Here is my TSE Secret Santa for @stories-dearheart ! I used the prompt of Bhatair giving Gudrun a peace offering. Hope you enjoy, and a very merry Christmas!
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Evergreen
On their first Christmas together, Bhatair gave Gudrun a red velvet gown, trimmed with white fur along the hem of the skirt. It came with a white fur capelet that fastened at her throat and wrapped around her shoulders. Bhatair’s arm stayed around her shoulders, too, when he fastened it on her, and she leaned back against his chest to let him hold her there.
“It’s beautiful,” she murmured, even though she hadn’t yet had the chance to observe that to be the case, looking in the mirror to see it on herself. Why move from such a pleasant position to confirm something she knew was true? The dresses Bhatair bought her were always beautiful.
“I know it’s not as beautiful as the one I ruined when I pushed you in the mud,” Bhatair said leaning his head down towards hers. She laughed, lightly, and rolled her eyes. “...but I thought it was a little more festive, at least,” he continues.
“Oh, very much so,” Gudrun agreed. “While that was, of course, a beautiful dress that I will never see the likes of again -” Bhatair chuckled, and she could feel it in his chest. “-that one wasn’t quite as suited for winter weather, so I suppose I can let it slide. Just for today.” She was certainly warm, wrapped as she was in velvet and fur and Bhatair.
“Just today?” Bhatair said, nestling his chin on her head. “What remarkable Christmas spirit you have.”
“It must be an effect of the dress,” Gudrun mused. “I suppose that was your clever plan all along.” She tilted her head up to look at him, and he leaned in to kiss her.
“You caught me,” he said, after he pulled away, his mouth still only inches from hers.
She laughed, reached up a hand to wrap around the back of his head, and pulled him down for another kiss. And another, and another, and another.
~*~*~
On their fifth Christmas together, Bhatair gave Gudrun a vibrant gold and silver gown that shimmered enough to put the stars to shame. The skirt was full, silver cloth pleated between the gold, and the sleeves draped down elegantly. Gudrun stood straight-backed looking it over in the mirror, while Bhatair stood behind, admiring her.
It was actually Bhatair. If it hadn’t been, she would have strangled him whenever he did come back. She had almost begun to give up hope that he would be back in time for Christmas this year, after counting the months, the weeks, the days she spent with that doppelganger hovering around. She had begun to think he would soon not find anything here in Bellingrath that was enough to bring him back again.
She wondered if the budget for this gift came from his finances here, or there.
She wondered if the beautiful, extravagant dress was meant in some way to be an apology for how long he had been gone, as well as for the ruined dress that all his gifts were an apology for. She was not certain how many more apologies she could take.
“Gorgeous,” Bhatair breathed behind her, and it sounded sincere enough, it sounded like it still had that awe his voice had held when they were young and newly in love. It sounded like he still loved her. Adored her. It sounded like he still did not want to ever spend a day apart from her side, so how could she trust it?
She spun, just fast enough for the skirt to flare out around her, and tossed her hair behind her shoulders, and smiled at him. “I love it.”
She had to trust it, that radiant look in his eyes, because if she did not, what would they have left?
She wanted to tell him that the only gift she wanted from him was the truth. But he didn’t give it to her that year, either. It was time to stop expecting him to.
~*~*~
On their tenth Christmas since they had been married, Bhatair and Gudrun were not together. He did not even try to send her a dress as a peace offering. He must have known how idiotic it would have been to think a dress could make up for their child. He had that much self-awareness, at least.
~*~*~
On their twenty-third Christmas since they had been married - and far too few of those spent together - Bhatair gave Gudrun a forest-green gown all trimmed in delicate white lace, like a light dusting of snow on pine trees. She held it up and at it, not in the habit of receiving gifts from him anymore. She wasn’t sure how to manage it. She wasn’t sure how she felt. Was that pang in her chest the joy of coming home to something familiar? Or was it sorrow for what once had been and could never be again? Was it anger, for all his half-measures and unspoken apologies over the years?
“I thought, green,” Bhatair said haltingly, standing before her and watching her face, perhaps even more eager to figure out what she was feeling than she was herself. “Green, for life. For starting again.”
“Evergreens aren’t supposed to start again,” Gudrun said, stiffly and perhaps more coldly than she had intended. “They are supposed to stay green, always.”
“I’m sure you’re sick of me getting you dresses,” he said with a sigh, though Gudrun hardly wanted to count the years it had been since the last time he’d done this. “But I tried to think of other ideas, and none of them seemed right. This was always our tradition.”
“It was,” Gudrun acknowledged. “And I never did get tired of it.”
“WIll you try it on?” he asked, hopeful.
She draped the dress over her arm, walked over to him, and kissed him on the cheek. When she pulled back, his face was tinted red. Like a schoolboy in love, undone by such a little thing. Like the Bhatair she had fallen in love with, the Bhatair she had married.
She did not know if they could begin again, but maybe there was something still growing that they could nurture.
“Yes,” she said. “I'll try it on, for you.”
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notes: year 10 isn't meant to be the same year Enel was taken, because I don't think that's how the math works out, I just wanted nice regular numbers. I did think about doing 15 as well but that period of Gudrun's life is too much of a mystery for me to attempt.
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Welp...I just binged the entire (up to date) silver eye comic, in one afternoon no less. I was...going to do something else today. I have no idea what to think actually.
But I figured you'd want to know. Thanks again for the rec. :)
LISTEN, when I first read it early this year I started it around 10 one night and was like “okay, I’ll just read a little bit”….and then was up till 3:45 in the morning and finished the whole thing 😂. So I feel ya, it’s hard to put down!
How did you like it? Any favorite characters? I probably relate the most to Apen, but I was shocked that Avidan became my favorite on my recent re-read.
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@captaingondor, your TSE Secret Santa is done a little later and is a little less polished than I was planning, but I hope it gives you a smile! Merry Christmas, and don't let the weavers shred you to pulled pork.
PROMPT: Marcus and Enel on Christmas morning
“… For - for Bradley Hand’s sake, Enel! What are you even doing here? You – you just put that candle up to the clock right this minute, and tell me what time it is!”
“Four-ish.”
“God himself isn’t up at this hour!”
“But Marcus, I thought you didn’t believe in God.”
“That’s complicated. And doesn’t impact my statement. And really isn’t that important compared to the fact that you just woke me up at four in the morning. Mrs. St. Claire would be having a fit if she found you missing this early! What are you even doing in the library at this hour?”
“Well. What are you doing in the library this hour?”
“That’s a tu quoque fallacy. I’m not awake enough for this kind of thing.”
“Well, you’re awake enough to speak Greek, seems like.”
“Latin.”
“And besides, you hadn’t even gone to bed. Or home. You were just slumped in that armchair. I figured, fair game. If he wants to go to actual bed, I’m doing him a favour. And if he wants to have hot chocolate, great.”
“How did you even know I was – what? Hot chocolate? What hot chocolate?”
“I just… every Christmas morning I have to go unwrap presents with Avidan at the Capitol, and there’s church, where Velvare makes Avidan ask me to come sit with them, and then there’s a toooooon of speeches and presentations back at the Capitol, and then Velvare sits and just watches us eat Christmas dinner and it’s really awkward, and then a bunch of dancing and stuff and just. There’s never any time for me to go back to the orphanage. Or here. And I always thought Christmas at the library would be cool. You told me about drinking fancy coffee by the fireplace last year. And I don’t have any fancy coffee, but Idony’s got loads, and she doesn’t mind if we take some at Christmas. So I snuck in, and I thought I’d make a pot of it before you woke up so you could have it ready. And then I saw you were actually here.”
“Enel.”
“I’m – I’m sorry. Marcus?”
“No. Don’t be. I’m only rather surprised.”
“You okay?”
“Hm. And you didn’t catch anything on fire, or make a big mess out of the sitting area by the fireplace?”
“… I, ah, didn’t catch anything on fire. Are you mad?”
“I just need a moment. Enel, you’re... not a bad kid. Let’s go have some hot chocolate.”
“Merry Christmas?”
“Merry Christmas."
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