#Meaningful Good Night Messages For Sister | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ohthemis · 2 years

Note

Hey I don't know if you're taking requests, if not then please ignore this ask :)

Can I request a scenario where the tot men forget their s/o birthday due to being busy with work? Maybe angst to fluff? It was my birthday today and no one besides my mom and sister remembered so I'm a bit down

Love your writing and keep up the great work :D

tot boys and forgetting your birthday

characters: artem wing, marius von hagen a/n: this is soooo late, but if you’re reading this, i hope that looking back, you still enjoyed ur birthday <3 super belated birthday from me, anon

ARTEM WING

you absentmindedly press the power button on your phone, once again checking for notifications. you’re greeted by celestine’s name, followed by kiki’s, then captain morgan’s rather short but nonetheless, meaningful, message. even kanon’s message appeared not too long ago. “happy birthday to the best legal consultant!” his happy message reads.

despite all the cheerful messages that have popped up anywhere between 12:00AM last night to a few hours ago, you can’t bring yourself to check the message, or even clear them out of your notifications. the stinging ache of the fact that artem had forgotten.

you swipe up, unlock your phone, and give him a call. it’s 6:00, he should be on his way home since most of your cases are already or almost are on the process of being cleared up. “mc? i’m on my way home, love.” he’s smiling at you, not a single sign of guilt or anger or anything that might make you think it was deliberate. you think that your birthday just slipping his head might actually be worse.

it’s silent for a while, and when he looks at you, his heart feels a pang at your crumbling face. “mc? what’s wrong?”

“do you know why i had a day off today? or did you forget that too?”

silence.

the calm.

then followed the storm.

“i am so sorry. i’m on my way home. i’ll take you out tonight, alright? i’m so sorry, mc. a client called and i’ve been driving back and forth from the firm to wherever and-, i am so sorry.”

you nod because you’re not sure he'll even understand what you’d say between your teary babbling and muffled sniffles.

“i’ll be home soon. i love you, ok? and happy birthday, love.”

then followed a night of good food, good company, and heartfelt apologies.

MARIUS VON HAGEN

“marius,” you hiss under your breath, “where are you?”

“no need to sound so mad, jiejie! i’m just finishing up here, i’ll be home soon.”

“home? marius-,” you take a sharp breath, “marius, what do you mean you’ll be home soon?”

“uh...should i not drive home?”

you hang up. you’re in a dress HE got for you, sitting on a table HE reserved, and all you wanted was for him to show up. so much for “i’ll make this the perfect day”.

but if there’s one thing you know, you’re not going to let that ruin this moment. if he forgets, that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy your day. you order and eat. because hell, nothing was going to stop you from claiming what was rightfully yours. a good fucking dinner, even if it was without your good fucking boyfriend.

you storm in your shared home, marius jumping from his seat on the couch. “are you mad?”

“check the date today, marius.”

maybe he just didn’t feel like it, or maybe it was the unbridled rage in your voice but he does as you say without any further questions. he visibly pales, “oh.”

“yeah. oh.”

“something came up, i-”

“don’t even bother marius. it’s my birthday and you’re not ruining this for me twice.”

“mc, i’m so sorry.”

“let’s talk tomorrow, yeah? good night.” you don’t wait for his response before heading up the stairs.

“good night, i love you.”

“not right now, marius.”

later that night, you’ll feel the bed behind you sinking as marius gently slips in, and if you hear a few stray “i’m sorry”s and “i love you”s, marius can just wonder why you’re in a substantially better mood in the morning.

#tot #tot x reader #Tears of Themis #tears of themis x reader #artem x reader #artem wing #tears of themis artem #zuo ran #zuo ran x reader #marius x reader #marius von hagen #tears of themis marius #lu jinghe #lu jinghe x reader

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mattsdollie · 3 months

Text

How could you ?

WARNINGS; angst, cheating trope 😞 fluff (?) at the end !!!!!

"mattt" you groan as you feel him leaving your shared bed. "Sorry, baby. i have to get ready, we're going on tour, " Matt whines. you lazily pull yourself out of bed and give him a peck on his nose as he goes to shower and you go to pack your stuff to go back to your college dorm room. you totally forgot that you had exams the next week, so you hysterically brush your clothes back into your backpack and grab your keys as you left, shutting the door to the triplets' house behind you.

It's currently 2.47 AM. You checked your phone because it has been blowing up for at least 3 hours whilst you were studying. "What's this all about?" you thought to yourself. you see your bestfriends message "y/n, honey are you okay? i fucking told you it wasn't a good idea to be dating someone who' famous" you stared at your phone, not understanding what was going on until you got a text from your sister "y/n, what the fuck is this ?" she said as she sent a photo. the photo was of Matt and a short, skinny blonde, matts arm wrapped around her waist as he led her to a car at what seemed to be a party. He looked slightly drunk. "what the actual fuck ?" you replied, feeling yourself fill with a burst of rage and sadness. your eyes filled with tears. Your phone vibrated as matt called you, you decline. "y/n baby please answer my calls." matt pleaded in his text message with a sense of urgency. "what the fuck, matt ? we've been dating since you were 16, me 15. and you fucking cheat on me ?" you sent the message with tears filling your eyes and rolling down your face. "baby, please. i was just helping the girl get a ride. nothing we did was meaningful." he replied. *bzz*, your phone started vibrating again, matt was calling you. this time you picked up. "y/n, please. you're the love of my life. i fully regret what i did. i love you so much please don't leave me over a stupid mistake i made while i was drunk." he said, shakily though tears. "i'm studying for my exams and this is what you do while you're on tour? you go fuck a tiny texas blondie? how could you, Matthew." you said, feeling your lips quiver. "n–no, y/n please. please let me fix this. im coming home right now, i'll see you in the morning. just please, let me fix this." he said, breathing heavier, struggling to breathe as he cried. "whatever." you said hanging up the phone to soon burst into tears. how could my own boyfriend do this to me? after 6 whole years of dating? you think to yourself, as you curl up on your bed, knees against your chest, tears rolling out of your eyes.

The next morning, you find yourself in your bed with the same clothes as last night, your eyes sore, lips plump from crying all night. you pick your phone up, feeling heavy hearted and empty as you remember what happened the night before. you see matt texted you " y/n, i'll be there at 2pm. please love. lets talk it out. im so sorry." tears start filling your eyes, threatening to fall out as you think about what happened all over again. you look to the upper right of your phone to check the time and see its already 1.58 P.M. "fuck." you whispered out as you hopped in the shower. 10 minutes into the shower you hear the doorbell to your apartment ring followed with matt calling out for you. you text him from the shower " theres keys in the shoe rack. just come in and wait, im in the shower, im almost done. " you type as you step out of the shower, pausing the music to do your skincare and brush your teeth. you wrap your towel around yourself as you step out, seeing matt sat on your bed, eyes puffed, nose and ears red. he gets up to hug you, nuzzling his nose in the crevice of your neck "i'm so sorry. i dont know why i did it. i promise there was nothing intimate. i was just deprived to feel love but she didnt love me like you did. i love you so much please, dont leave me." he said, sniffling and you felt his tears hit your shoulder. your arms wrap around him, your fingers entangled in his brown locks. "it's okay. you should've just called me. i felt so hurt, seeing the photos. please, never do that again ?" you say, voice shaky trying your best not to burst into tears again. "i promise." he said under his breath, not having the energy to saying with his chest"

THE ENDD ☺️☺️

this is my first EVER time writing a fanfic or story outside of school. if there is anything i could work on, please let me know 🥹🫶

#sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolos #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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michelleelizabethtanner · 10 months

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What are some of the key things you think about when writing for Brio? And any tips for writing scenes of confrontation between them?

P.S. Rough Night is the GOAT!

Aw, thank you, Anon! I still can’t bring myself to read through Rough Night after its completion, so your words mean a lot. I’m genuinely so touched. Thank you. ❤️❤️

Idk how good my tips for writing are. It’s so off the cuff for me, usually, and largely done by feel rather than overt planning. I don’t have any education on actual writing conventions and just try to imitate the type of writing I like to read. I’ve never paid so much attention to how dialogue is broken up or what descriptors people use in my life!!! 😂

I think most fic writing starts with a few key scene ideas. For me, there are generally a couple defining moments in my mind that really embody the feel of the message I want to convey. I can see clearly the mood, the tone, the volume of voice, the time of day, the weather, the facial expressions, the unspoken feelings. I guess the whole idea is that you, as the author, really understand your subjects on a deeper level than you plan to actually write in words. You should be able to see their entire histories that led up to those particular defining moments. Because the entirety of who they are has brought them down whatever the path has been to the moment(s) of impact. At least that’s how I do it. I have to have a connection to the characters as people to be able to tell a story about them.

And these defining moments don’t even have to be big or loud ones. They just have to have meaning in your own mind for the weight they carry. For example, in the beginning of Rough Night, I wanted to show a realistic path that I imagined would walk Brio toward each other in their tentative baby steps, and just how all those stars could possibly align for them to do so. I don’t think there were any big, loud moments in the beginning, but to me they were emotionally vulnerable and therefore impactful little bits of personal concessions from both Beth and Rio that allowed them progress. Acts of service (so to speak) from both Beth and Rio, where they selflessly provide each other pleasure at different times as a means of showing the other that they understand the other’s circumstance. Rio’s platonic presence and touch at a time he knew Beth was in an emotionally difficult place with her sister. Then a mirrored small, platonic physical touch initiated by Beth at a similarity difficult moment for Rio. A moment that she wouldn’t normally even be around for, showing support, showing a lot more just with her presence, going outside her comfort zone and actually touching when we all know she doesn’t do that. But Rio does. So she did it for him. Used his own language to say something meaningful without using words.

So I guess what I mean is, you should decide who these characters are in your mind and try to make us see them the way you see them. Give us glimpses into your cradle-to-grave knowledge of who they inherently are by showing us small behaviors that keep them consistently in character as much as possible. Don’t spell out their feelings in your narration. (This is the biggest rewrite I wish I could do in Rough Night. All the blatant telling instead of showing that makes me cringe.) Show us how they feel by their actions or even with their dialogue that very often may speak out loud the complete opposite of what they really feel. But we will all know they’re lying because we will see it on them through their small actions, their furtive glances, their tentative touches stolen in dark quiet moments. Think “I’m gonna teach you” there on her street in the dead of night. The way you could seeeeeee the feelings on him as he touched her hair. Think his little hand touch under the table, and her barely repressed smile about it. Baby touches. No big proclamations. “You trust me? / God no.” The opposite of what they really mean.

As for conflict and confrontation, I guess it largely depends on the moment and context. I know Rough Night has a climactic moment of confrontation where they are very verbose with their feelings. An OOC honesty, particularly for Rio who is verbally reserved and calculating. But it took something like 50+ chapters of smashing these two characters together in an increasingly intimate way for me to feel comfortable giving Rio quite that much dialogue. I do ultimately like how it turned out, but it took a lot of thought for me to feel comfortable writing the dialogue in quite that way. And don’t get me wrong, I do think Rio can give big speeches in emotional moments. Think 2.13, the way he prowled that loft and gave her a whole monologue on his emotions, but all veiled in threats. Rough Night didn’t veil his feelings, but I thought it would work because their trust had changed by that point, and he needed those words to progress their stagnation. But I would never give Rio an entire monologue like that in the absence of 50+ (or however is necessary) chapters of buildup and character development, allowing his character to feel the desperate need to behave so inconsistently with who he normally is.

Be careful about Rio, in particular, talking too much. This is maybe just my own preference (because I’ve seen people enjoy the catharsis of Rio finally making a grand speech in his own defense,) but nothing takes me out of a story more than when Rio suddenly begins to unload all his emotions without any building blocks getting him to that kind of openness. Think 20 questions. He had a lot to say in that confrontation scene. He was angry and hurt and also kinda cocky and smug because all Beth’s actions still chose him despite the ways she hurt him. But he couldn’t give her a speech laying it all out. He veiled it. He teased her and flirted with her and made her feel stupid for being the one who’s desperate and emotional and out of control. When in reality, Rio felt all those things too. And in the end he cut her as deeply as he could with almost no words at all. He used his presence, his oppressive sexuality, his knowledge of her in the most intimate of ways to cut her to the core and humiliate her in ways she would feel resonantly and for a long time. That’s how Rio fights.

Beth, on the other hand, is more verbal in her hostility, but remember, she has a problem with true vulnerability. Another thing that tends to take me out of a story is when Beth suddenly becomes too emotionally open and honest. She has the capacity for it in her inner monologue, but she rarely says what she means out loud in ways that expose her. She’s honest in moments of dishonesty. Think “if I have to bake another cookie I will die.” That is her truth, but she isn’t saying it in a true vulnerable way. She is intentionally using a small piece of her shameful darkness to manipulate and deceive. She uses others’ vulnerability to her advantage, even if she pretends to not notice or understand them. Think “that’s what I am? Work?” Oh, so you DID know he gives a damn about you then, right Beth? You just pretend not to so you didn’t have to experience the personal vulnerability of letting him down easy when you obviously used him for your personal means, thinking you two were done. See, she’s kinda like that. Manipulative yet also darkly honest when it suits her. Or when she’s giving us a rare glimpse that she truly sees and understands the vulnerabilities of the other person. “Gotta know if you’re good enough. / For you?” I mean, my god, her capacity for brutal and targeted honesty after she’s pretended to not know or not understand, all while veiling the actual truth in the process is like an art form. So writing her as too emotionally honest with her own vulnerabilities without (again) building those important building blocks toward character change would hit really OOC and, for me, ruins a really good story.

Take all this with a large grain of salt because what makes a fic “good” is so largely subjective. People like all sorts of things, but most of all, we love seeing Brio together, however that may be. A lot of the above is my personal preference and the things I think about when reading and writing Brio. But writing is a creative process so I think you and others should do whatever speaks to you. Helping us see your vision is what generally creates that magic and excitement about what we will find out next. Every author has their own voice and unique talents. I look forward to more fics in the fandom!!

#fic writing #writing Brio #asks #good girls nbc #rough night

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thestagsheadsblog · 2 years

Text

Seeing You Again (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x Reader, Childhood Friends

Word Count: 2.4K

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Read on AO3

Note: Thanks for all the love on this fic and sorry for the looong delay on this chapter!

"A new letter from the USS Blue Balls came in the mail!"

Hearing your sister's voice from the entrance hallway you dashed out of your room to meet her in the kitchen, snatching the letter out of her hand.

"Read it to me," she requested.

"Absolutely not," you laughed as you inspected the postage. Direct from the Fleet Post Office in San Francisco, otherwise no evidence whatsoever as to where Bob may have been at the moment the letter was posted.

Emily shrugged and poured herself some cereal. "It's actually really cute that he writes you letters like he's off fighting in the Civil War or some shit. 'My dear Miss Y/L/N'," she teased with an exaggerated good ol' boy Southern accent. "Most guys would just send a picture of their dick and leave it at that."

"Robbie is a bit more sentimental than that," you smiled, tempted to open the letter then and there.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind a picture of whatever he is packing," she estimated, ignoring your eyeroll and refusal to respond.

This was the third letter you had received from Bob since he had left. You occasionally got texts and emails from him, of course, but his internet access was sporadic at best and the letters became the most effective way to have a meaningful 'conversation' over the weeks he had been at sea.

Before he left, you had met one last time in San Diego; his bags packed and dressed in the same khaki uniform he had worn the first night you saw him at The Hard Deck.

"I didn't know aircraft carriers had mailing addresses," you said in wonderment as he handed you a slip of paper containing details of his carrier, squadron, rank and a San Francisco address in neat script.

"It's more of a forwarding service," he explained. "Anything sent there will get to me...eventually. Just be aware that they may, uh, read everything you send."

You smiled at the blush rising on Bob's cheeks as he talked about the prospect of their private correspondences being read by strangers at the post office.

"So no snail mail sexting is what you're telling me?" you joked.

Bob laughed and grew impossibly redder. "I don't think they care so much about what my girlfriend has to say to me as they do about security threats but...yeah. They may still read it."

You swallowed and looked up at him with a quirked brow. "Your girlfriend?"

Bob looked back, eyes blown wide in panic. "Sorry...I just thought...you know, the way things were going," he raked his hand through his hair. "I probably should have asked you if that was the case-"

You pulled him down into a kiss to put him out of his misery. He sighed in relief against your lips.

"Now I can finally tell all the mean girls in 4th period math that Robbie Floyd is actually my boyfriend without it being a lie," you said with a cheeky smile as he pressed his forehead against yours.

While you were elated to know that you and Bob had finally made your relationship official, your joy quickly subsided into an uneasy wistfulness. You hated to see him go. It brought back heartsick memories of crawling to the back window of your mom's minivan, waving at your best friend as he chased you down the street as fast as his legs could take him, until you disappeared around the bend following your dad's U-Haul. You wouldn't see each other again for 17 years.

The day after Bob's carrier had departed from North Island your mood had matched the gloom of the marine layer that settled over San Diego. Your last message to him on your phone remained unseen. He was officially off-the-grid, your only comfort being a handwritten address to San Francisco.

You had felt a bit silly sitting down to handwrite your first letter. You hadn't written a personal correspondence via snail mail since your parents made you send letters to Santa Claus at the North Pole. Mailing something to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean seemed just as whimsical and preposterous. Would he ever read it or, like your letters to the North Pole, would you be sending this letter for your own sake? You had to believe he would, so you took to the task with just as much sincerity as your childhood wish lists.

Lieutenant Floyd, I should have sent this letter 17 years ago, but at least now you finally have proof to show your friends confirming that you have a girlfriend...

Even though you were more than certain Bob held a deep affection for you, you were still hesitant at this early stage in your relationship; more so now that he was going to be gone for months. You didn't want to wax poetic about your feelings for him, nor did you want to go full pornographic by divulging everything you wished you had done with him before he left. Instead, you approached the letter as though he were just beside you, a form of pillow talk that he could enjoy during his rare moments of downtime, sitting in his officer's berth just below the flight deck.

You told him how the weather had turned as soon as he left, how Emily had tried to talk you into going to The Hard Deck again (something you were in no way interested in doing without him being there). You told him about how your mom asks how he is fairing more often than she does her own daughters. You updated him on the shows he is missing that you will need to binge together; the latest shitty Hallmark movie with terrible acting you will force him to watch. You confessed that San Diego wasn't the same without him and that you hoped to get a letter from him soon.

You had frowned as you came to the end of the letter, unsure how to sign off. Your pen hovered over the paper before quickly inscribing Love, and your name. You folded and sealed the letter in an envelope before you could overthink your words and the next day you had popped it into the nearest mailbox, next stop San Francisco.

Weeks went by before his first letter arrived, dingy and banged up as though it went through a war zone. Forwarded to Dr. Y/L/N and your home address.

In classic Bob style, he was polite and eager in his letter, thanking you for writing to him, expressing how he had hoped to get something from you at every Mail Call, confessing how he was missing you too. He wrote in deliberately vague details about his work and in explicit minutiae on the sophomoric antics of his shipmates. He told you about how long it had taken him to get used to sleeping on a carrier again, to the sound of the catapult and Growlers landing just over his stateroom. He refused in advance to watch the Hallmark movie you suggested (a toothless claim if you ever read one). He explained how it was possible to still feel lonely when you were in close quarters with over six-thousand people. He couldn't wait to get back to San Diego.

At the bottom of the page, he had signed off Love, Robbie.

Each subsequent letter was more substantial than the last as though you were both working through your hesitancy - unsure of how much enthusiasm and candidness you could unload on the other without crossing into the territory of a Stage 5 Clinger. By the third letter, Bob had apparently thrown caution to the wind and you marveled at the thick weight of the envelope which you could only assume contained more than just notebook paper.

Despite Emily's protestations, you set the most recent letter aside in your room to read when you got home from work. The letters deserved to be treated better than a common text for immediate consumption. Half the excitement was waiting until the end of the day, theorizing for hours on what he may have written about or what was included in the envelope that had come from a ship halfway around the world. Your workload at the office always suffered from your daydreams on the days you knew you had a letter waiting at home.

That night you grabbed a quick dinner, poured yourself a glass of wine and kicked the door to your bedroom closed with a buzz of anticipation. How a long-distance relationship with such sporadic contact still managed to bring you so much happiness was something you might never fully understand, but you knew it had more than a little to do with the comfort of knowing Bob was out there somewhere and he was thinking of you...a lot apparently, if this latest letter was any indication.

You set your glass on the nightstand and finally tore the envelope open, unfolding Bob's thick letter and releasing a small stack of photographs that fell onto your lap.

Setting the letter aside for a moment you picked up the photos to inspect them. A smile spread across your face as you looked at the image of you and Bob at no more than eight years old, sitting on the swing set that his father had assembled in their backyard. You chuckled at your gap-toothed grins and the glasses that were too big for Bob's face even back then. The next photo was from Halloween a few years later, each of you in a silly costume and a pillowcase full of candy, with neat cursive on the back confirming Halloween 2000.

Photo after photo displayed little snippets of your childhood, some you remembered being taken as clearly as if it had been yesterday and others unearthed long forgotten memories of your life on that quiet street. You laughed aloud at a photo of you and Bob smiling innocently with a bucket of water balloons while a soaked Emily sobbed just out of focus behind you.

"Okay, I need to know what he wrote that's making you laugh so much," Emily's voice came from just outside your bedroom door.

"Come in," you said. "You need to see these."

Emily entered your room and flopped on the bed beside you. You handed her the photographs and turned your attention to Bob's letter.

"No way," she said in wonderment. "Where did he find these?"

As soon as I told my mom I had run into you a few months ago and we were hanging out she went digging in our attic to find these pictures. She mailed to me on the carrier a few weeks ago. I thought you'd like to see them too. I got a good laugh out of some of them.

"His mom found them and sent them on to him," you explained as you continued reading his letter.

"He had his mom dig out all these old photos of the two of you?"

"I don't think he made her, but she did."

"And he sent them to you..."

"That's what was in with this letter," you replied.

Emily propped herself up on her elbow and looked at you directly. "Girl," she exhaled. "This man is in love with you."

A blush bloomed on your face, and you found yourself at a loss. You didn't want to brush off her words or deny her theory, but you felt more than a bit overwhelmed. You were certain no one had ever been in love with you before, much less someone of the caliber of Bob. You weren't quite sure whether you were ready to admit that love may be a part of this equation.

"Like, normally I'd have my doubts because he's on an aircraft carrier with thousands of dudes and of course that could make some men mushy and desperate-"

"There's women on carriers now," you pointed out.

"Yeah, like two," she rolled her eyes. "I doubt many guys on that ship are sending literal hand-written dissertations to their childhood sweethearts every few weeks. Much less ones they haven't even slept with yet."

You sighed. You felt lucky and elated, but you also wanted Bob to come back. There was a staggering itch of unfinished business between the two of you that these letters were doing little to scratch. If anything, they made it more urgent.

"If you don't fuck his brains out the instant-"

"Stop!" you laughed, smacking Emily with the nearest throw pillow.

"I'm serious!" she laughed in turn, blocking the pillow assault with her forearm. "All these letters and being on a carrier for months, he'll probably propose immediately after he cu- Ow! And I'll have to look for a new roommate!"

Emily rolled away, still giggling from your attack. You tempered your own laugher as you picked up his letter again.

"Well, you have a few months to plan for that," you lamented. "He's not going to be back anytime soon."

"More time to build the sexual tension," she sniggered. "Not that you need any more of that..."

You kicked Emily out to read the remainder of Bob's letter in peace. Despite what your sister had claimed, there were no exuberant professions of love in his words, but you had to admit the sentiment was there, nonetheless. He was not writing to just an old friend. These were love letters even if the only time the actual word appeared was just prior to his name at the end of his last page.

Your wine finished and Bob's letters re-read from front to back for the nth time, you sat down to begin penning your next correspondence. You felt emboldened by Emily's foresight (and the wine, most likely) and wanted to nail down the plans for Bob's return. You wanted to meet him pier-side on North Island. It was an intimate request, something usually reserved for family, but if what Emily suspected was true, it wouldn't be too outlandish. At least you hoped Bob would welcome the offer.

Like your first letter, you stuffed and sealed the envelope before you could second-guess yourself. Bob may very well be in love with you, but you couldn't be one-hundred percent certain, not until he had returned, and you could see where your relationship lead. The only acute certainty you had was that you were unflinchingly, positively stupidly, head over heels in love with Bob.

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#robert bob floyd #bob top gun #bob floyd #robert floyd #top gun maverick #top gun #top gun fanfic #lewis pullman

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fangsandfeels · 8 months

Text

Yo, I didn't expect the game to mention my boy Hoar in any capacity

Imagine my surprise when it did:

Naturally, that tiny cameo means it's legit for me to shamelessly spam headcanons on Jerra's possible connection to Hoar.

Of course, I had to choose the most cringe edgelord/most edgy cringelord among the Forgotten Realms pantheon that is Hoar, the Doombringer, and the Poet of Justice. I’m not even joking here: Hoar is an angry petty bitch who sits in his edgy domain with booming thunders and heads on pikes while being salty about not getting a god of war portfolio in Unther. Like, this is meme is not a meme in Hoar's case, this how he probably talks:

youtube

Needless to say, Hoar's followers are just as cringe, brooding in their temples, remembering their grievances and planning their revenge. On top of that, he is the former exarch of Bane and the buddy of Beshaba (the goddess of misfortune and bad luck who ruins people's lives for the most insignificant of reasons).

So, Jerra is certainly not his faithful follower or loyal paladin. If she was, let's just say Astarion would not have gotten away with pulling a knife on her that easily. Also, him trying to bite her at night? Hoar would be pissed off at Jerra telling Astarion off and then letting him sink his fangs into her anyway. As a good devout, Jerra would be expected to bite the vampire's neck in return because Hoar's direct dogma is all about following Equally Matched Aggression standards to an extreme.

But in a world where everyone is influenced by deities and follows some (because the alternative is the Wall of the Faithless and you do NOT want to be condemned to the Wall) Jerra praying and leaving offerings to the Poet of Justice still makes sense, both in the context of her actions and even her acceptance of Astarion.

+ His tenets are actually pretty based. Violence begets violence, but kindness is repaid with kindness. Treat people like you want to be treated, don't commit evil acts for the sake of evil because this path leads to ruin and self-destruction. Meaningful gestures and actions matter more than words.

+ There are several different churches of Hoar scattered across Faerun, each squabbling over who understands Hoar best. So, there is a lot of in-fighting going on, which gives plausibility to the idea of more watered-down followers just minding their own business and keeping away from more intense brothers and sisters in Hoar.

+ Hoar is not that worried about looking righteous or valorous. It’s the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law, that must be upheld. So, it’s not about you looking good when you deliver the vengeance the person deserves. It’s about sending a message. Accordingly, poetic justice is encouraged. Yes, killing the duergar who enslaved a Deep Gnome and made him serve them drinks is good. But lacing the drinks he serves with deadly poison, so the slavers die vomiting their own blood and guts after smugly grabbing mugs from their captive's hands and laughing in his face? Wonderful. Priceless. Deserved.

+ Probably most important: Hoar doesn't mind the undead. At least, he doesn't seem to abhor them like Tyr or other gods of goodness, and his clergy has a rather interesting approach to the undead and necromancy. The dead deserve to be heard and avenged just like the living. Doombringers (the elite battle priests of Hoar) can raise the corpses of victims who died with the wish for vengeance on their lips as revenants - nothing is better than beating a murderer or a serial killer to death with the crowd of raging revenants who lost their lives because of them. Also, if a Doombringer is killed unfairly, they, too, rise as a revenant as a final "fuck you" to their murderer. But Hoar's tolerance for the undead doesn't stop there. The lore even mentions a vampire follower of Hoar (on the bad guys' side, but still). So, even if Jerra merely follows the diluted image of Hoar shaped by her mentor, she is used to speaking with the dead and didn't bat an eye at He Who Was when she first met him. Accordingly, it was relatively easier for her to think outside the box with Astarion and judge him through the prism of his deeds instead of his nature. Her philosophy is less about "there are inherently evil creatures that are KOS and inherently good creatures that deserve multiple second chances" and more about "there are many evil things in the world, lots of them are less obvious than the others"

In general, I don't think that Jerra draws her paladin powers from Hoar. Even though she ends up with several huge grudges against the Absolute, Raphael (when she promised to rip out his mocking tongue, it wasn't an empty threat), and the Emperor (oh she does NOT like the Emperor), she is still way too forgiving and patient to be a full-blown Hoarite. She pays her respects, certainly: her mentor followed the Poet of Justice, which was why they even met - all the time while the Flaming Fist and City Watch, the seemingly dedicated followers of Tyr and Helm, looked the other way. But her Oath was to herself, first and foremost.

However, if Hoar was more chill, I would have headcanonned that Jerra draws powers from his domain, which confused him greatly when it happened for the first time, but then he decided to allow it in a "Listen, if this mortal is so dedicated to her idea of vengeance, she raged her way into my domain, this is going to be good" way.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc ramblings #i probably got lot of this shit wrong #still need a dnd adult #Youtube #hoar dnd #paladin dnd #oath of vengeance #bg3 oc: jerra

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mxb1jokes · 8 months

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Clean Jokes

funny jokes to tell - its friday quotes - funny wedding cakes - citizen - italian joke - i take a nap - island - dogs - sunday sermons - guys be like - the darkest - jewish men - cute funny animals - money cant buy happiness - teacher birthday - funny chinese jokes - sympathy quotes - sheep - positive quotes for life - two blondes - jokes pics - life quotes pictures - good looking women - pregnant women - face - east village - you are the father - go to sleep - ego quotes funny - homemade fudge recipes - mom jokes - grape bunch - birds in the sky - find a boyfriend - funny true quotes - poem to my daughter - wealthy men - catholic priest - donkey - inspirational good morning messages - morning jokes - irish men - bad attitude funny - discover - doctor - revenge funny - drive all night - dad jokes - funny english jokes - the monks - funeral jokes - ink blot - daily jokes - grumpy old men quotes - i do love you - fathers day sale - hair jokes - poor family - chevy jokes - laugh out loud jokes - good jokes for adults - home pregnancy test - great philosophers - mother teach - faith moves mountains - amazing funny facts - deepest sympathy - funny doctor quotes - happy wife happy life - united way - restoration - graze - trumpeter - cant sleep funny - lie detector - inspirational humor - old lady humor - story of the world - in this moment - life quotes deep - heart touching story - laundry quotes funny - money stories - haircut funny - temper quotes - lion - best dad jokes - bad day humor - cute cats - famous art - cute animals - catholic women - marine jokes - dirty laundry quote - funny city - senior citizen - holiday jokes - cold humor - english vocabulary words - ways to show love - pizza - tattoo parlors - hospital patient humor - trip - happy quotes inspirational - funny animal pictures - jokes quotes - wedding anniversary wishes - funny sketches - wake up - funny jok - call husband - funny dating quotes - silly jokes - wife jokes - cookies recipes chocolate chip - student humor - beautiful roses - winter jokes - very funny quotes - meaningful quotes - sleepless - wolf - english jokes - romantic quotes for her - national weather service - sleepless nights - long funny stories - man in love - family jokes - funny fart jokes - one dollar - school essay - pink - mirror jokes - i quit my job - sick humor - short humor - wine jokes - funny dog jokes - practical jokes - farm jokes - childhood sweetheart quotes - laugh track - firefighter humor - cuckoo - atheist quotes - funny physics quote - lion and the mouse - romantic text messages - christian short stories - funniest short jokes - doctor jokes humor - bear - how to wake up early - disciple - life thoughts - puppies for sale - passbook - canada jokes - tax day - inspirational friend quotes - songs - local butcher - navy jokes - good doctor - good morning happy - funny irish jokes - japanese funny - old age quotes - writing a book - engineering student humor - sister jokes - funny prayers - poor quotes - poor joke - funny cartoon photos - tuesday quotes good morning - stories with moral lessons - going down on him - sacred text - funny stories - men quotes funny - funny valentines jokes - new york weather - funny tombstone sayings - turkey jokes - husband and wife love - funny p - sermon - mathematician - lesson quotes - wisdom quotes life - funny driving quotes - ceramics pottery art - english story - train travel - sarcastic quotes funny - umbrella - good night funny - talk - friday night at home funny - blonde jokes - beautiful girlfriend - mother daughter wedding gifts - math humor funny - monk - grape jokes - high school students - flower show - blonde couple - christmas humor - beautiful birds - funny true stories - college students funny - inspirational life lessons - positive morning quotes - picture story - funny drunk pictures - quote pencils - grammar humor funny - happy good morning quotes - amazing inspirational quotes - cast iron pot - retirement humor - blue suit - candidate - short jokes

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adz · 2 years

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The cat is hissing at you. You can’t remember the last time you fed it. In the refrigerator, there are two slices of deli ham in a plastic bag. You remove them and put them on the cat’s dish.

Next to the refrigerator is something your partner bought you: one of those digital photo frames. The way it transitions is the image starts off very pixelated and quickly resolved into the actual photo.

You watch it while the cat eats the ham. A photo appears as a big splotch of red and pink in the middle and you think will this be a decaying torso or maybe an open skull but it quickly fades into a photo of three of your relatives sitting on a couch.

You live here alone now. You hold the small plate in your hand and look at the screen. There are 17 messages. In your head, you think I’ll go back to my room with a small glass of vodka and listen to Space Song 60 or 70 times, that should help.

You go into your bedroom and sit down and turn on your big plate. You stream a video of yourself with the vodka and music.

Hey guys, you type into the chat. What does everyone want to see? You run a poll.

The winning option is “combat” so you run a search and find something, far overhead high-res security footage, a livestream from war in some unrecognizable place. Soldiers move back and forth horizontally, stepping to one side and then the other side to avoid rifle bullets. A skill they learned from first person shooter games.

They are strafing, someone says in the chat. Others respond.

They are gay lords

war is hell. war never change. lol

me avoiding responsibility

I want to go there to have lots of sex without paying much money

Your small plate lights up again and it’s messages from your sister about her daughter, which you don’t care about but you kind of do in a way that makes you mad. Your niece takes photos on her small plate of her school notebooks and doodles and posts them to her instagram account and because they’re analog and messy in a clean & digital space, you suppose, thousands of people “like” and “share” them. She gets sponsorships from brands to have their products be in view in her photographs of her shitty notes which aren’t even well written or meaningful. Being nondigital is enough.

The cat is below you somehow. You thought you’d closed the door. Space Song is still playing and the cat is clawing at the subwoofer underneath your desk even though you’re pretty sure cats can’t hear low frequencies. The cat is so fucking stupid and looks like shit, really thin with matted fur that it never cleans.

You get up and it follows you to the kitchen, and the ham is gone so you open the fridge again and get out a prepackaged stick of vegan cheese. The cat tears it out of your hand before you can even unwrap it and starts ripping chunks off it so you just go back to your room making sure to actually close the door this time.

Chat is quiet and seems bored and you navigate to a new site where you can pay to execute someone who’s on death row and you can speak/listen to them beforehand and watch them succumb to the death drugs on a livestream. As a concept it’s awesome but you almost never get someone who speaks your language so you really have to be an empath for it to be good.

You ask the chat for donations to pay the fee and someone donates $120 but nobody else sends any money. Finally you’re just like I’m gonna turn in for the night. Probably watch some Liveleak videos or ASMR, have a little snooze. Anyone want me to leave a stream on? And nobody responds so you shut it off. The large plate is just a black screen now. Like cats the plates realized the owner was really dependent. Mute caretakers, but they didn’t care whether they lived or died or were on or off. When they spun up they became everything to him, they had noticed.

You’re in your room looking at the black screen. The vodka is gone, the music’s been shut off. The cat is scratching at the door but the only thing left in the refrigerator is a jar of capers.

A pet is something you feed until it dies. A partner is something you utilize until it leaves you

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lickmylegs2009 · 10 hours

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My PJ Harvey experience

Last September I saw PJ live on the first night of her tour, Dublin 2023. I was 14, now 15 and it was my first concert ever. I have autism and severe anxiety, and my sister took me. We sat at the back of the hall and I cried…a lot. Long story short I didn’t remember the concert at all. All I remembered was when I was crying. I got the idea the next month in October when reading how she doesn’t get fan mail really and I decided I’d try to write to her! Without really thinking I just wrote a big long letter about how much I loved her and how grateful I was. Not fully spilling and babbling but actually meaningfulness. I stuck it in an envelope with her name and village name, along with the county. I ran up to the post office at he next day and posted it, the lady at the shop looked at me and must’ve thought I was crazy. Now, I really did NOT expect that to even get to her, never mind her to read it! I wrote many personal things but having suffered with my weight and mental health, her music made me feel not alone. Etc etc.

After a month of jumping up everytime the post came, even if it was unlikely she’d reply, I got a package. I was ironically crying because I couldn’t remember the concert, and my mum went to get the post. She came back up and said “Fay? Have you ordered something?”. She handed me a package with my name on. I was puzzled and said no. I opened it up and pulled out Orlam, I looked at my mum thinking she’d ordered it for me and she was also confused. I was a bit stupid and didn’t look inside the book for a note from anyone who ordered it for me for about 5 minutes. I messaged my online friends who I was pen pals with and everyone else was confused. After about 5 minutes I opened the book and caught a glimpse of a note, didn’t think much of it until I also saw a glimpse of something written in the front of the book. I didn’t even have to read the note and I knew it was from POLLY HERSELF! I then looked at the note, which read “Dear Fay, thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind letter. I wish you a wonderful life ahead and good luck with everything - Polly x” and I was BEYOND HAPPY. She’d signed the book, “to Fay with good wishes always” and her autograph at the bottom! I will always, always, always be grateful for that. I know it’s such a small gesture but my god it is one of the best things that ever happened and it’s so special for me. I’m eternally greatful for Polly giving me the time of day dispite my age. And taking the time to reply and send me my own special copy of Orlam.

I now have the note framed on my wall above all her CDs and records, and the book has a special place on my shelf.

#pj harvey #alternative #poetry #polly jean harvey

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bryanos12 · 8 months

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Absorbing the work of Denny Ja to 51: Inspiration from Muslim Poetry on Christmas

At the age of 51 years, we celebrate the presence of Denny Ja as a figure who inspired many people in Indonesia. His extraordinary work has provided a deep encouragement and understanding for the community. In this celebration, let us absorb Denny JA’s presence and take inspiration from a poem written by a Muslim boy on Christmas. One cool and joyful Christmas night, a Muslim boy named Aisha sat in front of the window of his room. He looked at the dark sky with the sparkling of beautiful stars. Aisha suddenly was inspired to write a poem that represented the love and peace he felt in the heart. In his simple but meaningful poetry, Aisha expressed her excitement in welcoming Christmas. He wrote about the peace that emanated from the hearts of every human being, regardless of their religion or belief. This poem teaches us the importance of mutual respect and spreading love in the midst of differences. One morning, Aisha brought her poetry to school to be read in front of her friends. They were also fascinated by words that were arranged beautifully and full of wisdom. Aisha’s poem not only talked about Christmas, but also touched the hearts of everyone who heard it. Through her poetry, Aisha wants to convey the message that Christmas is not about certain religions or beliefs, but about the love and goodness that we can share with everyone. He believes that in togetherness and tolerance, we can build eternal peace. Aisha’s poetry spread quickly among her friends, her teacher, even outside the school environment. People are inspired by the wisdom and courage of a Muslim boy to see the beauty behind differences. They realize how important it is to accept and respect each other, and understand that love and peace do not have a religious or cultural boundary. When Denny JA read Aisha’s poem, he was impressed with the intelligence and depth of meaning contained in it. Denny JA sees in this poem great potential to unite people from various backgrounds and establish more harmonious relationships. Denny Ja also invited Aisha to read her poetry in her 51st birthday celebration. He wants to share a message of love and peace contained in Aisha’s poem to all the guests present. Aisha proudly accepted the invitation, because she wanted to show everyone that the power of understanding and love was unlimited by religion or belief. On the specified day, Aisha confidently read her poetry in front of hundreds of people present. His voice was soft but full of power to touch everyone’s heart in the room. The guests felt inspired and moved by a peaceful message delivered by a Muslim boy on Christmas. Denny Ja’s 51st birthday celebration became an unforgettable moment. Aisha’s poetry proves that inspiration and wisdom can come from anyone, regardless of age, religion, or belief. In its beauty, Aisha’s poem teaches us that we are all brothers and sisters, and that we can respect each other and love each other.

Check more: absorb the work of Denny JA 51: Inspiration from the poetry of Muslim children on Christmas

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azx3jokes · 9 months

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Joke Of The Day

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tismemaximusprime · 10 months

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It is night #1 of thinking/forgiving this situation:

Today was hard. I had a very great and meaningful conversation this morning with Kitt. We decided to put our throuple on hold bc there was a huge lack of communication and shit happened that wasn’t okay. I felt confident with my (our) decision early but then it was time to tell her. She cried a little on cam while I was discussing everything and she was very understanding even though I know she was hurting. The day went on normal then I get dropped off to my sister and off to CT for the week-ish. (I decided to come here bc legitimately everything is just going too fast and I’m having a really really hard time) Not even an hour after we arrive I get messages of how Kitt was feeling sorry for our past-partner (we’ll call her C). Apparently C was saying how she was extremely upset but not necessarily at us or her. She then says how she’s had a horrible day at work bc she’s been crying all day. I also wanna add I set clear boundaries earlier with both of them how I don’t want anything more than platonic happening especially behind my back. Very firm and felt good to say. But she was really hurting and Kitt felt horrible and when I found out about this my heart sank. Bad. I feel like a piece of shit. I shouldn’t have spoken up and said anything about my feelings. If I just forced myself to be numb/okay with the relationship we wouldn’t be in this situation. I wish I kept my mouth shut. Apparently C had to look over her safety plan bc she was not doing well….. Do you understand how HORRIBLE that is to hear that I caused that?! That I caused someone to feel unsafe and want to harm themselves?! I feel like an absolute piece of shit. I was trying to just force Kitt to be with C again. I know they both really like each other but I know for a fact if I see them interacting romantically in the slightest, I’d freak. I’ve had multiple issues in my past with intense paranoia and explosive jealousy. I have literally almost died bc of my feelings of that before. I cannot do that again but man do I feel horrible for voicing my feelings. I felt hurt and completely numb during it. I physically froze then sat on the bathroom floor for a half hour not responding to anything just bc I couldn’t comprehend anything. I felt disrespected and forgotten and jealous and icky. It was a horrible night all around. But now I’m regretting bringing up those feelings even though that was part of our first boundaries for the relationship. I’m not regretting bc I like her like that and want her back, I literally just hate myself for putting my feelings/emotions for once over others and getting lashed at again. I fucked up big time. I don’t know how to fix it or anything. I want to run and hide or die. It’s fucking rough and I feel like an absolute piece of shit. Idk how to feel anything else bc I think of me voicing it I was selfish. Everyone keeps saying how that’s totally wrong and it was a lack of communication and a bad situation all around but I still feel like I’m to blame. Idk what to do…

So Kitt gave me the instructions of giving myself a few days (until Monday) to be without true feelings and emotions. To just kinda get by being here but not looking into too much of my feelings. Kinda distract myself. And to write it down, everything I’m feeling. So here I am.

I hurt them today and it’s gonna be a long time until I can forgive myself. Idk if I truly even can. It weighs on me hearing I caused someone so much pain like that. It’s really hard and so yeah. It’s 12:35am on Friday night/Saturday morning. I’m sitting on my sisters couching wanting to self harm but I can’t, there’s children present in the house. But how do I forgive myself for this? Why couldn’t I just be okay with it or force myself to be okay? I just feel like I completely fucked up big time.

#mine #personal

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themovieblogonline · 10 months

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Fear the Night Review: A Thriller with Missed Potential

Neil LaBute's Fear the Night delivers a tense and suspenseful narrative centered around a nightmarish bachelorette party. With a promising setup and an intriguing protagonist, the film initially keeps viewers on the edge of their seats. However, as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that the movie suffers from a lack of direction, uneven pacing, and unresolved plotlines. While it manages to maintain suspense and occasional thrills, Fear the Night ultimately falls short of its potential, leaving audiences with a sense of dissatisfaction and frustration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QZNSrMTBSM The Good: At the heart of the film is Tess, portrayed with intensity by Maggie Q. As an Iraq War veteran and recovering alcoholic, her complex character offers a fascinating exploration of trauma and resilience. Tess's uneasy relationship with her sister Beth adds an additional layer of tension, and the dynamics among the women at the bachelorette party are promising for a captivating psychological thriller. The initial setup is intriguing as Tess's unease and suspicions about the caretakers foreshadow the impending danger. However, the film stumbles as it tries to balance character development and plot progression. The bachelorette party scenes, while aiming to build suspense and foreshadow the danger that lies ahead, feel excessively long and drawn out. The pacing becomes uneven, making it difficult for the audience to fully invest in the characters' fates. The Bad: The attack itself, while tense and action-packed, falls into the trap of becoming overly gory and gratuitously violent. The excessive focus on violence diminishes the psychological aspects that could have been explored in the film, particularly regarding Tess's military background and PTSD. As the story unfolds, some plot elements are introduced but left unresolved, leading to frustration. The caretakers' involvement with the drug money and Perry's gang is an interesting twist, but it feels underdeveloped and hastily explained. These plot threads could have been explored further, adding depth to the narrative and creating a more meaningful connection between the characters and their assailants. One of the most significant flaws in Fear the Night is the lack of a cohesive message or theme. While the film briefly touches on themes of survival and sisterly bonds, it fails to delve deeper into these ideas, leaving the viewer with a sense of emptiness at the conclusion. The ambiguity surrounding Tess's altered statement to the authorities is never fully justified or resolved, leading to an unsatisfying ending that feels rushed and unsatisfying. Despite these shortcomings, the film does have some redeeming qualities. The tension-filled cat-and-mouse game between Tess and the attackers keeps viewers engaged, and the survival instincts displayed by the women add an element of empowerment to the story. The film's visual style and use of lighting create an eerie atmosphere, effectively enhancing the overall sense of dread. Overall: Fear the Night starts with a promising premise and a compelling protagonist but fails to capitalize on its potential. The film struggles with pacing issues, unresolved plotlines, and a lack of thematic depth. While it manages to maintain some suspense and deliver occasional thrills, it ultimately falls short of leaving a lasting impact on its audience. Neil LaBute's direction attempts to deliver a gripping thriller, but in the end, Fear the Night fails to rise above mediocrity. Read the full article

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riverdamien · 1 year

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A Wider Rainbow!

"A Wider Rainbow!"

National Mental Health Month!

Damien of Molokai

"I make myself a lepers to gain all for Christ!"

======

"But Jesus on his part would not entrust himself to them because he knew all people. .John 2:24

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John 15:1-15:

"I am the true vine and my Father is the vine grower. . .This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."

======================

a blessing for those who care about strangers

What a waste.

That wasn’t going to get you a nicer apartment.

Bless those who give their health in service of patients who might not even deserve it.

What if that patient took unnecessary risks or was selfish or was never going to say thank you? You could have been protecting yourself or God forbid, sleeping through the night.

Bless those who listen to long, winding stories from lonely hearts.

Instead of rushing off to more interesting friends.

You picked boredom or patience instead of the warmth of being known.

That was your time and you’re never going to get it back.

Bless those who loved people who weren’t grateful.

The sick who endangered your health,

The deeply boring, who know you have things to do.

Loving people can be the most meaningful thing in the world, but it can also be hard and scary and boring and disgusting or sad or anxiety inducing with zero overtime.

Thank you to all those who make these bad investments.

Those acts of love that are not going to add up to success in the way that the world sees it.

You, my darling, are the definition of love.

This blessing was inspired by my conversation with nurse and writer Christie Watson

################################

Newly published CDC data found that 1 in 4 teenagers identified themselves they were attracted only to the opposite sex; this does not include transgender, non-identifying numbers of youth.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10-24 and the Trevor Project found that LGTBTQ youth are four times as likely to attempt suicide, 1.8 million and at least one every 45 seconds, and 45% LGBTQ considered attempting suicide this past year.

Messages such as the one I received today from my sister is similar to the message many youth receive from others. I have not talked with her in forty years, and she has refused to talk with me:

"River Sims

You are my brother. But the sin you live in and condone goes against what Paul wrote in Romans 1:26,27 which was inspired by God. God does not accept homosexuality. You were not born this way. You made a bad choice"

One's sexual orientation is not "chosen" it is one we come with at birth. And after ten years of tough therapy with a well known shrink I came to truly understand the words of Jesus:This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." and true mental health as:

What is good mental health? In his book, Ash Wednesday, J. R. Mabry has the Sheriff say: "If I have learned anything from my mother, Jake, it's there are no good people. There are only people in various stages of being fu. .cked up. Some less, some more."

Good mental health is the ability both to value life and to engage in a life of affirming other people and creatures and value their lives as we do our own, seeing them as independent from us. Good mental health means the ability to behave differently depending upon the circumstances and not expect every thing go our way. Good mental health is our ability to see everyone, regardless of social status, sexual identification, and color, simply as a fellow human being.

Messages like the one I received can truly hurt people, and push some towards suicide. I have had kids become suicidal and they truly do not forget them. What I have learned to do is the message of Jesus:

"But Jesus on his part would not entrust himself to them because he knew all people. .John 2:24

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Words hurt more than a knife. My friend and Spiritual Director Jay Swanson sent me this poem to close with:

a blessing for those who care about strangers

What a waste.

That wasn’t going to get you a nicer apartment.

Bless those who give their health in service of patients who might not even deserve it.

What if that patient took unnecessary risks or was selfish or was never going to say thank you? You could have been protecting yourself or God forbid, sleeping through the night.

Bless those who listen to long, winding stories from lonely hearts.

Instead of rushing off to more interesting friends.

You picked boredom or patience instead of the warmth of being known.

That was your time and you’re never going to get it back.

Bless those who loved people who weren’t grateful.

The sick who endangered your health,

The deeply boring, who know you have things to do.

Loving people can be the most meaningful thing in the world, but it can also be hard and scary and boring and disgusting or sad or anxiety inducing with zero overtime.

Thank you to all those who make these bad investments.

Those acts of love that are not going to add up to success in the way that the world sees it.

You, my darling, are the definition of love.

This blessing was inspired by my conversation with nurse and writer Christie Watson

#######

Fr. River Damien Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

[email protected]

415-305-2124

River's Creed:

"I write because this is the way I protest".

Ministry on the streets is the way I resist, dong what I can to proclaim the Gospel of Love to every human being with out judgment."

"Now I hand down to you what has been revealed to me: that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures."

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altheterrible · 1 year

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“Your days, you say they're way too long. And your nights, you can't sleep at all.” - “Hold On,” Good Charlotte

My insomnia has gotten to the point that just looking at my bed makes me anxious because I know it’s going to be a fucking fight. My therapist suggested trying sleeping other places, like the couch or the guest room, and that works sometimes but most nights I’m just staring at the ceiling for hours resenting being awake. And alive. If I fall asleep, it’s usually 1-2 hours before my alarm goes off. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

The prn sleep/anxiety med the doctor gave me does fuck all, and idk if it’s because it’s ineffective or because I know it’s just an antihistamine and doesn’t actually work on the sympathetic nervous system in a meaningful way. My sister takes the same shit and says it works for her. I’ve tried almost every sleep medication on the market and none of them really help. Even benzos don’t do much. My therapist says it’s because of the hypervigilance from PTSD. I think she’s probably right.

I’ve been on Lexapro for about 5 weeks, and I can’t say that I’ve noticed any improvements. When I requested a dose increase a few weeks ago, the nurse sent me a snotty message that was like “Remember, these medications can take up to 6 weeks to reach full effect!” Bitch, I know more about these meds than you do. And it hasn’t reached “full effect,” it’s reached “no effect.” So fuck off.

I refuse to go back on antipsychotics. I refuse to take mood stabilizers. I’m running out of options. I thought about trying the new medication that just came out, the one that’s just Wellbutrin and cough medicine, but honestly Wellbutrin has not been great for me in the past. Idk. I got 4 hours of sleep and I’m at my wit’s end.

#whining #medication #psych meds

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akaraboonline · 1 year

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What Exactly Does It Mean To Be In Love With Someone?

What does it mean to be madly in love with someone? It is more than just liking them or enjoying spending time with them. In reality, it goes much deeper. Here's what this feeling really means, as well as some indicators that it's what you're feeling with the person you're dating. You can't pretend you're not crazy about them, even if you're in denial. What Exactly Does It Mean To Be In Love With Someone?

What Does It Mean To Be Smitten With Someone?

Smitten is defined by Merriam-Webster as "deeply affected or struck by strong feelings of attraction, affection, or infatuation." In other words, it's that dreamy, moony feeling you get when you're in love with someone. You're so into them that you can't stop thinking about them. You have the sensation of floating around them. You may not know everything (or much of anything) about them just yet, but that is beside the point. You're on a cloud nine.

Signs You're Madly in Love With Your Date

You send good morning texts (and good night texts too). While these may be a chore with anyone else (i.e. your ex), they come naturally when you're with someone you're smitten with. You don't even give it a second thought. They are the first person you think of before going to bed and the last person you think of before falling asleep. You give each other “just because” gifts. I'm not referring to "returning from a trip and getting you a 'I heart Turkey' mug from the airport." "Walked by a super fancy vegan store and brought back a cool type of cashew butter because you mentioned it last week," I'm talking about. Anyone who asks will confirm this. If the gift is meaningful, the $3 gifts are often the ones that hit home the hardest. You start to learn their love language. While you may be accustomed to seeking love and attention in the ways that you do so, learning about someone else is always eye-opening. You might have been annoyed while waiting for them to share something about you on social media. After all, you post pictures of them. They've been bragging about you to their friends, texting your sisters to find the best birthday present, and telling their parents about you the whole time. They accomplish the same goal but do so in different ways. When you discover this about each other, you will suddenly realize how much they adore you, even if they are different from you. You have a special relationship with food. To begin with, almost everyone on the planet must find a way to maintain a healthy relationship with food. It's so fundamental to my approach to self-care and making time for yourself that introducing someone to your favorite snacks and meals is always a special occasion. They share their food, cook together, steal each other's fries, and so on. Food is so important to us that sharing it with someone we're dating is a sure sign we're in love. “This made me think of you.” Still, my heart is beating. This can be anything from a meme to a dog picture to a text message from your parents that you joked about the day before. It's similar to "just because" gifts, but this is a daily ritual, a part of your life. It demonstrates that whenever something interesting happens to you, you want to tell them first. They're obviously on your mind. You give one another homemade gifts. This is even more thoughtful than "just because" gifts. That's because it has all of the dedication and thought that a big-ticket item has but none of the financial pressure. You're sacrificing your time rather than your money. However, you are still exposing yourself or expressing your own creativity. A fresh loaf of bread in the morning, a new ceramic coaster you painted to protect their coffee table, or even a typed-up letter on their grandmother's old typewriter could suffice. These things are hung directly on the wall. They are cherished. You love talking about the future. In general, you prefer to live in the present moment and take things day by day. When you're in love with someone, you can't help but think ahead. You want them in your life in a month, a year, or even a decade. Nothing makes you happier than daydreaming about your future together. It's actually quite tasty. You talk about them to your friends. If you're the type of person who keeps your cards close to your chest, but you suddenly have verbal diarrhea about the person you're dating and can't stop gushing over them, it could mean (okay, it definitely means) you're smitten. Don't worry, your friends understand you're in the honeymoon period and will eventually calm down. You’re not scared of having “The Talk.” This means your connection is secure. You don't have to be concerned that they'll abandon ship. You can tell they're in it for the long haul because you are. It doesn't get any better than that. Feel free to express yourself. That is correct. You feel comfortable enough to fart around him. Forget about moving in and a gleaming gold ring. This is the pinnacle of intimacy. It means you're at ease and feel light in their presence. You have a healthy sense of self-worth. In the early stages of a relationship, I can be constantly concerned that I'm unclean, sweaty, or unattractive. Or, if I happen to be caught in the wrong light at the wrong angle, my entire appeal to this person may vanish. A fart cannot be concealed in this manner. And, despite the fact that it is a brief sound, it suggests a more permanent, healthy relationship with yourself as well as with your partner. You understand that one fart will not put an end to everything. Whew! Read the full article

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