#Just. ugh bonding is romantic as a fantasy but it would probably be fucked up irl and what if I made it even more fucked up?

[greengoddesssmoothie]

So. Apparently. My brain wants to write angst.

#not another wip dammit #but also like #okah so. ​t’hy’la bonding but make it fucked up. let’s say it makes it difficult to say no to each other or something. #which is one of the reasons Vulcans are so against spontaneous bonds #if one of the bonded is psi-null #then the inclincation to agree only goes one way and is much more intense #so like. accidental t’hy’la bond between Kirk and Spock and Spock starts to figure out what happened because he finds it increasingly #difficult to say no to Jim or even argue with him. #so like. how can Spock possibly continue to serve under Kirk if he literally can’t say no? how can they be in a relationship? #in private Kirk can be careful with his wording (a la Ella Enchanted) so nothing is a ‘command’ but he can’t do that on the bridge #and then they end up in the Mirrorverse and see how that version of themselves is handeling the same situation. #spoiler alert: it’s bad #I probably won’t write this unless it refuses to go away #Just. ugh bonding is romantic as a fantasy but it would probably be fucked up irl and what if I made it even more fucked up? #soul crushing devotion written in its fucked up co-dependent and autonomy-stripping terror #anyway #green speaks #fic thoughts

[ace-trainer-risu]

okay, so i’ve been meaning to ask for awhile, but i’d love to hear your official rec/review for gideon the ninth. i know i will read it eventually, but i love hearing your thoughts and would love to know why you enjoy it so much :)

ohh YES! Thank you for asking me!! Gideon the Ninth is one of my absolute favorite books right now and I just finished re-reading it, so very happy to talk about it!

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir is the first in a series, The Locked Tomb, originally meant to be a trilogy but recently announced to now be a quartet (!). It's...so hard to summarize, but here goes:

In the sci fi fantasy empire of the Nine Houses, ten thousand years after an apocalyptic event lead to the death and resurrection of everyone living in the system, necromancy is real and swordplay is a revered art. The Ninth House, a shitty little death cult on the edge of the system with an ancient secret at its heart, lead by the Reverend Daughter Harrowhark and unhappily inhabited by our heroine, Gideon Nav, is on the verge of falling into disrepair, when Harrow receives an invitation from the Emperor/God himself. God, by the way, is named John and has a Kiwi accent. Harrow and her cavalier primary (a sword fighter sworn to protect and serve a necromancer) are invited along with all the other heirs of the Nine Houses to come to Canaan House, a decaying mansion on the long abandoned planet of the First House, to try and rediscover the ancient secrets of the Lyctors, powerful immortal(ish) necromantic saints. There's a few problems, however. For one thing, Harrow doesn't have a proper cavalier and Gideon is Harrow's next best choice...mainly because Harrow and Gideon are the only people alive on the Ninth House under the age of 50 (and frankly, neither of them should be alive either). Unfortunately, Gideon and Harrow hate each other very much. For another thing, it seems like not all of the heirs of the Nine Houses are really who they say they are. Oh and also, someone seems to be trying to kill all of them before they can uncover Lyctorhood. So that complicates things.

Like this story truly has it all. It's a love story. It's a gothic romance. It's a space opera. It's a murder mystery. There is a simply ridiculous amount of skeletons. Also it's queer AF.

UGH its just so good in every single aspect! It's incredibly suspenseful, the writing is amazing, the characters are just! *chef's kiss!* There's so many good and interesting and compelling characters. It's extremely funny and there are a ton of meme references scattered throughout the books. You Will Experience the Full Range of Human Emotion. The setting is so cool and weird and richly described. Canaan House is extremely haunted and extremely gross and I would like to go there very much. There's so many mysteries which are so fascinating to unravel. It was fascinating to re-read the books because there were so many things on the first read through that were just like. Wha? but on the second read through made sense! But also plenty of things left over that are still...Wha???

But probably the best part in my opinion is the cavalier necromancer bond! One flesh one END! Basically, all of the main necromancer characters have/had an associated cavalier primary, and this is an incredibly central, important, profound plot point. It is not an exaggeration to say that just about everything in these novels centers on the cavalier necromancer bond, and it's so fucking good, it's like Pacific Rim Drift compatibility but with swords and dead bodies (altho. I guess to be fair Pacific Rim also has swords and dead bodies? Anyway GtN can do Drift compatibility and PR can do one flesh one end). And much like Pacific Rim, there's a lot of different kinds of cavalier/necro bonds shown, which is great, there's romantic relationships, a married couple, best friends, ride-or-die, fucked-up twins, siblings, a super weird uncle and nephew, unrequited love, enemies-to-lovers...like at its heart its about trust and lovE and also SWORDS and how is that not the best thing????

Plus, there's a ton of casual canonical queer rep and a haunted-house load of interesting female characters, and yet at the same time it's very casual about it, it's not a Thing it's just like, of course these characters are queer, of course all these female characters are (literally) kick ass, duh! Like it's by no means wrong for a story to be About being queer or About being a woman, but at the same GOD its so sexy how this story is first and foremost a gothic space opera...in which the majority of the characters happen to be queer and female. To be clear, its not like the queerness is sidelined. To the contrary, a significant amount of the plot revolves around a bizarre love polygon in which all the participants are girls. It's just that it's not about the fact that they're all the same gender, its more about the fact that at any given moment, at least one member of the love polygon is uhhhh dead. Undead? Not alive. (And before you worry - It could not in any fairness be considered Bury Your Gays because the dead very much refuse to stay buried in this series, also there's barely any explicitly straight characters and they very much do also die.)

I feel like I can't even do it proper justice, but it's just such a rollicking good time. When I read GtN for the first time it was like March of 2020 (which, yes, I did read this directly before lockdown in my state so that's very weird in my head) and I read it and thought, this is going to be one of the best books I have read all year. And I got to the end of the year and I was like Hrngngng oof ouch 2020 but also I was like Yup, I was right. Read Gideon the Ninth and read Harrow the Ninth because they will be some of the best books you have read all year.

(altho also there is much potential triggers so please read with caution)

anyway uhhh TLDR: Gideon the Ninth is the first volume in the Locked Tomb which is an extremely fun, suspenseful, twisty book series featuring all the big Ss: skeletons, swords, soup, sex pal, sapphic girls, some mysteries, smemes...in SPACE. Please read it, it is good.

#gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #veronica reads things #asks #disastershy #long post #things you didn't care to know about veronica #reading things

[petri808]

G1+Hakyona Angel/Demon @firiare & @bmarvels

Humans have always thought themselves above other creatures even though they were merely just another species like the rest in nature. In the beginning, those with power or abilities fought against humans, but eventually gave up. They realized it was a pointless endeavor, so for the last 200,000 years, they used their magic to fade into human societies, and the ancient myths became nothing more than fairytales. Contrary to what the human societies had conjured up about ‘mythical’ creatures, the truth behind many of the stories were just that, story’s. Tales designed around them to serve a human’s purpose. A scary demon to frighten peasant subjects into submission or an angelic fairy to soothe away the fears in their hearts and offer salvation.

Life wasn’t always easy for any creature on Earth. One must learn to adapt and change, fit in and move forward. But it could be doubly difficult for a mythic creature trying to blend amongst the humans. Over time, most had developed societies within the human civilizations to watch out for their own, or gathering places where they could be their true selves. Forged bonds were also common between creatures and humans who’s loyalty were not in question. It was all meant to protect both sides, for wherever there is room for fear or misunderstanding, problems are unavoidable. Could one imagine a human being brought up to believe a demon is evil, not freaking out if suddenly they’re bf/gf said surprise, I have horns— probably wouldn’t go over well.

Hak new this well enough, he was a half demon after all. Mother was a demon and father a human who’d served in the military. But if this existence didn’t already come with struggle, his mother died during childbirth, and father during an overseas war when Hak was 4 years old. Luckily for him, a close family friend adopted him knowing full well the family’s genealogy. It was an older gentleman with no children of his own. Mundock, or grandpa Mundock raised him to blend into society. Hak turned into a very smart, athletic, capable young man who after college made a modest living working at a shipping company owned by another demon. It was a comfortable, albeit lonely life, because Hak shied away from romantic relationships.

Not that the ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ stereotypical male couldn’t get a date if wanted to. Instead, he was afraid of falling in love only to have his heart broken if they couldn’t accept what he truly was. But his best friend Jaeha, a dragon in human form, was the opposite of Hak in many ways. Where he was quiet and naively sarcastic, Jaeha was extroverted and flirty. The man constantly tried to set him up with women. Come on, the man would admonish, let’s do a double and have some fun!

“No! No! What part of no, don’t you understand?!” Hak growled at his friend. “I’m not interested.”

“Pfft, boring grumpy ass...” Jaeha walked away from the couch where Hak was lounging with a video game. The conniving man then noticed Hak’s phone sitting on the kitchen island. Fine, he grinned to himself. ‘Time to take matters into my own hands.’

Jaeha opened the phone easily since he knew his friends password, and downloaded a popular dating app. While Hak was too engrossed in his game, he set about creating the perfect profile to lure in the women. Frankly, it wasn’t very hard. One hot profile picture, check. Bio info, stays in shape, works at a shipping company, hobbies include soccer and martial arts. Looking for, monogamous relationship with a sweet, friendly girl who is open minded. Click, send. Within minutes, the app’s inbox was receiving hits. Jaeha happily screened through them, looking for the right girl he was sure Hak would find difficult to say no to. Because despite his friend’s, ‘I don’t wanna date,’ attitude, he knew what Hak’s type was and that he was lonely.

He scrolled through profile after profile of the women messaging Hak looking at their bio’s. They ran the gamut of types, and not just in looks but demeanor from shy to scandalous. Many were obviously just interested in Hak’s appearance, and after close to 50 profiles, even Jaeha was starting to wonder if this was worth the effort.

That’s when he saw her... A pretty, fiery red head with purple eyes who’s effervescent skin and soft, innocent eyes just pulled you in. Her appearance may have caught Jaeha’s attention, but it was really her bio that solidified it. College educated, works as a primary school teacher, with a love of fantasy arts and stories. Oh, she is perfect!

Jaeha checks to make sure Hak is still focused on his game, then sends off a message to the woman.

‘Nice to meet you Yona. I noticed you’re into fantasy stuff, that’s pretty cool.’

‘Hello, nice to meet you too, Hak. Yeah, I find mythical creatures to be fascinating, so I’m always watching out for nice art or good fiction books about them.’

Jaeha grinned at the message. So far, so good. ‘It’s nice to meet someone who appreciates such things. I’ve done a little research on dragons and demons too.’

‘Really? Why demons?’

‘I think they get a bad rap in the old stories.’

‘Lol. You might be right... I don’t think angels are saints either.’

“Wow...” Jaeha mumbled out loud.

“Wow, what?” Hak looked up, questioning his friend.

Shit! “Oh, nothing. I just noticed you killed that opponent is all.”

“Oh,” Hak’s brow raised in suspicion, but he opted to go back to his game.

Jaeha breathed a sigh of relief. He would have to tell his friend the truth, but not yet. Time to go in for the kill.

‘Yona, would you do me the honor and go out on a date with me? I’d really love to get to know you more. How about this Saturday for dinner, restaurant of your choice, my treat.’

Several minutes pass by, but finally she responded. ‘Okay. Merrimans restaurant on Kilauea avenue at 6pm. Make sure to call in a reservation.’

‘Will do. See you then. Have a great rest of your day, Yona.’

‘Nice meeting you too, Hak.’

Jaeha grinned wide and walked over standing in front of his friend. “Hak, buddy, I gotta tell ya something, so turn that stupid game off!”

“No! So move your ass outta my way!”

“I got you a date.” Jaeha held the phone at arms length with the picture of Yona on the screen for Hak to see it. “Saturday, 6pm.”

“You did what?!” Hak stood up and grabbed his phone from the man’s hand, his blue eyes turning red in anger. “I told you, I’m not going out on a date!”

“Fine.” Jaeha crossed his arms over his chest, but a smug, unperturbed look still on his face. “Then you can be the bad guy and turn her down. Go ahead Hak, be the mean guy who breaks her heart.”

“You son-of-a!”

“Just look at her Hak. She’s pretty, she’s smart, and— she’s into creatures! She’s perfect for you! I’m tired of watching you moping around our apartment, you need a damn girlfriend.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“No, I’m your awesome wingman.” Jaeha winked and started to walk away. “Don’t forget to make the reservations. Details in the chat.”

“Fucking prick!” Hak groaned and plopped back onto the couch with a thud. His friend got him good this time, because he knew Hak didn’t have it in him to be mean to a girl. So, begrudgingly he started reading the woman’s profile.

Yona. ‘She’s tiny...’ okay, so, she is very attractive... and her comments about angels and demons catches his attention. No wonder Jaeha liked this one. But Hak wasn’t getting his hopes up, because finding them fascinating is still not the same as how someone would react if one were standing right in front of them. ‘Merrimans,’ at least she had good taste. He calls and sets up the reservation. “Ugh, this better turn out okay,” Hak yelled out loud enough for his roommate to hear it. “Or I’m kicking your ass dragon!”

It was four days until the fateful dinner date and he’d be fooling himself to say he wasn’t nervous, anxious to see if this girl could really be different from all the others, yet realistic that it may not turn out that way. Hak went about his work days like normal, never showing his co-workers or delivery customers anything beyond a mask of invincibility. He prided himself on never losing his cool, a behavior he’d maybe inherited from his military father. Even though inside he was a mess. Ugh! This is exactly why he avoided this area of the heart! Because in that way he was more like his mother according to gramps. His mom was a tough demon with a heart of gold who hated the idea of hurting anyone. Hak too didn’t like to let anyone down, and his respect for women came from stories about her.

What if this Yona woman liked him back but couldn’t accept his true identity? He’d break both their hearts. Maybe it would be best to let her down gently right from the beginning? This and more Hak pondered during those four days, his mind constantly calculating the options and odds. So that by Saturday morning his decision was made, right or wrong. He’ll go through with the date, but make it clear he’s not interested. Yes! That’s what he’ll do. Shield them both from future misery. Yona’s a beautiful woman, she’ll find someone better.

“Hi,” Hak stood before the hostess stand. “I have a 6pm reservation under...”

“Hak?”

A tiny female voice behind him sent a shiver right up his spine. Hak whipped around at his name, a surging sense of power titillating the nerve cells of his skin. “Yona?” The woman exuded something he’d never encountered before.

“Hello,” the woman smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Y-Yeah,” cheeks heating up, “it’s nice to meet you too. Um,” he turned back to the hostess still flustered and mind racing, “Hak, reservation for two.”

“Welcome to Merriman’s,” the hostess responded. “Please, right this way,” she gestured for the pair to follow.

Hak stepped aside and motioned for Yona to go first, then followed behind. Clearly this woman was not human, but what she was, he wasn’t sure of. Her energy was bright, soothing, and so inviting that it almost overruled his own thoughts. Was she a succubus?! What little he knew of them came from the stories, how they lured men in with their beguiling natures. Hak shook his head of those thoughts before they could be seated. Yona only came up to his chest she was so tiny, so that the idea of her being a strong demon was hard to grasp. Well, whatever she was, this date wasn’t going to be as easy to get through as he’d hoped.

The air between them was expectedly nervous. Hak couldn’t tell if Yona had figured out his nature yet, and she sure wasn’t behaving like it. To anyone around them, they simply appeared as a couple on a quiet dinner date. He did his best to stay engaged, though she initiated most of the conversations. They talked about things Hak assumed any pair would when trying to get to know each other. Family, friends, interests, but nothing overly reaching and he definitely didn’t want to just bluntly ask about creatures, not in a restaurant where they were surrounded by humans.

She was everything her dating profile had made her appear to be and more, and he felt himself being pulled in. It created a growing dilemma as the night wore on, and Hak found it more and more difficult to stick to his original plan. By the dessert round, he knew he needed to make a decision, so screw it, he’ll ask the question that could get him immediate answers.

As soon as they exit the restaurant, where no one was around, Hak launched into his question. “I’m gonna be straight with you Yona. It was actually my roommate who set this all up, not me because he thinks I need a girlfriend. A-And I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice, but there’s things about me that—”

Yona placed a finger on his lips to hush him. “Not here. Someone might hear us.” She then took his hand, “there’s somewhere safer we can talk.”

“O-Okay...” Hak blushed both from her commandingly gentle reaction and her hand in his!! He followed quietly as she led them just a few storefronts away to another business, giving up total control like a putty in her hands. If Jaeha saw them, Hak wouldn’t hear the end of it. How the mighty demon Hak was subdued by a tiny woman...

The business itself was nothing special, just a bar from the outside. But then Yona continued inside towards the back, stopping in front of a wall. Hak watched in awe as she muttered a few words in another language and suddenly a door appeared. They went through it and that’s when Hak realized they were still in the bar, just a section reserved for creatures!

After moving them to the side, Yona turned around and giggled. “Let me see the real you, Hak,” she spoke as she dropped her own glamor and white feathery wings suddenly appeared from her back along with a yellow effervescent glow on her skin.

His eyes flashed wide in shock, but he complied with her request. Hak turned off his glamor to reveal two short, pointed black horns on his head, a long black leathery tail, and talons on his fingers.

“You’re a demon” She verified.

“And you’re an angel,” Hak breathed out. “Now I understand that comment from the chat.”

She nodded. “But I have a confession as well,” Yona confided. “I already knew you’re a demon because your friend Jaeha contacted me a couple of days ago suspicious of my remark.” She chuckled, “he really looks out for you, I hope you know he cares.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Hak grumbled, “but yeah, that’s why he’s also my best friend.”

“Well?” Yona placed a hand on her hip in a cocky pose. “What do you think? I know I like what I see, but what about you?”

Hak snorted a laugh. An angel... who’s not a saint, huh? This woman was intriguing for sure. “Alright, angel. You’ve got my attention.”

The sound of clapping, and a slap on his back, caused Hak to spin around, swinging at the offender. But what he found instead was his green-scaled dragon roommate.

“Whoa!” Jaeha caught Hak’s fist. “I’m just here to congratulate you buddy.”

“Damn it, slanty eyes!” Hak counter punched the man in his chest. “But... thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Jaeha laughed, “now come on!” He gathered the couple one of each side of him, and pulled them towards the dance floor. “Time to celebrate my buddy’s finally got a girlfriend!”

“I swear to hell I’m gonna kill you Dragon!”

#hakyona #hakyona AU #hak son #son hak #Yona #akatsuki no yona #hak x yona #hakyona fan fic #hakyona fan fiction #angel/demon au

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #445

“you’ve got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine”

Have you ever created a fake internet persona for yourself? No. Do you enjoy going to weddings or showers? What is it that you like or dislike about them? Not... really. They're triggering for me. And I don't use "trigger" lightly. They legitimately, deeply affect me. It's part of the reason I've lost a lot of interest in being a wedding photographer. Is there a person in your life whom you support by showing up for the sports games, concerts, or other performances? This question, uh... sucks. Because I'm that awful aunt that doesn't go to her nephew's t-ball games while everyone else does. It's the heat that does it, but still... it shouldn't. How many video games do you have? A lot. We have a big case of them. Why did you take the last pill you took? My heartburn is especially awful today. Has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? A guy? A girl, uhhh... maybe? Idk. A guy, yeah. Do you think guys look good with makeup? Hell yeah. How long would you wait to become sexually active with someone you’re dating? That would just depend on how quickly we deeply bond in a relationship. I wouldn't go that far before I knew I was in love with them, though, so it definitely wouldn't be quick. Do you enjoy a good debate or prefer keeping the peace? klasd;jkla;jfklwdj I HATE confrontation, so I strongly prefer to keep that peace. Debates rarely ever stay civil, anyway. Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? One, easily. The other... I wish. But it won't ever happen because I fucked that relationship up way too much. Are you thinking about anything that’s upsetting right now? Yeah. My PTSD is being really bothersome. Would you ever want to ride in a canoe? Yeah, sounds fun and peaceful. So long as I'm not rowing, ha ha. When did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? Did you speak to them? Do you think you’ll see them again? Two days ago. Yeah, 'cuz he was my personal trainer. I don't plan on quitting the gym, so I'll probably see him around there now and again. Have you ever tasted baby food? How about pet food? Save for when I was a baby, obviously, no. I once tried a guinea pig yogurt treat, ha ha. How many times have you had your heart broken? Once romantically, twice overall. Actually, no, four. Quite a jump, I know, but Teddy and Jason's mom both dying was nothing short of heartbreaking. Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you? One, before me. I don't know about since. Find 5 people on your Facebook friends list, whose names begin with K. Who are these people, and how did you meet them? Katherine: an online friend. We met on YouTube. Kim: she's my stepmom. I met her through my dad, obviously. Kelly: a high school friend. We met in art class. Katelynn: was Jason's old friend's former girlfriend. We met through said friend when we all hung out together. Kieley: she's the wife of who I call my "big bro," a close gaming friend. We met through Sam, the aforementioned friend. Sometimes do you wish you lived in a fantasy world? Yeah, who doesn't? What would you say if the ex who hurt you the most told you they hated you? "I don't blame you" or something to that effect. Have any of your friends dated an ex/previous crush of yours? I don't think it's accurate to call her my "friend," but Jason's first girlfriend and I are friends on Facebook. I'd love to get to know her better and actually be *real* friends. One word to describe the last person you kissed? Strong. Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? You could say that. Does your hair have layers? No, not anymore. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? I don't know. Which Disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? Why? Probably Jasmine. I just think she's really pretty. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? I'm terrified to this day to start new romantic relationships. I had so many panic attacks about losing Sara when we first started dating. If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? Absolutely something Frieza-related. If you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? Probably just "oh my god, thank you" and start crying lmao. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I'm sure there's something, yeah. When was the last time you cried? Today. Do you like sausage? Yep. Ever held a newborn animal? Kittens, yes. Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Uhhhh maybe? Have you been called a bad influence? Yeah. Like she had ANY room to talk. Do you get stage fright? Yes. Would you be excited or annoyed if your favorite book was being made into a movie? Both of my favorite books are also movies, and they're wonderful. Do you need structure in your life or do you prefer to just go with the flow? I require structure, for sure. Without it, my anxiety goes rampant. Change is something I do not cope with well. Post a picture of you from one year ago. No. Have you ever written a fan letter? If so, who was it to and did you receive a response? No. What trait(s) would you not want your children to inherit from you? My mental illnesses, primarily depression. I have A LOT of reasons for not wanting kids, and my poor genetic makeup is even one of them. I don't want to pass on all the shit I deal with. What is the worst place you’ve woken up? Waking up in a shitty bed at the ER while waiting to be transferred was never one of my favorite things... Are you the type of person who has to study to make good grades or does it just come naturally to you? Aha... I was lucky in that once I heard something in school, it had a tendency to stick. I didn't need to study very much at all - usually. When on YouTube, what types of videos do you mainly watch? Mostly let's plays. What was the last conversation you had with someone about? Sara and I were kinda fangirling over how cute Maieykio and Rumours are, ha ha. Do you have any currency that’s not your native country’s? No. Can you describe your father in one word? Complex. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, I probably tend to prefer them. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? That's living, probably Gabriel Iglesias. What is your strangest phobia? Probably whale sharks. Which part of your state/province do you live in [upper,lower,middle]? I live on the eastern side. Who in your life can you count on the most? My mama. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? It depends on what I'm up for. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, I'm not a fan. Last thing you drank? Pink lemonade. Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone? Sure did. The belief was clearly mutual. But I ruined that. Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down? Sara or my mom. Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t? See: Girt. Describe the last dream you had that you can remember. It was actually... really fucked up, so the squeamish beware. I don't remember the details, just the shocking part: a little bird flew into me, and I thought it was a bug, so I crushed it in my hand. Heard and felt the bones break and it was just... ugh. It's nauseating to recall. I'm sick and tired of dreaming of only awful things. Any current family issues? Not any big ones that include everyone. The only "issue" that really exists in my family is how my mom feels like Ashley (my older sister) avoids her, and therefore Mom doesn't see the kids nearly as much as she wants. She feels very overlooked. Whose room of the opposite sex were you in last? When? Uhhh, probably my nephew's? Sometime when I visited my sister's house, idk. The last movie you watched with a friend? Elf, I think. Have you ever played with fire? Uh no, because I'm not keen on being burned. What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? Art, in some form. Who do you usually text the most? Since Sara and I started chatting mainly on Discord, definitely my mom. Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? No. Llamas or sheep? Sheep. Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No. When do you plan on moving out? Whenever I'm in a long-term, stable, happy, and healthy relationship. I really don't at all think it would be healthy for me to live on my own. What’re you going to be for Halloween? I'd actually love to dress up this year seeing as I've really been feeling the holidays, but the money to like... make a recognizable costume isn't really with us. So I'll ust answer as if I had it, in which case it would be a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale, but with fake blood splattered over my stomach region. Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? We always do for b-days. Do you like brownies? BITCH I love brownies. Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Yeah, as a kiddo. Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? Maybe, I don't know. Do you have a second mom? I have a stepmom, if that's what you mean. When a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away? Ngl, I gtfo. Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? I haven't hung out with Girt in around a year. Really need to change that. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries. What is your winter coat like? ... I actually don't know if I have one? Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I did fine. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? Interesting. Inspiring, even. Do you know how to use an ATM? ... No. :x How about write a check? uhhhhhhhhhhh... Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge, no. We don't know my dad's heritage. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? I commented on one of my sister's Facebook posts earlier. Are you interested in photography at all? Very much so. Do you own an acoustic guitar? I don't believe so? Ashley had one when she was waaaay younger, but I haven't seen it in forever. I think Dad might have it. Can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? Because you said "bickering," no. Mom knows how to pick fights on a lot of things... Who was the last person you took pictures with? My sister when she came to visit a few months ago. What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone? I'd be willing to bet it's either her and Jem or Frieza. Do you melt butter to put on your popcorn? No. We get the movie theater butter kind. Do you consider flirting cheating? Sure do. Have you ever been on probation? No. What is normally on your Christmas list (if you celebrate it)? A tattoo and meerkat stuff. Do you like KoRn? They're one of my favorites! When you were little, did you pick up worms? Do you pick worms up now? Ha, I did. I would sometimes dig just to look for them, especially if I knew Dad was going to take me fishing later that day. I don't like touching worms nowadays. Would you ever go see a stand-up comedian? Yeah, I think it would be fun. Do you have any best friends that you only know online? BEST friends, not current ones, anyway. I've met my current best friend. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight? Nope. Do you have a problem with swearing? No. What do you do when you see a spider? My reactions vary. If it's a tiny little thing, I tend to ignore it. In most cases, admittedly, I get my mom to come kill it. :x I really, really want to get on a level where I can just cup the spider and take it outside. I want a few types of spiders one day (tarantulas, jumping, and velvet), after all, so I really should get used to interacting with them. I know in my gut they're nowhere near as dangerous and scary as your head makes them seem, but it's so instilled in you (most "you"s, anyway) from a young age to stay away from spiders, so it's fighting almost like instinct. Do you have big dreams? Meh... When is your father’s birthday? Sometime in April. The 16th, I think? Maybe. Are you interested in anime? Yeah. They can have some great stories. Do you eat three meals a day? Most days. Are you part German? German and Irish make up most of my heritage, yes. Do you dream of being a porn star? Uh, I can confidently say no. Have you ever been on a farm? I have. What is your favorite type of muffin? Blueberry, I think. I like the moisture it adds to the muffin. What is the last type of salad that you ate? Just your normal one with iceberg lettuce and ranch. What do you usually put on your waffles? A layer of peanut butter and then some syrup. You NEED to try it. Would you rather have a cottage on the beach or in a forest? A forest! Name all the people that you talked to today. Online, through texts and in person. Mom and Misty are all, I think. Do you know a schizophrenic person? My half-sister. Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? If so, who is your favorite? I did. I don't think I had a favorite character. Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Sara: she's very loyal. Girt: he's funny as hell. Tyler: he, uh, cares a lot, I guess? When was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? Why is that? Yesterday, actually. I was passively suicidal just over... a lot of things. Would you ever dye your hair pink? I want pastel pink hair anyway.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''true friends'' by bring me the horizon

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

songs on taylor swift’s LOVER (2019), a concept album about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians, rated by how much they are about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians

i forgot that you existed - lmao these dummies will never be over each other. bumped a bit because it would be good on the soundtrack for the fic i still kinda want someone to write where eliot gets brainwashed by the dark king who for god’s sake is not trying to bring back to life his beloved who died because of homophobia and gets catfished by his dead brother but is just a supernatural evil despot manipulating eliot’s pain and erasing his memories of quentin only to be defeated of course by the power of true love. weak showing to start but things quickly improve. 2/10

cruel summer - this is a song about being out of your mind with horniness for someone you would rather die than admit you’ve caught feelings for, which is.... VERY queliot. love eliot watching quentin at a hotel vending machine at night and insisting to himself, “i’m not dying.” good for a non-beast AU where quentin dates alice and eliot dates some non-possessed normie boy and they both get dumped finals week and get obliteratingly drunk in the physical kids’ cottage as bros and hook up and wake up like “LOL haha rebound sex” and then it happens again and they’re like, sure, you know, why not, you’re heartbroken, i’m heartbroken, let’s help each other forget about it by fucking like rabbits, except of course by august eliot is drunk in the back of the car crying like a baby coming home from the bar because he is not fine about all the times he has told quentin it’s fine. ALTERNATELY this is actually just quentin in the mosaic timeline after they hook up and he wakes up in the morning totally ready to talk about how they’re dating now and eliot is like LET’S NOT OVERTHINK THINGS and quentin’s like, haha yeah ok! and they keep having mindblowing outdoor sex but like as bros and quentin regrets every waking moment agreeing to pretend not to overthink things with his best friend who is amazing in bed and who also he is definitely falling in love with. “breakable heaven” is a good description of the mosaic timeline, because many pieces and because it broke by never happening. bonus point because “i love you, ain’t that the worse thing you ever heard?” is SO eliot and also SO quentin in related but distinct ways. 8/10

lover - UGH!!!! SO QUELIOT!!!! “have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years” vs. “i bond fast, time is an illusion.” “can i go where you go” for two people who have been thrown together and torn apart so many times is wildly romantic. “my heart’s been borrowed and your heart’s been blue” = i dated a possessed guy and then became a possessed guy and you are chronically depressed. “you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me” is all about eliot’s smirks. i ALREADY have feelings about taylor swift, a human being who spent most of her adult life ruled by the lingering wounds of having been uncool in eighth grade, putting in her big sweet love song the line, “and at every table i’ll save you a seat,” but i have SO MANY MORE feelings when i apply that to quentin coldwater, who ate lunch in the bathroom on days that julia was absent because of the horror of finding somewhere to sit in the high school cafeteria. 9/10

the man - margo says she hates this song because it’s white feminism but whenever she gets drunk at karaoke she makes quentin sing it with her. he always flips his hair on “i’d be just like leo in st tropez,” because he is the only other person besides taylor swift in america uncool enough to think that’s still a reference that conjures up associations of a sexy awesome playboy. 3/10

the archer - FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is... ok. ok. i’m calm. this is the eliot song of all time. “i’m ready for combat / i say i don’t want that / but what if i do” is about eliot’s reactivity and his fear that on some level he wants to blow everything up more than he wants to be loved. we don’t know what started the fight we see in the mosaic timeline but what we glimpse is very “cruelty wins in the movies”: this impulse to win by pushing the other person away to avoid your own vulnerability. “i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you” is eliot unpossessed after quentin is alive but before he and alice have broken up thinking about all the apologetic true love confessions he made charlton watch him rehearse. “i search for your dark side / but what if i’m alright right right right here” is about refusing to believe in good things because they are so threatening when your formative experiences of love and family were so unsafe. “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years” is, quite literally, just the exact plot of 4x05. “i wake in the night / i pace like a ghost / the room is on fire / invisible smoke” is more A+ abandonment issues content, and i can’t even TALK about “all of my heroes die all alone” in the context of eliot waugh who FULLY has on MANY occasions raised a toast to living fast dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse and has never himself been wholly sure exactly how much he was kidding. “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men / couldn’t put me together again / cuz all of my enemies started out friends” is first of all a very funny thing for a former high king of fillory to say, and second upsetting because MOSAIC, PIECES, MINOR MENDINGS, ELIOT SEES HIMSELF AS A BROKEN THING, and third devastating because of how much of the Trauma Chalkboard involves times eliot has betrayed other people. ok FINE we can start talking about the refrains now, even though they CAUSE ME THE MOST PAIN. “help me hold on to you” is the subtext of every post-4x13 queliot fic for the very good reason that it’s the most vulnerable and beautiful and real thing eliot could ever say. “i’ve been the archer / i’ve been the prey” is again about eliot as a person full of regret for all the ways he has lashed out in his life against people other than the ones who wounded him so deeply. “screaming who could ever leave me darling / but who could stay” is sooooo eliot, with the drama and affect of it all (“darling!”), and the performed belief in his own excellence combined with his deep insecurity. “they see right through me” is about how he’s secretly afraid everyone can smell on him that he grew up on a farm in indiana, “can you see right through me” is about both fearing and hoping that quentin will see all of him, “i see right through me” is about how hard he’s lied to himself about wanting love. the best song in the world probably. 20/10.

i think he knows - my favorite thing about adult taylor swift referencing anything about adolescence is that taylor swift had a totally deranged abnormal adolescence because she spent the whole thing first trying to be famous and then actually being outrageously famous. so i love it when she says “it’s like i’m 17 nobody understands,” because when she was actually 17 she was dating a jonas brother for like 3 months and then writing break-up songs that made it sound like she was never that into it, so it’s like this idea of being 17 and hormonal in some kind of normal context where you actually are thinking about sex all day instead of meeting with your branding team. this is a fun idea to extrapolate to eliot & quentin, who were both miserable at 17 and never got the experience of devoting your brain full-time to all-consuming horniness for the first person to ever give you an orgasm, but who can now experience that with each other. also “his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a queliot line because of my very strong personal headcanon that eliot is obsessed with quentin’s hands. 6/10

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - see above re: tswift & teenhood. "when i was 16 / lost in a film scene” is even better because actual teen taylor swift spent many hours of her life literally acting out on film these like pathologically normative high school scenarios that she never lived because she dropped out after ninth grade, and because this song is all about like, image vs reality but is also itself a fantasy? fucked up and weird, i love it. taylor swift spent so many years portraying her specific teen shame as being about her deep dweebery and i think it’s really funny that in this song she is still an outcast but now it is because she is like, too sexy and misbehaving, both through the line “they whisper in the hallways she’s a bad bad girl” and by setting it to basically a lana del rey track. i feel like this is a very eliot move, to rewrite your own history of exclusion as more glamorous and flattering than it was, to portray yourself as like this debauched rebel instead of a sad gay kid in a homophobic environment. eliot obviously was never enamored with this kind of stock teen americana imagery the way taylor was, but i think he has that same tension of deeply resenting one image while being very drawn to another one. extra point because “heartbreak prince” is such a hilarious and amazing way to describe quentin. 7/10

paper rings - good song for a very chill no-beast AU. “i like fancy things but i’d marry you with paper rings” is very eliot. it’s cute to imagine eliot reading all of the books besides quentin’s bed not because he likes them but because he wants to get to know quentin better. “i want your dreary mondays” is a nice thing for either of these dudes to hear. 5/10

cornelia street - all songs about being overwhelmed and terrified by love are about eliot waugh!!!!! especially songs where someone does something casually that is clearly not casual at all. it rules that both of the key metaphors in the verses are extremely quentin images: fresh page on the desk / card sharks playing games. stories and magic! thinking about eliot and quentin barefoot in a kitchen together makes me want to cry, for normal reasons. 8/10

death by a thousand cuts - i have to be honest, for a long time i thought it sucked that the best song on this album was actually not about queliot, but then i saw the light and realized that this is a song about how totally incomprehensible it is that you’re supposed to just move on with your life when someone you loved absolutely is no longer yours, so ACTUALLY, this song is totally about quentin after the mosaic! “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know.” trying to be normal while secretly dying inside. “i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up / chandelier’s still flickering here” = i said it was chill when you compartmentalized our 50 years as soulmates as something that happened to other people but actually the me i am right now wants you real bad! “what once was ours is no one’s now” because it happened in an alternate timeline that never existed. “you said it was a great love / one for the ages / but if the story’s over / why am i still writing pages” = you said it was kind of beautiful but also that wasn’t really me but if so then why do i want to bone you so bad. gets even more fucked up if you extend it properly into season 4. MY HEART MY HIPS MY BODY MY LOVE / TRYING TO FIND A PART OF ME THAT YOU DIDN’T TOUCH: a line i can only ever type in all-caps and about which i can say nothing because it is perfect. “gave up on me like i was a bad drug” is also very quentin reflecting bitterly on eliot. saying goodbye to your possessed ex is death by a thousand cuts because that’s how many times the monster sockpuppeting his body is going to randomly show up in your apartment covered in blood. the morning comes and you’re not my baby, because you have been possessed. flashbacks waking me up because i have PTSD now from watching your body murder like 80 people.  8/10

london boy - lmao. no 0/10

soon you’ll get better - I Feel Weird Jokingly Assigning A Rating To Taylor Swift’s Very Sad Song About How Taylor Swift’s Actual Mom Has Actual Cancer Based On How Much It Relates To A Fictional Couple In Which One Person Has A Parent Who Dies Of Cancer So I’m Going To Rate This Not Applicable. N/A. great song tho

false god - jesus, does she really go london boy / soon you’ll get better / false god? her sequencing is so deranged. anyway i know i was JUST talking about my interest in fic where quentin and eliot get together but don’t necessarily talk out every single one of their 800 issues in the timespan covered by the story, but this song about make-up sex is still not very queliot to me, possibly because i cannot get past the dorkiness of taylor swift calling herself new york city. “you can't talk to me when I'm like this / daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you” is pretty good though. “if you want to live your life live it here...” damn eliot waugh and taylor swift really are like the same person on the level of psychological architecture. i know i keep saying it but it keeps freaking me out. 4/10

you should calm down - eliot unfollowed jonathan van ness on twitter after the video for this came out. he unfollowed antoni too but then refollowed him because he’s hot.  -1000000/10.

afterglow - so THIS song about fighting actually DOES have very queliot vibes. and it’s funny, because i keep talking about eliot’s fear of lashing out and hurtfully pushing away people he loves, and i think he does have that impulse (”if you want to live your life live it here...” what did you MEAN eliot), and i also think he’s SUPER afraid of that within himself, partly because of how the dynamics of his childhood make anger and conflict really fraught for him... but actually the character we more often see being a huge dick because of his own issues is, in fact, quentin, and that is who this song about. we all know i am obsessed with the scene where quentin comes sheepishly back to alice apologizing for being an asshole because it’s so vulnerable and honest and such a powerful moment of growth for him... as robbed as i feel of like tearfully joyful queliot reunions i also feel robbed that we never got to see quentin and eliot have a moment like that together! 7/10

me! - absolutely not. -30/10

it’s nice to have a friend - i like this song but the way taylor talks about it always makes me kind of sad, because she draws this equivalence between being excited about a friend as a kid and being excited about romance as an adult that really does make it sound like she thinks in adulthood romance takes over a place that friendship used to occupy, instead of co-existing with it... but she’s also talked a lot about the importance of finding who her real friends are so idk maybe i’m being too hard on her and also oversensitive because of certain plot developments. “call my bluff / call you babe” is cute. card sharks! pet names! 5/10

daylight - R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE QUELIOT ANTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! two people who have been hurt and hurt others, who have spent a long time running away from their own hearts, who have been confused about what they want... “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air i breathed in the smoke” about every mistake and regret and fuck-up... “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down / maybe i’ve stormed out of every single room in this town”... the trauma chalkboard, the fight outside the hedge bar... the people you become to try to erase the person you’re afraid you are... and then! “throw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now / it’s brighter now”... to find peace in the person you never need to hide yourself from... the transformative power of letting yourself be seen... “i can still see it all in my mind / all of you all of me intertwined”... i can still remember this other life that never happened which matters not because it’s where i fell in love with you but because it’s where i revealed my whole self and learned that whole self could be loved.... and of course above all most crucially, “i once believed love would be burning red / but it’s golden / like daylight”... the very beautiful story the magicians accidentally almost told was a story about letting go of the narratives you’ve been taught to want and realizing that as much as real life and hard and scary it is also lovelier than any of those wan old stories... “i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things that i hate, or the things that i’m afraid of”... please!!!!!!! 100000000000000/10

#the magicians #queliot #we're doing. great. just. just having fun normal times qreating quarantine qontent #no readmores we alienate our followers like men #if u can't handle me at my Completely Fucking Losing My Entire Mind About Something Fully Unhinged #this is not the blog for u my friend

[honeylikewords]

Talk to me about tros!!!! I need to know about Poe!!

Okay, I’m finally sitting down to answer this anon, and a few things before I start!

1. Most of what I’m going to say will really only make sense if you go see The Rise of Skywalker yourself. While it’s far from a perfect movie, it’d take way too long for me to try and transcribe everything that happens in the film, and the context and nuance of certain scenes. So, yeah, while it’s not a good movie, if you’re invested in seeing how the movies have played out, you should probably go see it yourself.

2. I have some... mixed feelings about the movie. I also know that what I don’t like, I can choose to ignore; despite the disappointments of the series, I don’t have to take Rian or JJ’s bullshit as MY canon. I get to decide what I do and don’t adhere to as canon. Everyone else has their own varying scales of how they respond to canon-- some are super adherent to canon, some don’t care about anything at all-- and that’s fine. So although I have beef with how all this unfolded, I also know that I can take my love that I have for the characters (and all the potential that The Force Awakens had) and carry that on through my own interpretations, re-writes, et cetera, and I can choose to ignore the poor decisionmaking on the parts of Disney and Rian/JJ/who-the-fuck-ever. 

3. This ask is very open-ended, so I’m going to have to put some parameters down for myself because otherwise I’d get too overwhelmed with the breadth of information I’d need to present about TRoS. A comprehensive review would be really hard to write out, so I’ll just list some initial impressions (I haven’t been able to see it a second time, but likely will in the near future), and some of the relevant Poe-related issues in the films. If you wanna know more, feel free to send in more specific questions (specificity can help, because with my neurotype, I can easily be overwhelmed by large, “general” questions, and getting more granular can help me rein in and focus on a specific idea)!

4. Also, this post isn’t going to be friendly to R*ylo or people who straightwash Poe/are only interested in him as a straight guy. R*ylo is fucking gross, and I’m gonna rip it apart in this post, and Poe isn’t straight. I try not to be too aggressive on here (I’m generally not very aggressive at all!), but the fandom is just so toxic and vile at times that I feel like I need to put my foot down on these topics and say a firm “no” to R*ylos and Poe straightwashers. Oh, and I’ll be talking about the racism in the movie, as well as in the fandom, so buckle up for that, too. So consider this the “bigots begone!” spell as I wave my wand and attempt to shoo them all away!

Anyway...

From here down are spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. If you’re interested in seeing the movie spoiler-free, please scoot waaaaay past this post! Last warning!

And, with that out of the way, here we go!

Alright, here’s a list of stuff as it occurs to me. I’m almost overwhelmed with information, so it’s hard to condense my thoughts, but I’ll try my best!

1. The whole Zorri thing was a fucking nightmare, but not as bad as it could have been. It was really bad, believe me, but, like, it can be ignored easily (though if you’re anything like me, it’ll still leave a sour taste in your mouth). Like I predicted, Zorri was introduced to straightwash Poe and effectively quash any queer interpretations of his character and relationship with Finn. 

But, like, Poe and Zorri had no chemistry. It was almost embarrassing; they were clearly trying to work the “badass woman” angle, but, eh, she was just, basically, a minor blip on the radar; incredibly boring, incredibly useless, and just, like, a “sexy lamp” that could easily have been replaced. She added literally nothing to the film and was blatantly just an insert to try and prevent people from being able to make the case for a queer Poe. But, too bad, Disney! Poe is pansexual, dumbasses!

Oh, and while I’m on the topic of Poe’s queerness, I should add that I’m not really a big FinnPoe, myself; when it got big after the release of The Force Awakens, if felt like just another creepy Tumblr fetishization of male relationships, so that really set the tone for how I’d see it in the coming years. It’s grievously oversexualized on this site, but I also respect that, for many actually queer fans, the ship represents seeing themselves in Star Wars, and I do totally see their bond as canon. I completely acknowledge that Oscar wanted to represent the queer fans who wanted his character to be queer, and in that way, FinnPoe is definitely canon in some form! 

So, I do have a complex relationship with FinnPoe, in that it’s not my personal favorite ship (I vastly prefer FinnRey, since I never really felt that Finn and Poe had a romantic tension, but felt that Finn and Rey did), but I do respect the importance of it for queer fans and for trying to push at the limitations a major series like Star Wars has had for so long. Star Wars has been dominated as a straight, cishet, white man’s fandom; it’s time other people got a chance to love it and see themselves in this vast universe, too.

The cast also seems to be leaning into FinnPoe as a form of protest against censorship and homophobia in the fandoms and film world. They’re using their positions as major film stars to push back and say “hey, queer folks belong here, too”, and that’s so great!

But, anyway, the point is, Zorri sucked, and Poe’s not straight. He’s certainly capable of being attracted to women, but he’s not a straight dude, because he’s equally capable of being attracted to men and nonbinary people as well. 

Thankfully, Zorri and Poe never actually form a relationship in TRoS. He jokes about asking for a kiss, she tells him to go, and then he, at the end, sort of motions his head as if to say “wanna go kiss?” and she, again, tells him no, which he shrugs off. It’s pretty shitty, but easy to ignore.

Anyway, Poe is pan, Finn is pan, Lando is pan, Luke Skywalker is gay and nonbinary, Rey is nonbinary and probably ace, maybe interested in girls, I’m still ironing my hcs for her out, and no one can stop me! Go ahead and try to kill me, Disney (and homophobic Star Wars fans); if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

2. Poe’s “backstory” is such a fucking trainwreck. They basically tried to nix a bunch of what was already canonically established in order to, get this, make Poe a drug dealer. 

It’s a little more complex-- the idea is that Poe was a pilot for a group of pirates for about six years, from the age of 16 until he was 22-ish, and ran Spice, the drug in Star Wars-- but it’s also not. It’s really bad. 

Way to take a canonically noble, hardworking, Latino character and reduce him to the most shitty, racist stereotype imaginable. I’ve already complained about him not needing a “dark” past, but this? This is somehow worse than him being, like, a bounty hunter, because it carries political implications and is just such a stock, trash stereotype that we don’t need in this world or in our fantasies. It’s ridiculous, and I refuse to acknowledge it.

Worse yet, it’s said that Poe “ran away from home” to join the pirates to “avoid responsibility” at age 16... dude, Poe has been shown in EVERY PRIOR CANONICAL APPEARANCE TO CRAVE NOTHING BUT RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he’s a hothead, but he’s responsible! He wants to labor and take on caring for others because he’s a hardworking, compassionate, headstrong man! Ugh!

I could go off forever about this, but I’m already feeling myself grinding my teeth, and for the sake of my blood pressure and psychological wellbeing I’m not going to make myself go feral over it right now. Deep breaths, K, deep breaths...

3. In things I did like: Poe got promoted to general, and he made Finn a general alongside him. He really grew into his position, and I’m so proud to see him as General Dameron of the Resistance. He deserves it. 

4. Poe and Finn had SO many good scenes and such great chemistry. I loved seeing them bounce off each other, and their relationship made me laugh and smile and feel warm, even as everything else was falling apart. I love my boys!

5. Poe gets grossed out by bones. Canon. Love a squeamish king.

6. Oh, ugh, I just remembered that they tried to frame Poe and Rey as having an aggressive relationship with each other and I rolled my eyes. How dumb can they be? Ugh. I don’t even have the energy to try and unpack how ridiculous all that is. More deep breaths...

7. In terms of the worst thing to happen in the movie... R*ylo, like, gets shoehorned in. Honestly, looking back at all the predictions I made a few months back, I’m entirely right; everything I predicted came to pass. This included.

It was shitty and bad and nearly all the cast has spoken out against it now that their contracts with Disney aren’t as binding, and seeing it happen on the big screen was just... oh my god, it was horrifying.

It really was.

But thankfully, Kylo died, so the ship can’t really continue! Yeehaw!

8. I actually did like parts of the ending. I’ll talk about that more if anyone asks more specific questions, but right now, I’m kinda burning out because of the wide net this ask casts, so I’ll have to defer for the moment.

At any rate, it all happened exactly the way I thought it would, bleh. Like, so much shit in the movie went down exactly the way my TRoS predictions post said, it’s almost scary. 

Honestly, though, just running through all this is exhausting me; I really can’t make myself go through it all in this particular format. So, I’ll just leave this here as it is, and if anyone has any specific questions-- what I thought of specific moments, characters, scenes, etc-- send an ask! But this is all just really wide and general and burning my brain out to try and process it all again, so more specificity in future asks might help me stay more on track and not get overwhelmed trying to explain every single thing all at once. 

I have tons and tons of thoughts about it, ranging from what I loved to what I’d have done different about the whole series, but I just don’t have the psychological wherewithal to make myself write everything out in one giant, dense, indecipherable post: it’s just all too much, so I’d need to break it down into smaller, more specific questions.

This probably isn’t a super-satisfying answer, but feel free to just send specific asks and I’ll answer them, no matter how many! It just helps to have a specific line of thought to follow, so feel free to ask about each individual thing and I’ll try to answer!

Thanks!

#messages #anonymous #gif warning #rise of skywalker spoilers #star wars spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #ros spoilers #tros spoilers #spoilers #sorry i kinda burned out midway through this but i could feel myself getting a tension headache just listing off all the shit i hated and li #like there IS stuff i liked about the movie there's also just so much nonsense garbage that happened and i just. im just #i need more specific questions to help me limit myself from ranting about EVERYTHING and going nowhere #so if you want to know more PLEASE send some asks about specific things #(it's just for the sake of my brain health and helping me stay focused aaa)

[citiesmayoverflow]

uGH sorry for such a bizarre way to communicate this message lmao

for most of my life i kinda thought i was aromantic. i'd never felt anything like love, and any time someone showed romantic feelings for me i was straight up repulsed by the idea. i wasn't against sex specifically-- sometimes it was fun, but generally i needed to be drunk to get over my aversion to the chance that something awkward would happen and i'd have to deal with that. very occasionally i worked myself up into having a crush on someone, because i desperately WANTED to feel a romantic connection, but in retrospect i only had crushes on people who were emotionally distant (and therefore safe to "want"). whenever someone started to reciprocate feelings for me i... quickly lost interest. after i had sex with someone i invariably felt awkward around them and did not want to interact with them anymore. by the time i was 23 i was just... exhausted. i was tired of trying to force myself to feel something. i'd been on SO many okcupid dates under the misguided assumption that i just needed to try meeting lots of different people and eventually "something" would happen. i was sad that i'd never experienced love, and frankly really lonely, but all evidence pointed to it being not possible for me. it just wasn’t in the cards. it seemed like it was important that i accepted that fact and stopped kidding myself with fantasies that it would be different someday. because it wouldn't be different. i could *want* to want someone all i wanted, but that still didn't make anything different.

 ...and then i met someone and it was different. i don't know why. she was someone i met online and we clicked right away and we were just very very good friends, until suddenly i realized i felt something stronger than friendship for her, and also i fucking hated her boyfriend because she deserved a relationship she actually cared about. i was jealous!!! i had never in my life felt romantically possessive about someone else and it was weird and disturbing and i wanted it all to stop. i didn't want to break her and her boyfriend up, especially because dating me was clearly a dead end--i wasn't capable of feeling love, obviously, and i didn't want to suddenly change my mind and ruin her life if she dumped him for me. i was so distressed by it all that i told her that i couldn't talk to her for a while because i needed some space-- which was really upsetting to her because she also had feelings for me (which she'd been aware of for a while) and didn't want to lose me. so then i explained what was going on and why i was so upset. she was extremely confused because i'd confided in her that i was aromantic a while back and she had no reason to think anything had changed, and anyway it was all very turbulent and shitty for a while but eventually she broke up with her boyfriend and we started dating and things kind of settled down.

and the thing that shocked me most when everything DID settle down was how comfortable i felt with her. like, i wanted her to want me? and to have romantic feelings for me? and it didn't freak me out? and i wasn't scared? and when we hung out in real life, i wasn't repulsed by the idea that she might want to touch me or be vulnerable around me or look into my eyes or... or any of it. it was weird, but not bad. i kept telling her how weird it was, and she did not really get it but she listened to me talk about it anyway. it was just that the very concept of feeling romantic love was so alien to me that it took many many months for me to accept how i was feeling. i still sometimes feel strange about it a year later. like, why did it happen? and how??? and WHY???

i honestly cannot tell you why it was different with her, except it just was. logically i think that i am probably demi-romantic, and we clicked as friends and once i got to know her well enough that i trusted her, i felt safe enough for a romantic bond to form... but. i don't know. i just don’t know. maybe even the fact that she was dating someone else made it easier (because i didn't have to question What Was Happening and What We Were and did she expect something of me that i couldn’t give her... etc.) i sometimes think i’m a lesbian and the reason it was so hard when i tried to date people before was i was mostly trying to date men. but i did try to date women a little and i think i am equally attracted to men and women’s bodies so. i don’t know. it’s just unclear. i still don’t know what my sexuality is but i guess knowing what it is doesn’t really matter. whatever it is is what it is.

anyway. i guess my point in telling you all this is that-- i think it is very painful to hope to feel love when you're not sure if you ever will, and the thing that makes the most sense logically is to close yourself off from that hope and let it shrivel and die so you'll never be a fool for wishing for something that won't happen. but i don’t think it was very kind when i treated myself like that, and it hurt me a lot when i tried to force my feelings to shrivel up and die!! obviously, you might not fall in love someday. that's true for any person. but i think closing yourself off from that hope and telling yourself it's completely impossible is equally painful sometimes. the truth is that none of us can tell the future. i started dating my girlfriend a year ago and i met her about a year and a half ago. if you'd told me in july 2016, when i'd just turned 23, that within a year i would be moving to a new state for a relationship i would have laughed in your face. but i would have also felt a deep, secret thrill that i never would have admitted to anyone. the deep, secret part of me would have said, it's possible for me? it could happen? i could want that? i could, i could? it just seemed so impossible! i'd tried so hard and nothing had ever worked! i knew i wasn’t old, but i still felt profoundly old to never have fallen in love well into my 20s. everyone i knew had been in love three or four or five or six times!! obviously something was different about them, because they found love so easily and i had never gotten close.

it still seems unfair to me that it happened when i wasn't trying, just by surprise. i am still pretty sure that if my current relationship doesn't work out that i probably won't be able to fall in love again (though my girlfriend disagrees; but how can she know! she’s not like me! she’s been in love many times!!). to me, it was a miracle that it even happened once, so it doesn’t seem like it could ever happen again. but i also can't tell the future, and it's not fair to tell myself i can. if i ever do end up single again, the one thing i hope i can avoid is the endless cycle of sadness and fear and shame that made me believe i could tell the future and it was clearly never going to give me what i wanted (and moreover i was foolish for even wanting it). 

i don't know if you feel any connection to what i went through--maybe you’re experiencing something completely different? but i guess i just wanted to say: i felt profoundly isolated for a long time because of my inability to connect to someone romantically. it was my worst sadness and my deepest regret. it hurt a lot. i hope you don’t feel the ways i did, but if you do at all—you aren’t as isolated as you feel. and you’re not foolish for feeling sad or wishing it might be different someday. because, yes, it might not ever be different! but it’s equally true that it might be different, if it being different is something you truly, secretly want. the world is mysterious and emotions are weird. idk if this message brings you any comfort, but i hope it does. :/ <3?

[gilberthampton]

OC memes from vent

im in class idc 🎆 40 too specific 🎆 fictionkin questions created by @.nyasori 🌙 Your kin of choice: 🔥nia rosewell 🔥 Turned OC meme and im sorry 🌙 1. If you could punch one person from your canon in the face right now, who would it be? JAHHJSJND her older brother 🌙 2. Do you like your hairstyle from your canon or would you rather have a different one? permanently unsatisfied w her hair but never changes it till post cain drama and then she goes full out, gets a magical girl bun cut, dyes her hair pink n loves it. basically an Important Haircut bc she's done being stuck in the past 🌙 3. If you had to prepare a lunchbox for your kintype, what would be in it? Lunchbox - homemade but somehow perfect anyway, everything is in it, packed till it's full, lots of sweets and snacks 🌙 4. If your kintype would be an animal, which one would they be? hummingbird. or wait, a bunny 🌙 5. Your kintype suddenly rules a kingdom. What is the first thing they would do? she's dreamed about being a princess but has no idea how to actually run a kingdom so.. enjoy the good life, proceed to freak out when pressured to make heavy choices 🌙 6. Who's your kintype's best friend? Why? alice n mina n nia r Squad 🌙 7. What's your least favourite ship involving your kintype? Why? the person she hates the most is.. odin 🌙 8. What was the very first memory you've gotten from your canon? 🌙 9. What do people think of the media you're from? Is it popular or obscure? 🌙 10. What was your kintypes relationship with their parents/guardians? she loves them dearly but probably subconsciously pushes all the blame on them bc they didn't do a very good job stopping odin from hitting her when she was younger 🌙 11. What would your kintypes Myers-Briggs personality type be? INFP 🌙 12. Someone insults your kintype badly. How do they react? she criesssssssss and cries and gets all self conscious and her instinct is to go to other people so they can pity her and make her feel better. gets all shy around the person afterwards. if she thinks about it too long she starts crying again 🌙 13. If/When they were in school, how good were they? Would they be a nerdy outsider, a social butterfly or something different? a friendly but fragile classmate. that one girl who always wears frilly dresses. probably cries at least once a day, easily excited but just as easily upset, mediocre with grades. 🌙 14. If your kintype was in a classic RPG, what would their class be? ranger / long distance 🌙 15. What is the most obscure or funny memory you have as them? 🌙 16. You suddenly switch roles with your kintype. How well would they handle your life? she'd miss her friends but she's kind of easy to get along with! so like, normal. probably would not like my parents at all 🌙 17. If someone tried to hit on your kintype, what would they have to say to make their heart melt? just compliment her -- anything 🌙 18. Does your kintype have any strange hidden talent that wasn't mentioned officially? she's double jointed ? 🌙 19. How would your kintype react to someone confessing their love to them? blushy, nervous, flattered, so happy she could cry, 100% ready to kiss even if she doesn't reciprocate. If she likes someone else, though, she'll inevitably turn u down. (Looking for that perfect manga romance) 🌙 20. If you could ask the creator of your canon's media one question, which would it be? get a life? 🌙 21. What is the most obscure ship you've ever seen your kintype in? 🌙 22. What is your kintype's zodiac sign? Does it fit? ill figure out their birthdays sometime, okay 🌙 23. If they had an elemental alignment (fire, air, water, earth), which one would it be? water 🌙 24. Your kintype and their best friend get stranded on a lonely island. What would they do? FREAK OUT and probably be a useless baby bc her friends r too nice to tell her to stop whining 🌙 25. Has your kintype experienced any trauma? If yes, did it affect their personality? in her childhood. odin didn't really understand other people's point of view, and he would grow harsher and harsher with his younger sister bc he couldn't fathom _why_ she would be so upset about things, and he would get furious. oh yeah. has a lot of unresolved anxiety and memory issues, scared to death of her brother, whatever 🌙 26. Do you share any physical traits with your kintype? ugh... Nah? 🌙 27. Who's your kintypes biggest enemy? Why? 🌙 28. Does your kintype do any morally questionable things? How do they justify it? she gets too caught up in things and gets kind of stalkery-ish, guilt trippy and passive aggressive without realizing it. her defense is that she doesn't do it on purpose, which is true, but it doesn't excuse her from it. 🌙 29. If your kintype was at a party, what would they do? start messing around with her friends. or shyly look around for her crush the whole night. if she doesn't know anyone, she's mostly in the bg, but being around people she's comfortable with influences her into a louder state 🌙 30. What is the favourite season of your kintype? spring 🌙 31. What does the name of your kintype mean? Where is it from? "Nia is a feminine given name with multiple origins. It is a Welsh variant of Niamh, an Irishname meaning 'bright.' It is also a Swahili Name meaning 'will.'" Basically i just chose it from a list bc it sounds nice. though it _is_ her nickname? 🌙 32. What did your kintype do if they were sad, exhausted or angry? 🌙 33. If your kintype would have a pokemon type, which one(s) would it be? grass fairy 🌙 34. Were they in a romantic relationship with someone? What did other people think of it? she was crushing hard on cain and (unnamed) for the longest time, but cain fucked her up pretty badly. gets a crush on milo and they start dating after a VERY LONG TIME. their friends find it cute and they're like, took u long enough!!! outsiders find it weird bc they're so different in personality?? 🌙 35. How quick were they able to form bonds? Why? probably really quickly bc she's friendly and chipper and ^____^ 24/7, but i feel like she also gets on people's nerves. so True friendships, eh, casual school friendships, lots 🌙 36. Does the fandom ever misinterpret your kintypes? 🌙 37. Do your canon and the official canon match up? If not, what are the differences? 🌙 38. Did your kintype ever feel guilty about something they did? Why? i think she blabs too much and is too loud and not considerate enough of other people -- which can irritate and hurt them. she definitely feels some regret for that 🌙 39. In what ways do you act like or relate to your kintype? we're both sensitive and cries, we love cute shit, uhhhhcffggh i don't know i put a little bit of me into every oc 🌙 40. Finally - tell us a fun fact about your kintype that not many people know! she's obsessed w anime shit Tagging: YOU i think i did this meme for Alice already ┌··┤ oc survey ├··┐ ┗• made by @jem •┛ do not _edit_ or _remove_ the credit please ! fill out this survey for your original characters using this symbol ( ● ) to indicate what applies and specify if you wish ! http://name : mina discofever http://age : 16 http://birthdate : 2/14/01 http://height : 5'6 http://gender ○ male ● female ○ other: ________ http://sexuality ○ gay ○ lesbian ● bisexual ○ pansexual ○ aromantic/asexual ○ other: _______ THERE'S NO HET OPTION DNDNNFNDNF http://hairstyle ○ short ○ pixie ○ bob ○ shoulder-length ○ elbow-length ● hip length or + ○ other : _______ http://hair http://texture ● straight ● wavy ○ curled ○ very curled ○ other: _______ http://eye http://colour ○ brown ○ hazel ○ blue ○ green ○ gray ● other : pink http://body http://type ○ muscular ○ toned ● average ○ scrawny ● curvy ○ overweight ○ other : _______ http://skin http://tone ○ pale ● fair ○ golden ○ tan ○ dark ○ other : _______ http://markings ● scars ○ tattoos ○ piercings ○ beauty marks ○ other : _______ http://posture ● upright ○ neutral ○ slouched http://face http://shape ○ round ○ oval ● heart ○ square ○ long ○ other : _______ http://direct http://family ● mother(s) ● father(s) ● brother(s) ○ sister(s) ○ son(s) ○ daughter(s) ○ other : _______ http://strong http://point ○ brute force ○ agility ● stamina ○ intelligence ● wisdom ● charm http://weak http://point ○ brute force ● agility ○ stamina ● intelligence like she's not DUMB she's just bad at school ○ wisdom ○ charm http://perceptiveness ○ oblivious ○ dull ○ average ● sharp ○ mind-reader http://speech ○ vulgar ● basic ● average ○ polite ○ educated ○ pretentious ○ other : _______ http://education http://level ○ less than high school ● high school ○ college ○ masters ○ PhD ○ other : _______ http://moral http://code ○ self-interest ● universal law ○ religious ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://environment ● big city ○ small town ○ suburbs ○ arid desert ● woods or rainforest ● mountains ● open fields ● beach ○ the confines of hell ○ other : _______ http://residence ○ dorms ○ city house ● suburban house ○ mansion or manor ○ trailer ○ farmhouse ○ other : _______ http://housemates ● family member(s) ● friend(s) ○ landlord/lady ○ none ○ other : _______ http://mode http://of http://transport ● public transport ○ taxi ● motorcycle or scooter ○ car ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://drink ○ water ○ alcohol ● natural juice ○ coffee or tea ○ carbonated drinks ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://food ● sweets ○ meats ● fruits ○ vegetables ○ carbohydrates ○ other : _______ http://social http://class ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://affection http://for http://others ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://social http://interaction ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://favourite http://genre ○ comedy ● romance ● thriller or horror ● mystery ○ science fiction or fantasy ○ contemporary ○ historical ○ literary ● action or adventure ○ drama or tragedy ○ other : _______ http://criminal http://record ● underage drinking ○ drunk driving ○ assault or arson ○ manslaughter ○ murder or attempted murder OKAY SHE'S NOT A MURDERER BUT TOTALLY IN ANOTHER AU ○ protest or activism ○ false accusations ○ _nothing they can prove_ ○ other : _______ http://learning http://style ○ nature ○ music ○ numbers ○ people ○ self ○ picture ○ language ○ body i don't know what this means http://deadly http://sin ○ pride ○ wrath ○ gluttony ○ greed ● envy ○ sloth ○ lust http://heavenly http://virtue ○ humility ○ patience ○ temperance ○ charity ● kindness ○ diligence ○ chastity http://self http://discipline ○ what is that ○ no ○ when it suits them ● decent ○ intense http://creativity ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ ○ low high Will's more of a thinker so she leaves it to him http://cleanliness ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://usual http://outfit ○ formal ● casual ○ lazy ● sporty ○ other : _______ http://likeability ○ non-existent ○ when they attempt ○ pretty okay ● cool person(tm) ○ god-like http://luck ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ low middle high http://common http://fears ○ spiders or insects ○ wild animals ○ darkness ● death ● ridicule ● abandonment ○ other : how enjoyable was this survey ? ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● bad good 🐌🐌🐌 ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: MYSELF ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ milo zersuit. his last name is just so bad and i tried to make a samus reference but it's just so bad • canon of said kin/id • ↳ merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ I... THEY'RE ALL STRAGIHTH HORRIBLE BOYS • age of said kin/id • ↳ 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎹 • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ 😴💤🥀🌿🌌🌃⚓⌚🌒🌚☔🎑🏒⚙️ • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ he hates everyone but nia. probably is somewhat amused by prince • favorite places in your canon • ↳ • your kin/id's aesthetic • ↳ blue, blinding lights that seem so bright as night swirls around you; the breath of a sunset and the melancholy that follows with it; glow aesthetic street signs; gas stations at 2 am; unopened cigarettes and broken promises and the cold hand of someone you once loved in yours in the dead of winter; winter but no snow; winter but no glory... • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ do i wanna know - artic monkeys • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ all shades of blue, a never pure white • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ he cherishes his hoodies • favorite memory • ↳ • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ coke • dog person or cat person • ↳ cat • pop music or rock music • ↳ neither, but probably rock • morning or evening person • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ savory • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ stay at home man.. • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introvert • wine or beer • ↳ he doesn't drink, but would probably like wine • super strength or super speed • ↳ s.....peed • always bored or always tired • ↳ oh my god both. mostly tired • chocolate or lollipops • ↳ chocolate • pulp or no pulp • ↳ he is a straight up pulp hater • video games or board games • ↳ vidya games • sneakers or flip flops • ↳ sneakers • snapbacks or baseball caps • ↳ ugh, I dunno • black or white • ↳ white • mountains or beaches • ↳ mountains • pasta or rice • ↳ rice • sports cars or trucks • ↳ he doesn't really care for cars but probably sports? • piano or guitar • ↳ PIANO , that's like his only talent • hot weather or cold weather • ↳ cold • laid back or strict • ↳ laid back strictness • melee weapons or long distance • ↳ long distance • gemstones or metal • ↳ gemstones • sarcastic or sincere • ↳ sarcastic • galaxies or planets • ↳ planets • easily excited or easily tired • ↳ HE HAS DEPRESSION ♚ tagging ♚ ↳ youuu "merr for the last time stop doing more kin memes and changing them to oc memes" y'all mind if i just ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: i stole this from dave ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ colton scott but im definitely changing his name so it's alliterative. ive been reading a lot of scott pilgrim • canon of said kin/id • ↳ uhhh.. merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ he's cis. and has never been really knowledgeable to consider *gasp* dating another guy?!!!!?? • age of said kin/id • ↳ i tend to set them all around 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎸 as it is this guitar kind of annoys me but shdbdbd • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ ✌️💫👔🌻🌆✨🎖️⚽🎮🎸🎹🎧🖱️💿 i hate him • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ HE LOVES HIS GF VERY MUCH OBVS...colton has a different social group outside of the main cast but he likes most of them, sure. • favorite places in your canon • ↳ probably his garage/room • your kin/id's aesthetic• - it's really really indie rock... half assed music; the obvious plucking of a guitar, and less than perfect perfectness; a bunch of lyrics on aesthetic images; bruised limbs, knuckles; contemplating your life past the normal extent a teenager should go • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ ......indie rock bands THAT ONE SONG by the artic monkeys, the strokes, front bottoms • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ a darker yellow-y green • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ 🎸🎧🎮 • favorite memory • ↳ AJAHAJS I DON'T KNOW • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ i feel coke but he likes sweet things so...Hmm • dog person or cat person • ↳ DOG • pop music or rock music • ↳ rock ajsjjs • morning or evening • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ sweet • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ he's sociable and friendly but i feel like he'd spend a lot of time by himself • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introverted extrovert