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artyrogue · 3 years

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Blind Date Gaming: The Addams Family

You all know PRANG, my Pseudorandom Number Generation matchmaker? Well, it recently gave me this weird questionnaire to try and set up a date more suited for my odd personality. I happily filled it out, hoping for a real connection to be made with my next game date. We fed it through the sketchy scantron machine attachment that somehow got grafted to PRANG's chassis and, after an ear-splitting buzzing that may have made me slightly deaf, the results were printed out. They dictated that I needed a real family game. I guess that triggered something special in PRANG, as it quickly flipped around and grabbed what I can assume totally wasn't the first title in its game list with the word 'Family' in it: The Addams Family!

Man, computers are too complicated for simpletons like me. Well, let's get datin' and see if this is a match! I started the game as what I can only imagine is a chubby, tiny clone of Gomez Addams. I mean, why else would all of the house decor be the size of 2.5 Gomezes? (Is that a unit of measurement? Well it is now)

He's small, but can jump like 3 Gomezes in the air! He's like the Jack Russel's of 90's characters

So you run around your house looking for sub-areas, throwing daggers that go about 2 Gomezes in front of you before disappearing. Enemies lurk at every step, and boy are they horrifying! Mostly in how crappily they are programmed and placed. Bats flap to your level and never deviate, pretty much ensuring you get hit. Ghosts constantly spawn and may be right on staircase tops, meaning you get hit as soon as a map loads. You can jump on some enemies to stun them but like you have no indicator what can and can't be given the ol' hop-treatment.

I'm not sure if this guy wants a hug or is holding a really heavy invisible box

None of this would be an issue if you didn't have limited ammo. From the get-go, your knives are all you have. In a boss fight and run out? Well, go commit suicide, because you can't do anything. Fun! The bosses are alright, though. Most are too easy, but they are definitely interesting. Like in one case, there's this bear that cannot attack you if you jump behind it. In another, the Grim Reaper's best weapon is spitballs? I feel like there's some lost lore here in the Addam's Family universe that needs fanfic-ing.

Still waiting for this model to be offered at Build-a-Bear Workshop

When you beat a boss, you rescue a family member and get a cool new item. Usually, they're weapons of some sort, but some instead help you to traverse the world. While this could have been a nice progression system, there's really only one place where this is required, and instead progress is tied to how many family members you have rescued. Only THEN do random doors in your own house become accessible. I think Gomez needs to install those doors with open-able locks that constantly prevent my toddler from dying alone from starvation in most rooms of my house because she doesn't know how to unlock locks she's already locked us out of.

Your gratitude is well-received, Lurch my man. But can we talk about what the heck some frozen water is going to do besides get my pockets wet in like 5 minutes?

There are also small potion powerup things that transform you into typical movie monsters, but none are really super-interesting. Regardless, I get through a bunch of ho-hum platforming levels, collect my fam, electrocute my brother some more (as is tradition), and make it to the final level! This level is akin to the final level in Super Mario Land 2 in that it is long, filled with neat traps, and pretty rough. I do like the decor, though, what with buzzsaws, unmarked falling spike chandelier things, and amazingly large guillotines.

I may be an Addams myself because these little death traps actually made me smile a bit. Very cute, level designers! I like your chops!

So after I boogie down his gauntlet of Super Meat Boy paraphernalia, I at last make it to the final boss's room. And he's...some...guy? This is probably a dude from the movie, but I haven't seen it in years, so I have no clue. But like legit all he does is stand, jump, and throw knives. Well, two can play that game! No really, I mean like, that's literally all I do, too. En guarde!

Oh hey, Troy McClure is in this game, too!

So we have the lamest version of the Dark Link fight from Zelda 2 ever and I end up on top. I save my wife from what appears to be some killer soup stock? Sorry honey, I won't get to experience your umami tonight, we gotta bury this businessman's corpse and stop Lurch from overheating the fridge's icemaker. Oh, but where are my manners, caramia? Let's catch that ending sequence first! What should we do with the rest of the Addams Family now that we have secured their freedom?

I like that, of all action verbs at their disposal, they chose 'throttle'.

Brilliant. Well, that was a quick jaunt. Not great, but also not horrible? I probably wouldn't try to date it again, but that's more because I feel I've experienced all it had to offer. Gomez should either find some super mushroom or hire a better home decorator who isn't a giant? But knowing the Addams Family, they probably know literal giants. Whatever, he probably need a stool to reach his toilet, but that is all his choice. As for you, your choice is whether or not to take this Sprite of Passage. (I'd say do it! You earned it!)

I feel like the manager made the enemy designer give him 2 pitchforks because he wanted the boss to at least appear SOMEwhat spoopy, but didn't have the heart to tell the designer to start over

BONUS: I feel like sharing this music track from the game because I think it's absolutely baller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlTNNOeX-E0&list=PL5YdbMaKCdoiF4XkX-ac-4M9QU1UPjlmq&index=5

Also, because I am amazed that it exists, someone's piano cover of it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5XODMmPGh4

#blinddategaming #gameboy #addamsfamily

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katedoesfics · 4 years

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Shadows of Hyrule | Chapter 77

Just as Link expected, the media had gathered around the hospital, anxiously waiting for Hyrule’s Champions to make their appearance. But to his relief, they were also greeted with heavy security detail, and despite Revali’s eagerness to brag to the cameras, they made it through the crowd without incident and into the awaiting town cars.

All Link wanted to do was go home and sleep in his bed for the rest of the summer. But even though the war was over, there were still some loose ends that needed tying up. For one, the sword needed to be returned to where he found it, which would - hopefully - close the last portal, sealing Ganondorf away once and for all.

Secondly, there was the matter of Revali’s mysterious remark to him and Zelda. Something still weighed heavily on the minds of the Champions. Something that Link and Zelda were completely unaware of. Link hadn’t the slightest idea what had happened while they were seperated, but the thought festered in his mind and made him sick to his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to put the entire thing behind him.

And as he thought about it, another realization came to mind. There was still the unanswered question about the Yiga Clan. Zelda had her suspicions that there was a mole among the Sheikah entrusted with the safety of the royal family. She had mentioned that Impa had warned her not to look into the Yiga Clan. Surely she wouldn’t have made such a warning if there was nothing to hide.

He hoped, at the very least, the hardest part was over.

The Champions found themselves in each other’s company once more. They were gathered together at the park. The same park they so frequently visited. The park where their last soccer game was suddenly interrupted by Ganondorf’s return. On this cool, summer evening, however, the park was empty as they huddled together, keeping their voices low as they spoke.

“So,” Link started, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What’s the deal?”

The four Champions exchanged wary glances for a moment before Revali spoke.

“We think the Yiga Clan is still in business, and we think there’s a mole in the Sheikah. Someone is working with them.”

“Right,” Zelda started, slightly hesitant. “I know.”

Urbosa narrowed her gaze on Zelda. “What do you mean you know?” she hissed.

“I mean. Well. I… had my own suspicions,” she admitted.

“Since when?” Daruk asked.

“For a while,” she said.

“And you didn’t think to tell us?” Revali said.

Zelda narrowed her gaze on him. “It was just a suspicion.” she said. “It’s not like there was anything I could do about it unless it amounted to something. I have no proof.”

“Well,” Revali started, crossing his arms and turning his attention to Link. “If it’s proof you need, your father’s got it.”

Link’s brows furrowed. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It seems he and Dorian are out to kill each other,” Daruk said. “It’s a wonder they haven’t offed the other yet.”

Link shook his head. “They’re best friends.”

“So, threatening each other with loaded weapons is your idea of friendship?” Urbosa said.

“I wish I had known that,” Revali said with a grin.

“What are you talking about?” Link sneered.

“Look,” Daruk started seriously. “After you got gutted for a second damn time, we thought we were fucked. Zelda was holding that dickwad back with everything she had, and we needed to get her out of there and come up with a damn plan.” He hesitated. “We went to the base outside the city, but your dad had other plans. I thought he and Dorian were going to kill us all right then and there.”

“He said he should have killed Dorian when he had the chance,” Revali said simply.

“And he was the reason everything happened,” Urbosa said.

“Everything?” Zelda echoed. “Like…”

“Like opening the portals and giving Ganondorf every advantage he could, probably,” Daruk said.

“Exactly what a Yiga bastard would do,” Revali confirmed.

“No,” Zelda said quickly. “Dorian… he’s not with the Yiga. He’s Impa’s second in command. She trusts him.” She grew angry. “And don’t you dare tell me she’s one of them, too!”

“Probably not,” Urbosa said. “But it’s likely she doesn’t have a clue.”

“Or she does,” Daruk pointed out, “and she’s just not telling us.”

“And she won’t say anything,” Urbosa said.

“No, she won’t,” Zelda said slowly. “She knew I was looking into the Yiga Clan. She pulled me aside and told me to stay out of it.”

“That’s enough for me,” Daruk said. “Sounds like the Yiga Clan is still a very real threat. And if Dorian is a mole, that’s even more bad news for us.”

“What do you think they’ll do?” Mipha asked.

“I’m sure they’ll do everything in their power to bring Ganondorf back and fuck up everything we’ve done to get rid of his sorry ass,” Revali said.

“How could they do that?” Mipha’s brows furrowed together.

“I’m sure they have their ways,” Urbosa said. “And we shouldn’t wait to find out. I’m not doing a second war with that giant dick.”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Link muttered.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Revali said, rolling his eyes. “Get your dad to talk.”

“He won’t,” Link said. “He won’t tell me shit.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Zelda said. “After everything we’ve been through already -”

“Because he’s been hiding shit from me since the beginning,” Link snapped. He hesitated and kicked the toe of his shoe into the dirt. “And he probably has every reason to. If I needed to know, he would have told me.”

“I’d say if it has to do with the safety of Hyrule, you should know,” Urbosa said. “You are the Chosen Hero, after all.”

“Yeah,” Link grunted. “Let me know what that means anything to anyone. It doesn’t give me any special treatment.”

“So, you can’t put that on your resume?” Revali said.

Link sighed. “Are we done? I have a sword to get rid of a portal to close.”

“I’ll see what I can find,” Zelda said. “About Dorian and the Yiga.”

Urbosa pinched her lips together. “Be careful. Don’t do anything without us.”

“I’m the princess of Hyrule,” she said. “What is he gonna do? Kidnap me in my own home?”

“I’m not coming to anyone’s rescue,” Link said, turning his back on his friends. “My job is done.”

“Don’t relax too much,” Revali warned him. “We may be kicking Yiga ass next.”

“Sure,” Link said over his shoulder. “As long as I can sleep the rest of the summer away, first.”

*****

His father was home when Link got home. He and Aryll were happily stuffing their faces with pizza when Link entered. He sat himself at the table with a heavy sigh and reached across to snag his own slice.

“Did they have pizza in the olden days?” Aryll asked with a mouthful of pizza.

“The olden days?” Rusl repeated.

“Yeah. Like. Do you think Hylia liked pizza?”

“I don’t think they had pizza, Ary,” Link said.

Aryll frowned. “Those poor people.” She shrugged and took another bite of her slice. “So, tomorrow,” she continued, changing the subject. “We’re gonna get a puppy, right?”

“I don’t think so,” Rusl said.

“But you said if we won we could get a puppy!”

“In my defense,” Rusl said. “I was fairly sure we would lose.” He grinned at Link.

“Ha. Ha,” Link said sarcastically.

“Well,” Aryll said. “We win. And I get a puppy.”

Rusl put his chin in his hand and sighed. “We’ll see.”

“When I’m a Mom, I’m gonna get all the puppies and do what I say!”

Rusl laughed sharply. “We’ll see about that.”

“Yeah huh!”

“That’s the best part of being a parent,” he said. “You get to be the biggest hypocrite you want, and your best excuse is ‘because I said so.’”

“You say that all the time, Daddy.”

His grin widened. “It’s a wonderful world, Ary. Someday you’ll appreciate it.”

Aryll turned a helpless gaze to Link, and her brother simply shrugged.

“Why do you bother, Ary?” he said. “You’re old enough to know by now.”

“I’m six!”

“When I was your age,” Rusl said, “I had to walk -”

“Uphill, both ways, in the snow,” Link said dryly.

Aryll gasped at Link. “You’re turning into him!”

“No way.” Link shook his head. “I have a better excuse than that.”

“What, saving the world?” Rusl said. “That won’t get old fast.”

“I’m milking that one forever.”

“Does that mean you and Mipha are gonna have babies?” Aryll asked.

Rusl snorted and Link choked slightly on his pizza.

“Hylia, I hope not,” Rusl said. “Do you really think he could keep a damn kid alive?”

“He could make them peanut butter and banana sandwiches!”

Rusl nodded. “Ah, yes, a key category in the food pyramid, with all the nutrients a growing child needs.”

“Don’t you have to go to bed or something?” Link said to his sister.

Aryll shook her head. “No! It’s summer! I get to stay up all night!”

“Go to bed, Ary,” Rusl said.

Aryll frowned. “Do I gotta?”

“Yes,” they said in unison.

Aryll turned her gaze to each of them, then sighed. “Alright,” she said as she slid off the chair. “But only because I’m gonna build a fort in Link’s room and play his video games.”

“Have fun,” Rusl said as Aryll skipped out of the room.

Link listened as her feet hurried up the stairs and waited for the faint sound of a closing door before he spoke.

“So,” he started, taking another slice of pizza. “What’s the deal with Dorian?”

Rusl met his son’s gaze, his brows furrowed.

“Come on,” Link said. “Don’t do this shit. Everyone told me what happened.”

Rusl still did not answer his son. He picked at his pizza for a moment.

“Is Dorian working with the Yiga Clan?” Link pressed, his gaze narrowed on his father. “Is he going to fuck up everything we’ve done to stop Ganondorf?”

Rusl met his son’s gaze once more. If there was anything he knew, Link could not have guessed what it was. His father’s expression was completely void of any emotional response. He held his gaze on his father, and when endless minutes passed of no response, he got to his feet angrily.

“Stop hiding things from me!”

Rusl smiled and returned to his pizza. “Your job is done. There’s nothing more you need to worry about.”

“There is if the Yiga Clan is going to undo everything we’ve done,” Link sneered. “I’m not doing this again.”

Rusl’s smile disappeared. He regarded his son once more. “I won’t let you do it again,” he said softly. He took a bite of his pizza. “Stop worrying. You’ve done your part. Leave the rest up to us.”

Link hesitated. “What about Dorian?”

Rusl leaned back in the chair and met his son’s gaze. “Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t concern you.”

Admittedly, Link was not happy with this answer, but he trusted his father. “I thought you were friends.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Is that what your Facebook status says?” Link grinned.

Rusl smiled and got to his feet. “Promise me you’ll drop it,” he said fiercely.

Link hesitated, then nodded. “Fine,” he said. “But I can’t promise Revali will, or anyone else.”

Rusl considered this with a shrug. “Convince them. I don’t need any more trouble than I already have.”

Link frowned. “I don’t like this.”

“I know.” Rusl sighed. He patted his son’s shoulder as he left the kitchen without another word.

#legend of zelda #breath of the wild #fic #fanfic #loz #botw #shadows of hyrule #soh77

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kirby-suggestions · 5 years

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Who are your best friends in Smash?

Oh boy, I tend to become friends with almost anyone I meet! It’s kind of a long list, but I’ll give it a go!

All of the 64 gang are really close! There weren’t a whole lot of us at first, so we all got to know eachother really well. At first, most were like “wait do I have to fight the pink marshmallow guy? I don’t want to hurt him!” But, uh, I kinda misjudged how much I needed to hold back, and ended up trouncing basically everyone except Pikachu. Samus had already visited Pop Star, and even saw me take down some Metroid, so she knew I could handle myself, and Ness was used to fighting cute alien creatures who were surprisingly powerful, but basically everyone else was really shocked by how much butt I kicked!

At first it was a little intimidating talking to Mario and his pals. Mario, Luigi, Yoshi and DK already knew eachother really well while almost everyone else was either alone or only had passing knowledge of another person or two. Top that off with Mario being THE Mr. Nintendo and the group felt kind of tough to approach! Then I heard Yoshi and DK arguing about who would be able to eat the most out of his banana horde, and I jumped in and said I wanted to take on the challenge too!

I think you can all guess who won that challenge.

It provided a good way into talking to the rest of the gang, and I became fast friends with all four, they’re all really great!

I remember Jigglypuff came in late, and everyone kept thinking she was me for a while. In fact, quite a few people thought I was a pokemon at first! I had a few games at that point, but I hadn’t quite hit my big boom yet, so it was reasonable.

Ness and I became really close really quickly. Bonding over fighting Giygas and 0 respectively really gave us a good reference point! Plus, we were The Kids of the group, I’m sure most of you know how that is.

Then there was Samus, Fox, and Captain Falcon! I think Samus tried to warn the two guys about how I had fought Metroid before, those two would be the only ones who that’d mean anything to after all, but I don’t think they quite bought it! Later we all talked about intergalactic adventures and stuff, it was pretty neat!

I’ve mostly lost contact with the Link and Pikachu who were there for the first two events, but there were definitely some good times to be had with them! I got to hold the Master Sword for the first time and it was really cool!

When Melee rolled around, the group started to get a good deal bigger, and I still haven’t spent much time with everyone who was introduced! What started as a tight-knit group of pals became something way more. Unfortunately, I still didn’t quite figure out how much I should hold back. This time, I ended up going too far in the other direction and hardly won any matches at all! Pretty much everyone from 64 was kind of worried about me because of that!

Meeting Bowser and Ganondorf was really interesting, they’re way different from any of the foes I normally face! I kind of thought Mario and Bowser’s relationship would be like what I had with Dedede at the time, but, no, even if they hang out go-karting and golfing and stuff, their relationship is way more intense! I’ve still hardly talked to Marth and Roy to this day, I didn’t even notice Roy had left in the third event at first because of just how many people there were at that point and since I had barely talked to him! Game and Watch was hard to connect with at first. He made good food, but I couldn’t ever quite figure out what he was thinking! I wouldn’t really get him until Brawl rolled around, we respect eachother now! I… think…

Getting to meet Peach and Zelda was awesome! They became friends really fast, though I wouldn’t get too close to them until later, during the whole Subspace fiasco. They’re both really nice and really smart! Or rather, wise would probably be a more apt descriptor! Peach also makes the BEST cakes! Oh man, SO good!

So then Brawl came around, and with it my friends Dedede and Meta Knight joined our group! I’ve already talked about how Meta Knight was unwilling to hold back and, well, that kind of ruined everyone’s fun. Everyone really liked Dedede though, especially when he basically saved the day during the Subspace adventure! Once again, there were so many people at this point I still haven’t spent much time with a bunch of them! We got a whole TWO new Links and I’ve only ever spent a significant amount of time with Toon Link!

Sonic and Lucas were definitely the big highlights for me! It helped that both of them, as well as the aforementioned Toon Link, kinda ended up getting grouped up with The Kids alongside myself, Ness, and newcomers Pit and Pokemon Trainer of course! All of us had a ton of fun together, Sonic is about as cool as they come and is always ready for a good time! Lucas was pretty shy at first, but once he opened up he proved to be really nice! I have become close to Pit since then, but that wasn’t really related to Smash at all. During Kid Icarus Uprising’s development we talked a lot about Sakurai’s methods. Gotta tell ‘ya, he really put poor Pit through the ringer in that one! He was asking me for advice all the time!

So Smash 4 shows up, and with it who do I see? None other than Mega Man and Pac-Man! Some of my biggest heroes, and I get to hang out with them! Oh man, I was so excited to meet the original Big Eater and Ability Copier respectively! Mega Man pretty quickly joined my little friend group, alongside Bowser Jr. of course! Smash 4 was just generally a fun and relaxing time for us all. Bayonetta showed up late and kinda smashed everyone’s faces in, but at least she wasn’t quite Another Meta Knight, I got him reeled in for this one.

So yeah, that’s pretty much what’s up when it comes to who I hang out with during the Smash Bros stuff! I’m guessing this was probably more in depth than you were expecting, but hey, now you know! I haven’t really gotten to meet the new people in Ultimate yet, they’re, uh, sorta zapped, but I’m definitely looking forward to hanging out with the Inklings the most! Y’know. When I rescue ‘em.

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repeatsfate · 7 years

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A, K, R!!

vidya games!

K – game you’re most looking forward to?

at the moment it’s super mario odyssey and pokemon ultra sun and moon! and, uh… my inner 12 year old is rearing her ugly head to force me to admit i’m also pretty hyped for sonic forces, oops. lOOK IT LOOKS FUN, OKAY…

i’m looking forward to fe musou too but also i’m pretty neutral on it– everything they’ve revealed has been super incredible so far and i’m looking forward to maining my birb, but i’m more interested in the confirmed fe16 and i’m looking forward to hearing more about that when the time comes.

R – most underrated game?

hmmmm… while xenoblade chronicles itself would certainly fit the bill despite shulk being a giant meme now, i think i’ll take it a step further and go on to say xenoblade chronicles x deserves a bit more love than it got–

despite the very real flaws with the game and some aspects of the story, a thing that draws me to it aside from the ‘if you can see it, you can go to it’ MASSIVE open world and setting on a foreign planet was just how human its supporting cast and even minor npcs are. the game does an excellent job of portraying raw humanity in both ends of the spectrum– where there are heroes, there are people even in man’s most desperate hour that took that second chance as an excuse to be horrible, horrible people. the encounter of alien life goes as swimmingly as you expect, with the remaining fragments of humanity split on how to deal with these new beings in their midst. some choose to try and form alliances and bonds, the others shun and fear the outsiders– many quests actually revolve around the racism in what’s supposed to be a safe haven for the aliens pledging themselves to humanity’s side. the conflict taking up the last leg of the game is one born of human grief and the sting of loss– and when you really get into the motivations behind it it’s so easy to understand why the person did what they did but also acknowledge yeah no you did bad buddy you gotta pay for it now. i just???? it’s so good????

the planet and creatures that make up the game’s setting are imaginative and beautiful, i honestly love just booting it up and wandering. sometimes it’s scary as all heck because OH GOD GIANT MONSTER OUT OF NOWHERE but also… that just adds to the immersion and feeling like you’re a tiny fish in a big, big sea… and when you’re strong enough to stand up to those monsters it’s the most satisfying thing in the world.

the musical direction is honestly up to taste- i personally adore xcx’s soundtrack, but those not a huge fan of hiroyuki sawano’s works might find it lacking. here’s a personal favourite!

point is, it’s super fun, i want to do an araceli run sometime if i can ever be arsed to go back on my wii u or it gets a switch port, and a verse would be fun to play around with… i’m not a huge jrpg person, but i really really like xcx. also, fans of matthew mercer– he’s in this one, too! he plays lao huang, one of my all time favourite characters tbh

point is it is flawed, yes, but it’s also a very solid jrpg that i had fun sinking hours into and i’d totally do so again

A – favourite game of all time?

my top fave game of all time? easy! it’s the legend of zelda: wind waker!

it wins in both nostalgia points and a critical eye as i’ve gotten older– as a little kid, it was the first game i ever actually beat all by myself! the gamecube was the first home console i ever got to own– for a while i lived with my granny, who wasn’t very big on gaming if that makes sense? and then after moving back in with my mom she got me one for christmas and a friend lent me wind waker after i tried playing it at his house and repeatedly got stuck in the forsaken fortress. the excitement of finally making it past that and seeing this big, bright, beautiful world and story unfold before me has stuck with me to this day?? idk how to explain it i just. wind waker was an important game in my childhood, and i’ve played through it a loooooot– mostly i’ve noticed it was during times of stress or particular loneliness. everyone has that one game that’s been there™ for them during times of duress, and wind waker has always been mine.

okay i’m read more-ing the rest of this because i… went on for a WHILE. which is also why i answered it last oops. tl;dr there are many reasons why i love this game and it’s still my fave even now that i’m nearly 23.

as an adult, i’ve found that from a technical standpoint the game holds up really well, too– even without the hd remake on the wii u wind waker is still a very beautiful, stylistic game; a major benefit to having taken the art in a more cartoony direction is that it prevents the game from aging too much; if you were to look at the vanilla gamecube edition now, it still holds up amazingly! (meanwhile, i find that while twilight princess is still lovely, the more realistic art direction tends to date it a little. i could look at the original and just know the era it was made in, whereas if i never saw wind waker before, i would question it.)

the textures are rather blurry, sure, but that was a product of the time– hypatia on tumblr actually produced a mod with hd textures for roms of the gamecube version– check out these comparasion shots of the then-work in progress mod versus the original textures… and then here’s a few polished shots of the mod with a few extra effects dolphin/ishiiruka can provide. in short, the original wind waker is a very, very beautiful game and age has done very little to tarnish that even with the remake’s updated graphics.

but obviously graphics don’t make or break a game, though proper presentation is important– wind waker’s story also resonates with me deeply in various aspects. as an older sister, the initial quest to set out and rescue your younger sibling in danger caught my attention and held it fast; they do a very good job of making you feel attached to aryll, and the scene where she is kidnapped always tugs at my heartstrings every time i see it. watching this young boy who lived the world’s most quiet little life on a tiny island suddenly get swept up into this grand, big adventure to rescue someone dear to him and becoming an actual hero – despite having no relation to oot link whatsoever! – is the quintessential coming of age story that most people can relate to, and watching that change as the game plays out is always really sweet???

it was nice watching link’s development through his little actions: the backing away from helmaroc king when he first storms the fortress and then confident staring it down the second time and then giving it what for– aside from ganondorf himself that’s my favourite boss in the game if only because of those moments of development. link’s not just some kid from outset in over his head anymore– he’s a hero who overcame the trials of the goddesses himself in the name of protecting his baby sister, and he will not fail again. and then, after he could easily just throw in the towel and take his sister home because he accomplished what he set out to do, link goes on and sees it through to the end anyways because restoring order to the world is the right thing to do– there’s no legacy of knights looming over his head like several of his other incarnations. there’s no grand kingdom, there are only desolate little islands. there’s a princess, but… he barely knows her. hell, she didn’t even know she was a princess until that moment.

the story also touches on themes of death and the ends of eras… but also ends on a note of hope and new beginnings– clinging to the past only leads to ruin, and we must create opportunities for ourselves and the world to grow. hyrule is actually completely washed away by the end, and ganondorf goes with it– unless we assume breath of the wild is in the adult timeline, that’s it. he’s gone FOREVER in the subsequent games, with bellum and malledeus taking his place as the main villain. the kingdom link and tetra found is called new hyrule, but that’s all they share in significance– it’s their own land, just like the king said. that final scene of wind waker with the king always got to me– that message of hope is so poignant and powerful, i just. i don’t know how to put it into words, but it’s a scene i love dearly.

then there’s the music and cast of characters, and even quests and gameplay? i know the sailing could get tedious but i always liked it; it was relaxing to me just watching the virtual waves and listening to that beautiful score?? the characters are all bright and unique and fun– they’ve got their own little lives and you can impact them in so many different ways and things definitely change once you do?? like starting windfall vs windfall after you do a few sidequests or even turn on the ferris wheel and lighthouse again feel so different? it’s a neat little detail i’ve always found!!

…i really need to stop rambling about wind waker now i actually dozed off a bit typing this post, oops.

#long post;#◈▏▐ ❛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴀᴛɪsғʏ ʏᴏᴜ / ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ. ❜ ― ( latrocinari )#◈▏▐ ❛ ᴄʜɪɪ ɪs sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ. ❜ ― ( ooc )#◈▏▐ ❛ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʏᴇᴛ. ❜ ― ( meme )

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thegeminisage · 7 years

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zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T

#this was hands down the best part of this game for me so far #like it's all been fantastic but this section hit me the hardest in the feels #personal #loz blogging #botw spoilers #so many big giant spoilers #huge ones!!!!

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