacks. Bayley rolls back and goes for her running back elbow in the corner, but as she charges in Lacey catches her with a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle. Lacey goes for another bronco buster, but Bayley rolls out of the ring and grabs Lacey’s leg but Lacey kicks her away. Lacey goes out and throws Bayley back in and as she goes to get back in Bayley successfully hits the middle rope Twist of Fate and goes for a cover but it only gets her a 2 count. Bayley hits a Saito suplex but once again Lacey kicks out at 2. Bayley sends Lacey into the corner and hits the running back elbow followed by a flying back elbow off the middle rope for yet another 2 count. Bayley goes up top and tries for a crossbody, but Lacey moves and sends Bayley crashing down to the mat. Lacey charges at Bayley in the corner only to get flap jacked across the top turnbuckle, Bayley runs off the ropes and when she comes back Lacey decks her with a sweet Women’s Right that is enough to finish Bayley off. Winner: Lacey Evans via Pinfall Match Rating: **1/2 I enjoyed everything about the women’s title picture on this episode, I thought the brawl was really good and although I still have a problem with the backward booking of Lacey having to go through the champion first in order to get to Sasha instead of the other way around I do think Sasha is playing a perfect heel as the way she refused to wrestle Lacey kinda pissed me off for all the right reasons. I love they used Adam Pearce as an unofficial authority figure who played it straight and didn’t put up with any BS, I especially loved how he stopped Bayley’s whining by using what she just said about Lacey against her. I though the match was really good and to see how far Lacey has come in a year is amazing as I re-watched the 2019 Rumble where nothing she did in that match looked good to today where she put on a good match against the Women’s Champion. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her win the title from Bayley and that sets up Sasha vs Lacey for WrestleMania. After the match we go backstage where we have a new backstage interviewer who interviews Shorty G about Sheamus hitting him with a Brogue Kick a couple of weeks ago. Shorty says Sheamus is projecting his own insecurities on to him and he’s not going to fall for Sheamus’s mind games. Sheamus walks up and does the where is Shorty joke when he is standing right next to him. Sheamus tries to intimidate Shorty, but Shorty double legs him and starts wailing away with punches until they are broken up, this would piss off Sheamus who flips over a table as we go to break. I liked this segment just for the reason that for the first time Shorty didn’t just sit there and listen to someone crack jokes at his expense as he showed that a short guy can still kick Sheamus’s big Irish ass. Back from break and we get an interview with Braun Strowman who says he will be in the Rumble match, but before that he wants an Intercontinental Title match with Shinsuke Nakamura and says he has already pinned Nakamura twice so he deserves it. We cut to the ring where Elias goes to sing a song about Greensboro until he is cut off by Sami Zayn, Shinsuke Nakamura, & Cesaro. Zayn says Nakamura doesn’t back down from a challenge but rejects Strowman’s request for a title match. Zayn says he calls the shots and says nothing will be happening with the Rumble only nine days away. Zayn tells Elias he can pick back up where he left off, but Elias says he has written a new song called “Sami Zayn Needs To Shut His Damn Mouth!” this gets under Zayn’s skin and he sends Cesaro down to deal with Elias. Elias gets some shots in on Cesaro before Nakamura and Zayn come in and all three men beat down Elias, that is until Braun Strowman comes out and cleans house by throwing the heels over the top because we have to be reminded multiple times each year how the Royal Rumble works. Nothing to say about this segment as it was what it was. We are shown a tribute video to the late Rocky Johnson who passed away on Thursday. Match #4: Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville & Heavy Machinery vs Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross Mandy gets on the apron at the start of the match and as Alexa goes to hit her she jumps down and as Alexa turns around to face Sonya she gets hit with a kick and then Sonya hits a series of knee strikes followed by a running knee for a 2 count. Sonya locks a reverse chin lock in on Alexa and rag dolls her around. Alexa is able to get to her feet and elbow out of Sonya’s grasp, Sonya charges at Alexa but gets taken down with a drop toe hold and then Alexa blocks a punch and hits Sonya with a slap followed by a right hand and then a dropkick. Alexa stomps a mudhole into Sonya and then goes for the DDT, but Mandy gets up on the turnbuckle only to get knocked off by Nikki, thankfully though Otis is there to catch his beloved peach and Mandy actually smiles at him. The distraction by Mandy and Otis allows Alexa to roll Sonya up and get the win. Winner: Alexa Bliss via Pinfall Match Rating: *½ This was fun for what it was which was the advance the Mandy, Sonya, & Otis story. I really am curious what this leads to with Mandy and Otis as I could see it going a few different ways, but one thing’s for sure I’m definitely interested. We are told that Sheamus vs Shorty G and Bayley vs Lacey Evans for the SmackDown Women’s Championship have been added to the Royal Rumble card and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Sheamus vs Shorty G match ends up on the pre-show. We go to the back where Corbin, Ziggler, and Roode talk about the tables match and Corbin says he will pick a stipulation that will humiliate Reigns and take him out of the Rumble. We go to break and we come back it’s main event time. Match #5: Roman Reigns vs Robert Roode (Tables Match) Roode jumps Reigns from behind as he makes his way to the ring and then puts the boots to him at ringside. Roode throws Reigns into the ring, but Reigns comes back with a couple of uppercuts and a jumping clothesline. Reigns goes over to pick up Roode, but Roode grabs him by the waist and throws him out of the ring. Roode reaches out to grab Reigns, but receives a big uppercut that Roode does a great sell for as he falls out of the ring. Reigns tries to set up a table at ringside, but before he can Roode goes back on the attack and sends Reigns face-first into the steps. Roode tries to send Reigns into the steps again, but Reigns blocks and sends Roode face-first into the steps. Reigns clears the announce table but before he can do anything Roode rakes his eyes and then whips him into the steel steps. Roode grabs a table from under the ring and slides it into the ring, but before he can get in the ring to set it up he is hit by the Drive By from Reigns. Reigns runs around the ring looking to Spear Roode through the barricade, but Roode sees it coming and moves out of the way sending Reigns crashing through the barricade, with Reigns down, this is the perfect time for King Corbin to come out to the ring on his sedan as we go to commercial. As we come back Roode has Reigns up top and a table set up in the ring, Roode tries for a superplex but Reigns fights him off and then tries to for a powerbomb, but Roode fights out of it. Roode then tries for a suplex, but Reigns blocks and tries for a Samoan drop only to get elbowed in the head repeatedly. Roode knocks over the table as he doesn’t want to risk getting put through it again. Reigns sends Roode shoulder first into the ring post as King Corbin looks on from the ramp. Reigns sets up a table in the corner and then hits Roode with a Superman Punch on the outside. Reigns sends Roode back into the ring and then looks to Spear him through the table in the corner, but right as Roode gets to his feet Corbin runs up onto the apron and this distraction is enough to allow Ziggler to run in and when Reigns turns around he gets hit with a superkick. Ziggler and Corbin put Reigns on the announce table and it looks like Roode is going to come off the top and drive Reigns through the table, but The Usos run down and when Roode tries to dive off the top onto them in the ring he is hit with a double superkick. The Usos then hit superkicks on both Corbin and Ziggler and then hits the Uso Crazy on both of them. The Usos then put Ziggler on the announce table and they both get on the barricade and drive Ziggler through it with a double Uso Splash, back in the ring Reigns hits a Spear on Roode through the table which gives him the win and the right to pick the stipulation for Royal Rumble. Winner: Roman Reigns via Spear through Table Match Rating: *** After the match Reigns says that since the Royal Rumble is being held in a baseball stadium there are going to be tons of places where he can kick Corbin’s ass as their match will be Falls Count Anywhere and we close the show with Reigns and The Usos staring down Corbin, Roode, & Ziggler. This was a better match than I expected it to be as I’m not the biggest fan of one-on-one tables matches as they always feel very anticlimactic to me. As I said in the match recap I loved the sell by Roode of one of those uppercuts from Reigns as he just falls out of the ring, it was something small but it made me lol a bit. I think a falls count anywhere match is the best way to get the most out of another Reigns vs Corbin match as these two need a lot of smoke and mirrors in order to have a match worth getting interested in especially on a card where there are plenty of other matches that the fans are more interested in seeing. Outside of the opening segment which I didn’t care for this was a good episode of SmackDown that did a lot to build up the Royal Rumble card as we got two new matches as well as stipulations added to two matches. I thought the women’s title feud segments with Lacey, Bayley, and Sasha was the best thing on this episode. It’s interesting that we only have one week of TV left and there have only been four women confirmed for their Rumble match, but the least we know the better because Rumble matches are always fun because they are full of surprises. That’s all for this week I’ll be back next week with the go home show to my favorite PPV of the year the Royal Rumble.

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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dorothydelgadillo · 5 years

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"A Master Class in Instagram Marketing Ft. Rev Ciancio" (Inbound Success Ep. 85)

What are the best practices for using Instagram to market your business or brand?

Rev Ciancio

This week on The Inbound Success Podcast, author and Instagram marketing expert Rev Ciancio pulls back the curtain on how he's built up almost 80,000 followers on Instagram and breaks down exactly what marketers need to know to master Instagram marketing for their own businesses.

Rev covers both the high-level strategy that will help you win at Instagram, as well as the nitty-gritty tactical details you'll need to know to look like an Insta pro.

This week's episode of The Inbound Success Podcast is brought to you by our sponsor, IMPACT Live, the most immersive and high energy learning experience for marketers and business leaders. IMPACT Live takes place August 6-7, 2019 in Hartford Connecticut and is headlined by Marcus Sheridan along with special guests including world-renowned Facebook marketing expert Mari Smith and Drift CEO and Co-Founder David Cancel. Inbound Success Podcast listeners can save 10% off the price of tickets with the code "SUCCESS".

Click here to learn more or purchase tickets for IMPACT Live

Some highlights from my conversation with Rev include:

Rev is a food blogger and Instagram influencer focused on the restaurant and hospitality business.

He has taken a very intentional approach to what he posts on Instagram and specifically shares things related to his passion for food and how to market restaurant and hospitality businesses on the platform.

Rev says there are really only two reasons that a business should be on Instagram. Either a portion of their target audience is already there, or they have the ability to build an audience where nobody else is.

Instagram is a very visual platform, so if you can't express either the values of your company, or the solutions your service or product provides, or you can't speak to your audience through a visual medium, it's the wrong social network to be on.

It's a particularly good platform for conveying corporate culture through photos of employees, office environments, team outings, etc.

Instagram has both very casual users who just look at photos and videos but don't read captions, and intense users who go deep on a topic. Rev says to design your Instagram presence for the intense user by sharing striking images and videos, and then going deeper in your captions.

Because Instagram only shows a limited amount of text from the captions before making you click to read more, when you're crafting the message to your Instagram post, think about what's going to happen in the first six or seven words that's going to make somebody want to tap more to see what else you wrote.

Photo quality is critical on Instagram and apps like Snapseed make it very easy for even a layperson to create professional looking photos very quickly.

Consistency is also very important, so Rev says to determine how often you will post and then stick with that scheduled to develop a habit amongst your audience.

One way to get discovered by new audiences on Instagram is hashtags. The platform allows you to use up to 30 hashtags, and Rev suggests taking a "content mix" approach by combining some more popular and widely used hashtags with some more niche terms to find your audience.

There is a debate going on right now about whether it's better to post hashtags in the caption to the post or in a comment. Rev is testing both approaches right now and suggests that others do the same.

Instagram doesn't allow you to use hard line breaks when posting captions, and will actually remove hard line breaks when they are put in. Rev suggests using a third party tool such as a notes app to create captions and insert a period in between paragraphs to get around this. Doing so makes caption text easier to read and also lengthens the amount of time your audience interacts with your post, which Instagram's algorithm really likes.

To make it easier to format and schedule out Instagram posts, Rev uses Later, a third party software tool.

Photos and videos posted to the Instagram feed are a great way to capture a moment in time, whereas Instagram Stories are more effective at digging deeper into a topic and weaving together a narrative.

If you're posting a large volume of content to Instagram and one of your goals is to get people to visit your website, or click through on something, then putting a link in your bio can be a great way to accomplish this.

Resources from this episode:

Save 10% off the price of tickets to IMPACT Live with promo code "SUCCESS"

Follow Rev on Instagram

Connect with Rev on LinkedIn

Follow Rev on Twitter

Check out Rev's website

Listen to the podcast to hear how Rev approaches Instagram marketing and learn how to apply those lessons to your business Instagram strategy.

Transcript

Kathleen Booth (Host): Welcome back to the Inbound Success Podcast. I'm Kathleen Booth and I'm your host. And my guest this week is Rev Ciancio, who is a hospitality and digital marketing consultant. Welcome Rev. Rev Ciancio (Guest): Hi, thanks for having me.

Rev and Kathleen recording this episode

Kathleen: I'm happy to have you here, especially because we're going to talk about something that we haven't talked about yet on this podcast.

But before we get to that, you have a really interesting background. What you're involved in now is really interesting and kind of different from some of the other guests I've had on.

Tell my audience a little bit more about yourself and your connection to delicious looking food.

About Rev Ciancio

Rev: So I used to be in the music business, and I owned an independent agency that did marketing promotion on behalf of record labels and publishers. I got this in my head one day that working for a small amount of time on a band, or an album was fun, but I really wanted to get in deep with bands, and I become an artist manager. So I was managing rock bands and touring the world and all that fun stuff.

What I sort of learned over time in that business is that the majority of band members who pick up an instrument don't do it to start a business, they do it because they want to play guitar, or they want to sing a song.

I found that over time, my ability to teach people in that industry to think about business first, or think about business as much as they do their creative aspects, just wasn't providing the results I'd hoped it was. And I was like, "Well, I bet I can apply these same principles to food and to restaurant marketing."

So I made a leap from doing independent marketing and consulting for basically rock bands, to chefs and restaurants. You'd be amazed at how similar those two things are.

Kathleen: I feel like the same thing could said about doctors. Don't they always say doctors make the worst business managers?

Rev: Probably, but I feel like the art of health is less art and more science. So you'd be surprised the similarities in rock and roll, and in food and hospitality. But I kind of quickly learned that you can't download a hamburger, and that if you have a favorite restaurant you might eat there again as opposed to you're not going to buy an album twice unless you're converting from album to CD, or whatever digital.

Anyway, I started to apply the principles I had learned in the music business in marketing, branding and promoting bands to restaurants and food and it worked.

So that was it, I was done. I was done with the music business and from that point forward I sort of focused on hospitality marketing in the forms of local search, social media, menu management that kind of stuff. I actually went and even owned a bar for awhile.

So, not only have I consulted, not only do I like eating, but I've actually been in the trenches and run a bar and restaurant.

The most important lesson I learned in owning a bar and restaurant is that I'm really bad at running a bar and restaurant. But I'm pretty good at the marketing and branding piece. So, I sort of got out of owning and just focused the rest of my career on helping location-based businesses, primarily restaurants, to be successful with digital marketing, and digital marketing tools.

Kathleen: You've spent some time also at Yext, correct?

Rev: I was there for two years, yep.

Kathleen: They're a big player in the local marketing space as well. I've actually had the CMO of Yext on the podcast talking about local search and SEO and optimization. So, it's an interesting background, a mix of things that you have from working at the smaller level with those local businesses to working in a larger SaaS company that's aiming to help those kinds of companies at scale.

Then, one of the things I found really interesting about you, and that was kind of a fun side rabbit hole that I went down, was your Instagram. Warning to anyone listening. Do not look at Rev's Instagram if you're hungry. It's kind of like going grocery shopping when you're hungry. It's really dangerous.

But you have this really interesting Instagram that's attracted quite a following. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Rev on Instagram

Rev: Sure. Well, first of all I don't make any apologies for causing hunger pains. So, no apologies happening there. If you happen to go look at my Instagram screen name, which is just my name Rev Ciancio, I post what a lot of people call food porn.

So, I used to write a lot of content when I was in college and whatever about the music business, about music. Then I got in the music business and I didn't want to have my passion and my job sort of be the same. So, when I started in the music business I still wanted to write, so I started writing about food.

Back in like it must have been in '99, 2000 food blogs weren't really a thing. So my first real food blog was in 2003 and I've just sort of kept creating content since then whether it was a blog or Pinterest, or Snapchat or whatever.

Instagram, I've been on since 2006 so quite a while. But, that I think is the first social network that really lended itself towards the visual nature of food in terms of it being appealing and looking. I really think only in maybe the last three or four years has that channel really become what it's become in terms of growth, and influencer marketing as it appeals to food.

So, how did I get there? Well, I used to treat my Instagram just like everybody else. Pictures of my daily life, and shaking my fist at an angry bus. Or, here's a really poorly lit picture of a salad. You know, just a snap shot of my life.

I made a decision that if I was not only going to lead digital marketing for other businesses, but if I wanted to sort of attract a bigger audience, then I needed to practice what I preach.

So I was like, "Well, I'm not going to look at Instagram as being a yearbook, or a photobook of my life. I'm going to use this to prove that I am who I say I am to reach a broader audience." Then actually be able to use it to learn so that I could transfer that knowledge to my clients.

So, all those great looking photos you see up there were intentional. I decided what was my reason for being on there, what theme did I want to have, why did I want people to follow me. So there's a lot of thought and a lot of curation into sloppy looking cheeseburgers is what I'm trying to tell you.

Kathleen: I mean, the food is insane. I am now deeply regretting the healthy kale salad I chose to have for lunch right before I did this podcast interview. I'm looking at the pizza, the burgers, all of it. It all is everything that I would eat if I had no limitations.

Rev: Well, then it's doing its job. It got your attention.

Kathleen: Yes. It did.

Now, this is exactly why I was interested in talking with you because I really haven't had anybody come on the podcast yet, and I think I'm at about 80 episodes, and talk about Instagram. I talk to a lot of B2B marketers. Certainly B2C as well, but I think particularly in the B2B world, everybody feels like they need to be on Instagram, but nobody can quite figure out what to do with it. I think B2C is doing a little bit better, and I think some Instagram ads are helping.

But, I feel like a lot of the people that are listening really don't have a deep knowledge of Instagram. Maybe I'm making an assumption. I don't have a deep knowledge of Instagram. I mean, I use it. We use it for our business. I wouldn't say it's a major driver of traffic to our website, or leads, or even brand awareness for us.

So, I really just want to pick your brain for marketers who are listening, who are maybe grappling with "How should I use Instagram for my business?"

How would you suggest they get started today, given where Instagram is now? And then we can maybe dive a little bit deeper into very specific tactics of ways to do it right.

How To Use Instagram For Business

Rev: Cool. Well, I would say this really about any social network but specifically as it relates to Instagram. There's only two reasons why a business needs to be on Instagram. Either a portion of their target audience is already there, or they have the ability to build an audience where nobody else is.

If you can't define either of those things I would tell you not to use Instagram or any social tool.

Where it gets specific with Instagram is, this is like a "duh" moment of course, but it's a super visual format. So, if you can't express either the values of your company, or your interests, or the solutions your service or product provides, or you can't speak to your audience through a visual nature, it's the wrong social network to be on.

So, is it a powerful platform for B2B? Well, yeah, I would say it is. But then it's how are you using it.

So, what I think the problem with a lot of businesses when they approach Instagram is they approach it the same way they might approach LinkedIn, or the same way they might approach Facebook or Twitter. They're just copy and pasting the same format, and they're using it to broadcast whatever it is they're broadcasting.

Because Instagram is pretty visual I think it makes a great play for it being a great way to brand your business. So it doesn't necessarily have to be promotional based, "Buy our product. Use our service." But it could be about your people, it could be about your brand, it could be about your customers.

So, I think Instagram is a great tool for expressing either who you are as a brand, or who are the customers you help.

Kathleen: It's interesting that you say that, because I think to date ... Again, we haven't put a lot of resources into our Instagram. But, I feel like the one area to date where it really has produced results for us is with recruiting. Because people do ... We tend to recruit a lot of younger marketers, I say younger but that's younger than me. Which is a lot of people. People who are in that Instagram demographic, and they do tend to look at our feed and see the pictures.

We post a lot of more kind of cultural things -- our employees out having fun together, stuff happening in our office. It's been really great for that. We really haven't put a lot of effort into it as far as attracting a customer, a subscriber audience. I think that there's probably a lot more we could be doing to be quite frank.

Rev: I think you hit on it. I think a lot of, especially in 2019 the way the work force is going, people choose where they're going to work. Not just on the availability of a job or not, but what is the culture like. I think Instagram is a great tool for expressing the culture of what it's like to be a part of your brand from the inside.

So, I would agree that, that's actually a really great use of Instagram because you can take pictures of, or videos of people and moments and show what it's like to be a part of your team. So from that aspect it's actually a really great recruiting tool because it gives a vision into what it's like to be there.

Kathleen: So, fair to say that the key differentiator of Instagram, well key differentiators, one is that the platform is really built around pictures and video? Then, I know the other one is that you can't put links in your posts. You can put a link in your bio, but not in your post, correct?

Rev: That's correct. One of the things with Instagram is because it's sort of an open format and it's very heavy in the influencer world and there's a lot of brands trying to figure out what to do there, I think you get a lot of casual audience. So, just because somebody liked your picture doesn't mean they read your text. So even if you did attempt to put a link in your text, which doesn't hyperlink, or you were smart and put it in your bio and told people to go there after they read the post, it doesn't mean they're even going to see that text.

Rev: So, the problem, or maybe the challenge, with Instagram is that you get a lot of intense users. If you want to go deep as a fan on any subject, cars, education, food, swim wear, vacation you can go super deep by following super deep oriented brands, or channels, or influencers. But you're also going to get the bigger you get a lot more causal of an audience. So it's a lot harder to get them to convert from being causal to intense. But, it's a great place to drive intensity.

So, you see that picture and if it really speaks to you, then you might click more, then you might take my call to action. You might go to my story. So, I tell people to design their content for the intense experience, not the broad audience.

Kathleen: Okay. So, it sounds like focusing on videos and images that can stand alone without any supporting copy?

Rev: Well, from an attraction standpoint. I'll use my account as an example because thats honestly the best one I have, or maybe the one I have the deepest lens into.

So, if you go look at my Instagram account without clicking deeper, it just looks like cheeseburgers, french fries, steak and barbecue. But if you start to go read the captions, or you read the stuff I'm putting out there, you check out my stories, a lot of them have not just where should you get that pizza, but how you should manage your reputation online if you're a restaurant. Or, the importance of impression metrics in Instagram.

So, the actual text is a bit deeper. I do that by design.

The picture of the cheeseburgers is there to get your attention. It's my headline if you will. Then the text drives a deeper intention. So, I've sort of designed it that if you want to casually like burgers, you can, and if you really care about what I have to say or my thoughts, you can go deeper.

I think the sort of a great way to look at how Instagram can work for a brand is that the pictures have to be appealing about whatever it is that you're trying to spread.

Like we were talking about recruiting. What's it like to work here? Then the text, and the links, and the calls to action can be how to take that next step, how to find out more. How that brand can appeal more to the intended, or target, audience.

Kathleen: We talked about the pictures, and it definitely sounds like, if I'm hearing you right, that that's about the first attention grab. We'll call that almost like the top of the funnel. How do you real them in?

Then, as you're describing, there's what you put in your caption to the picture. I mean, even as a casual Instagram user I've noticed there are certain little tricks people use, hacks, et cetera in terms of formatting their captions, how they want hashtags to show up.

Can you talk a little bit about the different ways that you can use that space to your advantage and to help you get found?

Rev: Sure. So, one of the things that you need to keep in mind when you're building the text for your Instagram posts is that they do cut you off. So there's only a certain amount of characters before you have to tap more to see it. It's almost like an article versus going deep into a blog.

So when you're crafting the message to your Instagram post, you got to think about what's going to happen in the first six or seven words that's going to make somebody want to tap more to see what else you wrote.

So, I know again this is going to sound like a "duh" moment. But you got to think in terms of story telling.

The photo gets your attention, that first line needs to make you want to click to read more. So you have to think about, when you're crafting an Instagram post, how intense is the message? If it's not super intense, you can sort of give it away before the fold.

Like if it's ... Let's say it's a giveaway. You're going to run a promotion on your Instagram. I would tell you that the first word in your post should be "giveaway" so that I know, "Hey, that's a giveaway. If I want to participate in a giveaway I need to tap more."

But, if it's more of a story that reveals a point or needs to drive something, you need to almost treat it like it's a headline to your photo. I hate to use the words "click bait," but really you got to think about what's going to drive that tap for more.

If you're going ... Look, I don't tell brands to get on Instagram and think about growing your follower base. It's pointless. You want to grow engagement. So I don't care if you have 100,000 followers, or 10. How many of those followers are hanging onto every word and photo you say?

So when you're writing that text, and you're thinking about "How do I get them to click more?", you got to think about what's the best story you can tell? What is the highest value you can have and get them to click more?

Anything else, Kathleen, that I'm going to go through today is completely tactical-based like where to put your hashtags, which hashtags to use. If you can't sort of perfect the image, the call to action and how to get click more, none of the other advice I would ever give you has any relevance whatsoever.

Kathleen: So, have you seen any examples of brands that are doing this really well that have that deep level of engagement and that passionate following, if you will?

Brands That Are Crushing It On Instagram

Rev: Most of my examples will be food, that really shouldn't be a surprise.

But I really like Taco Bell. I think all their images look great. So they've taken the time to make sure they captured your attention by having a really interesting image. Then if you go look at their photos the first line of text, that pre-header to the more, is always something that makes you sort of want to know more. It makes you want to tap more, it makes you think. You can almost decide in the instant whether you need to know more or not. They're a really good brand to follow.

I kind of also really like Food Beast. I don't know if you're familiar with Food Beast, but they're a media channel. So they're kind of an agency and they do some influencer marketing stuff. They have a podcast or whatever, and a blog, blah blah blah. But their whole thing is about really intense food experiences. So, they don't post a picture of burgers at In 'n Out. They post a picture of a stack of 17 patties on a bun. So, it's really intense but then you'll go click it and they'll be something about how you can order that burger. Or why you should tap their bio to go listen to an interview with somebody who figured out how to gain the secret menu system at In 'n Out.

But, anyway. The content's super engaging. So the photo will draw you in, the text will make you want to tap more and then there's usually some sort of call to action that makes you want to go deeper.

So, those are two examples of brands I really enjoy following.

Kathleen: Okay. We'll definitely have to check those out to see how they're crafting their captions.

Now, as you mentioned there are tactical elements to this. So, shifting from the strategic, which is how do you tell a great story, how do you craft a great first line to get somebody to want to hit that more button and dive deeper. Then there's the very tactical elements of formatting these things. Again, the hashtags. Can you get into the tactical side of it a little bit?

The Nitty Gritty of Mastering Instagram Marketing

Rev: Sure. So, let's start high level.

The first is photo quality. It's so hard for me to tell people to not edit their photos. There's some really simple, simple easy to use apps you can use on your phone.

I happen to like Snapseed, it's available on both iOS and for Androids. I mean, I've got it down where I can edit a photo whether it's a picture of my kid in the backyard, or a stack of french fries I can edit it in under 30 seconds. They've made it super easy to just adjust the white balance, up the structure, add a little saturation.

The difference between a crappy photo and a much more engaging photo is much lower. There's a much lower barrier for entry than you think there is.

Kathleen: Now, do you have to know much about photography or graphic design to do this? Or is this something that anybody could figure out using Snapseed?

Rev: I have been doing some sort of photo content since 2003 and I know nothing. My photoshop skills are about as good as I can cut and past a taco into somebody's hand. I have no photoshop skills. I mean, you said earlier that you really liked my pictures. That's something I could teach somebody in a matter of minutes. It's much easier than you think it is.

So, number one, edit your photos. Don't assume that just because it looks good on your phone it'll look good on mine. Run it through an editor. Do a little white balance, a little contrast, play around with it. But number one, definitely edit your photos. Don't think your handheld device is good enough that you can be a master.

Number two, a really good, and important, tactic is consistency. So, if you're going to post every day on Instagram, then post every day. Don't post every day for a week and then stop doing it. If you don't have the bandwidth to post every day, post every other day, or post just on Saturdays. But you want to build an expectation with your audience of how much content to expect from you. Don't put anything out there that doesn't help ... That basically doesn't help people.

So, if you're like, "We're going to post every day," then you better make sure that every day you have something that's valuable to people. If you can't possibly put up something of value every day, then lower your cadence, right? It's okay. Instagram's not going to hurt you if you only post on Sundays.

Have that consistency, let people expect to know when somethings going to ... They're going to get something from you.

Kathleen: Is there anything you can do in the way you create your post to increase the odds of it getting found by somebody who's casually looking through Instagram? Because there are your followers, and then there are the people that are going to stumble upon your content.

Rev: Sure. So, I'm sure everybody's heard of this but one of the best ways to attract new audiences on Instagram is with hashtags. I'm going to break down something really important here in a second about hashtags. But, the thing to know is you can have up to 30 different hashtags. So, I suggest that people use a content mix of hashtags.

So, again, I'll use food as my example, of course that's my lens. I wouldn't share a picture of burgers and then have all burger hashtags. I'll have some location hashtags, I'll have some branded hashtags, I'll have some more cheap food type hashtags. But you want to get a mix of hashtags that appeals to different levels of your audience.

Some hashtags are going to have millions and millions of uses. If you have 100 followers there's little to no chance that you using a #Life, or #Happy that you're ever going to score with those. You need to find things that are a little bit more deeper down the funnel in terms of getting an audience.

But you need to think of that mix in terms of tiering your hashtags. But the other thing to note, and there's sort of a conversation happening out there in Instagram land, you can either put the hashtags in the caption of the text, so along with your call to action and your description, your story. Or you can put them as a comment. So they're separated.

There's a conversation out there happening, and nobody's sort of landed on which side of the coin is better. But I would tell you to test it.

Kathleen: That's really interesting. I haven't heard about this. So, I would love to get your sense of when you might use one versus the other.

Rev: Well, I have been religiously posting the hashtags in the text of my content for three years. So, I'll write out my post, I'll pick out my 30 hashtags. When I go post it up I've included the hashtags with the text.

Somebody recently told me that they're having success with using it in the comments. So I'm actually in the middle of a seven day test where the prior seven days I only did in the text, these seven days I'm only doing it in the content. Then, I'm going to measure what the differences were in those.

When you're going to run a test like that, and I would tell everybody to test this. Everybody. Know what you're testing.

So me, right now, I'm just looking for a signal. Do I get more audience, do I get more followers, do I get more engagement? What do I get more of?

I'll then take that information and then do a second deeper test. So, right now I'm just looking to see how it affects my impressions. Do I get more or less impressions by putting it in the text versus the comments? Then once I have an answer on what I think it is, then I'll test the next thing which is "Okay, if I continue to get higher impressions will I then get more followers?" See what I'm saying?

Kathleen: Yeah.

Rev: So, Instagram doesn't give us these answers. You kind of got to out there and test them. I'm not exactly sure based on what Instagram has put out there whether there is a difference.

I do know that the algorithm works different for every single account. So that's why it's important to have a theory and to test it. Have a control, that kind of thing.

Kathleen: Okay.

Rev: I would tell somebody to always use some hashtags. Never to not use a hashtag. Even if you don't score for the Explore page, which is when you go to search in Instagram and you see recommended things, you should go look at hashtags are how you get there.

But, even if I post something ... Like, every Monday I post a marketing tip. In that I always use #Rev'sMarketingTips.

So let's say you happen to find the post I did this Monday. You think that's a valued tip. You see that I'm using that hashtag, you can then just tap that hashtag and find other posts related to that subject that go back years, and years, and years, and years.

So, the value of the hashtags I think most people would look at as, "Oh, that's how you hit the Explore page and get a bunch of followers and likes." It's also good for research.

I did a thing last year where I was trying to categorize all the types of fries. There are 21, by the way. I needed a photo visual of smiley fries. I didn't know how to find a picture of smiley fries so I just typed into the Explorer S-M-I-L-E-Y-F-R ... And guess what? People had used the hashtag, so I found the things I needed.

So, hashtags have a double value. It can help you be found sort of in the immediate, and also in the long run. But I would tell everybody to use at least the most relevant ones to the content every time.

Kathleen: Okay. Now, I want to come back in a minute to the Explore tab but I don't want to get distracted from this and lose track.

So, I notice when I look at your posts you have a very particular format that's almost paragraph style. In between your paragraphs you have a period on the line break. This is getting very tactical and technical but it's something that I'm interested in. I see a lot of other people do their initial caption and then five line breaks with little periods and then their hashtags.

Can you talk a little bit about that and also for the newbie to Instagram, because I remember when I had this question, how do you do that? Because you can't do a hard return from your phone.

Rev: So, we'll start with the why, we'll talk about the how, and then I'll go into why you would do each one.

So, first of all you can't do a line break when you're typing in Instagram. Typically they'll just pull it back anyway. They'll delete the line break. So, I put a period in between paragraphs or sentences so that it's essentially a line break. It just so happens that there's also a visual to my line break. They don't allow you, so that's why you would do it.

Now, why do I particularly do it, or why would I recommend you do it? Well, I think if you take five sentences and you put them together they're much harder to read than five sentences with spaces in the middle. So I'm trying to make a really fast moving social network a bit more digestible.

If you see what I call "word vomit," you just see five sentences all smashed together on Instagram, your brain's not going to register that as fast as if I have one sentence, a line break, one sentence, a line break. It feels more digestible and easy.

So I'm trying to get my content to be a little more easy to digest and I would tell that to anybody.

But, now to get into the super, super, super deep part. So the Instagram algorithm rewards the accounts by users who spend more time. So if you come to my content and you spend one second that's worth X amount of algorithm. If you spent two seconds that's worth X+. If you spend five seconds X++. If you spend a full minute on one of my Instagram posts the algorithm is like, "Wow, this must be a pretty awesome post."

So, why would you put in line breaks, or multiple line breaks is you're trying to get people to scroll and interact. So it's a little bit of gaming the system, you know what I'm saying? But, truly Instagram does value time spent on a post.

So that's why you would might see somebody has a sentence and then five line breaks. They're trying to gain time on the post.

Kathleen: Now, the technique I've always used to do that, because you can't do it in Instagram, is to open up the Notes App on my phone and type it in there and then copy and paste it over. Is that pretty much what you do, or do you have some other secret sauce behind how you're doing this?

Rev: I used to use Notes on my phone. I just don't like that app. So now I use Simple Notes. Simple Notes also has a super easy desktop format so it's easy to go back and forth between, which Notes doesn't really. So, but essentially it's the same thing. I write it in the text based notes and then cut and paste it in.

Instagram Software Solutions

Rev: But there are a number of software solutions out there that will let you do that where you can actually write it in the software and have it push it. I just don't happen to like them.

Kathleen: What are some of the more common ones?

Rev: Later is probably one of the biggest ones. I really like their analytics, I just don't ... I'm not a scheduler. I don't like scheduling software, so.

Kathleen: Got it. Those are some of the details that I think if you're not a heavy Instagram user can really trip you up. Being like, "How are all these people adding these line breaks and periods? Why are they doing that?"

Rev: But I could see for a ... You know, I'm a user in that regard. But for a brand or business if you're managing multiple social channels and you have content going out everywhere having a software that schedules could be super, super helpful.

Kathleen: Yeah.

Rev: Don't take me saying I don't like it meaning it's not good. It's just not what I need.

Getting Into Instagram's Explore Tab

Kathleen: Now, back to the topic of the Explore tab. So you mentioned that is how you can get found in Instagram by an audience that may not already know about you if you land on the Explorer tab.

Can you talk me through how does that happen? How does Instagram decide what to put there?

Rev: So, the answer is "I don't know." Anybody that has the answer either works at Instagram or is lying.

Like I said, I'm in the middle of the test and I went and actually analyzed my last 14 days worth of content, so 14 posts this morning in preparation for this conversation. I realized that in the last 14 days I made it to the Explore page twice. It was only worth about 400 total impressions.

So, how do you hit it? I don't know. Ways that you can sort of try to get in the surface of it is having better engagement. One of the ways to send a signal is through hashtags. So the way ... Let me see if I can explain this a different way.

So, here's how the algorithm works. If you, Kathleen, post X type of content and I, Rev, happen to like your content and then I go like content that's similar to Kathleen's content, it will send a signal to me and to Instagram that your account should be shown more to me. Does that make sense?

Kathleen: Yeah.

Rev: Then as long as you continue to post similar relevant content, it's going to be shown to me. So my algorithm is unique, and your algorithm is unique. Where they match is where the magic sort of happens.

The Explore page is where your content and the general populace, so the ven diagram of interest, that's where the general algorithm and your algorithm meet.

So, everybody's like, "Oh, hit the Explore page. Hit the Explore page." People think, "Oh, if I get 10,000 likes in the first 10 minutes I'll hit the Explore page." That is not how the Explore page works. It used to but Instagram's gotten a lot smarter.

So now, again, it's going to take into effect your Explore page, and my Explore page are going to be totally different.

It's going to show me things that are relevant to me based on other posts I've engaged with. It's going to show you relevant things based on what you've engaged with. Hashtags is just a way for you to send a signal that your content might be relevant for X type of category or content.

Kathleen: You said that you knew two of your posts had landed on the Explore page. How did you know that?

Rev: So, if you have an Instagram account and you have, I forget, over so many followers you can change it to a business account. I have a business account and one of the advantages to a business account is Deep Insights.

So you can pull up your Insights on any post and you can see what your reach was, you can see how many followers you got because of that post, you can see impressions and then you can also see how people found that post. So you'll see something like from home, or from hashtags, or from profile, location, Explore, and other.

So, like I said, I went and looked at my last 14 days of content and only two of my posts had impressions from Explore. So if you just view Insights and then you can see. If it doesn't say from Explore, that post did not hit the Explore page.

When To Post to the Instagram Feed v. Create An Instagram Story

Kathleen: Interesting. Now, changing gears for a second, Instagram has the feed and then it has stories. I would be really curious to get your take on when a brand should use stories versus when they should use the feed for something.

Rev: There's a great question. When to use stories, and when to use feed?

I read a poll the other day, and after the interview I'll send you the report so that you can link it up if you want. But basically a company went out and did a bunch of research on Instagram the other day and found out that people don't look at stories. Not nearly as much as people thought they did. I think the reason for that is people originally assume that stories didn't screw up their algorithm for their feed so they were like ballot stuffing, and box stuffing. Like, "Oh, I can put anything I want in my stories. It doesn't hurt my algorithm." Almost like, "Oh, it's going to delete in 24 hours. It's throw away content."

So, you might have an influencer or a person that would go put up 14, or 15 story posts in a day and I think what's happened is as people have started to actually look and play with stories, they move through it even faster than the feed.

So, if you have 20 live stories it feels like homework for me. I don't need that much vision into your life. Unless you're somebody who I really look up to, or you're a celebrity I'm really interested. Or, I don't know somebody you're stalking.

But, when to use them, and I think is really what's good here, is I think that they have to be a part of the overall content plan. The feed is intended as a snapshot. Here's a moment in time, it's super curative, we thought about this, we put time into this post, it's meant to represent us a certain way.

So I think people look at the feed as having a certain value because they know that you have to work to have a certain quality post. They're expecting a certain level of quality.

Where the expectation with stories isn't the same. It's more people are looking for "How do we get here? What's the story behind the story? Is there really a Wizard of Oz behind the curtain?"

So, when would I tell somebody to use a story? When you need to tell deeper parts of a story. Or, when you need to show a side of the brand that's a bit more snackable, right?

Like, I'll give you an example. I know that my content is photo-based around food, and then provides restaurant recommendations and hospitality marketing tips. If I put a picture of my kid in my feed it doesn't deliver against either of my brand goals.

But, I might put a picture of my kid in my stories because something funny happened and it shows you a little bit more about my brand, or my personality. It doesn't necessarily have to interrupt the broadcast of Rev Ciancio. It's just "in addition to."

So, is that a really, really long way to say use it to tell the high listing stories?

Kathleen: No, that's perfect.

The other thing I think is so interesting, though, is that feed and stories have very different functionality. Stories has dramatically enhanced tools when it comes to your ability to edit. I want to even say, like, add bling, or bedazzle your images. There are so many things with text overlays, and animated GIFs, polls, and questions, and music. It goes on and on.

So, that's one of the things I think is really interesting, is the way that you can manipulate the images and the video on your stories is very different then what you can do in the feed.

Rev: Yeah. I think that's one of the fun parts about stories is there's more you can do. You can actually put a link that people can click, and you can have a call to action. You can put fun animations. That's why I think stories are sort of more the behind the scene thing. You can definitely have a lot more creative fun with them. It's easy to add a GIF, it's easy to add a link, it's easy to add a geo locations.

From a business account aspect, one of the things that I love about stories and that was really helpful from a branding and marketing perspective is you can actually calculate sticker taps.

So, a sticker tap is anything that you add to the photo that leads somebody to another destination. So, it could be a geo tag, it could be another screen user name, it could be a hashtag. You can look back and see how many sticker taps.

So, if you're a brand and you're using influencer marketing, you're paying influencers to post sponsored content about your brand you can have them report back, "Hey, how many people saw your story and then tapped to my page?" That's a super valuable metric because it shows high intention.

So, I mean that is one of the great things about stories is there's a lot more fun and a lot more tools.

What Is "Link in Bio" And When Should You Use It?

Kathleen: Yeah. Now, the other thing that I'm really curious about is the whole "link in bio" thing. You see a lot of, particularly news organizations do this a lot where they then maintain dedicated pages on their websites that are just collections of stories that you get to from tapping the link in their bio. Then you tap on that and it takes you to another ... That's sort of their way of getting you to come back to their website.

Any thoughts on should brands be using that? Is that just for bigger companies? When does that make sense?

Rev: I love telling people to always take another ... I'm sorry. Let me put that another way. I love calls to action. Even if the call to action is, "Like this photo." It's a call to action. So, to me, if you have something really valuable, or really funny, or really important to share telling people, or asking people to click the link in your bio to learn more, to read more, to get something for free to download is a great use of it and shows high intent.

So, I published a book. Well, actually my former employer published a book that I wrote earlier this year. I know that I've driven almost 600 downloads to that book from my Instagram bio page. In the grand scheme of thing if I'm getting 2,000 likes a day 600 isn't all that much. But, to me those 600 taps are more important to me than any other content action, or engagement action that's happened on my profile.

How do I know that? I track that link. I make calls to that link. I look at that link. So I think it's a super ...

Putting a link in your bio and drawing a call to action to it is a great way to give customers another reason to be deeper involved with your brand. Or to reward them, or to help them, and I think it shows a really professional way, even if it's just entertaining, to use Instagram. Give me a deeper experience. If you want me to follow you and engage with you give me lots of fun stuff. Give me lots of value, give me lots of information.

So, I'm a huge fan of the call to action. Set a quick link in bio and I'm a huge action of people measuring it.

Kathleen: There are two different ways you can handle that link in the bio. There's the send them to a page on your website where there's a thing, whether that's an offer, or a book as you have. Or there are these third party tools that are specifically for the link in bio feature that allow you to create almost a dynamic page that has multiple offers, or multiple gateways to other things.

Have you used any of those, can you speak to are there any of those in particular that you recommend?

Rev: Sure. I've tested a couple of them and they didn't really deliver against my goal so I kind of stopped. But I can tell you why you would think about using something like that.

So, the way the algorithm is working currently with Instagram is the life of a post, they've extended it. So if you put something in your feed it typically performs about for three to four days. Meaning it's going to continue to get activity, maybe somebody came to Kathleen's page, they start up following you, it throws a couple posts up and they like it. They realize you like it. Three days later they'll test another one from four days ago.

So, anyway, the life of a post is a little bit longer on Instagram than it used to be. It's certainly longer than the life of a Facebook or Twitter post.

So, how does this relate? Well, if I put up an article on Monday and say, "Hey, go click the link in my bio. You should read this article." But then I post another article on Thursday and tell you do to the same thing. If you see that one from Monday you can't interact with it again. So, that call to action kind of dies the minute you switch your bio.

If you are a brand, or a business, or a person that has lots, and lots of media content to share, that's where those tools are really, really helpful because then if I missed the ability to click the link that was directly to the contents that you told me to link to that landing page still gives it to me. Like, I didn't miss out on it as a brand, or a marketer, I didn't miss out on that tap. I didn't miss out on driving that value.

So that's why you would use it.

Kathleen: I see it a lot with media organizations. I follow The Today Show on Instagram and they do a really good job with the link in bio thing. Then they have their page with a million different things you could go off and look at. So that's a good example for anybody who wants to see that.

Rev: Yeah, anybody who's producing a high amount of content like a news channel or media outlet it's a super valuable tool. If you're just sort of writing a blog here and there, producing a monthly video, maybe not a tool that's going to deliver as much value to you. But still something to look at.

Kathleen's Two Questions

Kathleen: Yeah. Well, I could talk about Instagram with you forever. But, we are running out of time. So before we wrap up two questions I always ask everybody. The first one is: company or individual, who do you think right now is doing inbound marketing really well?

Rev: I'm going to answer that question from an Instagram content perspective, how's that?

Kathleen: I love it.

Rev: I love Later. Later is an app that helps you sort of manage your Instagram content. But, I love that their content is a mix of thought leadership, product attributes and branding. It's super specific to Instagram marketers and people who need Instagram solutions.

But it helps people think about the space, then they tell you a bit about why their product could help you. Then they also do some branding moments.

So, they're truly using content in the way it should be used, to get your attention, to get you to consider their solution, to understand the problem. Really that's what inbound marketing is. It's about awareness and conversion down the funnel.

Kathleen: They are @LaterMedia on Instagram, because I just went and followed them as you said that.

Rev: They have a good content mix too, I tell people if you want to learn more about how to do good Instagram marketing, actually check out Later. They have some good marketing and some good branding.

Kathleen: Boy, just casually glancing at their account one thing the very interesting that they do well is all of their images kind of thematically hang together, like from a color standpoint. They're all very pastel and bright and happy. So, that's really interesting. It takes a very keen editorial eye to carry that consistency out throughout everything.

Rev: They have clearly thought out what their Instagram marketing ... Why they're doing Instagram marketing. It's one of the great reasons to look at their account.

Kathleen: All right. Second question: the world of digital marketing is changing really, really quickly. It can be very hard for marketers to stay up to date on the latest developments. How do you handle that? How do you keep yourself educated and on top of everything?

Rev: Oh, boy. Well, you have to want to learn. That's the first thing. Me, I listen to, there's probably three or four podcasts that I really, really recommend that I'll listen to every single episode on. Because they've consistently delivered value and the types of things I want to learn about in marketing. But then there's also a couple media sources that I really like. So, it's reading, it's listening, it's educating, it's asking questions. Then my favorite part about marketing, and the most important one, is testing.

So even if you learn something new, or somebody listening to this interview today is like, "Oh, that's really cool." Don't take my word as bond. Let it inspire a thought and then go test it. Maybe some of this works for you, maybe it doesn't, maybe you come up with something better than what I've thought of. That's really ... How do I stay educated and keep abreast? I learn, ask questions, and then test, test, test, test, test, test.

Kathleen: All right. You got to spill the beans on what your favorite podcasts are.

Rev: So one of my favorite podcasts is Social Pros with Jay Baer. What I love about Jay is that podcast has been around for many, many years and they sort of started it to talk about great solutions and great ideas in social media. But it's really come about digital marketing.

On one episode you might get some great thought leadership about how people need to think about marketing tomorrow, then the next episode you'll get super neat tactics on how to master HubSpot. So it's really good if you like inspiration and tactical information, which is like some days I don't need inspiration I'm just like, "Tell me how to change my day-to-day." That's a great one.

My other really favorite one is The Marketing Companion podcast with Mark Schaefer and Tom Webster. It is entirely thought leadership. So they're not going to tell you, "Hey, what's the best way to get more engagement on Twitter today." But, they truly, truly care about marketing and like to think deeper. So if you're a really heady marketing nerd like myself, and probably a lot of people that listen to this show, The Marketing Companion podcast is a really great podcast for inspiring you to want to think differently, and to be ahead of the curve and be a better marketer.

Kathleen: I was just listening to their episode on Mark Schaefer's new book Marketing Rebellion this morning.

Rev: I'm obsessed with the concept in that book. I believe that reputation management and customer success is the most important form of marketing, that's kind of what that book's about. So, it's speaking to a lot of the values I hold.

Kathleen: Yeah. Very cool. Well, thank you for sharing your insights on Instagram, that was really interesting. I feel like I know a lot more know than I did when I started. I am self-admittedly not an Instagram pro. So, that was really helpful.

How to Connect With Rev

Kathleen: If somebody's been listening and wants to reach out and learn more from you what's the best way for them to get in touch with you?

Rev: Well, again, thank you for inviting me out today. I truly enjoyed this conversation. People say to me all the time, "Oh, I should be like you. I should be on Instagram." If you don't know why you should be, then don't. Take the challenge that works for you. But if people want to ask me more questions, or get more information my screen name is the same on every LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. I'm @RevCiancio. If you're like, "I don't know how to spell that, or I can't remember." Just Google "Expert Burger Taster" and I should be in the top seven results.

Kathleen: Nice.

Rev: Yeah.

Kathleen: You can also visit the show notes and I'll have links to your Instagram, and your LinkedIn, and any other place that you reside online.

Rev: Thanks so much. I'll tell you what, obviously anybody who's listening to this after its been recorded you'll already have known this, but I'm going to put a link to this podcast in my bio once I have the link.

Kathleen: Love it. Excellent. Link in bio, check it out. Very good. Well, thank you so much, Rev, it's been fascinating.

If you are listening and you liked what you heard, as always, I would really appreciate a review on Apple Podcasts, or the platform of your choice. Really, I would appreciate it. If you know somebody else who's doing kick ass inbound marketing work tweet me @WorkMommyWork because I would love to have them as my next guest.

Kathleen: Thanks for joining me Rev.

Rev: Thank you for having me.

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from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/instagram-marketing-rev-ciancio

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