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cookinguptales · 9 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

You know... I put off answering this for a while because I just could not choose five. And I still can't?? I have so many fics I've written, many of them for fandoms of one, and I find that I actually love a lot of them.

So... if you'll forgive me, I think I'll just talk about a whole bunch of fics that I love for a whole bunch of reasons.

(cut because... I really do talk about a lot of fics lmao)

I think these days a lot of people follow me for WWDITS/nandermo fic. It's one of my current loves, and I've really enjoyed writing for this fandom. I do wonder if I'll keep writing after nandermo becomes canon (or gets sunk for good) but in the meantime... I guess I'll just keep having a good time?

I think my favorite fic I've ever written for WWDITS is Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, Too. I was looking at a bunch of prompts for the Trick-or-Treat Exchange (more on that later) and I ended up smushing several of them together in my head. But then the story really got away from me, I guess, as I really started to delve deep into Nandor's mind (a WILD place to be, I'm telling you) and it ended up not being posted for another month. Whoops?

Either way, though, I feel like I was really able to get at some of the ideas I'd been juggling with the characters for a long time at that point, and I think the prose itself was very nice at times. I did complicated things with that fic that I haven't done before, and in the end... I think I did a good job! It's probably the fic I'm proudest of in this fandom.

That said, I'd like to give Honorable Mentions to both When We Sway (I Go Weak) and Five Times Guillermo Helped Nandor Collect Semen (And One Time He Didn't) just because both of those fics involved me getting wildly out of my comfort zone. I think both of them seem a bit... outdated, maybe, after s4 and s5, but I think they match the tone of s3 nicely.

Sway was heavy on pining, something I feel like I'm good at writing, but also very heavy on physical action. As many of you know, I'm disabled! I have never waltzed. The kind of movement I described in that fic is not easy for me to do myself, and action scenes have always been difficult for me to write fluidly. So the fact that I was able to write both dancing and fighting convincingly in that fic made me really relieved. I got several comments from dancers telling me how well I'd captured dancing with a partner and like. PHEW. I did a ton of research and bro I was RELIEVED. So I do feel very proud of that.

Even more outside of my wheelhouse was both 5+1 things fics. I'd written a little bit of porn before this, even some for nandermo, but not much and I was largely dissatisfied with it. But boy did I get a lot of practice with those fics. lmao. It was essentially 11 sex scenes of various levels of filth loosely strung together with longing, and like... honestly, I'm very pleased at how most of them turned out! And I think I'm a lot better at writing porn now, even if it always turns out very fucking weird and introspective.

Speaking of weird.

The other fandom I love dearly these days is Sleep No More, which I've been writing for for several years. For a long time, I mostly just wrote this one for exchanges? Mostly ToT and Yuletide. I love writing for SNM, an interactive theater situation in NYC, because I can really fuck around with writing styles. I can play with ideas about religion and folklore and magic and blood and storytelling and tradition, and I can do it while writing some of the most fucked-up relationships that exist. I can play with a show that has very little spoken word, where a slap and a kiss might be in the same loosely choreographed dance, where I get to be a part of this haunted house, but only as a ghost...

While I'm sure the very few people who usually read my SNM fic might disagree, I think my favorite thing I've ever written for SNM is It's A Sin to Tell A Lie. It was my first time really trying to assemble a semi-coherent narrative from the show (largely inspired by some things that I realize now were not always common experiences in the show lmao) so I'm not sure it always aligns with how I see the characters now, but I feel like I wrote a really haunting fic that used the source material in interesting ways.

The Honorable Mention this time goes to The Consequence of Sounds, which is probably the strangest thing I've ever written. A friend of mine joked that she'd like it even if someone wrote like a haunted space hotel AU for the show and that apparently scratched something insane in my brain, so... I wrote a fic that combined space opera, Macbeth, Scottish folk magic, and the music of the spheres.

It's....... very weird. But it was also so fun to write, and I think it was fairly successful. I think the point of fanfiction is weaving together a familiar canon in a brand-new way, and I had fun bringing odd little allusions and old ideas into a new AU. I had to get really creative and that was so fun.

Speaking of weird AUs... I wrote a lot of them when I used to write karabita. haha. This is another one of those fandoms that I picked up a lot of followers with, though idk if any still follow me. Osomatsu-san was a weird comedy show that threw itself into surrealism and AUs very often, and that allowed me to do the same. I think... out of the many, many karabita fics I wrote, my favorite might be Love's Carriers, which is a flower shop AU I wrote out of spite after someone told me that all flower shop AUs are terrible. I worked really, really hard to make the AU suit the characters rather than the other way around while also incorporating flower language, one of my favorite stupid tropes. Again, I think this one came out surprisingly well, especially considering I wrote it in like... 24 hours in a fit of pique. lmao.

Other fics I remember being very proud of in that era... uh... The odd karabita KH AU that no one read because there is basically zero crossover between those fandoms... The soulmark AU because I am WEAK to those... The wingfic... ah... the wingfic... I don't know if I'd use words like "best" or "favorite" for that wingfic, but... I do think it's probably the most I've ever put of myself into a fic. The anxieties re: love and disability that I put into that fic were so real that I still cry every time I look at certain parts of it. I've grown as a person since writing it, but... yeah, those are still fears that haunt me. So I guess I could say it feels the most "me" of any of them I ever wrote.

Other than that... I guess we end up in my exchange fic era. I spent many years writing fic of extremely variable quality for exchanges lmao. I think the most successful was undoubtedly there's not a word yet (for old friends who just met), the muppets slash fic that launched... god, honestly. like. I know I did not create a fandom, but being in at the ground floor and being the one that everyone came to talk to when the pairing DID get off the ground was surreal. lmao. I created that tag on AO3! Everyone said I was crazy for writing that fic! Then they read it and they fell in love a little bit! Then the pairing became canon and everything went bananas! What a weird, surreal, delightful fandom experience.

That Muppets fic really came from the heart and really just came from me writing a fic during a very difficult time in my life and wanting to create a love letter to the characters that got me through it. I wanted to make other people feel the way The Muppets made me feel, and the fact that I succeeded in that (against all odds!) really does make that one special to me.

But... I wrote a ton of exchange fics for tiny, tiny fandoms that most people have never considered! Weird spooky crossover f/f ships, like my Crazy Rich Asians/Ready Or Not Astrid/Grace fic, or my Stoker/Sharp Objects India/Amma fic! Rarepairs like my Kimi no Na wa (Your Name) f/f Mitsuha/Miki fic! An unhinged lost episode of Puppet History! Character studies of dear little elderly murderers in Arsenic and Old Lace!

I also wrote sort of quasi-original fic, especially for the ToT exchange. Ghosts of dinosaurs falling in love with each other in a museum (inspired by a real historical case of the wrong skull being on a skeleton -- and god, that one has a hilarious IRL story attached to it) and a pet shop full of the ghosts of animals longing for companionship and grim reapers grappling with life and death and forbidden love. Mann I loved writing those.

And honestly??? I could write entire posts about any of the fics I'm talking about here. I love them, especially the ones that weren't really loved by anyone else. Hell, I'm turning that pet shop into an extended f/f origific right now.

Writing fic for tiny fandoms of one or two for an exchange feels so bittersweet because you can make that person really happy (and, not to toot my own horn, but I tend to make recipients really happy in exchanges) but it just kind of... fades away. Those stories sometimes have very short lifespans just because they're really just for one person. It's not a good or bad thing, just the nature of exchanges. I love designing a fic that's tailored to one person's likes, dislikes, and deepest desires. It's so fun for me. But it is kind of sad to see those fics fall by the wayside after. So I have to love them enough to make up for it. haha.

Finally... a fic I adored writing, that absolutely consumed me, and it's for a fandom that is basically nonexistent. I loved going to Meow Wolf's House of Eternal Return and experiencing the work of hundreds of artists all coming together to make something great. I wanted to add my art, too. No one is out here looking for HoER fic, especially not for the pairing I wrote, but like. BOY, if there's any fic I've ever written that's the definition of "I wrote this for me", it's Gnosis.

Anyway, yeah, I've been posting fic on AO3 for *checks* almost 15 years now, so I guess it makes sense that I can't narrow this down to just five, lmao. But I'm also trying not to go on too much.

But seriously, seriously, if anyone wants me to talk more about these fics or any other that I've written, I would be so incredibly happy to give you a play-by-play of what I was thinking, what I was trying to do, what I liked, what I disliked, what I'd change now, what changed me, etc. I think any author would be haha.

But I'll cut this short now!! As for who to tag... honestly, since I read so much fiction for a living these days, I don't really read fanfic anymore. I'm not sure who I follow writes it anymore. I have most fic tags filtered, being real with you. So... how about this. If you are a writer and you want me to tag you, just lmk!!! And I will send you the message.

#ask games #writing liveblogging

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laughingpinecone · 8 months

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Yuletide 2023 letter

AO3: laughingpineapple

(treats welcome, AO3 settings a-ok in that respect)

Hello and thank you for writing for me! I hope you’ll have a great time playing with one of these wonderful canons!

I love a wide variety of fics - from strict gen to explicit, any tense, any format, big yes to all kinds of weird experiments up to and including external povs, found documents, interactive fiction etc. In general, I love canon expansion (showing new places/events/stuff in the setting or exploring those that are barely mentioned, just outside the borders), character work of all stripes (expanding on little quirks, putting characters in situations that complement/challenge certain personality traits of theirs, just… observing these weirdos as they live their lives, for better and for worse), magical realism and adjacent approaches. I eat up emotional moments with a spoon when a fic is character-centric (pining! danger! catharsis! hurt/comfort! the nitty-gritty of attraction!) and also love abstract stuff that at most touches shrimp emotions from afar: fake academia, a wider focus, inhuman povs, anything goes.

For both romance and friendships, I love it when it’s clear (not necessarily to the characters themselves, but to the narrative) what it is that they like about each other, how they get along, if and how they trust each other. The specificity of each dynamic! I also love it when the characters are very into something that makes sense for them, be it a hobby or a kink or whatever, even if it’s something I may not personally care for.

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, pregnancies, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents and paired-up OC randos are okay!), canon retellings

Ghost Trick and Pyre are old staples, prompts and musings in my old letters always apply! There's some PJÕL too in the last two. And now, in strict alphabetical order and with the usual disclaimer that shorter prompts don’t mean I want it any less:

GHOST TRICK (Cabanela, Jowd)

I'm into Alma/Jowd/Cabanela or Alma/Jowd&Cabanela, or any Jowd/Cabanela that doesn't downplay/erase the canon relationship (anything set during the game timeline or in alternate scenarios where they don't reset, for example!), or even one-sided on Cabs' end and Jowd caring for him in a different way, or a Very (Very) Intense Friendship. Shippy or not, for me the draw is that these two are an unstoppable/immovable pair of burning determination and cosmic pessimism, big on loyalty (or at least being on the receiving end of it in Jowd's case) and being two difficult individuals who can and do get on people's nerves in record time but just fit with each other so easily… and ace the broccoli test like nbd. when they want to. which they might not. In Sissel's own words, whatever these two have got going on, warm or cold, it's "immeasurably deep" and I love to see that OTT play out in any way. And feel free to add anyone else in the tagset if your idea leads you that way, I love them all dearly. Pigeon Man, for example - we only see his grump complement Cabanela's energy, but how does he play off Jowd, toward whom he is extremely loyal? Alma, of course, what's your take on her, there are so many great possibilities - could she be as cheerfully nihilistic as her husband, when push comes to shove? Or what about Missile the little warrior with his own brand of unstoppability? Is there a supernatural/ghostly situation Jowd and Cabanela (and Alma? or Lynne? Sissel?) walk into that sees them well on top of their game thanks to their experience with the friendly ghost cat in the house? Or something eerie that's out of their wheelhouse even with Sissel's ghost tricks? What about a beach day but also a hiking trip, snowed in, anything? Dancing? Does Cabanela fail to remain spotless in any sense, ranging from oily bike repairs to more serious symbolic scenarios?

Ship-wise, Jowd falling in love fascinates me. Cabanela feels like he's been down bad for an impossible target for some time (or two, conveniently married to each other) but for Jowd it all comes at such an awkward moment. He was ready to die and hurt them all posthumously (with the music box twist) to make it easier for them to leave him behind, and now what's this? He may not even have considered being into men before, what's that like, when does he realize that that's what's happening? Then it turns out his old friend laid down his life for him??? wild. and then he's ten years younger again, with a loving family and a Sparklesue of a friend-colleague-rival, and all these memories…

Fandom-specific DNWs: Cabanela-Yomiel reconciliations, everyone having memories of the old timeline

PÜHA JA ÕUDNE LÕHN | SACRED AND TERRIBLE AIR (Ignus Nilsen)

So there's this man of extremes (even for Elysium standards) who lived and fought for the burning belief in a better world, who left his homeland with a double middle finger and somehow, in a foreign land, grew devoted to a good man and his ideals and theory, their theory, and then lost him and their hope at once, and still tried to keep going, to begin anew, and failed there too, and even after his death in exile his beliefs did not waver. Always a live wire. He loved the world, every atom of it. A man whose devotion was so intense that it had to be erased from history, giving birth to a different legend instead. As a friend once put it, the spectre of communism is real and he's a bitter old queen.

I ship him and Mazov very much (dialectically, ideologically, handholdingly, through the ages and in the eternity of the pale, everything he says about the man sounds like the yearning of a sad old lover), and Mazov himself I love in every aspect. If you go down this path, I'm good with period-typical internalized homophobia being a thing in the fic. INTENSE HANDHOLDING ACTION very welcome. Also in-universe Mazov/Nilsen academic discussion, earnest sculptors, zines etc. But also: Ion Rodionov thirdwheeling into their life like a stray cat and supporting their idea even knowing that it would fail is amazing. The fact that Nilsen indulged his whims in their exile (the orchestra, really?) and presumably got his apocalyptic moniker from him (we know that it's because he warned people of the apocalypse) paints an interesting friendship to me, especially in the raw times after Mazov's death. The Zigi&Nilsen camping trip is a delight and I'll always want more of that, and of Zigi himself, and of what Nilsen saw in him, and the other way round. Or what about the time Zigi spent with the Lund sisters while Nilsen went ballistic over teen girl mags, 'cause that sure was something canon felt the need to inform us of. Idk how to fit in Tereesz but if they met I'm sure it'd make for an interesting conversation. And rounding up the tagset IT'S AMBROSIUS WITH A STEEL CHAIR omg best tagset surprise ever. I am incredibly fascinated both by Nilsen's (and Zigi's!) opinions on the ruling Innocence, and by the possibility that bb Ambrosius may have met all the future heads of the Revolution when he was being tutored by Ion, and/or that the failure of the Revolution may have been a turning point in his beliefs. Outside the tagset, anything with Sport is bound to be terribadamazing bc Sport, and Ukhotomsky was around as another of Mazov's close friends but was the exact opposite of Ignus so that could make for interesting scenarios.

Some prompts: does his consciousness in the pale (subjectively either before or after his adventure with Zigi) meet some interesting people à la Nadia n Frantiček the Brave - "5 historical figures he met who are not Mazov + 1 long-awaited reunion" sort of thing? Some examples of Teachers Being Like That feat. him and Rodionov? Sitcom-tier shenanigans with the upper echelons of the revolution + that kid with the rancid vibes that Ion brought in? In case Nilsen's canon lil treatise on "early homebrewing" referred to tabletop homebrewing, what did their gaming look like - was it an early form of roleplaying proper or, like, reconceptualizing chess or Monopoly? What about any of his exiles, given how he was first thrown out of Katla, then Graad, then they tried to kill him in Samara too and he spent his last days in exile and according to a throwaway line he counts as one of Elysium's great disappearances (does Khan have some fun intel on all that, or maybe Ulv)? Did the various pale crossings mess him up? What about the crossing of the lungs of Graad, toward the interisolary pale, with the blood of thousands of prisoners still fresh behind them? Or how'd he take his hut era, when did those feral months in the polar wilderness happen in his timeline, what kind of weirdness can we expect above Elysium's polar circle, did he have Mazov to return to in Graad and just how emotional can we make this reunion? Any scenario like "idk, Kras Mazov was like 70% of my impulse control"? What was it like, gaining consciousness in the near pale and becoming more than Zigi's dialectic frenemy (or was there always a glimpse of him)? Did they feel uniquely cut off from the pale that surrounded them? Did they ever talk about Ambrosius? Did he ever pull off some other godly rhetoric stunt like reverting the pale through stubbornness and conviction alone? Some identity musings based on all three heads of the revolution going under new names, and considering them nom de guerre? Something about Ignus' troubled relationship with his homeland - as it goes, he fought hard to deny the Vaasan allegations and Vaasa fought harder to deny the him allegations? What about his blacksmithing skills (and what makes one an apocalyptic blacksmith, specifically - how do these two things go together)? Or any of his numerous Opinions which he penned on so many topics? Or just slap him (in person or cytoplasmically, 's not like death or censorship could stop him) in a Situation that has some weird worldbuilding in it?

Fandom-specific DNWs: that reddit theory about Målin being pregnant with Zigi's child. I'm open to a variety of options for the sisters' disappearance but should it come up I would prefer if it were their decision to vanish, a decision dictated by some kind of (non-bourgeois) ideology, and for Zigi to be loyal to all four of them. I would also prefer Nilsen's big hangup about his fellow communists to follow the translation which sees them as "prey" rather than "beasts". Relatedly, should it come up, "Failure. Failure shapes the world" rather than "Futility". And please do not excuse his grandiose shittiness. The misogyny is what it is and ditto the war crimes, etc.

PYRE (Volfred Sandalwood)

I’m so charmed by this smug revolutionary tree it’s not even funny. Make up any situation in which he can do his thing and I’ll be happy - be sort of full of himself but also sort of rightfully so, pragmatic to a fault except when he’s overwhelmed by grief, bearing the burden of taking care of the practical side of an impossible shared vision (and seeing it fail before it started and eventually picking up the pieces and starting again), long-winded and very much in love with his voice (also rightfully so) and also that’s what history professors are like, extremely charismatic, a mind reader with a higher calling which is always a dangerous combo when it comes to maybe going a step too far. I love this story set at the end of a cycle and I’m enamoured with characters who have enough historical awareness to acknowledge it and see that it’s up to them to bring about a new era. Canon’s bittersweet idealism is catnip to me.

I love him with Tariq who seems to be as charmed by him as I am (the shy, vague title of Volfred’s theme combined with its James Bond vibes are a killer combo. Tariq please) and with Oralech who’s maybe the only guy who can go “Volfred no” when needed. With oldest friend Bertrude with all the camaraderie it entails and all the Nightwings, really. Volfred & Hedwyn! & Rukey! & Pamitha! & ae!!!

I would also be interested in seeing him face people from the other triumvirates in more or less friendly situations - generally sticking close to canon for the level of danger they might pose. Volfred & Dalbert bonding and fanboying the Scribes on one end; Udmildhe maybe being a real actual threat on the other end, with Extreme Sap Drama Volfred VS Manley somewhere in the middle - Volfred haaates having to deal with Manley and what is fanfiction for if not bothering our faves? Or Volf VS Brighton for that matter, with more intense levels of annoyance and pomp and juicy ideological clashes. In these cases I wouldn’t be interested in a reconciliation, and I don’t sympathize with Manley nor Brighton but I do find them very funny and good characters in their own right and I’m just here with popcorn for the catfight. How’d it go if he had to spend some time with Ignarius? Or Celeste? And of course when it comes to the True Nightwings, things get loaded - Volfred/Oralech-wise, does Volfred get a treacherous "oh no he's super hot now" moment sneaking in between the piles of complicated feelings and hurt and confusion?

As general Volf prompts: revolutionary bonding, be it with Oralech (early on or after everything), or awakening Some Things in Tariq, or Bertie or anyone else who'll share that vision. Downside ending being a strange kind of freedom for someone who's been driven all his life. Opinions on the Scribes! Overly detailed, strong Opinionssss on tiny details like you'd expect from your average academic, and whom is he talking to? Someone who agrees? Someone who knows more than him (Tariq, ae…)? Someone who hates those guys' guts (Sandra, Oralech…)? He’s a natural schemer, does he naturally assume that everyone else is also scheming 24/7? Does anyone (my bet’s on Pam) find out that he literally graded the Nightwings’ usefulness to the Plan? Is he a chain smoker or is it a one pipe a day kind of deal?

I don’t have specific headcanons about Sap biology; if you do, please tell me all about them. With or without Tariq’s or Oralech’s involvement (whose biology is probably also delightfully weird). Capital-letter-Reading can also be involved! What’s it like to mind-meld with the actual moon, or to get permission from the guy who spent like six years hating your guts?

Ships: Volfred/Tariq, Volfred/Oralech, Volfred/Oralech/Tariq. I also like Pamitha/Bertrude and Celeste/Jodariel.

Fandom-specific DNWs: Oralech dead, Volfred and Oralech split end (I’m good with either topside or downside ending), Ignarius/Jodariel, Tariq/Celeste. The Reader being a central character in the fic.

THE SEA WILL CLAIM EVERYTHING (Any: The Mysterious-Druid, Niamh, Worldbuilding)

I got to play this game at last and I LOVE it. I'm in that starstruck-and-with-nobody-to-talk-about-it phase where I don't have many thoughts but I'd be over the moon to get anything that's vaguely in the tone of canon. Earnest, dreamy, filled with mushrooms… I'm familiar with the Postcard From Afthonia epilogue but not really with the rest of the Kyratzes' oeuvre - feel free to reference other stuff as long as it's in a way that'll make sense to a newbie reader! Or if it's something from the Oneiropolis Compendium, just drop me a line in the opening notes and I'll get caught up. In particular, I found the mentions of Oneiropolis proper very intriguing, in a certain 'classic fantastical literature' way, and I'd love to follow a beloved character like The a/o Niamh a/o anyone else on a trip there, but I don't know if there are works set there yet. An evening in Underhome, during the war? Some druiding stuff, The's addition to Underhome? Niamh's side of research (I love her so! This is what the ideal woman looks like, honestly)? Something dialectical, something marxist AND fungal? Any character visits Underhome? Or the library? Or the Isle of the Stars? I really like the Oracle, but anyone really. Everyone's really cool. If you can find a structure that'll accommodate a bunch of fun descriptions and asides, and let's not forget the mouse's opinions, that could be fun!

youtube

THE STRAIGHT STORY (Deer Woman) (technically a 5 minutes fandom since the above scene is all you need to know)

I recently caught a screening and was once again fascinated by that one standalone scene with the woman who seems cursed to hit deer with her car. Asking "so… what's up with that" felt like a Yuletide thing to do, so here I am! Please tell me anything about the woman who seems cursed to hit deer with her car! I'm open to all possibilities when it comes to the source of this peculiar predicament of hers, future developments, and her own psychological state. Feel free to get weird about it, of course - be it in a specifically lynchian, etherealwhooshy way or otherwise. Is this supernatural event vaguely & mysteriously grounded in some psychological issue of hers, reflecting her inner turmoil (what is it?), or is it a broader thing she got caught up in? Or is it a deer thing about deer? Twin Peaks crossovers welcome if that's where your imagination leads you (I'm familiar with the entire extended canon). Or Mulholland Drive or any other Lynch idk, it just feels kind of peaksy more than anything else, what with the, well, deer.

#letter #tis the season

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canoncannon · 5 years

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So, I have a prompt that won’t get out of my head. Jesus makes it a habit to visit Hobo Daryl whenever he is out on runs and stuff and they get to know each other, and eventually fall in love. It takes a long time. D is initially annoyed at the intrusion to his solitude, but Jesus cracks through his shell. They open up to each other and J eventually makes a move. Awkwardness insues. D is virginal and things don’t go smoothly. You are the goddess of awkward Desus, and you would rock this. 😘

This was prompted so, so long ago, and I kind of paused doing prompts to try to update my WIPs… it’s actually a continuation from my last ficlet (https://archiveofourown.org/works/10833258/chapters/40192958), but can also be read on its own I think.

@radiofreeamy thank you so much for the prompt, and I’m sorry it took me so long :)

“You ain’t gotta take the couch,” Daryl says, shifting his weight. He and his dog look both filthy and uncomfortably aware of it.

“You and Dog won’t fit on the couch,” Paul replies.

“She can sleep on the floor. Don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Daryl. It gets cold at night, even in here. Take the damn bed.”

Daryl leans down to pet the mutt. “You and your Jesus shtick. Always running people’s errands, giving people your food, letting people sleep in your bed.”

“By ‘running errands’ I think you mean ‘conducting trade negotiations.’ And my usual way of getting people into my bed is far from Christlike, I assure you.”

It’s something he’d have said without second thought in the woods. In his room, though, it feels too intimate. Too real.

“Pft. Explain all them women you’ve slept on the couch for, then.” Daryl’s not looking at him, still petting Dog.

“You want a shower? There’s warm water,” Paul says, because sure, asking Daryl to get naked will help ease the awkward tension in the room. He doesn’t so much as glance at Daryl as he adds another blanket to the couch, mentally berating himself.

—

In the woods, everything had been easy. Paul liked stopping in for a night or two to check on Daryl and flirt a little—occasionally even going so far as to think about taking things further than that, if only Daryl would give him a sign he was into it—before returning home and fucking Alex into the mattress.

Alex is with Wes now, and Daryl is ten feet away in Paul’s bed.

Having a stupid little crush on someone he only saw a couple dozen times a year had made it easy to dismiss the way he felt as unimportant—as, well, a stupid little crush. Having Daryl in the trailer is a different thing entirely.

They play checkers a lot. They eat breakfast that Daryl cooks while Paul struggles to drag himself awake, because coffee is now officially a thing of the past.

Which gets Paul thinking: in the past, if he was attracted to a guy, nine times out of ten he’d simply ask to kiss him. And it had usually worked out for him, at least for the night. With Daryl, that seems unimaginable. He’s never made friends easily, even before roamers started eating his available options. Losing Daryl, even if he gets to fuck him first—maybe especially if he gets to fuck him first—is unacceptable.

But there’s a look on Daryl’s face, sometimes, that makes him wish that he was be brave enough to risk it.

—

Paul falls asleep reading on the bed one night; there’s no light by the couch. Daryl doesn’t wake him up to move, and he wakes up to find Dog laying across both of their legs, head on Daryl’s foot and sharp nails against Paul’s shins.

Two nights later, he falls asleep there again, and pretends in the morning that it was an accident.

When he gets back to the trailer that evening, Daryl’s moves his pillow and blankets onto the bed. He blushes when Paul comes in, and Paul’s heart does something weird. Some might call it ‘skipping a beat’—Paul calls it a fucking betrayal.

—

“She wasn’t kidding. We started it two years ago.” Paul is laying on the bed that he tells himself they share for warmth. Dog is laying in the exact middle of the bed; she generally sleeps between them, as if guarding her master’s virtue. He glares at her, then scratches her ear.

“Does she even know for sure that it’s New Years Eve?” Daryl settles into the bed in his pajama bottoms and long-sleeved top. They’re all freezing their balls off this winter.

“I guess Gregory kept a calendar, and she took it over. It’s close enough, anyway.” Paul reaches for the light, then settles back into the bed. “We don’t have to go. We’ll sign up for watch.”

“I already told her I’d go. She just sprung it on me.”

“Sucks to be you, then,” Paul teases, and they fall silent for the night.

—

Paul had underestimated Maggie’s determination, though. Before he gets a chance to switch watch shifts with someone, giving them the loud, chaotic heat of a jam-packed Barrington library in exchange for a flashlight and Voltaire in the frosty silence, Alden oh-so-casually mentioned how important the party is to her, and how much she wants him there.

As if that wasn’t enough, the next day Maggie hunts him down while he’s doing laundry for the sole purpose of telling him that Daryl doesn’t know that many people at Hilltop yet, and will be more comfortable with Jesus around to distract him.

Paul knows when he’s being manipulated; he also knows when he’s been beaten. He gives in with fairly good grace.

—

The night of the party, he and Daryl sequester into a corner to be uncomfortable and drunk together.

Alex is across from them in the opposite corner, hanging all over Wes, suddenly comfortable with PDA in a way he’d never been with Paul. Granted, they’d never been an official item, but he’d made such a point of keeping his distance—and now he’s sitting on a couch practically in his new boyfriend’s lap, occasionally nuzzling his neck.

The worst part is that Alex isn’t even doing it to annoy him—he’s completely oblivious.

Daryl looks miserable, too, but then he always does when he’s surrounded by people.

Finally, midnight strikes.

—

Daryl definitely hadn’t planned it. In fact, he doesn’t know what he’s doing until he’s in the middle of doing it: holding out his arms with a tiny shrug, offering Jesus a midnight kiss.

It’s just something about Paul’s hurt expression after he locked eyes with Alex—

Something about the superior little glance that smug asshole gives them as he practically gnaws Wes’s face off—

Something about Paul’s flushed cheeks and abrupt change in posture—

Daryl just reacts, offering, and to his surprise, Paul takes him up on it.

Daryl steps back less than a second later, realizing he’s made a mistake; seeing Paul kiss a grimy redneck isn’t likely to make Alex feel any less superior.

—

Paul leaves right afterwards, just turns and practically runs out of the room, so apparently it had been a mistake on multiple levels.

Shit, fuck, goddamn it. Woozy with liquor, Daryl stands and follows him out, down the stairs and into the freezing cold.

Small boot prints lead him to the barn.

“I’m sorry, alright?” Daryl calls out as he enters, because he knows Paul will have heard him coming even over the wind. “Don’t know what I was thinking, just… your ex is a douchebag, and… I dunno. M’sorry.”

“Are you… apologizing for the fact that I kissed you?” Paul appears before him in the dim light, looking cold. Neither of them had grabbed their coats before leaving the party.

Daryl scowls, and Paul’s eyes.

He takes a slow step forward, then a faster one, and then he’s kissing the hell out of Daryl. Then he takes his hand and pulls him out of the barn, across the courtyard through the snow.

Daryl honest to God doesn’t know where they’re going at first, and thinks vaguely that he doesn’t want to go back to the party.

When they reach the trailer they both pause out of habit to pull off boots and socks. Daryl finds himself staring stupidly at a perfectly ordinary set of small white feet that he’s probably seen a dozen or two times before, but never actually noticed.

“I could bring you off with them, if you’re into feet,” Paul says, and Daryl realizes, for the first time, that Paul definitely intends to have sex with him.

—

Paul wants this. He wants it now, and tomorrow night, and next week, and he’s more than willing to go outside of his usual sexual wheelhouse to ensure Daryl has a good time.

“What?! No! Nah, ain’t into that.”

“Sure? You were staring an awful lot just now.”

“Ain’t the feet, it’s just, uh.” Daryl’s face and posture telegraph his discomfort, but Paul doesn’t interrupt to save him from his own awkwardness. He wants to know the end of that sentence. Eventually Daryl finishes sweetly with, “It’s just you.”

It stops Paul in his tracks, trying and failing to hide a beaming smile. “Ok. Just… I’m open to suggestion, is all. If there’s something specific you want, here.”

A brief shadow slides over Daryl’s face. “But… what do you want?”

Utterly charmed, Paul steps closer and swoops in for another kiss. Daryl flinches at the quick motion and Paul redirects to his cheek—the last thing he wants is to scare him.

Fortunately Daryl recovers quickly. And he doesn’t just recover, he goes a bit wild, mouth careening around their kiss. Paul’s eyes widen a bit and he pulls Daryl closer, letting the other man plunder his mouth messily.

The enthusiasm makes Daryl’s lack of experience extremely obvious.

Paul pulls away gently. “Hey, slow down a little. We’ve got all night, right?”

Daryl nods and pulls in a huge lungful of air. “M’sorry.”

“What for?”

“I ain’t good at this.”

“You’re doing fantastic so far.”

“Pfft. Ain’t gotta lie.”

“I wouldn’t, I’m not.“ Paul would and is, a little, but he’s not about to complain. He pulls them to the bed—pausing to get Dog settled on the couch, where she glares at them reproachfully—then lays down and waits for Daryl to join him. Smiling reassuringly, because Daryl looks about ready to hyperventilate at their new position, he says, “Is this alright?”

Nodding, Daryl turns towards him. “I didn’t think you wanted this, with me,” he says quietly. He’s not touching Paul, or reaching for him.

“I didn’t think you did.” Paul has been waiting too impatiently for too long to deny himself now. He grabs Daryl’s waist and pulls.

—

The bottom line is, Daryl can’t keep up.

Paul has him out of his clothes before it occurs to him to reciprocate. Then Paul’s touching him, and that’s distracting, and by the time Daryl realizes he needs to move his goddamn hands and do something, anything, with them, Paul is back to kissing him instead.

He wants Paul’s clothes off, he thinks, trying to kiss back. Unless Paul doesn’t want that—but he would, right? It’s the usual thing.

Not that Daryl would fucking know.

He slides a hand up Paul’s thigh to his zip. Paul leans back, straddling Daryl on his knees, and it’s so fucking hot that Daryl loses the use of his thumbs.

After a minute, Paul has mercy on him and undoes his pants.

“Your shirt,” Daryl says, willing to sound stupid if it gets the job done, and Paul smiles down at him in the dim light and pulls his shirt over his head. It’s cold, and his nipples are hard. Daryl’s mind is suddenly launched into an unwelcome tangent: Merle bragging about turning up the air conditioning in a car to get some chick’s nipples hard enough to see through her shirt.

He pulls the other man back down to kiss him, and Paul moans over it, biting Daryl’s lip, and fuck fuck fuck how is this actually happening to him now, at forty-something, after a lifetime of not knowing how to even start talking a guy into having sex with him?

Sitting up again, Paul shoves his pants lower, still straddling Daryl, and pulls his dick out, which Daryl isn’t supposed to want to suck. His mouth waters as Paul starts stroking himself, grinding slightly down on Daryl’s dick.

It’s too fucking much.

“I think I might- might come if you-”

Paul stops, eyebrows raising, but it’s too late, and Daryl shoots off against the ass of his jeans.

—

Watching Daryl squirm underneath him, chest rising from the mattress and teeth clenching, just makes Paul jack off even harder. Then Daryl slumps, spent and embarrassed, and shit, Paul really should stop and make sure he’s alright.

He compromises and asks while still jacking off, “You ok?”

Looking determined, Daryl bats his hand away from his dick and takes over. His mouth hangs open, and Paul stares.

Do not ask. Don’t even think about it.

Instead he lets Daryl continue his slow, gentle handjob, touching Paul like he’s worried about hurting him. Paul’s getting off on the idea of it all, more than the actual sensation: Daryl Dixon came in his pants just from the sight of his dick. Daryl wants his dick, is staring at it like he wants to suck it, would probably scramble to his knees for it if Paul just- just asked- “Do you want to use your mouth?”

You are a bad person.

Daryl does scramble, though, and is in position before Paul finishes pulling off his come-soaked pants.

—

It takes long enough to make Daryl’s jaw ache, and to make him wonder if he’s completely fucking this up. Then Paul starts trying to pull away, like maybe Daryl’s so terrible at it that he’d rather jerk off, but Daryl stubbornly stays put and redoubles his effort, sucking harder, going deeper—which is how he ends up with come going down the wrong pipe.

He pulls back, gagging and coughing as Paul comes helplessly on his face.

They both stop at about the same time. There’s come on Daryl’s eyebrow that feels like it’s threatening to drip down and blind him, but he’s not sure about the etiquette here. Paul’s shirt is closest, his own is on the floor a few feet away.

“Shit, sorry,” Paul says, and begins wiping his face clean. “I tried to- that was-”

“A disaster from start to finish?”

Paul pauses in wiping Daryl’s forehead for a second. “Maybe. But we’ll do better next time, right?”

They stare at each other in the darkness. “Yeah,” Daryl says, and he can’t keep the happiness or the surprise out of his voice. “Alright. Next time.”

“Happy New Year, then.” Paul smiles at him, a genuine grin, and Daryl grins back.

#daryl x jesus #desus #don't mind me #just writing desus when everyone else has moved the fuck on #XD

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gettingovergreta · 7 years

Text

Better Late Than Never Ask Meme

How many fics have you written?

A little over fifty. I tend to have brief periods with a lot of output and then loooong stretches of nothing.

Where do you share your writing?

Largely AO3, but sometimes on ff.net as well. I used to be on Livejournal but not recently.

What is your pseud there?

gettingovergreta. I also have some older stuff under vitawash99, I think.

Where/when do you usually write?

Often on the couch with my laptop, less often in bed.

What is your favorite fanfic that you’ve read?

Oh, there are so many. I love sunken_standard’s Longer Than the Road that Stretches Out Ahead and rsadelle’s The Breath That Passed from You to Me, and I have frantically checked for updates on fics by @soyeahso and @lono285, among others. I’M JUST GREEDY, OKAY?

Outside of Sherlock fandom, @enigma731 wrote a Chase/Cameron fix-it fic (House fandom) that I still think about because of how beautifully it worked, and I there was an amazing Chase fic called Into White by pwcorgigirl that has unfortunately vanished. I adored several fics by the late, great Susan M. Garrett in the Secret Adventures of Jules Verne fandom, but especially Jeux de Hasard - her works are still the standard in my mind for extraordinary gen fics that could have been episodes.

It’s kind of frustrating actually, because I’ve read so many that I love and now I’m like BUT WHAT ARE THEY.

What is your fave fic that you’ve written?

Probably The Anglerfish Problem, because it was such a challenging prompt. In the non-crackfic category, I’m very fond of a House/Cuddy fic I wrote where they were in college, because it’s the rare fic that I can reread and think it doesn’t have a wrong note.

What inspired you to start writing fanfic?

My first fandom was the Secret Adventures of Jules Verne, and I think it was the perfect combination of steampunk nerdiness...and my French major. There were corsets and Paris and I was doomed. I’d actually been reading fanfic for a long time before that, though, in the X-Files and DS9 fandoms. (ok, wait, I actually wrote some fic with a friend in my dorm but it was handwritten and we never finished it.)

What is your favorite trope to read?

Fake relationship. Like I can’t even pretend it’s anything else. (Oddly, I’ve never actually written one.)

What is the best piece of writing advice you’ve ever read/heard/would like to share?

I don’t remember exactly where I heard it, but it was more or less to take silly concepts seriously. Think about what the actual consequences of the weirdness, how it would affect characters, how the world might be slightly different, etc.

What is your favorite feedback you’ve received as an author?

It is perhaps ironically from @ashockinglackofsatin, who tagged me in this meme and described her reaction to The Anglerfish Problem as “I want to just bounce around the room for a while grinning like a maniac.” Which I loved, because that is my response to good fan fiction as well. I also got a comment on Dignity and Purpose where they wrote that they needed to get a sweater and a cup of tea because I had just left a cold, dark hole inside them. That was pretty sweet.

*starts to feel concerned about her taste in feedback*

Also, I know that a lot of people don’t like it, but I have actually always gotten a kick out of it when people tell me that they don’t usually read the pairing I’ve written, but that they really enjoyed the story. Once I’ve settled I have a hard time reading fic outside of the pairing(s) I favor, so I’m impressed when a reader sticks with something that isn’t in their usual wheelhouse.

I tag @billiethepoet, @enigma731, and anyone else who would like to play :)

#ask meme #writing

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