#Me and my grandma when I was like 8

[snixx]

the 39 clues girlies are having a field day in the notes of a post I made months ago and all I can do is gaze upon them fondly as I remember the most passionate late lover of my life

#they want to revive the fandom 🥹 #oh the stories i could tell #jesus my t39c hyperfixation was definitely a Time. i don't think I've had a more intense hyperfixation ever #i can STILL name all the clues off the top of my head. five years later #i feel like a grandma #i don't get as sad over it or as excited every time i see a sign of someone wanting to revive the fandom as i used to but #your first love never dies and all #throwback to that time i tried to organise an internet clue hunt!!! we should totally do that on tumblr it could be so fun #i had so many ideas damn #the 39 clues #girlblogging.pdf #holy shit wait it's more like 7 years now. not five #broooooo #almost 8 tbh #i miss the site i miss the ffn forums i miss the books being in stores... #i miss the gc that made me get a tumblr in the firstplace #oof #i do not play about this series when i say i am INSUFFERABLE about it #i literally used to think about it 24/7 for years not exaggerating #i had to relate everything to it i still do #i was fully convinced i was an undercover lucian agent #who am I kidding i still do #i don't have one notebook without all the clues listed in them from some time i was bored in class

[dan-crimes]

LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all

#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics #and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows #y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV #but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it #like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think #and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there #he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen #I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great #so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence #until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic #occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff #but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog #and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot #but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING #if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise #oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old #possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like #spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao #but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything #but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but #I wouldn't trust my own knowledge

[detentiontrack]

Turns out my parents invited my grandmother to thanksgiving…….

#my grandma is incredibly judgmental and fatphobic #she constantly makes comments about other peoples food and bodies #when she’s stayed with my family in the past she tried to get me to stop eating so much and judged all my food choices #I think I’m at a place in my recovery where I won’t feel super triggered #I think I’m going to handle this by getting extremely drunk and eating as much as I possibly can in front of her #just continuous rum and cokes and beer and like 8 slices of pie

[theodore-lasso]

So like certified bad day. My grandma died this morning and now I'm sick???? Bro come on

#bonus points for. the only photos of me w my Grandma are from me under 8 years old #so like. i wasnt close to her at all but death is v triggering for me w how badly my parents fumbled the bag w grief when i was growing up #brief context. mum got mad at me that my v close friend died like a week after her dad died bc she couldn't do two things at once #so everyone rallied around her in her grief and i went to two funerals and like ??? rotted i guess. #dad was in his painkiller era lol #anyway so im probably not gonna go to the funeral bc im just gonna be triggered the whole time #im less grieving her as a person and more grieving the fact that i never really. had grandparents. #like i barely ever saw her #even though i lived in the same city as her #i googled her name earlier and found out she wrote a chapter in a book about domestic abuse #and thats really the most ill ever know about her #i wanna read the chapter but idk #if it turns out that my grandpa was abusive and then my grandma left my mum and aunt with him by themselves to move to bali #im probably not gonna be thrilled #anyway even thats basically just closer to learning stories about people i dont know #wouldnt it have been nice to have. a family

[lildoodlecat]

The new blanket I got is purple with glow in the dark stars and constellations but unfortunately I sleep with a lamp on to keep the suffocating weight of the darkness away

#okay the blanket is actually part of a full bedset which #i have never owned a matching bedset in my life #and have been using the same blanket since i was like 8 #but when we were at my grandma's for christmas i mentioned offhand that i needed new sheets #bc we didnt have any for a full bed (mine) and i was just using an old stained queen one #and she just goes 'oh i have an extra bedset for a full bed do you want it?' #and i was like ??? yeah????? if you dont need it???????? #and she brings out a brand new kids purple star set and im just standing there like what. what. i love purple. that's the cutest bedset wha #AND SUDDENLY I HAVE A FULL BEDSET WITH FITTED SHEETS THE CORRECT SIZE?????? #took me over a month to finally have the spoons and the commitment to change to make the switch sjxkdk #i was ecstatic abt the sheets but i was wary abt the blanket and the pillow cases #bc previously i was using some super soft pillow cases i stole from a different bedset (there's a story to that but anyway) #and of course the same blanket I've been using for over a decade #which was pretty worn I'll admit but it smelled like me idk i found it comforting #it was twin sized so it didn't really fit my bed but i basically just become a burrito or perhaps a poorly folded taco to sleep so meh #and yeah i could've just taken the sheets and stuck to my old blanket but the set was so cute.. i wanted my bed to be cute now #turns out. just like the packaging says. it's really soft #the pillow cases probably aren't as soft as the other ones but ig i barely notice #only downside is that the stiffer side of the blanket (the glow in the dark side) rustles easily #which for a 'tuck the blanket up to my ear and under my chin' kinda person is kind of annoying #but im committed. or whatever. so ✨ #jay yells #if you've read this far congrats now you know abt my relationship with bedding

[wethecelestial]

they should invent a grief thats uncomplicated and purely cathartic to experience. has anyone thought of this before

#cw death #not to be ungrateful that when i get tired of 'feeling guilty abt putting off ur trip to go see family until the summer bc u didn't want to #have to deal w international travel over winter break and now ur grandma who u haven't seen in 8 years is dead' i can distract myself with #'being furious that your family wasn't going to tell u she died until u came home for the summer' or 'giving urself a headache abt whether #you're even allowed to be upset that she died when u grew up hearing stories abt how horrible she was to ur mom' or #'being irrationally and unfairly jealous that your dad has multiple siblings who could all take turns checking in on her and sitting with #her in the hospital bc u definitely will not get that when ur parents die' or 'getting paranoid abt how ur OTHER set of grandparents #might die and/or go fully blind before u get to see them (also for the first time in 8 years) this summer' #like. not to be ungrateful to have so much enrichment to choose from in my enclosure #but have we considered just like.....being sad. and that's it. #lmao literally as i was writing this my mom texted me 'it's already happened just move on' so BACK TO SQUARE ONE! #anyways like it's fine lol. we (obviously) were not close. and also she was a full 98 years old lmao like it was her time. #but also truly. what goes on lol

[toxooz]

wip cause imma b spending Chrimmus in las vegas so ill finish it when i get back but 🥵🥵🥵

#i think my new fav thing to tediously draw is arm hair RRRUFRUFFF idk why #im visiting my super cool grandma over there im not gambling lmfao bUT GOD IM SO READY AAAAAAA #ive been rotting in this home town for like 8 years so im FINALLY Going On A Vacation #and also bc the planets have aligned and i have money/ am off work/ #that POS im unfortunately directly related to wont be there so i NEED to have this decent christmas #rather than ending up a suicidal ball of tears in my bed feeling sorry 4 myself like the past like 4 christmas AHA sweats #headass made me resent and fear christmas after this long but hopefully not much anymore #also im hella excite to just sit and stare at clouds for like 9+ hours i fuckinnn mISSED doing that so muchhhh #plus just bringing a sketchbook and my crusty old mp3 GOD sounds like heaven rn #last time i rode on a plane i didnt even have a phone i feel like im gunna be like a prehistoric rat that transported into yr 3000 #anyway i wont b long then ill answer the asks when i get back cause i need to draw for those #i may answer short asks here n there but dont expect much #notebook sketches yada yada #im already sensing im going to draw some arthurs in there like a dog senses a storm

[origamiyoda]

I think my fave thing about my dad's old TF toys is that the guys who have plane alt modes look like they have little heels or cowboy boots..... silly...

#my dad dug out his old stuff today when we were at my grandmas.. I have. Some guys now #ALSO THAT THEY TAKE LIKE. 10 MINUTES TO TRANSFORM. #like I know it's cos they're Old and Plastic and Metal but. Help me #It took my sister literally 8 minutes to get Megatron unfolded #Leo yells

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I am like 'boy I am So Normal' and other times I am like 'wow my grandmother sure did give me a lot of undergrad level art criticism to chew on when I was like 13'

#red said #both the good thing and the bad thing about my grandma was that she didn't talk down to kids #and she had taught undergrad art school #and I'm not sure i was always 100% on board on account of being A Child #but she had me reading Klee's pedagogy of drawing when i was like 8 #and oh god what was it. herbert read's 1930s analysis of modern art? when i was like 14 #i know this bc my year 9 portfolio is full of anime art and a big typographic quote about interpreting art from read #now when i go to art galleries with my friends i vacillate wildly between 'haha look at how weird this guy's hair is' #and 'the impasto creates a kind of paradoxical verisimilitude!' #bless them but i was walking around a gallery with my partner enthusiastically going on about trompe d'oeil and marxist analysis of realism #and i said '... does that make sense' and they said 'nothing you've said for the last 20 minutes made sense but it sounds cool' #and people think I'm like this because i went to art school #NO THE ROT SET IN WELL BEFORE THAT and also like i did a year less study than my classmates at undergrad #and i still found most of them hadn't heard of most of the terminologies i was throwing around #it wasn't until my masters i started meeting other people who were hype about critical theory #and then i felt stupid bc tbh i haven't like. STUDIED it formally. i just pick bits up. #so when i was talking to someone with a really thorough grounding in semiotics i was just Saying Words #understood what she was saying but couldn't back up my own points enough to feel like we were on an even keel

[froggyrights]

Hi girlbloggers update on the hobby searching I did in fact try grandma hobbies and I was right they DO have it all figured out. I'm knitting and this is awesome. I'm creating something so terrifyingly ugly I can't help but be excited for it

#im making so many mistakes thoigh like i set up 25 stitches but now there's 30???? girl how did i do that #my grandma actually did teach me how to knit when i was about 8 but i forgot how to do it #feels nice to try jt again:) #anyway ill knit my slowly growing lump of fabric until its large enough to fill the void of my tumblr addiction #this has been a charlie report thank u for your attention. next time im ill be trying birdwatching #yrsa rambles

[deus-ex-mona]

there’s a non-non-zero chance of success though… _(:3 」∠)_

#long depressing rant in the tags incoming ig? take warning!! #maybe it’s bc it’s 3am and i’m tired or maybe it’s bc of the 8-9 hour old fried vermicelli that i just gave up on eating but my head hurts~~ #or maybe it could even be bc i spent like 3 hours unpacking my boxes (note: my fam moved last month) instead of chilling like i wanted to… #either way i saw some things while unpacking that i really should’ve left in the distant past and i’m feeling as empty as my stomach pre-米粉 #though i did uncover a dogtag i had engraved years ago with nothing but a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on it so that was pretty funny #but other than that… i remembered all the weird things i had given up on in the past via the things i unearthed… #like cooking! i unpacked this huge 1k+ page thick cookbook thing and remembered that i had a phase where i liked to cook #then i remembered that i had mistaken salt for sugar while making some meat dish with a ton of soy sauce and byebye cooking confidence :( #and to add to that i also read a past essay of mine about my culture and i remembered my grandma and i. yeah. #and i also saw stuff from my old hobbies that i had to give up on due to money/time constraints and i just. yeah. #and not to forget all the stuff from my former friends… i swear i always get ghosted the moment we affirm that we’re friends lol #am i a walking maxed social link or something? lol? yeah i have no irl friends. none. #i’ve gotten used to it though~ i don’t mind having no friends. it leaves me with more time for myself and my sleep~ #it’s just that… sometimes i get the urge to hop over the country border for some ~chewing gum~ shopping… but there’s no one to go with lol #or like when i see interesting-looking events going on at local attractions but there’s no one to check it out with… or something. #and that got me wondering… am i just wasting my life or something? it’s a new year right? so i should make some lifestyle changes too right? #…​and so i bought a hairdryer for the first time a few days back. yeah. that’s enough change for 1 year. lol #who needs friends when you can have a nice warm hairdryer? blast away good pal!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyways yeah. that’s my 3am rant of the day. sorry if you read this lol #sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂 #h e lp i forgot to disable rbs on this for a bit i hate 3am brain smmmm </3

[ringneckedpheasant]

i’ll say it, i’m a tiny dog lover. min pins. chihuahuas. rat terriers. they are all my friends and brothers

#marc.txt #i am however a ‘tiny dogs with long hair and smushed faces’ hater #just remembered the time my grandma had me take her shih tzu on a walk and i was like. idk maybe 8. i was not a large child. #anyway. dog had one of those very long retractable leads and i didn’t know how to lock it #it ran under the fence at my parents’ house and pulled me along with it until I had to let go of the leash in order to get over the fence #this stupid little dog decided to run at one of the horses and freaked it out #and it managed to get the leash tangled around the horse’s leg #and it just got dragged around the pasture for A While before i was able to get to it #it had what was functionally like. carpet burn. but it was otherwise fine #the thing that is standing out to me most in this though is that like. #i remember being laughed at when i brought the dog up to the house? and being told they could see me running around trying to catch the dog #which was i guess better than getting in trouble #but i had very much been expecting to get in trouble and i had been very scared for the dog #and im pretty sure i’d been screaming for help???? #anyway in retrospect i feel like i was getting laughed at for being emotional #because Nobody Cared About The Dog Being Hurt besides me #i don’t know if this makes sense im very high and it took 12 minutes to type out

[emeraldcreeper]

I kind of love how my therapist was like ya that living situation was Really Really Really bad for your mental and physical health, you may be mildly scarred from that it seems because holy shit from what you’ve said it was godawful for you in a polite way and said effectively that living situation was not great for you it seems, you can enjoy being out of it before you worry about the everything else

#I forget that I write as an outlet much like physically running from my problems via long walk with a snack and water at a scenic location #and lately I’ve been writing a very therapeutic au/romcom setup #I was living with my grandma and mom forrrrrrr #8-9 months #and getting that I wasn’t doing enough to contribute to the general life thing #as in I wasn’t treating my chronic health condition well enough to work ergo I wasn’t trying hard enough #which mmmm has caused Some Trauma to the me #where I continually am stuck in the thought loop of I’m not doing my best right now #when I used to could rationalize it out #like oh yeah it’s natural I’d fuck up in this class it’s awful and hard #obviously it’s not my fault I’m dealing with chronic migraines and finding ultra easy and low effort work is hard to do #when screens and daylight hurt #and of course it’s causing a negative feedback loop #because i legitimately thought it was like a high school thing but no #I had to think back and went wait I’ve fucked things up like mildly but I never thought I wasn’t good enough at them #then I went oh it’s the new normal I’m #under right now that’s causing the…. Issues #also she had the thought I had vis a vis editor #but my rough drafts are So Awful that I’m like no I can’t make someone do this shit ona regular basis #plus 90% of my wips are Specific Kink content #vent

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

Do you think Lestat would make a good sleep paralysis demon?

oh absolutely. when he has murder in his eyes he is truly something to fear. sam so fine but he really gets it down so well. besides once he’s obsessed with you he gon be in your life anyway he can.

#iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #sidenote: i used to get sleep paralysis all the time. like all the time. and one time my mom told me that my grandma said it was a witch #sitting on my chest #TO THIS DAY even after knowing what sleep paralysis is. if i’m sleeping on my back i have to have one hand on my chest bc when i was younge #i thought that would block the witch from sitting on my chest and somehow it helped #so now i do it all the time and if im on my back and i don’t 8/10 i have vivid nightmares even if i don’t get sleep paralysis #other sidenote. i’ve dreamed about lestat three times in the last month. he still a demon but he a demon wit that di-

[zenyuumi]

I hate it here

#vent tag #i just want to have PRIVACY #i just took a bath and got all excited bc ''yay no ones in the bedroom rn and that means i can dress in peace ^_^'' #boy was i fucking wrong . the second i stepped into my room my grandma followed after me because she wanted to use the charger??? #the charger that we had in OUR room???? #this bitch does not give 2 shits about our privacy. she will come in like its nothing WHILE IM CHANGING #i tell her im uncomfortable and she just tells me im being too sensitive like?? is it sensitive to NOT WANT PEOPLE TO SEE YOU WITHOUT #CLOTHES ON??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #I DO NOT CARE IF WE ARE FAMILY YOU ARE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY OWN HOME #PLEASE JUST LEAVE W THE CHARGER IF ITS WHAT YOU WANT #i was so happy abt being alone too bc it barely ever happens that i get to dress up in peace #even if i lock the door... they'll just either force it open with a key or bang on the door till i respond #i dont want to live w these people anymore man. #im getting my own room soon but i can alr imagine them doing the same thing anyway #please just leave me alone im not 8 anymore PLEASE #AND STOP USING THE ARGUMENT THAT YOU USED TO BATHE ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG!!! Im not a toddler anymore #and i get uncomfortable now #+ the fact that my grandma often comments on how chubby i am #i cant trust her anymore #im sorry if it seems like im whining like a child abt this im just in a bad mood rn :( it'll be fixed in a bit

[milf-harrington]

I like fully forgot I only got 4 hours of sleep last night until a few minutes ago when my brain started making up utter nonsense

#i woke up at like 8-ish in the morning #then we went on a 3-4hr road trip down to the town i lived in when i was a baby/toddler #went to a cool steam punk museum and the brewery for lunch and tHEN WE SAW SEALS!!!!!! #and my cousin showed me my grandmas old house and then my dads old house and it was so crazy to have this whole history i dont remember #and then we drove BACK and by the time we got back it was 7-8ish and then we hung out and watched silly documentaries #and then video called my sister in the shed #and now it is nearly 12:30am #my brain is starting to- uh- oh fuck me i cant even remember what im trying to say #MALFUNCTION #my brain is stsrting to malfunction so im gonna read and go to bed #but i had. an insanely good day today #i just love being here so much its like i can breathe #its like- you know that feeling of wanting to go home even when youre in your house? #well i finally feel like ive found home #i dont think i'll make it to our marae this visit but i think that experience would take me out at the knees #aotearoa trip 2022 #captain speaks