#IF UR NOT CIS UR TRANS!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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coolcarabiner · 10 months

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lesbians who are terfs will never make any sense to me crying about the supposed exclusivity of the “female experience” like my brother in christ she experienced an othered, lonely, confusing childhood where she was made to feel inadequate in her gender, sexuality, or both just the same as you and instead of letting this unify you against patriarchy you just enforce it on other people to maintain the sliver of “power” you think you have. how do u not see how dumb this is oh my god

#like trans women are hurt by the patriarchy they don’t benefit from it you fucking coconuts bc even if they were ‘men’ (they’re not)#they’d be men who cannot live up to the standards set by patriarchy!!!! this is feminism 101 yet some people run their mouths like it’s 1912 #like dude. she’s doing gender and sexuality in a way cishet society hates just like u are. please be fucking smart and realize attacking her #only hurts YOU and loses YOU the same bodily autonomy u wanna deny her for the sake of “’saving ur lesbian brethren’ or what the fuck ever #you’re hurting cis women trans women intersex people EVERYONE because you’re so obsessed w feeling special for being perceived as a woman #and then being harmed for it that you can’t even see that the women you hate so much experience the EXACT SAME SHIT. use ur brain!!!!!!#anyways sorry read some takes from some lesbians in LC and got way too heated. god bless u trans dykes i love u trans dykes #idk what to tag this so. ya #posts

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huntingrays · 9 months

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genshin prompt:

after diluc comes out to kaeya as a trans man, kaeya, wishing to be the best ally and brother while also being a menace, proceeds to gaslight everyone into thinking that he’s always had a brother, not a sister.

surprisingly, it actually works on several people.

when diluc found out about it, he told his brother off, but was secretly pleased that by the act, even if it wasn’t the morally best way to be an ally.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin prompts #diluc ragnvindr #diluc #kaeya alberich #kaeya #ragbros #trans diluc #i love transing the gender of charas i like #he’s so gender #normalize gaslighting cis ppl for ur trans friends /j

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ot3 · 8 months

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this flavor of trans guy misogyny where they do rhetorical backflips to explain why them not caring about women is good, actually, and since cis men are also misogynists a lot of the time we should all just stop complaining about it.

#'no one bats an eye when-'#actually yes plenty of women but particularly black women and lesbians have a lot to say about the specific brand of misogyny #that you get from cis gay men. only no one listens to women who talk about misogyny. is the thing. s o.#IM LITERALLY NOT EVEN SAYING PEOPLE NEED TO PUT FEMALE CHARACTERS IN SHIT #IM JUST SAYING IF THEYRE GONNA BE THERE IT SUCKS WHEN THEY'RE ONLY THERE TO BE PLOT MOTIVATORS FOR MEN!!!! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DO!#like if you're a trans guy and you have a complicated relationship to womanhood and don't want to spend a bunch of time #in the headspace of female characters. i get that. i can understand that. i can sympathize.#but if ur response to seeing someone complain about misogyny is 'why should i have to care about female characters' then ur just an asshole #theres a time and a place to talk about the Unique and Woke Way That You Personally Dislike Women and it's not on my fucking posts!!!!

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perfectlyripeclementine · 1 year

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there’s something so sacred about the relationship queer masc folks have to pleasure. i’m thinking folks on that spectrum between masc dyke/transmasc. in my experience because folks have such a nuanced relationship with their own bodies & varying levels of comfort with being touched, there is SO much emphasis on sharing pleasure, on mirroring the pleasure that they give.

it’s this incredible spin on the hetero thing of taking pleasure FROM someone, where pleasure is not a zero-sum game; their pleasure is the same as my pleasure, things that don’t feel good to me don’t feel good to them. it’s like when you put two mirrors in front of one another and they are refracted into infinity: turning me on turns you on, seeing you turned on turns me on, and it just escalates until we’re both shaking and satisfied and exhausted.

i see this so much in how ppl relate to their strap, or how they react when i’m riding and grinding on them - the times i’ve made someone come without touching them or even taken off their clothes, because seeing me and feeling my weight is enough to evoke the physical feeling of being inside me. i swear i saw God the first time i felt someone come inside me through the strap. these experiences have brought me so much closer to my own body and the pleasure i can not only experience but share. it’s so holy, and in the times when someone has wanted me to touch and pleasure them it felt so intimate and precious to be given that trust. no cis man could’ve helped me unlock this.

AND i see all of this mirrored too in the protector/carer dynamic - like i love the feeling of strong arms around me, love the emotion of someone wanting me to be theirs and wanting to keep me safe. and i love the squishy insides, love to be a source of sweetness and healing and regeneration, love to hold someone in my bare palms and be able to say this is for you, this care and pleasure i give you is yours to keep. i love how those things are seen and received rather than taken for granted the way that cis men do.

anyways when i hear people say femme/masc dynamics recreate straightness, or that thing of “well why don’t you just date a REAL man then?” i want to say that’s EXACTLY the point. queer masculinity gives me everything i cherish about men without the violence, the ownership that men are raised & trained for.

#ofc this doesn’t apply to every masc woman or transmasc person #take what resonates leave what doesn’t #this is just a thing i am Into and have met enough ppl this applies to that i think there’s a trend #if ur masc and this doesn’t apply to you that’s cool! that means i’m not taking about u!#this post is queer #nblnb #this turned out LONG #if ur anywhere on the queer masc spectrum u get a kiss & a snuggle #queer masculinity #queer love #queer sex #it’s hard to express this without implying that trans men aren’t Real Men #and that’s not at all what i believe or am trying to communicate #but i do think everyone who’s some kinda Gender Weird has a level of understanding of their own body that cis people rarely reach #ok i’m done #for now #idk if i ID as femme in general #but i def ID as a femme relative to the femme4butch dynamic #except maybe themme4queermasc #this post is about non binary love

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existentialcrisistime · 1 year

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made a silly meme in a burst of sugar-fueled inspiration, and I thought tumblr might appreciate it so here u go

#trans stuff #trans memes #dedicated to my fellow trans mascs who like a little lingerie on occasion #or to anyone who gotta present as buttoned up sometimes when ur ideal look is one the cis Won't Get #also dedicated to my irl pal who dressed as this for a halloween costume and accidentally went viral on twitter #memes #nic stuff

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transonlyspace · 4 months

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yes i do hate cis people thank you for asking

#/hj #transgender #not in an anti cis way #in a “stop fucking murdering us” way #nobody asked #+ i have cis people dni so ur invading trans only spaces #+ ur ableist #+ shut the fuck up

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sister-lucifer · 9 months

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i love when he’s soft and round and chubby and when he’s skinny and i could snap him like a twig and when he’s big and strong and muscley and i love when he has big big boobs and a fat ass and when he’s flat as plywood and i love when he has a boy cunt and when he has a massive dick and i love when he has the fashion taste of a dad on vacation and i love when he dresses like a wealthy victorian heir and i love when he’s all fucked up and when he’s got scars and marks and bruises and when he’s perfectly unblemished and never been injured in his life and i love when he

#crawler thoughts #hey i think i’m insane #i love men #this post is about trans men btw #not that it really affects anything #if ur cis or use he/him pronouns but don’t consider urself a man #also valid #it’s just that i posted this with trans men specifically in mind #trans man #trans masc #queer

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t4transsexual · 18 days

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i think really the reason i have such a strong reaction to people who claim that they "hate men including trans men" is that pretty much all of them still have cis men in their lives. like they have cis male friends or cis male family they still positively associate with and cis male colleagues or theyre dating cis men but they DO NOT associate with trans men, theres not a single transmasc person in their circle or who feels comfortable with them because its obvious that they hold trans men to a higher standard than cis men, and its just like. youre not a misandrist at that point. youre just transphobic. like maybe youre not transmisogynistic and youre "just transmascphobic" but youre still transphobic and the lengths youre willing to go to accommodate the cis men in your life while accusing trans men of transitioning to get privilege over women and being "gender traitors" is disturbing

#also i dont respect the man hating of a woman who dates cis men btw #like if u 'hate all men'#and pull 'gender traitor' terf bullshit to trans men #and then to really drive that point home #you get on your knees to suck a mans dick #like ur not a 'based misandrist femcel' ur a transphobe #trans #transmasc #trans man #transmascphobia

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orcelito · 5 months

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Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.

Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.

I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...

On and on and on

You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.

That kind of thing.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like #into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it #read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT #so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol #so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences #but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general #so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)

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20s-turtle-posting · 1 year

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The One Wherein Raphael is Actually Transfem

1.6k words | companion art >here< | second fic >here<

This is it. This is the moment.

It’s completely random, nonsensical, a moment that is perfectly mundane and yet she can’t keep it in her chest a moment longer, so it’s now or never. Forget the fear and anxiety that immediately set her heart pounding harder than any rooftop run, she has to tell them now or else she doesn’t know what else to do.

She stops in her tracks on the walk back from the pool, her brothers moving past her for several steps, still joking and laughing before they recognize that something’s up. Leo, predictably, is the first to notice and he turns quickly, blue-and-brown eyes alert.

“Raph?”

She balls up her fists for a moment, and it’s not that she hates that name, she still cherishes it because it’s been hers for so long…. But it isn’t her anymore.

“I uh-” Her throat closes up. Shit.

Mikey and Don are looking too, eyes wide and curious. Hell. What are they gonna think? About her? What will Leo think? What will Dad think?

Fuck it. She can’t keep it to herself any longer.

“So uhh, I have to tell ya’ guys somethin’....” Tugging nervously on her mask, looped loosely around her neck, she drops her gaze to the floor to avoid eye contact. Her heart is fuckin’ pounding out of her chest. “I’m not… really a… well, a guy.” She feels like she’s going to puke this sucks ass why can’t it be as easy as beating up a couple of Purple Dragon goons, this is her own family. Why is it making her so nervous?

“Actually I’m a girl and-” she stumbles and it’s out the words are out it’s done. Instant regret threatens to choke her, fear and hope churning like nausea so strong that she sinks back into the easy cover of an explosive outburst of “and-and that’s final! You can suck it up and get used to it!”

The instant she looks up, mid-shout, the anxiety starts to drain because Mikey, fucking bless him, has stars in his eyes already. As soon as her jaw snaps shut Mikey squeals and lunges.

“Holy shit!” he screeches at joyous, ear-splitting volume, throwing his arms around her neck, “free sister!”

A hand lands gently on her shell, and Leo is smiling delightedly when he says “congratulations on coming out! Welcome to the club.” Which is such a fucking Leo thing to say.

Don, for his part, stands there grinning softly and says, “Very cool, El.”

And that’s what really almost starts the waterworks because she should have known they wouldn’t turn her away and shun her. She knew it like she knew the sun rose in the east each morning, the way she knew she was a ninja, through and through, no matter what may come.

She’d brought up her new name briefly, almost in passing, almost three weeks ago when she’d thought Don was decently distracted by his latest project. Her heart had pounded then too, casually mentioning the name as if it were a stray thought occurring, nothing important, nothing of note. She had been wild with anxiety over Don’s reaction, but all he had said was “that’s nice” and kept soldering, so she thought that was as good as she’d get.

But he’d remembered, and that meant the whole fucking world to her.

“El!” Mikey breathes happily, squeezing the life out of her, “oh my GOD that’s so perfect!”

“Actually, it’s Ella, but don’t wear it out.” She shrugs Mikey off with somewhat of a herculean effort, he’s so damn clingy. “But uh, yeah, El for short.”

“No way we could wear it out,” Mikey says firmly, “We gotta break it in, El!”

Leo is still resting his hand on Ella’s shell, gentle and grounding. “So, just Ella or El?”

El shrugs. “Yeah. And uh, it’s not like I resent ‘Raphael’ but that’s jus’ not me anymore.” She looks around at them with a faint grin. “And I don’t care if you guys slip up, don’ worry.”

“We won’t,” is Leo’s instant response, and from the suddenly intense look in his eyes, El knows that Leo is already determined to have no slip-ups ever from this point on. That same perfectionism has pissed her off so many times before, but right now it just makes El feel like she’s been under the basking lamp all damn day; warm right down to her toes and soft as butter left out by the stove.

Don fidgets with his own hands for a moment, still smiling that gentle smile. “Female pronouns and terms only?”

Mikey interrupts with gasps. “Oh! I’ll stop calling you ‘dude’! If you want! But like, I totally mean it in a feminist way most of the time, if that’s cool. I mean if you’re not that’s fine and I’ll stop forever, lips zipped and all that!”

The focus is suddenly almost overwhelming, her brothers’ willingness to adapt is moreso. El scowls for lack of any other expression and shrugs again. “I mean it doesn’t bother me, I know what you mean. Just… maybe lay off it a bit. For now.”

“Nooo problemo!” Mikey beams

Again, Don fidgets with his own hands, then abruptly blurts out, “if you want, I can use mirror pronouns, if that helps?”

“Huh?”

Don doesn’t make eye contact, but he’s still outwardly calm, only picking slightly at a scab on one knuckle. “Mirror pronouns means that whatever pronouns you use can refer to me as well whenever you’re talking about me. Like if Leo asked you where I was, you would say, ‘oh Donnie? She’s in the garage.’ Like that.”

El almost chokes, about two seconds away from letting a few tears escape, but Mikey saves her by shouting, “you can do that!?”

“Gender is a construct, Mikey,” Donnie informs, darting out a hand to cover Mikey’s mouth, “and I haven’t met a construct yet that I haven’t disassembled for fun and curiosity’s sake. Anyway, this is about Ella, not me.” He… she–even just thinking it helps somehow, how is she so damn perceptive–glances at Raph with a crooked little smile. “Do you think that would help?”

El grunts. “Yeah, um, yeah that’s fine.”

“Cool.” Donnie’s smile is a thousand kilowatts.

El would give the whole damn world for her, for all of them. For Mikey and his intense, blinding joy at having a surprise sister, for Leo’s steadfastness no matter what, for Donnie’s ability to find the most unexpected tool to help. The idea that she could have ever had doubts about them is suddenly so absurd that she starts laughing. Her brothers join in, not really knowing why, just happy to see her happy.

Just then Master Splinter walks into the living area.

“I take it that you have had a good swim, my sons?”

Their humor evaporates and the bundle of nerves is back in El’s gut, twisting tight like a fist grabbing her insides.

Stepping forward, Leo starts, “Actually Master-”

El grabs his arm. “No. I got this.”

Leo immediately looks embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“No worries.” El pats him on the shell and then clears her throat pointedly at her brothers. They take the hint and scatter after bowing respectfully to Master Splinter and excusing themselves. They only get far enough away to be just out of sight and on the edge of earshot, El can sense them lingering close by.

Splinter merely raises one bushy brow as El approaches and kneels. “What is it, Raphael?”

“Sensei,” she says, surprised at how steady her voice is, “I hafta’ tell you somethin’.”

“Of course.” Splinter folds into a neat seiza, paws on his knees. “You may speak to me about whatever is on your heart, my child.”

My child. This gives her the courage to forge onward, even though she can’t seem to bring her eyes up any further than her father’s neatly groomed claws. “Sensei. I… I’m not Raphael. Not anymore. ‘S not that I don’t like my name, I just…. I’m not Raphael anymore. I’m a-a girl. I’m not your son. My name is Ella.”

The brief silence that follows is suffocating.

“I see,” says Splinter calmly, no indication in his tone whether he’s taking this well or not.

El trembles. If her father can’t accept this she doesn’t know what she’s going to do.

Suddenly one of her father’s paws lifts, reaching out to gently cup her cheek. A soft thumb pad brushes her scales, gentle pressure coaxing her to lift her head. Splinter’s black eyes are nothing but warm.

“I have seen a great many things in my lifetime. To say I am not surprised would be a lie, but it is not a lie to say that it brings me great joy to welcome you as you truly are, my daughter.”

The dam breaks, and El shuts her eyes tight against the tears suddenly dripping down her cheeks. Once again she shouldn’t be surprised by her family accepting her this way, but it’s still such a relief to be finally recognized. To be seen.

A sob shudders out of her chest and then father, as if she’s not a foot taller than him and three times as bulky, draws her close and hugs her tightly. His claws run across her carapace in a familiar rhythm, like they had so many times when she was still tiny, when she would run to him after a nightmare.

He presses a soft muzzle against the top of her head, whiskers tickling slightly, and then says, with all the pride he possesses as a father, “I am proud of you, my Ella.”

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