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sbrn10 · 5 months

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Look, I apologize for being the hyperfixate on Laudna and Imogen all the time person (actually, I don't, sorry not sorry, this is my whole personality now) but:

Marisha has fucking weaponized the phrase "I like/love children" and I want her to stab me with it 37 more times. It's the most fucked up, precisely because her (Before Imogen state) idea of appealing to children is so horrifying, of course they run from her.

Can you BELIEVE that the primary thing standing between Laudna and Delilah's manipulation is Laudna's extremely low sense of self-worth? The fact that Delilah tries to tell Laudna "you deserve it, take what's rightfully yours" and Laudna refuses because it's not meant for her -- nothing is meant for her. Even Imogen isn't meant for her -- after all, she's a dead end, and Imogen should be able to live. The fact that Delilah still doesn't know any other way to entice someone than offering power because it's the only thing she understands -- and Laudna doesn't want it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make everybody worry. *weak laugh* This is the second time you all have trotted through these woods to save me." vs. "the crippling obligation that [I] feel to everybody for risking themselves to save [me] ... still haunts me." (From fucking e49 when Laudna and Ashton were having one of their "Ashton is projecting their experience onto Laudna super hard" conversations, fucking christ) Excuse me, I'm going to go scream into the night.

"What did he do to you? Did he hurt you? Did he manipulate you?" Laudna's immediate assumption that Ashton somehow coerced Fearne in order to take power meant for her, because she's lived with a voice in her head doing nothing but that for 30 years. I am lying dead in a ditch.

Look, I know everyone has already said it. I know. I know. But. Laudna: Will you hold me? Delilah: Always. "You swear you feel the shadows around you in this corner grow a little thicker, like a cloak of darkness that wraps itself around you." "You wake up cold and alone." Laudna: I miss Imogen. Laudna: Love is pain. But it is also warmth. I was so cold last night. Imogen: I go hug her again. Marisha. Girl. What the FUCK.

Laudna: You can give [the doll] whatever voice you want. Ashton: I'm not good at voices. Laudna: You can find a voice. What if I just died. Right here. What if, Marisha.

Can we talk about Imogen going through Laudna asking her to move on if something happens to her, like she's readying herself to leave, and then she left for real and didn't come back. Can we talk about how fucked up that was for her. Can we talk about how she didn't even get to be angry at Laudna for it because Laudna was visibly fucked up so bad it was something she'd never seen before. Somebody please give that girl a hug, like so many hugs, also my kingdom for Imogen getting to be angry at Laudna at some point (please also read Time Running Out).

Ashton: I thought it would make me better, and I thought a better me would-- [help you]. Imogen: You don't need power to be better, Ashton. Imogen is just so fucking tired, my god. Imogen is the Ben Affleck smoking meme about the people she loves being stupid.

Okay, a few not Imogen or Laudna things: - My god, Travis, what an episode for Chetney. "Plus, if you need it, just say you need it." / "Okay, I kind of need it." That is my emotional support old man and I just want to give Chetney and Fearne so many hugs. - Percy and Ashton being mirrors for each other across 30 years and 3 campaigns: truly the most Taliesin of all time. - FCG was so good at talking Ashton through his decisions and pushing back on the surface-level excuses to dig deeper but also staying open and trying hard to allow Ashton some grace despite it all. Growth dot gif. - FCG as a counselor at Wildemount Wildlings when.

#musings: cr

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fangirleaconmigo · 2 years

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Hey, I love all of your witcher book/show/game difference analyses and canon vs fandom posts! Aside from Valdo and Aiden do you think any other minor characters in the canon source material will become more developed in fandom (maybe to a lesser extent)? I feel like Linus Pitt has some potential and we get a decent glimpse of his personality on the boat ride in Blood of Elves. Curious to hear your thoughts on this as well!

Thank you so much, nonny!

You know, that is such a crap shoot. The supporting and minor characters are (naturally) the ones they change the most, and then on top of that, so much depends on the actor. I feel like it is impossible to tell.

But you know who what extremely minor character we see only twice and who we know nothing about, that I would ABSOLUTELY FUCKING KILL to see, both in the show and in fic? Black Rayla. That woman is goddamn epic. Her actions are dark as fuck. But holy damn is her 'final stand' scene iconic as hell.

I mean, seriously, even for the people who have zero context, just read this scene and tell me it isn't amazing!!

Rayla and her men are surrounded by Scoia'tael. She has promised to kill her comrades before they fall into the hands of the elven commandos, because they are notorious for torturing captives. They are losing. Her comrade, Villis, has just fallen but is only wounded.

"Rayla!" he screamed "you promised!"

The mercenary, dispatching another elf, swung around.

"Farewell Villis," she said, placing the point of her sword beneath his sternum and pushing hard, "see you in hell!"

A moment later, she stood alone. The Scoia'tael encircled her from all sides. The soldier, smeared with blood from head to foot, raised her sword, whirled around and shook her black plait. She stood among the elves, terrible and hunched like a demon.

The elves retreated.

"Come on!" she screamed savagely. "What are you waiting for? You will not take me alive! I am Black Rayla!".

Then when they tell her to throw down her sword...

"The mercenary laughed horribly and and wiped her face with her cuff, smearing sweat mixed with dust and blood.

"My sword costs too much to be thrown away, elf!" she cried. "If you want to take it you will have to break my fingers! I am Black Rayla! What are you waiting for?"

One of the most exciting and emotional battle scenes, and given that we don't even know her, and she isn't a hero either, that's an amazing feat.

Other than her, I would love to see Keira Metz with her 'severe male clothing' and her brass fucking knuckles. She deserves more prominence too, and will hopefully make a splash in the fandom.

As to your suggestion, Linus Pitt is so much goddamn fun. His scene with Geralt is one of my all time favorites. Please indulge me because I am going to talk about his scene for the people reading who do not know him.

For those who haven't read Blood of Elves, Linus Pitt is an Oxenfurt Master Tutor of Natural History, who Geralt meets aboard a ship. Geralt has been hired to be on the ship to protect them from a potential monster attack. (An Aeschna, as Geralt calls it)

Master Linus is SUPER enthusiastic about biological classification of monsters and wants to pump Geralt for information. It turns out, Linus's book learning differs SIGNIFICANTLY from Geralt's real life experience. (ain't that the way it goes)

He provides such a fantastic opportunity to explore Geralt's ethics, his sense of humor, and to get a more in depth glimpse of how others see him. I love contrasting Geralt, a highly practical working man with a ton of real world experience, with academics and their theories and conceptual ethics.

And Geralt 's dynamic with Linus, and the way he just teases the hell out of him is hilarious. They first get off on the wrong foot, because the scholar insists that the aeschna do not exist, and he laments Geralt's lack of scientific specificity in his monster naming conventions.

So Geralt goes full strength Geralt sarcasm. It is glorious.

For moment, both men saw a twenty-pound or more specimen of the king pickerel swallowing a dead rat...

"What was that?" The Master Tutor shuddered.

"I don't know," Geralt looked at the sky. "A penguin, maybe?"

Bahahahaha. And Linus knows he's being made fun of.

"I have been told that witchers possess considerable knowledge about some rare species. But you, you not only repeat rumours and tales, but you are also mocking me in a most crude manner...are you listening to me at all?"

The Master Tutor "pouts" and bites his lips, and stares at Geralt quite a bit.

Geralt's continued sarcasm drips from the page.

"Enlighten me, Master Tutor, expound a little upon your knowledge of aquatic predators..."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Not at all. I would honestly like to fill the gaps in my education."

But then when Linus goes on and on, then pauses, asking Geralt if he wants to add anything, Geralt is like:

"...I'm listening with bated breath."

Linus is suspicious, but chatters on. Geralt finally interrupts him to correct him. Linus objects to this...

"Indeed, your lack of knowledge disappoints me. Truly, I am amazed--"

To which Geralt replies with...

"I know," interrupted Geralt. "I lose a great deal of my charm when one gets to know me better. Nevertheless, I will permit myself to correct your theories a little further..."

Wilting sarcasm, weaponized self deprecation of questionable sincerity, and monster nerdery....this is full strength Geralt, firing on all cylinders. God I love him.

And of course Linus begins to listen to him, and heed his warnings. He learns quickly that Geralt has the superior knowledge. And Linus's extreme passion for science and monsters is so entertaining and endearing.

When Geralt is actually in the water fighting with the monster, Linus is shrieking out scientific information to 'help' him.

"It's an anthropod! Order Amphipoda! Group Mandibulatissimae!"

Geralt violently thrashed his arms in the water, trying to yank his legs from the aeschna's claws as they pulled him towards the rhythmic snap of its jaws. The Master Tutor was correct once again. The jaws were anything but small.

Then of course Linus is like TRANSCENDENT with joy to 'discover' a new monster and wants to name it after Geralt. Geralt begs him not to and he consents to name it something else. (ETA because @ithoughtitwaspronouncedgeralt SO RIGHTLY points it out. Geralt insists Linus name the monster after a little boy on the ship who is like NONSTOP a brat. XD)

It's just goddamn classic witcher. Amazing. Hilarious. No notes.

What a great pair.

#asks #the witcher #thinking about the witcher books yet again #talking twn

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celticsorcerer1 · 5 months

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My first Scott Pilgrim fanfic.

“Aisling McKeen Vs Her Feelings”

—-

I’m not into girls.

Asling McKeen replayed this sentence in her head over and over as she walked through the unfamiliar streets of Toronto, Ontario. She had moved here recently from Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia, hoping that the loud sounds of city life would drown out her past.

Suddenly, she bumped into someone in a dark jacket, causing both parties to slip and fall in the snow.

“Hey, watch it!” The other person snarled.

“Oh, forgive me, I didn’t see…you…” Asling faltered as she took in the other person. It was a young woman with choppy blonde hair tied in two short pom-poms, black eyeshadow, a studded braclet, and a sword at her waist.

The girl smirked. “You look speechless. What, you into chicks?”

Blushing red-hot, Asling leaped to her feet. “No! No, I am not into girls! Goodbye forever!” she tore down the street as fast as she could. She had to get away from that girl before-

“You know, you’re cute.” in a puff of smoke, the girl from earlier appeared in front of her.

Asling skidded to a halt. “I’m not into girls!” she exclaimed.

The girl smirked again. “Keep telling yourself that, honey. It won't change a thing. You are into girls and I want a piece of that.”

“No, I’m NOT!” A column of golden light suddenly erupted at Asling’s feet and enveloped her. When it subsided, she was cloaked in white, the Nova Scotia flag billowing from her shoulders. In her hands, she held a crosier made of white birch. Her irises glowed blue and her short red hair turned dazzling white.

The dark-cloaked girl whistled. “A Cape Breton Cleric, huh? So, which God do you serve?”

“Jesus Christ,” Asling twirled her crosier. “Now, leave me alone.”

“Uh-uh. I'm not stopping until you go out with me,” the girl brandished her katana. “My name’s Roxanne Richter, call me Roxie.”

“Leave me be,” Asling gently requested. “I’m not into girls.”

“You’re lying to yourself,” Roxanne rushed forward. Asking held her crosier parallel, stopping the attack. “You don't have to, you know. Canada’s pro-LGBTQ.”

“My Lord is not,” Asling broke the clash and spoke in Irish under her breath. A beam of golden light shot from her opposite palm towards Roxanne, but the half-ninja deflected it. “And if I lose his Grace, I lose my powers.”

“You’re not going to lose your powers for dating a girl, cutie,” Roxanne leaped into the air, alighting on a street lamp. “Your God made you this way. And I’m not looking for anything sensual. Just someone to talk to, maybe snuggle and watch a movie with. Kissing is also encouraged, but not required.”

“I am NOT into…” Asling suddenly stumbled, her hair and eyes fading to their usual color as she sank to her knees. “No… used… too much… mana…” she fell to the ground. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was Roxanne kneeling by her side.

—

When Asling awoke, she was laying on a straw pallet, a comforter pulled up to her neck. Groaning, she sat up.

“Hey. Glad you’re awake.” Roxanne sat cross-legged on the other side of the room. Her feet were bare. She had black polish on her nails and a chain anklet.

“Why… did you… bring me here?” Asling looked sound. The room was sparsely decorated with japanese calligraphy scrolls and movie posters.

“Well, I couldn’t leave you to freeze. Fight or no fight, I like you. A lot,” Roxanne stepped closer. “And since I saved your life, you do kinda owe me one.”

Asling looked away, dread coursing through her body. “What… do you want?”

Roxanne smiled a genuine smile as she gently caressed Asling’s cheek and turned her face. “Your name will do… for now.”

Asling sighed. “I guess you do deserve that much. It’s Asling. Asling McKeen.”

“Asling… cute name. And… how long have you been a CBC?” Roxanne asked.

“Officially, since I was 17. But I trained for it my whole life. It’s the… family business, you could say. But, as you saw… I still have a problem with my mana. I spend it far too quickly.” Asling sighed.

“That’s ok. You just need to practice your techniques,” Roxanne smiled. “I know ninja training is probably super different from Cleric training, but, if you want, I can teach you some meditation techniques that might help. Tea can help too. How about I brew us some?”

Asling thought about it. “I guess… I don’t have much choice… for now. But I’m still not–”

“Into girls? Hon, you are. I can see it in your eyes. But if you want to be friends for now, I can oblige…” Roxanne winked. “But I make it my mission to first get you to accept that, then accept my invitation for a date.”

As she walked off to make the tea, Asling put her hands together and prayed.

“Lord, what have laid before me? A trial? A sign? Guide me either way, towards the surest path towards your glory. In your name I pray, Amen.”

#fanfiction #roxie richter #scott pilgram takes off #lgbtqia #scott pilgrim oc

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lainface · 8 months

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indie, selective, single-muse and heavily canon divergent blog for a GABRIELLA O'HARA // DARK WEB. no password required. mutuals only. SIDEBLOG. follows from @novaragno.

penned by NØX. ( + 21. she // her. animation student. )

A STUDY IN: david vs goliath, loss of innocence, derealization, being alone in the multiverse, hunting down the monster under your bed. SHORT ABOUT.

✧ oo. GOLDEN RULE.

IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME AT MY OC, YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY CANON. this meaning, if you throw yourself at my canon muses only and ignore my ocs, this tell me that 1) you don't really care about my writing in the first place and 2) i'm just here to fill a spot, and i refuse that. THIS BLOG IS MEDIUM TO LOW ACTIVITY in favor for my oc.

✧ o1. asks & threads.

If you want to make a plotted thread, y'all just need to hit me up ! Be it on my DMs or Discord ( that I only give to close mutuals ), if you send something I should answer it pretty fast. And if you want to continue a thread based on an ask, there is no problem with that, no need to ask !

✧ o2. roleplay memes.

I do reblog karma here ! This means that I would prefer that you reblog a meme on my blog from the source ! I do not like the notification clogging it does ! I am BEGGING you to reblog both memes and musing posts FROM THE SOURCE. It’s such a pet peeve of mine. Since many people tend to do that, I have decided that after 3 times someone reblogs a meme from me ( instead of the source ) without sending any, I will softblock said person. This rule does not apply if the source of the meme is broken.

✧ o3. language & grammar.

English is my third language, so be ready, there might be some spelling errors and mistakes, heck, there might be some on this page only ! You might find some posts in italian or french.

✧ o4. godmodding.

is of course non-authorized. Killing my muse without so much of a warning and us plotting beforehand will make me automatically drop the thread. METAGAMING unless warned or talked about before is also non-authorized.

✧ o5. art & credits.

The art used on this blog for graphics will come from official sources ( such as the spider verse movie & the river city girls official artworks ).

✧ o6. crossover & ocs.

Both are great ! Usually if you have an about page, you’re already halfway good to go. For crossovers, I have to know the universe your muse is from / you gotta have a verse I can work with, as for OCs, I love OCs to bits and I’ve been an advocate for ocs since 2016.

✧ o7. shipping & nsfw.

I am more than okay with shipping, if of course we’re both on the same page about it. One-sided crushes can happen, both from your character and mine, but if the feelings are unrequited I will not push you for a relationship nor should you expect yourself to do the same towards me. MY MUSE IS UNDER 18 AND SO NO SMUT WILL BE WRITTEN ON THIS BLOG. however, suggestive is fine. I WILL BLOCK YOU IF I SEE YOU SHIP ADULTS AND MINORS i'm not playing.

✧ o8. Blacklist & triggers.

I have very little squeaks, however I understand that others do. If you need anything tagged, tell me so !

✧ o9. AI art.

I WILL BLOCK YOU IF I SEE YOU USING AI-GENERATED ART. if you are unaware of the problems ai-generated material causes for the art industry, be it illustrators, writers or animators, i implore you to educate yourself on the matter. as someone who would like to enter the industry one day, THIS IS A DEAL BRAKER TO ME. i understand the curiousity and wanting to do it recreationaly, however, BE AWARE that those do cause harm too and feed the machine.

PLEASE TAG YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH MAE // FOXTAIL // SERA // GORE AND PAPAYA // AXOLOLT // GLORY. Their presence is pretty triggering for me. Thank you ! Their URL is enough. I WILL ALSO NOT INTERACT WITH PROSHIPPERS. if we're friends & i find out you're a weirdo, i don't care how long we've been friends, IT'S ON SIGHT AND I WILL NOT BE COVERING YOUR ASS EITHER. i'm a recovering survivor of grooming and abuse and i do not wish to be exposed to that kind of content nor people who actively get off it, and that is my right.

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LACK OF COMMUNICATION. as a roleplay partner and friend, i try to be as communicative as possible, and i believe that enjoyable interactions, be it ic or ooc, reside on all parties communicating their needs and wants. IF YOU FAIL TO DO YOUR PART, THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. don't be wishy washy about it, i take things at face value; give me CLEAR STATEMENTS.

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nikosheba · 3 years

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Okay I read your defense of Turin & yeah!! I also did not like his chapter in the Silmarillion but CoH has left me very much spiraling about him and what he represents - elvish vs mortal perspectives, doom & reactions to it, possibility of overcoming it, etc... I don't always like him but I LOVE thinking about him (and characters around him!) and there's so much more to Turin's story than like. a tragic unlikable guy, and I get why it's one of the chief 3 stories of the whole legendarium

Yeah!!! He really frustrates me sometimes--it was only like two months ago that I was like....oh man how am I going to write Turleg when Túrin is such a piece of work lmao. And I started rereading CoH looking for quotes, and the more I flipped through that book, the more I fell in love with him.

Part of it is, I can’t think of anyone else in all of the Tolkien legendarium who just...cannot understand how other people think, the way Túrin does. He’s always fair with other people (this is stated outright with the Gaurwaith), and cannot understand why people aren’t fair with him. He never comprehends that he’s being deceived--which I think is unfair to lay on his shoulders tbh.

One great example of how he just cannot understand other people, even other humans, is the knife-giving scene (which I believe is cut out of the Silm), which just totally encapsulates the frustration of him all at once. For those who haven’t read CoH, at one point when he’s very young, his father gives him a very fancy knife of elvish make. It’s Túrin’s last birthday before the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, not that he knows it. Túrin then immediately runs out to find his best friend, a lame older man named Sador who does little woodworking projects for Morwen and Húrin, and gives him the knife, entirely not understanding why this would be perceived as a bad thing. So it’s very like:

In Túrin’s mind: Got lovely knife > Sador does a lot of woodworking > the knife made me happy to receive > it will help Sador in his work > give Sador the knife

But no one else sees it like that. Húrin is fine with it but a bit baffled, and tells Túrin basically, “Fine, but idk when I’ll be able to get you another knife like that.” Morwen actively dislikes this, and says that she thinks it’s useless to give something so fine to someone who’s just going to waste it. Even Sador is unhappy, because Edain custom says he can’t refuse the gift, but he knows it’s far beyond what he even can make use of, and that he cannot give it back to his young master without causing offense.

So here we have a 8-9 year old boy (sorry my copy is downstairs, I forget whether he’s 8 or 9), who has something nice happen to him and immediately his first thought is to pay it forward, and he winds up making everyone unhappy. And that just sort of....sets the tone for his life.

It isn’t that he doesn’t love Finduilas. He does! He loves her like a sister--and textually, he never even really understands that she’s in love with him. She hints it, but she never tells him outright, and he is baffled when people talk to him about her in a romantic context. But he loves her! Like a friend and a sister--and has no idea why Finduilas’s mysterious (to him) feelings mean that now Gwindor, his friend who saved him from his madness, is angry with him, or why people keep placing this huge emphasis on his relationship with her.

The really tragic thing about Túrin, for me, is that he’s not genre-savvy. He thinks he’s in a Great Hero Tale, and has no idea he’s in a tragedy. I’ve said before that Children of Húrin feels like a dark inversion of Tolkien’s work to me. Acts of heroism are unrewarded. Acts of love are punished. Valiant stands get everyone around you killed. Beleg “yields to his love over his wisdom” and dies for it. There’s no reason that Túrin should have known the lovely maiden who kept begging him to marry he was his sister--he yields to his own love, and they both die for it, along with their unborn child. (For the record: he does love her, it’s not one-sided, she just wants to hustle the relationship along because it’s wartime and she fears to lose him, and he wants to wait for a more peaceful time.)

He even casts his sword aside at one point and is determined to live a peaceful life. But peace will not find him, and he is forced to take up the sword again, because his bow can do nothing against Glaurung.

A good portion of the angry, violent things he does are actually in defense of those who can’t defend themselves, or in defense of women. He’s oddly chivalric--with Saeros, his cry is, “Run, mocker of women!” When he goes back to Dor-Lómin, it isn’t until Brodda brags about sexually assaulting Túrin’s aunt-figure and scorns Túrin’s mother that Túrin goes super violent on him--and again, in anyone else’s story, killing Brodda would be the stuff of great songs. Alone he goes into a fortress that was stolen from his birthright, to find that there’s a drunken, abusive, cruel tyrant in his father’s place, and Túrin rouses the downtrodden, kills the usurpers, and casts out the rest.

And everyone blames him for it. They tell him he shouldn’t have, even though they fought alongside him, because now more wil come, and they will suffer for it. Túrin even begs them to come with him to Doriath or at least Brethil--he was safe there, after all--and they refuse, preferring to starve in the mountains or commit suicide in Dor-Lómin rather than follow him on a difficult trek.

ETA: I forgot to add that he also becomes Captain of the Gaurwaith because he kills Forweg to protect Larnach’s daughter; he never questions what’s going on, he just sees a girl with torn clothes being chased and immediately murders the guy chasing her--and when he sees that it’s Forweg he doesn’t exactly feel bad about it, just offers to do the same to Andróg if Andróg doesn’t start drinking his Respect Women Juice.

Anyway YEAH I also love thinking about him...and the fact that Elrond names him as one of the great Elf-Friend Heroes in LotR makes me so freaking emotional every time, WOW. The fact that the Lay of the Children of Húrin was composed by a minstrel in Sirion, that Elrond would have heard it as a little child and remembered him as an Elf-Friend and a Hero, makes me absolutely SOFT inside.

Túrin did legitimately deserve better. He deserved to be in the story he thought he was in. And dammit, I’m a fanfiction writer, I’m going to give it to him.

#Túrin Turambar #Túrin #Turin #my disaster son

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verobatto · 3 years

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Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXXIX

It was a love story from the very beginning

"You, me... And Sam."

Hello my friends!!! How are you? I feel much better now thanks to all your asks and your memes and your cracks, I adore them all!

Okay, putting that to a side, and still dreaming about how Jensen will give us the ending we all deserve, let's continue with this analysis, because is time to talk about the mixtape.

From butterflies in the stomach and Foreshadows of the new God

When the episode starts, there's a hint of what Jack's mission is. But coming out from Dagon's mouth, it became like a real bad future.

Dagon: Yeah. And he's not gonna stop there. Every sad, weak human, every tight-ass angel, every sniveling demon they'll all be consumed. So go ahead. Play your games. But whether you're healthy or sick, filthy or clean, He will be born. Good times.

Is almost the contrary to what Jack will actually do for the world. He will consume but it will be Chuck's powers until the last drop of it. And against Dagon's speech, he will save each demon and angel and restore everything.

Now, let's talk about CAS coming back to the bunker...

Gif credit @godshipsit

I think his face is saying everything here. The one entering in the bunker after go MIA, was Cas', so, Dean's face is scandalous.

Imagine that suddenly your disappeared crush enters through the door without previous announcement. Of cour we can read the bumping heart allnover Dean's cheek, his eyes went wide, in surprise. 'Is CAS!'

He was so worried this whole time, thinking the worst could happen to him, and now CAS is there, alive.

But his reaction to it will be completely different to Sam's reaction. This was settled to make us see the difference between how a friend would react and how a lover would react. Blatant.

Sam: Hey. You're all right. Um – Where have you been?

Sam is asking as a friend, but Dean, Dean doesn't...

Dean: Let me rephrase that for Sam. Where the hell have you been? And why have you ignored our phone calls?

Okay, let's just stop here, this is the way a wife will ask her husband. But because we are talking about Dean, we can see his shield. His shield is US/WE, his shield is SAM, because he wants to drag his brother into the feeling of being desperately worried. Because recognize that DEAN WAS THE ONLY ONE ALMOAT LOOSING HIS HEAD TRYING TO KNOW IF CAS WAS ALIVE OR WHWRE HE WAS IA SHOWING WEAKNESS, IS SHOWING HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR THE ANGEL. So, the theme of the I/ME vs the WE/US is perfectly written all over this episode.

Castiel: Where I was, the – the reception was, uh, poor.

Dean: No bars? No bars. That's his excuse. Wow.

Castiel: I was in Heaven. I was working with the angels. When I saw Dagon had captured Kelly, I-I thought they could help.

Okay Castiel is proving he is lying by himself here, because he said first he had not signal, and now, he heard one of the so many voice mails Dean had left in his phone.

Sam: And?

Castiel: Nothing.

Sam: Well, at least you're back. We're glad you're back

And be prepared again for the difference between the friend and the JILTED lover.

Dean: Really? No, I'm sorry. Okay, 'cause while you were striking out in Heaven, we had a shot at Dagon, and we lost.

Maybe Dean was waiting Sam to second him in his anger. But it was only in Dean's heart, the deception, and the recalling of so many days be worried about CAS. Because that's what romantic love makes you be.

Castiel: I know. I received your messages.

This was like a bomb for Dean...

Dean: Oh, you did – you did receive the messages? Okay, that's good.

Sarcasm...

Castiel: Dean.

Gif credit @starlightcastiel

Dean can't handle the pain in his heart of being rejected and ignored by Castiel, so he searches for his shield again: We/Us/Sam and me.

Dean: So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us? That's great. 'Cause we really could've used the backup. But, uh, you were too busy with, um (Clicks tongue) What was it? Nothing?

Castiel: Dean, I –

Dean: What the hell is wrong with you, man? You know, whatever. That's (Chuckles) Yeah. Welcome back. (walks away)

Dean is so mad with CAS. And is blatant that his reaction is totally different to Sam's.

The Mixtape as a way to reciprocate Castiel's confession, and the desperate attempt to make CAS to stay by his side.

Okay, we are now in the scene. I'm sure this scene had been dissected by many meta writers. I won't say new things, but i will point a little to their body languages.

Okay, the scene starts with Castiel knocking at Dean's door to give him back the mixtape, so jus aknowledged there that Dean gave CAS a freaking mixtape, which doesn't have another meaning that ROMANTIC. But we can assume Castiel doesn't get this human's customaries, also, we can assume he does, because boop culture that Metatron out at once in his head... So...

After Dean, without looking at him, because he is mad and now he has to handle this angel lack of knowledge about WHAT GIFTING A MIXTAPE MEANS, he said "It's a gift, you keep those."

And Castiel gets nervous.

Gif credit @stardustcas

The swallow and the way he opens his mouth again to breathe and maybe to say something else, but he stopped himself. Castiel is nervous. I thought at first because he has to find the Colt, and he knew Dean kept it in his room. But we know now that it wasn't just that. He was flustered because the intimacy of the situation with the man he loves.

Castiel looks around before attempting to leave, maybe searching for the Colt, but then Dean starts talking:

Dean: Cas, you can't – With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.

And in the middle of the intimate scene, awkward moment, Dean needs his shield more than never.

Castiel: Well, I didn't mean to add to your distress. I – Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn't find you. And then Kelly escaped on my watch, and I couldn't find her. And I just wanted I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself.

This speech is so important, because it shows how depressed Castiel felt, how uneasy. How unworthy. He needed to be useful. So he decided to start alone this dangerous journey that will end in his death. He also mentions the win. Because he didn't know he will be always Dean's win, as we will see in episode 13x06 when CAS comes back to Dean alive.

After they talk about Dragon, and Cas' asks if Sam and Dean are willing to kill an innocent, because that's dirty work, that's the mission CAS had taken in his own shoulders, Dean says this...

Dean: We will find a better way.

Castiel: You mean, we?

Gif set credit @deanwinchestrs

Cas points at Dean with the mixtape, because he wants to clarify if Dean is referring to them, to JUST CAS AND DEAN. YOU AND ME. THE TWO OF US. And Dean is now the flustered one. Look at Dean's face, being in just one spot, recognizing that the shield can be broken, that he is talking about CAS and him. Is too intimate. Too different. So his face is burning. And even so, the words are out. 'Yes, dumbass, we.'

What was this? This was an attempt coming from Castiel to get to know Dean's feelings. Pointing with the mixtape to just Dean and him. Not Sam here. Not shield. And Dean goes for it. Goes for that WE: YOU AND ME.

But then, Dean backtraks

Gif set credit @stardustcas

He starts explaining the WE, avoiding Castiel's gaze, he goes... 'You, me...' and then he tilts his head, and adds the shield back again: 'and Sam.'

The second gif is showing Dean backtracking, Because is too intimate, is too risky, he is standing on the edge between friendship and something else. He can't cross that line. Mostly because he is not sure about Castiel's feelings for him, and more now, after seeing how CAS ignored him for so long. Dean is like:

"What am I doing? Let's mention Sam here, and turn this into no homo conversation."

But the nervousness is all over the scene, i got nervous watching it because the awkward moment!

Gif set credit @stardustcas

More nervousness. Dean's flustered eyes. The swallowing. The attempt of staring into those blue eyes of the man he loves. (The butterflies in the stomach, the heart beating fast, the dry mouth) trying to make the conversation more normal, but their faces are loud.

Vas says he likes that and then Dean is more frustrated than never and his dry mouth is asking for a beer, or maybe he find a way out from the awkward moment, the gay moment. He needs to breathe. He almost let his guard down with this angel. And the desperate way to say STAY WITH ME. DON'T GO AWAY AGAIN. To his angel.

Castiel engages with a seductive look in the middle of the sexual tension

Sam: I mean, how did Cass even get the Colt out of the safe in the first place?

Dean drops his head. Sam raises an eyebrow

Sam Dean, you – you put the Colt back in the safe, right? Dean?

Dean: It was under my pillow. It – I like to keep it close. (Sighs) He came into my room and he played me.

Okay i can even explain the intimacy of this. Even if CAS didn't know about this and he just went searching all over Dean's room. Mention this after the huge scene full of romantic tension, has a meaning. Again: INTIMACY. And adding the "He played me" to all of this is another symbol way to show theme audience this was like that scene between the guy and his crush, in wich his crush takes advantage of it and plays him by stealing something from him. Yes.

Finally, when they find CAS... This scene...

Gif credit @stardustcas

Dean is mad, very mad at him. Because Castiel really played him. But... Look at the scene. Look at Castiel's gaze: PURE SEDUCTION. He maybe is aware of the effect he causes on Dean. And after the mixtape scene, he goes for it. Seduction as if they were in their first seasons together. And Dean is muted, and stares at him, then checks him out, and they're in their own sexual tension world, until Sam calls him. But he has to calls him twice because his brother is too embedded into Castiel's hot behavior.

But don't forget Dean is mad at him. So now, is Dean the one playing around with CAS. Throwing the keys at him and making him almost loose his stability to reach them.

Closing the circle

When Dean and Sam reach Castiel again in the middle of a battle with Dragon, Dean's desperation when Dagon is about to smite Castiel is high level.

But then Jack saves the day, not just showing CAS the future (the ending of season 15) but also, Jack gave him powers to finish Dagon.

Then, the scene in wich Castiel heals Dean is full of intimacy again. The lingerie touch, rubbing fingers. Because Dean is moving his hand slowly away from CAS touch but he ended by letting his hand to feel Castiel's rubbing his fingers. To let Castiel to heal him.

And then, CAS is gone again.

To Conclude:

12x19: The Future has Destiel all over it. Dean mad at him, reaching the level of a JILTED lover. Dean way to protect himself from another rejection using the WE/US/SAM shield. Just because he can't handle it. The doubts about Cas' feelings, and the way the angel always find to go MIA, makes his heart stutter.

The mixtape scene is one of the most emblematic. The nervousness is all over their faces, and Misha and Jensen transmite perfectly the romantic tension between the two characters and goes straight to our hearts, making us feel awkward and flustered too.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 12, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII.

Buenos Aires, November 24th 2020, 9:36 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #destiel mixtape #destiel is canon

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fireheartfaery · 3 years

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As the year comes to a close (thank the gods) I have one group of people to thank for getting me through it: And that's fanfic authors! You guys have saved me every single day this year and I can never thank you enough for it❤️

I started this list in July sometime and it has been steadily growing since then, and I'm sure it will continue to, but I cannot close out this hell-year without thanking these blogs in particular because wow I would not have survived without y'all's works!

@stardustroses Bruna! I discovered your Headcanons first and I fell head over heels in love. I haven't read your gen 2 yet but I promise I will. Thank you for giving us that sweet sweet manorian content we are being so (rudely) denied! And thank you for all the warnette and dramione. Most importantly, thank you for your original WIP. I cannot tell you how much I love your beautiful characters and I hope with all my heart that one day I can hold your book in my hand and know that I read its contents all that time ago and loved it even then.

@ladywitchling Ams! You know I love your writing. You write raw and real and it makes me so sad but heals me so well. Thank you for becoming a friend. Your presence has been a light in the darkness of this year. I will possess your heart is one of the greatest pieces of writing I have ever had the pleasure to read and I cannot tell you how blown away I was! Also Zillah is everything. EVERYTHING

@noodlecatposts Jess! (I hope it's okay to call you that) Firstly I hope you're really really proud of yourself for all you've written and done this year because holy crab cakes you took on a lot of projects. I think I found you because of Noisy Neighbours but I think I only got a few chapters in before I had to call it quits because I cannot handle angst until I know I'm going to get fluff resolution and that did not come for a hot minute👀(I will catch up on NN that's a promise to myself) but obviously I stalked your account because I love your writing style and I found so many beautiful fics! Also I just need to tell you that this one particular ask (and your response to it) will pop into my head randomly and I will die laughing! It was around 20 chapters into NN and the asker said something along the lines of "In another 20 chapters will see rowaelin doing [cannot remember]" and your response was roughly "Oh God I don't think I can write 20 more chapters" and now I think NN is on 60 chapters? That interaction just makes me laugh all the time, and especially when I see a new chapter is up. When you started Kingsflame I knew it'd be my favourite by far. That fic has a special place in my heart and I think about it on the regular.

@sassyhobbits your One Night Standards fic is b r i l l i a n t. I haven't finished it yet but please know that Princess Aelin and Prince Rowan own all the parts of my heart and I loved their characterizations so much! That scene where they go out into the city all disguised and then they have greasy burgers at the diner is so soft and I think about it constantly! Also the one where they had to stage that picnic and the little girl came up to Aelin? Freaking adorable. I adore how badass and wonderful Lysandra is as well! THANK YOU!

@charincharge your Cruel Summer fic was!!! Mind blowing. I loved everything about it and when it ended all I wanted to do was dive back into the world and read about rowaelin having theme park adventures. Thank you thank you thank you for creating that beautiful AU!

@simping4bookboisngrls Cass! The minute you interacted with my crackships post I knew I'd adore you forever!! Your Everybody Talks fic lives rent free in my mind and I love love love every relationship (platonic and romantic) you've created! Also getting to interact with you has been one of the best things about my year so thank you for brightening my dash! (and my life)

Special Mentions:

@tacmc @snelbz Your "Swipe Left" one (two?) shot fic was SOOOOOO freaking cute!!! Everything about it! I love the collaborations you guys do.

@ourlovelybones your manorian fic hello princeling, hello witchling yea I love it and it's so cute and you providing us with the manorian content we deserve? QUEEN! thank you

@highqueenofelfhame I think I've read your writing in pieces here and there and I loved it all but my fave thing is "Sleight of Hand"! That fic gave me so much happy thank you

@rhysanoodle finding you quinlar one shot after reading the blue-balls that was CC was like finding water in the flipping desert!! You are a life saver thank you

@westofmoon your "12 17 days of Rowaelin" was *all the heart eyes* and I think I had like 6 strokes from the cuteness alone!

@darklesmylove your perspective fics where you write about things that could have happened are wonderful!! Specifically "intentions" and "the stars pale" I just loved them so much! I always need me some rowaelin

@starseternalnighttriumphant your kinktober obliterated me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED ALL OF IT SO MUCH. Thank you for spoiling us. Also your daddy!Rowan AU is g e n i u s

@dawninlatin Queen of Peace is one of my fave manorian AUs of all time and I love that they're just blushing idiots who don't know what going on and need to be pushed together in order to realize they're perfect for each other!! Also Manon rebelling against her grandmother is the greatest thing to ever happen. And Asterin continues to be iconic in any universe

@empress-ofbloodshed THANK YOU FOR THE ROWCAN! I didn't expect it to be such a big part of my year but it has made all the difference in the world! Your roommates AU is the cutest ever

@rhysand-vs-fenrys YOUR CAZRIEL???? Unreal. Unbelievable. Show stopping. You made my cazriel binge that much better and I love you for it!

@nalgenewhore thank you for the rowcan content!! Between you and @empress-ofbloodshed my 2020 has brought only the best crackship! Also I love Kohana!!!! Like I would die for him

@sacksvilles I will never ever be over the perfection that is Nezriel and I want to live in the universe where they're canon instead of nessian!! Thank you for creating the nezriel monster that is me. Also your fic "Illyrian Oral Lessons" is perfection and nothing less!

#I bloody love fanfic authors #SJM fanfic authors #SJM #Fanfic authors #Fanfictions #Authors #Ciara's Convos #Appreciation post

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agl03 · 7 years

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Hi...I just saw the last ep and I... really don't feel fine. :((( Once again no Fitzsimmons... x( How the hell did we end up there? with this insignificant on-screen time. I want season 1 Fitzsimmons' screentime back, 10min of them by episode talking, doing science, bickering even being happy for a change. I'm down with the dark tone, dark theme, dark whatever... dark is definitely not better!!They are the "jewel" of this show since the beginning (1)

and I really don’t understand the idea of diminishing “them” even more every freaking season. It’s worse than season 2 how the hell did it happen? I don’t want to wait 15ep every year to get something “good”, when did this become the norm and a good idea!?!? It’s bad and terrible writing. :/ And I don’t care about them having individual stories for a long time now, we already saw that and it was not the time to do that anyway.

And the frustration was on when they would get their shit together and be together. They have passed that point now, so this artificial frustration they create makes no sense and they make it last. They work together for over a decade and they know each other by heart, their qualities, their flaws and even probably every mood, every breath almost everything of each other and now just like by “magic” their work is a problem in their relationship, it’s total non-sense

And I’m down rationalizing it to make it works, it just legitimates the writers’ choices and it is plenty wrong, they need to know that it’s all crap, and that some people are angry and sad and etc. Jemma’s statement on the lack of Fitz felt like a finger from the writers, and I don’t even want to talk about the generalization on men that I’ve read… :(I don’t want fiction to be “life-like”, life is an ice cold shitty desert, fiction is my escape plan, and Fitzsimmons are better and deserve better than that. They are my hope and light and I don’t want their relationship to be off-screen, there is no point in that.I feel so empty and sad and desperate… and I’m actually crying writing this message, and this is so completely the opposite of what I had expected to feel for when they got together… :’(( And worse than that I feel like I betray/failed the show, failed THEM by not loving the show anymore.:’(

I know people will think I’m ridiculous and maybe I’m a terrible person but it’s what I feel… I’ll let them mid-season to get better but if not it fucking breaks my heart but I’ll be done with it, they manage to destroy my pleasure, my cheerfulness to watch the show, I didn’t think it was possible… :’( I’m so sorry to inflict you that, you are an amazing kind person and member of the fandom but I needed to tell someone that

I’m down rationalizing writers choices, it just legitimates them… I know it’s not a question and it’s probably my “last ask” because I don’t see any light coming, you can call it a rant, a painful comment, a cry for help, a farewell… and you can published it or not, it’s really not that important. :) But thank you very much for all your time, explanation and kindness. :) Once again I’m really sorry…

Hi Anon!

I am sorry to hear how frustrated you are. And I want to sincerely apologize if my metas are contributing to this. By nature I am what my family calls a ‘fixer’ and I try to make everyone happy and put a positive spin on things.

EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion and feelings on things. You have every right to feel upset, betrayed, and frustrated right now. We were downright misled by Jed. I know I do. I waited a LONG time for Fitzsimmons to be canon, I couldn’t wait to see what that would look like, and needless to say what we’ve seen hasn’t been what anyone expected.

This is my escape too, you all have no idea how much being on here, answering asks, chatting, and doing metas has helped me these last few months of recovery. And its hard when that escape causes stress or isn’t an escape anymore.

As hard as it is not to get the shippy moments I was hoping for I really did enjoy the last episode. Jemma had an awesome episode. Fitz had an awesome episode. And I want to support them as individual characters as them as a couple Because, yes, Lil and Iain are the heart of the show. Fitz and Simmons are the heart of the team.. I think Iain especially has a very strong arc coming with LMD and the Radcliffe fall out. I personally (my opinion) would rather see them dealing with angst on individual arcs rather and real couple issues than a ton of angst in their relationship in order to give them more screen time. Because AOS is not a romance driven show, is a very small component of everything else going on. We see little from most couples after they get together. We’ve gotten more Fitzsimmons shippy stuff after they got together than StaticQuake did, and that ship had one of the shows main characters in it.

That is not to say this is all okay. Relationship frustration being part of the story or no, the writers could “throw us a bone” at some point, take 2 seconds to assure the fandom and give us something to buoy us until the next time they can be together. We got a fantastic one in 07, despite them hardly seeing each other. For me 07 was a very strong episode in terms of FItzsimmons as we got validations from EVERYONE else at how much they meant to each other. .

I did THIS post yesterday that gave me a lot of peace of mind. That while months have passed for us, in terms of the characters less than a week has gone by. Fitzsimmons have barely had time to sleep, let alone sit down and talk about the love nest and hurt feelings from having to hide AIDA.

The other thing I know is at this point in the season

Sunshine and rainbows now = Pain coming

Pain now = Sunshine and rainbows around the finale

I look at where we were this time in B. I did a lot of asks then. A lot of people where we are now. Mad, frustrated, and feeling hopeless that we’d get Fitzsimmons together. We didn’t get the aftermath of Maveth I’d envisioned, no good conversations or discussions of feelings. There they hardly had screen time as they set up Huntingbirds departure. Heck I am sure some on here were ready just to deck me when I kept saying be patient, it will happen. And the BIG difference we had in B vs now is we don’t have that carrot. In B we had the undercover pic that told us something good was coming. Because it came back later we had the cast doing cons and we got talk of kisses (present and plural) to help us too.

So I’m going to say now what I did then. Hang in there good things will come. Pain and suffering now means that something good will be coming. I can’t say when this time, but something good is coming. They are aware of how important this ship is to the show. They are on social media they see/get the tweets demanding more. They know what spoilers are being shared and asked at the entertainment sites. And I know some from the show pop onto Tumblr. They set up the ‘separation frustration’ for a reason. And like Space BF was one contrived roadblock too far they are getting to the point where the the separation frustration has reached a breaking point too.

We get them at the very least in the same room next week. We see them in the lab with Talbot. Don’t get hopes up too high, but they MIGHT be at the base ‘alone’. And just because they get a scene together it doesn’t mean its going to be a super happy one. They still have issues to work out surrounding AIDA. But at least one of them isn’t lost in the woods with Mace, Mack, and Coulson. May and Daisy were on the Quin Jet. Daisy, Coulson, Mack, and I expect Mace are at that speech That’s not to say one or both don’t have to head out later but they will at least get some time together.

This season feels like its been going for a long time and it has. I personally feel this is contributing to the frustration factor. All the breaks thanks to the election and holiday and we only have 9 eps in the books, that leaves 13 episodes to go. Plenty of time for Fitzsimmons stuff. This point last season we had just hit Closure…and look how far we came after Closure. Every season has had at least one really good, solid, Fitzsimmons episode. Season 1 FZZT (6), Season 2 Afterlife (16), and Season 3 The Singularity (18) are a few examples. All came at different points in the season….though the last two were more in the back half.

I hope everyone knows my opinion and takes on this are my own. I put out metas, theories, answer asks and hope they help others. But I don’t expect anyone to feel the same way I do about story lines. Just because I enjoy one doesn’t mean you have to too. Just as just because I have gotten to a okay place with the separation/frustration doesn’t mean you still can’t be upset with it. Everyone enjoys and watches for different reasons. I completely adore Fitzsimmons as a couple and want to see more of it but I am also enjoying them having their own story lines and am excited to see the Fitz/Radcliffe one play out.

I don’t know if my rambling helps at all but you do what you need to do to take care of yourself and I don’t know who you are but you are a valued member of the fandom and would hate to lose you.

#aos spoilers #ask agl03

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