#LONGASS POST SORRY

[red-hot-kick]

Theory: Ryuji was popular, before.

I'm not entirely sure if anyone has really talked about this but I maintain my interpretation that, in the canon of Persona 5, Ryuji used to be very (or at least moderately) popular prior to the events of the story.

This is something I've gotten into before when talking to friends who like the game and the character, but I haven't really considered writing it down until now. The main argument I have is based on three things:

Things Ryuji alluded to in canon (but no one believed him on)

The deliberate choice of making him a track athlete

Typecasting for voice actors

1: "There were girls all over me!"

I don't really have the time to go on a deep dive through all the instances in which he hints at his reputation before the Kamoshida incident, but I think the most clear-cut representation of this was during the scene where he and Ann spend the day with Futaba during her post-palace social rehabilitation:

So here's the thing...I don't think he's lying about this. Nobody in the room would be that impressed to find out whether Ryuji was popular since they are already friends (or in Mona's case, he really just doesn't care), so it wouldn't make sense for him to lie.

Regarding everyone's reactions though, here's my impression: Ann was simply not aware of what was going on with the track team, being predominantly focused on dealing with rumors, her friendship with Shiho, and her modeling career (and eventually Kamoshida's advances once he started doing that shit) and she mentions a few times that she and Ryuji weren't actually close before joining the PT; they were just in the same class in middle school. Futaba hasn't interacted with anyone her age in years and isn't the most reliable source when it comes to what people generally find attractive; just because she doesn't have any interest in Ryuji doesn't mean that nobody her age would. And Morgana is a cat that brags constantly about how cool he is, so he shouldn't be throwing rocks.

There are many other times in the game when you get little glimpses of his social savvy, and from my understanding of Royal (I'm an OG vanilla P5 player and haven't done 3rd-semester yet, so don't kill me) when the track team returns to "how it was", he is getting along extremely well with everyone. Not only was he the team's ace: this kid was also expected to become the captain by his senior year (as briefly mentioned when he bumps into his former senpai at the gym, iirc). That's huge! If his team held him in such high regard, then the general student body of Shujin surely had a similar opinion. This brings me to my next point:

2: Girls like boys that run fast(???)

This is honestly something that baffles me. It's also really difficult for me to substantiate; any source material on this is obviously in Japanese and if I could find any of it, I sure as hell can't read it. The only English-language source I know of I cannot find anymore; I think it was an old Tofugu article? However. If you've watched any romance anime set in a high school during the last 20 years, you might have seen this trope at some point: the school sports festival is happening, and the relay race is kind of a huge deal (it's the final event! a make-or-break moment for the class!). The boy thinks to himself "If I win this race, I'll be able to win her heart/ask her out/etc." Low-stakes drama ensues. Maybe a confession happens.

This is (from what I've been told) based on a long-standing trend of girls and women self-reporting in surveys about how, oftentimes, their crushes in junior or senior high school were simply "the boy who ran the fastest in the races". I have no idea what this means in a broader cultural context. It makes no goddamn sense to me at all. Do not cite me on this. But I think it's worth keeping in mind, even if it's almost entirely speculative (and possibly outdated) information. And even if it's just based on rumors, don't you think it's pretty in-character for Ryuji to go for a track scholarship—despite being adept at other sports like baseball and football/soccer, as mentioned in P5 and P5D—because he was aware of the potential of being more popular with girls? Of course, his priority would be getting the scholarship and paying his way through school to lighten his mother's burden, but hey, getting a girlfriend on the way up wouldn't be half bad!

I think this could also inform us as to why Kamoshida (as a predator who wanted attention from high school girls) felt so threatened by the track team in particular, and why he felt a need to specifically knock Ryuji down a peg and sought out a weakness to do so (as opposed to targeting any of the probably just-as-popular boys on the many other athletic teams and clubs in the school). Just some food for thought on this one! Also, if anyone can find a source or has any insight on the relay race thing, please share. I am so confused about it.

3: Typecasting

So this is something that you really only notice if you are very into keeping up with seiyuu in Japan. I am not one of those people. But I do have some favorite voice actors! One of these being Mamoru Miyano.

So I freakin' love this dude. He's voiced a lot of my favorite characters, sings incredibly well, and has an unreal sense of comedy. He's stated in interviews that his acting inspiration is Jim Carrey, and let me tell you: it shows. He is also quite consistently typecast into certain roles, predominantly as princely pretty-boy types, Coolguys, or complete fucking nutcases. Sometimes all three at the same time (shoutout to my boy Ling FMA!)

ATLUS definitely cast him for P5 because of his comedic chops. But I think they also cast him because having him voice someone like Ryuji is a great way to subvert expectations for the player. I think it's supposed to give you whiplash—"what do you mean the voice of LIGHT FUCKING YAGAMI is coming out of this guy's mouth?" "why does the delinquent character sound like king of the host club Tamaki Suou?" "isn't that Rin Matsuoka's voice?" etc. etc. etc.

(here's a quick list, just to really get the idea across. maybe you recognize a few.)

This is obviously a non-comprehensive list, but something that a lot of the characters he's voiced over the years have in common is that they were considered cool, handsome, or popular. Not just for fans, but within the canon of their stories! So...what does that mean? What does that say about how we should see Ryuji?

I think players are supposed to expect that he will fall into one of those categories too, and then be surprised to find that it's not the case—that he's been isolated and made bitter and resigned by what happened to him the year before.

Speaking of his tone, I think it's very telling that Ryuji actually forgets to keep up the delinquent act a lot in the original JP audio, which unfortunately doesn't really carry over in the ENG translation. The delivery of his JP lines sounds a bit more subdued in comparison too—yeah he's got a lot of energy and is very hotheaded, but when he gets to talking about serious shit, he sounds a lot more regretful and melancholy as opposed to the EN delivery which depicts him as more resentful and outwardly angry. I think before Shit Went Down, he probably had the Coolguy vibe. Still a bit of a rowdy idiot and a showoff, but I think he probably came across to most people as a very friendly, sincere, and popular guy.

So yeah, the girls probably were all over him, at least for a short while.

#persona 5 #ryuji sakamoto #character analysis #LONGASS POST SORRY #I JUST REALLY LIKE HIM AND WANTED TO THINK MY THOUGHTS FOR A WHILE #pita.txt

[worlddissolvingintoslime]

like looking in a mirror

#🖍 #wanted 2 illustrate this dialogue very badly cause it made me emotional lol #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #<- i suppose #sorry for the longass post but it looks better layed out like this than squished into a grid even if the pages dont rly flow together #could be happier with bits and pieces of this? but it got me out of the worst creative slump of my life #theres about 2859043257 mistakes in this that i just noticed and cant be bothered to go fix ok just dont look too hard #anywasy thank you loop i love you #its wurple cause its a good color and keeping it grayscale would be BORING sorry not actually im just an avid bright color user #yayyy MJY ART #edit i can say wink with the caption too cause i finally played through twohats ok I OFFICIALLY GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!!

[horrastorie]

So, I may be in love

#OG post #AFK Journey #AFK Journey Viperian #Viperian #Viperian my beloved #I’ve maxxed out his affinity #HIS VOICEEEEEE #Autistic mofo #I wanna braid his longass hair #“My little baby keeps growing~” <— officially my fave voice line so far #DADDY #He’s got that slutty little outfit #I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m simping. I’ll settle down. #I’ve memorized his fun facts #AFK Arena #just because :]

[mamawasatesttube]

saw someone being wrong about kon on the internet again (i know. shocking) and you are all so lucky i'm sick and feverish and lazy because i DID just seriously entertain the thought of writing up a small essay complete with issue and panel citations about why it's simply incorrect to say that kon never really seemed to reciprocate any sort of crush on tim before geoff/tt03. this is just not true. you dont have to actually ship them but to downplay their importance to each other even in the earliest days is simply incorrect. i'm too tired and achy to bother digging through comics to pull up all the issues that have the bits i want to point at but like... they were both very mutually important to each other from early on. it was in no way shape or form one-sided, whether you want to read that as platonic or romantic. man.

#rimi talks #id rather put my limited energy towards the tender t4t timkonisms fic but in my heart this is a longass post #kon's sb94 alice in wonderland nightmare sequence. kon's entire Everything @ tim in issue 85. #the entire concept of robin kon?????? hello????? #the way they function as a unit so easily in yj98 even While actively bickering??? #graduation day and judd winick explicitly saying he wanted them to come out of the closet [together]?? #kon going out of his way to not only do bits just to annoy tim but also being protective of him at the same time?? (in yj98 again) #him wanting robin's number in wf3 (and then getting it sometime before rex leech roller coaster issue)?????? #what are you fucking onnnnnnnnn #you dont have to read it as romantic if you dont want to but they were undeniably close and it was undeniably mutual. bro #i just um. i just think that if youre so internet poisoned to hate a ship that you have to deny the characters have mutual importance #to each other in the canon material (but you can't deny it from one side so you have to claim it's mostly one-sided and blame a writer) #then maybe you should um log off and reread canon ? #<- that's petty sorry but im just saying. #anyways. #returning to the timkon mines now. crawls back into my word doc

[grendelsmilf]

look, my english and art classes did expand my mind and change the way i think and introduce me to some of my favorite works of literature and incite a passion that i have continued to pursue all my life (although in fairness a lot of that was also self-motivated), but there’s also a smugness to the idea that if you were personally fulfilled by those classes then the others who weren’t simply were not “good students.” when that is obviously not the case and even if so, so what. like I’m someone who has always been at the top of my class in every academic subject and always been a self-motivated learner who loves knowledge and expanding my mind and most teachers I’ve had have simply adored me. but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna act like anyone who didn’t experience school that way is somehow lesser than me, especially because some of the evilest people I’ve ever known have been teachers I’ve had, and that’s just how it is sometimes. and even like one million gorgeous soul-expanding pedagogical approaches (to english class or otherwise) will not change the fact that these teachers are nonetheless operating within an explicitly harmful system. so as much as i love many of my high school teachers and in fact still stay in touch with them to this day, im not gonna pretend that this is in any way a universal standard and that anyone who feels left out simply failed to achieve that.

#realized that my longass reply to Rebecca could just as well be its own post #also ily rebecca I’m sorry we are replicating The Succession Debate all over again 😭😭 #o

[squuote]

I think people should be allowed to share their distaste for certain headcanons n such without people making posts about how they’re ‘gatekeeping’. for as much as I’m a ‘do what you want’ kinda dude, I do think that includes allowing people to express why they don’t enjoy something. like most people are pretty civil bout it until you antagonize them by pointing and saying they’re ‘policing’ spaces.

#crow thoughts #sorry fandom stuff is like. kinda stressing me out a bit #and it’s kinda making me nervous to post opinions on things. #additionally I think people need to hear out minorities when it comes to things and not antagonize them #additionally if they aren’t going up to people and saying rude shit or actively posting rude shit in the tags #what does it matter if they don’t enjoy your headcanon? #like I’ve already seen four different posts all talking about fandom negativity and it’s like. just block them. #additionally maybe also don’t put those posts in the main tags? especially if the other person just posted it to their blog :-| #im not explaining this correctly. I just don’t have good experience with people who point and claim negativity #especially in the context of actual criticism about character design preferences and the treatment of certain designs #like you cannot deny that people treat fat designs very differently from skinny designs #ur not a bad dude for having a skinny design but you gotta allow people to discuss and critique things #idk I’m just tired as fuck seeing people in the main tags make longass posts about an opinion from a handful of people- #-who only posted it to their blog and not directly in the tags yknow? #if I get too anxious I’ll delete this but for now I’ll post this

[thwackk]

adding on to the batman infestation on AO3, any green lantern fic recs? I've read like the first 5 pages of ranked by kudos and I'm desperate. Also how is there not more fanfiction for the gl animated series? that was my childhood and I am disappointed about the lack of it.

I don’t read fics that often anymore because it takes too long to find the good ones and the only fics I read are Halbarry centric or Dick Grayson character studies. Rlly hard to find good fics abt just solo characters I enjoy that dont have ships included or have good characterization :( so unfortunately i do not have any reccomendations for you 😔. I would ask @rillette they’ve got alot of good hal centric recs

#asks #thankyou for the ask!! #I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THAT ACTUALLY TAGGING SOUP WHOPPS #that was an accident #sorry soup #uhhhhmmm yeah #i barely read fanfiction anymore cause i get impatient and give up #ive gone through the entire halbarry tag any everytime i check it again there’s nothing new or interesting in there and it sucks #good dick grayson fics are also shockingly difficult to find #SOOO many people DO NOT get him at all and it sucks #also ppl love throwing ships in there like i do not want that!!! #i don’t like any grayson ships i rlly dont #the only ship i kinda like with him is dickroy but again; very hard to find good ones #i could complain abt things in fanfiction for a longass time #ive read a few boostle fics before but again nothing special

[goatedgreen]

i just overheard a guy at my work who claims to be a writer talking about fucking AI and how its helping him so artworks for his "novels" and how he gets all his inspiration from video games and everyone who was listening to his pseudo intellectual bullshit was like "wowww thats so smart! you must get so much writing done like that!" like yeah if all your ideas are taken from elsewhere and you dont pur effort into building characters im sure its very easy to churn out bullshit on a regular basis

but thats not the part that really pisses me off. what REALLY gets to me is that this guy OFFERED TO CRITIQUE MY FUCKING WRITING. and i did send him a sample! and his critique was SHIT!!!!!!! there was like maybe two valid comments (using certain words too much, paragraph breaks) but the rest was just him NOT READING THE FUCKING STORY.

at the end (which by the way i need to mention that i emailed him a pdf of a draft chapter which he printed off, marked in pen like a teacher, then scanned back to me) he had all these questions which, if he had a brain, he would know didnt make any fucking sense .

"how is Owen running in the woods with a long skirt on without tripping?" well, dickhead, earlier in the chapter i actually described how hes wearing trousers now!! it's actually really important that hes wearing trousers because theyre Melody's son's clothes!!! and that's important!!!! ALSO, even when he was wearing a skirt, i described it as SHORT. not long. ALSO ALSO, you can totally run in long skirts. yes even in forests.

he asked me why i didnt show Owen's "anger" more when he "decided" to shoot his father.............. he was scared and pulled the trigger by mistake because his father's yell made him flinch. he was never angry at any point in the whole 2000 words i sent you. he didnt even want to shoot the fucking gun.

at first i thought this might have been my fault for not making character intention clear enoufh in my writing but every other person i sent it to got it immediately and didnt ask the same stupid questions. so.

his other criticism was that Owen's dad wasnt homophobic enough. which i wasnt even going to comment on because what the fuck????

ALL THAT TO SAY that when i then overheard him bragging about his oh so effective "writing process" i had a realisation of just. "oh! no wonder his critique was so shit! hes just not a very good writer!"

#SORRY FOT THR LONGASS POST #THIS GUY JUST MAKES ME SO MAD

[teslu]

frankenstein boy who's fucked up in a whole myriad of ways

bonus memes ft. his frankenstein gf:

#dungeons and dragons #d&d 5e #bloodhunter #undead #frankenstein #also kind of a vampire. its hard to explain #curse of strahd #he's my backup character in case emilia dies. i got a little too obsessed with him tho #will post full design of his gf later #oh wow how could you tell i was a danny phantom fan in my formative years? how could you have guessed? #also oopsie sorry for the longass haitus. my brain exploded. it will happen again

[lilflowerpot]

You know, among the many narrative parallels and contrasts between Keith and Lotor, one I've never heard anyone talk about is the obvious mirror of Lotor's situation with Narti and Keith's situation with Shiro/Kuron. And I won't ask for information about how that might (or might not, as the case may be) play out in LB, but I was rather curious about you take on the subject?

GOD don't even do this to me, I have //so many// feelings about this. Brace yourself my darlings.

So it would be really easy to sit here and say that these paralleled situations—Narti being used by Haggar to spy on & betray Lotor’s squad, and Kuron being controlled by Haggar to spy on & betray team Voltron—are virtually identical, and that the key difference comes in the form of how Lotor/Keith responded to this apparent betrayal by their close friend and confident, therefore fundamentally painting Lotor as the moral shadow to Keith's light... which I think is almost certainly what the vld writers were going for.

But personally? I believe it to be a lot more nuanced than that.

Because, yes, Lotor took the "kill first ask questions later" approach, whereas Keith fought for Shiro/Kuro to the very last, but despite how closely paralleled these scenarios were, the circumstances leading up to these two moments of revelation are simply not equal.

But let’s start with Keith.

[[ Keith: ”I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know we can fix this. Let me help you." ]]

This moment (s06ep05) in particular, taking place immediately after Haggar has instructed Kuron to lure Keith & the Black Lion away from her fleet, is crucial in highlighting the difference in circumstance for Keith vs Lotor; where Keith doesn’t know what’s happening, only that “Shiro” has seemingly betrayed Voltron—but, importantly, in a non-aggressive manner, engaging in only the minimal amount of combat necessary to liberate his quarry—Lotor rapidly and accurately assesses the situation to surmise that Narti has been (and will continue to be) used against him & his friends, and so is an active threat.

But look at this, look at Keith, look at him when faced with Shiro (who he must know isn’t quite his Shiro, by this point, considering they’re surrounded by a hundred clones), because he’s so calm and gentle and pateint and loving..

[[ Keith: “Shiro, I know you’re in there. You made a promise once. You told me you’d never give up on me.” ]]

[[ Shiro: “And I should have abandoned you just like your parents did. They saw that you were broken. Worthless. I should have seen it too.” ]]

[[ Keith: “I’m not leaving here without you.” // Shiro: “Actually, neither of us are leaving.” ]]

So this brings us to the first vitally important component that distinguishes Keith’s situation from Lotor’s: where our favourite paladin has only his own life at stake (and if you’ve watched the show you should know that Keith would choose Shiro over himself a thousand times over), Lotor has other people to consider and protect—not only his life, not even just the lives of his friends, but an entire Empire’s worth of people... but we’ll get to that in a minute.

First, allow me to break Lotor’s scene down.

[[ Lotor: "Transpose the dynamics and run that protocol again." [...] "You think you can fool me, witch? Destroy the bug." ]]

Immediately upon leaving high command and being cast aside once more by Zarkon (s04ep03), Lotor orders Narti to “run the protocol to search for trackers,” and, when she doesn't find anything, to "transpose the dynamics, and run that protocol again." This clearly demonstrates for us how intimately familiar Lotor is with Haggar’s tactics: he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was not letting him walk out of High Command without something in place to spy on him and track his movements. Despite Zarkon having clearly bought his “subservient son” act, Lotor is fully aware that Haggar isn’t so easily fooled, and his conviction in this is such that even when the initial scans showed nothing was amiss he didn’t hesitate before demanding that Narti run another, because his dealings with the Empire have never been so simple.

[[ Matt: "I've never seen troop mobilization on this scale before. [...] Lotor: "What's happening?" / Zethrid: "A galra fleet are attacking us!" / "Return fire!" / Zethrid: "Wait, there's another fleet... and another one! We can't hold them all off!" ]]

Then we have the situation in which Lotor clocks Narti’s “betrayal”. As noted by Matt, troop mobilization of the scale ordered by Zarkon against Lotor is unheard of, and of course Lotor—as someone who not only grew up in the Empire, but briefly commanded it—will have known full-well that the sheer quantity of Imperial fleets suddenly appearing on his doorstep (so soon after he was allowed to leave Imperial command without his father batting an eye) means that something significant changed. Zarkon is a man of action, Lotor knows this, so if his father had suspected anything when he was in the same damn room, he would have dealt with him then and there, but he didn’t, which means this is a new development: one that must have occurred in the brief period since Lotor left High Command.

[[ Acxa: "How did they find us?" / Zethrid: "We must have been tracked." ]]

So then we come to the scene in which Narti actually dies, in the immediate prelude to which you can virtually see Lotor’s mind ticking. Remember, he knows his father and Haggar with horrifying intimacy, meaning he’s fully aware that only the witch could have changed the Emperor's mind so quickly, the question is: how? As Zethrid says (see. above), they must have been tracked, it’s the only explanation for such a swift exacting response, but Lotor found Haggar’s tracker, which means she must have another, undetectable method of spying on him, which means—

Look at his face. Lotor isn’t one to be outwardly emotive, so this might come across as callous or cold, but at the very least we can agree that this is not the face of a man lashing out in a rage. He certainly isn’t reacting as if he believes Narti betrayed him of her own free will—that heartbreaking moment of horrified realisation belongs to Acxa (see. below)—no, in this moment Lotor’s actions are being driven by the same thing his entire character is built around: the Greater Good. Because killing Narti isn’t about cruelty, or revenge, or some sort of innate “evil” at the core of Lotor’s very being,,, killing Narti is about protecting his friends and the universe as a whole.

Crucially, the thing Keith had that Lotor didn’t, is time. Not in the grand scheme of things, true, but where Keith (in s06ep05) is clearly established as the pursuer rather than the pursued, for Lotor it is quite the opposite.

Hear me out; Lotor is surrounded by numerous Imperial Fleets (not individual ships, entire fleets, with more appearing every second) with the four people he trusts most in the universe. They can’t fight their way out of this, the odds are impossible. He is also in possession of the only thing that can rival voltron in terms of raw power—Sincline, though unfinished, has already displayed the potential to be better than the Lions, because it has an extra 10,000 years of knowledge and technological advancement behind its creation—and Lotor absolutely cannot allow it to fall into his father’s hands. His only viable option is to run, and run now, because their battle-cruiser is being torn apart and they’re out of time and if they all die here then everything he’s ever done in the name of building a brighter future has been for nothing, but- but they’re being tracked. And he realises, it’s Narti, it must be, because she was the only one with him when he went to face his father, and she’s a telepath of all things, and if they take her with them then they’ll never outrun the Empire but if they leave her behind... will she be tortured for information? Forced to use her unique abilities against them??

There are no good options for Lotor in this moment, and worse than that there’s no time to find any, so he does the only thing he can do and mercy-kills his friend (because she was his friend, and I believe that with every fibre of my being), before she can become a prisoner of war, or get the rest of their little misfit family killed... and it’s not even just Acxa, Ezor, Zethrid, & Lotor himself at risk because, again, Sincline rivals Voltron. If Zarkon gets his hands on it, that’s it, game over, not just for Lotor but for the whole damn universe.

[[ Acxa: "For Narti." ]]

But then s04ep05 happens, and we see that despite Lotor making the hard—impossible—call of sacrificing one friend to save three others, and immediately heading to Daibazaal in a last-ditch effort to penetrate the rift and provide enough quintessence energy that the Empire might be sustained without need for bloodshed (either slave colonies, the Komar, or the use of alteans) so that he might spare literal millions of lives,,,, the very friends he saved betray him.

And I want you to look at the moment when he wakes after being betrayed by Acxa, really look at it, because Lotor is shot by one of his most trusted confidents only to wake bound and afraid, and even then in this moment of pure disorientated panic, he only shows his true feelings for a second before composing himself. That’s what I mean when I say he plays his cards close to his chest, and that’s why I think judging how much he cared for Narti based on his expression (or lack thereof) upon killing her is completely unfair: if this is all the emotion he shows when in a situation entirly outside of his control, then of course he’d be more composed when actively making a decision... even if that decision was a horrible one.

Tldr; Keith had the luxury of both time and the security of risking “only” (I say, as if the concept isn’t heartbreaking) his own life for Shiro’s, whereas Lotor has neither of these things. The circumstances in which they are each faced with the betrayal of a close (quite possibly their closest) friend are not equal, and as such cannot fairly be used to cast judgement upon their respective moral characters.

#another longass post rip i'm so sorry #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #keith kogane #prince lotor #keitor #galra girl gang #team voltron

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i have stared at these for like the last 20 minutes trying to think of a caption and i can't think of anything but Bighead

#anyways i love him so so utterly horribly excruciatingly bad #my loverboy... my goober... my Other Nauseatingly Endearing Petname I Would Never Call Him To His Face #i need to kiss him he looks like he needs to be kissed. #ughhhhhhhhh my heart melts everytime i look at him i need to be set on fire and thrown off the tallest building i can find #i love him. sorry for the longass post ik like 1% of you even care but my blog my rules so you have to look at him ^_^ #🦪

[eirian]

im ngl sometimes i do think abt retrying the animation industry job thing. i dont Want to and i Wont do it, but sometimes i think about it..

ive gotten better by now and im sure i could whip up a decent portfolio now if i tried. maybe this time id actually get considered for a job lol.

again i dont plan on doing it anytime soon tbh, if ever. but if i Had to? id be ok with at least trying again, i think.

i dont have a lot of confidence w my chances of getting an industry design job, mostly due to past experiences, but also bc there are pros currently in the industry who are literally struggling to find and hold jobs themselves. so what chance do i rly have lol

PLUS if yall were around for my job hunting era u may recall it stressed me out immensely and took a Lot of the fun and enjoyment out of drawing :( plus plus...i got a couple critiques that REALLY hurt my self esteem. one of them was DIRECTLY the reason i stopped drawing cartoons and am currently struggling to find the love for cartoons i used to have. (they called my art style "tired and dated" and said "it would have been popular 20 yeara ago" which erm. really fucking hurt lol. so i stopped and changed styles to be "more appealing" to people)

if i ever did get an industry job id really have to try and find a balance to where i dont hate art bc of it and still enjoy doing personal pieces. i love doing comms! but its a struggle to make money sometimes with just comms, and i physically + mentally cant do anything besides work from home art stuff. so unless i make an original comic to print and sell, i think the industry is the only choice i have left

#sorry for the longass post about basically nothing #im just sitting at eden's parents' house waiting on a call to happen lol

[toastsnaffler]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

#I dont even know why im so fucking sad. this last week has felt like getting hit by a train repeatedly for no reason whatsoever #and it fucking hurts so bad and i cant fix it because i dont know whats wrong!!!!!! #i think thsts why its been so hard sleeping lately like my brain is problem solving but theres nothing there to be solved #and i dont even have anyone to talk to about it and even if i did i wouldnt have anything to say bc i dont know im just fucking. sad #like yeah ive gotten upset abt other things but thats me projecting my mental state onto everything. theres no original cause #unless it really is just pms and some hormonal shit which is likely but kinda insane to think abt. like yeah my body has decided #to flood the entire fucking system with Kill That Egg™ for a straight week except its too effective and makes me want to kill myself also #but apparently not fucking effective enough to start my actual fucking period. yippee #i want a thousand year long hug and to cry rly snottily into someones shirt and then to fall asleep and wake up feeling rested #man. nothing makes me feel any different. exercising and sleeping and socialising and eating and showering and reading #and i can feel my interest in things trickling away like i havent been able to do a lot of shit i rly want to bc of this barrier #and ive been trying to make myself do some things regardless bc inactivity will just make it worse. but nothing works!!!!!!! #i dont even know anymore man. i do everything right and im still as depressed as i was like 8 years ago #and i know thats just the depressed brain talking like i know i dont constantly feel like this but its hard to see outside of it man #u spend ur whole life drowning but its ok bc sometimes u get ur head above the surface long enough to take a breath or whatever #insert overused mentally ill metaphor here etcetcetc #ok i think ive run out of things to say im gonna try sleep again. day 1 billion of making longass vent posts sorry everyone #gn #.vent

[reallyhardy]

omfg all those years ago when i was a CGI thunderbirds are go fan and i had a fancast of dev patel for brains.... seeing this concept art (middle and right images) has me CONVINCED that actually.... this WETA designer had the same guy in mind

#loren talks #like obvs the final version looked nothing like him i was just scrambling for faceclaims lol but #the 2nd and 3rd here. those are SOOOOO dev in chappie/earlier nerdier roles i am SURE of it lol #thunderbirds are go #also sorry for poaching this image i didn't wanna reblog a longass post abt the tracy brothers

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i think i've only seen a soma playthrough twice and the first time i didn't absorb it great lol but upon just some light brushing up (incl a short article that was one of the few results that cropped up when i was like "show me the images for 'soma's save feature featured fisting, right' (yeah basically)") it's like, it's always fun when you're just left with a lot of room to Interpret Themes and unsurprisingly at this juncture i'm lasering in on just, like, the matter of [the self vs the other] via this premise that basically people can just make a copy of their Psyche at any point (but needing to find a new & different Soma in which to upload it but like, largely setting that aside when In This Scenario the new bodies don't affect their minds / sense of self at all....except for when they sometimes do? or maybe not. the like glitchy monsters are just kind of WAU automatons, right. and the people are all able to act / communicate themselves as people, though they might be affected by like, existential crises over the goings on) wherein like....the protagonist can Split In Two* at a few points via the psyche copying/uploading, and then the game Follows the copy that will be continuing to advance the plot, and the version of the protagonist we Were following is now An Other even though it's like, that was The Self (at least insofar as that was our first person pov player character) up till just now. and the protagonist can Know like, yeah that's You right over there also. and yet iirc from like, yesterday's light research, in the first instance he at least gets the Option to kill that Other/Self who was, up till just then, the Self to us too, if that makes him feel better abt the existential crisis, or at least discomfort, enough to like, keep moving right along lol (speaking of. just the other day i was like "adagioly onomatopoeiaing the opening banjo strums of rainbow connection from the muppet movie soundtrack does so much for me" and then i learned it was the anniversary of its theatrical release. hell yes. also memorably once when like marinating for hours in a general malaise & failing to find the wherewital to get up i was like "haha oh wait. i'm playing the song 'movin right along' from the muppet movie in my head. okay" up & at em)

anyways the fisting article (which, i was wondering what thoughts it would have on that truly interesting facet of the game. mostly it posited that the uhh sphincteresque penetration of it all would be Typically considered to make cishet men anxious / threatened / vulnerable, and notes the protagonist (hypothetically a cishet man) is indeed trepidatious about it, while also arguing he markedly Doesn't really hesitate in shit that hurts or endangers others in the course of his shit (though ig that can also depend on the player? haven't really rewatched it recently enough to know how much his dialogue adds to [as a character though he's making it clearer he just wants to cut a swath through your shit asap]) and also questions whether the game thinks of (or, from their argument, knows of) the protag as pretty sphincteresque himself. and like yeah probably imo lol like thee ending being what it is, and as far as i know no like Multiple Endings like in amnesia series* stories usually, and thus more room to have a protagonist who talks to characters in the present and i think like, without the ability to choose what he says

anyways that the protagonist can Understand like, hey see that guy over there, that's literally also you rn, and yet he can [Not accept that] in one case such that he'll kill that Self for "his own" Self's comfort really, as the fisting article expressed, to continue believing he is Unique and the One True Self, the only Real [himself]. when, to be sure, the game Could have kept the first person pov on that version of him we'd Been up till then, and had that pov of the one killed. or maybe left behind in another instance, i don't remember all the "transfers"....catherine Explicitly explaining that only the copy/upload format is possible, Not Transfers, making sense what with like. her magic brain scans that can can wholly parse & store your Psyche data, whatever that'd be like, definitely not being meant to, say, Extract the person's Psyche from their living human body upon doing so. while the ending's drama comes from the game Now staying with the version of the protag who'd been our first person pov character prior to that "transfer," who is Again like "why am i still here" despite having the "it's not actually a transfer" explained, b/c This version Just So Happens to be the copy of the copy of the copy like simon(4) or (5) or whatever and ofc can't have been the one(s) already just left behind somewhere back there in the complex or he wouldn't have been able to be at that point in the first place. and then "killing" catherine b/c he's so pissed, i remember it as him hitting whatever device was her effective Soma, but the article i think suggested she just got too stressed in turn and that Output fried the device. while, of course, post credits shows us their "transferred" selves just fine chilling in the ark like whew glad all that's done with

anyways just getting around to the fact of how it's easy to land on catherine as the center of the game....and of course she's the one really Not having crises over [my god, copies of my Self] or others' selves or what all, having even less of a usual Soma than simon but rolling with it, and evidently having already fully absorbed her Self as a distinct version from her original Self, despite having the same links to her that make simon or anyone else who's been copied into whatever other Soma feel like he's continuously been Himself(tm), the one true Real Self he's always been....and like, naturally catherine being the one behind the entire project of [what if we copy/paste people's psyches into a big ol mmorpg server & shoot it into space so that Maybe something can happen with them / in a way they can continue to exist] so she's Been thinking of, you know, being separate from these Selves turned Others who you'll jettison into space beyond even the body of the earth. unless it's supposed to stay in orbit lol i do not remember the details....and ofc like plenty of other people are like wow that's Fucked Up or it's Not Us and like, the latter sure is true with with the [copying, not transferring] element, but also the former is more choose your own adventure (interpretation) when the game isn't about like, and the simulation Is fucked up, or there's any element of distress or dissonance to existing on the ark, though you can't really know that until the post credits scene confirms you're just hanging out for real....which, that article was also going in on the character who's on this quest to kill the WAU as like "the versions of us it makes isn't Real it's Corrupting" and like, arguably the WAU as just kind of, naturally, something capable of growing, and doing so, and the real problem seeming to come in with the [doing whatever for supposed safety but superceding/supplanting/displacing autonomy in doing so] like, people who did not agree to whatever was done re: their Somas or they would've remembered & been like yeah i'm hanging out as a robot now, or a goop guy, gunk [YES], etc. but separate from that obvious issue it's like, my guy, You're a copy made by the WAU now lol, you're your whole person that you are, with the thoughts & feelings to decide you wanna go on a quest to destroy it, and whatever capacity to pursue it....either way i think the game makes it clear enough the WAU is a Neutral force exercising no conscious discernment, it Is a body, or it's some body (once told me) anyways lol, though i guess i did just go "those Monsters that can chase you are just wau manifestations right" so that's getting kind of complex lol, but even that can be taken as, like, it Mimicking human's shapes & bipedality & other external characteristics, i guess, and just the way an overall theme can be [hmm where's that division between the soma and psyche, machine and ghost] the WAU has been expanding and making various forms of itself, and of humans, and that's also an element of the fisting that starts out as a fingering and can end with having to leave part of yourself in WAU's core if you have completed the choice to corrupt & destroy it, that Connection and Interfacing is required, with increasing [get it in there] required as well though there's no given clear in universe reason why (w/my theory here being: just the Themes of the increasing interaction / reducing Boundary)

where was i going with this. idk naturally there's people like "well you don't have to see the wau as evil or at least required to be destroyed" like yeah one can imagine the case for that, wherein again this one guy's hypothetically mad abt like oh it can't be Us it's making, like, brother in christ You are here as You are b/c of what wau did, if you don't think You're legitimate enough, how can you be dead set on pursuing any decision you make. but also the lack of autonomy wherein wau has (probably? again would have to rewatch) killed people to transfer them to a less fragile soma, but a) also maybe it's just acted when people were already dying / killed from other causes, and naturally there's the Everyone There Doomed To Die Fairly Imminently factor and b) that [wau's neutral / purely soma no psyche (or is it. etc)] aspect that is that classic mixup of wau just acting on its programming in a way unintended by its programmers re protecting life and c) i think WAU can sure be interpreted as a parallel counterpart to the ark project, where people agreed to the latter, & get to chill with simulated bodies in a simulated world, versus the WAU being that [body, world, realm of physical existence] which is funky & Not like a cool nice recreation of the usual world & is also at the bottom of the ocean, but it's sure trying to extend the existence of ppl's psyches by shoving them into whatever robots or slapping together parts or propping up their original body or what all, i don't remember that many of the characters encountered

Anyways Back To Catherine For Real. i'd forgotten this element completely, but that when catherine finds out her original self had been killed by crewmates (lol. amongst) for being set on carrying out the plan for the ark, Her Project, (i.e. launching it into space (risking that launch going incorrectly) vs keeping it on site at the bottom of the ocean here (theoretically less risky, according to at least the crewmate who killed her about her insisting on launching it anyways)) and catherine's copy / now alternate self comments on being like, a bit disappointed And surprised b/c like she says "i knew they didn't like me, but," like not thinking that dislike would lead to a semi accidental killing her (where apparently the guy who killed her may have been wearing the like powered diving suit w/the extra Strength to operate in the water pressure, like oh didn't mean to hit her That hard. in a different soma already) and seeing other ppl (not in universe) commenting on how it sure did seem to be culmination of like "the way others treated her" and how catherine always mentioned like, never having really had friends including as a crewmate here, being an Introvert....in fact, now i'm remembering that catherine doesn't even say "i knew they didn't like me, but" but rather something very close to "i know i'm not easy to like, but" like, aaaugh....like, as ever, a character or a Real Life Person sharing any particular info like "i'm [xyz]" Isn't Required for just trying to always not be ableist and to always treat other people as people even if they don't "just be normal" correctly enough, supposedly. rather than [what is "just being normal" is Correct & Good and you do Not need to undergo a continuous lifelong journey of in fact questioning this & navigating & learning how to communicate & interact & relate, you just need to fleetingly muster some superficial unhelpful Bonus efforts sometimes when you encounter the rare "exception" like someone who hands you their License To Autiste and you can let them keep their fidget cube and continue treating everyone you encounter ever organic aba style]....like, naturally in the game there's no twist where catherine turns out to be Evil or even antagonistic. she's like, patient, encouraging, friendly, helpful all throughout. she's also, ofc, simon's only guide (adding to the suspense of that [my god. my only guide was evil, and/or just my antagonist now anyways]) so he doesn't really get to pick someone he'd Like more. but that like, lifelong matter of why catherine doesn't Get to have had friends. that even as this professional associate she's treated differently, and worse, b/c you have to personally like someone & find them charming & je ne sais quoissy to Not be worse to them? it's fine to be shitty until catherine can, say, say "i've noticed you're being kind of shitty. it's probably b/c i'm autistic, officially, which i'm choosing to share with you & am now presenting my license about it, so maybe be cool about it" and then and only then go "oh ok" and Make The Exception rather than shifting your entire shitty Rule (they also would not actually really make the exception. "shoutout" too to the concept that, of course, it's actually Disrespectful to stop hating autistic ppl b/c you should treat them The Same as anyone else, and you're bringing that organic ABA all the time as part of your "just be normal" ethos life, so be sure to keep being an asshole to them & double empathy probleming putting all the depletion, extraction, punishment, losses, harms on them and all the rewards on yourself)

and like, catherine being killed b/c she was this Body who was going to take away the ark (her project / creation, which she was also just insisting on following what'd always been the plan for) wherein like, even if this guy didn't mean to kill her, he sure did after lashing out at her, same as happens w/simon in the end....and catherine also failing to be thee most "normal/default" version of a person as well by being a Woman, and probably not white either, and, of course, a nonwhite woman, also making her that much more vulnerable to being Out Of Line(tm) by just like, existing as a person & trying to do her shit, though misogyny, racism, orientalism or the like isn't explicitly invoked or especially implicitly hinted at that hard either, but it's like, how does this [scifi magical realism set in the not That distant future but material made in the way less distant past, i.e. all intents & purposes modern / current day of: in the 2010s] have Relevance beyond "would that be fucked up or what" type Invention that doesn't map on to our experiences at all....you don't Have to read into catherine twice being killed by a man who's lashing out b/c she's not delivering what he wants, but you sure don't Have to Not and be like "this is definitely No Misogyny world" like they're still being implicitly ableist b/c she's just not deemed Winsomely Likable enough, she's internalized that with that "i'm not easy to like" framing, why assume a premise of [misogyny is over] [racism is over] etc. whilest soma doesn't really proffer any scenario of like "oh if it weren't for our being able to perceive our designated Physical Differences in our human bodies, all that oppression would be over," that's not being explored even in the specific situation of its plot in the first place; people on the ark seem to have the simulation of the same bodies they originally did, ppl Can retain like, how they'd move, their voices, their sense of their bodies: elements of their physicality. and, you know, whether one even supposes there Is any meaningful body/mind division, though in soma it Is this premise like oh yeah we can digitize your psyche perfectly okay, such that your copy would experience no disruption in that Sense Of Selfness, which is what makes everything particularly like, whoah, and [wow this is just like soma] whenever something kind of invokes similar enough What Ifs but probably less engagingly lol....while also soma is flexible and spacious in letting you interpret shit, you Can defer from fisting wau to death, you don't have to be like "it's so true. thee horrors" abt the Copies Of Selves, who really just become Others to whatever now-other versions of that person, i.e. how catherine, who, as the person who wanted to scan copies of ppl's psyches & put them in a just chilling simulation server launched into space for the Chance of being copy/pasted elsewhere eventually and the chance for the participants to Exist in some form Now, and who did so, is never like, shocked or freaked out by the notion / reality of these copies' existence even though she didn't set out figuring any scans' uploads would end up on the ocean floor stations, she's not aghast & distressed in the end when after having uploaded her latest Self data to the ark & launched it, she's also Not on the ark and Still in the eventually / doomed ocean floor station, even if it's a bummer, b/c she has already just accepted That's How It Works....this [her] was not going to experience being Transferred, like she's Been saying, like she again tells simon while he's blowing up abt [why wasn't i transferred]....just clearly being an example of like, not everyone is like horrified and freaked out and like "that's fake &/or wrong" and you don't have to decide she's incorrect for being Like That, i.e. like, yep, this is the situation, i know there's the me who was killed and the me on the ark and the me here, and i know also we're also for intents and purposes separate people

all that is to say, like, yeah the Scifi What If specific [you can copy/paste your consciousness into a different soma] is there, but also you can be looking at it as just this like, pushing to thee limit of the Self(tm) and the Other(tm) insofar as imagining yourself, as the only Internality / Mind / Selfhood you have access to, as The One True Real Self and all Others as mere somas/bodies, whether you take that to as dehumanizing an extreme as you can or you just put some double standards on Others / treat them as lesser/less Real, or oh but just Sometimes, in Some Cases, which is fine and relevant to anything, rather than what's fine and relevant being to always be aware that everyone's Otherness is a matter of perspective, you're the Other to everyone else, everyone is just as The Self as everyone else, You Could Be That Other, that other Is [you] to themself, you are the "that could be you" to them....with soma, it can just be elevated to "that Other WAS you from 0.5 mmsec ago, and continues to be them, b/c they didn't experience any disruption in their existence, though now you're both in different situations of: different locations, different bodies, the awareness there's that Other Self over there now, possibly the difference of killing that self you were just copied from so you can go on feeling like the One Real Self"....but wherein like, that's just like, [What If: you Were able to wholly & accurately Know the self inside an Other? b/c it's you from 5 min ago] of like, scenarios like [what if you time traveled 5 min into the past] except wherein that case there's usually the efforts to Resolve(tm) the timeline of that One True Self one way or another, ultimately. or is there. obviously who's positing that soma is the only material to be About the "whoa lol. me as an other" concept made scifily literal or anything

anyways that like, it creates that situation wherein one Can point & go "literally literally me" but also simultaneously one Can go "that's Not literally me arrrgh" or "that's also Not literally me, matter of factly"....simon's wrangling with the Othering of his One True Self, but he can also Know, should he choose to shift to that perspective, that all the Others who aren't alternate copies of him are all Another True Selves, An Other True Self even, though ofc as per the nature of not having a collective consciousness, he Doesn't Know the accurate whole of their psyches b/c he was not ever [literally them], but he doesn't need to to know they're just as [a whole psyche in there] as his own have been. original catherine with her fellow original crewmates being othered enough by them for the dehumanization of treating her worse, her being isolated, that indeed her being killed doesn't feel separate from all that by her or by anyone else, just an escalated extreme final fatal manifestation of it, b/c nobody ever liked her in the first place and then she became a (psyche Piloting a) body getting in the way of what one guy with amplified strength at that moment wanted from the project she made to let others' psyches keep existing in some way, which was deemed valuable enough by that guy to want to commandeer it and keep it at the bottom of the ocean versus risk a launch, regardless of how you the player think of the idea

and thinking of the way you can like, effectively befriend that boxy underwater little propellered Regular Simple Robot Helper that follows you around at some point, that is, of course it can't talk to you, it's definitely Just(tm) this not-ever-a-version of a human robot for practical tasks (dyspeptical tasks, clerical tasks, hysterical tasks) and like, imagine Its interiority, get invested, try to protect it, humanize it regardless....whereas with actual humans, and their psyches in a microchip, you can kill them for not perfectly delivering whatever you wanted even when that's not what other humans ever exist to do. then simon loses the Company he still could've Gotten From catherine, [guy who killed original catherine] didn't succeed in keeping the ark unlaunched, b/c that's what you go and do....but really just thinking of that Thread that feels so extremely relevant of like, catherine copy being simon's only option sure and working With him on this mission until we stay with the edition of him who realizes it didn't lead to his escape onto the ark, i.e. always being in relation to him in a manner of a direct practical teamup & a [take it or leave it] sole option for that anyways....but that in her original, human-bodied life, she was always "oh only a little bit" dehumanized by everyone such that she is very much aware of the way that's defined & limited her life, never had friends, i know i'm difficult to like; until that dehumanization escalated to the extreme of trying to hit her to stop her from seeing her project through, and just happening to kill her, and the fact that this seems to no one just a coincidental whoopsie of a fate just entirely disconnected from the way others always saw her and treated her as this Other among others, while other [psyche/soma]s of others who are clearly not Your Self get to have friends and not be isolated and feel hard to like forever and end up killed by coworkers

tl;dr like love a text just inviting plenty of interpretations and lenses and perspectives, ofc gonna look at it like whoa it's anarchy in there (political cats sense) where are the borders where you are thee self above thee other....soma providing that thinnest boundary of like, yeah that mf over there? there but for the [being in a different body, in a different place, with 7 seconds of negligibly different life experience] go ye. but also the usual boundary of "that person is in a different body in a different place with a different whole life but you're [that] to them and they're just as much a person and a self and an other as you are" like catherine center of the game to me

(* just remembered i had these asterisks: sure enjoying how the premise of amnesia games effectively creates Alternate Selves b/w the protagonist's present self, with however much missing time, and past selves whose goings on are completely relevant to the in media res situation you're also tackling while obtaining pieces of that past to priovide further context/info, and how this premise manifests for different stories each time; you've even got oswald like physically divided into Two Selves in a:amfp, though iirc it's not like, psychically equivalent, kinda "regular oswald & nefarious destroy the world duplicitous oswald" lmao, classic....uhh and shoutout to penumbra being similar ish in that the protagonist's story isn't want's relevant, he's trying to find out what happened to his dad and more broadly the like underground pocket world he enters for those answers? iirc....but that soma shares that amnemonic premise of [intro] [suddenly like ???] [having to navigate your present mission & figure out the past & your Missing time] but like, thee respective Lores don't overlap really, soma obviously starts present day and takes an even more obvious leap into a future / completely different location, rather than amnesia games being set in the past with missing time of like, idk months? to even just days, uhh supposedly like [forever] in justine but that's like, i dunno sure lol, the peak mysterious / withheld protagonist really, on purpose. while naturally there's also the fact that, technically, this simon we are following at the start of the game did not actually forget anything, and that's a fun distinction despite that it otherwise initially seems like the same [amnesia] premise....and that he did kind of ""forget"" things in that original simon lived however much longer before dying, that his scan then ofc didn't retroactively include. so once again it's like, well, in amnesia ppl have likewise kind of rewound to a Past Self before the missing [crucial context to your in media res misadventure] time, w/daniel (and justine) even doing this On Purpose, though as is the nature of the amnesia series, everyone regains enough of that missing info about their goings on anyways, though you the player are Not in a story of like "wow they did Exactly the same thing again and ended up in the same place anyways" and Do get to kinda choose who they are / indeed end up with some Alternate Self, potentially, despite there being plenty of room wherein like, it's not precisely, granularly laid out Exactly Who They Are at any point anyways. only just now getting extra amnemonic lore that yes daniel got all fucked up on vitae rituals b/c that's just what happens! and people are fairly horny for it! always a possible interpretation that he was high on vitae (okay one proffered pronunciation of "curriculum vitae" (which i was like lord i feel like i've gone "what tf is that" about before but what tf is that. turns out it's what CV stands for as your specifically educational resumé) does say "vitae" would, in that case, rhyme with "nigh." other sources are listing like a million different combinations of a million different ways to pronounce each syllable. also they gotta say it a way in the game but i forget. daniel's VA apparently being some chemistry teacher? just like alchemy. not what the pope said to do, weird science, it's my creation....) anyways! the psyches diverge, the bodies don't, unless they do (oswald....uhh the guy in the bunker. lambert :( ) like catching up with The Self again, encountering extreme examples of Othering and Dehumanizing and [you are just like only a soma to me] with various means and ends of acting thusly to get xyz results

#uhh nominal tagging. i probably have nonzero soma posts...? maybe? lol #soma #amnesia #atdd #soma spoilers yeah but a) game's more than half a decade old at this point b) material that hinges on Surprising you the first time as like #thee sole worthwhile feature of its experience: probably not that good; i don't think soma's even dying to keep you from guessing any #''twists'' and if you Do it doesn't feel like you're like cheated of anything lol. though i'm sure the surprises are fun. the ending is sur #like yeah oh a fucked up surprise for the player too; but that's b/c the game of course Until Now followed the ''advancing'' simon copy #c) same as (b) but like spoilers don't really ruin things anyways imo. who is reading this in whole like ''damn i was Just gonna play this' #whereas idk now you know of it. also lbr who is reading this in whole period? probably some people lol. you do not have to ofc as a fact an #as a stance. i'm like; would i read someone's longass post abt something i don't already know abt / am not interested in? not often #d) if you Are like ''nooooo SOMA spoilers arrrgh i was Just abt to play it'' like damn my bad. i'm sorry. play it anyways it'll be fun #or e) watch a playthrough. i myself cannot Firsthand Game too much & this has generally been the case #long post //// #all this uncrucial and noncomprehensive but just taking 90k words & meandering tangents to say [hand over heart] catherine.... #as is my mode of verbalizing anything really #i'll recommend the game easily enough; sure watched a full playthrough twice & may revisit for a thrice. or at least various clips lol #even got a safe mode (where you Can't Die so you can get through every part b/c thee story is the point anyways)

[69ywivez]

HEY WATCH THIS *DABS* 

BTW DO NOT TAG AS KIN/ME, OR BE WEIRD IN THE TAGS, THIS IS ME . I DREW THIS BECAUSE IM HOT BUT YAKNOW 

#vantras bulletin board #digital art #karkat vantas #THIS IS THE FIRST PROPER WORK IVE POSTED IN A LONGASS TIME I AM SO SORRY