#Payroll Function

[exelahrsolutions]

Ways to efficiently structure your company's payroll function

Organizational structure is an essential component of every company, whether consciously acknowledged or not. It serves as the framework for assigning roles, responsibilities, job functions, accountability, and decision-making authority within the organization. Similar to the overall organizational structure, the structure of the payroll function is equally important. It should be designed to align with the company's goals and objectives to ensure efficient payroll management and overall organizational success.

Managing payroll involves various tasks, such as calculating employee hours, processing payments, tax withholding, and maintaining accurate financial records for your business. The intricacies of payroll management, from handling sensitive employee data to tax calculations and fund transfers, can be complex and carry legal responsibilities. It is crucial to ensure compliance with legal requirements when managing payroll. Additionally, structuring the payroll function is vital to any organization's payroll strategy. So, let's discover ways to structure your company's payroll for better efficiency and employee satisfaction. Also, find the 7 FAQs when it comes to the ideal payroll solution for your organization.

 Why do you need to structure your payroll function? 

Structuring your company's payroll function is crucial for many reasons. By investing in well-designed payroll processing, organizations can effectively manage one of the most critical aspects of their operations while supporting overall business success.

 Here are a few reasons why you must consider structuring your organizational payroll.

 ·        Accuracy and timeliness

A well-structured payroll function ensures accurate and timely payment to employees. Organizations can minimize errors in calculations, deductions, and tax withholdings by establishing transparent processes, roles, and responsibilities and leveraging technology. This, in turn, helps build trust and maintain positive employee relations.

·        Compliance with laws and regulations

Payroll structuring ensures organizations comply with various labor laws, tax regulations, and reporting requirements. By staying up-to-date with changing regulations, implementing internal controls, and conducting periodic audits, companies can avoid penalties, legal issues, and reputational damage associated with non-compliance.

·        Efficiency and productivity

Structuring payroll optimizes efficiency and productivity within the organization. By automating manual processes, integrating systems, and streamlining workflows, payroll staff can focus on value-added tasks instead of repetitive administrative work. This frees up time for strategic initiatives and enhances overall productivity.

·        Cost savings

Effective payroll processing can lead to cost savings in multiple ways. Automation reduces manual labor and associated costs, while accurate calculations and compliance prevent costly errors and penalties. Moreover, streamlined processes reduce administrative burdens, allowing staff to work on other critical areas.

·        Employee satisfaction and retention

Timely and accurate payment is crucial to employee satisfaction. A well-structured payroll function ensures employees receive their wages and benefits without delays or errors, fostering a positive work environment. This contributes to higher employee morale, engagement, and retention.

·        Data security and confidentiality

Payroll structuring emphasizes secure data management practices, protecting sensitive employee information. Organizations can mitigate the risk of data breaches and maintain confidentiality by implementing appropriate safeguards, encryption measures, and access controls.

·        Reporting and decision-making

Structured payroll systems provide accurate and comprehensive reporting capabilities. This enables management to access key payroll data, such as labor costs, tax liabilities, and benefits expenses. Such data support informed decision-making, financial planning, and strategic resource allocation.

 How to structure your payroll? 

A well-functioning payroll department is crucial for maintaining high employee satisfaction and improving overall organizational productivity and efficiency. Employees have a rightful expectation that their organizations will consistently and accurately compensate them according to their employment contracts.

However, a slow, overly complex, or error-prone payroll process can strain employee and employer relationships and waste valuable time for HR teams. To avoid such challenges and achieve efficiency, compliance, and timely payment, it is essential to structure the payroll function effectively.

Determining the structure of the payroll function is a key component of any organization's payroll strategy, regardless of its global or domestic operations. The structure primarily depends on two factors: the concentration of payroll activities and the desired level of outsourcing versus in-house management of these activities. In the following sections, we will guide you through the considerations for each of these factors.

 ·        Degree of concentration in payroll activities

 As a company expands its operations across different states, provinces, or national borders, the workforce grows in size and diversity. Consequently, the payroll function becomes more intricate due to the diverse regulations and laws in each specific region.

Initially, companies often opt to establish separate payroll departments for each business unit or location, which usually leads to inconsistent processes, duplication of tasks, and inefficiencies. However, best practices suggest adopting a centralized model for administrative and transactional finance activities, including payroll.

According to a survey, 77% of businesses have implemented centralized payroll systems.

In the case of large global organizations, centralization is typically implemented regionally, as relying on a single centralized team may not suffice for the entire global workforce.

In an optimal scenario where organizations have well-developed payroll departments, they aim to create a Payroll Center of Excellence (COE) responsible for overseeing governance, policies, processes, continuous improvement, standards, technology, automation strategy guidance, and establishing performance metrics for the entire organization's payroll operations. Subsequently, these policies and guidelines can be customized as per the specific requirements of individual regions or locations.

Moreover, assigning a global process owner who can oversee the entire payroll processing is beneficial, ensuring dedicated governance and focused attention to the process.

For organizations with a wide geographical presence, exploring the option of establishing regional payroll shared services centers may be beneficial. These centers promote the growth of process knowledge, standardization, improved reporting and analysis capabilities, enhanced compliance oversight, and eliminate redundant tasks.

·        Level of activities managed in-house vs. outsourced

 Typically, businesses opt to outsource non-core tasks or those that external parties can perform more effectively. This decision is driven by factors such as cost reduction, improved efficiency, adherence to regulations, and access to specialized knowledge.

Payroll processing can be intricate and challenging, especially considering the dynamic nature of rules and regulations across industries and countries. It is not surprising that many businesses opt to outsource their payroll operations, either partially or entirely, to external providers. This approach offers several advantages, making it a popular choice for organizations. Here are some of the key reasons why businesses choose payroll outsourcing:

Saves time

Minimizes     payroll errors

Improves     security

Maintains     compliance

Integrates     data

Facilitates     employee self-service

Typically, experts suggest considering a comprehensive payroll outsourcing solution that seamlessly integrates various components of workforce management with the payroll system. This inclusive platform covers the entire spectrum, encompassing recruitment, benefits, performance evaluation, and more. By consolidating these functions into a unified system, businesses gain advantages such as generating comprehensive reports, improving efficiency by replacing multiple platforms with a single one, fostering effective communication between employees and employers, and other benefits.

 How to Manage an Effective Payroll Department 

Managing an effective payroll department is crucial for any organization's financial stability and employee satisfaction. A well-run payroll department ensures accurate and timely payment processing, compliance with tax regulations, and seamless communication with employees. This section will explore essential strategies and best practices to manage a payroll department efficiently. From establishing streamlined processes to leveraging technology and prioritizing compliance, these insights will empower businesses to optimize payroll operations, reduce errors, and enhance overall organizational effectiveness.

·         Have a standardized and streamlined payroll system

·         Ensure payroll integration with other business functions

·         Update payroll software

·         Stay up-to-date on the latest employment laws

·         Establish a payroll calendar

·         Have a backup

·         Outsource your payroll process

·         Perform regular audits

·         Hire qualified staff

 Choosing the Right Payroll System - 7 FAQs 

1.      What features should I look for in a payroll system?

When evaluating payroll solutions, key features to consider typically include automated payroll calculations, tax management, direct deposit capabilities, benefits administration, reporting and analytics, compliance support, and integration with other HR or accounting systems.

2.      Should I opt for an in-house or cloud-based payroll system?

Both in-house and cloud-based payroll systems have their advantages. In-house systems provide more control and customization, while cloud-based systems offer accessibility, scalability, and automatic updates. Consider your organization's size, IT infrastructure, budget, and data security requirements when making this decision.

3.      How do I ensure data security and compliance?

Data security and compliance are paramount in payroll management. Look for payroll solutions that employ strong encryption, data backups, access controls, and compliance features for tax regulations and labor laws. Additionally, consider the system's track record for security breaches and their measures to address them.

4.      Can the payroll system handle my organization's specific needs?

Evaluate whether the payroll system can accommodate your organization's unique requirements, such as multi-state or international payroll, complex compensation structures, timekeeping integration, employee self-service portals, or specific reporting needs. Ensure the system is flexible enough to adapt to your evolving payroll demands.

5.      What level of customer support is provided?

Consider the availability and quality of customer support the payroll solution provider offers. Look for prompt assistance, training resources, user forums, and a responsive support team that efficiently addresses your inquiries or troubleshoots issues.

6.      How much does a payroll system cost?

Payroll system costs can vary depending on factors like the size of your organization, the number of employees, and the complexity of your payroll processes. Consider both upfront costs, such as software licenses or implementation fees, as well as ongoing fees for maintenance, updates, and support. Evaluate the system's return on investment (ROI) regarding time savings, reduced errors, and improved efficiency.

7.      Can the payroll system scale with my organization's growth?

Ensure that the chosen payroll solution can accommodate your organization's growth and future needs. Assess its scalability, ability to handle an increasing employee count, and compatibility with expanding business operations. Consider long-term partnerships and whether the system can adapt as your organization evolves.

Conclusion 

Outsourcing payroll management to third-party service providers has emerged as a prominent trend in the business world. This trend is observed among companies of various sizes, as they recognize the significant cost savings achieved through outsourcing. Particularly for small business owners lacking the necessary resources to develop or update their payroll systems, opting for a professional, comprehensive payroll management company offers a strategic and economically viable solution.

47% of companies have chosen payroll outsourcing for their operations.

Exela HR Solutions provides highly effective, end-to-end payroll solutions that are customized to meet the unique requirements of businesses. Our comprehensive platform assists organizations in automating payroll processing and offers self-service tools for seamless payroll management by employees. Reach out to our experts at Exela HR Solutions today and discover our range of payroll services!

 DISCLAIMER: The information on this site is for general information purposes only and is not intended to serve as legal advice. Laws governing the subject matter may change quickly, and Exela cannot guarantee that all the information on this site is current or correct. Should you have specific legal questions about any of the information on this site, you should consult with a licensed attorney in your area.

Source & to read more: https://ow.ly/EQRW50Pauzw

Contact us for more details: https://ow.ly/FutP50OUQVK

#Payroll Function #Payroll Processing #Payroll Outsourcing #Payroll Solutions #Payroll Solution #Global Payroll Processing #HR Outsourcing #Payroll #Payroll Management #Payroll Outsourcing Service #HR Services #Exela HR Solutions

[hrtoolkitbyexela]

#hr services #hr solutions #Payroll Function #Payroll Processing #Payroll Outsourcing #Payroll Solutions #Payroll Solution #Global Payroll Processing #HR Outsourcing #Payroll #Payroll Management #Payroll Outsourcing Service #Exela HR Solutions #HR Services #Human Resources Services #HRO

[unpretty]

#original #the mood of the fucking day #BITE BITE BITE BITE #i have work tomorrow i haven't been able to fall asleep before 2 am i have PAYROLL #AND SHE WAITED UNTIL TODAY TO SEND ME EMS PAYROLL AND HALF OF IT'S FUCKED #YOU COULD HAVE SENT ME A PRELIM FILE ON SATURDAY AND JUST SENT ME ANY CORRECTIONS FROM THE WEEKEND TODAYYYY #SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU I WAS DOING WFH SO THIS WOULDN'T HAPPENNNNN #and i don't know if it's the spiro's fault but i'm having a period again HOW DID I EVER LIVE LIKE THIS. HOW DID I FUNCTION.

[zoeology31]

The Minnesota Twins are an American professional baseball team based in Minneapolis. The Twins compete in Major League Baseball (MLB) as a member club of the American League (AL) Central Division.

I think sending Alcala down for Thielbar fucked something up on a cosmic vibes level.

#my stuff #baseball #minnesota twins #jesus fucking christ we're bad #can't hit. gaping black hole on offense and defense in c4's absence. 3/5 of a functional rotation. thielbar inherited jax's curse from '23. #3 best players and/or 1/3 of the payroll on the il. sent down the 3rd longest tenured twin with a 0 era. top 2 prospects are: also hurt! #our big offseason signing has a wrc+ of 4. 2 of last year's big 3 rookies are strikeout machines. the 3rd got hurt 3 innings into game 1. #4-12 after the first 2 games. somehow 3/4 of the division looks terrifyingly competent. every weird little pivotal play turns against us. #I take solace in 1) recent playoff teams have had worse starts/stretches. 2) it literally cannot continue to be this bad

[like-the-cut-of-your-jib]

It’s already January 1, 2023 in New Zealand, so Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to the one and only Peter (Pete) Burling!

Pete, you’ve had a terrifically busy year and I hope you’re celebrating today!

Let’s do a quick recap of your 2022 highs (and a few lows imho).

January

Negotiating personally and professionally (you know the ones) during your summer vacation

February

Re-signing with Team NZ (ETNZ) for the AC37 Cup cycle, with you as Skipper

March

Improving results to a respectable 5th place finish to the second season of Sail GP in San Francisco

Co-led the team to the inaugural win in the Sail GP Impact League

April

Launched Live Ocean Racing with the Women’s Race team to compete in the Open ETF26 Grand Prix series with Liv Mackey as inaugural Skipper

Partnering with Zhik in supporting Live Ocean Racing

Waka Hourua Voyage with Live Ocean Foundation up the Northland coast

May

Team NZ Live Ocean Racing lines up in Bermuda for the start of Sail GP Season 3

June

Frustrating Sail GP Chicago event, nearly reaching the podium race

Supposedly privately proposing to “your girlfriend” in New York City afterwards 🤢

Voices for a Healthy Ocean - a Declaration by sporting and ocean communities - presented by you and Blair at the United Nations World Ocean Conference in Lisbon, Portugal

July

Partnering with Omega to support Live Ocean Foundation and Live Ocean Racing

Making your first final at the Sail GP Plymouth event and winning the event

Topping the Sail GP Impact League and sailing podium at the same event - first time ever for a Sail GP team (thumbs nose at the Aussies)

August

Being featured, along with the Team, in Sail GP Episode 3, “Cracking the F50 Code”

Dominating all three qualifying races, as well as winning the podium race in the Sail GP Copenhagen event

NZ team moves to second in the overall Sail GP standings

September

Co-Helming the new AC40 for ETNZ

Part of the Judging Panel for the 2022 World Sailing 11th Hour Racing Sustainability Award

October

Winning the friendly waka race on the Avon river over Blair’s team to promote the upcoming March 2023 Sail GP event in Otautahi-Christchurch

Testing and a gentle capsize of the ETNZ AC40 (boat and crew unharmed)

November

NZ Team awarded penalty points in scorching hot, light wind Sail GP Dubai event, but team remains in second place

Celebrating Jesse Tuke’s (finally public) win in Celebrity Treasure Island with the $110K NZ charitable donation to Live Ocean Foundation

Discovered the structural weakness in the bow of the AC40 (crew unharmed), making it safer for the entire one-design fleet to be used in the AC37 Womens and Youth Cups

December

Helming the second LEQ12 boat for ETNZ out on the Waitemata habour

Approving your engagement to be finally reported/leaked publicly 😝 lol

Being hailed as the ‘Biggest Sailing Geek’ by your fellow Sail GP sailors in their 2022 Yearbook posting

#competitive sailing #peter burling #blair tuke #sail gp season 2 #sail gp season 2022 2023 #sail gp season 3 #sail gp #ac37 #blair tuke x peter burling #blair x peter #peter x blair #america’s cup #sailing husbands #does anyone in sail gp promo department get how yearbooks function? #sorry lucinda but you’re on the payroll #trophy wife trophy life? #sail gp promo fails

[sangfielle]

i dont want to go to work tomorrow they should litearlly give me an extra day off to make up for the more than full shift worth of time i will have to be just staring at my computer and answering basic questions about stupid pharmacy bullshit during my day off

#personal #i think i get paid for them at least? ill have to check my payroll thing when i get it for the pay period that ends on sunday to confirm. #but i think up to a certain point if you do classes outside of work theyll pay you like you were clocked in? #so functionally. i will be at work for 14 straight days like. lol

[orcelito]

Bought a new laptop, ordered groceries, scheduled an appointment for my continuous back pain

I'm tired.

#speculation nation #tally knocked over a plant Again. which has not helped anything. #im going insane not having a functional laptop so i found one on sale and ordered it #signed up for paypal credit bc wtf ever. i'll just make sure to keep up with payments #nervous about what the appointment will bring bc it's been two months and the back pain hasnt gone away #im supposed to do cleaning and whatever tf but i do not feel. up to it. #at the very least i will have groceries in a few hours. i need them. #i started applying to health insurance only to realize i actually do have insurance still #my dad's insurance would time out after i turn 26. so im gonna look into this again later. #aka why i switched gears to going and setting up an appointment lol. it's in a week. #for now... i need to eat something. just . Something. #i need some relaxation like Immediately bc lmfao. nearly had an aneurysm spending $400 for tuition installment #AND buying a $500 laptop (tho it's $800 full price so Very good deal there) #(aka why i just jumped right into it bc i need a new laptop so bad. anything would be better than what i have rn) #technically have 3 days off in a row this week (absolutely decadent) but im going in tomorrow for work stuff #i have to put in the new employee paperwork before the next payroll happens. so they can actually fucking get paid lol #but for today. For Today. im going to fucking rest. i need it so bad.

[hms-software-timecontrol]

The challenge of choosing a timesheet system

You would think it would be easy.  After all, timesheets mostly look all the same don’t they? Well, that’s often true but the front end of the timesheet isn’t the challenge.  Mostly timesheets look like a grid and you enter hours or some value in columns and rows.  It’s once that data has arrived into the timesheet that it becomes more challenging.  A timesheet might be used by an end user for 5…

View On WordPress

#billing timesheeet #Choosing a timesheet #Multi-function timesheet #payroll timesheet #project timesheet #TimeControl

[rhsofttech2023]

A Guide to SAP HCM Online Training in India

#In the fast-evolving landscape of human resources management #businesses are constantly seeking efficient solutions to streamline their processes. This is where SAP HCM (Human Capital Management) comes #offering a comprehensive suite of tools to manage various HR functions. With the rise of online education #SAP HCM online training in India has emerged as a convenient and effective way to master this essential system. #Why Choose SAP HCM Online Training? #SAP HCM encompasses a range of critical HR processes such as payroll #talent management #workforce planning #and employee administration. Mastering these functionalities demands a thorough understanding of the software #and online training brings several advantages to the table. #1. Flexibility: Online training allows you to learn at your own pace #fitting seamlessly into your existing schedule. Whether you're a working professional or a student #you can access the course content when it's most convenient for you. #2. Cost-Effective: Traditional classroom training can be expensive due to travel and accommodation costs. With SAP HCM online training in I #you can save on these expenses while still receiving high-quality education. #3. Comprehensive Curriculum: Reputable online training providers offer comprehensive courses that cover all aspects of SAP HCM. From basic #you can gain a deep understanding of the system. #SAP HCM Online Training in India: What to Expect #India has become a hub for online education #and SAP HCM training is no exception. When enrolling in such a course #here's what you can expect: #1. Expert Trainers: Reputed online training platforms collaborate with industry experts to deliver high-quality instruction. You'll receive #2. Hands-on Experience: Practical exposure is crucial when learning SAP HCM. Look for courses that offer hands-on exercises and simulations #3. Certification: Many online courses provide certification upon completion #which can significantly enhance your resume and job prospects. #Conclusion #As businesses recognize the importance of effective HR management #proficiency in SAP HCM has become a valuable skill. With the convenience and flexibility of SAP HCM online training in India #aspiring HR professionals #existing HR personnel

[greythrsoftware]

All You Need to Know About PoSH Compliance

What are the basic aspects of PoSH?

Legislation: The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013 (aka PoSH Act) was enacted to make workplaces safer for women.

Policy: The first aspect is to have a policy that informs people inside the organisation, visitors and empanelled third parties that the organisation is legally compliant. As part of the awareness drive, employees must also be made to understand what constitutes sexual harassment as per the law. It is also mandatory for every employee to attend the training every year.

Internal committee: The next aspect is setting up an internal committee to handle sexual harassment cases. The committee members have to undergo an annual intensive training programme covering all the legal aspects. Upon completion, they should have the know-how to conduct an enquiry and suggest the appropriate disciplinary action. Even the companies in co-working spaces need to have PoSH committees.

Compliance: Last but not least, the government must be informed about the organisation’s compliance status. This can be done by filing an annual report, for the calendar year, with the concerned district officer.

What constitutes sexual harassment as per the Act?

Physical harassment: This refers to anything from an uncomfortable touch to sexual assault.

Verbal harassment: Cracking a joke or saying something in any language, which is sexual in nature, is considered to be offensive.

Non-verbal harassment: In this case, any sexual joke or image sent or shown via WhatsApp or social media is considered inappropriate.

Quid pro quo: This is a type of power-based harassment where a person in power says, “You give me this, and I’ll give you this”. In other words, it is about sexual favours in the workplace.

Does the Act protect only female employees from sexual harassment in the workplace?

Yes. The Act protects female employees from sexual harassment by male employees. But some companies write gender-neutral policies to extend the scope of the Act. In this case, the internal committee members must be trained to understand what constitutes sexual harassment of other genders.

What is an internal committee, and who are its members?

As of now, India is the only country that has a provision for an internal committee.

The law specifies that more than 50% of the members must be women. The committee must have three internal committee members, a presiding officer and one external member who usually understands the law and processes. The presiding officer needs to be a woman holding the senior most position in the organisation. Ideally, the committee members should be drawn from different teams across the organisation to ensure diversity and fairness.

A new member has to be nominated if an existing member leaves. A member can hold the position for a maximum of 3 years. Post-completion of 3 years, a new IC member has to be nominated.

What is the required documentation during an investigation process?

During case enquiries, all meetings have to be recorded, transcribed and signed by all parties. Additionally, every communication to the complainant, witnesses and respondents has to be documented and filed in a confidential folder. If the case moves to court, this folder will become a credible reference source for the judge.

Source Link - https://medium.com/@greytHRsoftware/all-you-need-to-know-about-posh-compliance-3f9b8e122aa9

#HR #Payroll #HRMS #HRM #HRIS #human resource management system #HR Software #HRMS Software #HR System #HR Functions #greytHR

[blogborsa]

CREVH - GOLD

QuickBooks is a renowned accounting software that offers a seamless solution for small businesses to manage their financial tasks efficiently. With features designed to streamline accounting processes, QuickBooks simplifies tasks such as tracking receipts, income, bank transactions, and more. This software is available in both online and desktop versions, catering to the diverse needs of businesses of all sizes. QuickBooks Online, for instance, allows users to easily track mileage, expenses, payroll, send invoices, and receive payments online, making it a comprehensive tool for financial management. Moreover, QuickBooks Desktop provides accountants with exclusive features to save time and enhance productivity. Whether it's managing income and expenses, staying tax-ready, invoicing, paying bills, managing inventory, or running reports, QuickBooks offers a range of functionalities to support businesses in their accounting needs.

Utilizing qb accounting software purposes comes with a myriad of benefits that can significantly enhance business operations. Some key advantages of using QuickBooks include:

- Efficient tracking of income and expenses

- Simplified tax preparation and compliance

- Streamlined invoicing and payment processes

- Effective management of inventory

- Generation of insightful financial reports

- Integration with payroll and HR functions

These benefits not only save time and effort but also contribute to better financial decision-making and overall business growth. QuickBooks is designed to meet the diverse needs of businesses, offering tailored solutions for various industries and sizes.

When considering accounting qb software options, QuickBooks stands out as a versatile and comprehensive choice. To provide a holistic view, let's compare QuickBooks with two other popular accounting software options - Xero and FreshBooks. quick book accounting package and offers robust features for small businesses, including advanced accounting capabilities, invoicing, payment processing, and payroll management. Xero, on the other hand, is known for its user-friendly interface and strong collaboration features, making it a popular choice among startups and small businesses. FreshBooks excels in invoicing and time tracking functionalities, catering to freelancers and service-based businesses. By evaluating the features, pricing, and user experience of these accounting software options, businesses can make an informed decision based on their specific needs and preferences.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

One of the more interesting aspects of Stayed Gone is the implication that, prior to his disappearance, Alastor must have been producing some quality programming.

Despite it's obvious importance in the modern world, TV apparently only started outcompeting radio in Hell after Alastor vanished. Seven whole years ago. And when Al returns, Vox's first response is to freak the fuck out about whether he's gonna keep his audience.

That's fucking crazy.

And we can be pretty sure that people weren't just listening in out of fear, either. Or because Alastor was making any major effort to crush all other forms of media.

If this was purely about which Overlord was the most powerful, then Vox's verses would surely have focused on emphasising his own strength. Instead, they're all about calling radio outdated. Vox is genuinely worried— apparently based on experience— that Alastor is going to outdo him in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Which raises the obvious question: what were Al's shows actually like? (Aside from those early broadcasts guest-starting the screams of the damned, obviously.)

We get kind of a taster in the song:

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air. Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast— Sinners, rejoice!— instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast. Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Fitting between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day, he's got a new format! Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees! And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team! I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!”

Obviously he's doing it to music, so there's going to be some difference in the cadence of his voice from that, but still, he's talking noticeably quicker than he does in person. And he gets right to the point.

Compare it to his commercial in episode 1. There's a big difference in terms of both how much respect he's showing his audience (“well hello there, you wayward sinner!” vs “good to be back on the air”), and how much relevant information he delivers.

Alastor is a great character to watch, but most people who interact with him directly seem to find the experience either annoying, awkward, terrifying or all three.

Mainly because Al seems to go out of his way to put people off even when he's actively trying to get them to trust him, by making condescending asides or constantly dropping references to his own power. On air, however, he greets everyone politely and even drops what is almost an apology for being gone so long (“I know it's been a while”), then immediately gets to the information that he knows they're really listening for.

Alastor may not respect Charlie, Adam or Lucifer, but he does respect his audience.

And the content he's producing makes it clear why people are still tuning in. Al has the gossip. Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench may not be unbiased exactly, but they're clearly trying to provide sources for their claims and maintain some veneer of professional news reporting.

Al, meanwhile, is quite happy to provide strong opinions and baseless speculation about public figures, content that is less fitting with the professional image that Vox seems so desperate to keep up, but that is likely to attract a bigger audience.

What gets me curious now, however, is wondering what else he used to provide.

Again, radio was apparently the medium for news and entertainment in Hell until Alastor left. Implying that a) radio was at the time fulfilling many of the function that TV now provides, and b) Alastor was involved enough in this that it collapsed/got overthrown the moment he left town.

Did Alastor have an empire similar to the Vees? Did he run a bunch of channels? Did he have DJs and sports commentators and presenters on his payroll?

Given that radio seems to have collapsed completely after he left— did they all go running to Vox when he was presumed dead? Was the Vees new empire in part built on the ruins of Alastor's old one?

Or did he do the whole thing solo and just run like, a bunch of different shows. (In which case, since radio's bread and butter has always been music, Helluva Boss fans can now have fun imagining him interviewing Verosika Mayday about ‘Vacay to Bonetown’.)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel meta #hazbin spoilers #alastor hazbin #vox #stayed gone #meta #hazbin hotel headcanons #i'm writing this right before bed so excuse if it seems a bit disjointed #🥱

[callmearcturus]

The Verge got ahold of Elon's meeting with his new pals and if you got time, you should scroll past the highlights and read the entire thing because its absolutely balls to the wall batshit. I just liveblogged it to my discord server.

I think I very rapidly want to improve every aspect of Twitter. Search I know we can improve immediately and in a number of ways. I mean, just this morning, I actually was just looking for Jack [Dorsey] actually. And I typed Jack into the search engine, and “@jack” was not the number one thing. But that should be the number one thing. So then I just had to type “@jack” in directly. If you type j-a-c-k, your number one thing should be Jack Dorsey. I mean, that’s probably what you’re looking for, you know? So I think anything we do to improve any aspect of the system, let’s do it right away.

Elon legitimately thinks we give a shit about how the search functions and that's a huge thing that'll bring people in. bitch, people read their TIMELINES?????

also the WILD assumption that if I type a very common 4 letter name i OBVIOUSLY want to see jack dorsey. what the fuck.

I’d love to see ads for gizmos. If I saw ads for gizmos, I love gizmos, of course, I’d buy them all in a click. Even if they’re not that great, I’ll still buy gizmos. I love technology. I’ll see content for gizmos but not an ad or an ability to actually buy the gizmo. So then I have to send it to my assistant like, “Please buy this gizmo.” That’s how it goes generally. But I’d be happy to just click on it and buy it.

Twitter, which is having an advertiser crisis of Elon's own making which may lead to lawsuits from the likes of Eli fucking Lilly, wants more fun ads.

oh and he wants to make twitter into A BANK. he wants to give verified users like 10$ (reminder: you pay 8$ to be verified) so people will start sending each other money. what happens when they wanna send to someone who doesn't want to hook up their fucking bank info to twitter? oh we'll send out debit cards with the amount. (for real) and elon says they'll take all the money ppl put on twitter and place it into a high yield account to collect the interest

elon, you don't HAVE cash to place into an account right now, and its a FUCKING RECESSION and you just TANKED twitter's credit advisory score, so who is gonna give you this high yield account, pal

I’ve been through the recession of 2000 and 2001 and 2008-9, and I’m somewhat paranoid about dying in recessions. I have recession PTSD from keeping X and PayPal alive through the 2000 recession, keeping Tesla alive in the 2009 recession.

i cordially invite elon to sit on a rusted steel dildo

oh also he's forcing everyone back to "the office" even if they live in remote locations in an attempt to get more people off the payroll. that's why he's doing it.

twitter genuinely might not last a month.

#twitter #this transcript is fucking BANANAS

[mayakern]

I second the person who was talking about polyester being the sticking point for the shirts--I've been following for ages because I love your design sense and color choices, but I don't wear skirts much and between overheating issues & personal sustainability goals I've stopped buying synthetic fabrics. I LOVE the designs and several of them are in color combos I'd love to have in my button-up wardrobe, but alas I know I will not wear a polyester shirt. I'm mentally comparing them to Morningwitch, who does similar graphic cotton short sleeve button-ups for $50 each, and I'd be willing to potentially pay more than that for something as striking as the desert sunset button-up in 100% cotton (idk how scales/suppliers compare), but it would *probably* just be one if the price went any higher. Anyways, I'm wishing you good luck! Sucks about the numbers. They are really stunning designs.

i adore polina's work! i have a couple of her old button ups, which use the same fabric mine have now, but i haven't bought any of her cotton ones so i'm not sure if they're a texture i could wear or not.

(i have unfortunately had bad luck with other small artist natural fiber button ups and found them too rough for my textural sensitivities, so between that and me already owning enough clothing, i haven't bought any more in quite a while)

it's also important to note that polina spent an entire year (maybe longer) and a not insignificant amount of money searching for a natural fiber option for her shirts and that because shirts are her staple item (like skirts are mine), she sells significantly more of them than i do (even before making the switch to cotton), which enables her to drive down her PPU (price per unit) slightly and also charge less for them.

also, when the issue of sustainability comes up, it's not as simple as natural fiber vs. synthetic fiber. everything from the high cost in water for growing cotton, to the fuel cost for transporting it, and then its shorter lifespan (which is part of the point, i know, that natural fiber degrades faster, but it also means longterm you are buying more garments), as well as ethical concerns about labor rights...

in my experience when it comes to being a small brand functioning at my size or smaller, you can typically pick one of the following (if even that): natural fiber, ethical labor, or affordable price point. i have personally chosen to prioritize ethical labor over everything else while doing my best to keep my price points as reasonable as possible without undercutting myself. payroll and office space are expensive. 😅

of course, if you sell a higher volume, you can not only negotiate a lower PPU based on volume of sales (a factory will make more money from your business if you buy 10,000 shirts for $10/piece than if you buy 1,000 shirts for $12/piece*) but you can also get away with a lower margin because you're expecting to sell more units to customers. imagine selling 10,000 shirts for $25/ea instead of 1,000 for $35/ea. even with a profit margin of $15/ea instead of $23/ea, you would only need to sell about 1,534 shirts of your 10,000 to make the same net profit and you'd have almost another 8500 shirts you could keep selling.

*these are not real numbers just an example for easy math and to show how stupid manufacturing math is

#ask #long post #store

[danibee33]

hostage

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (goes by “Saint”)

based on a post by @call-me-doll-face! your vision for this song (“hostage” by Billie Eilish) was just too perfect😭 I couldn’t get it out of my head. I hope you love it as much as I do.

tags: angst & smut, ok it’s very angsty, did I cry? yes

word count: 5.7k (sry I got carried away)

+++

The files strewn across your desk only come back into focus at the sound of three crisp, concise knocks on your door. You blink away the dryness, eyes darting toward the open window to see its pitch dark outside now- shit.

Two more knocks resound through the room, they're a little more forceful this time, urging you to push away from the organized chaos, crossing the short span on tingling feet. You hadn’t meant to lose track of time like that, but after the debrief you needed something to distract you, get your mind off the bitter taste the meeting had left in your mouth-

“Target’s in the wind after the attack in Yemen-”

You change the map, zooming in on a tiny Bedouin village- the settlement no more than a speck in the vast desert, “But we’ve intercepted and translated some chatter from local law enforcement that are on Abaza’s payroll.” – the room goes dark for half a second before the next slide flashes on the screen- “Seems he’s following his pattern of hiding behind civilians.”

The room is silent, save for the rapid clicking of Soap’s pen against the desk- one of the restless man’s many tics, and Price’s furious scribbling. Gaz is eyeing the map studiously, his lips twitching as he muses through the routes and planning- no doubt trying to predict what the Captain will do.

Ghost is just.. Looming. Perched in his usual corner, arms crossed over his chest as he contemplates the information and intel given, eyes lazy and half-lidded even when Price stands, coming to stand at your side.

“Bloody good work, Saint.”

He pats your shoulder, taking over your spot as you settle in a seat at the table, and you try to listen intently- short-handing a few notes you might have missed as the Captain dives into the plan. The others pitch in ideas along the way, logistics and safety for the civilian population; but, it was extraction that gave you pause.

“There will be no cover- that encampment is too exposed.” You only realize you had spoken the thought out loud when you hear a soft huff from behind you,

“Very perceptive, Sec.” Ghost grumbles, his usual sarcasm somehow thicker, more exasperated.

Could you have held back your overly dramatic eye roll? Of course. But it’s fucking Ghost, and all you can hope is that he sees it- just like you know he sees your middle finger held up over your shoulder.

He knows you hated the way he ignored your call sign in favor of using the belittling, diminutive of your rank instead. It’s always been ‘Sec’ for him, short for Second Lieutenant, never one to let you, or anyone else, forget that he outranks you-

But, you’re used to it. That’s just the relationship you and him have had from the start, always this brutally competitive tension between you- which never made sense to anyone else. Especially considering your specialities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, each of you serving your own unique role to make the team function and perform like the well-oiled machine it’s been honed into.

And, to be honest, you’re not sure why you ever let him get under your skin either. You’ve worked with plenty of egotistical superiors and subordinates alike, and it’s never stopped you from reaching and surpassing every single goal you set for yourself. If anything, it’s only pushed you to work that much harder- usually at the cost of any sort of personal life, which is actually how you got your callsign-

“Saint” - ‘the only officer in the SAS who might make it to heaven’

You thought it was silly, but over the years it grew on you. And now, it just feels like what your name has always been, even if everyone knows you rarely make it far in the military by being an actual saint-

“Yes, extraction will be the most difficult part-”

Price’s voice brings you back to the present moment, head snapping up when you sense the giant presence standing next to your chair, “It’s a two-person job, then?”

Ghost’s voice has lost all its amusement and sarcasm, and his gaze feels heavier somehow as he looks over the screen. You watch him for a moment, catching all the nuances in his outward body language that are so imperceptible to others- though, you sometimes wish you weren’t so in tune with him. Wish you didn’t know exactly why you could pick up on these things when no one else could..

“That’s what I was thinkin’-” Price nods, looking between his two sergeants, “Soap, you’ll be second, running interference with some well place distractions?”

You watch Johnny practically vibrate with excitement, shooting you and Ghost a wink,

“Ka-freakin’-boom, baby. You an’ me, LT. The dream team!”

But again, you notice Ghost’s lack of snarky response, verbally and non-verbally, it unnerves you-

“Saint, you’ll be with them-”

“No.”

It takes you a second to react, not sure if you had heard it correctly- maybe you had missed something and he had barked the word over another matter entirely. But then, you hear Gaz and Soap be dismissed, and suddenly you’re standing beside Ghost, you and Price speaking the same question at the same time,

“No?”

Ghost shrugs, refusing to look down at you, “Don’t need ‘er there, Boss. Nothin’ she can’t feed us over radio.”

“First, I’m right here- and second, you don’t get to decide what I can or can’t do-”

Price looks at you, his expression only hinting at confusion as he watches you cross your arms now, mirroring your lieutenant's posture, “Captain-”

Something flashes through the stormy blue of his eyes then, something you can’t even begin to place. But it doesn’t really matter, because you don’t get to finish your protests- cut off instead by an apologetic hum,

“He’s right, Saint-”

“What!?”

You’re not in the business of challenging authority, at least not the authority of a man you genuinely respect like John, but you can’t help it- this wasn’t the first time you’ve been benched, and you know it’s not the first time it’s been Ghost the one ordering it.

Price glances at his watch before scrubbing a hand over his face, “Bloody hell-”, he rounds up the files and tucks them under one arm, holding his mug with the other, “We’ll finish this later, clear?”

Just like that- he’s gone. And you’re left with the suffocating shadow still staring at the image on the wall,

“Don’t take it personally, Sec.”

Your hands clench and unclench, nails leaving stinging little crescents in your palm before turning on your heel, “Fuck you, Ghost.”

You know who’s on the other side of your door. You always do. It’s been your routine for the last year and half- You do have to give it to the insufferable fucking prick for coming to you so soon after what he had done, though.

But, sure enough, the door swings open and there he is. Simon Riley, towering in your doorway, covered head to toe in a black hoodie and dark jeans, his face even further obscured under the hood- all you can see clearly are his eyes. And they’re intensely focused on you.

“Don’t worry, Price called.” You say, leaning against the frame-

He gives you nothing, seconds ticking by as he stands there like a statue, slowly scanning your face like he’s done a thousand times before. It used to make you uncomfortable, how he would look at you that way, like he was peeling you open, layer by layer- and it still does, like now. But, you’ve gotten used to his idiosyncrasies, at times even find them oddly endearing, if he weren’t such a dick.

“Can I come in?”

A sigh fills the air between you, followed by you glaring up at him- you want to say ‘no’, give him another big ‘fuck you’ middle finger and slam the door in his face; maybe even say fuck your arrangement all together, because now it’s becoming a pattern, him sidelining you.. But, you do none of those things. Because it’s him. Always fucking him.

So, you roll your eyes and turn back into the room, not bothering to invite him in because he knows the open door is your way of allowing it.

Instantly, your cozy abode feels ten times smaller and a hundred times warmer with him in it- it causes your skin to flush and your fingers to twitch, that restlessness you tend to feel when you were alone with him, crawling over you, burrowing itself in your chest.

“You’re mad.”

“Very perceptive, Ghost.” You throw his words from earlier back at him, crossing your arms because you honestly never knew what to do with your hands when you talked to him.

They always wanted to reach out for him- you were no better than Pavlov’s salivating dog when it comes to Simon fucking Riley. He had trained you so well without ever even having to try.

God, you hate him. And you hate yourself even more for know that’s not true in the slightest- “You can’t keep doing this.”

“Doin’ what?” He shifts on his feet, fists still shoved in the front pocket of his hoodie.

You throw your hands up, “Benching me like this! There’s no reason I shouldn’t be on the ground with you and Soap, just like I usually am.”

“There’s no reason you should be, either.”

That awful itch creeps down your spine, tickling your legs and feet. The need to move, to exert some kind of energy before you implode forcing you to pace. You’ll never understand him, no matter how much time you spend together, or how many nights you waste sweaty and clinging to each other, words never meant for the waking world spoken between you- you will never understand him.

Never understand why he can’t just be hot or cold, why he can’t just be mean to you all the time, because at least that way it would be easier to separate what is, and what isn’t.

“You said this wouldn’t change things- I’ve held up my end of the deal. But you.. We can’t do this if you’re going to jeopardize my career.” Simon watches you just as intently as before, eyes tracking your war path back and forth, “I mean, I know we’re competitive and petty, but I didn’t think you would start fucking blacklisting me-”

That seems to catch his attention, head perking up, “That’s not what I’m doin’, Sec-”

“Well then enlighten me, lieutenant.” You spit back, eyebrows furrowing when you see him reach for you.

He gently tugs you closer, gloved hand wrapped around your forearm- closer and closer until you can feel that unbearable heat he exudes, smell the spice of his cologne, the one he only ever seems to wear when he comes to your room. Like he wants to lay claim to you somehow-

“Don’t..” The command comes out without even a hint of conviction, his finger tilting your chin back,

“I don’t want to talk, Saint. Please, not right now.”

It must be comical, how wide your eyes grow at the sound of your callsign in his gruff voice, the way he breathes the small plea- something you’ve never once heard him say. You just barely catch the way his eyes crinkle at the very corners in your stupor. The audacious bastard is smiling like he knows you would melt for it.

He knows you so well.

But the smile isn’t mean, it isn’t to spite you like he does sometimes- no, this feels warmer, like you could reach out and wrap yourself in it.

“Simon.. This isn’t good for us.”

“For us?”, he leans down then, the arm around your waist pulling you close enough to feel his covered lips on your neck, “Or for you?”

Your exhale feels labored and too heavy in your lungs, cursing yourself over and over for how effortless it is for him to unravel you. How just the feeling of his big hands splayed out over your ribs, slowly traveling up and down your body, makes your legs weak- and the heat of his breath condensating on your skin has the familiar pressure steadily growing low in your belly- begging for more.

When he pulls the mask off this time, you can’t help but notice the gentility in his expression. A certain relaxed nature about it that seems so out of place for him. Most of the time, when you would find each other at the end of the day, he would be frustrated or annoyed, or he would be carrying that familiar brand of apathy written all over his face.

Not that it never cracked, you’ve gotten the privilege of seeing him show softness, even if it’s in his own way. A playful wink here and there, a genuine smirk that would reach his eyes for a fleeting moment, or when you got to see the deep dimples on either cheek- the ones that give his features an almost boyishly handsome quality.

But right now, you swear he looks.. content.

And when he kisses you, it’s languid and sweet- the softer skin of his lips contrasting to the way his five o’ clock shadow scratches your chin and mouth. He kisses you like you have all the time in the world, like there’s no place he would rather be than right here, tangling his fingers in your hair- tasting your tongue as it dances around his.

It confuses you, because this is not how it’s supposed to go. There’s rarely ever time for such thoroughness, not that Simon wasn’t incredibly adept when it comes to giving pleasure- it just tended to be like a flashfire, like throwing a lit match into gasoline, volatile and explosive. That’s what you agreed on though, agreed to use each other- use your attraction merely as a means to an end. Blowing off steam. There’s no need to be soft and languid when you could just take the emotion out of it all together.

And that’s just how you’ve always assumed it is for him. You’ve never minded, not really- you were a smart woman, reasonable and logical, but.. You were still only human. Of course you craved that connection, the physical touch; you would never admit that you wanted him to hold you until you fell asleep afterwards, that you wanted to run your fingers through his hair, or memorize every delicious curve and vein and scar on his body-

No, that would mean you thought of him beyond sex, and that was very strictly forbidden.

He walks you backward, lips and hands never straying far as you take turns undressing the other- his shirt is on the ground first, giving you not nearly long enough to revel in the sight before yours is being lazily pulled over your head.

The backs of your knees hit the bed frame, which feels like a reprieve at this point with how utterly weak you feel in his arms; so, you let yourself sink into the foamy cushion, casting your eyes upward for only a second as you quickly work at his belt.

You’re forced to stop though, leaning back when he moves, crowding your space by bending over you on the bed and propping himself up with a massive arm on either side, his face close enough to graze his nose over yours, “You in a rush tonight, baby?”

Petulantly, you lift your chin- capturing his bottom lip between your teeth, you give it just enough of a bite to hear him hiss before laving the tender spot with your tongue. But before you can kiss him again, before you can pull him down on top of you, or your hands can make their way back to his buckle- he easily lifts you up, placing you further back on the bed.

“Simon, what are you doing?”

The question comes out more harsh than you were going for, but he’s not making any fucking sense, and you feel like a top wound too tight, overly conscious of the slick staining your underwear, and the ache in your core that only he can fix-

And maybe for a second, you see a flash of anger in his eyes, standing at his full height while you stare up at him,

“What does it look like we’re doin’, Sec?”

You huff out a incredulous laugh, scooting off the mattress- eyes searching the floor for your shirt, hell, anything to cover up with,

“Oh. Back to Sec, huh?”

Scrubbing a palm over his face, he watches you purposely not look his way, “Fuckin’ hell, do you always have to have it out with me? Can never just let it be-”

“Let it be?”, shirt be damned, you turn back to face him- “Let what be, exactly, Ghost? This is how it’s been for over a year. I mean, fuck, longer than that! You hated me, I hated you- it was perfect. We could fuck each other, and it meant nothing-”

“Past tense.”

He cuts you off, and you feel like you might actually throw something until your brain finally registers what he said,

“What?”

“You’re usin’ the past tense.. ‘Hated’, ’meant’.”

You shake you head, hands coming up before plopping limp at your side, “What the fuck are you on about?”

When he takes a step forward, you take one back, “Words are important, love..” – another step closer, another step away, “‘Hated’ implies that you did, but you don’t anymore.”

“What is this? A language arts lesson?” You try to bring back that anger, that bitterness, but the way he’s looking at you, the way his voice is lower, brassy and rich- it’s hard to feel anything other than him.

A wall halts you, your bare skin protesting against the cold, smooth surface. You wish it would swallow you whole. But, he gets closer, and you’re still there, once again looking up at him,

“I don’t hate you, Saint. I’ve never hated you..” The back of his finger carves a slow path over your cheek, his head tilting to the side, “You were right though, about this not bein’ good.. But not for us- for you.”

“Ghost- I..”

“I’m not good for you. Never have been- I came into this selfishly, thinkin’ that it would be easy, that you would be like all the rest, get tired of me when I wasn’t able to give.. enough. And then it would be over.”

You’re held rapt by his admission, hanging on to every syllable- because you don’t think you’ve ever heard him say so much at once. And certainly never imagined it would have to do with the way he feels about you, bad or otherwise.

“Why did you stay?”

It’s because you’re so lost in the novelty of him in this moment, that it takes an awkwardly long few seconds to realize that you need to actually answer the question-

“I stayed..” — you blink, fighting to make your racing thoughts make sense, “Because you never tried to trick me- or be anything other than what you are, Simon. It was- is, enough. You’re enough.”

His eyelids flutter, a deep, soothing sigh blowing through his nose as he turns away- almost composing himself, in a way, if you know him as well as you think you do,

“You never wanted anythin’ more?”

“No.” You say, and it’s not a lie, you could leave it there- but there’s just something in his eyes that’s begging for more- “Not at first.”

“But now?”

“What do you want me to say, Simon? Of course, I want more. It’s kind of hard not to when you’ve had what we have, had sex with a person, and only that person, for over a year-”

His eyes widen, pupils consuming the honeyed amber that surrounds them right before his lips catch yours in that bruising sort of kiss you know so, so well. It’s full of every single thing he can’t put words to. And for a moment, he nearly gets lost in it, that finely threaded tether on his control slipping further and further- control he’s never been good at reining in when it comes to you.

***

I whisper your name, letting the taste of it linger over my tongue as I try to pull away, try to prolong every second I can get- quietly pleading with you to just slow down. Because I know what comes after-

But the way you chase after my lips, your nails clawing at me, my skin burning under your touch- fucking hell.

You shouldn’t be here, should’ve never agreed to this, with me. You’re too good for someone so broken. You have so much life to live, and I hate that you’ve wasted even a moment of it caring for me- wanting me.

Hm.. Saint. How fucking perfect- because only a saint could bring a devil to his knees.

And that you did. With every lingering touch, and every sweet smile you gave me, everytime you moaned my name, I let you in deeper and deeper. Until I started to hate when you left, hated that I only felt whole when I had you in my arms-

No, I’m no good for you.

Because if I had it my way, I would want to hold you hostage here, right where you belong. Where the world couldn’t touch you, couldn’t hurt you.

I would want you to crawl inside my veins, live in my bones- like you don’t already own the terrible void that’s been in my chest for longer than I can remember.

Might as well take it all. It’s as good as yours anyway.

I love you. I can’t say it- that wouldn’t be fair to you. My love is tainted and ruined, a blasphemous and dangerous thing- it’s only ever killed those I’ve given it to. So, I won’t curse you with those words.

But I hope you can feel it.

“Simon.. Please-” You frame my face in your hands, tugging at my hair, “I want you.”

***

Hearing his name, or maybe it’s the traitorous desperation in your voice, urges him to act. A small squeak escapes when he lifts you up, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms looped over his neck,

“I’m yours.”

It stuns you, how fluid and thoughtless he says it, like it’s nothing, like he’s said it a hundred times before. Like he didn’t just tell you exactly what you had mindlessly dreamed of hearing from him for months now.

He doesn’t pause though, kissing you again, swallowing your thoughts in his lips- and time slows as your back sinks into the covers. The comfort of his weight settling over you, his hips nestled between your thighs. It’s all so much, too much and not enough at the same time; but you think you could stay here forever, pinned under him, be the object of his desire for as long as he wanted, have him tell you that he’s yours over and over-

The bed dips as he breaks away, working your button and zipper open with practiced movements-

“Lift up, baby.”

You lift your hips, helping him gently tug your cargo pants down before standing and stripping out of his own. And like so many times before, you can’t help but to very disrespectfully let your eyes rake over his bulky frame- your bottom lip trapped between your teeth,

“Jesus, Simon.. That’s not fair.”

“Not fair for who?” He coos, crawling over you again, pressing chaste kisses over your torso as he goes.

A sharp gasp echoes when he latches onto your nipple, his teeth grazing across the sensitive bud, the thrill of blissful pain simmering through you-

“It’s just not fair..” You whine, back arching as he does the same thing to your other, the wet skin cooling too quickly when you feel him chuckle.

“‘M sorry, lovie.”

He teases you for what feels like an eternity, having learned your body better than you know it yourself anymore- only Simon knows how to turn you into putty in his hands, make you soft and pliable, keening and whimpering, a teary eyed mess. And usually he never takes it so far, never ruins you so thoroughly before you’ve even had his cock- but tonight he does.

Tonight, he seems determined to map out every inch of you, even allowing you to do the same in small doses. He lets your fingertips trace over his scars, lets your lips kiss all the broken parts of him-

“Will you tell me about them one day?” You ask, the question muffled against his neck.

It’s an innocent inquiry, honest and genuine, but you don’t miss how he tenses above you before pulling away just enough to see your face. Maybe if you knew him better, had more time with him like this, you would be able to discern the anguish in his eyes- but you don’t see it. Even though you’ll remember it.. this particular moment, it will stick with you far beyond just tonight.

“One day.”

You aren’t sure why you don’t believe him.

All too quickly the thought is lost when you feel him readjust, leaning up on his knees- and your mouth waters at the view, how his chest heaves, already covered in a satiny sheen of sweat; how he strokes his length before looking down to watch how he sinks into you, how you take him so fucking perfectly-

Just like in everything else tonight, he moves at an achingly languid pace- thrusting forward inch by inch, and pulling out just as slow- reveling in the way your slick glistens, all for him.

“Simon..”, you reach for him, needing him close, needing more, “Mh.. Simon- please..”

He comes to you, lets you pull his face down to yours, “Please what, baby?”

When he pushes into you again, it takes your breath away, your muscles clenching as he drives right up against the fleshy wall of your cervix, “You want more?”

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut until you feel him cradle your face, “Mm-mm, I want you to look at me, Saint.. Keep your eyes on me, yeah?”

Without another thought, you open them, your brows knitting together as you search his face. You expect to see something close to his usual bravado, maybe even a devious smirk, or a wolfish gleam; but it’s none of those things. His expression is one of longing and adoration- his demand wasn’t being made out of a desire to control you, he simply wants to see you.

He wants to be seen.

“Ok, Simon..”, you place your hand over his, turning into his palm to plant a kiss to the rough skin there, “On you.”

His next thrust is harder, causing your legs to tighten around him- and even when he finally gives in, driving into you faster and deeper, each time hitting that spot that has you clenching and whimpering, he still holds your face, still keeps his eyes steady on you- entranced at the way you fight to keep your own open for him.

“That’s it.. fuck-” He grunts, crushing his lips to yours, “My good girl.”

The praises he whispers next are far sweeter than anything he’s ever said before, punctuated and interrupted by his own breathless moans. His words and each building noise he gives only drives you toward your end- dragging him right along with it until you’re both falling over the edge.

And it’s your name he says as he spills deep inside you, your name said again like an answered prayer when you hug him closer- both of you holding onto the other like if you let go for even a second, you might drift away.

“I’ve got you..” You say it without really knowing why, but knowing that it feels right. Knowing that he has you, too. At least in this moment- and that’s enough. He’s enough.

How long you stay that way, you can’t be sure- long enough for your bodies to grow limp and the sweat on your skin to dry before he finally peels himself away. And you could cry from the abrupt absence of his warmth, his weight, him.

Thankfully, he’s back just as quick, a warm cloth in hand and a tender touch to clean you up- which isn’t new, Simon’s always taken the time for aftercare, but it’s never felt so.. intimate. He goes about it just as tenderly and thoroughly as he had causing the mess in the first place, his eyes never leaving your skin, lips pressing sweet kisses nearly every place he wipes.

It pulls at you, the pesky prickling of tears stinging your eyes again. Because you know there must be a reason for his stark change tonight- but, you just can’t bring yourself to break the moment by asking why.

He stays with you. It’s not an entirely spoken agreement, he doesn’t ask and you don’t suggest, but when he slips back into the covers with you, you certainly don’t complain. You let him pull you under his arm, smiling into his chest when he kisses the top of your head,

“Good night, Simon.”

You hear him take a deep breath, the muscles under your cheek relaxing as he exhales just as deep and long, “G’ night, Saint.”

***

Watery rays of sunlight wake you, the glow behind your eyelids rousing your mind enough to realize the spot beside you is vacant, the sheets long since cooled. It doesn’t bother you, not really, it’s just Simon. The only clues he left to prove last night wasn’t just some fucked up dream being his scent, still lingering so heavily on his pillow, and the blissful ache between your legs.

And you wish you could stay here, covered in the blankets, wrapped in his smell, reliving the vivid memories as they flash through your head- his words replaying on a loop in your ears.

I’m yours.

I’m yours.

I’m yours.

But your alarm has other plans, your chosen vocation entirely undeterred by your relationships woes and break-throughs. Just another day, right? You would see him at the morning debrief, and again for range training- nothing changes externally. But everything had changed on the inside, for you anyway.

Is it wrong to hope it had for him, too?

You go about your morning routine, joyfully unaware of the decisions made without your knowledge, of the actions taken and the consequences that would follow- you hum along to your music, the faintest smile tugging at your lips.

What a lovesick fucking fool you are.

It’s only when you’re reaching for your phone and keys from the desk that you see the piece of paper, carefully ripped from your own notepad and the silver metallic glint sticking out just beyond the corner.

You don’t recall the next seconds, or minutes- not really even the next hour. It all feels like that soft whooshing of TV static, endless and without form. And you find yourself begging for it to have been a dream, silently hoping that none of it really happened, that he hadn’t knocked on your door, that you hadn’t let him in.

That you hadn’t given him everything, and you hadn’t let him convince you he was yours.

Still stuck in that awful whooshing, you grip the piece of metal so hard you think the impression of his name might just brand itself into your palm, your boots stomping against the tile as you pass by all those familiar doors-

“What is this?”

Price looks up at you, and that dreadful nausea settles in the pit of your stomach when you see the resignation in his eyes.

“Saint-”

“When did they leave?”

“0400.”

They could already be there- Price wouldn’t let him do this.. Right?

“Recall them then, there’s still time. We’ll-”

He gives a long sigh, lips set into a thin line, “This might be our only shot, Saint. It’s not perfect, but there’s still a chance.”

***

There was never a chance.

Two weeks later, you stood on the tarmac- hair whipping violently in the wind as you watch the plane land. You stay there ,silently partaking in your own morbid, self-loathing vigil, still somehow hoping it isn’t true.

But there he is.

Simon Riley. His pine coffin draped with the flag he had fought for.

You watch Soap do his best, limping alongside it, his arms shaking and his eyes stained with tears. He gives you a hug afterward, whispering that he tried, he tried to bring everyone home.

You don’t blame him. Not for a second. You knew when you found Simon’s dog tag on your desk that he never intended on coming back. You knew when you read his neatly written note that you would never see him again. You would never hear his voice or feel his lips against yours. You would never get the chance to tell him that you were his, and that you always had been.

You didn’t know then, that a part of you always would be, didn’t know that he had left more behind than either of you could have imagined.

***

When the doorbell rings, you tear your eyes away from the now framed note. Flitting through the cozy flat with a smile growing on your face,

“Saint!” Gaz sweeps you into a bruising hug, your feet coming off the floor and a giggle erupting from your chest.

“I’m glad you all could make it.” You say a bit breathlessly once you're back on solid ground.

Price gives you a hug next, his beard tickling your cheek, “Wouldn’t miss it, sweetheart.”

“Aye, are ye kiddin’?” Johnny’s kiss lands just at the corner of your lips, his hold tighter, more familiar than the rest- “Miss our big lad’s first birthday? Never, bonnie.”

On cue, you turn at the sound of excited babbling to see the birthday boy in question, looking between the four of you. His copper brown eyes wide with curiosity, and a mess of honey blonde curls on his head.

I was so lucky to have had you..

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.

Your Simon.

+++

well, I’m ruined. and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m really not good at leaving angst too angsty, I’m too much of a hoe for silver linings and happy endings and all that fluffy sh*t.

forever just a lover girl at heart 🥲

#bee writes #this was too good how could I not #simon x reader #I’m so bad at angst #I’m just a soft girlie #call of duty #cod fandom #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

I am now thinking more about the Jurassic Park/World - Animorphs crossover AU (Dinomorphs?). It has stuck in my head like a bad song and I can't get it out.

InGen and any of the other companies involved with making the dinosaurs would be taken over by the Yeerks almost as soon as the Yeerks arrive. These companies have biological engineering capabilities approaching the level of the Arn, but on a much better planet. The Yeerks would be salivating over that.

Following on from this: Hybrid dinosaurs like the Indo-series Rex and Raptor or the Stegoceratops from the video games are probably Yeerk projects. The Yeerks are looking for ways to create more shock troops to unleash on the Andalites.

Similarly, we could expect to see even more interesting hybrids involving alien DNA. Velocihorks and Pterotaxxons and Geddosaurs. I imagine most of these hybrid projects would be failures that illustrate the depravity and utter inhumanity of the Yeerks, like the failed Aquatic Hork-Bajir project.

Dinosaur-controllers, mostly with medium-sized dinosaurs that can function as guards or shock-troops but aren't too big to fit inside of Yeerk ships. As much as Visser Three would love to have Tyrannosaur-Controllers on the payroll, they're just too big and their arms too tiny to be useful to the Empire on a day to day basis. (I imagine this is the same reason the Yeerks can't deploy the giant monsters on the Hork-Bajir homeworld to other planets - their spaceships just can't hold the critters, there's not enough room.)

Visser Three, of course, would have all the big dinosaur morphs. He can bypass the "too big to fit" limitation thanks to Alloran's morphing ability.

Because the Yeerks have to use smaller dinosaurs in their ships and Yeerk Pools, the Animorphs could still use their regular battle morphs (or in Ax's case, his normal Andalite body) for a lot of the fighting, if they aren't able to acquire dinosaurs themselves. And if Visser Three turns into something too big for them to handle, they can do what they usually do and run.

If the dinosaurs have escaped into the wild before the Animorphs get into the war, then smaller dinosaur morphs could be acquired at Cassie's barn.

Following on from the last point - if Cassie has any mid-size theropods at the Barn, or if there are any at The Gardens, then Tobias definitely gets stuck as one of those instead of a hawk.

How would the chimeric DNA of the dinosaurs affect morphing allergies? What if Rachel burps up a Baryonyx or an Ankylosaurus because it has the part of the crocodile DNA that she's allergic to in it? Is this how we find out Jake is allergic to Tree Frog DNA?

Toby and the Free Hork-Bajir adopt a dinosaur early on. I don't know what kind yet.

#Animorphs #Jurassic Park #Dinomorphs #headcanons and other ideas