#It literally never left my mind I've been constantly wondering like what would happen if al was put in the other one idk

[saturnaous]

Accidently cooked up a silly little au the other day that I am very much enjoying gonna. talk about it under the cut because4 the FUCKING WORMS

OKAY so basically. literally everythign is the same except for the fact that. Ed got entirely yoinked instead of Alphonse. I dunno why that happens but. It does because I say so. Anyways. So this basically mean that Ed gets bonded to an armor instead of Al, and because I desperately wanted the secondary set of Armor to see some light I thought it would be funny to bond Ed to that instead. I haven't fleshed everything out, but as I'm working on that I wanna add a few of the different things in here just because. And I still might tweak things if I think it doesn't make sense. - Al lost his arm first, then traded his tongue and his eye to bond Ed to the armor, making him effectively mute. He's learned ASL and Ed has to translate for him a lot. Although in my hcs Al is a foodie so like. major bummer for taste buds. He likes fun textures and stuff though. I gotta figure out what problems this poses though so we'll figure that out. - Al most likely is going to go into being a state alchemist just for the fact of staying somewhat close to the storyline and stuff. and I don't know, insert random reasoning in here. Yeah - just a little design note. uhmmmmm I thought the cross thing on Ed's head/helm was cool and I had the bright idea of like "hey what if I put the emblem like. through the cross yk" and I might not do that. But at the moment it looks cool to me. so yeah. I'M STILL TOYING WITH THINGS. . . I have to figure out what happens and designs and stuff. but yeah. I think that covers. what I have for now. p sick. scuttles away

#uhmmm. fuck I'm not entirely sure which things to tag bc I've been referencing the manga for a lot of this. but fuck it we ball #fmab #fma brotherhood #fma manga #fma #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma au #alphonse elric #edward elric #yeah lets go with that #Spenxer Lou Art #lou is an artist #Honestly this is. kinda like a role swap a little but. But not entirely. and probably not too original but I'm having fun #Anyways. I have to say that the first time I realized there were two sets of armor #It literally never left my mind I've been constantly wondering like what would happen if al was put in the other one idk #But then I accidentally made this AU in the shower where Ed gets yoinked instead of Al #so then I was like HOLY FUCK I CAN YSE THE EXTRA SET OF ARMOR #which. holy fucking hell. I've literally have two single fucking panels to reference from. which is hell. but I fucking love it #anyways. uhm. yeah teehee

[astonmartinii]

hi!! i dont know if you're still taking requests but if you are, can you please do a max verstappen smau with fem reader, where reader is a huge max fan and they like end up together in the end. i love all of your work and i've probably reread most of your work!! your doing great and i hope you have a good day 🫶

worlds biggest fan | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

y/n is the president of the official max verstappen fan club, but nothing can come of that, right?

(this'll probably just be part one so let me know if you want a part two)

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and 31,239 others

maxverstappenarchive: max took the win at monza this weekend after a late safety car. the dutchman once again showed he’s a mentality king ignoring all the boos from the tifosi. they hate what they can’t have.

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user1: max verstappen the man you are

maxverstappen1: 🧡

maxverstappenarchive: super max 🏆

yourusername: jealousy is a disease get well soon xoxo

user2: i love how she comments like we don’t know she runs this account

user3: SHES THE ADMIN???

user4: i personally love when maxverstappenarchive gets sassy with it like the caption didn’t have to serve so hard

yourusername: someone has to defend him and it’s got to the point i no longer need to argue with people over the internet i need a GUN

liked by maxverstappen1

user5: we can see you by the way max

yourusername

liked by victoriaverstappen, maxverstappen1 and 3,429 others

yourusername: the library knows my face way more than it should :(

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user6: she’s almost too cool to be the literal president of the max verstappen fan club

user7: no i need her to be this cool cause it makes us 10% cooler by association

user8: she single-handedly covers us from the embarrassment from the middle aged drunk men in the orange army

user9: she’s so chill about the fact that victoria and max are just constantly in her likes

yourbff1: i can assure you she is not chill about it

yourbff2: like at all

yourbff1: wow i wonder who takes these lovely pictures of you at the library and conveniently only takes them when you’re not having a meltdown

yourusername: i love yewwwww xxx

yourbff1: you can repay me when you become a wag

yourusername: PLS don’t say that i shan’t abuse my position as president

yourbff1: shame

maxverstappen1 liked this comment

f1

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 552,895 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, georgerussell63

f1: it all got a little much in the baku sprint race as george russell made contact with max verstappen on the opening lap giving the red bull damage for the entire race. the two came to blows in parc ferme with verstappen sending a number of expletives russell’s way. what do you think?

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user15: is mad max back?

user16: he never left he’s always been a big whiny baby, lewis would never

user17: no need to call russell a dickhead, crashtappen can’t handle someone actually racing him for once - just like his dad

maxverstappenarchive: max has never been a “whiny baby”, he may have been a little hot-headed and someone who always spoke his mind but he could never be categorised as a whiny baby. if you have such a problem with drivers calling other drivers dickheads then you should take it up with hamilton who did the exact same a few seasons ago. you simply have a problem with max’s success which is a you problem and there is no reasonable reason for you to bring jos verstappen into this argument, it immediately invalidates your argument.

user18: period oh my

user19: she spilt so hard here

user20: ignoring whatever domestic just happened in this comment section to say that i don’t care who is in the right - i just live for the drama

f1wagsandtea

liked by pierregasly, user22 and 21,341 others

f1wagsandtea: meet y/n y/ln, the president of the max verstappen fan club. she’s a student at UCL studying english literature and french and unapologetically defends max at all times. however people have been taking notice of how she’s never actually been to a race and how max has been subtlety liking comments about their relationship potential. what do you think about y/n and max?

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user23: kinda creepy that she literally runs his fan club but also it’s kinda cute idk i’m having a crisis over this

user24: i need this not to happen cause i’ll become so delusional and think i can pull charles

yourusername: some people are broke i’m working to go to a race but unfortunately i need food and a place to live first

user25: speaking for the broke queens i love you

maxverstappen1: it’s a bit too late to sort tickets for this weekend, but i can do dinner next week?

yourusername: time and address and im there

user26: bro the dms are there for a reason

maxverstappen1: noted

user27: why did you say that i wanted to witness max verstappens rizz :(

yourbff1: i usually hate these accounts cause y’all too nosey for your own good, but you got my bestie a date with her dream man so you get a pass just this once

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff1 and 6,199 others

yourusername: slow weekend

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user30: she's playing it too cool i'd be a literal puddle on the floor rn

yourbff1: rest assured that she's been screaming about it for at least the last three days

maxverstappen1: 🧡

yourusername: amazing race maxy 🦁

user31: she's so cool but also CAT

user32: my spidey senses are picking up cat play dates with jimmy, sassy and ... the orange one yourusername: his name is moose user32: not what i was expecting but seems fitting user33: was half-expecting his name to be max maxverstappen1: me too yourusername: guys i'm not that bad yourbff2: her old goldfish was named max yourusername: STOP EMBARRASSING ME

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 47,831 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

maxverstappenarchive: max won the belgian grand prix to take his win tally to 35 career wins! congratulations max 🧡

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user34: so like when is he legit going to be in the goat conversation?

user35: genuinely this dominance is so so impressive

maxverstappen1: see you in a couple days 🧡

user36: leave the flirting to the personal accounts verstappen yourusername: i'm so excited you wouldn't believe

redbullracing: in max we trust

maxverstappenarchive: generational talent

user37: i know they won't but can someone livestream this date cause i wanna watch maxverstappenarchive lose her literal mind

yourusername: no mind will be lost i am a grown woman yourbff1: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

yourusername added to their story

[caption: hot summer nights, mid july]

maxverstappen1 added to their story

[caption: no one tell brad]

note: i nearly got to the photo limit so i'm gonna leave this here but i have a lot of ideas for this scenario so let me know if yall want a second part !! also hope this actually fulfilled the original request ??

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen instagram au

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for asking my brother for a favor?

I (28M) and my brother (28M) used to be incredibly close as children but near the end of highschool, we got into a huge fight when he sabotaged a huge opportunity I had because he wanted the both of us to go sailing after graduation instead of letting me go off and be my own person. He left home after that and we hadn't spoken to each other since for nearly ten years.

Since then I've had to work incredibly hard to achieve what I could have had if my brother hadn't destroyed everything for me. I'm proud to say that I managed to get everything I wanted to have in life and have been happily conducting research in a small lumber town. That is, until I made the incredibly stupid decision to partner up with someone who had only malevolent intentions. I had no idea at the time, as he acted as if he were my friend. We would play chess together and he told me that he wanted to help me with my research since he 'chooses one brilliant mind each century' to inspire.

As you might have guessed, it was all a lie. My muse was a monster and I was a damn fool for ever believing him. The project he was helping me work on turned out to be something that could literally bring about the end of the world and yes, I mean literally. I panicked and began to do everything I could to fix my mistake but I had opened myself up so much to my partner that he began to terrorize me almost constantly. Even sleep became far too risky.

This is when I called my brother. Even if we hadn't spoken in so long, I felt he was the only person in the world left that I could trust. My plan was to have him hide my research so that my partner couldn't get to it and I could focus on stopping him once and for all. I even told my brother that he could go sailing, like he always wanted to! But for some reason he just got angry with me and called me selfish! He started going on and on about how he had a mullet and that I ruined his life as if he wasn't the one who ruined my life. As far as I'm concerned, he ruined his own life!

I'm not proud of it but everything quickly devolved after that and we began fighting with each other. It culminated in me severely injuring my brother, by accident. I immediately stopped fighting and tried to apologize- I may have been angry with him but I would never want to hurt him like that- but my brother wouldn't hear any of it and promptly retaliated. Now I've lost everything and I don't think I'll ever get any of it back.

I'm still incredibly angry at my brother. If he had just listened to me and taken my research then none of this would have happened. My main focus is on destroying my partner once and for all now, but sometimes I can't help wondering if there was anything that could have been done differently, or if we were both just doomed to these fates. So, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[sanversandfriends]

Sanvers fans know her from her amazing contributions of art and fic to the Big Bang, but @morganastorm24 is also a multi-talented writer and artist for multiple ships in the DC universe. She also has love of everything Lois Lane. In honor of the Planet's star reporter, we've asked her to share a glimpse into her writing process. Thanks, Morgana!

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?  

I've been writing for as long as I can remember - even longer according to my mum. I've always loved creating stories and would sit with my teddies and toy horses, reading them stories (even before I could read, because that's what pictures are for, right? Telling a thousand words and all that). For my 6th or 7th birthday, I apparently asked for a "really nice writing set and an even nicer book to write in". I was given a ring binder with plastic pockets, a notebook and a pencil case full of stationery. I still have that ring binder to this day, though it's not filled with all my random childish scribbles like it once was. 

I started writing fanfiction not long after Star Wars: Attack of the Clones came out. That's the earliest fanfic I can remember writing, anyway. I wrote Anakin and Padme's adventures after they got married, and then when rumours started flying about what was going to happen in Episode 3, I wrote my very first "fix it fic" by finding a way to keep Padme alive (as I couldn't bear the thought of my favourite character dying). Most of those very early fics never left the pages of the notebooks they were scrawled in and nobody else ever saw them (thank god!), but it wasn't until I started reading fanfiction online that I realised I could actually do that too - share my ideas with the world. I dabbled a little in fanfic for the tv show Casualty (a British medical drama), had more success with Doctor Who, wrote some more Star Wars, then Merlin and eventually (and most recently) Supergirl (with a dash of other DC). 

What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?

This fic was born of a single image - namely Chyler first revealing that she was going to wear a black and blue super suit and become Supergirl for one episode. That image alone was enough to get my mind racing with possibilities and ideas of how it might come to pass. I have to be honest and say I stopped watching the show after the Crisis stuff, so I've never actually seen her episode as Supergirl, but maybe that's a good thing? At least this way I know that my version of her is different and unique.

I am and always will be a huge Sanvers stan, but there's something so appealing about AgentCorp as well, and the show really dropped the ball when they wouldn't let Alex and Lena be together. They're an interesting and dynamic pairing - they share interests, are both huge science nerds and yet so completely different that its great fun writing them both together.

As for Lois and Kara - that one literally came out of nowhere and took me by surprise. I'd never intended for it to happen, and yet now that it has, I'm wondering why I never thought of it sooner!

Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? 

Absolutely. I got to a point with the fic where it had grown stale, and I was constantly hitting up against a wall with no idea how to get around it, or to power through it. So, I walked away from the fic and decided to focus on other WIPs and new creations instead. Coming back to it now, I've been able to see everything with fresh eyes, and I can see not only where I was going wrong before, but also a way to fix it. Changing the villain, adding characters, getting rid of redundant plot threads and adding more relevant pieces has really helped to get this work to a place where finally, I can see the finish line and I know I'm going to make it. That's a huge relief, considering where I was 2 years ago when I first started writing it.

Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?

Never give up. No matter how hard it might be, just put words on a page. It doesn't matter how rubbish they are, as my BFF always says, "You can't edit a blank page." Let yourself suck, let yourself write horrendously. It's all good practice. Even if those words never leave your notebook or the document on your computer, they've taught you something, they've helped you to improve, so be proud of them.

Writing is also a bit like a painting. Not even Da Vinci or Van Gogh sat at his easel and created a masterpiece on his first try. There's the initial sketches to plan out the idea. That's your plot or summary. Then you add basic blocks of colours. That's your first draft. From then on, you work away slowly, adding details, shading, contouring...those are your second, third, fourth drafts. Keep revising and editing as much as you need - there's no right or wrong number of times you should be doing it. Because each time you do, you're adding more detail to your masterpiece. And what you end up with is a work of art.

One final piece of advice... writing is not a solo event. All those times a writer is depicted sitting along, tapping away at a keyboard or scribbling in a notebook, it's so misleading. Get yourself a writing buddy. DKGwrites and I are best friends, we met through fanfiction (and I'm eternally grateful for that everyday). We have regular writing sessions together, and ok it's 90% messing around, distracting one another, talking utter nonsense or throwing random videos and links to each other, but that 10% when we do actually behave and get down to the task at hand, it's so much more fun writing together than it ever is when we try to write alone. Silliness aside, we help one another, bounce ideas off one another, motivate and encourage one another, and it's the best thing ever. So find yourself a writing buddy, and have a blast!

If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be? 

What if Supergirl was a badass redhead called Alex Danvers?

We'll have more about her artwork in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, check out her work on A03!

#Supergirl #Finish the Fic #AgentCorp #Kaois #Lois Lane

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 62

Time Is on My Side

"Time Is on My Side"

IT LITERALLY ISN'T

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Weirdly enough, for a zombie attack, no one died for the cold open. Sure, the one guy DEFINITELY wound up with his intestines spilling out, but he wasn't DEAD. And the nurse who'd seen it all saw something new.

So we were in Ohio last episode, and now we're in Erie, PA. I'm feeling...targeted

I've made it pretty far without mentioning Lilith. She's only shown up once so far when Agent Henriksen died, yet she gets mentioned in every single recap. Will she come back today??

"No. We're very smart" is not something smart people have to say, my dude

Man.......so it's NOT zombies??? Unfortunate

Love that Dean is complaining about having to hear about the kinds of shit that happens on this show all the time like I'm not constantly eating lunch or dinner while I WATCH it. All I'm saying is I've got a stronger stomach than Dean Winchester

So...not a zombie...but an alchemist of sorts

This is such a weird episode...it's ALL over the place. I mean, there's A thread of connection (thankfully), but I've never seen them do so many different cases or case-like things in ONE episode

God....boys you only have so much time left together (or so you think), why split up NOW??

OMG, loving Rufus. SUPER uncooperative til bribed and pretty easily bribed. Love it.

Do...do we find out Bela's backstory here?? Color me intrigued..........fucking hell, of course we don't just yet (I really hope we do)

Would you believe it if I told you I'm completely uninterested in Sam's plotline this episode now?? Except for the guy who's Frankensteining himself. THAT is interesting (though he'll be treated like any other monster on this show). Actually, no....it's not EXACTLY Frankensteining, it's Ship of Theseus-ing.

What. Did. Dean. Find. Out. About. Her. I NEED TO KNOW. Oh. She killed her parents (though, from the small flashback, seemed like at LEAST one of them deserved it).

You know, the last time I watched two brothers try to do alchemy, it didn't go so great. This is, at least, a post 2003 world, but I'll give them a partial pass because Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood wasn't out yet.

Yeah, maybe don't let your guard down when you've angered a man who has Ship of Theaseus-ed himself with the organs of lots of really really healthy, in shape, athletic people.

Ho DO you kill this guy?? Oh. You don't. You just bury him alive...Okay then.

Bela made a deal too?? I hope that last scene wasn't the......so yeah, I just looked at imdb, that's the last of Bela. I'm gonna miss her.

"Been On My Mind...": this could be the penultimate entry of this game. It's been a MASSIVE let down for that one guy who wondered where all the "hot chicks the Winchesters were always hooking up with" went.

Edit: time was not on the side of the Winchesters having any romantic entanglements

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #obx s2 #uh oh trouble in paradise #anyway that smut #kinda wanna get railed by JJ in the back of the van #don’t we all?

[mistycreativelilacs]

Rick Flag x Female Reader

Summary: Reader is a member of Task Force X with unrequited feelings for a certain Colonel.

Authors Note: I've been binge reading @romanticgumchewer-reactivated's amazing If I Go Universe and it inspired me to write my own Rick Fic. Reader has Chronokinesis type powers but they're more in the vein of Marvels version of Time Manipulation powers. This will probably be a multi-part fic.

Content Warnings/Tropes: Angst, Unrequited Love, Mild mentions of death/violence,

It’s quite frightful to fall in love. Worse so to observe the object of your affections fall in love with someone else. Your movements feel wooden and your heart races like a rabbit as you adjust the curtains of your window to get a better look. You didn't mean to be spying on Flag but by some broken twist of fate, you'd chosen an apartment not only in the same building as the colonel but right across the hall from him.

Really this entire situation is Waller's fault. Blackmailing you into joining her stupid Task Force, instead of locking you up in Belle Reve like the rest of your teammates. If you hadn't joined the squad, you wouldn't have met the Colonel. Wouldn't have become so fascinated with this man who treated the criminals around him as human beings, and seemed genuinely affected when team members didn't survive. Wouldn't have felt the ice around your heart thawing with each charming smile or stupid joke shared in hushed whispers on transport to and from missions.

You grew closer and closer, your poor heart beginning to hope that these burgeoning feelings might not be so one-sided. And who could blame you with all the not-so-subtle glances in your direction and lingering touches? It was starting to feel as if the Colonel's hand permanently lived on the small of your back. It even began to feel like you were dating, with all the time you were spending together outside of missions. Between movie nights, going to the gym together, and constantly cooking for and with each other, it was the healthiest relationship you'd had since you were a teenager, and you hadn't even slept with him.

Then there was the almost kiss.

It'd been nearly two months since you two had stood in a field of bodies, setting sun turning the sky violet. It'd been like a scene from a movie, the two of you leaning against one another, the only surviving members of that mission. For a moment you thought he would kiss you, could see the timeline playing out, could see a happy ending. And then it was torn from you, as the Colonel pulled away an undefinable look crossing his face. The two of you had avoided talking about it, pretending as if the moment had never happened, but something had changed. Flag seemed to pull away from you, his hand no longer living on the small of your back, no more hushed conversations in the back of the briefing room before missions. Hell, you hadn't even really been on a mission with him since the near kiss. Waller kept sending you on solo operations and recon missions. The freeze-out went beyond the walls of Belle Reve too. Flag had stopped answering when you knocked on his door, and every time you called him you got his voicemail. It was like he'd put up a metaphorical wall between the two of you, using the literal walls of your separate apartments to assist him. You only knew he was still around because of the glimpses of him you'd get through the windows of your apartment. Part of you wondered why he hadn't found a new place with all the effort he seemed to be putting into avoiding you.

Without Flag to fill the time between missions, you'd started to go a little stir crazy. Your mind getting restless and spiraling down rabbit holes of overthinking or getting lost in the timelines of people passing on the street. You were left with two options, spend your time in the gym training or continue moping about your apartment resisting the urge to march across the hall and demand answers. You took up Yoga in a hope that it would help calm you. That's what brought you here, to your bedroom window. You'd only wanted to crack it open to let in some fresh air, finding it a tad too chilly to do yoga in the park as you normally would. But as you went to move away from the window you caught a glimpse of brown hair and couldn't help but chase its movements. That was the biggest mistake you could have made.

Rick was standing on the sidewalk, with a woman you assumed was his dog walker, seeing as how she was holding on to Camo's leash. You once again made to move from the window but were stopped in your tracks by his smile. That big, flirtatious, caused your heart to melt when he flashed it at you, smile. This was the first time you'd seen it in over two months, and it was aimed at another woman. You couldn't stop yourself from dipping into the curvy maze of timelines branching from their moment on the street. Your eyes glazed over as you watched them fall in love, watched him leave the Task Force for her, watched this woman get your happy ending. You could feel the tears streaming down your face, and with each moment on the timeline, you could feel the ice reclaiming your heart.

You're snapped out of their timeline by your own inner monologue. 'Stop breaking your own heart. If Flag wants to marry a dog walker that's his business. You should know by now that snooping into the timelines of people close to you rarely ends with anything other than your feelings getting hurt.' Your inner voice was right, as she usually was, but that didn't mean you had to listen to her. Snooping through Rick's timelines had become the only way you got to see him, however, you usually stuck to his past and present, avoiding his future to keep your own heartbreak at bay. Maybe it was time to just let him go completely. You'd take one last glance at him in the flesh, and then that would be it, you'd be done with Colonel Rick Flag. Or you would have been if you hadn't locked eyes with him through the window.

#colonel rick flag #rick flag x female reader #rick flag x reader #rick flag fanfiction #unrequited love #angst #the suicide squad #dceu

[sally-mun]

Unsurprisingly on my mind due to TKP's blog going through it, I've been meaning to ask (if just to clarify) about if any details from the "Enerjak Reborn" saga ever slip into your universe, even if clearly can't happen due to the characters' relationships. A part of me assumes that the idea you mentioned of Locke becoming the threat he prophesized sounded like the most likely direct replacement for that, but I wonder if any other ideas end up still mimicking it?

First of all, I fucking love your username and as far as I’m concerned you DID decide on a good one.

Anyway, this is an interesting bit of the storyline because it’s in that nebulous place where my partner and I agree that it happened, but we’ve never actually hammered out exactly what happened. For the most part, the bullet points of Finitevus tricking Knuckles into getting hexed and Locke sacrificing himself to release him are agreed to have been in the RP’s backstory, but given the version of Locke that I wrote for the Brotherhood, I’m sure the tone of the situation was very different. I can only imagine what the situation looked like through Locke’s eyes, honestly. In some ways you could argue that Knuckles becoming Enerjak IS the realization of everything Locke worked for, so that begs the question of whether or not he would see that as his premonition coming true. It’s hard to say given that there’s so many other events that have happened leading up to this point that would’ve also gone differently based on the new circumstances, and some that probably didn’t happen all together.

However, here’s my immediate hunch:

1) The events of S3&K definitely happened in the RP’s backstory, although again I’m sure several events played out in different ways. The great point to this is that, as WE all know, this was the fulfillment of the mural that Locke saw on the wall in Hidden Palace, which unknowingly inspired his recurring dream. Locke, however, would’ve taken the arrival of Eggman and the Death Egg with a lot more confusion. Obviously this is the level of threat his premonition insisted upon, but Knuckles wasn’t the one to ultimately defeat it! Some ground-dwelling heathen actually took care of it!!! So no matter how much the situation would seem to fulfill the slot of the Great Evil, it obviously can’t be because Knuckles did not ascend to become the Savior in order to stop it.

2) It’s probably safe to say this cycle happened a few others times, because let’s face it, Angel Island has seen some shit. I don’t think the others probably ever compared to S3&K arc, though, both in terms of the impact it made on the situation (and Locke’s psyche) and the fact that the enemy just plain looks like the figure in Locke’s dreams.

3) This would probably mean that an already paranoid Locke is getting jumpier and jumpier every time a new threat arises, because by now there’ve been so many BIG bad events that he’s probably constantly worrying, “Is this the Great Evil?? IS THIS THE GREAT EVIL??” and his already frayed nerves are probably completely shot.

4) So imagine, then, when Knuckles -- Locke’s only pride and joy, for whom he sacrificed absolutely everything in his life and has been banking on saving everyone’s lives -- seems to have become the Great Evil himself. It’s not enough that he’s powerful on an otherworldly scale and seems to have gone mad with said power; the bigger shock is that Knuckles does, indeed, seem to be fulfilling the criteria of his premonitions. He’s not just terrorizing the rest of the world (which, let’s be honest, Locke probably doesn’t even care about), he’s also terrorizing echidnas. He left Echidnaopolis in ruins by forcibly removing the entire population, and he’s destroying a lot of lives by changing their bodies against their will. The entire echidna species is terrified of what he has become, and what else he might do. Maybe the fact that the Great Evil was enormous in Locke’s dream wasn’t about literal physical scale, but rather, a representation of the enormity of the threat that’s posed.

5) In a perfect world, I’d really like to imagine that this finally, FINALLY, brings Locke a desperately needed moment of clarity. Locke got to the state he ends up in because he’s so afraid of some ambiguous and unidentifiable threat, so maybe the fact that he now CAN identify the threat could be enough to raise that fog. Maybe seeing Knuckles as the evil they need to be protected from will finally be enough to jolt Locke back to reality, and allow him to see just how bad his decisions have been and how Knuckles’ state is, honestly, a very logical conclusion to the chain of events that came before it. Knuckles becoming the Great Evil was always a possibility all along, but Locke was so convinced of the contrary that he just literally couldn’t see it. Now he can see it. Now he can grasp how, no matter how well-intentioned he was, he absolutely, 100%, undeniably caused his son to become the one thing he’s feared all along.

6) If Locke is able to have that moment, and think completely clearly again for even a brief time, then I have no doubt whatsoever that Locke would make that sacrifice to save him. No attempts to find an alternative, no hemming and hawing, no attempts to get everyone to kill Knuckles like in the comic, NONE of that shit. If Locke, the REAL Locke that’s been lost inside the madness all this time is able to wake up for just a few moments, emerges again and learns that the only way to save his boy from the fate he himself unwittingly doomed him to is for someone to give up their own life, Locke would make that sacrifice in a heartbeat. He said back on the day he activated the chaos bath that he wished he could take Knuckles’ burdens away and put himself in his place. This would be one way to do exactly that, to give Knuckles a shot at a real, normal life again, and to atone for the enormous mistakes he made that caused this tragedy.

I think if the situation arose under those sorts of circumstances, it would just make Locke’s sacrifice all the more meaningful. Allowing him to not only realize that he’s the one that ultimately caused all this, but to fully admit to it AND take responsibility without being harangued into doing so completely changes the tone of what he does. It’s not a situation where Locke sees sacrificing himself as something that has to be done, but something that should be done, to atone for his wrongdoings and save the one person he loves more than anyone or anything else in this world.

I don’t see the Locke of the comics as someone who would die for his child without the slightest hesitation, even after more skillful writers get a hold of him; I don’t see the fact that he does so unrealistic, but I honestly think the only reason he does it is because he can’t think of a way out of it. I mean, for fuck’s sake, shortly before doing so he was campaigning TO HAVE KNUCKLES KILLED. I think canon!Locke loves Knuckles in his own weird way, but I think his love for Knuckles comes second to his love for himself, and it always has. Canon!Locke is just simply too arrogant to think of someone else first, even his own child.

Locke the way I write him, however, was always ready to die so that Knuckles could live. It used to be because he felt Knuckles was too important to their people and needed to live to save them, but when all that baggage is lifted, Locke would still die for him simply because he loves him. He would die for him to make his life better, to free him from the prisons he’s been confined to both physically and mentally, to allow him to fully live. He’d die to save his son because he wants him to finally have the life he deserves -- that he always deserved. If the price of Knuckles being happy, healthy, and free is Locke giving up his life, there’d be no force on Mobius that could’ve kept him away from the Master Emerald to do it.

I don’t know if this is quite the sort of answer you were looking for, but again, this was the first impulse that came into my brain. It feels right to me, and probably would be worth exploring in a story sometime. Maybe someone could commission me for it or something, who knows. In the meantime, I hope this paints the picture as well as I’m seeing in my head.

#Sallymun RPs #Locke #cantdecideonagoodusername

[abluescarfonwaston]

   Fair warning, this is a lot lol

Miles finished putting on mascara and walked over to his closet.

   The only person that ever stayed over was Franzy, and he wasn't too worried about her looking through his wardrobe. The silver-haired man moved to the back of his closet and found a skirt. The light red was the same shade as the suit he wore in court. Miles zipped up the back of the skirt and adjusted it at the waist. He moved over and put on a white blouse and threw his jacket over it. Next came the hair extensions, which were, of course, the same as his hair so that it seemed more natural.

   Surprisingly, the prosecutor was almost an expert at walking in heels, but he dressed up a lot, so it became easier after a while. The media was on his back all the time; Newspapers, journalists, even Ms. Hart. "Am I that much of an anomaly?" He thought when she had approached him.

   Miles didn't like all the attention of being "The Demon Prosecutor." He cringed at the thought of it and swore he'd find a way to have it revoked.

 

  The man walked out of his room, down the hall. He walked into the foyer and rubbed Pess behind the ears. The dog wagged her tail and barked. Edgeworth walked out the door, locking it behind him.

   "The car might attract too much attention." He said to himself. Miles walked. He walked for a while, turning down roads and sidewalks. Finally he made it to the park.

   Maya was on the prowl. She was scouting some very pretty ladies to go out for a burger with.

   "That Franziska lady didn't respond!" She wailed when Nick asked what she was doing.

   "Welcome to my world, Maya." He sighed.

   Maya laughed and said "Yeah, but at least Edgeworth makes up excuses." The young spirit medium grabbed Phoenix by the wrist and pulled him over to a food truck. "Nick I'm hungry. Can you get me a burger and I pay you back later?" She said, smiling coyly.

   "I'm 90% sure that you don't even make money." Phoenix grumbled.

   "Rude." Maya said, sticking out her tongue.

   Maya turned around, fully prepared to chain herself to the food truck to get the lawyer's attention. It wasn't her fault that she was hungry. She sat down on a bench, pouting.

   The spiked lawyer rolled his eyes and turned to order a two burgers. As Phoenix had his back to the park, Maya was still a woman on a mission. She scanned the park, up and down, when a familiar almost pink caught her eye. Maya stood up, squinting at the figure a couple yards away.

  "Nick! Nick I'm going. I saw someone pretty, don't wait for me!" She called over her shoulder before breaking into a sprint to the lady. "Hi! I'm Maya, I- hold on let me catch my breath." The figure in front of her stopped abruptly. The woman turned, her bangs falling into her eyes. The lady, despite wearing heels made chasing her quite difficult.

   "Almost lost her!" Miles thought as he ran. He stopped for a moment, hobbling out of the shoes and ran even faster. People were staring. The mascera was starting to run and his lipstick got smudged when Miles wiped his face. He rounded a corner and hid behind a wall. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the bricks.

   "You know, that's not a very good hiding place. Are we playing tag? Don't worry, I won't tell Nick." The girl said, suddenly appearing in front of him. "Oh boy. I have some wipes if you need them."

   "That won't be necessary, thank you though. I- um, I don't know who this Nick person is, or why you approached me, what's happening?"

   "How do you change your voice like that, Mr. Edgewo-" Maya was cut off by Miles, putting his hand over her mouth.

   He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Come with me, I'll buy you lunch and we can discuss this." Edgeworth's voice had returned to it's normal rich baritone.

   "Well, I can't turn down a free meal." Maya said, after removing the hand from her face.

   Miles walked off down the road, only stopping to put the heels back on and make sure Maya was following.  She was. Miles walked into a small diner. The waiter showed them to a booth in the back. "If you would wait right here, Ms. Fey, I'll be right back." Miles walked to the restroom. "Dear God, how did this happen?" He grumbled. After having fixed his makeup, The prosecutor came back out and sat down.

   "Order anything you'd like, Ms. Fey." Edgeworth said. "Now, I know you'd probably like an explanation."

   The waiter interrupted, setting two menus on the table. "Ah thank you." He walked off, smiling.

   "Now, back to the matter at hand." Miles said, turning to the girl across the table. "I want to say immediately that this," he looked down at the skirt "isn't a hobby or something of the likes."

   "Well, I'll say this, your makeup is wonderful and the skirt fits you very well. I won't judge. But why did you dress up?" She said, tilting her head.

   "The- I'll be straightforward with you, everyone is constantly chasing after me. Everyone wants to know if I forged evidence, if rumors about me are true, it's tiring. So, I dress like a woman to throw them off my trail. Only you and Ms. Von Karma know about this. Skirts are quite comfortable though."

   "Oh my god, I know right? I've been trying get Nick to wear one for forever. You know how he is, though. He's so bullheaded."

   Miles opened his mouth to speak, but was once again interrupted by the waiter. "Are you ready to order?"

   "I'll have the burger, extra ketchup, with a side of wings and some tea." Maya said eagerly.

   "I'll just have a water." Edgeworth said. "Ms. Fey, if you wouldn't mention this to Wright, I'd greatly appreciate it."

   "Nick? Oh I'd never. You can count on my lips being sealed." Maya laughed.

   The prosecutor in disguise sighed in relief. "So, what were you and Wright doing in the park?"

   "Well, Ms. Von Karma turned me down to go eat, so I was looking for another girl to ask out. Nick was just along for the ride." Maya giggled before adding "I was going to see if you were free, you look very pretty, but it was mostly the color that caught my eye. It looked familiar, so I went to catch up with you and.... Well here we are!"

   "Well that's certainly and interesting tale. I'll have to scold Franziska for not spending the day with you." He chuckled.

   Once Maya had finished eating, she stood up. "Thank you for the food, I should probably get back. Nick must be worried sick, I left in such a hurry. I guess I'll see you in court some time."

   "At least let me accompany you back to the park." He insisted.

   "Alright, come on!" Maya said, already walking out the door.

   Edgeworth caught up with the spirit medium and walked with her until they were almost a block away from the park.

   "MAYA! MAYA WHERE ARE YOU?" Phoenix's voice rang out.  Miles flinched at the voice, but Maya's head whipped around.

   "I'm over here, Nick. I'm fine." Maya called back. Phoenix ran over and hugged the girl tightly. He was almost sobbing into her shoulder.

   "Nick, what's wrong?" She asked, concerned.

   "I thought I'd lost you again. Don't run off like that, you had me scared. It- It reminded me of that case. I don't like thinking about that." He said, his voice barely a whisper. Maya rubbed his back in smal circles, attempting to calm Nick down.

   "I'm fine Phoenix, I'm okay." She said. Phoenix straightened up at the use of his name. He was so used to her nicknames, it caught him off guard.

   The lawyer wiped his eyes and pinched his nose. "Where did you even go?" He asked, bewildered.

   "I told you, I saw a lady that I thought was pretty and went to catch up with her." Maya said, pointing at Miles, who'd been silent the whole time.

   "Ah, I'm sorry you had to put up with her, she's a-" His voice trailed off as he looked at Edgeworth. "You... Hmm. You look familiar, but I can't-"

   "What's the matter, Nick?" Maya asked.

   "Where have I seen... No. I know who you look like now, gah I'm sorry, you looked like an old friend." Phoenix chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "It's almost scary how much she looks like him. That's, wow, that's like the exact same color, and your bangs-"

   Phoenix froze when he made eye contact with the steel gaze. "Miles?"

   "Surprising, isn't it?" Edgeworth said, gripping the crook of his elbow. He averted his gaze, looking over at a woman walking her dog.

   "Maya, can you pinch me?" Phoenix asked, his eyes glazing over.

   "Okay, it didn't have to be that hard. Can- Can you explain what's happening?" Nick asked, very obviously still confused.

   "Calm down, Nick. Don't be so narrow-minded. It's to throw off reporters." Maya said, exasperated.

   Phoenix's face was beggining to turn red. "Mi- Miles I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I'm going to stop talking."

   "It's fine, Wright." Edgeworth finally released the grip on his arm and looked at the blushing attorney. "I can imagine this is quite shocking. Anyways, I'll be off." He turned to go, but Phoenix grabbed his hand.

   "Wait! Um, well, I- You look nice, Miles. You can pull it off." Phoenix let go of the other man's hand and turned, grabbed Maya and left. He hadn't moved that quickly away from anyone in a while, and he was a mess.

Miles: Everyone is constantly chasing after me. Reporters. Franziska. Wright. You literally ten minutes ago.

Maya: *Chewing her burger* Huh wonder what that’s like.

Love it Aramanna!!!!!!!!

[motivatedtale-blog]

About Motivatedtale

.:Contents:.

.:Author’s Note:.

.:Summary/Idea:.

.:Characters:.

Motive

Unmotivated

.:Stray Facts and Resources:.

FAQ

Rules

.:Inspiration:.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Author’s Note:.

   Hey, so I've noticed this a long time ago but I’m just now confronting it since I got my computer fixed- it seems pretty impossible to reach the “About Motivatedtale” on mobile, even with the literal LINK to the page (I could only sort of access it through some loopholes in a browser- and the link just took me to my Tumblr instead), so I wanted to compile the information that’s in there into a post for any mobile users who may follow this blog. I’ve got more followers here than my art blog-- so even if there’s not much interaction each post, I think there’s at least a few people who might not have access to an about page here. Changes are very likely to be made and things will be added occasionally :)

.:Summary/Idea:.

 “Have you ever wondered what happens to creations when a creator gives up?”

 Motivatedtale is essentially an abandoned AU with no finished story or a plot. Which, ironically, not having a story is the story itself. It’s a tale about how the lack of motivation (along with other things like self doubt and lack of interest) in a Creator leaves a story unfinished, and with no reason to exist, no story, the AU is crumbling into nothingness, as it is being forgotten by the only one who knows about its existence- the Creator. However, there’s two characters in it that have to deal with that burden of having no ending or reasons to exist. And they’re completely aware of what’s going on.

 At least, the first one that was created is aware, because they were made to be that way. They inform the only other character (Frisk/Motive) about all of this when they meet. They’re a Sans of course (which is sort of a self aware joke because a lot of people either start with the Sans of an AU when creating characters, subtly revolve around a Sans of an AU in a story, or the entire story literally and shamelessly revolves around a Sans. This is not an attack on anyone). This Sans goes by Unmotivated, and is quite bitter about existing.  These characters have no finished story, no destiny, and no purpose. Being self aware of this can be a great burden on hope and happiness; ignorance is bliss, after all.

 What the AU would’ve been if it was “completed” is unsure.

 How the story ends is not fully decided or meant to be disclosed (for now), but even if this AU is finished or not, it is already technically complete. It symbolizes a project that is given up on; a project that is abandoned, and what would happen if the characters in these types of projects were conscious about this- if our ideas existed somewhere out there, somewhere where our decisions, intentional and unintentional, have a serious affect.

 So, if this AU is abandoned, it’ll be quite ironic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Characters:.

Motive

    Motive is the Frisk of this AU, and one of only two characters that are in this AU. Motive was created after Unmotivated, but the coloring of their design was given up on towards the very end. Their sweater is unfinished because the creator gave up on them due to being overwhelmed with empty and destructive thoughts, but the outline/shape is still there. The sleeve usually is never shaded/effected by light.

  Motive is an optimist, and believes that their AU will one day be finished. They have the soul of motivation, which is outwardly visible and tied to the loose hanging strap of their overalls. They don’t have preferences in pronouns (though they/them is usually the default), and calling them by any pronoun is fine (she/he/they/it..it really doesn’t matter, honestly).  

  Motive acts impulsively a lot of times and does not think of the consequences of their actions…or, they do, but they choose to move forward with their actions anyways. Since optimism is one of their key traits and it’s exaggerated and simplified in their character and logic, it can result in some bad outcomes. The same goes for their impulsitivity. They’re not that serious natured, and act more like a child than a young adult (despite being 18). However, they do make a lot of (sometimes unnerving) jokes that could be considered uncomfortable, but they mean no harm. While Motive is quite intelligent and empathetic, they’re distracted quite easily and might say or do inappropriate things during certain situations.

  Since Motive is technically a new character and was not fully developed by their Creator (backstory, powers, etc), their underdevelopment as a character is actually a big part of their development as a character. 

(More is to be added later)

Unmotivated

 The Sans of the AU, and the first ever character created (which again is poking fun of the idea that people usually start with the Sans of the AU for characters). Unmotivated is bitter and cynical towards his existence and his Creator, and is completely aware of the multiverse and AU Creators. A big fourth wall breaker. He’s apathetic, bored and often paints himself as emotionless and uncaring to hide any hurt/feelings of helplessness. He bottled them away a long time ago.  At first, Unmotivated was hopeful about his AU, but he was alone for an unspecified but long amount of time in his AU, and was driven to toxicity and bitterness during that time. He’s seen his universe grow, halt, and then slowly deteriorate- he has seen new ideas come and go, and is helpless to stop the rampant decay of his universe- his home- his story. He’s overall a pretty lonely character. 

When or why he got the nickname “Unmotivated” is unclear- but it’s definitely supposed to be a pun. He hates the name but finds it funny and ironic at the same time. 

  Unmotivated’s soul is held by a string that is woven into his rain coat. He considers this to be poor design choice but doesn’t really do anything to fix it. He often keeps his soul in his pocket for safe keeping.  (More is to be added later)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Stray Facts:.

• The AU resets (sort of like an update) each time a new idea is added. This is how Unmotivated is generally aware of Motive when they’re created. • The “Creator” resembles anyone who has abandoned or given up on their projects or ideas. This isn’t meant to put people that do this in a negative light.

•The white of Motive’s sleeve isn’t meant to be shaded since it’s “incomplete.”

FAQ (most are from amino since not many people ask here)

- What was the AU supposed to originally be before it was abandoned?

 This is undecided and left up for interpretation. However, based off of the design of the current characters, it can be safely assumed that the AU was supposed to be more lighthearted and cutesy. There are random bits and ideas spread throughout the AU that give glimpses to what it could’ve been.

- Can I draw fanart of these characters?

 Of course! I’d be honored to receive fanart and would love to see it! Just please keep things appropriate if you do.

- Is Ink Sans or Core Frisk going to be in the comic?

No.

 I’ve gotten asked this several times, and the answer is no. Doing this would completely ruin the theme and point I’m trying to get across with this comic. This story revolves around a Creator and their Creations, and there will be no other characters made by other people.

- Are Motive and Unmotivated shipped together?

NO.

 It’s fine as a joke but please realize they aren’t. This isn’t an AU centered around romance and would distract from the goal of the comic if I had that. While I’m not anti-frans in any sense, I still don’t want it in my comic.

- How often do you plan on updating the comic?

  Each page is published whenever I finish it nowadays due to stress of a schedule. I post them in bulks of 2-3 on amino and twitter, and whenever I finish the page on deviantart, instagram and here.

- Is the Creator a character?

 Yes, and no. The Creator represents not only myself, but any artist that has struggles putting their creations out there due to insecurities or other causes. They’re more symbolic and fluent rather than a structured and identified character. Of course though, if there is any introduction of the Creator, I would have to give them some sort of design- and I do have general ideas of what they’d look like. However, they’re still supposed to represent a broader group of people than just myself.

- What does Unmotivated think about other AUs/Sanses?

 Unmotivated has an apathetic mindset when it comes to AUs and other characters like him. He’s incredibly self aware and sees a much bigger picture. He knows characters are just pawns to their creator, and won’t get fazed by any story. Sort of like watching actors in a movie while constantly reminding yourself that they’re just actors. However, he is quite envious of anyone with a complete and happy storyline, since that’s something he lacks but yearns the most. That’s something he wish he had.

 Keep in mind Unmotivated and Motive cannot interact or travel outside of their AU, and no one can interact with their AU except the editor/creator.

Rules

• Please do not publicly RP with these characters unless given permission. This might be changed after more of the comic is complete, but I do not want these character’s personalities to be strewn.

•  Please do not draw or write NSFW with my characters– I am a minor, and a large part of my audience are also minors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.:Inspiration:.

  Alright, this part is going to be a lot less formal and more personal. The idea for this AU came from my own self doubt and self destructive attitude as a creator. Doubting my own works and ideas has seriously held me back for a long time, and it STILL holds me back as I’m sure it has for many, MANY other creators like me. Musicians, artists, writers.. Almost all of us have that fear of trying out a new idea or making something you usually wouldn’t. Almost all of us have felt that crushing self doubt when you see someone better than you, and you tell yourself you’ll never be like them, your art will never be that great, you’ll never get that far…so on, so on.

  So, while I was trying to come up with an idea for an AU (which I had actually been considering for well over a year), the thoughts crept in.

“no one will like this”

“there’s enough AU’s”

“you’re unoriginal”

“this is a waste of time”

“the fandom is dying”

“you have horrible character designs”

“AU’s are overrated”

“this doesn’t fit your audience”

“people will judge you”

“you never finish anything”

“this is stupid”

“your art isn’t good enough”

“you’re not good enough”

“someone probably already came up with this idea”

“no one cares about your idea”

“no one would bother with your art”

  And ironically, all these thoughts gave me this idea.

  Even so, these thoughts have still been nagging me every time I even try to work on this, and it’s been taking a lot of courage to take on the heap of anxiety I have over something so harmless. I didn’t join the Undertale fandom for over a year simply because I was afraid of being judged for my interests,, fun fact. Never thought I’d be able to make an AU. I’m still quite nervous posting art of anything that isn’t Mario related for some reason.

  Putting all this to side though, I find the concept of what happens to unfinished and/or abandoned stories and projects interesting, especially if there’s an alternate reality that’s actually effected by your decisions. Kinda like you’re a god. I mean, imagine what it would be like if you had a creator and they just gave up on you, and you’re left with no purpose. Seems like it would suck, haha.

  So that’s basically my AU, Motivatedtale. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading if you did!

#Motivatedtale #undertale au #comic #about page #alternate universe #information #motivatedtale comic #au #au comic #au sans #au frisk #motive #unmotivated

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Idk if you've done this before and I've got nothing creative so please could I get some Headcanons for The Bucci Gang if their S/o suddenly disappeared out of thin air. Not bc of a stand or anything, she just disappeared and didn't even say goodbye? What if like years later, they come across their S/o again and if they talk, she seems as though she's never met them before? But she actually has no idea who they are. Weird ik but yeah.

My 🅱️ruh u better give urself more credit bc this is one of the most original ones I’ve gotten so far-

Bruno:

- Once he learns about s/o’s disappearance, he’ll be in constant denial for a few days because he simply cannot (and doesn’t want to) grasp the concept of his partner leaving his side like that out of nowhere. He always tries staying as logical as possible even during stressful situations, therefore he’ll try not to worry too much in the beginning, continuously telling himself that s/o has to pop up soon enough.

- Alas that doesn’t happen and after a week the man is in a damn frenzy. Bruno would start being uncharacteristically stressed as well as slightly more snappy, and the gang would undoubtedly notice it too. The man would then begin to eratically search for his partner left and right, sending his subordinates to investigate the entire city, but all to no avail of course.

- Weeks would turn into months, then months would become years and s/o would still be nowhere to be found. Each second of her not being by his side would absolutely crush Bruno’s poor heart, making the man become significantly more closed off and distant. So just imagine the pure shock that would take over his features once s/o would just pop in out of nowhere one day. The pain would only get worse once he’d realize that for some reason she has no idea who he is. Honestly this would entirely fuck him up and he’ll spend (even more) nights fully awake, thinking about what went wrong and desperately trying to find a reason as to why his s/o decided to leave him one day just like that. To be honest, it would have been better for him if she never showed up again at all.

Giorno:

- Similar to Bruno, as in he doesn’t outright panic and tries going over things logically. He thinks of all sorts of scenarios and reasons as to why his s/o would just disappear out of thin air without even leaving him a message or something before going away. It’s extremely uncharacteristic of her he has to admit, but he still tries to keep a (somehow) optimistic attitude. She HAS to show up sooner or later....right?

- But of course that it doesn’t happen and so he takes it upon himself to go and search for her. At first Gio would think that it was the work of an enemy stand or perhaps the mafia again, but turns out that it wasn’t the case at all. No matter where he went to or who he asked, he just couldn’t find a single trace about s/o’s whereabouts. That’s when he’d start panicking for real and would slowly become more and more sleepless and grief filled. He just doesn’t get why s/o would ever do such a cruel and unexplainable thing.

- Gio would be utterly shocked to randomly spot her one day after so many years, so he’d waste no time and approach her with a hopeful smile. That’s when his heart would get shattered once more, for s/o would be looking at him with the emptiest and most coldest look that he’d ever seen. Gio would ask her dozens of questions, but to no avail. She’d keep claiming that she has no idea who he is and that’s when he’d realize that he truly is hopeless. He’ll bitterly accept the fact that he’ll never get his partner back, but the memories of his past are going to haunt him forever. At this point, it’s almost as if it would have been better if s/o was actually dead. Then again, she is dead to him for sure.

Abbacchio:

- Probably the one who would react in the worst way. Like prepare for maximum fucking angst, because this is one of the quickest ways to COMPLETELY fuck this already damaged man over. It’s already hard enough for him to let people in, so just imagine how hurt and betrayed he’d feel once he’d realize that his s/o suddenly vanished from his life without a trace.

- That’s when Abba would swear to never open up to anyone, and this time he’d REALLY mean it. He already lost someone in the past, so this would be like reliving trauma all over again for him. At this point he won’t even search for her, the man would just completely shut off from everything and everyone and dwell in grief and repressed anger. He feels utterly betrayed and keeps beating himself up for being so foolish as to open up to someone else again. Despite the fact that the rest of the gang would be there for him and trying to get him to loosen up, all of their attempts are sadly going to be in vain.

- So when s/o DOES eventually show up after long and painful years, Abba is going to straight up ignore her. Yes, you heard that right. He wouldn’t even want to look her in the eyes, that’s how spiteful and hurt he still is, even after literal years. And it’s probably for the best anyway, because if he were to find out that she also completely forgot about him, that would have been the last straw honestly. Even to this day, Abbacchio keeps telling himself that things would have been far more bearable if s/o didn’t return at all.

Mista:

- Instant fucking panic. He already worries enough whenever s/o comes home later than usual and all of that, so just imagine the sheer anxiety that would take over the poor man when his partner would be nowhere to be found an entire fucking day. And it would only get worse as more days would go on. At some point he’ll even start crying over and over again and no matter what the rest of his gang would try, it wouldn’t help soothe his nerves at all.

- Mista is going to beg his gang to help him find his s/o and the man will literally lose sleep since he’d be unable to stop his racing thoughts at all times. His mind would keep coming up with countless of complicated and highkey tragic scenarios about his s/o dying or getting kidnapped. I mean, that would be the only logical explanation for her sudden disappearance, right? Why else would she just leave him randomly like that? 

- Once s/o shows up again after literal years, he’s going to burst into tears and immediately run up to hug her only to notice that she’s acting extremely off. This wasn’t the s/o that he knew years ago. What in the world happened? The man would bombard s/o with questions, and when she’d reply that she has no idea who he is Mista is going to have a goddamn aneurysm. That’s when he’d throw tantrum and accuse her of being a liar, starting to rant about how hard the past years have been for him and how hurt he was by her sudden departure, only to be met with another empty look from his now ex partner. Once again, maybe it would have been better if she didn’t return at all.

Fugo:

- Reacts almost as bad as Abbacchio tbh. Fugo doesn’t easily trust, but when he does he TRUSTS so he’d feel twice as betrayed by his partner suddenly leaving him. He’d immediately go into panic mode after a few days so he’ll start desperately seeking answers left and right. Poor man would have EVEN more anger outbursts than usual since he’d be stressed out of his damn mind.

- He would start isolating himself and thinking over this entire situation inside the cold emptiness of his room. Literally everything would start reminding him of his s/o and, although he hates showing emotions, the man would start crying himself to sleep night after night thinking about how lovely it felt to wrap his arms around his partner’s body as he contently drifted off to sleep. But not anymore. All of that was cruelly ripped away from him one day, and something keeps telling him that he’ll never experience it ever again.

- Alas his instinct was right, because the day s/o returns Fugo’s heart is only going to get crushed more. The man would instantly lighten up and would almost cry out of happiness once he’d see her again, starting to run up to her only to stop dead in his tracks when he notices the look on her face. His confusion and anger would only grow as s/o would keep telling him that she has no fucking idea who he is. At this point it would be too much and Fugo would just say fuck it and throw a few nasty curses at her before storming off, tears of disappointment and repressed anger running down his cheeks. Yes, it truly would have been better if she never ever showed up again.

Narancia:

- Immediately freaks out after one mere day passes. He starts looking for her left and right, asking anyone if they seen her or if they know anything about her whereabouts. Hell, he’ll even beg Bruno to help him search for her with the most desperate expression ever plastered on his pained face. In the beginning he would try being as optimistic as possible, constantly reassuring himself that it will all solve itself and that s/o will return at some point.

- But that sadly doesn’t happen, and so poor Narancia would slowly seep into despair more and more with each passing day. Every second in which s/o wasn’t by his side was pure torture for him, and at some point he even started to lose good amounts of sleep because of it. Narancia is not one to be negative usually, but this would cause even him to become pessimistic and even hopeless at some point. He’d be constantly locking himself up in his room, most likely crying as he remembers all the wonderful memories that he made with s/o. If he wasn’t curled up in a corner in his room, he was entirely ignoring everything around him and constantly spacing out in his own dooming thoughts.

- Now, the second he sees s/o again he’s running towards her at the speed of light whilst exclaiming that he knew that she’d come back at some point. But this ain’t no fairytale, so Narancia’s dreams would get crushed once again when he hears s/o confess that she doesn’t know him at all. He’ll take it as a joke at first and try to humor her, only to realize that she was dead serious the entirety of time. That’s when the panic would settle in again and he’d desperately try to make her remember him by showing her pictures or telling her things that only she knew about him, but to no avail. Narancia would start wailing again and he’d dread the day that he met her. Sadly, it would have certainly been better if she didn’t return at all. 

Bonus - Trish:

- Absolutely fucking heartbroken, She had dedicated herself entirely to s/o only to discover that she one day disappeared from her life without a single explanation. Although Trish isn’t usually pessimistic, she’d start beating herself up for s/o’s disappearence since she’d start believing that she somehow did something to upset s/o THAT much that she felt the need to just...leave.

- Similarly to Narancia, Trish would soon enough lose the last bit of hope that she had left and would slowly start shutting off more and more. Her appetite is going to decrease and she’ll start having little to no motivation to do pretty much anything. Bruno would constantly be taking care of her and bringing her food, and his heart would break whenever Trish would weakly refuse it all. Literally no one would be able to cheer her up since she’d be literally fucking depressed.

- The day s/o returns though is going to be an even bigger blow to her already shattered heart. She would be unbelievably happy to see s/o again, and so she’ll start asking her dozens of questions only to be cut off by a cold “and who are you?”. Of course that this would absolutely shock Trish and she’ll be confused as all fuck by s/o’s weird ass behavior, but Trish being Trish, she wouldn’t give up at all and would stubbornly press s/o for answers which would only result in her getting more and more angry when she gets no answers. She cannot comprehend why s/o forgot about her, and honestly it would have been better if she never returned altogether.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #bucci gang #jojo headcanons #headcanons #one of the rare pieces of total fucking angst on this blog #yikes

[shawnpetermuffins]

In Case You Didn't Know

(Based off In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young)

Summary: Shawn's so in love with you, but he doesn't know how to say it.

A/n: this is all over the place, theres time jumps and flashbacks and no real distinction between them, so yeah. I actually really like this song and I might end up writing some more stories based off songs, so let me know if you want that.

Requested: no

Warnings: just fluff

***

I can't count the times / I almost said what's on my mind / but I didn't

She's sleeping soundly on the couch, head laying on the arm rest, blanket up to her shoulders. She's absolutely beautiful, I think to myself. Her hair falls messily in her face, lips parted with a soft snore, and even though she's covered, I know her arms are wrapped around her middle in an attempt to keep warm in this arctic apartment of mine. I make a mental note to turn on the heater after I take her up to bed. She couldn’t even make it through half of the movie before her eyes became heavy, and if I was interested in watching the movie, I wouldn’t have even noticed, but I was watching her the whole time. It’s the first time I’ve been able to see her this way, completely exhausted from studying for her exams, hair a mess, face bare and slightly red and blotchy from stress crying.

I want so badly to wake her sleeping figure and tell her to just quit, come on the road with me for the second leg of tour. I’ll take care of everything; I’ll take care of her. Anything she wants, it’s hers, no questions asked. But I can’t tell her that. Because no matter how stressed she is now, I know it doesn’t change how incandescently happy she is when she talks about her favorite class, her favorite professor. The way she talks about all the things she’s going to change when she finishes school.

Just the other day / wrote down all the things I’d say / but I couldn’t / I just couldn’t

Being with her only a few months, eight to be exact, I keep finding myself refraining from telling her how I feel. And I know that being on tour for six out of the eight months we’ve been together is definitely taking a toll on her, and me too. I’m never here when she needs me, and to see her the way she is right now, I know that I can’t keep these feelings from her much longer.

Because if she’s crying over a test that she’s about to take when I am here, I’m scared to know what she cries about when I’m not. Does she cry about me? About me not being here? When I left before, she held in the tears - so did I - but we’d only been together a month. Maybe she didn’t want to seem too attached. I know I didn’t, but Brian knows how much leaving her put me in this week long funk. I called and texted her constantly until I realized that doing that only made it even harder to be away from her. So I calmed a bit, not by choice, but by necessity.

Seeing her sleeping so peacefully, now curled in my sheets, hugging my pillow, I can’t help but smile. I could write a million songs just about this moments alone, and that’s exactly what I go back to the living room to do. To write yet another song about the girl in my bed, hoping and praying that she’ll still be there come daybreak.

Baby I know that you’ve been wondering / mmm, so here goes nothing / in case you didn’t know / baby I’m crazy ‘bout you

Sheets of paper litter the top of the piano, the coffee table, literally any surface that was once clear isn't now. I'm scribbling out a new lyric, and start strumming the melody that's been stuck in my head since she fell asleep next to me.

My mind is a jumbled mess. She has me feeling every possible emotion and I can't convey it in just one song. So every new idea gets written down and I hope I'll find a place for it in another song later. I'm going crazy, my mind working faster than my hand can write, and the song doesn't sound right with the guitar riff, but then it doesn't sound right with the piano. It's all wrong. None of it is good enough for her and I need it to be good enough.

And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you / even though / I don't tell you all the time / You had my heart a long, long time ago / in case you didn't know

I know it hasn't even been a year and I sound like a love sick puppy. And that if you ask anyone that doesn't know me personally, they'd say that this relationship is all for show. That I'm doing it for the publicity. That she's getting paid. None of it's true.

She's everything I have ever wanted. Ever needed. And its so hard for me to think back to even just nine months ago. I wonder how I did anything before her. How did I cope with my anxiety when she wasn't there coaxing me through it, lulling me back to reality and not the fucked up place my mind always wandered to?

If I can't think back to nine months ago, before she became my everything, how am I supposed to look forward and not see her in every possible situation that I could be put it?

The way you look tonight / that second glass of wine / that did it, mmm

Dinner at her apartment is everything. Except she won't let me actually cook. She's scared I'll burn the building down. Which, to be fair, could very well happen. So I'm only allowed to cut things, and of course pour her wine. She's stirring the rice while I sit at the little bar area, head resting in my hand while I stare lovingly at her. Her cheeks are slightly pink from both the heat from the stove and from the glass of red she's sipping from.

"You're staring," she says softly, and looks over at me.

I clear my throat and look down at my half empty glass, "Sorry. Can't help it. You're just so pretty."

She looked down at her outfit, and squinted skeptically at me. "Jeans and a two-sizes-too-big flannel? Oh yeah, I'm sure I look real cute," she replies sarcastically, with a disbelieving eye roll.

"You do," I say, matter-of-factly. "With you hair pulled up like that," I gesture to pony tail that was currently falling because she didn't wrap the rubber band around enough. "And your eyes just being as beautiful and bright as ever. How could I not stare at you forever?"

This causes her to become even more red, if that's possible, and I pull out my phone, swiftly snapping a picture of her because she is just so pretty and I want to see her like this forever.

"Stop it!" She whines, turning away from me.

"But you look so cute," I say, turning my phone around so she can see the vibrant blush on her cheeks.

She just shakes her head and takes another sip. I can't help but watch the way her lips curve around the lip of the glass, and my whole body tingles at the promise of those lips touching mine later.

There was something 'bout that kiss/ girl it did me in / got me thinking / I've been thinking

I pull her body close to mine when she puts the dishes in the sink. "Thank you for tonight," I mumble into her shoulder.

She hums and her hands cover mine on her stomach. "You're welcome bub. So glad you could make some time for a meal this week. I was starting to think you didn't eat," she says teasingly.

I manage a small apology, pressing my lips to the soft skin of her collar bone. I know I've been literally everywhere but with her this week and it's been killing me. But even just a night like this was enough to make me forget about all my stress up to this point.

She turns her head to face me and plays with my currently overfluffy curls. "I adore you, my little rockstar," she whispered into my hair.

I look up at her with a sleepy smile and hooded eyes. I only have a second to react before her lips press to mine in a soft, passionate kiss. And all I can think is that I could stay this way for the rest of my life and never get tired of the feel of her lips.

One of those things that I've been feeling / mmm, it's time you hear 'em

I'm still watching her as we wash the dishes together. She's washing, I'm drying. It's the simplest of systems, but it's also so domesticated and it makes me sad knowing that I can't give her that domestic life one day. Husband a d kids, nice suburban home to come to every night. I'm traveling too often to give her that simple life that she so desperately deserves, even though she's told me before that she doesn't care about that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks after washing the last plate, handing it to me. I smile sheepishly at the way she's leaning against the counter, one leg crossed in front of the other, hands playing with the neck of her shirt.

I finish drying the plate before I speak. I place the towel I was holding on the counter and reach for her hands. "Can I tell you something, pumpkin?"

You've got all of me / I belong to you / yeah you're my everything / in case you didn't know

"Anything," she squeezes my hands reassuringly.

I can't look into her eyes, so I stare at our linked hands and sigh contently at the feel of her small, soft, cold hands in my large, calloused, hot hands. I don't know why telling her this is so hard for me, it shouldn't be. I write about love all the time.

But I've never felt it. Not like this. Not when my heart feels like it's literally about to burst out of my chest when she smiles at me. Not when I can't help but stumble on my way to her because I'm staring so hard that I trip over my own feet. Not when an interviewer asks me what my favorite thing about going home is and my immediate thought is her. She's my home. Whether we live together or not. She's it. She's my everything and that's fucking terrifying. I never thought I would become this dependent on someone else.

"Bub, what's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" She asks, breaking me from my own thoughts, trying to catch my eye.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat and finally meet her intense gaze. If I had to decipher what that look meant, I'd say she was looking at me the same way I look at her. With that endless amount of love, lust, compassion, and adoration that my expression hopefully conveys. Why she chose me of all the people to be with, I'll never know. But she did. So I say it.

"I love you," I finally manage to say, but it's so low I don't even know if she heard me.

She doesn't respond for a while and I'm searching her face for any sign that it'll give me, saying that I crossed a line, that we weren't ready. But just as I'm opening my mouth to apologize, her lips cover mine, tongue slipping effortlessly into my mouth. And I hold her body tight against me, so tight I don't think she can breathe properly, but she makes no move to leave my arms and I have no intention of letting her go. So I hold her while we kiss under the harsh light of her kitchen and I let out a low whimper when she goes to ultimately pull away.

"Say it again," she begs.

And I do, kissing her cheek. "I love you." Her nose, "I love you." Her forehead, "I love you." And finally, once again. Her lips. "I love you."

She sighs, eyes fluttering shut while her fingers trace my jaw and then the curves of my mouth, my nose. "I love you, too." She kisses both of my eyelids before she says it again. "I love you so much."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @bbellbagel @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste

I've literally been writing this since February and it's not even the way I wanted it 🤷‍♀️ but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. A little fluff to counteract with the angst I gave y'all on Wednesday.

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn peter raul #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #smfsource

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: Well, that was a laugh and a half Janis: do you actually want any drink or, anything else you can't get Grace: I'm not even going so no thanks Janis: Really Grace: they can drag me while I'm in the comfort of my room with my makeup fridge and hair wand just as easily Grace: I literally don't need to subject myself to camping Janis: Like you said, you actually wanted to go, they don't, you're really gonna bow out now Grace: & now I also don't obvs Janis: So you roll over again, yeah? Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm not sorry for not wanting to share a tent with Mia and Ella when they're like in love with each other or something Janis: 🙄 It's bullshit, Grace Janis: you aren't going to be in the bloody tent for any amount of time, it's a music festival, remember Grace: sure but I'm gonna have to be in the car forever and that's with you two so Janis: That's nice Janis: and it sounds like Asia might be too, or the other one Grace: yeah like you're so buzzing about it, babes Janis: I'll survive Janis: seriously, you can't not go, let them win Janis: that whole convo was depressing enough without her getting everything she wants, like Grace: I'm not you, I don't just do things cos other people don't want me to Janis: so spend another weekend moping when you could be doing something Grace: like she won't make sure I'm having the WORST time if I go Janis: like she doesn't make sure you're having the worst time always? Janis: fuck all different, is it Grace: it's not always like that Janis: sure Grace: it's not Grace: & it's your fault it is now Grace: idk why you had to start hanging out with us, you've sent her into the BIGGEST spiral literally ever Janis: yeah, would be my fault, 'course Janis: not obvious that she can't stand any of you unless you're doing exactly what she wants when she wants it Grace: it is your fault though! there's no way you wanna go to some lame music festival with any of us Grace: I'm not stupid Janis: What possible pleasure could I derive from any of this if not the joy of our company Janis: do tell Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Seriously Janis: I'm not one of your friends, not that underhand and it's not that deep Grace: You're not being at all serious thanks Janis: how am I not Grace: Oh please Grace: literally not in the mood so Janis: yeah, I heard Janis: if you're so aggy she makes you look like a cunt, then stop playing into her hands every time Janis: she doesn't want to go, if you all jump ship, so can she Janis: it isn't difficult Grace: Duh Grace: but I'm the only one who isn't going so she has to Janis: Are you sure you're not stupid Janis: are you listening Grace: It's totally obvs that you think I am, babes Grace: we don't even need to do this Janis: do what Grace: have any kind of convo Janis: yeah, you left your manners at the door but since you've proved you're a total pussy in that convo it's falling a bit flat now Grace: okay Janis: Jesus, how are you such a doormat for someone when you're not even first choice Janis: sort it out Grace: Literally didn't ask for your sisterly advice Janis: well you need it Janis: state of that, abysmal, seriously Grace: can you just stop Janis: can you Janis: a better fucking question Grace: obvs not Janis: Christ Grace: It literally doesn't effect you if I do or don't go Grace: get over it Janis: it effects me you being a fucking joke Grace: no more than usual Janis: Fine Grace: 👋💜 then Janis: don't throw that at me Janis: not one of your 'mates' Grace: you wanted me to have some manners, hun Grace: but fine Janis: yeah, and that ain't it Janis: we've all seen how you use emojis Janis: passive aggression is still the latter, you're just being a wimp with it Grace: I'm not her, excuse you Grace: if I were, all this drama wouldn't be happening rn Janis: Don't pretend you mean half the shit you say Janis: your storytimes are more believable Grace: RUDE Janis: generous Grace: you're my sister, I mean what I say to you Janis: that's why you don't say shit Grace: ugh Janis: go on then, what are you gonna do with your weekend instead Grace: 🤷 boys have their uses Janis: yeah, that's a plan Grace: again, didn't ask Janis: no, I did, that's how a conversation works Janis: that's not even your idea, it's Asia's Janis: you're really going to her for the 🔥💡 are you Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: cos going to the festival is such a 🔥💡 Janis: Yeah, that's why it's ticketed Janis: won't need to douche with bleach after either, best of both worlds Grace: EW Janis: yeah yeah Janis: are you really gonna leave Asia alone with those two Grace: UM you could read how quickly she turned on Hollie Grace: price of a spray tan and some acrylics Janis: She's thick Janis: you all want Mia to love you as bad as each other, at least being stupid is a valid excuse for that kind of behaviour Grace: me too, right? Janis: You going to say you don't? Grace: I'm not gay any more than you are, thank you Janis: 🙄🙄 Grace: I would love to know who she's planning to invite but not cos I'm 💔😍😍 Janis: I know Janis: but doubt it'll happen, or she has the bottle to Grace: you don't have any exes do you? Janis: loads Grace: I'm being serious Janis: so am I Grace: you are NOT Janis: and you'd know, how Janis: don't ask questions when you reckon you know the answers Grace: I'd know cos everyone else would if there were loads Grace: you'd be called everything I am, duh Janis: I'm better at keeping my life private Grace: well again, duh Janis: not hard Janis: so not 💔 Grace: I was just wondering if that was who she was bringing Grace: she's really as obsessed with you as you think any of us are about her Janis: I told you, I already know who it is Janis: and I don't need to think hard on that Grace: as if you're not gonna tell me who it is Janis: not anyone exciting Janis: or gonna happen, like I said Janis: now they've got Asia back, only need to win 'round whatserface too and the car is full again Grace: 🤷 Grace: maybe Ella's seat will be free for her mystery date, if Hollie spilt anything dramatic enough Janis: and lose her loyalest pet Janis: you're all just playing musical chairs Grace: it's happened before Janis: yeah, and like I said, musical chairs Janis: fuck all changes Janis: you're all still 'friends' whatever the dynamic you reckon Janis: her>you Grace: & like I've said repeatedly since you started hanging out with us why are you 'friends' with any of them now? Janis: why'd ya think Grace: why won't you just tell me? Janis: why would I Grace: UM maybe cos you've been shading me constantly for not standing up to them & you're inviting them all to festivals and joining us on sleepovers like they're your new besties Janis: come on, it ain't hard Grace: so say it Janis: it's different 'cos I don't care about them or what they've got to say Janis: and I'd tell 'em the same so you can go ahead if that's your plan or whatever Janis: like I said, not that deep Grace: I don't have a plan Grace: obvs I'm the only one who doesn't rn Janis: obviously Janis: have you ever met your mates Grace: Why can't you just go back to hating me and them from afar or whatever? Grace: you're ruining everything Janis: yeah Janis: you was well solid before this Janis: I didn't have to do shit, that's the truth Janis: I didn't say anything in that entire convo Grace: you literally know you don't have to Grace: she's mad at me for being your sister Grace: which I didn't even ask for Janis: 💔 Janis: such a good friend Janis: get a grip and say you aren't obsessed with her again, like Grace: forget it Janis: mhmm Grace: have fun at the stupid festival Janis: Honestly, Grace, grow up Grace: yeah cos game playing is SO mature Janis: Like you said, I literally don't have to Grace: No, you've just been telling me to instead Janis: 'cos what you're doing and always do now is??? Janis: you play to lose, that's the only difference Grace: I'm not playing is the difference Grace: like this is my actual life Janis: Hardly Grace: 👌👌 Janis: have fun dancing to Mia's beat, as always Grace: I'm literally not, thanks to you, babes Janis: bollocks aren't you Grace: lacking a colour co-ordinated 💅 rn so Janis: yeah, to punish you, so you do what she knows you'll do Janis: cry in your bedroom Janis: then she won't be feeling it, 'cos you and Holly are marding so the three amigos will doss about hers taking selfies instead Janis: I told you, it's fucking obvious what her plan was, and it'll be all your fault 'cos they were well up for it Grace: UGH Grace: I'm not stupid, okay? Grace: not THAT stupid anyway Grace: I know Janis: so do something about it Janis: or are you really that fucked up you can't wait to make it all up to them Grace: Shut up, no Janis: then come, convince your mate to come, and have a good time Janis: fucking hell, is it so hard Grace: It won't be a good time though, will it? Grace: it's fine for you, you won't be sharing a tent or anything else with her Grace: just your boyfriend Janis: yeah, 'cos as mentioned, love spending time with you lot Janis: do it to spite her, there's plenty of distraction Janis: not to mention plenty of tents in our loft if you literally can't stand the sight of her Grace: oh she'd love that, me covered in 🕷 Grace: if I go I obvs have to share a tent with her and be so unaffected duh Janis: bring good headphones Janis: decent shout anyway Grace: if Asia's bf decides to show up yeah Grace: UGH Janis: or Mia's Janis: #2s 😭 obvs Grace: well now I'm like so torn cos I want Ella to be 💔 but I don't want Mia to invite whoever the hell Grace: do I make sure the car is too full or not? 🤔🤔 Janis: not like she'd have him stay anyway Janis: probably come for the saturday night Janis: didn't like have any boys around her when she 😴 Janis: never mind one she's fucking/wants to Grace: PLEASE tell me who it is Janis: 😂 why does it matter who her latest fucktoy is Grace: cos she doesn't want me to know Janis: you think he's gonna be like well ugly then yeah Grace: you don't understand, she ALWAYS wants me to know Grace: so if she doesn't Grace: it's worse than ugly Janis: you'll see if she's not bullshitting, won't you Janis: tents aren't that private Grace: OMG Janis Grace: I'll come if you tell me Janis: 😏 you can't bribe me Janis: might be wrong, anyway but doubt it Grace: fine, I'll do everything I can while we're there to annoy Mia if you tell me Janis: swear on your life Grace: you don't place any value on my life, babes Grace: but I swear on the contents of my make up fridge that you're basically forcing me to leave behind, sure Janis: we aren't even getting into the stupidity of that rn Janis: do you see them keeping makeup in shops in fridges? no, you know why? 'cos you're gonna put it on your face, you donut Janis: [sends Harry's deets] Janis: obvs she wants to ride him too but Jim got into a fight with him so that's why she's being sly Grace: in shops they don't want it to have a long shelf life or work well cos then you'll buy more, DUH Grace: OMG I've literally hooked up with the other boy in his profile pic, that's so awkward Janis: Gross Grace: yeah he so was Grace: I see why she was encouraging me to now though Janis: Grosser still Janis: you know that's called prostitution, yeah Grace: excuse you Grace: he didn't even pay for my uber, thank you Janis: you don't get paid, your pimp does, idiot Grace: she's not my Grace: GROSS Janis: your friendship is so fucking twisted Grace: stop dragging me for like one second Grace: how recent of an ex of yours is he? Janis: it's only 50% you Janis: and what are you on about Grace: girl code Grace: even if you are only fake friends Janis: I don't need to invoke the sacred and ancient girl code, you're alright Grace: do you wanna ruin her life or just mine? 🙄🙄 Janis: I reckon she's frustrated enough Janis: I really don't care if she adds another body to her count, tbh Grace: your boyfriend obvs cares, unless he fought him for a different reason Grace: like his tragic pic captions Janis: could be Janis: very serious about that sort of thing Grace: hipsters always are, babes Janis: this from the girl who drafts all her posts so they really pop Janis: meant to be, clearly Grace: 🤫🤫🤫🤫 Janis: your #influencer secrets are safe with me Janis: mostly because idgaf Grace: ILY too hun Janis: yeah yeah Janis: if he does come, how can we fuck her over Janis: without 'girl code' Grace: I'd offer to hook up with him before she can but I'm not going anywhere you've ever Grace: I'd have to kms Janis: remember what we talked about Janis: prostitution is never the answer Janis: fuck it, I'll think of something Grace: he won't come Grace: I can tell by his feed Janis: meaning? Grace: I'm stupid but I understand boys Grace: the type he is and the type he isn't Janis: very philosophical, babe Janis: but I meant literally Grace: literally he's not gonna show up for her like that Janis: maybe not Grace: & if he knows you're there, which he can't not Janis: not everyone avoids me like the plague, cheers Grace: Duh, I mean if he showed up she can't be sure it's for her Grace: she'd hate that Janis: she'd put up with it to fuck me over though Grace: yeah but is he gonna put up with the possibility that barista boy wins another fight, I doubt it Janis: true Janis: 🤞 Grace: all he has is what he fronts, obvs Grace: it's a totally stupid risk and for what? you're not gonna hook up with him again Janis: he is totally stupid Janis: if his feed isn't giving that away 🔮 Grace: it is Grace: but like Grace: he won't come Janis: Poor Mia Grace: literally never say that again it's too weird Janis: but she'll be 💔 I'm not Grace: she'd need a 💜 Janis: same here Janis: 🤫🤫🤫🤫 Grace: Oh please Grace: you're so 😍😍😍 it's gross Janis: shut up or I'll bombard you with green emojis Grace: wtf was that Grace: 🙄 Janis: was amusing, give you that Janis: but don't reckon much to any of your debate skills Grace: thanks Grace: I swear Mia was a totally different person before Ella moved here, so not even fair that you get barista boy and we get her tbh Janis: that's what a 💀 pact will do to you Grace: it's not funny Janis: not gonna cry for every girl that wants to starve herself Grace: yeah you'd need emotions that aren't 😍🤤 & 😒😠 Janis: and why would I want that Grace: 🙄🤷 Janis: yeah, seems a right laugh Janis: get on it asap Grace: sure Janis: 👋 k, toodles Grace: ugh don't even Janis: 😂 Grace: Iggy's taking us Janis: ugh Janis: alright Grace: IKR but I'm so glad it's not dad Janis: have to hitchhike if it was Grace: we could casually leave all Mia's stuff behind if we were though 😂 Janis: still time Grace: & I obvs need the exercise cos I'm SO JEALOUS of how Ella looks Janis: wouldn't be enough even if the festival was in the south pole, babes Grace: okay thanks for joining in on giving me a freakout now that I am going Janis: shut up 🙄 Grace: yeah obvs have to go have that freakout sooo Janis: if you wanna look like you're dying, go 'head and start killing yourself Janis: nothing goals about it is there Grace: I don't have to wanna look like her to not wanna look like THIS Janis: like what Janis: a normal person Grace: like do not Janis: 🤷 Janis: whatever Grace: UM no we're not fake friends Grace: so you can stop Janis: I'm really not saying anything though Grace: 👌👌 Janis: see you tomorrow then Grace: yeah

[cat-scarr]

Accusing Ben of being “sexist”

Besides the fact that I can’t articulate a point in the series where he actually did something seriously sexist, I do have a few points to make about this topic.

There is sexism portrayed in the series, it’s just not Ben doing it. 

I’d like to bring attention to the Ben 10: Ultimate Alien episode “Revenge of the Swarm.”  

This episode brings back Elena Validus, Ben’s childhood friend and heavily implied love interest as the series progresses. This will obviously start a bit of drama considering that now Ben has a girlfriend, Julie, who his relationship with over the last couple seasons has been through quite a bit.

But back to Elena. Ben (knowing he is in a relationship with Julie, who he very clearly wants to stay on good terms with) treats Elena like he would an old friend who he used to be close with. He never confirms any romantic feelings he might have for her, this is literally all just suspicion on Kevin’s part. I've heard the argument that Ben never gives the girls he’s paired with credit for what they have achieved or what they might be good at. 

In this episode, upon seeing Elena again and in response to being introduced to all her new technological/scientific achievements, says this to her:

“Incredible! Really incredible!”

Ben acknowledges exactly how smart and capable a woman can be. He values this and that is why he requested they go to her for assistance with the nanochip situation. This is the opposite of sexism. 

However, this is Gwen and Kevin’s conversation after this interaction with Elena: 

Gwen: It’s just too dangerous.

Kevin: I wouldn't go that far. Disappointing, maybe. 

Gwen: Elena and those microchips she’s working on?

Kevin: Oh, them. Yeah. They are dangerous. Definitely. 

Gwen: What were you talking about? 

Kevin: Elena and Ben. 

Gwen: What about them?

Kevin: They’re interested in each other. Anybody can see that, but she’s gonna be a problem.  

Gwen: Oh?

Kevin: Elena’s the type who makes guys think she cares about them. But once they start to care about her, poof! She’s gone. I've seen the type before, lots of times.

Kevin completely stereotypes Elena and generalizes her into just being “one problematic type of woman.” That, to me, sounds a bit sexist. 

Even if Ben did have any romantic feelings for Elena, he still treats her with respect and dignity. He does not objectify her. 

The reason Ben was apprehensive about even coming off as if he had any romantic feelings for Elena was because he wants to stay loyal to Julie. He realizes that is the right thing to do in a committed relationship, especially after all that they have been through recently. He values her. 

Right before “running off again to deal with alien things”, Ben literally stops himself and turns around to prove to Julie that he does not mean to ignore her as if she is less important than everything else going on in his life.

Ben: It feels like I'm always running off somewhere, doesn't it? 

Julie: It's starting to. 

Ben: Can we get together tomorrow night? For sure? 

Julie: I'd like that.

Later, Ben, Gwen, Kevin, and Elena meet up to discuss the nanochip situation, and Ben causally mentions Julie. But unlike Ben, Kevin and Gwen notice Elena’s reaction to this and when they are away from Ben, their conversation goes as follows:

Gwen: Did you see the face Elena made when Ben mentioned Julie? 

Kevin: That's just the way girls are. You gotta take advantage. Play one against the other. 

I realize this is supposed to be comedic, but once again unlike Ben, Kevin comes off as sexist. He believes you should "play" with girls and take "advantage" of their attraction/feelings towards you.

I can't help but wonder if this is the reason Kevin did what he did earlier in the Alien Force episode "In Charms Way." 

First I want to mention that I realize Kevin is upset with the outcome of the “hacking the Omnitrix” stunt that left him this way, but to take it out on Gwen of all people is pretty sexist. She was the only one warning both Ben and Kevin to stop trying to hack the watch because she realized it was dangerous. She is not at fault, and does not deserve Kevin to tell her that she “can’t do much of anything.”

The next thing he is shown doing is literally taking advantage of another girl’s attention. Keep in mind, Kevin responded to Charmcaster's attention before he was ever under her spell. He didn't know it was her, but he still took the chance to “play” with the girls like he mentions in “Revenge of the Swarm.” 

And at the end of that episode, AFTER EVERYTHING, still completely blinded and clueless to the truth, Kevin blames Gwen for him being stuck as a "monster" as if it is her fault, and obligation to fix his mistakes. 

Ben puts him in his place and defends Gwen, recognizing her dedication to Kevin. 

Which one of them do you think came off as "sexist"? 

Back to "Revenge of the Swarm", Ben is shown to be "caught between" Elena and Julie. But even this isn't the right way to put it. He does everything in his power to make sure that no chaos comes out of the situation. 

He wants to keep Julie safe. 

When Ben goes to meet up with Julie at the Burger Shack, he finds one of Elena's nanochips where his girlfriend should be. And just like always, he immediately goes into "protection mode" because what he has always feared has finally happened. Julie might be in danger because of him. 

The way he responds to Elena is no longer the same either. His urgent banging on her door, the way he walks in without even looking at her. 

In fact the first thing he does once she lets him in is look around the lab.

Who do you think he's looking for? 

Julie. 

Once he realizes what Elena's been doing, he doesn't hesitate to make sure his girlfriend is safe, but he also doesn't want to just let Elena be consumed by the power of her own invention either. He wants to help Elena be free from the control of the nanochips.

He see these two women as more than just romantic partners to “take advantage of.” 

Unfortunately, in the end, Elena sacrifices herself for him and he is genuinely emotionally affected by her alleged "suicide." Especially since there was very little he could do about it. 

"There was enough of my friend left to save my life. Goodbye, Elena."

It does not make sense for Ben to purposefully be sexist because sexism involves belittling somebody. If there is anyone who knows what it’s like to constantly be told that he isn’t good enough, it’s Ben. 

A young kid, wielding all this power and responsibility? And doing it successfully and with good intentions? 

He knows exactly what that is like.

He wouldn't purposefully do it to someone else. 

It goes against everything he stands for. 

#plz go rewatch the episodes b4 making stupid claims lmao #ben tennyson #ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #elena validus #julie yamamoto #kevin levin #gwen tennyson #essay files

[garethito]

You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match. 

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go. 

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN. 

A

G

A

I

N

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

#asks #Anonymous #gareth bale #real madrid

[thesalvationofdoriangray]

True Self

I've realized for the longest of time, I've portrayed an image that's not really me. It is utterly exhausting and it gives me social anxiety. A defense mechanism in projecting what I think I should be rather than what I truly am. Especially in social settings. I could give a dozen of reasons why I do this. Could it be that I had to hide who I was from my parents or I would be shamed? Was it the bad people in the drug world? I was constantly living in paranoia and fear. Was it because for all those years I used, I was running away from myself? Is it because I'm scared of people knowing how damaged I truly am and once I am no longer able to main this facade, my whole world comes crashing down and I disappear? I don't think it even matters. People don't give a shit and it dosen't help me much analyzing. Whatever happened, I learned how to pretend for years and after being dissociated from myself for that long I begin to wonder who I really am. Now that I am sober I am forced to face years and years of emotion. It wasn't recently that I finally was able to look in the mirror and accept things for what they truly are. I was pretty happy with my progress when I worked for Amazon. I always compared myself because that's what I was taught. I was in that life for 12 years. I overdosed twice, been robbed 4 times, SWAT team came to my house, and went psychotic in and out of hospitals. I did 20 months in rehab, accepted God, and climbed my way from delivery to dispatch and made a great salary. Now that I look back I see I have potential and I'm damn proud of what I accomplished even though I still failed. I went through the valley of the shadow of the death to get there and I'm done comparing myself. Everyone has a different destiny. If pre-election is true then I must ask myself, why did God choose me? He must see something valuable in me. The awful truth is I am now behind but the truth will set me free. This is not the life I envisioned as a kid when the world was at my fingertips. Even if an amazing woman came along, I would not share this with her. She deserves better and so do I. I've seen some of my friends just settle with whomever but I refuse to use any girl. I'll never forget how my ex made me feel when she disposed me like an object when I was 26.

I must digilently grind for the next few years to become the man God wants me to be. I accept things for what they are now and it's time to heal my true self. This doesn't mean getting buff, dressing nice, looking organized, being charming, sounding smart, showing talent, acting overly religious, being funny or the center of attention and etc. These are superficial and skin deep. I'm talking about open heart surgery on the damaged soul.

First I'll start off by loving myself as a human being, not human doing. The world evaluates one's worth by what they've achieved but that's not how God sees me. I for one genuinely love all people. I don't care what color, social status, religion, or male/female. I want to connect with everyone on a deeper level. I literally feel like it's my job to uplift people because I myself have suffered so much. I am caring, encouraging, sacrificing, empathetic, passionate, charismatic, comedic, creative, adventurous, loyal, and naturally a positive person. I have some leadership skills. I am athletic. I am expressive. I am a writer. I am poetic. I am philosophical and have spiritual insight. I have some musical talent. I can be very interpersonal and build quick connections. I am definitely romantic but only the girls can vouch for this one 😀.

Next is the human doing part. We are the only creatures on earth that need purpose. The soul cannot be fulfilled without one. It is important to have purpose on many levels. Obviously for a Christian it's to advance the kingdom but one must contribute to society as well. I can't be doing labor work for the rest of my life and I refuse to sit in front of a computer screen. There's only one ultimatum left. Nursing! I'm going back to school. For years and years I've ran from my dream of becoming a nurse. I was in block 2 of the RN program and quit not because of grades but my addiction. Nursing is perfect for me and utilizes all of my good character traits. It is also the perfect hybrid between working on your feet, using your mind, and human interaction. It is also damn interesting to me. Human pathophysiology, microbiology, and human anatomy and physiology were some of the most interesting classes I've ever taken. If I become a nurse, I can specialize later on as an addiction nurse. I can then use my addiction experiences to help others.

My Father in Heaven,

Why did you choose me before I was born with my whole life written inside a book? Why is it that in my depression, I beg for death and it never happens? What kind of plan do you have for me? I'm tired of self hating. Satan has convinced me for too long that I am a piece of shit but those are all lies. Life is short and wonderful. Time is so precious. I'm sick of this paralyzing depression where I can spend up to a week in bed in the dark.

Lord, what is it that you cannot do? Countless times in history we see your sovereignty at work. We see miracles. We see your love, mercy, and grace. I'm not asking you to take away this pain because this is what's going to mold me into the person I'm meant to be. I'm asking for wisdom, insight, and direction. I'm asking for strength and energy to stay focused. I'm asking for healing of my mind, body, and soul.

In the precious name of Christ, Amen