cheeseanonioncrisps

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

died and i came back normal. more normal than before even. such a regular guy it’s freaking everyone out. i’m ironing my shirts & doing the sunday paper crossword puzzle and the people i love won’t stop crying

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

okay, inspired by @dragon-spaghetti's chronic pain Husk headcanons, I present Angel with atypical migraines

Angel getting knocked off balance after a few grueling weeks at the studio (because stress makes them worse), but like with the kind of vertigo that makes you feel like you're floating and untethered, but not spinning

Husk notices when something's off because Angel will stand up from the bar and pause with a hand outstretched before he starts walking, like he needs to recalibrate real quick

he lays on top of Husk with his face in Husk's chest because it's dark and then he'll forbid Husk from moving because that makes it worse, so Husk just kinda rests a hand on his back while they cuddle

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

"Old friend" is a gayass thing to call someone

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

every wikipedia entry for a comic book character is like

Classic Era: Professor Two-Apes was created when a bored alien glued two gorillas together with a magic rock. He later turned to evil when a colleague took credit for his research. In his debut appearance, Professor Two-Apes turned the Eiffel Tower into a banana.

Modern Era: Tu-Apes was the result of years of painful animal experimentation. He killed the doctor who created him, stole the blood-stained diploma off his wall, and now wears it around his neck. In the Conflagration crossover event, he was seen being beaten to death with one of his own spines. He was later resurrected by Satanists and currently suffers from a debilitating heroin addiction.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're being a huge fucking asshole about it so you can't reblog any of it

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Bad idea: Age gap discourse but in a fantasy land where there's multiple races who have vastly different lifespans and life styles.

Is it wrong for a 27 year old human to date a 140 year old stone elf, considering most stone elves don't get out of diapers till their 30s?

Is it wrong for a 80 year old dwarf to date a two year old fire wisp, when fire wisps only live up to 5 years (between the eruptions) and have memories of their past lives, so in a way they're "born" at age 400,000+? That octogenarian dwarf is way younger than the fire wisp that's only physically younger than some of the socks the dwarf has!

Is it wrong for a chronomancer who was never born to date, well, anyone? They are zero years old and infinity years old and negative one hundred and seventeen years old all at once. They look like an old human, sure, with the long white beard and the wrinkly skin, but as far as anyone can tell, they've always looked like that. We've seen the cave paintings.

Is it wrong for a 30 year old lizardman (that's old in lizardman years) to date a human who is 60 years old in biological years (because of aging spells), 26 years old in lived-experience years, but only 13 years old in calendar years? (ie, they were born 13 years ago, but spent some of that time in sideways timelines, so they've lived more years than have passed in their home timeline?)

Is it wrong for a 12,000 year old dragon date a pile of 400 kobolds when kobolds only live like 10 years on average, but reach full maturity in one year? And if you disagree, can you do anything about it? You do know what happened to the last policeman who tried to arrest a dragon, right? Their city is still smoldering, 50 years later.

Is it wrong for anyone to date the time worm? It's the same age, every year. So the age gap can only intensify. If you start dating the time worm when you're both the same age, when do you break it off because you've become too much older than them?

And most confusing of all... What about the fairies? They could be anything between a thousand and a day old, they would lie about their age either way, and they can look like whatever they want. There's fairies we know for a fact have been around since the founding of The City of Towers, who met the silent mother herself, and also look like they're at most ten years old. Is it wrong to date them, or just really uncomfortable for everyone who sees it? And on the other side there's fairies who are "born" (hatched? They come from plants, I'm not sure what the verb even would be. Seeded? Sprouted, maybe) this week who are already appearing like middle-aged men and dancing with widows in what looks like a scheme to run off with her fortune but they never take the money, because what would a fairy want with worthless metal discs? Maybe fairies have a hive mind or genetic memory or reincarnation with full memories, they'd never tell you or give you a straight (or consistent) answer anyway.

Stone golems are really the only inter-race dating situation anyone can agree on. They're unthinking & unmoving solid rock during the day, so those hours don't count. Thus their "real age" is a nice even half of their true age. So if you meet a stone golem who was dug out 30 years ago, watch out: that's a 15 year old, and if you're a 25 year human, that's too young for you, even though their dig-date is five years before your birth-date.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

back to the future dash simulator

🪲 mickjaggermarryme24

Is George McFly’s son ok? I just went to one of his book signings and his son was double taking every time he saw the line. Does he not know who his dad is?

❤️ match-made-in-sp4ce

yeah lol Marty goes to my school and he’s always like that. He once blew off an invitation to get milkshakes at the diner after school bc he “couldn’t afford that”. Like honey your dad is a millionaire, you’re not fooling anyone.

244 notes

🩷 leia-organas-wife

ok but like, why is Lorraine Baines McFly kinda…

#not to be a lesbian but oh my god #holy fucking shit #not star wars

34,899 notes

🧶 fandom-news85

Apparently renowned Sci-fi author George McFly, is suing Lucasfilms for use of the name Darth Vader in the Star Wars trilogy (1977-1981). The author first coined the name in his first book Warnings from the Stars, published 1975.

#news #george mcfly #star wars #lucasfilms

13,567 notes

🥫 reagancansuckmydick

🧪 mad-scientist55

Marty is my best friend and is so much better MARTYSWEEP

🪇 dewey-louis

wait, was anyone gonna tell me the account I follow for science theories is IRL friends with George McFly’s 16 year old son???

#thats so random wtf #i thought you were so much older #ive followed you since 73 #so you’ve been on here at least 12 years #how did you two even meet?

4009 notes

🎸 thisisheavyman

hi!! Im Marty McFly, im new on here. Check out hte new single my band the Pinheads released. It’s available on tape, cd and it’s gonna be on vinyl on March 17.

🌸 jenny-mercury

babe! You’re finally on here!!!

3890 notes

💪 buff-tannen

incels are so dumb, if nice guys finish last then why am I, the worst guy, not getting any either?

#biff’s ramblings

2 notes

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

La letra con amor, entra. (via)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

"this too shall pass" well can it fucking get on with it

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

biologist here! why are plants green? well they suck up air from the sky (blue) and mix it with the sunlight (yellow) i fucking love science.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

leftist antisemites are really everywhere on this hellsite making & reblogging their posts like “the Jews have too much power and privilege and actually their very recent genocide was not that bad compared to what my group experiences and antisemitism doesn’t even exist in my country and especially not in liberal spaces”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I made this, please feel free to use

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

apparently people are now purchasing thick water to make slimes with because of a trend on tiktok

thick water is for disabled people who can’t swallow properly. stores usually have extremely limited supplies of it.

please don’t buy thick water for fun or to make slime with. it’s literally the only way some disabled people can drink anything. It’s not a fucking toy

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

looking at that one booktok post and didn’t realize how funny this is. uou do not know what a safe word is