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csykora · 6 years

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hey! i’ve heard u mention sasha’s media reputation a cpl times... me being a new caps fan, i’m curious—what’s the scoop regarding sasha and why he doesn’t play in the nhl anymore? & why ppl didn’t “like” him or whatever... sry if this is confusing!

Hello!

Not a confusing question at all.

Part of how I made things confusing is that I often jump back and forth between Russia and North America. Semin has a different reputation for different reasons in Russia than in North America, and neither are directly the reason he doesn’t play in the NHL anymore.

There are three fairly separate things here, so I’m going to trying to pull them apart more than I have before.

Prolonged Intro

There are players in the NHL who shouldn’t be there, and players who aren’t who “should”.

Garret Sparks and Calvin Pickard are not in the NHL. No one is really arguing that Curtis McElhinney is a meaningfully better goalie than they are: if things happened to be different, one of them would be dressing for the Leafs. But it happens to be better for the franchise as a whole to have Backuphinney do his ‘80s thing behind Freddie and give Sparks and Pickard more experience in the minors.

There are a lot of plugs and guys here because their contracts just happen to work out or coaches just happen to have certain tastes or someone else happened to have an inconvenient injury.

The geek squad were saying Michal Kempný was an NHL-level player years ago. It just happened that no NHL team wanted to play him.

Japer’s Rink recently said André Burakovsky shouldn’t be “in the same breath as Semin.” They didn’t mean Burakovsky shouldn’t be in the NHL, necessarily, but it struck me that many fans would just think, “Well, he happens to be in the NHL now, so he must deserve to be there. He must be a better player than anyone who isn’t.”

Burakovsky is beloved as a person, and that colors how his fans see him as a player.Brooks Orpik is despised as a player, so that colors how people see him as a person.

I’m not arguing for Complete Objectivity. For one thing it’s not possible, and I don’t think it would be fun. But my point is that I’m pretty much against the idea that athlete’s careers are about what people deserve, positively or negatively. It’s a way we make sense of complex, coincidental arcs of events. It makes a satisfying, sexy story, as sports media would put it.

But when we think that way, we logically have to think that way about everybody—if something happens to one person because They Deserved It, what about everyone it didn’t happen to? If something good happens because someone is a good person, what about the many very bad people who good things happen to?

So this is not going to be an especially sexy answer.

It is in fact a stupid answer, about a bunch of soul-wrenchingly stupid things that happened to happen to Sasha Semin and not some other guy. Strap in.

1. Russian Reputation

I wouldn’t say Semin has a bad reputation among Russian hockey fans, but the Russian Hockey Federation broke up with him pretty brutally in 2014.

Semin took the fall for Malkin and Ovechkin after the national disaster of the Sochi Olympics. By national disaster I mean disaster for the Russian State. The State wanted to use Sochi to show their power to the world, and instead they got shamed for months on NBC. And then they lost, too.

Russian media sold the story that the Russian team lost because the players didn’t love their country that much. It wasn’t about skill or talent or style of play—Russia was still the best at all of those! Real patriots would have proven that Russia was the best. The team just didn’t care enough.

So it was really convenient to have this photograph:

Semin has probably been semi-addicted to tobacco through secondhand smoke his entire life. I’ve talked before about why I kinda hate anybody getting mad about athletes using, and that’s one reason. Tobacco is massively common in Russia, with over 60% of Russian men using cigarettes and 51.1% smoking daily. Like most countries, the highest rates are in lower-income, rural Eastern Russia than in the Western cities.

This is kinda embarrassing for the State. The State would like to not look like they’re behind Kazakhstan in any measure of development. And they especially don’t like smoking, because it looks bad.

You know how Nicklas Bäckström got Ovechkin into chewing tobacco? (If you didn’t, sorry, now you do. They both use a fair bunch.) The State does not care about athletes using tobacco. They care a lot about athletes smoking, because someone might see. So Russian athletes are ordered not to smoke, and so any Russian athlete who does is violating orders.

Three of Semin’s teammates are also in that photo—they just happened to be boring, so nobody cared so much. Russian hockey fans in general didn’t care that much. They got to have their initial wave of outrage, reassured themselves that the national team could totally have won if only….

Statistically speaking then they had a soothing cigarette, and then they forgot about it. It helps that Sasha has a gently dreamy face and immediately won a Gagarin Cup.

The Russian Hockey Federation still cares a whole bunch. Semin was guaranteed to play at Worlds the next year, and then suddenly he wasn’t on the roster. He hasn’t played for Russia since.

2. In North America

There are a couple threads here.

The reason many Caps fans didn’t like Semin is they fuckin loved the guy. It’s not just me saying Semin was the Caps best player when they traded him, that’s from RMNB. Work your way back through any Caps blog, and there’s so much love there.

The reason many casual fans didn’t like Semin is that, frankly, they didn’t understand the hockey they were watching.

Semin’s pretty much the halfway point between Bäckström and Ovechkin: he has spectacular aim, a canon of a shot, chronic wrist injuries, a tendency to go on hot and cold scoring streaks, and rock-steady top-of-the-league possession metrics. He’s the best skater on any team Evgeny Kuznetsov isn’t on, so once he has the puck, you’re not gonna catch him to get the puck back.

Imagine evaluating Bäckström according to what you expect Ovi to produce, or grading Ovi against Bäckström’s skillset. That’s kind of what would happen with Sasha, because fans would see him shoot and score and then grade him more harshly for not scoring consistently all the time. A lot of the time he wasn’t scoring, because he wasn’t shooting, because he was playing for possession. (Or he was shooting and sometimes he was missing, you know, like shooters do.)

A lot of those fans called to trade him after every playoffs. They also wanted to trade Ovi, so that’s why I don’t listen to hockey fans.

The reason the Capitals management didn’t like Sasha was that they liked him fine, actually, they just wanted to feed his agent to an alligator.

Let’s establish that some people are good at negotiating complex financial agreements, and some people, let’s even say most people, are not. Most athletes are not, and that shouldn’t count against them. That’s why agents exist.

A lot of people like telling Malkin’s story of escape from Magnitigorsk as a daring one-man adventure. That’s understandable, but it forgets that Malkin had someone to buy him a plane ticket, someone making calls and someone expecting him on the other side.

Ovechkin’s agent is his own mother. Arguably, Ovi’s here today because during the ’04-’05 lockout, Tatyana Ovechkina told her son not to resign in Russia. She made a bet, and it paid off when the lockout ended three days later.

Most Russian athletes don’t have that somebody.

Keep this picture in mind. Picture this next bit happening to some kid who might’ve sat next to you in Statistics, and if he passed it was only because tween Evgeny Kuznetsov was loyally making him flashcards. Imagine that kid’s suddenly the main source of income for several generations of his family, too.

When anyone talks about something Semin decided, they’re talking about what his agent decided for him. Semin did not speak English and does not do math; he was honest with the media that he had no fucking clue what his agent was saying in negotiations.

If you google Mark Gandler, you get top results in English like, “Mark Gandler is nothing less than the Prince of Darkness.” He has a long history of making deals that North Americans do not like. I can actually see the case that that’s not his job, his job is to get his mostly-Russian clients and himself paid by one team or another, and NHL teams aren’t as sacred as they like to act. I’m kind of not on board with the idea that players should take NHL teams’ offers as an honor and put the franchise first. But a lot of NHL teams have gotten pissed at Gandler over the years, and the consequences of that land on his clients when deals fall through, not on him.

First, Semin happened to be playing in the city of Tolyatti when he turned 18, so the Russian Armed Forces in Tolyatti drafted him. Tolyatti insisted that Semin had to complete his two years of service in the same district where he was drafted. Very conveniently, they had a very bad hockey team right there for him to play for! So Semin returned to the KHL during the ’04-05 lockout, instead of playing in the AHL like the Caps wanted him to.

Lots of English coverage calls this ‘confusion’ over his military service, since other NHLers were waived. It’s actually simple: HC Lada sucks. Semin was worth more money than the team.

When the lockout ended, Capitals filed a complaint against Gandler, attempting “to compel Alexander Semin’s agent and the Russian hockey team Lada Togliatti to return Alex.” The judge issued a restraining order against Gandler to stop him shopping Sasha to teams that weren’t the Caps.

Things stalled when HC Lada ran out of money and dropped Sasha, along with 15 other players’ contracts. Gandler…promptly shopped him to another team that wasn’t the Caps.

The Caps filed again and at this point the same judge told them to shush, presumably because at this point Semin only had three months of service left anyway and it wasn’t like the NHL had a leg to stand on contracts-wise. Everyone agreed that Semin would return to the NHL for the 2006 season, which he did.

In DC, Sasha and Ovi and then Nicky stole the show and dragged it up and down the ice. They were real real good.

But while Tatyana Ovechkina negotiated Ovi’s lifetime deal right off, the Capitals never signed Sasha for more than a year or two at a time. Every year was a contract year, so every year had to be a career year to justify his value. I don’t know who was asking for what, but as the Caps’ cap problems grew, constantly haggling over one of their stars didn’t seem worth it to them.

In 2012, Semin led the Capitals—yes, including Bäckström—in possession metrics. He was arguably the best player on the team. His penalty minutes, which had been a problem at the start of the season, trended down and were pretty fine by the end, showing that he was adapting to the radically new game play of then-new Coach Hunter.

You know who struggled under with the coaching change? Alex Ovechkin did. Coach Hunter thought Ovi was a spoiled defensive liability, told him to play right wing instead of left, and took away his favorite snugglebuddy. Ovi resentfully on the top RW bumped Sasha down to play with rather less dynamic Swedish centre Marcus Johansson. He scored less goals there.

RMNB jokingly-not-really-joking credited Johansson with axing Semin’s career.

But setting aside scoring, other measures of Sasha’s play like his stable possession and lower PIMS show he was one of the few players who adapted to the new coaching style at all. You might notice Dale is no longer with us.

The Capitals management didn’t not resign Sasha because of his play.

They made an offer, and Gandler made and offer, and both parties finally told the other to go fuck themselves, and Semin dazedly signed with Carolina instead.

By the way, Mark Gandler is now represents Dmitry Orlov.

You’ve probably never felt that level of existential dread while looking at a picture of Dmitry Orlov before. He has a couple years left on his current contract, don’t worry about it.

Why don’t non-Caps fans like Sasha?

The Scene:

It’s 2008. Sidney Crosby is twenty years old. He has not yet done any of the things he’s accomplished in the decade since then.

Ethically speaking, he is on TV too much for him. He’s been on-camera since he was a child. He has to plan escape routes and take back hallways wherever he went and couldn’t stay with his teammates. His fans are starting to try to out him to the media and wreck his life.

Saying he should have bee on TV as much as he is comes off like parents on Toddlers & Tiaras who say their daughter loves competing.

Dialogue:

Semin says Sidney Crosby is a very impressive athlete and very dull human person. So does every honest Canadian.

Semin thinks traditional Canadian men’s hockey with its obsession with shooting is boring and small, smart, play-making skaters are interesting. So does every other Evgeny Kuznetsov fan.

Semin also thinks that even “dead wood” would look like a star if the NHL propped it up in front of a camera as much as they did Crosby, and that’s the line that ticked Mike Milbury off.

Guys, my soul is seeping out of me in protest against the idea of giving a fuck. I adore Alexander Semin. I do not give a fuck whether he enjoys watching Sidney Crosby play hockey.

It affects:

the hockey game that Semin watches at home for fun on his evenings off

end of list

This is a league where Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin said live on-air that the Sedin twins might be fucking each other. The bar for Mean Comments about your competition is so, so much higher. It’s an opinion, and one you would kind of expect from someone whose job was to stop Sidney Crosby winning all the hockey.

Sidney Crosby is exactly as Sidney Crosby as he ever was. If you love his hockey, his hockey is the same hockey.

The only thing that is hurt by someone not enjoying Sidney Crosby’s hockey is the NHL’s Sidney Crosby brand.

The only thing hurt by someone saying Sidney Crosby is on TV a whole bunch is the NHL’s Sidney Crosby brand.

NHL media getting upset over that…kind of supports the observation that the NHL has invested a lot of time and money in Sidney Crosby’s brand.

It’s also inescapable that NHL media had created the Crosby-Ovechkin rivalry to begin with. They made a simple dichotomy. Anything one got was going to be framed as something the other couldn’t. And since Crosby was getting the attention, he must deserve it, and Ovechkin must not.

That’s what this was. Try telling Canes broadcaster Tripp Tracy that Semin was jealous of Crosby’s spotlight for himself: the man deserves a good laugh. I’m sure Semin sincerely does find Crosby’s hockey dull, because many people outside North America do.

But his basic state of being is probably “recklessly in love,” so he got pissed, and he said something that, yes, would have been better to keep as an inside thought out loud.

And NHL media fluttered into a tizzy of, ‘HWHaaat? Hwyyy would Alexander Ovechkin’s best friend not love Sidny Crosby? A scandal.’

People said dumb shit and wrote dumber headlines and pestered Crosby until he said something about showing Sasha exactly how special he was. I can’t muster the energy to comment on how sweetly gay that sounds because my heart is curdling because that’s not how enjoying hockey works.

Women’s hockey fans, European fans, and now Leafs fans all think that playmaking super-skating is as-or-more fun as traditional men’s Canadian hockey, and it’s fine. You can force them to sit and watch as many of Crosby’s goals as you want and yes they will see the goal on screen and say, “gosh, yes, that was indeed a goal, my dude,” and no they will not suddenly stop liking what they like.

Anyway half a decade passed and Milbury and McGuirre and other talking heads continued to call Semin a failure and “a cancer” and suggest the Capitals never won because those Russians just don’t care enough.

I’ve posted some of the milder excerpts before but I genuinely just do not want to type the keywords I would need to pull them up right now. RMNB has a fair few in their archive, and over the years it was enough of a known Thing in the League that other commentators would bring it up.

3. Why’s he not playing in the NHL?

Because Montréal management fucked up, pretty major.

That’s not me: take it from Matt Drake over at SB Nation, and also math:

“His case is one of failed asset management by the Canadiens at its finest.”

Montréal acquired Semin in 2015 to complete their hopeful high-scoring line of Alex Galchenyuk and Lars Eller.

You know how Lars Eller did a great impression of Lars Nicklas this year? Yeah, that’s straight-up what he does. The Canadiens designed a pirated version of DC’s top line, a Lars in the middle, Alex G to race and shoot, and Semin to counterbalance them. And it was a pretty good bootleg!

…for the 15 games the Habs let Semin play.

“They posted a Corsi-for percentage of 59.3%, launched 55.9% of the shots while on the ice, and had a superb 73.7 shot attempts per 60 minutes played. It seems that the coaching staff expected them to be better though, and I can’t account for exactly how that could be.

I assume it had something to do with the lack of goal production. They only had 50% of goals for at even strength, contributing five goals and having the same number scored against them. The thing is, they were only shooting at 7.8%, so there was definitely room for that to improve, and for the goals to come. Had they kept putting up the other numbers the way they were, simple logic dictates that those goals would indeed come.

Individually, Semin was perfectly solid. He stood at 55.5% Corsi for, 54.8% shots for, 51% scoring chances for, and had a woeful shooting percentage of 5.9%. … It may interest fans to know that his 55.5% even-strength possession mark was good for first on the team, tied with Max Pacioretty.

…

Once back in Russia, he had no problem producing. With Metallurg Magnitogorsk, he put up 14 points in 20 games, and added another 15 points in 23 playoff games on the way to a Gagarin Cup.

Habs management missed a trick.

You mighta noticed my good good boys Galchenyuk and Lars Eller don’t play for the Habs anymore, either. Habs management has missed a lotta tricks whenever they’ve gotten ahold of a non white-North American (I am including the ones they still have. Pour one out for poor Price and Patches.) All love in the world to my former-fellow fans, but the management is fucked.

Not playing Semin wasn’t their worst fuck up, but it cost them a chance (not a promise, but at least a damn chance) at the championship in 2015. And also cost them my heart. Whatever.

#Sasha Semin #long post cw

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