#If anyone's curious the reason i differentiate between bi and pan is not for any personal preference

[steph-is-asleep]

Nobody Asked but Here's My Gender + Sexuality Headcanons for Everyone

June: Transwoman - She/Her - I'm honestly stuck between making her a lesbian or making her bisexual, I'm so torn. The only dudes I really ship her with is maybe Dave? and even then, I'm not crazy about the ship. I don't really have someone I fix her with consistently! If she is bi, she has a preference towards women for sure

Rose: Cis woman - She/Her - Lesbian, I don't need to elaborate

Dave: Transmasc, but not necessarily a transman? IYKYK - He/him - Definitely bisexual, with a slight preference towards men

Jade: Nonbinary, I'm not gonna fuss with microlabels too much, it's not my thing, but somewhere in the feminine/enby side of things! - They/She - Pan, but shes very picky with her men. They have to impress her!

Aradia: Cis woman, but VERY gnc about it, again, IYKYK - she/her - bisexual with a preference towards men

Tavros: Cis man, soft about it though - He/They - Pansexual

Sollux: Transman - He/him - The platonic ideal of bisexual. I think if he's not dating someone, he has one guy crush and one girl crush at any given time.

Karkat: Cis man - He/him - Gay, with a lot of comphet

Nepeta: So nonbinary /pos - She/They/Kitty/Kittyself - Pansexual

Kanaya: Transfemme NB - She/They - Lesbian

Terezi: Transmasc + Nonbinary - They/Them - Lesbian

Vriska: Transfemme - She/Her - Lesbian

Equius: Cis man - He/him - Bisexual, preference to women

Gamzee: Nonbinary but he doesn't know it - he/they - Gay

Eridan: transfemme in a nonbinary way, most likely genderfluid - He tells people his pronouns are he/him, but they're actually he/she - bisexual with a men preference

Feferi: Nonbinary with a femme twist - They/She - Pansexual

#If anyone's curious the reason i differentiate between bi and pan is not for any personal preference #it is purely based on what i think the character would call themselves #what i think their relationship to gender and sexuality would be #Also if youre unaware #IYKYK means 'if you know you know' #i dont want anyone to feel confused :"3 #homestuck #headcanons #no other tags we die like men #and im not tagging all those character idc #if you see it you see it

[enbypanposi]

hey genuine question but whats the difference between bi and pan? so sorry if this sounds rude but im just curious

Alright so im gonna use this ask to soapbox a little. Your question is not bad and is in fact a common one so no shame but I just have some Thoughts on this.

Hot take, but: There is no functional difference that matters among any mspec identity. Hear me out:

I see loads of posts trying to find a difference, and they ultimately become very granular and honestly thats not how orientation usually works. Its an instinct and and impulse and we dont control it. There a whole lot of “bi means 2 or more and pan means all with no preference and omni means all with preference” and etc for every mspec identity but thats not accurate. Pan people have preferences, omni people might not, and there are definite flaws with the ‘two or more’ definition of bi that bi blogs have pointed out better than I ever could. When we get more and more specific with identity that way we exclude people who dont fit the definition because we make it retroactively narrower. “Pan means x and y but not z” leads to “therefore all mspec people who are x and y must be pan no matter what label they use” and “therefore pan people who are z must use a different label.” Thats not right. Labels arent just words whose definitions we fit, their words we CHOOSE to describe us. Definitions dont pick peoples labels, people pick peoples labels. So I think when we ask this ‘whats the difference’ question we mean well but ultimately reinforce gatekeeping identity. ‘Whats the difference’ is kind of meaningless because sexuality is individual and everyone has different experiences with it and how they define themself, which may not be exactly 10000% in line with their chosen label. A bi and pan person may both describe their sexuality the same way, but that doesnt mean that they ARE the same, and plenty other bi and pan people will describe it in different ways. Sexuality isnt rigidly defined and in fact cant be. It may make it easier to think about when we invent these rigid definitions but ultimately thats not a good thing and will just make people more confused about themselves. Not everyone is able to parse out and differentiate x and y and z in their sexuality. Plenty of people dont want to. They shouldnt be barred from these labels and these labels shouldnt be made to bar people.

Now, that doesnt mean they should all be collapsed into one label, it means that this ‘whats the difference’ question is irrelevant and ultimately made to create restrictions. These restriction shouldnt exist. Labels are and should remain flexible terms we choose to apply to ourself. They should not be forced on us because we fit that definition ‘better’ than another, thats just weaponizing definitions. And honestly? I do see people do this quite a bit and its not right. Bi people will say they use that label because theyre capable of being attracted to anyone and people will tell them they should be using pan instead then. Thats not right. This happens not just to bi people but to all mspec people, and I want to make it extra clear that thats the exact kind of nonsense that happens when we insist that these things are rigid and inflexible and that the only reason we use labels is because we fit the definitions. Not true. Personal choice and attachment plays a huge role, and no one can or should force another to adopt a certain term. So, the idea that they have to be monumentally, quantifiably different and distinct only really plays into this idea. Are there distinctions? Yes. Are there reasons a person might choose one over the other? Yes. But BOTH of those things are ultimately person to person, not innate truths of the words themselves. The words are just loose ways to be mspec, and individual people will be mspec in their own way which is as varied as people can be, ie: infinite.

Again I dont think this means that its all one label or should be collapsed into one. I think no matter how you try to do that youre going to be elevating one mspec identity while insisting the others are inferior to it. The Bi+ Umbrella is just one example--no shade to people or organizations who choose to use it. I understand how its important from a legal standpoint to say ‘all mspec people fall under the B in LGBT+’ because otherwise there are no protections for us mspec folk who are not bi--I think it gets a bad rep from folks who dont get this and I think theres definitely BETTER ways to do it, but, sure, it exists for a reason which deserves to be acknowledged. What it does, however inadvertently, is imply that Bi is the pinnacle of being mspec and all the umbrella identities are less. Youll see a lot that Bi is a macro identity and that Pan, Ply, Omni are each microlabels because ‘they all fit the definition of bi’ but in truth each fits the definition of each other anyway. You could easily say that Omni is a macro identity and Bi Pan and Ply are microlabels because they each fit the definition of omni and youd be right. Its not a useful way to describe labels no matter which way you slice it. Theyre equals and the distinctions are as varied as the people who use them. Its one grand community of mspec people all using the same words in different ways and that should be celebrated! When we focus in on differences we just separate from each other and exclude and nitpick the words we use for ourselves and each other. It prevents us from forming solidarity as people who all face the same oppression and the same joy.

TLDR?: Theres not really any kind of distinction that matters since sexuality is different to different people. Its better to leave labels vague and flexible because thats how theyre used and doing the opposite reinforces gatekeeping and other negative ways to view being mspec. The differences arent identity based theyre person based and rooted in experience and not the literal definitions of words. Forming solidarity is much more important than picking out the minor ways we are different.

#modtalks #notposi #ask #asks #mspec #mspec solidarity #some of yall are bout to be real mad at me but it must be said #idk i realize not everyone agrees with this but i think it just proves my point #bc thats individual as is each persons definition of being mspec #so yeah thats my take #im putting my banner cause i hve a weird feeling this is gonna get reblogs hmmmm #might not tho well see #i hope this helps but probably it doesnt #Anonymous #mod egg