I decided to revisit my nails. It's been a year and a bunch of base game updates since they were made. And they needed a spreadsheet.
To be honest, I don't like their previews anymore and genuinely want to delete all 7 nails lol But I convinced myself I'll keep the aesthetics the way they are until I come up with something better. Or maybe I won't and will nuke them in the end. Anyways.
Tidied up the tags. They match freshly cloned base game nails (masculine fashion choice is an exception). My nails were missing outfit types, although I'm pretty sure I didn't remove them myself. Confused but fixed.
Added color tags. I wasn't adding them for CAS items before because they are subjective as hell. I relied on RGB values while assigning the most questionable ones, so I guess this is the best I can do for those who do use color tags. But even with them, CAS interface itself is going to show only the first swatch of the color…
Cleaned up meshes of square nails. It seems I forgot to split sharp edges, and it was causing unnecessary smoothing and shadows. Not anymore!
Made proper UV_1. It was working fine, but it wasn't as merged as EA's UV_1 is, so I dedicated some time to make it match.
Reduced all LODs' density from 70% and 40% to 66% and 33%.
Redownload here. Won't affect your sims wearing any of them.
Chrome
Acrylic
Gel
Metallic
Coffin
Almond
Magnetic
There's also a poll on Patreon where you can vote for the nails you like the most just for fun.
76 notes
·
View notes
So... I've already given up on getting those new limited myth cards.
9 notes
·
View notes
having to make myself just pull back a second and go for "simplest explanation that fits all the facts and isn't accidentally inferring beyond the facts we do have".
16 notes
·
View notes
Me, writing in silence: Not! Enough! Stimulation!
Me, writing with music or a movie in the background: *gets distracted and doesn't write*
9 notes
·
View notes
I was reading yesterday about xiangqi and there was a mention about how the general is rather useless and even affects negatively your game at first, but ends up having a key role in setting up winning strategies towards the final stages, and it reminded me so much of Jing Yuan's role in the Xianzhou arc
2 notes
·
View notes
Yesterday I picked up Bloodborne for the first time in like at least a month, and had THE most spectacular finale against Ludwig, holy moly
Went into the second half of the fight with one single weapon buff item (fire paper) and one (1) blood vial, and ya girl STILL managed to get a photo-perfect Visceral finish on him despite having no items left to help me out
I forgot how addicting that rush is when you get an insanely satisfying victory over a stubborn boss! I missed this game so much dfhghjdf
9 notes
·
View notes
the good thing about a fic premise where you dump an oc that knows a piece of media into that piece of media, and then declare that the original media was written by somebody in that fictional universe, is that any discrepancies between the worldbuilding or timeline of the fic and the original media can come down to "the original author wrote it down wrong (maybe on purpose)" and not "the fic author just has no fucking clue what's going on in canon"
2 notes
·
View notes
this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.
don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.
in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.
again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.
and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)
i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.
3K notes
·
View notes
FUCK I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A FILE I WANTED TO KEEP. AGAIN.
0 notes
Chapter 5 - Part Two Release
Hello everyone... it's here. It's finally here! Chapter 5, pt. 2 is now out, and is 250k words of new content, meaning The Exile is now over 1 million words!
This release was... rough, to say the least, but it's all in the rear-view mirror now, thankfully. As some of you may know, this is the final chapter of the public demo. I'll make a post later on detailing what the future development of The Exile will be, but for now I just want to take in a deep breath and relax (as I fix what inevitable bugs pop up with release, that is).
Avg. Play length: 114k -> 135k
Total Wordcount: 818k -> 1 mil
Some Notes:
You have to replay the entire game. Your old saves won't work. Please, for the love of the gods, do not use them. I know it's tedious to replay the entire demo sometimes, but the new release will not work properly otherwise.
I HIGHLY recommend saving at the beginning of when Esmerelda goes to visit Marcelle, or where the old demo ended. This is because when I do bug fixes (and I will have to do bug fixes), all saves that were on the file I updated cease to work properly. Saving at the scene with Esmerelda is the closest to the new content that you can save w/o having to worry about losing your save progress frequently near release. (Though I will update Chapter 5, pt. 1 at some point)
DO NOT spread info you got by code diving. Please and thank you! :)
Preferably send bugs + typos to the Discord. Otherwise, feel free to send them here! Also, keep an eye out for broken symbols next to choices! (It would help if you tell me what chapter it's in as well :))
There are two versions of The Exile on Dashingdon. The right one has [Current] next to it. The reason there are two is b/c for some reason or another, I couldn't get into my old account, and I couldn't reset the password, and it was just... a whole mess. So I couldn't delete the old demo when I uploaded the new one on my new account. Just keep this in mind if you're trying to look The Exile up right into a search engine as opposed to going through links on the Tumblr or Forum!
Play Chapter 5, Pt. 2!
1K notes
·
View notes
lovelorn and nobody knows ★
pairing: jude bellingham x mclaren driver!reader [face claim: amna al qubaisi]
in which: jude wants to be the most supportive boyfriend, even if it means ruining your soft launch
note: for plot reasons, let's pretend mp motorsports is mclaren. hope my f1 reader! enthusiasts like this one 🩷
now playing slut! by taylor swift...
judebellingham
liked by madders, yn.isracing and 1,369,097 others
judebellingham yeehaw 🤠
view all comments
yn.isracing whore. [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
yn.isracing save a horse ride a uhhhh [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
camavinga texas boy with a british accent, i've truly seen it all 💀
yn.isracing
liked by judebellingham, olliebearman and 476,916 others
yn.isracing in my cowgirl era
view all comments
user91 NOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A BOYFRIEND IT'S SO OVER 😭😭
your.bsf whatever he's doing i can do better i swear
yn.isracing i can name a couple things idk
your.bsf i don't think i wanna know...
yn.isracing
liked by mclaren, louisvuitton and 1,182,764 others
yn.isracing city of love <3
view all comments
your.bsf that should be me 💔💔💔
judebellingham 😝😝😝 [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham croissant bag
yn.isracing yummy!
judebellingham j'aime les pieds 😍 [i like feet]
judebellingham my french professors told me it means pretty girl in french btw 🤭
camavinga 🤣🤣🤣
aurelientchm 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
jobebellingham who are u holding 🤨
yn.isracing some stray dog i found
jobebellingham so nice of you 🥰
judebellingham FUCK OFF ??? [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham STOP SILENCING ME [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham
liked by centralcee, jobebellingham and 1,620,261 others
judebellingham some wannabe z lister (not me but you know)
view all comments
📌 judebellingham she's responsible for this caption btw
user22 jude soft launching his gf + her turning him into a swiftie was NOT on my 2023 bingo
user16 thank u for the roses bae xx
user77 me when i'm deluded
yn.isracing
liked by marcusarmstrong, f1 and 1,610,618 others
yn.isracing i'll be home for quismois 🎅
view all comments
your.bsf finally i get my girl back damn
yn.isracing i never left u 🤸🏻♀️
your.bsf you did, for a m*n 😁
user44 i just wanna see my baby standing right outside my door 😫😫
jude5updates
liked by 99,729 users
jude5updates jude was seen at winter wonderland with friends yesterday during christmas break
view all comments
user62 he was so sweet !! and the girl he was with was super pretty 👩🏻🦯
user11 that was me
user90 the dots are connecting...
user07 girl bffr, they could be just friends 🙄
user19 that's a lot of coincidences miss yn.isracing 🤨🤨
yn.isracing
liked by judebellingham, landonorris and 2,925,727 others
yn.isracing bitch don't tell me that you model if you ain't been in harper's bazaar or sum like that
view all comments
landonorris 😍😍
judebellingham back off shorty [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham whoa
judebellingham drive me around pls
judebellingham doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
yn.isracing bitch wtf
judebellingham
why do u keep deleting my comments :(
i just wanna love on my girl 😓
yn.isracing
because u lost your whole mind
you truly have no shame 💀
judebellingham
but you keep deleting my funny comments
ppl are gonna think i have no game
yn.isracing
well...
they wouldn't be wrong !
judebellingham
you know damn well...
how did i bag u then ?? uh !!?!;!?#;#(
yn.isracing
charity work from my end xx
judebellingham
i hate you
yn.isracing
no you don't
judebellingham
no i don't
i feel like i'm being reasonable tbh
i could bark in your comments
do you want me to bark in your comments ?
yn.isracing
NO ?????
maybe i do idk
judebellingham
furry 😧
but seriously tho
i don't like being a secret
i just wanna show off my gf idk
yn.isracing
:(
we agreed to keep it on the low for now
judebellingham
but i'm starting to regret it
it's so hard not to insult your teammate ❤️
yn.isracing
HE'S JUST BEING NICE
judebellingham
nooo he can fuck off
only i get to be nice to you
others have to bully you
i want to renegotiate our contract
yn.isracing
girl what contract are u talking abt
judebellingham
we don't have to post everything abt us
i just wanna show my appreciation properly
but still stay private
everyone knows anyways
pleaseeee 🥺🥺🥺
yn.isracing
wtf delete
the emojis i'm 🤢
i guess... maybe...
judebellingham
?????
yn.isracing
we can compromise...
judebellingham
liked by yn.isracing, benchilwell and 2,619,015 others
judebellingham passenger princess (me)
view all comments
📌 judebellingham she forced me to use this caption
jobebellingham stop lying now
yn.isracing oh i love you so very much
yn.isracing MY PERFECT BOYFRIEND WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRIVER'S LICENSE
yungfilly pretty girlfriend + personal driver is CRAZY
yn.isracing he's not paying me for the extra hours 😪
judebellingham i'm paying you in kisses, jokes and other tomfooleries 🙄
yn.isracing
liked by judebellingham, mclaren and 2,081,620 others
yn.isracing that's a wrap for my rookie year in f1 + first win woooo. thank you of the support, see you next year 🤪
view all comments
mclaren here's to many more years and wins together ;)
judebellingham so so so so proud of you
judebellingham you're so good at everything it's so sexy of you whoa
jobebellingham have some shame
gioreyna down bad
judebellingham noooo she stole my phone wtf hahaha i never commented that lol
1K notes
·
View notes
PLS PLS CAN YOU DO THAT CHAT THING WITH KAISER, NESS, SAE AND NAGI WHERE READER TEXTS THEM SAYING “your face is so pretty I just wanna sit on it” AND THEIR REACTIONS😍😍
author note: Idk how to use fake sms app so I went for an ol' classic gif reaction.
Michael Kaiser:
-What is he looking at? At his reflex on the mirror obviously.
-A laughter starts to blossom from his chest, already pushed out like a proud rooster.
-He slicks his hair back, blue eyes shining with joy. Michael licks his teeth, perfect as he is. Damn, anybody would like to sit on his face; he is so fucking handsome.
-He picks his phone up ready to message you something along the lines of "C'mere. I'll give you the ride of your life." Michael smirks, proud of coming up with such a hot line(it isn't).
-But the message you sent got deleted.
-His eyes bulge out almost cartoon style. Did he dream about it? Was the message from someone else? Michael checks the other chats, but nobody messaged him.
-He doesn't want to message you about that, he isn't desperate! But a voice in the back of Michael's mind screams at him.
-"?" He sends back. "Did you need something?"
"No, Michael. Thanks for worrying." You reply immediately.
-His heart picks a worryingly fast beat. You replied way too fast. A lightbulb turn on in his head, but the idea he comes up with is pretty risky. Michael feels blood running to his ears when he finally presses send.
-"If you are free wanna come over? I need help choosing the new bed covers."
Alexis Ness:
-He is mind-numbing happy. After all, it is a pretty nice compliment to read from his crush.
-If Alexis had a tail it would be wagging left and right now. A dumb smile is plastered on his face while he keeps looking at his phone.
-"What are you looking at, Ness?" It's Michael's voice calling him back to work, mildly annoyed that the other boy's attention wasn't fully on him.
"Oh- It's nothing, Kaiser! Let's go back to training." Alexis hides his cell phone under the last layer of his gym bag. Michael doesn't dig further for once.
-When Alexis opens his phone back the sun already left his place for the moon. He obviously forgot about your message 'till he reads the new ones.
"Have I crossed any boundary, Alexis? I'm sorry if it happened."
"Please I don't want our friendship to be ruined by this."
His heart sunk to his ass and climbed back into his throat in a matter of seconds.
-Alexis calls you, clearly worried. You pick up fast for Alexis' heart health.
"I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner! I had practice and I had to go then-" he keeps blabbering "I'll do anything for your forgiveness."
"…Anything Alexis?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't joking when I sent you that message…my or your place?"
"Yours. It will be my pleasure." He says, voice finally calm.
-He wasn't joking.
Sae Itoshi:
-"I must have forgotten the part where I asked your opinion."
-HE IS RUDE.
-Sae knows it is a joke. A stupid one to try to tease him. He may not be the brightest mind, but he understands what you are trying to do.
-He goes back to training like nothing happened. Then he showers and all of sudden Sae has the urge to add another line to the previous message he sent.
-Meanwhile, you replied with a ton of sad emojis and other dumb blabbering Sae's mind doesn't even register.
-"Anyway I prefer to eat it from the back."
Sae smiles thinking he has just sent the king of the comebacks, an earth-shattering line. Soon he gets a reply, that makes his smile drop.
"I must have forgotten the part where I asked about your opinion."
-Maybe you are really made for each other.
Seishiro Nagi:
-What a nice message to receive. Not.
-You are hundreds of kilometres of distance what is supposed to happen? Honestly thinking is tiring him out.
-Seishiri sends you the thumb-up emoji and throws his phone somewhere on his bed, pc already turned on to play the newest game.
-But now a worm dug a hole in his head, making Seishiro thinks about the message and not at his ranking flopping; such a noob behavior.
-He thinks about your soft thighs pressing his ears, your warmth enveloping his face…
-Seishiro facepalms, fingers messaging his temples before brushing away some of his snow white hair strands away from his forehead.
-He doesn't even notice he already dialed your number.
-"Talk dirty."
"What? Muddy pants? Sweaty shirts?"
"Don't play dumb. It's all your fault if I can't concentrate now. And don't let me explain, it's bothersome."
You chuckle at the other end. He can feel the mirth in your voice.
"Sorry angel. You'll have to work if you want the prize."
-He groans in annoyance, head thrown back.
-It seems like Seishiro will have to break his "5 days doing nothing useful" streak.
441 notes
·
View notes
Eavesdropper (ln4)
This was written as a sequel to Silly Season but can be read as a standalone!
warnings: sexist comments, everyone being chaotic, lando being an idiot. Pls grab a big handful of suspension of disbelief 🍿
Tagged: yourcoach, yourfriend, georgerussell63, alex_albon
Liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 901,371 others
yourusername: My week off between races
yourfriend: I need a pay rise if we're going to keep getting 4am flights
↳ yourusername: you said you wanted to travel the world!
williamsracing: Drivers get together and we weren't invited?
↳ yourusername: It was a union meeting, no management xx
↳ alex_albon: williamsracing that was a joke. We love the team especially you, admin.
ynstylefiles: When are we getting a Y/n skin care routine? Come on vogue...
Tagged: carlossainz55, yourusername, maxverstappen1
Liked by wtf1official, charles_leclerc and 948,294 others
landonorris: Silly season is here
mclaren: Carlando 4 eva ❤️
↳ williamsracing: counterpoint... ynando supremacy.
yourusername: terrible pic pls delete xx
↳ landonorris: no xx
f1driversdaily: random Max pic is sending me 😂
Liked by daniel3.jpg, maxfewtrell and 642,284 others
lando.jpg: Little bit of everything
alex_albon: Nice buildings mate
↳ lando.jpg: Thanks mate
yourusername: So aesthetically pleasing
daniel3.jpg: Lovely use of lighting.
↳ lando.jpg: Have to teach you sometime 👍
softboynorris: We're all just collectively ignoring the last slide? Cool.
↳ laaaando: Not me, I'm about to head to the train tracks.
↳ carlando4eva: I'll join
Liked by yukitsunoda0511, charles_leclerc and 729,407 others
pierregasly: Night out with the family
charles_leclerc: I missed karaoke?
↳ pierregasly: we didn't sing our song don't worry mate
danielricciardo: Gasly in his jpg era
f1driversdaily: uh Lando and Y/n?
ynsource: Lando and Y/n look very close
ynlovebot: LANDO AND Y/N CONFIRMED
francisca.cgomes: yourusername 👀
↳ pierregasly: 😭
↳ yourusername: francisca.cgomes ❤️
↳ pierregasly: yourusername 😇
↳ yourusername: pierregasly 🙄
Liked by alex_albon, williamsracing and 1,389,503 others
yourusername: Day in the life of a wannabe grid girl xx
landonorris: first pic got me 🥵🥵🥵
↳ landonorris: side note - seeing that YOU look bad in your race suit suddenly makes me feel a lot better about myself.
↳ yourusername: was that a neg, Norris?
↳ landonorris: I'm just saying that everyone looks bad in their race suit and you look good in everything
↳ yourusername: obvs I don't look good in everything...
↳ oscarpiastri: landonorris I see you typing and I'm begging you to stop
lilymhe: Confirmed girl boss
↳ yourusername: says you 😍
lissiemackintosh: She is the moment.
Liked by yourusername
carmentmmundt: And that's what I call Woman 💪
Liked by yourusername
ynstylefiles: but the purple... I need more!
Liked by lissiemackintosh, carlossainz55 and 4,592,193 others
f1: A statement from the FIA.
mclaren: Our fave couple 🧡💙
williamsracing: Come for the racing, stay for the romance 💙🧡
ynsource: Seeing williams and mclaren scrambling to come up with comments that make it look like they're completely fine their two best drivers are dating each other is hilarious
ynlovebot: Ok, but like I need a relationship timeline
↳ laaaando: babe, no. I need a 4 hour long youtube analysis of their relationship
↳ softboynorris: what are you even talking about I need a true crime style podcast series
carlando4eva: They're literally textbook friends to lovers
↳ f1newbie: wdym
↳ carlando4eva: They grew up karting together and now they're dating
yourusername and landonorris
Liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton and 6,580,201 others
yourusername: In the words of the FIA, we'd like to formally announce our (intimate) relationship ❤️
landonorris: Can we be the first joint world champions???
↳ yourusername: like how Katniss and Peeta won the hunger games?
↳ landonorris: exactly
↳ yourusername: nah I'm good winning by myself thanks baby
↳ landonorris: 🥺
alex_albon: How many captions did you go through?
↳ yourusername: At least 30.
↳ landonorris: alex_albon all of mine got vetoed 😒
carlossainz55: Congratulations! (also finally)
Liked by yourusername and landonorris
danielricciardo: Love that the FIA hard launched before you guys did 😂
↳ yourusername: yeah I'm not thrilled about that
↳ yourusername: also who taught you the term hard launch?
↳ heidiberger_: yourusername that'd be me. Congrats babe ❤️
pierregasly: You are welcome ❤️
↳ yourusername: francisca.cgomes I will push him into the ocean you know I'll do it
charles_leclerc: Happy for you two !
Liked by yourusername and landonorris
georgerussell63: Out of everyone we grew up karting with I really thought it'd be Charles and Pierre who ended up together. Not dating, just platonic soulmates.
↳ yourusername: Me too.
↳ alex_albon: Me three.
↳ pierregasly: Me four.
↳ charles_leclerc: quoi ?
read more of my writing here.
Made to order for a sweet anon for my perfume collection xx
゚。 ⋆ mags' radio: Ok guys I am obsessed with driver!reader x lando... they're kind of just as chaotic as horner!reader x lando, but I think they're a little more lowkey with their chaos and prefer to keep it professional in public, horner!reader is pure idgaf.⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。
taglist: @fulla02reads @lazybot @flowerchild-96 @camillalarke @cool-ultra-nerd @azxulaa @hrlzy @ghosttwit @inejghafawife @booksobsess @formulakay @1655-1485 @chonkybonky @peachiicherries @toalltheboyswhowastedmytime @lilacsimps @diaa-20 @imsorare @lunnnix @ctrlyomomma @leclercdream @aces-tattooartist
(if you're not highlighted I couldn't tag you. If you'd like to be removed from the tag list please send me a message.)
1K notes
·
View notes
girl at home | mat barzal | part 1
pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader
summary: you're eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.
warnings: mentions of pregnancy & not really edited
word count: 1.3k
authors note p1: don't mind me starting a new series when i have four other wips on the go :):) i love kid fics and this idea was stuck in my head so i wrote & decided to give it a go and post it. if this does well and you guys are interested, i'll do more.
authors note p2: so notes about the series: i gave the readers daughter a name because i hate writing y/d/n lol of course you can change it in your head to something else if you want :) also the last name johnson is just there so i could have a full name but we all know she'll be a barzal also thank u @multifandombabes for giving me the push to post this!!
happy reading & let me know what you guys think!
masterpost
In hindsight, you should have realized that it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. You did your best to avoid places you knew he would be when he was home, going to visit your grandparents or other family. Anywhere that would give you the opportunity to not be seen by him, because then you’d have to explain your brown haired, green eyed, seven year old.
You weren’t proud of your choice to keep Nora a secret from Mat but you did what you thought was right when you were eighteen, sitting on the floor of your best friend’s bathroom four weeks after you had said goodbye to Mat and staring at three positive pregnancy tests. He had just left for hockey and you didn’t want to be what held him back and as time went on, it got harder to pick up the phone so a few months after Nora was born, you erased Mathew Barzal from your life. You deleted the photos, phone numbers, social media, with the only reminder being the little girl.
And it worked fine. Until now.
Nora usually didn’t come grocery shopping with you because you always ended up taking three times as long as you normally would. Except, your sitter fell through and your mom couldn’t watch her so you had to bring her along. Which is totally fine until you run into Mat. Who has a girl with him.
So yeah, everything was fine until now.
It’s kind of comical the way his panicked eyes dart between the three of the girls standing around him. A quick glance at Nora confirms that she’s two seconds away from saying something to Mat which will not go well since the kid has zero filter.
“Hey, you’re that hockey player mama and grandma watch on TV!” she exclaims and you want to melt straight through the floor when Mat looks at you with one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah?” he asks, kneeling down so he’s at her level.
“Yeah,” she confirms, and then loudly whispers: “I’m not supposed to watch ‘cause some games are past my bedtime but sometimes I’ll sneak out.”
He offers his hand and smiles. “Well, it’s nice to meet you…” he trails off, clearly hoping she’ll offer her name. You hope she just says her first name instead of announcing her full name which she tends to do lately.
“Nora,” she tells him, shaking his hand and then to your unsurprised horror, she proudly tells him her full name. “Nora Nadia Johnson.”
He keeps the smile on his face but stiffens and gently drops her hand.
“Cool name,” he says, still smiling but you can see the tension in his shoulders.
“Thanks! My first name means light and my middle name-”
She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because you grab her hand, abandon your shopping cart and high tail it out of the store. She grumbles while trying to keep up with your pace and eventually you just pick her up and carry her to the car.
“What did we say about talking to strangers?” you ask while buckling her seatbelt, ignoring her annoyed sighs.
“He wasn’t a stranger, you watch him on the TV all the time.”
“Have you ever met him?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and she mumbles something under her breath.
“What was that?”
“No,” she mumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and giving you a look that is so Mathew that you could laugh.
“Well then, he’s a stranger.”
You leave it at that because she starts talking about the summer camp she’s starting next week. You’re only half listening, trying to get over the shock of seeing Mat and knowing he realizes that he probably has a kid you never told him about. If you were in his shoes, you would be angry so you are expecting him to show up on your doorstep later that evening but he doesn’t. Part of you wonders if the reason he doesn’t come is because of that girl he had with him but you figure if he really wanted answers, he would come regardless.
What you’re not expecting, is a text from his sister Liana. You still see his family from time to time out in public but after you essentially ghosted Mat, they didn’t really want anything to do with you. When everybody found out you were pregnant, you lied and said it wasn’t Mat’s which nobody really believed but they couldn’t prove it and you’d used your mothers maiden name as Nora’s last name so there were no ties. You were surprised that his family didn’t tell him anyways, but you thought that perhaps they didn’t for the same reason you didn’t.
To give Mat no reason to stay here and instead, pursue his dreams and go play in the NHL.
So a text from his sister is unexpected.
Liana: hey, are you free for lunch tmw?
You almost delete it at first and pretend she never messaged you, but you know that there’s no going back now that Mat saw Nora. He’s not stupid. He probably went home and asked his parents about her. So you text her back a reluctant yes and agree on a spot to meet up the next day.
Nora goes to your moms house because you’re unsure if it will just be Liana who shows up, or if anyone else does. You meet up at a Starbucks and aside from the initial tension, it melts almost immediately and the two of you go back to the big sister/little sister relationship you had when you and Mat were dating. Except now, she’s all grown up.
After some catching up, the conversation turns to the reason she asked to see you. She hesitates, picking at her nails - a nervous tick you know she does - before sighing.
“Look, everybody kind of turned their head with ‘The Nora Situation’ because it was clearly what you wanted, and it was probably what was best for Mat,” she says. “But he knows now, and he’s got questions that we can’t and won’t answer. Dad had to talk him down last night and his girlfriend went back to New York this morning.”
You wince at that, not liking that the reason his girlfriend left is because of Nora but Liana must notice because she shrugs, taking a sip of her drink.
“Honestly, she wasn’t very nice. I’m not broken up over it and Mat didn’t seem to be either.”
Okay, that is interesting.
“Anyway,” she continues, “this is Mat’s new number.” She slides a small piece of paper across the table and you gingerly take it. “I know you didn’t want to tell him, and I understand but he knows. So give him a chance, okay?”
You manage a nod and let her leave with the final word. All you want to do is take Nora and leave, to get as far away as you can but something inside you stops you from doing it because maybe Liana is right, and you should give Mat a choice. After all, you were the one who decided to take it away from him in the beginning.
So later that night, after Nora is asleep, you curl up on your couch with the piece of paper and stare at it for a good fifteen minutes. Regardless of whether or not you text him, you will have to deal with this and you’d rather it be on your terms. You reluctantly type his new number in your phone and hesitate, trying to think of what to even say. This isn’t a conversation you were expecting to have with him. You type and delete a dozen messages before deciding on something simple.
To Mathew: Hey, I guess we should talk.
You take a deep breath, and hit send.
697 notes
·
View notes