#Jack (and the others) are understandably protective of Mac | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

romanarose · 1 year

Text

Seattle: Chapter 5

Marc Spector X fem! OC

Seattle Masterlist

Part 4 : Part 6

Summary: Rebecca and Marc travel back to Chicago for a funeral, Rebecca and Marc face people from their past, together.

Warnings: References to domestic violence, sexual assault via condom tampering, references to child abuse, shown child abuse (aggressive behavior/manhandling/pain inflicted on teenagers), mentions of miscarriage, inflicting miscarriage, siblings being siblings, victim blaming, Marc and Rebecca are in a bit of a fight, Rebecca got some anger she gotta work on.

Not proof read, this literally took me hours I'm so tired of looking at it

This picture is just so cute asdfgjkl look how mad he is, he’s pouting watching the others fight knowing he’s not supposed to intervene

A/N got my groove back, last chapter sucked ass, this is much better. the flashbacks have tie in with the present, top tier

**********

“Mac, I told you 1000 times you didn’t have to come”

It had been nearly two months at this point. Two months of divorce paper work and filing complaints with the court, getting medical and police records. Jack’s calls and texts to Becca had become none-stop, to the point where the courts ordered all phone communication to go through Matty. No protection or restraining order was granted, however the judge seemed to think Jack “wasn’t an immediate threat”. It still seemed like Rebecca would be granted the divorce and a settlement, Matt and Foggy were good at their job, but the male judge still seemed to take things easy on Jack, despite the overwhelming evidence.

“Oh, yeah, sure, and leave you to deal with him alone? Yeah Beccs, I’m definitely gonna do that” Marc rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “And I told you, that you don’t have to go in the first place.” After several decade of drinking and poor health, Rebecca’s dad died of a heart attack. Marc knew better than most that this does not bring the relief that many might think, but it doesn’t bring the sorrow you’d expect from the death of a parent. It brings both, and it’s confusing as hell. He tried to tell her she didn’t have to go to the funeral or the shiva, but she insisted she had too. Rebecca had lost years to Jack, years of traditions and faith, Marc assumed this was part of her reclaiming it.

Problem was, Jack was going too. Asa invited him. Rebecca refused to tell Asa the brunt of what happened, Marc figured this was out of pride, or embarrassment, but either way, Asa had taken Jack's side in the divorce, as had much of the family. Still, for whatever reason, Rebecca had decided it was her duty to go and help. She had already insta-carted groceries she’d need to feed the family after services. Rebecca wasn’t observing the complete shiva, no she couldn’t take her family that long. Funeral was the evening of their flight, which left at 6 in the fucking morning, then one day of shiva with everyone, Sunday, they’d get lunch with Elias, and her and Marc might spend some time at their old stomping grounds, then head home monday in time for Steven to teach his evening class, and Rebecca would finish out the shiva in her own way. ‘In and out’ she had said, like it was a fucking heist. Somehow, this was more intimidating than any mission he had been on before. Chicago, his dad, her dad, Jack, Asa… it was all overwhelming. Hey mate, I’ll be here, yeah? I can fake your accent pretty well. Maybe not for dad, but enough to get by with the shiva, so it’s too much, let me take over, yeah?

I’ll be fine, Steven, thanks

Marc.

He sighed. Yeah, okay, I’ll let you take the body if I need it.

And just talk to her. She understands. She loves you.

I need to be here for her

I know, but she’s still embarrassed. Allowing her to help you, will help her too. She wants to repay you

She doesn’t have too-

I know, but she wanted to.

“I know you don’t want to come. I can handle Jack and Asa by myself” She insisted, breaking Marc out of his thoughts.

Marc scoffs, they’ve had this argument 100 the last few days since Asa called to tell her her dad passed. “Yeah, right, and leave you to get back together with Jack” He rolled his eyes as he kept walking straight ahead. When he didn’t hear her voice telling him to fuck off, like she had several times since they had been… are they fighting? He turned around to find her glaring at him, arms crossed. He sighs, the bustle of the airport terminal suddenly very loud. “What?”

“That was a dick thing to say” she pointed at him. “And you fucking know it.” Behind her anger was genuine hurt, and Marc didn’t like to see her hurt.

“I’m sorry.”

She softened, but was still on edge. “It’s fine Marc, just… if you’re coming with me, you need to try and behave, or I will not hesitate to kick you out of the shiva.” She was dead serious as she continued walking to their flight. Fuck, Marc needed coffee. He turned to the Starbucks and got in line with Rebecca.

“I know you will, baby” He smirked a bit. “You might be the most terrifying girl I’ve dated.”

“Am I really scarier than Layla?” She asked, smiling at him, then ordering for both of them.

“Hm” he pretended to think it over. “You both have crazy eyes, let's call it a tie”

Marc Elias Spector had been in a lot of situations in his life. Recently, meaning last week, he had agreed to being the avatar for an Egyptian god, because it was slightly better than death. Slightly. But as he sat in Rebecca’s living room with her and her fiance, he wondered if it was too late to choose the other alternative.

Jack didn’t like him. That was okay, he didn’t like Jack. He seemed arrogant, smug, harsh. But the worst part is, Rebecca was nervous. When was the last time he saw Becca nervous? She wasn’t even nervous around her dad. But she was nervous around Jack. She got him food and whiskey and whatever he wanted, and Marc couldn’t quite put his finger on how this felt wrong to him. Rebecca was a caretaker, she took care of Asa, she took care of Marc, and she even took care of her dad in the early years. But this… this felt like serving. This felt like watching Rebecca waitress as he waited for her shift to end.

“So Marc,” Jack starts “Becky tells me you work in Cairo, helping with expeditions?” So that's what she told him. Marc eased a bit, a swell of pride in his chest. Marc and Rebecca didn’t have secrets. Jack and her did.

“Yeah” He nods along with her lie seamlessly. “For now anyway. I tend to go where life takes me”

“Is that why you’re here? Work is too unstable, you need somewhere to crash?” It wasn’t so much what Jack said, but how he said it. He was condescending. Pretty rich boy who had everything laid out for him, felt superior to Marc. Did he know Rebecca’s struggles with housing? Did he make her feel bad for it? Or did she keep that part of her life from him? Was she ashamed of her time homeless, or was she ashamed of Marc?”

Marc felt himself flaring with anger, but he looked at Becca, sitting so far away on the other side of the couch. She could feel the tension. For her, he’d play nice. “Nope” He smiled as best he could. “Just wanted to be here for the wedding” he lied through his teeth.

“I bet you do” Jack smiled. Marc smiled. Becca smiled. Marc swore he saw her mouth ‘fuck’

Silence persisted.

Being in Chicago was not one of Marc’s favorite places to be, but it wasn’t one of the worst. Chicago is a major city, the various bullshit odd jobs he worked would bring him there from time to time, and he got used to being in the vicinity, seeing old sights and the familiar culture. This would be slightly more difficult, as Rebecca’s family was in the same neighborhood as his, but as long as he avoided the surrounding streets to his house, he’d be okay. Rebecca would never ask him to enter that area. She didn’t even ask him to come, honestly. Marc was already going to go, of course, but when he found out Jack was attending the services, he wasn’t going to leave Rebecca alone for a second

This had been… tense, the last few days. There had been times the last two months that they bickered, even fought, but it wasn’t bad. She was hurting, she was suffering. She always apologized, even when she didn’t really need to. That was a byproduct of Jack too. Rebecca was proud, always admitting when she was wong, but never when she wasn’t. Marc allowed her to apologize, picking his battles. She was starting to look more like herself again; color coming back in her face, the chemicals fading out of her hair, allowing it to curl again. She even cut it off again and dyed it closer to her natural color again. She was also acting more like herself, the bickering was evidence of that. But the last few days were different. Marc found himself with a bunch of feelings he couldn’t really discern, an anger in him he didn’t feel comfortable with, an anger that seemed to center around her, and he couldn’t place why.

So he had been distancing himself, not wanting to take his anger out of her in any way, allowing Steven to take the body a majority of the time. Rebecca noticed, but didn’t say anything. He assumed she figured it had to do with going back to Chicago, but there was something else.

When they arrived at Rebecca’s childhood home, he felt the nervousness he often did in their childhood while standing at this very doorstep. Some things never change.

“Marc.” Carl was standing in the doorway. Maybe it’s the memory being distorted by the haze of the past, or maybe he really was towering over Marc. Carl was always tall, that’s where Becca got it. By the end of puberty, Rebecca was an inch taller than Marc, sanding at 5’10. Marc was always on the shorter side, but at 14 he had barely started his growth spurt. Embarrassingly, people thought Rebecca was his older sister in more than one situation. Right now, Marc wished he was taller, stronger, braver. He wanted to fight for her, stand up to her dad, stand up to his mom… but right now, they were both pretty helpless. The most they could do was be there for each other, and protect each other in school. Rebecca’s grades were significantly better, she helped Marc with school so he could avoid getting whipped when grades came in. Likewise, although they never told people they were dating, Marc’s protective grasp on her shoulders out in public and the way they were attached at the hip generally kept her safe from men at school. At 14, he wasn’t exactly the strongest in the high school, but he had absolutely thrown punches for her before. And for other reasons. And for no reason. Point being, although he wasn’t strong, he was known for being a bit crazy. Psycho was thrown around a lot.

“Hello, Mr. Levi” Marc tried his best to be polite. He had seen what Carl had done to Rebecca, and always tried to avoid that, although he suspected he wouldn’t dare, considering his dad's position in the temple. Marc had always told Rebecca he’d talk to his dad for her, get Rebecca and Asa help, but Rebecca had the martyr complex of a catholic. She rationed that Carl only hurt her, not Asa, and being sent to foster care would absolutely hurt him. It wasn’t Marc’s place to make that choice for her, so he minded his business. “Is Becca home?”

Carl looked at him for a moment, considering the boy. “Yeah, she’s in her room, but I think we should have a talk first.” The tone he used was strangely calm, the tone Wendy used before she hurt Marc, it sent a shiver down his spine, but he was in no position to argue, stepping inside the hallway at Carl’s motioning. “What’s going on with you guys.”

Marc had wondered how long until this conversation happened. Elias and Wendy both teased Marc about her, one more gently than the other, but neither malicious. Wendy mostly referred to her as Marc’s “little girlfriend” on good days, or “That Levi girl” on bad ones. His dad hadn’t exactly given him “the sex talk”, school’s lackluster sex ed had covered most of what Marc knew. Not having friends that weren’t Rebecca really cut into his knowledge on the subject, and his dad certainly didn’t have any hidden porno mags to find, so the barebones basics of public education had to due on the mechanical end. What Elias did give him was a very basic, but very straightforward (and very humiliating) talk on consent. Of course, that wasn’t the word he used, but that was the theme of one of the few talks his dad had given him in regards to being a man, and it had happened after Elias asked what his relationship with Rebecca was last year. With a blushing Marc desperately trying to escape the conversation, insisting they were just friends, Elias told him all that he really needed to know about sex. Make sure sh’s comfortable, make sure she actually wants it. Don’t force, don’t beg, don’t bargain for it. Make sure she’s enjoying herself, and stop if she’s not. Years latter, although Marc could write a book on his dads mistakes, he would always respect his dad for not giving the simple “don’t do it”. Marc had barely ever thought about kids, Layla didn’t want them, and he wasn’t really sure he could do it right, but he knew if he ever did, this was one talk he’d pass down to his son.

He had a feeling this is not where Carl was going.

Asa opened the door. “Hey Becca” He greeted his sister with a warm hug, and it seemed like the grief may have swept away some tension, at least for now. “Marc” he extended a hand, which Marc shook. “Thanks for coming, it’s nice to see you again.” He sounded sincere, at least.

“You too Asa. I’m sorry for your loss”

Asa smirked, and looked a little more like the preteen Marc knew way back. “No, you’re not, but it’s fine, please, come in.”

Rebecca went right to work with the groceries that were delivered, prepping for the gathering after the funeral. People from the temple would probably drop by, offer condolences, and maybe stop to chat to see what the gossip was on Asa and Rebecca’s lives, but no one really liked Carl, and their family wasn’t that big. Marc could tell she was nervous. Jack was literally only going to be there to piss torment Rebecca and piss off Marc. Men like Jack usually separated their partners from their family, Jack’s method was a bit different. Jack was big on portraying perfection, abusive families and sibling tensions wouldn’t do. Rebecca was forced back into a relationship with her dad and brother. She wasn’t upset about seeing Asa, she counted that as a blessing, but Jack was in total control, stepping into the role Marc occupied before, hence Asa taking Jack’s side in the divorce. They still played video games online regularly, despite not talking to Rebecca since she left, until he called to let her know their dad had a heart attack.

Services went as expected, a jewish funeral despite Carl’s lack of participation in the faith. When he felt Rebecca’s hand squeeze Marc’s hard, he knew that meant she spotted Jack. She remained strong, always so strong, his pillar, his rock. He would be that for her.

Marc didn’t leave her side for a second. She spent most of her time in the kitchen prepping and plating and cooking, not exactly eager to be in the room with her family who all just adored Jack. He watched her angrily cut a cucumber with the aggression of a butcher. “You doing okay Beccs? We can-”

She slammed the knife on the cutting board, and Marc was thankful she couldn’t see him startle. “Marc Spector, suggest we leave again and I’m kicking you out.” She stared at the wall ahead of her.

“Beccs-”

She turned to him. “Don’t ‘Beccs’ me, Marc, you don’t want to be here, so just go, go back to the hotel, or go back to New York, I don’t fucking care, I’ll deal with this myself.”

He groaned. “Of course I don’t want to be here Rebecca! Nothing good happened her, not in this house, not in this city, nothing, being here brings back bad memories I try my damnest to forget, and I don’t understand why you insist on being here!”

“He’s my dad”

Marc threw up his hands. “I get it, Rebecca! I get it, you’re morally superior to me, you go to your dads funeral, you forgive him after everything he did to you, you forgive Jack, again and again, you’re better than me, I get it”

Marc… mate…

Rebecca stared at him, and Marc braced for a fight, for her to yell at him and for them to bicker like they had been, but instead her face just softened. “Is that why you’ve been so upset this week?”

“Yes” He practically whined out, feeling relief at being able to pinpoint the source of his anger.

“Honey…” She took his hand. “I’m not blaming you for not going to your mom's shiva… I don’t think I’m better than you. Our lives were very, very different, your relationship with Wendy was very different. You hadn’t even talked to her for, what? A decade? You did what you could, and I don’t blame you for the choices you made. My dad and I… things were more complicated, there was good and bad”

Marc closed his eyes, shaking his head. “There was good with us to, it’s just… it’s hard to separate it from the rest”

Rebecca wrapped her hands around his waist, drawing the man she loved in for a hug, relieved to know where the tension that had surrounded them came from. “Marc, honey, I know. These things will always be complicated. We have to deal with them in our own way. For me, this is closure. Laying it all to rest. For you, it would be letting her win.” She kissed his forehead softly. “I’m so proud of you, I’ve always been so fucking proud of you. You’ve come so far, despite everything, and you’ve done so much of it alone.”

He shook his head as he nestled into her neck, smelling her. “No, not alone. I had you, I had Layla, I had Steven, even if he didn’t know it.”

“Baby, you shouldered so much alone, don’t mitigate how far you’ve come, how strong you are, I’m so, so proud”

They stayed like that for a moment, so lost in the embrace that they didn’t notice anyone enter the room.

“I expected as much”

Jack

Marc felt felt her rip on his tighten, and he turned her away from where the voice was, putting his body between them.

“What. Is. Going on with you guys?” Carl repeated, when Marc was too scared to answer.

“Nothing sir” He managed to get out, trying not to shake, trying to stand tall and brave.

“You guys aren’t fucking?”

Looking back, Marc couldn’t fathom every saying that to a 14 year old his daughter was friends with, but Carl had no tact.

“No sir, we’re friends”

Carl laughed at that, putting a hand on Marc’s shoulder. “That’s what they always say”

Wincing at the touch, he put his brave face back on, refusing to back down. “We’re not-ah!” Carl’s grip on his shoulder squeezed down painfully tight, digging into his skill, and all Marc’s mustered bravado dissipated.

“I honestly don’t care, but I ain’t raising another kid”

If Marc was less terrified, he’d laugh at that. Becca raised herself and Asa.

Carl continued. “You get her pregnant, I will kill both of you.” He shoved Marc into a side table, causing Marc to fall down into it, the commission drawing Becca out of her room at the end of the hall.

When she saw Marc on the floor, she quickly ran to him, but was stopped when her dad clamped a hand over her mouth, shoving her against the wall. “I’ll tell you what I told your little boyfriend. You can be a whore all you want, but you get knocked up, you’re both dead. Understood?”

Unable to speak with the hand over her, she simply glared at him, unwilling to give in.

His hold on her face began bruising, making Rebecca yelp. “Is that clear? Or do I have to ask Marc?”

She glanced over to where Marc was frozen on the floor. She didn’t want him hurt. Rebecca swallowed her pride and nodded. Carl let go, and walked away, mumbling obscenities about Rebecca she didn’t even hear, she was quickly at Marc’s side. “C’mon, let’s go to the library, start on that paper”

“I’m sorry” He muttered as he stood up, shaking from the interaction.

She helped him stand. “For what?”

“For no stopping him, I wanted to… but I just… I froze” Marc looked down, embarrassed, his masculinity already at a low point, this did not help.

“Marc” She steadied him, forcing him to look her in the eye. “It is not your job to protect me. I can handle myself”

“I know”

But Marc felt like it was his job to protect her, ever since that first act of kindness she shared with him, and he continued to feel that way for the next 2 decades together. As they exited the house, Marc heard steps and turned around, catching Asa watching them leave with a look in his eyes Marc couldn’t read.

Jack was munching on a latke. “Good stuff. You always did like your food.” He punctuated the comment with a glance to her stomach.

Rebecca held Marc back by his shirt. “Jack, let’s not do this”

Asa entered the room. “Do what?” He frowned at Marc, who was clearly postering, gearing up for a fight.

Jack answered. “Rebecca is holding Marc back from fighting me” It wasn’t a lie, but a bit dramatic.

Asa scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fucking hell you two, this is why I didn’t want you to come. It’s always dramatics with you two!”

Marc scoffed. “Dramatics? Asa, you invited your sister's ex-husband-”

“We’re still married,” Jack reminded them.

Marc ignored him. “To your dad shiva, that’s insane! Do you have any idea what he did to her?”

Asa crossed his arms. “I know all about the divorce, Spector, that’s half the reason dad had the heart attack!”

“You’re blaming me for that?”

“YES!” Asa shouted. “It’s always you Marc! Ever since I can remember you’ve caused her problems! Jesus, the amount of time he kicked her stomach because he thought you knocked her up-”

Marc didn’t know that, but when he turned to Rebecca, the guilty look on her face confirmed she had never intended on him finding out.

Jack was smirking, allowing the scene to play out.

Asa continued. “All this time, you constantly fucked her life up, constantly got in the way of things, leading her on, then she finally moves on from you, gets married, and you can’t even let her have that?”

Marc felt like he could burst out of his skin. The suit he had rented was stiff and uncomfortable, the church was way too much. Too hot, too noisy, to crowded. Everything was happening at once. Were christian churches always like this? He picked at a scab on his arm, cracked his knuckles, and tore at his nails, trying to find something for his fingers to do to calm him, but Christ, when was this supposed to start? He checked his watch. 10 minuets ago. He supposed it was normal for weddings to start late, all the girls needing their hair and make up done, the guys running off to grab one thing or another, everyone probably drunk by this point. Did baptists drink? Yeah, yeah, they did, it was in the services. Wait, no, that was the catholics. Were baptists the ones that did the speaking in tongues? Or was that pentecostals? Or Calvinists? No, Calvinists were the ones with the really bleak outlook. Was Calvinism a religion or a philosophy? Which one was the 19 Kids and Counting people?

Marc was interrupted from his strange thought process by a hand on his shoulder. “Marc?”

It was Asa, all dressed up for his role as a groomsman. Damn, he hadn’t seen the kid in a long time, he really grew up.

“Hey man” Marc stood up, shaking the hand of the boy he had thought of as a little brother for much of his early life, but who had become a stranger. “Good to see you.”

He nodded, not impressed. “She’s asking for you”

“Who?”

“Who the fuck else do you know here?”

Rude, but the point was made.

Marc frowned. “Why?”

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Asa practically dragged Marc out of the pew. “I don’t know, but she won’t walk until you talk to her”

Asa dragged him to the door to where Rebecca was, through a sea of bridesmaids and a wedding party he didn’t recognize a face of. Must all be Jack’s friends.

Marc went to open the door, but Asa stopped him. “Marc, listen. I know we haven't gotten along the last few years, but I need you to do this for me” he was serious, earnest, but Marc was wary, nodding for Asa to continue with his request. “Let her have this” He must have seen the confusion in Marc’s face. “Whatever it is you two have had, it needs to end. At least in the form it’s been in. She cannot keep waiting for you to pop in and out of her life. She needs a new start, and this is it. Jack is good for her, keeps her focused, takes care of her. She has a good life with him. I don’t know what she needs you for but.” Asa closed his eyes and sighed before opening them. “But don’t get in the way of her happiness, Spector. Please, man to man” There was a pleading look in Asa’s eyes.

Marc wondered if Asa was right, had Marc gotten in the way of Rebecca’s life? ‘Whatever it is you two have had’ what did Asa think they had? Did Rebecca say something? Did she have the same feelings Marc felt?

Asa took his hand off the handle, and Marc entered the room. Rebecca was pacing the floor, turning when she heard it open.

Marc watched Asa’s face for a while. The little boy he had helped raise had changed a lot over the years, for better or for worse, but even after everything, even after all the fights he had witnessed Becca get in over the years, he cared deeply for his sister, his mind had just been skewed and manipulated by their dad and Jack, not unlike Rebecca. Marc was about to let him have this, to back down like Becca’s touch requested of him, when she spoke.

“You think Marc is the reason all this happened?”

All three men turned to her.

“Marc has done nothing but try to protect me since he was 9 years old, Asa. You are too young to remember a time before him, but dad was always like that! And Jack? Jack and I aren’t getting a divorce because of Marc, we’re getting a divorce because he beat the shit out of me!”

Asa’s brow furrowed in confusion, glancing at Jack with suspicion.

“This” She motioned to the pink scar on her face. “I didn’t trip and spill coffee, Jack threw tea at me!”

Marc watched as Rebecca laid it open for Asa, finally letting her brother in on the secrets she’d been keeping.

Jack tried to deny it, but she talked over him, only booking at her brother as she stepped forward. “Dad attempted to make me miscarry an imaginary baby, but he,” she pointed at Jack “He purposely got me pregnant, which I did not agree too, and then beat me so bad I bruised my rips and actually miscarried.”

Asa believed her, turning to Jack. “What the actual fuck man?”

Jack stayed cool, calm, attempting to talk his way out of it. “I didn’t do shit, c’mon Asa, you know me.”

Asa looked to Rebecca.

She looked at him gently, eyes filled with a sadness he rarely saw in her. “Asa, I wouldn’t lie to you, not about this”

Asa wanted to believe Jack. It was easier to believe Jack, to believe their dad, to hate Marc and blame him for Rebecca’s choices, but when he looked at them… All he could see was the ever-honest, painfully honest face of the woman who raised him, and the friend who had been there when his dad wasn’t. “Jack, get the fuck out.”

“Asa-”

“GET OUT!” Asa shouted, placing himself between Jack and his sister.

Jack turned to Rebecca “This isn’t over, I’m dragging this divorce out as long as possible, and I’ll bleed you dry while doing it”

Marc stepped back up. “Leave without making a scene, or I swear to god-”

Jack turned to Marc “I will fucking kill you” Before leaving.

Asa started to go after him for that threat, but Marc caught his shoulder. Asa turned quickly into Marc, taking him in an embrace. “I’m sorry” he muttered, apologizing for the last 20 years of near-silence and anger

Rebecca joined their hug. “Oh Ace, it’s okay”

Marc held him in a hug, relieved to have both the people he grew up with in his arms, safe, out of Jack and Carl’s grasp.

“Becc, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know” She pulled back, brushing a dark curl that wasn’t unlike Marc’s out of his face. “Let’s get through day one of the shiva, we can talk more after people leave, okay?”

Feeling more like a baby brother than he had in years, Asa nodded.

She was stunning, something straight out of a wedding magazine. Extensions in her hair that was half up, the rest in loose curls that cascaded from a tiara. The dress had to be designer, an a-line off the shoulder, low neckline and floral and lace detailing, something she looked beautiful in, but so distinctly not her.

Her face lit up when she saw him. ‘Marc! HI!” She stayed away from him, instead of rushing to take his hand like she used to. Marc supposed this was more appropriate, seeing as she was always married.

“Hey, metukah, what’s going on?”

She wrung her hand nervously. Since when was her nervous? “I’m just… just anxious, thats all. Big day” A slight chuckle. She was hiding something.

“Are you… are you having second thoughts?”

Her face faltered. “Well, not exactly… just… thoughts in general…”

He paused. This could be it. He could tell her. Two decades after meeting, 15 or so years after they gave their bodies to each other that night, he could do it. He could tell her loved her. He could take her away. “Becca.. Do you want to go?”

She hesitated. “I… I don’t know…”

“Is something wrong with him? Did Jack do anything?”

Rebecca shook her head. She wasn’t lying. He knew when she was lying, which was rare. “I’m just nervous”

“Why did you want to talk to me?” Give me something, he thought something that says you love me.

“You’re my best friend”

Was he? They had spoken less and less since she started seeing Jack…

He could tell her. He should tell her.

I love you I love you I love you

Are you sure you want her in this right now?

A chill ran through Marc’s spin with that ever more familiar voice in his head, he didn't dare look to the side. He knew who was standing there, a grim reminder of who he had become.

Marc didn’t have a stable job, a steady incoming, consistent housing.

He was the avatar for a god

He was a killer

He couldn’t provide anything for her. He never had been able to give her what she deserves, what Jack can. With Jack, she’ll never have to worry about living on the streets or when she’s going to eat. Jack’s never killed.

Marc thought through the faces of everyone he killed, every death he was responsible for.

She deserved better than what he could offer her.

“Rebecca, honey, it’s just jitters, that’s all” It killed him to say it. “He’ll take care of you, you’ll be happy.” Marc had to fight back the anger at himself, the frustration he felt, the tears of helplessness. This wasn’t his life. He couldn’t give her anything. This was the life she deserved. Pretty things, safety, security. He approached her, taking both her hands in his. “Rebecca, you make a beautiful bride”

She nodded, taking in the sight of him, and for a moment he could almost imagine he was at the alter with her, that it was him she was marrying… he let go on her hands before the fantasy took over.

When the night ended and guests left, Marc, Becca and Asa sat in the living room like they had done countless times throughout the years, catching up, reminiscing, hashing over old beefs and memories. Marc sensed a change, a change for the better.

They were a family again.

***************

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!!

Come check out my spotify playlist!!!!

likes are beautiful, reblogs help a lot, and comments mean the world! I love you all!

I need to make a masterlist but I cant make headers or moodboards for shit so if anyone wants to make something I'll give you credit XD

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ninebluehearts @sofi786 @myfandomlikesandstories @tippycakes26 @ahookedheroespureheart @arsonfrogger

Lmk if you'd like to join the tag list!

#marc spector #marc spector fluff #marc spector fanfic #marc spector moon knight #jewish marc spector #marc spector jewish reader #marc spector jewish oc #marc spector oc #marc spector reader #moon knight #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fanfiction #marc spector hurt comfort #marc spector needs a hug

26 notes · View notes

appalachianapologies · 1 year

Note

More GA au thoughts 😅

But I was watching our staff baby(just about the cutest thing ever my word) and I couldn’t help but think about Jack watching over baby Mac. like babies(in my personal opinion) inspire such protectiveness because they literally can’t defend themselves. And Jack Freaking Dalton is a guardian and protector to his core.

I mean, think about it. Baby Mac laying in his crib. Alone for hours. Maybe he’s got a dirty diaper and he’s crying softly. Maybe he’s hungry. Maybe he’s learn(even at a few months old) that no one is coming. And he looks up to see Jack leaning over him. And he just grins up at him. Ughhhh

This is just a rant about babies and Jack and Mac and how this is the ultimate state of vulnerability and Jack is still there and Jack is watching out and Jack cares when no one else does.

Does he change Mac? Does he get him a bottle? Does he cover him up with blankets? Does he hum the lullaby he heard from a different parent an age ago? Idk but it’s so much fun to think about 🥺

hehehe so we have this snippet from Chapter Eleven of Upon taking lethal damage, enter resurrection,

“I wasn’t just there in the shadows, Mac,” Jack replies. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. For as long as I was able, knowing that when you grew up you’d never be able to remember it, I was there with you. You used to lay there in a crib and just cry.”

Even with the street lamps, Mac can barely see Jack’s face in the moonlight. “You expect me to believe that?”

“But you weren’t like other babies. You never ever cried loudly. Never screeched. And unless you were making a racket, your parents would never check on you during the day.”

Mac’s throat feels tight. “That’s not true.”

“You’d lay there, for hours at a time, tears silently falling from your face. You were uncomfortable, I could tell that, but you’d never make any noise. So I’d stand there with you, knowing that you wouldn’t remember, and that your parents wouldn’t ever go upstairs and accidentally see me.”

which is all that Mac really knows (at the end of part I Mac has begun to understand that the nice warm and soft feeling is from jack, but doesn't know it's from his wings). What he doesn't know is that it was times like these that kind of made Jack more... human? Gave him all of those human emotions and feelings of needing to protect someone who can't protect themselves.

Jack has definitely hummed and sang songs to Mac (I'll paste a part of one of the Jack drabbles below), he'd cover smol Mac with his wings to keep him warm and safe, and just. UGH the feelings you are making me feel!!!

It isn’t strictly life-saving, but Jack still reaches out. Barely touches the baby’s fist with his first finger, pausing when he uncurls those little fingers and wraps them around Jack’s offered appendage. The entire fist barely reaches up two knuckles, but the grip is stronger than Jack was expecting.

Slowly, and far too quiet for anyone else in the house to hear, Jack begins to hum.

Some song that he heard a million times because Ellen had a cassette tape she listened to every day when she drove to work, and this song was the second track on side one. Jack’s heard it at least twice every day for months.

The song itself doesn’t mean anything to the baby, Jack knows that much, but maybe it’s the soft humming that calms him down. Whatever the case may be, the squirming stops, and his other hand slowly uncurls until it’s back to five small fingers attached to an open palm.

Though the one holding onto Jack’s finger stays tight.

When he falls back asleep, Jack will take his finger back. Disappear back to a place where humans can’t see him. Can’t comprehend him.

full drabble here

#ga au #firstly UGH i have baby fever #secondly sorry this post is this long lmao #i have #i have SO many feelings about this AU and it is functionally my baby atm #laura i need you to know i've started part 2 literally three times and have deleted those beginnings all three times #because it wasn't exactly what i needed and it's #OUGH #it needs to be perfect and it's not 😭#i tried to start it in different ways and none of them were flowing #soon though #soon #SOON.#ily laura <3 #asks #bold and nosy #we love bold and nosy very much

3 notes · View notes

selfindulgentfandomstuff · 1 year

Note

1-5 with Emmet!! :DD

HIII TYY!!! :D

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

Name: Emmett Becker

Age: 25 (at start of the show)

Height: 5'9

Pronouns: they/he

Gender: Demiguy/transmasculine nonbinary

Orientation: bisexual + biromantic (male lean)

Education: UCLA undergrad (aged 16-19), Stanford masters and PhD (aged 19-24)

Occupation (former): worked in academic research at Stanford (25)

Occupation (current): works for Phoenix Foundation (25+)

Qualifications: doctorate degree in abnormal human psychology, experience in the research/academia world, high intelligence and adaptability

Misc:

-autistic + ADHD

-recruited by Phoenix Foundation by MacGyver's recommendation

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Season 1 Episode 8, Corkscrew (the episode when Murdoc is first introduced as well), is when Emmett makes his entrance. Having only been working at the Phoenix Foundation for a short while, Emmett is understandably a bit daunted by the thought of having to profile a criminal as dangerous as Murdoc but they are able to do just that and help put him away in federal prison, at least, for awhile anyway...

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

Angus 'Mac' MacGyver: close friends; met at MIT while Mac was briefly in college and Emmett was studying as a transfer student there and hit it off! Remained in touch after both left (Mac, dropping out to join the army and Emmett moving back to Stanford); later reunited after Mac suggested Emmett join Phoenix and Matty subsequently recruited them

Jack Dalton: good friends; met when Emmett joined Phoenix; looks out for Emmett, realizing they are a little defenseless, being recruited out of academia as opposed to already being in the intelligence world; protective of them but still prone to ribbing them a bit, he's not trying to be mean, that's just Jack :); easily the first person to throw hands at whoever misgenders Emmett

Riley Davis: good friends; met when Emmett joined Phoenix; bonds over shared interest in computers, though Riley is infinitely more adept at them than Emmett; Riley teaches Emmett some of what she knows in her spare time; Emmett soaks it up eagerly, learning new things and spending time with a friend, perfection!

Wilt Bozer: good friends; met soon after Bozer had learned the truth about Mac's work and the Phoenix Foundation; eager to get to know one of Mac's other friends, seeing as he's Mac's oldest childhood friend; Emmett is the only one who welcomes Bozer's cooking endeavors and is happy to eat whatever he cooks, save for meat items; in turn, Bozer learns some new vegetarian recipes for his newest friend

Matilda 'Matty' Webber: good friends; met when Matty recruited Emmett out of academia at Mac's suggestion; initially Emmett was incredibly intimidated by Matty and she wasn't exactly friendly, but over time the two get fairly close and its obvious they care for each other; Matty is willing to pull strings to take care of her employees, including Emmett

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

Emmett is a side character in the way that they don't appear in every episode, but enough of them that the viewer gets attached, even if they are consorting with Murdoc, a known antagonist. Despite their affiliation with Murdoc, they still are considered a protagonist of the show due to their working for the Phoenix Foundation with MacGyver and the others!! (and the fact that in my canon, they kinda domesticate Murdoc a little lol; he eventually works with the Phoenix Foundation, helping catch other criminals!)

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

No special powers or abilities aside from being freakishly smart with a freakishly good capacity for retaining information! They also are surprisingly adept with projectile weapons, including several types of guns and of course with a bow and arrows, owing to their archery training in formative years. Not that they ever are using these weapons in actual combat unless in dire situations in the field, of course.

#i love you just a little too much #self insert: emmett becker #s/i: emmett becker #selfship asks #asks #self insert asks #selfshippinglover

1 note · View note

the-firebird69 · 1 year

Text

You have several characters and one of them was Rodney well it was really Ryan and you were the one who was sitting the dinner table and they knew who you were he was sitting there pestering him about his illness that you caused with risperdal and Prilosec and you caused it in tons of the higher ups and the other one who did the surgery because Sherry was found out and she was found out in American werewolves in London and BG is the one who knows because CAA said that's the girl from one flow of the cuckoo's nest and it's Sherry and they did the surgeries and she turned States evidence and says it wasn't me it wasn't my idea and she had or he had Jack Nicholson choke me out so I allowed it to happen I did a lot of damage to you higher ups I'll say that but I didn't do it and I was forced to assist so I guess I'm complicitous but really what are you going to do against the bully like him who has all these clones already and he did start in westborough and I know where it's near the state hospital and he went in there and he's trying to get him out nobody would let him out so he started hitting people and yeah he ran over the guy with the pickup truck that's in super 8 he ran over the worker and that was Ken Baker and he's a higher up Sherry says. The huge number of times you mess with him and you're ruining things that they need and it's because you're young and your Chris bossy and your Ozzy Osbourne and you are on crack and cocaine and alcohol and you're not very bright and you're not old some of the stuff that Tommy Allen knows would blow you away on things you're messing up it's going to be proven too I'm sure you want to Max monsters who wants to turn around but you messed him up really bad a lot of people suspect it was you they can't tell who did it because they don't see it in the film they only see the retards and Trump holding you down and zapping your frontal lobe. And our son says there are some visitors and their agents and that was him and they arrested Trump pulled him out and did the surgery and that's what Sherry testified to and she'll probably get hurt but it's not going to be by them and they said it they said you were forthright and you came forward and we know what your situation and status is it's similar to his no and similar to most women you're powerless I took guts to do and she's under witness protection

Bitol and Goddess Wife

If issued several APB and Watson you stand we've already done the research you're a huge a****** and you influenced Billy z to do what he did and your clones fought and they're still fighting and you're beating each other up in the streets and your animals and it's too much we need you out of here and this is crap but we're going to arrest you and interrogate you and we need to know about the light computers and Alexander if you did that to them so help me God you're so dead.

Mac

I do know who that is in space Odyssey 2001 is John remillard he says it's probably him or did it we do understand something he was killed that day we think and nobody's admitted it but nobody knows and they do incinerate people in a different building I did look like the one in the movie and we thought that was Ernie and he says it probably was but now Arnie is missing. It's true is he showed up near the sheriff's office and so I was making him jealous and we found you behind him found a lot of people there your cohorts the other massive cloners it's a crime cloning is illegal I'm saying this to DC we need assistance this is terrible I'm saying to bite him too because my grand nephew requests it

Mac Daddy

0 notes

haynesvargas95 · 2 years

Text

Tips For Keeping Your Automobile In Tip-Top Shape

Learning about auto repair isn't as hard as you may think it to be. Learning all you can now will come in handy in the future. By reading code xtream iptv m3u , you should increase your knowledge on when to take your vehicle to a professional and when to attempt to do the repair yourself. When doing your own work on your automobile, you want to make sure you never take things too far in error. code xtream iptv m3u saving yourself some money by doing it yourself, but if you're not sure about something, you need to find out or let a professional handle the matter. You could end up costing yourself so much money. Check the transmission fluid every two to three months. Let your engine run and open the hood of your car. Use the transmission dipstick to check the fluid levels. If there is free stbemu portal mac in your transmission you probably have a leak somewhere in your system. It is best to take the car to a mechanic so he can locate the leak. Make sure the oil in your vehicle is changed about every 3,000 miles. Waiting longer for an oil change can result in dirt and debris fouling your oil and that can damage your engine. If you use synthetic oil in your vehicle, you only need to change the filter every other oil change. It is important that you fully understand what all the charges will be upfront, before handing the mechanic your car keys. Should you need clarification about the repairs, speak with the service manager or your mechanic before work begins. Don't end up surprised by extra fees. When trying to get an estimate for the cost of your auto repairs, ask the technician how they calculate the cost. There are some shops that charge your a flat rate for parts and labors, but others will try and charge you a fee for each hour they spend fixing your car. Keep your car clean to prevent rust. All cars will eventually rust out, but you can delay the process considerably by making sure any salt or chemicals are washed off as soon as possible. Wax is also important. If you take your car to a mechanic, make sure they have the proper licenses and credentials. Before making your appointment, check their reviews online and their standing with the Better Business Bureau. Don't just look at the positive reviews, but see how the company responds to negative feedback. Every business has the occasional problem, and if they handle the matter quickly and courteously, they may be worth a second look. Have a DIY kit for auto repair in your car at all times. For instance, if anything dealing with tire changes came with the car, have this in your car. If you're missing a lug wrench and jack, then you need to buy one. A few good screwdrivers, wrenches and a socket wrench can also come in handy for any unexpected road-side issues. Never skimp when buying tools. Get sturdy, quality tools that will not break on you. Try to find an auto repair shop that is located close to where you live or work. This may not seem like a big deal, but you do not want to have a hard time getting there when it is time for you to go and pick up your vehicle after it is repaired. Remember that you don't have to go to your dealer to get auto repair work done. There are many great technicians all over the place. Whoever makes you feel most comfortable is the person who should be doing the car repairs. Check tire pressure each time you fill your tank. Examine the tires for anything that might be stuck in them. Any problems should be repaired pronto. Driving with faulty tires is extremely dangerous. Watch for warning signs with a mechanic. There are a few signs to look for when you speak with them about your car. If they try talking really fast about the necessary repairs, can't look you in the eye when talking to you, or try to brush you off, you should find another mechanic. They may be hiding something or they may only care about the money. Some basic knowledge of car repair can protect you from difficulties that cost you time and worry. By knowing how to fix small repairs and which mechanic to select for the larger repairs, you can save yourself a lot of time and money. These tips will help you if you need to fix your car.

#free stbemu portal mac

1 note · View note

forestlingincorporated · 3 years

Text

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People.

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them.

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent.

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.)

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction.

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children.

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically.

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation.

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear.

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect.

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?)

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but...

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7.

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.)

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics.

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two.

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about.

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural.

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries.

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance.

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other.

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent.

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart.

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist.

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well.

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child.

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive.

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you.

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt.

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh...

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating?

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting.

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t.

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so.

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet.

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom.

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought.

#Tim Drake #janet drake #jack drake #robin #Red Robin #character analysis

1K notes · View notes

luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

By Your Doorstep (Part 9)

Summary: The reader and Tessa spend their first Christmas with the Winchesters and their friends, resulting in an eventful night...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Please enjoy this final part! I loved writing this one and exploring everything this series had to offer!

_________

Reader’s POV

Christmas Night

“Hello ladies,” said Dean, popping his head out from the hall and into the room Tessa was staying in. “Mind if I steal your sister?”

“Go for it,” she said, jumping up from bed and rushing over to her suitcase. She pulled out a box and held it out. “I thought I left it at home but Y/N found it in the hall. It’s your other present.”

“The zip up was very nice of you already,” he said. He tore off the paper and you smirked from bed, Dean making a face as he looked at the box.

“It’s a mug. I made it in art class,” she said. He opened the package and went wide eyed, staring at her as he pulled it out.

“Tessa, this is really good,” he said, smiling at the little D.W. she’d painted on the side. “You made this?”

“Yeah. I’m good at ceramics,” she said with a shrug. “If you don’t like it that’s okay.”

“I have a new favorite mug,” he said, giving her a hug. “I can drink out of it, right?”

“Yeah. It’s fine for using and dishwasher, all that,” she said.

“Well I for one am glad you are getting your minor in art next year,” he said.

“Really?”

“School’s important but you gotta have some fun,” he said. “This is one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten.”

“I made everybody one,” she said with a shrug. “I gotta give Sam his still.”

“I think he’s out with Eileen and a few other people in the hot tub.”

“I was gonna go hang out with Jack, maybe we’ll head out there,” she said. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Make smart choices,” he teased as she walked out. You stood up from bed and walked out to the hall, wrapping your arms around his waist. “She loves me.”

“Yes she does,” you said, a big smile on his face. “You like that, huh?”

“Yes, I do. Besides, I gotta get her on board if I want you,” he said. “How am I doing so far?”

“Oh so you’re curious if I love you,” you said.

“More than you could possibly understand,” he said. You smiled and stood up on your tip toes, throwing your arms around his shoulders.

“Dean. I love you.”

“Good because I love you,” he said.

“That’s very good,” you said. He gave you a kiss, resting his hands along your hips.

“Wanna take a walk with me?” he asked. You nodded and let him take your hand, following him downstairs and into the foyer where you dressed in your coats and boats, hats and scarves. You walked out the front with him and down the driveway a ways until you were on the private road up there, twinkle lights adorned in the trees.

“This really is beautiful up here, Dean,” you said, your gloved hands laced together.

“It is. Never really thought this would ever be my life growing up,” he said.

“We had holidays like this when we were younger,” you said. “It’s not really about the presents or the lights at the end of the day though.”

“No, it’s definitely not,” he said. “I know we only got here yesterday but are you enjoying it so far?”

“More than. I don’t dread these things anymore. I don’t dread life anymore.”

“Can I ask what your plans are for once Tessa goes to school next year? I know she’ll be living at home but she’s gonna be out and about more often,” he said.

“I don’t really know,” you said. “What about you?”

“Sammy’s interested in the place two doors down across the street. He might put an offer in,” said Dean.

“What ya asking Dean?”

“If you asked me six months ago if I ever thought I’d love someone, I’d have said no that wasn’t for me. But then I met you and things changed. I’ve never really asked if you’re a marriage kind of gal I guess.”

“If I loved him I would marry him. I’d have a family of our own with him too,” you said. Dean nodded and you bumped his shoulder. “Death is the price we pay for living. But I think what I’ve learned these past six months is that caring and loving someone is worth the pain at the end of the day. The pain subsides and it’s still there but it doesn’t destroy you anymore. So yeah, I’m definitely open to marriage and kids and the dog with the white picket fence thing.”

“My fence is brown,” he chuckled.

“I can look past that detail,” you said. “Would you ever consider marriage?”

“Yes. I absolutely would,” he said. You smiled and he squeezed your hand. “You think I’m gonna like...propose or something now?”

“I think I love you and anything else, whenever or if ever that may be, it would just be a cherry on top,” you said. “I don’t need a ring or to be Mrs. Winchester to tell me how I feel.”

“I figured as much. Safer to ask though,” he said. He reached into his pocket with his free hand and held out a small wrapped box to you. “Merry Christmas sweetheart.”

You dropped his hand so you could unwrap it, finding a black box inside. You took off the lid and smiled, looking back over to Dean.

“You like it?” he asked shyly, blush appearing on his cheeks. “Tessa helped me pick it out.”

“Dean are you proposing?” you asked. He cocked his head and you turned the empty ring back towards him, his face falling.

“Oh my God. Oh my God,” he said, covering his face. “I never put it back in the box. It’s at home. Oh my God I’m so dumb.”

“Dean,” you smiled, tilting your head and wrapping your arms around him. “Is there something you’d like to ask me?”

“It would make this idiot very happy if you decided to marry him,” he said with a smile.

“M’kay,” you said, pulling him down for a deep kiss. “That’s a yes by the way.”

“Even if I’m an idiot?”

“Told you I don’t need a ring, Winchester,” you said. “Just need you...Mr. & Mrs. Winchester has a nice ring to it though.”

“Technically it’s Dr. and…” he trialed off as you kissed him again. “God I love you.”

“I love you,” you said, throwing your arms over his shoulders. He tripped and fell back in the snow, laughing as you went with him. “Fuck I love the shit out of you.”

“I second that,” he said, rolling you to your back and kissing you. “Your sister is a hard nut to crack you know.”

“Did you ask her about this?”

“She’s very protective of big sis...but she said some very sweet things to me,” he said.

“She’s a sucker for you guys,” you said. “But she’s not the only one.”

You rolled over and meant to put him on his back but you ended up shifting and rolling down the hill with him, landing in a big pile of snow. You couldn’t see him at first but he was giggling like a kid and it was just about the best sound you’d ever heard in your life.

“I love you,” you said as you sat up. He propped himself up on his elbows and grinned. You jumped on top of him and rolled around in the snow, throwing snowballs and playing until both your jeans were soaked through and the cold was getting to be a bit much.

“Hey. You want to warm up with me in the shower?” he said.

“Absolutely,” you said. You walked back up the hill with him, picking up the box from the road. He threw his arm over your shoulders and tugged you close into his side. “Maybe we can even have a little fun in that jacuzzi tub.”

“That’s my girl,” he chuckled.

“That’s my boy,” you said, taking off your hat and pulling it over his head.

“I can get used to that.” He took off your hat and his baseball cap, putting the cap on you and tugging your hat back on.

“You’re never getting that blue Henley back by the way,” you said.

“You’re never getting your black hoodie back,” he said. You stopped and he pushed his hat down over your face.

“Dork,” you said, pushing it up and wrapping an arm around his waist. You walked up the road, chilly when you walked back inside. You took off your coat and boots, tossing everything on the rack.

You caught Sam and Tessa peeking their heads down the hall, both of them in their bathing suits. They stared at you and Dean, both dripping water.

“Yes we’re engaged,” you said.

“Yes!” said Tessa, Sam giving her a high five.

“Finally,” said Sam.

“Don’t you two have people to go make out with in the hot tub?” said Dean.

“Gah, like I’d do that in front of him,” said Tessa.

“I was having a perfectly good time with Eileen until you and Jack-“

“Goodnight guys,” you said.

“They got engaged!” shouted Sam, different parts of the house shouting back. Dean pulled you up the staircase and down to your room, locking the door behind you.

“Hi,” you grinned, kissing his nose.

“Hi. Wanna warm up?”

“After you, sweetheart.”

Three Months Later

“I’m beat,” said Dean, arm slung over your shoulders as the two of you walked up the street towards your house. You’d spent the day helping Sam and Eileen move into Sam’s new house just down the road, sticking around to unpack dishes and boxes long after everyone else had gone home.

“Our boy is all grown up,” you teased, Dean leaning against you. “Happy Sammy’s so close by?”

“Yup,” he said with a smile. “I think us older siblings did an alright job.”

“We still have to get Tessa through college,” you said.

“She’ll be fine. She wants to major in medicine sciences. I may or may not be able to help her out there some,” he said.

“Nerd,” you said, getting a smack on the ass from him. “Boy.”

“Girl,” he said, smirking and kissing your cheek. “It’s not the easiest thing in the world, I know, but she’s smart. We can all help her out. Except her art minor homework. I have no clue on that,” he said.

“First semester will probably be the roughest.”

“She’ll be okay,” he said. “What I am worried about it the fact she’s making us dinner tonight.”

“Ten bucks says it’s box mac and cheese.”

“Oh she informed me that it would be epic. I have high expectations,” he said.

“Hm, that must clearly be a good sign,” you said, nodding to your front porch where a very burnt tray of something sat on the step.

“Is it too late for takeout?” he chuckled.

“Let’s hope not,” you said, climbing up the steps. “We’re home!”

“How’d it go? We saw the...wait...it smells shockingly good in here,” said Dean, taking off his coat.

“I’m a better chef than you two give me credit for,” she said from the kitchen, humming as she worked over the stove. “I burnt the biscuits but everything else is nearly done.”

“If it tastes as good as it smells we should have you cook for us more often,” you said.

“Laugh it up,” she said. Dean pulled you upstairs and you washed off the sweat of working all day, changing into something relaxing in time to walk downstairs and spot Tessa setting plates down at the table.

“Oh. Fancy,” you said, Dean pulling out your seat for you. You sat and he took his own, Tessa humming as she pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge and sat it down on the table. “Alright. What are you up to? This is way too nice.”

“Nothing. I knew you guys would be tired and you guys always make me dinner and stuff,” she said.

“Mhm,” you hummed, Dean smirking up at her. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“This what I get for being nice. I’m going over Jack’s,” she said.

“Make smart choices kiddo,” said Dean with a wink. She groaned and messed up his hair before she took off, Toast trotting after. “Take my car if you want, Tess.”

“Thank you!” she called back, ducking out the door after a moment.

“Well this was very nice of her,” you said. You cut into your chicken and paused, showing it to Dean and giggling.

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll show her how to use a meat thermometer, make sure the food is actually cooked,” he chuckled, picking up the plates and scraping the food in the trash.

“It’s the thought that counts,” you said, picking up the bottle of wine.

“Yes it is. What are you thinking?” he asked. “Taco Saturday?”

“I want a big ass burrito,” you said. “With extra cheese. And nachos.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, washing up his hands at the sink. “Wine and Mexican food. Perfect combo if I do say so myself.”

Three Months Later

“You got me a car!” said Tessa, hopping up and down when she opened the front door. She ran over to it and pulled off the bow, sliding in behind the wheel.

“You were worried she wouldn’t like a used one,” chuckled Dean in your ear.

“I was not,” you said, slapping his chest, Toast running out past you. You watched Sam and Eileen come out of their house a few down, Sam staring over in your direction. “We’ll meet you there!”

He waved and they climbed in, driving past with a honk as Tessa squealed.

“Alright, alright,” said Dean. “We got a graduation to get to, ladies.”

“Cheers,” said Dean, laying back on the lounger on the balcony, toasting his glass to yours. You stretched out and rolled over closer to him, kissing him gently. “You’ve officially survived the high school phase.”

“Why do I feel like the college phase is harder,” you laughed.

“She’s already got the college boyfriend down,” he said.

“Yeah but Jack is Jack. He’s sweet. She’s the one I worry about.”

“You’ll always worry,” he said, his arm hanging loosely over your shoulders. “Kids sound like they’re having fun down there.”

“She’s happy. It’s all I could ever ask for.”

“Are you happy?” he asked.

“I’m home,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. You hugged his waist, Dean shutting his eyes with a smile. “You want to get married next summer?”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he said.

“Come on. You gotta have some opinions on this,” you said.

“I kinda like the idea of a spring wedding. Maybe May or something. I wouldn’t mind honeymooning somewhere on a beach,” he said.

“That sounds great,” you said, his fingers dancing along your arm. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Shoot.”

“I almost asked my dad if I could meet you once you know. The boy from the mail room. You seemed...I don’t know, like a really good person.”

“Did I meet expectations?” he asked.

“Blew right past them,” you said, getting a kiss on the temple. “You happy?”

“I got my girl. I got my brother. Got Tessa and Eileen and my friends and Toast and this little baby, Miracle,” he said, picking up the sleeping puppy beside him. “I have never been so happy in my life.”

“Good,” you said, kissing his cheek. “Want to go see if there’s any graduation cake left? Bet it’d go good with this bourbon.”

“God I love you,” he chuckled as he kissed you. “So fucking much.”

“Me too, Dean. Me too.”

_________

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #doctor!dean #au!dean x reader #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #winchester #dean spn #doctor!dean x reader

265 notes · View notes

authorangelita · 2 years

Note

Happy Friday! For the character asks, how about Matty? :)

This is a great one! Thanks, Rosie!

First impression – Fierce. Matty immediately seemed like she was going to be a force to be reckoned with, and she always was.

Impression now – Momma bear. Matty is like the strict parent who is being strict because she cares and wants you to learn to do better and be better. She's also super protective of her team.

Favorite moment – Matty standing with Mac on his back deck at the end of War Room + Ship. It's my iPad wallpaper. I love that she was there for him and also respected his need for silence.

Idea for a story – In the Regrets verse, I want to write a story where Mac, Jack, Riley, and Bozer left the Phoenix and became a SAR helicopter team, and one of their missions is to rescue Matty from a plane crash in the Phoenix jet.

Unpopular opinion – Are there any unpopular opinions about Matty? Ummm, I don't mind that she was harsh on Mac in the beginning because she needed to understand why he does the things that he does.

Favorite relationship – Matty and Jack. I would love to know more about their past together.

Favorite headcanon – Matty was a foster child that grew up with a lot of other kids around, and she often took charge of the kids, which is how and why she's so good at what she does at the Phoenix.

#macgyver 2016 #character ask game #ask ang things #rosieblogstuff asks things #matilda webber

5 notes · View notes

just-a-fangirl13 · 3 years

Text

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT!

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for.

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal.

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him.

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer)

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season!

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that)

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss.

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts.

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening.

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible.

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED.

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

#MacGyver #Angus MacGyver #riley davis #macriley #mac x riley #macriley is endgame #macgyver 510 #murdoc

142 notes · View notes

refinedbuffoonery · 3 years

Text

Broken Like Me (1)

masterlist.

THIS FIC IS NOT INTENDED FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18. Please see the masterlist for content warnings.

Here it is, the long-awaited dark!MacRiley AU! First, I want to thank my lovely beta readers and my life-saving brainstorming/workshop buddy. You all know who you are. ❤

This fic adheres to canon through 5x05 and then goes off the fucking rails. Backstory and other important tidbits of information revealed in the latter half of season 5 may be used, but timeline-wise anything after 5x05 does not exist in this fic. Also, Jack is dead and is staying dead, so don’t get your hopes up for a happy ending.

I will do my best to update this regularly, but hanging out in and writing such dark headspaces is HARD. I will definitely be taking breaks to write fluffier fic, because a big chunk of this story is all hurt and no comfort.

Without further adieu, let’s get this party started. (It’s not a party. In fact, it’s like...the opposite of a party.)

*****

They say he was a good man.

A good soldier.

A good father.

A good friend.

They say they are sorry for her loss, sorry he was taken from this world too soon.

They say Jack would be proud of the legacy he left behind, would be proud to have gone out in a blaze of glory.

Riley is sick of it.

It’s like she’s a teenager, and Jack is leaving her all over again. Only this time it’s worse. This time there’s no coming back.

The guests at the wake gaze at the folded up American flag on the fireplace mantle with deep respect, but Riley only feels anger every time she glimpses the piece of fabric the government sent back in his place. A flag and a life insurance claim feel like a mockery of the kind of man Jack Dalton was.

Was. Past tense.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

*****

Mac has never been afraid of Riley before.

He’s seen her angry and upset, but the rage-filled woman he stopped from killing Anya Vitez with her bare hands back in Croatia is someone he does not know.

The frightening part is that Riley isn’t a hot-headed person. In work mode, she is cold and calculating, so for her to go after Vitez like that...something inside her snapped.

Three weeks have passed since then, and every time he looks at Riley, Mac remembers holding her back, fingers digging sharply into her waist until she stopped fighting him. He sees the fury radiating off Riley’s body like heat waves off asphalt—sees the way she clings to it, finds purpose in it, letting it consume her so there’s no room for guilt or grief. Mac knows the feeling all too well. And he also knows there will be a very loud thud when she finally comes crashing back down.

But he also knows that the woman is like a loaded gun, safety off and desperate to fire at something.

Which is why he worries when Matty calls them in for an op and Riley isn’t there. She’s at Vitez’s trial, Matty informs them, but that doesn’t make Mac feel any better. Whenever there’s downtime during the mission, and Mac’s mind is free to wander, he can't stop thinking about her. This new Riley is becoming obsessively vengeful, and if someone doesn’t reel her back in soon, she might do something she can’t come back from.

The thought plagues Mac every second there aren’t bullets whizzing toward his head.

After the op, Mac drives to Riley’s apartment. Upon arrival, his ears are assaulted by Riley’s upstairs neighbor blasting Macklemore’s greatest hits. Mac hears the lyrics clear as day, even though both his truck windows and the apartment windows are closed.

Riley really shouldn’t have moved out of Mac’s house, not if this is her best option. He still doesn’t understand why she did.

It doesn’t take long to notice the GTO is missing. Riley should be back from the trial by now, but Mac has a sneaking suspicion where she is.

The drive to Jack’s apartment seems to take forever. The brick building is in an older neighborhood, one of few affordable ones with trees planted along the sidewalks—a luxury in LA. Sure enough, the GTO is parked on the curb, not far from the fire escape that connects to Jack’s living room.

Looking up, Mac spies a familiar body perched on the stairs.

Riley sits on the fire escape, soaking in the last rays of sunlight. Her eyes are closed, head resting against the brick wall. Mac doesn’t say anything as he sits beside her on the narrow metal stairs, their hips and thighs just touching.

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Should he hug her? Hold her hand? Leave her alone? Riley isn’t a super touchy person. Mac decides on the latter, picking at his fingernails while his gaze drifts west to study the sunset.

Several minutes pass before Riley says, “Hey.” Her voice is low and scratchy, like she’s been crying.

“Hey,” Mac repeats. “How long have you been here?”

Riley shifts beside him, sitting up. “I don’t know. A while.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve come here, is it?”

A sigh. “No, it’s not.” Mac figures as much. Aside from the constant clamor of the city, Jack’s apartment is relatively quiet. It’s not in the greatest neighborhood, but it’s safe enough for Riley to sit alone and think. Or not think. Whatever she feels like doing.

Riley rests her head on Mac’s shoulder, and a wave of protectiveness floods his system. It’s new, this need to watch her back more than the others’. It came on so gradually that Mac doesn’t know when it started or what triggered it, only that he feels it all the time now. Especially after Jack’s…

He avoids examining the feeling too closely.

Without warning, Riley says, “If you hadn’t held me back, I would’ve killed her.”

Knowing exactly who she was talking about, Mac glances down at Riley in surprise. He knows it’s true—thinks so himself—but hearing it come out of her mouth makes his stomach turn. The last, and only, time Riley killed someone...it took her months to piece herself back together afterward. And that death was in self-defense.

This one would’ve been murder. Intentional and vindictive.

Mac isn’t sure Riley could come back from that, at least not as herself. The woman who would emerge from that would be a total stranger inside his best friend’s body. Mac suppresses a shiver. “I know,” he says.

“Thank you for stopping me.” Riley’s voice is quiet. So, so quiet.

“You would’ve done the same for me.” Gingerly, Mac wraps his arm around Riley’s shoulders, ready to let go at the first sign of her discomfort. When she doesn’t react, he relaxes and holds her more surely.

The sky is painted in vibrant oranges and reds, fading into deep blue overhead. Subtle strokes of pink outline the scattered clouds hanging above the horizon. Out of all the sunsets Mac has seen, all over the world, nothing quite compares to the ones here at home. He wishes Jack was here to see it.

Mac spends far too long debating whether to bring it up before asking, “Why did you go to the trial?” Agents, especially secret ones, don’t go to trials, mostly to keep their identities safe. Publicly tying oneself to a case is never a good idea, for more reasons that Mac can begin to name.

“I swore I’d be there every step of the way. I meant it.” Mac tries not to bristle at the snarling, defensive edge to Riley’s tone. “Eventually, she’ll make a mistake, and I will be there when she does. And then I’m going to rip out her entire organization from the roots up.”

Fear wraps its ugly hand around Mac’s heart. Until every single person associated with Tiberius Kovac is behind bars, there will be a target on Riley’s back, and Riley will have put it there herself. Losing one person to Kovac is more than enough; Mac refuses to lose Riley too.

“How can I help you?”

Riley looks up, eyes wide like she’s expecting him to try to talk her out of it, not offer to help. “You don’t have to do that.”

“And miss out on all the fun?” Mac almost smiles as he quotes her. Almost.

She sits up. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m going to hack Interpol first, to see which of her colleagues might also be dirty. So unless you secretly picked up hacking…”

Mac huffs. “Sorry, I only hack hardware.” He expects some insane, crackhead plan, not something so…reasonable. Maybe Riley isn’t as off-the-rails as he thought.

But only maybe.

A seagull perches on the railing below them, honking and squawking for seemingly no reason at all. Gulls are just like that. It glares at Mac, pinning him to his spot with a beady yellow eye, challenging Mac to shoo it away.

Go find some tourists to harass, Mac wants to snark at it. Leave us alone.

The seagull cocks its head, as if to say, I know something you don’t.

Mac narrows his eyes. I bet you do.

He swears the seagull shrugs before taking off, flying low over the GTO before sailing over rooftops on its way back to the ocean. It passes a billboard advertising a new blockbuster spy thriller, the product of millions of dollars and Hollywood plot recycling. Mac saw the trailer. The movie is about a soldier who joined the CIA in a quest for retribution after his best friend came home in a box. Usually Mac likes watching spy movies—mostly to make fun of them—but this one hits a little too close to home.

It takes a monumental effort to tear his gaze away.

When his eyes finally meet Riley’s, Mac understands the silent ache in them—the ache that’s surely reflected in his own eyes. He and Riley are drowning, but at least they’re drowning together.

Mac frowns. That must be the dimmest “on the bright side” thought he’s ever had.

Riley doesn’t say anything more, so neither does Mac. They sit on the fire escape until long after the sun sets and the temperature drops, and the city's nightlife stretches its limbs as it wakes. Mac shivers, but Riley seems oddly unaffected by the cold. That or she’s too numb to notice.

He threads his still semi-warm fingers through her icy ones, letting their joined hands rest on his knee. It seems like his last tether to the Riley he knows and loves, one who’s slowly slipping away from him and being replaced by a woman who might very well bring the world to its knees as payback for all that it’s done to her.

Mac has no interest in ever meeting that woman. Mostly because he refuses to lose his Riley, but also because Mac knows he won’t be able to resist that other Riley. She will slash his restraint beyond repair, and Mac will follow her to the ends of the earth.

He will find a way to keep them both afloat. He has to.

Or else the Phoenix may very well be hunting him and Riley again, and this time, they’ll deserve it.

*****

Entering her apartment later that night, Riley realizes too late that it isn’t empty. Bozer is still there, and he’s making dinner. Locking the door behind her, she hears a rushed, “Got to go, Matty. She’s home.”

Bozer crashed on her couch the night they got the news and never left. I don't want you to be alone, Bozer keeps saying, despite her insistence she doesn’t need a babysitter. Other than that, they don’t speak to each other much. In fact, Riley wouldn't have noticed he said anything at all if not for the way he stares at her, standing at the stove and twirling a wooden spoon between his fingers.

"What?" she snaps.

Carefully, Bozer asks, "How was the trial?"

"Fine." Riley knows he cares, and that he’s hurting too, but nothing he says or does is going to help her. The sooner he figures that out the better. She drops her keys and jacket on a chair before heading for her bedroom.

“You hungry?” he calls after her.

Riley yanks off her boots, chucking them into the closet with too much force. “No.”

“Have you eaten anything today?”

Her fuse is running short these days, and she’s just about had it with his incessant smothering and questioning. Riley marches into the kitchen, rolling her shoulders back and bracing her hands on the counter. “Last I checked, I still have a mother, so if you’re just going to keep nagging me, then I think it’s time you get the fuck out of my apartment.”

Bozer’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, but no sound comes out.

“Get out,” Riley snarls.

Still struggling to regain his ability to speak, Bozer stammers, “At least let me finish making you dinner first.”

“Fine.” Cracking her knuckles, Riley retreats to her bedroom once more. “I’m taking a shower. You better be gone when I come out.” She doesn’t wait for a response.

When Riley emerges, her dinner is cold, and Bozer is long gone.

She doesn’t eat.

*****

On the second day of Vitez’s trial, Riley sits in the back of the room long after the trial adjourns for the day, thinking. She didn’t recognize the witnesses who testified today, and as the prosecutor called each one forward, Riley wished she had her laptop so she could look them up. Now, as she stares over the rows of empty wooden seats to the section where the jury sat, Riley can only hope that the witnesses’ testimonies are enough.

Riley knows there’s more than enough evidence to convict Vitez—especially since she recorded the confession herself—but obsessing over the trial is easier than facing the reality waiting outside the courthouse doors.

Her mom invited her to visit his grave today, after the trial, but Riley declined. Facing that slab of granite will make it real, make it…permanent.

She knows what it says. Jack Dalton. Beloved. Gone too soon. Someone asked for her approval before it was made. It doesn’t say nearly enough to encapsulate all that he was, but at the time Riley couldn’t think about it—couldn’t look at it—long enough to suggest any changes. She still can’t.

Chewing her lip, Riley anxiously toys with her rings, spinning them and moving them from finger to finger.

At the wake, one of his old Delta buddies joked that the gravestone should read “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers,” but Riley didn’t laugh.

Riley hasn’t laughed since Matty broke the news. It’s like the part of her that knows how to feel joy died in that explosion too.

Instead, she wants to scream at the universe until her voice gives out, cursing it for taking her dad away too soon. Because that’s what he is. Her dad. Riley doesn’t even know when she started calling him that again, but if she has to guess, it was sometime between the first “I’m proud of you, honey” and him kicking her ass at skee-ball for the millionth time.

Tears leak from Riley’s eyes without her consent.

It feels like she failed him, in a way. By not being there. By not keeping him alive.

Now the best she can do is make sure his death means something.

Vitez will go to prison for the rest of her life, that Riley is sure of. But the rest of her organization is still out there, and Riley intends on putting every single member behind bars. No amount of justice will even begin to heal the Jack-shaped wound in her heart, but at least the world will be better for it. Safer.

But she’d rather live in a more dangerous world with him still in it than a safer one without. That way they could save the world together, like they always did.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Anger rumbles through her body, like a Texas thunderstorm in her veins. It’s the only emotion Riley feels anymore, ever since the sadness gave way to numbness.

A woman in a security uniform pokes her head in the room. “Excuse me, ma’am. I need to lock up for the night.” When Riley doesn’t respond, the woman adds, “Are you okay?”

Are you okay? Riley hates that question more than all the others. How are you? Have you eaten today? What can I do to help?

She feels like she’s dying. She can’t eat. Nothing will help.

But that isn’t what people want to hear. Even Mac asked that last question, yesterday on the fire escape, although Riley didn’t automatically despise the question like she usually did. It’s different coming from him than anyone else; his offer was genuine, not coming from pity or obligation.

She isn’t surprised Mac recognized her need to do something. After all, he had been the same way after his dad was killed.

Coldly, Riley finally says,“I will be.” The woman doesn’t deserve her abrupt answer, but Riley can’t quite bring herself to care. She lets the anger the questions bring up fuel her, lets it hold her together.

The anger is all she has left.

Riley stands, her heels clicking on the floor as she exits the courthouse.

She’s coming for all the monsters who hurt him. She’s coming for the ones who rendered him nothing more than ashes on the wind, the ones who turned her life into a nightmare she can’t wake up from.

Because she doesn’t need to wake up to become theirs.

Want to be tagged in future chapters? Send me an ask.

#beth writes #dark!MacRiley #macriley #macgyver #angus macgyver #riley davis #mac x riley #macgyver fanfiction

60 notes · View notes

whump-town · 3 years

Text

Lie to Me

Guess who's back on their shit?

Another cancer fic for you because there's something very weird about me that stays drawn to the idea of secretly being sick

Anyways

Warnings: well... cancer

Pairings: none? yet.

Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner has a certain reputation around the office. The BAU’s ghost, walking around in his leather dress shoes and fancy suits without so much as a groan from the old, torn tile beneath his feet or the muffled swish of the material of his slacks. You never know he’s there until he wants you to and by then it’s always too late. By luck of his poor hearing or his natural affinity for silence, nothing admitted in his silent presence ever graces his lips for a repeat. The secrets all die with him. He’s as loyal as a dog -- in ways that lead to natural gravitation. The reason why Penelope Garcia beams at him every time their paths cross, why she so eagerly rushes to match his pace. To just walk beside him and talk his ear off even though she knows her answers will come in the form of soft hums and furrowed brows. In other ways, it’s killed him. Left him to live the life of a lame dog, dragging his dying body away from them. Hoping to spare them the agony of his death.

Some things that people say about SSA Hotchner are true. He really does move like a ghost and it’s a thing of great mystery and annoyance. It’s cost Emily Prentiss numerous mugs but perhaps the flash of his smug crooked grin makes that worth the shattered cup at their feet (she wouldn’t agree with that statement). He’s made Derek Morgan nearly jump out of his skin, whirling around to attack whatever snuck up on him only to find Hotch frowning back at him. If asked, David Rossi will blame Hotch for 79% of the grey hairs on his head because he hadn’t even begun to go grey until he met Hotch.

He’s really not as scary as people make him out to be.

Penelope Garcia wishes everyone knew that. She wishes cadets looked at Hotch the way that they look at Derek and Spencer. As awe-inspiring giants, they crane their necks to look up to. Instead, they lower their eyes away from him. Whispering to one another about the rumors and the things that they have been told. They regard him as a lesson -- someone to measure their existence against. To know when to get out of the job. To know when they can no longer turn back.

He’d saved her when it seemed no one else in the world really looked at her. She’d watched him take her homemade pink stationary in his hands, held it delicately as he looked over what menial ideas she could think of. He’d looked at her kindly, not at all like the snobby FBI brat she assumed him to be, and shaken her hand, “Thank you, Miss Garcia.” For the months following her career change, he’d been too kind. Brought her lunch to her desk because she was too anxious to leave her office. Gave her advice about where to park and how to miss Strauss in the hallways.

As important as his approval is to her, his well-being is more important. So, no, she doesn’t turn away when she sees him on Saturday in the emergency room. He’s sleeping off a cocktail they’d given him, turns out it’s rather hard to place a catheter near the heart when it’s beating erratically. His anxiety had nearly caused him to be sick and so he’d agreed, finally, to let them give him something to calm him down. Which is where Garcia finds him, left arm cradled to his chest, too long limbs hanging off the stretcher, and breathing slow and steady through the oxygen canal under his nose. A precaution, that’s all, given the sedatives they’d doped him up with.

“Sir?”

The fingers in his left-hand twitch, flexing towards his palm and he grunts softly at the pain that the movement causes. Slowly, breathing hitching and his eyes fluttering open, he wakes up. He’d heard, vacantly, the hesitant “sir” from the end of the bed but he assumed it was a nurse. As his eyes rise up to search the room he’s surprised, entirely so that he thinks he’s hallucinating, to find Penelope.

“Are you okay?”

He’s still piecing together the last few hours but nods. Cracking open his dry lips he swallows thickly, trying to work his voice around the tightness in his throat. Dehydrated and still disoriented he reaches for the cup of water left for him but at the current angle that he’s laying at, he can’t get it. He clears his throat, sniffling, “can you, ugh--” He’s still looking at the cup, dazed to the point he can’t think of the words he means to say. Tired eyes look back at her, pleading silently that she understands.

Penelope nods, moving forward instinctively. She doesn’t look at him, at his dark blood dried to his arm. His hospital gown stopping just at the clear protective barrier between her and the port placed on the inside of his arm. “Here,” she whispers. She needs to be closer so he doesn’t have to stretch but can’t bring herself to be close. Not within his reach. Not so close that she can see the dark rings of sleepless nights carved under his eyes. Far enough away that the tremble in his hand is easily overlooked. So that he doesn’t seem as weak and frail as his voice sounds.

He sips the water, knows from too many mistakes not to drink too much just yet. “Why are you here?” He nearly sounds like himself, dark brows furrowed and voice taken its steady, deep rhythm back.

She looks over her shoulder, past the curtain pulled around them for the sake of privacy. “I, uhm, volunteer for a support group that meets every Saturday here at the hospital.” She points to the front desk, to a woman with curly hair pulled back in two ponytails. “I came downstairs to say hi to Mac and I saw you and I just…” Suddenly, realizes how she shouldn’t be here. That if he wanted comfort he’d have told them, or someone.

Wait. Stop.

That doesn’t matter. Hotch doesn’t know what’s good for him. Everyone knows that. So she made the right decision to come over here.

“You’re not driving yourself home, right?”

In her silent contemplation, he’d began to fall asleep again. The cup in his hand dangerously tipped and eyes held open by slow, deepening blinks.

“Hotch?” She touches his hand, flinching away at just how cold his skin is.

He cracks his eyes back open, cracks of soft brown iris finding her slowly. He hums, mouth cracked open.

“Will you let me take you home?”

Home. He hums again, vaguely aware of her warm hand coming to rest over his. Moving his stiff fingers away from the cup, taking it from him so he doesn’t spill it over himself.

It’s meticulous work, keeping him awake. Even harder making sure he gets dressed but once he’s sitting up he’s much more alert, grumpy now for being duped into asking her for help. She’d offered it but that means nothing to him. He’s no less thrilled to find his brain too foggy and arm too weak to work his arm through his sweater. She still smiles when his head pops through, hair a crazy mess on his head.

She packs him carefully into her car, a boxy little thing he’d frowned at when she bought it. He’d been the reason behind Morgan and Reid both coming to her office with statistics and fear about the safety of it but she’d loved it. He’s a worrier, prone to stewing and her car had taken up a lot of his energy for the first year she owned it. Now he’s being packed into the green monstrosity, senses assaulted by incense. Everything’s sparkly and he ends up sitting with a teddy bear in his lap, a troll in his hand. He’d taken their rightful place as her passenger.

His legs do not fit no matter how far back he moves his seat back and Penelope feels awful that he looks so uncomfortable but also finds it to be humorous. His knees to his ears, dark scary Agent Hotchner holding a stuffed bear to his chest, head resting against the window. It’s sweet.

It’s fairly easy to figure what his thought process today when she pulls up to his house and no one’s home. Jack’s camping, she learns. He’s dozed off again, prone and more willing to whisper half-truths. Will be away for the whole weekend until Tuesday morning. Jessica is getting her nails and hair done, he’d made the appointment just to make sure she really did it. The haircut should have ended just in time that he could call her and ask if she’d pick him up from the hospital. Where he thought he would have already artfully hidden the PICC line under his sweater and played the affair off as a routine sort of deal. A check-up.

“Sir…” she’s standing now, awkwardly, in his living room. The curtains are drawn back the way he likes, closing off the sun. He’s tucked under his heating blanket, trying to remain awake for the sake of the fact that it’s rude to fall asleep while entertaining guests. Yet, failing miserably. “Sir, I was just wondering… Is everything okay?”

“I’m--” the truth nearly slips right out. He clears his throat, managing to sit up just enough to catch her eyes. “Don’t worry about me, Garcia. Jessica will be around in an hour.” He holds his left hand closed, trying to stop his cramped fingers from twitching. “Dave and Emily are coming by for dinner. I’ll be okay.”

It’s completely unethical.

It’s so unprofessional.

But she can’t help herself.

Her eyes prick with tears when Emily shakes her head in the kitchenette, the sound of Hotch’s wet coughs breaking through his closed office door. “He needs to get that checked out,” she sighs, hiding her bleeding worry with annoyance. “Sounds awful.” And Penelope stands there with Hotch’s secret tongue-tied.

He’s getting worse and fast.

She gets a call from Derek, seething anger laced into his words. “He fucking-- He fucking just-- .” She knows it’s really just fear. Can hear him walking, his rapid pacing as he tries to outwalk his expanse of emotions. “He -- He shouldn’t be in the field. I mean, it’s like he didn’t even see it coming. He was just…” She remains steady. Wipes the tears that slip past her eyelashes with the back of her hand. Derek cries, on the ground with his knees to his chest, and he tells her what happened. How Hotch was paying attention to him and if he hadn’t been then maybe…

She greets them at the elevator, feels her smile attempt to waver when Hotch’s tired eyes raise from the ground. The bruise along his cheek a deep agonizing yellow, the wound on his temple still weeping angrily through the bandage. He can’t fly until his concussion is healed, longer if his tinnitus doesn’t get better. “It’ll be fun having you home,” she assures him, giving his fingers an extra squeeze.

Luck, it seems, has never seemed to favor Aaron Hotchner’s particular brand of bold.

Working at the District Attorney’s had been a morally fulfilling job. In theory, he could rest assured, each night, that he was doing what he could to help people. He was putting the real bad guys behind the bars. Even as his dreams filled with the images of the victims who had to wait for months, and even years, to get their proper justice. In reality, he slept poorly and rarely. Unable to properly maintain his workload without impossibly long hours. With time he found his work to be unfulfilling. He was doing nothing to stop crime from happening and sinking further into the realization that was failing more people than he could ever begin to help.

In court, he was ruthless. Haley didn’t like the man he became in the courtroom. Ruthless and harsh, he appeared evil and terrifying with his hawk-like eyes and infallible ability to pinpoint weaknesses in his opposers. Around the office, they nicknamed his alter-ego “Hot-head Hotchner” because the Aaron that gets flushed ordering lunch couldn’t possibly be the same man who made a man wet himself on the stand. Haley couldn’t agree more.

Hot-head Hotchner got him offered a job in corporate law, several firms were throwing big numbers at him to encourage that lasered focus to be on their side. Lest they find themselves opposing it. Morally, he could never go into corporate law but the offer to spend hours bending law into something pliable and poking holes in judicial wordings was compelling. It would be complex, rewarding work with a big pay-out. Better than the shitty salary he made at the D.A.’s office. Before he could make the compromise he met David Rossi and he never got his chance to bend the law to his will, he held his moral ground and instead changed career paths.

It was bold leaving what he knew he was good at for something new entirely.

A costly decision.

He never got to fulfill his secret desire to mold the law but bending the truth wasn’t a far cry from the same thing. Lying has never been something he felt comfortable with and that had no exceptions. He hadn’t wanted to tell the team Emily had died but that had far less to do with his morals and so much more to do with a picture much bigger than himself. The hell he knew that would rain down upon them in the weeks to come. The inability of the team to cope. Intuitively something holding them back and what they could only assume was a stage of grief.

To Emily Prentiss, he has never lied. Stretched versions of the truth he maintains to not be the same thing as a lie. If they count then his answer would be different but the eye of the beholder adds context. And as the holder of this context, he resolutes the power to declare them very different.

“New girlfriend?”

He’s breathing through a bought of nausea attempting to take him off his feet. The cold countertop biting into the skin of his wrist, his palm pressed flat to the surface so that he doesn’t grip the edge. So that his pale bloodless knuckles holding onto dear life do not betray the severity of which he fears he might get sick or pass out.

His phone is on the counter, turned upside down so that he doesn’t have to see the screen light up with every new text that comes through. The high-pitched “ding” of each new message is lost to the tinnitus he’s been succumbing to now for the better part of the week. No amount of coffee or Tylenol has helped.

Raising his gaze makes the pounding in his head worse but he has to meet Emily’s questioning gaze. They’ve started to notice his “off” behavior. His inability to stand for long amounts of time without physical drain. His decision to stay home on the last several cases, working here with Garcia rather than joining them in the field. The way he relies on Morgan’s lead more than he used to, falling silent and allowing the other man to make decisions. He suspects they just assume he’s looking into retiring or that he’s struggling to kick his “chest cold”, he doesn’t bother correcting them.

“No,” he manages, swallowing around the heaviness of his tongue. The way his mouth seems full of salival added pangs to his stomach as he knows he’s going to be sick. “It’s Jessica.” She’s angry with him and for good reason, though he doesn’t offer an explanation as to why.

Emily hums, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head. “What’d you did you do to piss her off?” In other circumstances, he might assume she’s attempting to pry. She’s just here for another cup of coffee, offering him a way to release some of his stress. No hard feelings if he suggests she fuck off and willing to lend an ear if he wants to talk. She’s not holding her breath but she hopes he comes undone. That he admits to some awful conspiracy and that this whole time they’ve been in some twisted social experiment to see how unified they actually are. That he isn’t as sick as he looks. That he’s just in a low spot and in a month he’ll be putting the weight back on and Derek will be telling them all about training for another marathon. How Reid could do more pushups than Hotch.

“I’m sorry,” Hotch whispers. He tries to step away from the counter. Feels the temperature in the room drops several degrees, his skin broken out in goosebumps. “I think to sit down,” he says frantically, knows now he needs to sit before he passes out.

Emily grabs his arm, tries to help him up. To get him to the chair that’s right there, so close.

“Hotch?” Derek jogs into the kitchen, he’d seen from afar and come running. “Emily, what’s wrong?”

Emily helps him to the ground, hand holding the back of his neck as his body starts sinking faster, beyond his control. She sits down on the ground beside him, eyes scanning across his body to find a feasible answer. Below her, Hotch’s breathing has gone rapid and shallow. His eyes rolled back into his head, neck-craning as he unconsciously fights to get air into his lungs. “I don’t know,” she says. “I don’t know. He just-- He was just--” Hotch wheezes, an awful sound. He chokes, blood coming to paint his lips. To coat his teeth.

“Hotch?” Derek moves to his side, picking up Hotch’s shoulder to move him onto his side. “Hotch, answer me!”

His only reply is a wet gurgle, a blood-coated wheeze.

#tw cancer #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #derek morgan #criminal minds fanfiction

38 notes · View notes