#Posting this publicly because I want my mutuals who have OCS to see this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emotionalcadaver · 2 months

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I've written and rewritten this post so many times, and I've debated even posting it at all.

And before we begin: I am not trying to make anyone feel bad, or place blame on anyone. I understand that many of you were manipulated or worse. But this is part of how this jackass and his behavior affected me, so I want to talk about it.

The first time I looked at his blog, it was after the wonderful @shelbydelrey messaged me to warn me that there was a new person in the fandom actively attacking Grace fans. Because I write many Tommy x Grace x OC-centric fics, I was concerned, so I took a peak at his blog to see what was going on.

And I have to say, I have never felt so unwelcome in (at least a part) of a fandom in my life.

Something I haven't seen discussed a ton is just the blatant bullying and misogyny that this man publicly displayed. Post after post of him attacking Grace fans, picking fights, laughing at them, shaming them, hurling insults at them...He'd go out of his way to find content featuring Grace and comment hate on them, and then laugh about it with his followers. And this misogyny wasn't exclusive to Grace, but seemed to spread to other women as well, just based on some of the non-Grace related posts I also saw that he made.

Now, I actually don't give a shit whether people like Grace or not. I personally have a soft spot for her, but I don't expect other people to share in my feelings, and I respect their opinions. Most of the time, if I see a post hating on her, I just keep scrolling.

But this...this really got to me. It was so disheartening to see someone behave in what-- at least to me--was such a blatantly and obviously misogynistic way while being cheered and egged on by a significant part of the fandom. It made me feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome. And considering his popularity and how so many people seemed to see no problem with his behavior, it made me question if I was even welcome in this fandom at all, and several times I considered deleting my blog and my fics and leaving entirely.

I'm not going to lie; it broke my view of this fandom a little bit. I can't begin to describe how saddening it was to see that this behavior was not only accepted, but actively enabled and seemingly practiced by so many. Obviously now I know that there were far more complicated things going on behind the curtain, but at the time, that's what it appeared to me: that an extremely large part of the fandom saw nothing wrong with speaking about women--real or fictional--in horrifically offensive and demeaning ways, and openly bullying those who did not share their views on certain characters/parts of canon.

I became paranoid, even after blocking him, that he or one of his followers would find my blog, and I would be the next target of a barrage of hate and harassment. So I blocked most people I saw associating with him (I've unblocked most of you now). Because it felt like that only way to protect myself. Not only did I not want to ever be associated with the kind of behavior he displayed on his blog, but I also was terrified of getting dogpiled onto by his followers, even for the simple act of having blocked him. I was literally convinced that if my blog was noticed by him or anyone closely associated with him, I would get run out of the fandom. So I chose to remain in my own little bubble of mutuals who I trust, and did not make any significant efforts to reach out to or connect with new people.

Again, this is not me trying to call anyone out except for him. I know many of you--or at least, I hope many of you--did not intend to enable a misogynist monster or a bully. And ultimately he was the one who created this hostile environment, and it is very possible, knowing now that he has a habit of making alternative accounts, that many of his "followers" who showed support for his behavior may have just been him on other accounts, or sending himself asks via anon.

I don't really have a specific point to this post. I just wanted to share these feelings somewhere, I suppose. I hate this man for what he has done to so many of you and this entire community. And for how he made me feel so frightened and unwelcome by huge parts of this fandom.

#no one will probably read this lol but i needed to get it off my chest #laur babbles

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smilingsouthernpsychopath · 3 months

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Rules

You must be 18+ to interact with Alastor or any of my muses for that matter. Hazbin Hotel is a cartoon for adults and this blog will contain content not suitable for children. I am 21+ and I don't feel comfortable roleplaying with minors. Trust me, I will be checking.

That being said, please have your age/age range somewhere on your blog that is visible to mobile users. I am always on my phone and if I can't see your age, I'm going to assume you're a minor and block you. You can message me privately if you don't feel comfortable stating your age/age range publicly but if I suspect that you're a minor and/or you're lying about your age, I'm blocking you.

No non-RP blogs beyond this point if you please! If you're a hub for RP blogs, that's fine but otherwise, no personal blogs please. Also not blank or porn blogs. Personals (unless connected to an RP blog (s)), Blank and Porn blogs will be blocked on sight.

If your personal blog is connected to an RP blog at all, please have that stated somewhere or message me to let me know. I don't want to block a potential writing partner by accident

Don't harass me about responding. I will block you. I have ADHD and depression so muse is a fickle thing for me as is motivation. I may drop threads by accident because I lost muse or forgot to respond. So, if there's a thread you want to continue and it's been more than a week, send it to me!

If we're writing together, please please please please please please please please please give me something to work with! If I can't work with what you sent me, I can't respond. If I can't work with whatever it is you sent me, I'm going to ask you ONCE to fix it. If I still can't work with it, I'm going to ignore it. If it continues, I'm blocking you.

That being said, PLOT WITH ME!! I do so much better with a thread if we've plotted it out beforehand. This is especially true with starters and memes, think carefully before you send me something. If there's a specific context for that meme or that starter, TELL ME! I'm not a mind reader, guys!

As I said, I prefer plotting in general but plotting is 100000% REQUIRED if your muse is an OC. If I don't know your character, Alastor doesn't either.

Do not reblog shit you're not involved with. This is the single most annoying thing in my opinion and I will block you SO FAST if you do this. If it doesn't concern you, leave it alone. I don't care if y'all interact with my OOC posts/Discussion posts but please don't reblog shit that doesn't concern you. Headcanons can be reblogged by MUTUALS ONLY.

Don't Godmod. This portrayal of Alastor is MINE and I am more than capable of writing him. If you think you can do better, make your own Alastor but let me write mine, ok? Ok.

Please, for the love of everything unholy, do NOT write in first person, chat speak, chat style or script style if you're interested in writing with me. I can't work with it and it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine. No offense to those who enjoy it, I just can't do it. If this is the only way you plan on writing, move along.

This Alastor is Demisexual/Demi romantic. I feel like he has a more masculine lean in terms of attraction but that doesn't mean ladies are completely out of the question.

Ships you can expect to see are RadioDust, RadioHusk, RadioHuskerDust, RadioStatic (Alastor x Vox). Don't like? Don't interact. I'm not a fan of Charlastor, sorry! I'm open to other ships though!

Keep One-Liners to a minimum please!

There will be blood, gore and other disturbing content. If any of that bothers you, Alastor may not be the muse you want to play with. I am not changing my character for you, sorry about it.

If you disrespect me, my muse (This doesn't count if it's IC) or my rules on my blog, I'm blocking you.

Feel free to message me OOC!

If I Block you, DNI WITH MY BLOGS! Don't bloghop and harass me about it. LEAVE ME ALONE!

#🔪i can give you what you want just not for free 🔪| {rules}#💀 dead men tell no tales 💀| {ooc}#🩸embrace the dark as though you knew it🩸| {mun speaks}

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a-face-made-for-radio · 3 months

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🎙️So, Do We Have A Deal~?

If your personal blog is connected to an RP blog at all, please have that stated somewhere or message me to let me know. I don't want to block a potential writing partner by accident

As I said, I prefer plotting in general but plotting is 100000% REQUIRED if your muse is an OC. If I don't know your character, Alastor doesn't either.

Don't Godmod. This portrayal of Alastor is MINE and I am more than capable of writing him. If you think you can do better, make your own Alastor but let me write mine, ok? Ok.

Alastor is AroAce but shipping is still an option. I will have a Canon Divergent Alastor that's easier to ship with as well. Don't force ships though. I ship based of Canon, Chemistry and my own personal ships.

Ships you can expect to see are RadioDust, RadioHusk, RadioHuskerDust, RadioStatic (Alastor x Vox). Don't like? Don't interact. I'm not a fan of Charlastor, sorry! I'm open to other ships though!

Keep One-Liners to a minimum please!

There will be blood, gore and other disturbing content. If any of that bothers you, Alastor may not be the muse you want to play with. I am not changing my character for you, sorry about it.

Feel free to message me OOC!

If you disrespect me, my muse (This doesn't count if it's IC) or my rules on my blog, I'm blocking you.

If I Block you, DNI WITH MY BLOGS! Don't bloghop and harass me about it. LEAVE ME ALONE!

#🔪do we have a deal? 🔪| {rules}#🎙️ pardon the interruption 🎙️| {mun speaks}#📻we interrupt this broadcast with a special bulletin! 📻| {ooc}

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rotten-carcass · 1 year

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BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING: I BETTER SEE NO ONE HARRASSING ANYONE MENTIONED HERE! NO HATE TOWARDS ANYONE

I honestly debated making a post about this, but tbh I won't tolerate death wishes towards me and other people.

The creator has me blocked, which is his absolutly his right. With this said I aknowlegde that I break my rule of overstepping boundaries here (which blocking is a ledgit method of setting boundaries), because this was sent to me by an anon and after reading it I want to give my two cents yet again.

(Btw this whole thing happend because I reblogged a public post of this creator

)

In my opinion, if you post something publicly you have to be aware that the public can/will interact with it.

My intend was never to invalidade anyones personal expierence and it never will be.

Still, I cant help but to make this call out, because this behaviour is honestly pathetic.

You are not entitled to engament

You are not entitled to interaction

You are not entitled to mutuals

You are a hypocrite if you post nsfw on your blog but then whine about people simping for it. Not everybody will read your blog rules against such behaviour if they only see your post as a part of their feed. If you don't want people to interact with you and your post in a certain way, don't act like this certain way on your blog yourself and be pissy when people get confused.

You are not entitled to police what other people come up with. This is a very fanon heavy community. Of course people will make up their own stuff. You yourself made your oc up and I promise you it was not an super original thought. Predator came out in 1987 , do you honestly think in over 36 years nobody came up with an aquatic yautja before? (dude there is an official Predator comic where the concept of a semi-aquatic yautja is explored "Hell and hot water/ 1997) Do you know how many "River Clans" exist, i can at least think abourt two other creators which had never interacted with me or I with them before we interacted with each others post. Be real. I'm not special, you're not special. No one is. Stop gatekeeping

Don't be surprised if no ones interacts with you, if you don't interact with anybody else. If you want to get mutuals and form friendships you can't just sit there and wait for them to come by. You have to make an active effort to interact with them aswell. Because we are all strangers online.

On that note. If you come in a somewhat extablished fandom and you block some people for a certain behaviour but interact postiviely with others who do the exact same thing, Don't be surprised if the mutuals of said blocked people might be hesitant to interact with you at all, because news flash, we talk with eachother.

Don't be suprised if you call a mostly chill community shit and then said community is a bit upset about it. But no, i guess we're all just mean, content stealing people who are to dumb to see what a special sparkle you are and didn't make you instant famous. (I cant help but to get a bit salty at that)

Speaking of which, next time you wish me or other "Cunts" in this community death add me at least instead of bad mouthing us behind our backs

#I MEAN IT NO HARRASSMENT OF ANY SORTS #other than that feel free to ignore this if youre here to have a good time #its absolute unacceptable to wish anyone death #Excuse possible typos

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soildmud · 3 months

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2 cents on the cupsnroses situation

okay i read the google doc and i think understand the situation now? um anyway i was reading everything cupsnroses did and honestly it is so embarrassing how someone who’s practically a legal adult is acting like a spoiled brat on the internet.

firstly, you are not entitled to people’s protection against your triggers. that is YOUR responsibility and YOUR issue to work out NOT on the internet. i understand that it’d be easier if people were to just not bring it up with you, but it is something you know is prevalent in the fandom, and you shouldn’t expect people to bend over backwards for you. also, it is SO ironic that you get upset about it, despite the fact that you flailed your arms around yelling at everyone to just block people and keywords. why don’t you take your own advice dawg?

secondly, the whole thing with their ocs. firstly, i don’t agree with the wording from the google doc about cupsnroses art and the “sexualisation” and “pornographic” nature of their art. they are 17, almost 18, and i believe it’s okay for them to post characters with “big boobs” or revealing clothing, especially because 80% of their art was not with intention of being suggestive. HOWEVER, i do agree that they should not have posted their actually suggestive artworks publicly until they were of age, to avoid legal problems. they also should have been more strict with their age restrictions on their suggestive account, because i was able to follow that account when i was 17. but i don’t think the wording was very good in the document to say that they couldn’t draw that kind of art Period. they can, because believe it or not, teenagers are sexual beings. they have sex, think of sex, etc. i would know because i Am a teen. so yeah, maybe reword that part because teens, especially 17 y/o’s, are allowed to draw that art—just not publicly.

next, my personal criticisms with their ocs. i want to preface this by saying cupsnroses has mentioned that they do not like it when people point out that they draw girls with big boobs and curvy hips, etc. they don’t like the sexualisation, i suppose. i think that’s fair to have that boundary, but it’s also kind of hard to take seriously when you clearly take pride in drawing your women like that. in fact, every single fem-oc you’ve ever drawn has the same exact body type. petite and curvy. i think the only oc i’ve ever seen that slightly changed that trend was smithy(?), because she was chubby—even she was still curvy with a large bust. your ocs are nearly copy and pastes, and all lack any sort of personality. even cuphead loses his entire personality whenever you draw him with his wife—YOUR OC.

anyway this might be mean but honestly you deserve a bit of real criticism. grow up, the world is not going to bend to your will, and reflect on what you have done. does this make you feel good? do you feel like a good person now? do you think this will benefit you in the future? i suppose not, now that you have most of your mutuals against you, right? and one more thing: maybe come up with original ideas before you throw a bitch fit that someone stole your concepts.

cupsnroses, if you see this, just know i’m ashamed of having been so trusting of you. i genuinely believed you were a cool person, if just a little childish and unoriginal. but now i really know who you are. a tall child with unrestricted internet access.

have the day you deserve.

#mud.txt #cupsnroses

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twistedrunes · 7 months

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Just getting some thoughts out of my head about people's vague posting about other people 'stealing' their ideas for fic. Because I gotta say my anxiety is off the scale. Warning: unfiltered rambling below the cut.

I'm going to be vague here because this isn't a call-out post. I don't want to start any drama; people are entitled to feel how they feel. But, I need to get this out.

As anyone who follows me for my writing (if you are, I'm so, so sorry) knows, I haven't put anything out there for ages. But I have still been writing lots of different things. I just haven't shared any of it publicly. Some of what I've been writing has been for one of a particular actor's characters; I even have 2 fics where OC has the same job! But they are, to my mind, very different stories (this will be relevant in a bit).

Part of the reason I haven't shared is because I don't want to let people down by not finishing a fic again (I'm not saying that I'll never finish George, but I also acknowledge it's been a LONG time since I updated). But also because I've noticed the rise of people criticising other people for 'stealing ideas' and honestly, I'm scared of putting anything out there that may bring a bunch of angry fandom peeps raining down on me if I inadvertently 'steal' an idea of one of the fandom darlings. I have way too much other shit happening in my life for my escape to be turned into something I want to avoid.

Over the last few days, I've seen someone (Let's call them VP1) vague posting about other people 'stealing' fic ideas. This person (and many of their mutuals) writes for a particular actor rather than for particular shows/movies/etc. It has come to light today that this person is upset because they posted about a specific au/trope (pervasive generally, but I don't think I've seen a single character this actor has played not subjected to this trope) and a specific character. VP1's post was a couple of pics of the character and a comment that the image made them want to explore this trope. Apparently, someone (let's go with SO1), posted a fic with said character and trope not long after. VP1 is pissed and has gone from vague posting to reposting SO1's fic with a link to the post of 'their' idea.

Now look, I can understand being a bit hurt or miffed, if you think perhaps someone has done something you wanted to do. But, like, my anxiety is going off. Because how on gods green earth does one avoid 'stealing' ideas if it means not writing about anything anyone has ever considered ever?? Especially when that idea is a common trope. How does VP1 know that this fic hasn't been bumping abound in SO1's WIPs for ages. How do they know the person ever saw their post. Or maybe they did see the post and remember that dusty old fic in the WIPs folder. But even if not, does a single post give you the right to stop anyone else from writing about that at all? I mean shit we, could all get a kick up the ass for writing fanfic if that's the case. It's one of the most common criticisms of the genre. Additionally, there is absolutely nothing to say that VP1 can't still write their fic and put it out into the world. I'm sure no-one will complain (two cakes and all that!).

Now, I have read some fics in my time that seemed on the surface to be similar to stuff I had written. And yeah at first there is a bit of a sting. But, given that there are generally a limited number of options for introducing a character into a specific universe, similarities are to be expected. I don't generally write AU's myself, but I have read a million versions of coffee shop AU's often with the same characters by different authors! But most of the fics quickly divert off into a thing all its own. Hell, I've written fics that were based on the ideas, fuck even the worlds, of other members of fandom (looking squarely at you @whentommymetalfie - admittedly, I do acknowledge the person whose thought sent me off to write - if it's immediately apparent to me. If something bubbles up days or weeks later, I may not remember - sorry). And that's what I love about fandom; it's collective, really; we develop fanon, we goad each other on to hurt each other's feelings more and more, and we drag tropes and au's in a million directions to see where we get.

Now, part of the reason I mentioned my own writing earlier is that a particular character played by the actor in question inspired me into 'recycling' original fic ideas I wrote aeons ago (ok, like 2016). I have three fics for that character living rent-free in my brain right now. Two of them both have an OC with the same specific occupation. It relates to how they met Main Character. However, the stories are vastly different in regard to their focus, character development etc. etc. So am I 'stealing' my own ideas?? Am I being lazy by not coming up with completely new everything every time?

I don't know what the point of all this is. Maybe I'm just feeling old and tired. But I just need to get this out.

All I know is there are a limited number of stories to tell but infinite ways to tell them. What matters and what makes them different is how 'we' tell them. Each writer brings their own stuff to it. I mean, 'Person Encounters Alien' has produced everything from "Alien" to "Paul"; they are all different, interesting, unique and influenced by the people who wrote them.

I don't want fic to feel like work or a competition. I want to write stories and share them without fearing fandom wrath. I want to read a dozen versions of the same characters in the same AU and find joy in how each person made it different.

#personal #may delete later #why can't people be generous in spirit #rather than assuming the worst of people

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twst-discourse-bot · 2 years

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they deleted their ocs but i have reblogs of them and screenshots of all posts (not reblogs they are just genshin fanart from popular artists) https://tamos-reblog-account.tumblr.com/ admittedly she isnt as bad yet this time self hate minorly sinophobic (it was pretty sneaky i almost didnt notice it) like why is it necessary to make your two black ocs with vitiligo hated by the people of liyue (nation based/inspired from china)specifically and then have both move to mondstadt (nation based/inspired from Germany...) her age was 15 this time lmao the way she has the trans flag all over but doesnt include trans in her bio is... sus? furthers my belief shes faking. well i mean... ofc she is she does it all the time. with every blog. they would have been fine if not for that like i was just scrolling the genshin tag and saw the character card for delilah and thought she was the cutest fucking thing. (im a sucker for vitiligo im sorry) was bored as FUCK tho so i didnt bother to read her stuff but then a few posts down i saw mila and thought oh hey shes similar to delilah so i decided to check out the blog when i tell you my heart dropped and then started RACING i saw the behavior and "hate asks" i looked at the pfp i read the ocs texts im loosing my fucking mind THE REST OF THE STUFF ABOUT HER OCS WAS ACTUALLY DECENT FOR ONCE BUT SHE /RUINED/ IT

they did some stuff with twst but i'll leave that to yall to discuss its just another copy of mulan and tiana

she never changes *sigh*

Hello!! Terribly sorry to everyone for the prolonged radio silence :sobsob: I work full time these days and can't keep as vigilant a watch as I used to, but I have time this morning, so I want to update everyone.

I'm using Tamo's ask as a jumping off point, both to say thank you to them for making the official callout post for Jordan/Ray's newest blog, cutemermaidprincess (now deactivated), and to talk about a couple of things that I'll get to in a moment.

To start, I believe you and I had the same idea. I was mainly leaving her alone to see what she would do this time around. I had no doubts that the blog was her yet again, but I didn't want to start something without having proof and end up throwing some poor rando under the freight train. (Sidenote: one of my mutuals recently had something like that happen to them, being falsely accused of something pretty heinous by a callout account and it scared the life out of them. I didn't want to be the cause of something like that.)

But, now that this blog is gone, I think I can start talking again. Here are the screenshots I took before it went down:

In regard to everyone who sent in asks with this blog's username, thank you! I appreciate what you are trying to do, but please understand that I didn't answer anybody publicly because I have a sort of method to approach this person's habits with. I cannot, in good conscience, take speculation as evidence of a new Ray account, but now that I have the screenshots and the blog is deleted, we can safely assume that it was her again.

While I wasn't crazy about the idea of letting her go after seeing her post the OCs, I was content to just leave her alone to do her thing if she didn't start trouble again, because there's no realistic chance of getting an apology out of her. But she ruined it for herself again, as Tamo said. I only skimmed the chara bios so I didn't catch the Sinophobia this time, I suppose I've gotten careless.

Also, it's extremely shitty of her to use a trait that many people have, vitiligo, as a jumping off point for her fake pity party. She's just adding to the list of reasons why she needs to be perma-banned with every iteration of her nonsense.

It's obvious it was her; I don't know what exactly she's hoping will happen. If she keeps posting in the tags, people will figure out who she is every time. She's better off just giving up at this point, she's made an enemy of nearly everyone in the TWST fandom and I don't think people care enough in Genshin to give her any attention.

#answered asks #evidence

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merotm · 2 years

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you know .... ever since i remade + switched from being t//wst main to fandomless i’ve had some things i wanted to get off my chest about it all. and i think i’m gonna do it now because it does affect my ability sometimes to get on and write on this blog. pls go ahead and blacklist ‘vent.’ if ur not interested in seeing this post but i just have had enough of thinking on it.

this is like a rpc callout tbh

for me, personally, i can’t enjoy the series or writing in the verse as much as i did before bc of things that go on in this rpc sometimes (not all the time or at least not that i’m aware of nor do i wanted to be made aware of more than i already know).

first of all, the division in this place is terrible for lack of a better term. if u end up being ostracized from one group you’ve essentially lost like half of the potential writing partners in this space. if this fandom were bigger, getting pushed out or cut off or what have you wouldn’t be so bad but it’s not a big fandom so it’s like ‘ oh well ’ if that happens. secondly - and idk if it’s just bc i only talk to like two or three people consistently enough so i’m out of the loop or whatever - the amount of ooc shit talking that goes on behind the scenes away from the public eye is frankly appalling. there is no reason why there are little groups dedicated to talking shit about other rpers in the fandom. if you have a problem with someone, you can go talk to them.

if you don’t like someone, just block them or blacklist their tag or whatever you need to do to have a peace of mind. that’s what i do when my mutuals interact with ppl i don’t like or i have blocked. i just move on. y’know, like a normal person. literally no excuse to be in dms saying awful things about people or making people feel shitty like they might get blocked just because they disagree with you on something or for whatever other silly little reason that may be ( like you just talk to someone they don’t like or have a problem with ).

why is there always this constant feeling of walking on egg shells ??? the tumblr rpc can be toxic; i know i’ve been here since like 2012. but this is on a different level since i’ve been on this platform.

regarding the pro vs. anti stuff that goes on in this rpc ( i literally never came into contact with this stuff much until i got here ). now, i am personally someone who adheres to the ‘you do you’ mentality. i have content i won’t write and that i wouldn’t be fine seeing from my mutuals hence why i either unfollow or block someone if they write said content; i leave people alone to write what they write. THAT ALL BEING SAID, this is a public platform, so when you write stuff that is publicly frowned upon, you really shouldn’t be that surprised when people have issues with it or give it attention bc, you know, you’re putting it out there. people being rightfully uncomfortable when you write sensitive subjects isn’t “”harassment”” and certainly doesn’t make you a victim.

on the flip side, i personally think that you can’t just jump to conclusions based on what someone writes right off the bat since quite a few of us also write for fandoms that are violent or have darker topics woven into the narrative and doing so can come across as being bad faith and lacking nuance. a lot of my evaluation is based on the intention of the writer ( why are you writing this ? are you doing it respectfully ? do you really HAVE to incorporate this into your character / story - if it’s original for an oc or hc for a canon ). frankly, if you’re writing downright terrible things because you get off on it then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that people will criticize or ostracize you; you’re not treating the subject matter with the appropriate time and respect it deserves. and not only that, instead of writing such a thing privately, by writing it on a public platform you are subjecting it to people who could potentially read it and judge it.

saying that i support murder because i have a character that kills someone is downright stupid and it takes away any nuance in this line of thinking.

everyone does have a responsibility to curate their own space to navigate the internet as much as possible but they also have a responsibility to not subject others to unwarranted, unwanted and potentially triggering content ( either through having a proper tagging system or writing this stuff privately or on another website ).

the pressure to have labels in this rpc is dumb imo because they really don’t explain everything that person is thinking or what they actually support. you can be an ‘ anti ‘ but still be okay with writing a toxic dynamic between two characters provided it’s done right. you can be ‘ pro ‘ but not support certain things like CP or n*ncon. it’s dumb. it’s pointless. idk why this rpc is rampant with this issue in particular but it’s one of the main reasons that so much shit goes on.

#「 ♕ 」 —— ❝ i am crazy but i am free ❞ » ooc.#vent.#( i'm leaving the read more on but if you want to reblog this just let me know and i will remove the read more so you can do it )#long post /#anyway. back to writing starters.

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im-thinking-arson · 3 years

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Hi wow depression is a hell of a thing.

I'm sorry for the relative silence here, considering everything that has been going on in the last (roughly) year and a half it has been really hard to focus on any creative outlets. Everything has felt pretty heavy as I have been piecing together what exactly happened to myself and the people I used to share a community with.

Although my former FC is basically non-existent at this point, I feel it is appropriate to say that I no longer associate with its' leader @morganaux (sernoudenet on Twitter and formerly here) and to clarify why.

I have been struggling with what to even say about the situation. There are so many layers that I don't honestly know if any single cross-section could explain all there is to unpack. When it takes multiple people six months to explore everything they know as fact... I think that shows its not so much of a 'he said, they said' scenario as the few people who still support Morgy have tried to claim.

I feel guilty not speaking up sooner, considering this person is a member of the FFXIV community who I'm fairly sure some of my mutuals follow. Its so hard to speak out when he publicly acts innocent, like he has quietly moved on and refuses to acknowledge what he's done.

The reality feels so cold in contrast, with the knowledge I have- that he has done this multiple times before, burning down or wearing down those he has hurt with false sincerity; claiming innocence, claiming people misunderstand the significance of the intentions behind the knives in their backs, claiming he is the truest victim of the mess wrought of his own actions.

He quietly retweets fan art, cute animals, head canons, and all kinds of fandom things- but also others' tweets to identify with their own traumas- the same traumatic thoughts and feelings he incites in others through a mixture of gaslighting, lashing out, and playing the victim. He tweets passive aggressively about people he feels the victim of, (justified or not) even amid posts about his dearly beloved OC.

At this point I should just block him and try to scrape all memory of what I went through from my mind, but un-fucking-fortunately I know him too well to believe it's over when it's over. He still makes passive aggressive tweets about people he hasn't talked to in one, two, ?? years, a person who was a good friend to him for 10 years before he scapegoated them to maintain his own sense of righteousness.

Seeing as I witnessed him maintain not one, not two, not three- FOUR venting channels in his own discord, including at one point one specifically made for sh*tting on a single person, defending it's use and encouraging others to participate saying 'this is how victims cope'...

I know it's not over, and if he had a single shred of...anything... He could leverage against me he would have already tried to 'cancel' me. I'm not turning my back again to see if he decides to throw another knife.

For a long time I wanted to believe I had simply misunderstood the situation, that his intentions weren't so self-serving. The more I saw, the more I heard testimony from others that matched my own, the more I began to un-repress and process my own memories and connect the dots... And the less sense his own account made.

While I tried to maintain my friendship with him I ignored all the red flags, my own rise in anxiety, the isolation I felt. I felt so much pressure to fit into his equation, to be a supportive friend, to keep track of how he was feeling that I stopped taking care of my own mental health.

All the while he got angry for people not checking on him when he asked for space, threw a fit when anyone failed to accommodate his whims, and even accused his three closest friends of purposefully excluding him by taking screenshots without him in them or even hanging out together when he was offline..

And he would have people believe that most of the issues he was involved in centered on his friends not communicating with him. But in my case at least, nothing could be further from the truth.

I told him I felt uncomfortable with the fact his (at the time) friend had publicly lashed out at me in his discord server for stating my opinion. He suggested I work harder to befriend this person, that he couldn't and wouldn't approach his friend about it because he wasn't a FC member and only there as a friend of himself and his two closest friends.

He lashed out at a former friend (and FC mate) of mine -on my behalf- because they wouldn't stop messaging me while I was at work... And when this person subsequently put me on blast thinking I had put him up to it I mentioned considering posting my side of the story- to initially be shamed (by the person mentioned above) for suggesting I protect myself, stating it could make things worse for the people who had already publicly attacked this person...

I approached him about another former friend of his angrily ranting about a character I had though at the time they knew I was planning to RP (I had spoken about it both in-game and in a discord we all shared) because I didn't know them well enough to feel comfortable saying that made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in the space. I approached my former friend because I knew from experience he took things like this seriously and he was the one who had invited this character TO role play in the first place.

He reacted by telling this person he had no idea why I was upset, asked them to address an issue they had no context for - prompting them to write an apology, and then reinforced their worry that I hated them by saying I "probably disliked them since [I] hadn't written them an apology" in return. I had thought they both wanted to drop the subject because he stopped responding about the situation.

He decided the situation was resolved and kept inviting us around one another for at least four months while keeping up the illusion that I disliked this person despite me trying to remain friendly- and said nothing about the situation until AFTER he had nuked his FC and almost everyone was done with his bullshit. I had asked him to be honest about the situation and finally got "[name] thinks you dislike him" ???

(I might add more details about these situations because it's honestly much more of a mess than it might seem, but I'd probably have to write a fucking book to explain everything well in-sequence of events.)

But those examples aside, I told him up front that the favoritism he showed and my concerns being glossed over was messing with my head, that I didn't know if I felt safe in his FC, that the whole situation was making me feel like I was losing my grip on reality, that at one point feeling like I was being discouraged from defending myself was beginning to make me feel su*cidal. These are things he knew.

He reacted to this ignoring both cause and effect, ignoring me unless I reached out first or it concerned RP, continually inviting me to hang out with people he knew I felt uncomfortable with (or vice versa) and normally turning down anything I invited him to do otherwise- including several times that I offered to help him with Eden or dungeons he wanted to farm when he previously said he was free to do so. A couple of times he declined saying he was waiting to see if he could convince another friend... and then threw a fit about 'no one wanting to help him' despite declining my offer and not reaching out to me after his other friend declined (I was still online but he decided to vent on discord instead).

Behind my back he talked shit about me, enough that someone who had known him 10 years and was familiar with his behavioral patterns qualified it 'constant' bashing, whenever I came up in conversation. And even included confronting me about the three situations I mentioned above in a plan he was working on to 'fix' his FC, as if he thought I was reaching out to him to stir up drama.

Eventually it came out that the friend I mentioned in the first example was emotionally abusing his friends (and I found out later told him two of them were talking shit about him- prompting HIM to lash out at them). One of them mentioned that person had still been talking shit about me 6 months later on a private account and when I got upset that THREE people I had thought were my friends didn't tell me, I made a few jokes in poor taste (that I do now regret) about the situation to try and prevent myself from having a mental break down.

The person he led to believe I hated left the discord server at that point and he decided to divert some of the blame for (in his words) 'being worried for this person's life' -whom he had attacked over the situation- to me... blaming them leaving and him having trouble contacting them on me.

I told him if this former friend was indeed attacking people and he was so worried we needed to talk about the situation, since in other situations his response was to ignore the hurt caused. He blew up about me messaging him at work, he blamed me for every situation I had brought to his attention. He went to his mods to rant about me and sent one of them to scope out the situation in hopes they could shut me up.

This is the friend of 10 years, who quickly became concerned and not for the reasons he had hoped. They shared a few screenshots of things said to gaslight me behind my back as the conversation progressed. Eventually the other mod jumped in and, knowingly or not proceeded to gaslight me FOR him, based on what they were told. By him.

They reinforced everything he was saying in guise of a neutral perspective and my efforts to prevent a full-scale breakdown failed. I lost all grip on reality for several days- in which at some point I wrote an apology to him for accusing him of several things that were later proven true- and one thing he, himself, proved he'd lied about to the other person involved.

I spent almost two weeks in a self-imposed social break to sort everything out and attempt to cope with what I was told was reality. I fell into the deepest depression I've been in since I had to run away from home, and honestly if it wasn't for my wonderful SO and our house mates, I might have really hurt myself.

It turns out another situation had been brewing parallel to my own. People had been coming to the social mod, the friend of 10 years, with their own worries about him. Almost every. Single. Member. Including at least four people who came forward with fears that if they did a single thing that he interpreted as an insult or threat they would find themselves exiled, called out, and ranted about in a jumbled mix of truth and fictional-malice until their own friends turned on them to support his victim complex.

These four people came forward on the condition that their names be kept anonymous to protect their identity. He didn't take kindly to this, quickly demanding names so they (his mod team) could handle the situation. The mod refused, knowing he has a history of lashing out at any criticism against him and to protect those who were already afraid of bringing the problems up to Morgy.

He reacted by lashing out at this person, claiming they ruined his life, and attempting to weed out those who had spoken out against him by kicking anyone he didn't feel 'safe' being around from his FC. He posted a message in his FC discord about resuming his 'reign of terror'... Which, even if it was a joke, was in in poor taste after pruning his FC of anyone he didn't think could be convinced of his 'good intentions.'

I missed this first culling of his FC members, I assume, because I had apologized and at the time submitted to his version of events. He approached me soon after I noticed the changes in the discord and FC roster; claiming he really wanted to work things out and remain friends- going as far as to say he was so nervous about my reaction that he was shaking.

I wanted to take him at face value despite everything that happened because yeah, I did want to believe he was sincere, that he was a good friend, and that all of it had been an unfortunate misunderstanding. And at first I did until I started talking to other people who knew him and getting their side of the story. Nothing he said added up. Between first-hand testimony and over a hundred screenshots from multiple people the ONLY things that were clear and consistent were that he lied and fit his narrative to whatever he wanted to achieve.

He tried to reduce conflict by omitting information, he controlled people's perception of one another by how he spoke about them and how close he let them to himself and others, he built a support group by polarizing his friends against his 'enemies' and if anyone had a problem with him... They were wrong, and got added to the pile of 'aggressors' he had accumulated over the years, to be bashed and spit on for years to come.

He may have sensed my change in opinion when I directly asked him to help me reach out to the person who thought I disliked them- managed to come to an understanding and we mutually apologized for the situation... Without his meddling. Or maybe when he realized I was still on talking terms with the people he had lashed out at and directly asked him why he had kicked people who did absolutely nothing to him... Or it could be that I kept in contact with the person who 'ruined his life' by trying to protect his friends from him. I don't know.

While we were still talking he tried to identify with me and bond over the feeling of loosing the FC, a group of people that despite the anxiety, and pain I had felt in the environment he'd built I did deeply respect and care about... Despite the dissolution of that group and the abuse I suffered being -at the core- his own fault. He even went as far as to say my description of the PTSD and fear I was experiencing described exactly how he was feeling, too.

As our conversations further weighed on my mental health I had to take a break from interacting with him. I was honest again, with what I was told, what I knew, and asked him for honesty about the situation... What he had said about me behind my back and why because I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted to see if he would acknowledge the harm he caused both to me and the rest of the (former) FC.

He never did, and probably won't. He asked for some time to tend to his own stress levels and mental health and then blocked me on all social media and discord, and kicked me from his FC without ever making an effort to reach out.

Of the few people who are still close to him, one of them suggested that "maybe he just decided he didn't want to be friends anymore." But after him begging to have a conversation to iron out all the facts, claiming to be so anxious about such a conversation going well that he was 'shaking', admitting that what he did hurt people and that my being wary of him was understandable, asking me -directly- to let him know if he did anything 'shady', and stressing he REALLY wanted this conversation to take place when we were both able to handle it because of how important he felt it was...

I feel like its fair to say that him suddenly cutting off all contact isn't quite so simple. He could have done that at any point. Before pointedly ignoring my concerns, before gaslighting me, before blaming me for the results of his own actions, before accepting an apology for accusing him of things he did legitimately do, and certainly before directly telling me had no real problems with me, that he it was super important to him that we remain friends, and that I deserved his honesty.

I'm not going to try and tell anyone who they should be friends with or not. Frankly, people can change and in a lot of cases experiences with individuals will be different.

But on that same note, if I had known then what I know now I might have saved myself from roughly two years of anxiety and avoided the state of dissonance I now find myself in. I still have moments where I want to doubt the things I experienced first hand. My mind is still trying to repress my own memories to cope.

A part of me still cares about him despite everything because as far as I knew, he was my friend and I am still trying to reconcile what I found to be true.

At this point I feel like I should say please don't harass Morgy if you read this, but honestly? If you have any reason to hold him accountable go for it. He needs it. And if you have any gut feelings about him or anyone in his circle please listen to it. The few supporters he still has are willing to ignore anything he has done previous to the fall of his FC and have shown they are willing to debate and accuse people who speak out about legitimate concerns involving him.

If anyone has any questions I am willing to answer them and share the proof I have.

And in the off chance anyone wants to (further) argue with me about my experiences or whether or not I suffered enough to be considered a victim, please Google some images of a hand giving the middle finger. But if after that you still really want to play stupid games? I can find you some stupid prizes.

I don't owe him my silence. Or peace of mind. The only thing I owe him is to be as entirely, brutally, honest as possible given the information I have. I think it's a fair offer considering the mind-numbing volume of honesty he -still- owes all of us.

- - - - -

I may add more onto this. Unfortunately the entire situation is a lot more complex, but I wanted to get the backbone of my own experiences out there and there is so much bullshit it can't all be seen from any one direction. A lot of the circumstantial evidence loops back into other situations and makes it hard to comprehensively represent everything on any sort of singular timeline. As I said in the beginning there is a reason it took a small group 6 months to piece it together.

I am far from the only person hurt, and the entire situation was a mess with people feeling unnerved or pressured into going along with his agenda. For the most part now that I have more context I don't blame most of the people involved for their own actions. I fully support those who can't or won't come forward about the situation whether they just want out of his drama, or are afraid to come forward.

#ffxiv community #ffxiv rp #Morganaux #Morgy #Ser Noudenet #ffxiv twitter

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roleplay-salt · 4 years

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About; Rules; FAQ

Welcome to Roleplay Salt! This is a blog for roleplayers to vent & rant anonymously about the things that peeve or hurt them in the roleplaying community.

GENERAL

Your submission will always be posted anonymously; no exceptions. (This includes positivity submissions & shoutouts.)

Your submission’s text will be placed in a graphic and then copied as plain text as its caption for accessibility purposes.

Topics must be roleplay-related. (This can, of course, include experiences with partners doing things that may be unrelated to roleplay, but would still be considered relevant if it impacts your roleplaying experience with that particular partner.)

Anyone following our blog will be allowed to leave replies on submissions, whether in agreement or disagreement, and everyone is allowed (even encouraged) to reblog submissions, with or without their own commentary. However, we will delete any spamming comments, including ones that are or are similar to “Why don’t you come off anon and say that?” Such comments provide nothing to the discussion. In fact, they usually shut down discussion and it completely disregards the entire point of this blog’s existence. No one has to “come off anon” nor are they “cowards” for seeking safety behind anonymity. Your aggressiveness with that sentiment only reinforces the reason why they want to be anonymous in the first place. ADDENDUM: We will delete salt replies that involve simply telling others to, essentially, “shut up and move on already” and “stop sending salt replies in about this”. You’re more than allowed to say this things in the comments, but we will no longer be making them a part of any future debates.

We actively edit and restructure the wording of submissions. We read every single one of your submissions and we care about consistency and readability. We will correct any spelling errors, grammar errors, and odd sentencing structure, and we will often lengthen abbreviations and slang, and we will fill out any curse words or sensitive terms that were originally 'censored' in the submissions. Do not take it personally! Again, we aim for consistency. We will never just copy/paste your submission and then post it. That's terrible.

T Y P E S O F S A L T

Vents & Rants

Complaints

Negative Confessions

Callouts

T Y P E S O F S U G A R

Advice & Suggestions

Critique

Positive Confessions

Shoutouts

T Y P E S O F F L O U R

The “Flour” category is reserved for any submissions that do not appropriately fit under “Salt” or “Sugar”, often involving personal confessions and storytelling.

C A L L O U T S & S H O U T O U T S

A callout submission is specifically speaking nastily and meanly about someone else, regardless if it’s the truth or not. All URLs & names in a callout submission will be marked out to preserve the other party’s anonymity as well. We are a safe place for you to release your anger, frustration and hurt, even if it’s towards someone and not something. But we cannot and will not participate in the true nature of a callout. That will need to be something that you do for yourself if you believe that it’s important for you, your friends and your fandom community.

A shoutout submission is specifically speaking kindly and positively about someone else.

All URLs & names in a shoutout submission will remain visible, and the person will be tagged & mentioned on the post so as to better the odds of them seeing it.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

“Who are the moderators?”

Currently, there is only one operating the blog: Moderator Bull.

“Am I allowed to know your roleplay/personal blogs?”

Unfortunately, no. To preserve our own anonymity (for many of the same reasons as the submitters), we have agreed on the terms to never give out our URLs if requested. If we are interested in your blog, then we will follow you at our own discretion!

“Will you remove a submission for me?”

That depends on the type of submission, what it is about, and what your reasoning for wanting it removed is. The whole point of anonymity is that nothing gets tied back to you. The only cases where we will greatly consider removing a submission is if it’s involving a shoutout about you and you don’t want to be affiliated with us.

“Will you remove my comments on a submission?”

Of course! However, we will not remove any corresponding responses to you (except in instances where, if yours is removed, the next comment is made to look like it’s being directed to the person prior to your comment. We don’t want to cause unnecessary conflict.) We will also not be relied upon to keep deleting comments you regret leaving behind. If you’re wanting to leave a public response on submissions, then you must be prepared to have others possibly publicly disagree with you.

“Can I ask you for roleplay advice?”

Go right ahead! But we can’t promise the best or most insightful of answers, or that we’ll get to them relatively soon! Chances are, we will post your questions anonymously so that others in the community can help.

“Why did you follow my blog?”

To make our existence known to you and, if you like us, hoping that you will send in a submission of your own or tell your roleplay partners about us!

“How did you find my blog?”

Most likely through the Recommended sidebar feature, a mutual, or just the good ol’ search function.

“Could you unfollow me?”

If you don’t want to be associated with us, then we recommend blocking the blog so that we don’t unintentionally follow you again!

“Hey, could you do something about the people leaving rude, mean responses on the submissions?”

Unless they are throwing bigoted slurs, threats, or suicide-baiting remarks at the anonymous submitter, they are not doing anything wrong. They have just as much right to disagree with your submission as you had when you sent it to us. We are, first and foremost, a place to vent frustrations or hurts behind the safety of anonymity, and we are also a free-speech blog. We are of the belief that discussions, no matter how heated, is healthy and brings the community together as a whole. Just as your submission may provide someone else with the awareness that they are not alone in similar frustrations, someone disagreeing with your submission may provide a new perspective to you and others that had not been considered before.

“How does name-calling and swearing and being mean add to a discussion? You and your blog are what are wrong with the roleplaying community!”

Just because someone isn’t being nice to you as they give their side of the argument, doesn’t mean that it cancels out their actual argument. You’re choosing to be offended and distracted by how abrasive they are, and that’s no one’s problem to deal with but your own. You have the ability to block anyone so that you no longer have to see their comments on future submissions. Why would we police what people say, the endgame of which would be to ban them from ever reblogging or commenting on submissions again if they don’t listen to us, if you’re not even willing to try solving the problem first by just blocking them? Wanting to have the last word or being upset that your submission didn’t receive the feedback you wanted is not a reason for us to step in and step on someone else’s right to speak, rudely or otherwise. If you’re not going to block them, then why should we?

“Could you not post submissions on sensitive topics like noncon, incest, and pedophilia?”

We have started tagging posts that we believe might be sensitive and controversial in nature with the tag “#twcontroversy”. We recommend blacklisting this tag. If that is still not enough, then we recommend unfollowing/blocking us. These are topics just as relevant in the roleplaying community as anything else.

“Could you promote me?”

Certainly! But only if you are another community-involved blog (a blog that provides a ‘service’ to the community, such as advice, roleplay help, a place for confessions, etc.), and it must be relevant to the roleplaying community to some degree! If you want to promote a roleplay blog, then we suggest sending in a shoutout submission!

“I sent a confession in weeks ago. Where is it? How long will it take for it to get posted?”

It’s either sitting in the queue or sitting in our drafts, waiting to be queued. We have 1,200+ followers so far, and on average we’re sent 15+ submissions a night. We only post between 5 to 8 submissions at night. Your submission is on a wait list. That’s all we can tell you.

“Why don’t you just close your submission box until all the current confessions are posted?”

Because we’re a vent blog first and foremost. If we close our ask/submission boxes, then we’re no longer an option for people who might desperately need to vent or talk about something that could have happened to them that day but have no other options. We want to be a healthy alternative to just bottling it up or possibly lashing out at the wrong people.

“I don’t believe you! I think you deleted my submission because one of you didn’t like it! You’re not unbiased at all!”

We’ve posted submissions about highly controversial roleplay topics like noncon, racism, transphobia, and pedophilia. We reassure you that your salt submission about OCs, theme trends, blog selectivity, etc. is not on that same level, least of all to the point that one of us would delete it. The only submissions that we have deleted, so far, are the ones that have included racial and homophobic slurs.

“[insert OP/commenter] is obviously a rapist/pedophilie!”

If we find that you have accused someone of being a rapist, pedophile, or apologist of either because of their defensive views on noncon/pedophilic ships or roleplay, your comment will be removed and you will be blocked. These are serious accusations that you shouldn’t be throwing at people over fictional content and we refuse to to let you use this blog as a platform to spew such slanderous accusations.

#about #rules #faq

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