#I’ve gone through all social media and stuff

[pascallatte]

oh sweet live

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader

Summary: after a short social media break after their announcement, they decided to go on live just to spoil another thing and just them answering fans.

Date: February 2018

warning/s: future spoilers(??), age gap

Taglist: @benonlinear, @t-stark35, @heyitsme-2, @elleeeee21, @holmesstrange, @tagakalat, @flyestvenustrap, @oldermenaremyreligion, @cherryred444, @avengersheart, @guacala, @pukka-latte, @hobiismyhopeu

A/N: some sort of a filler chapter cause I like it when celebrities do live and stuff.

“Hello everyone!!” You said, setting up the camera when you saw the comments flooding in. You were in your apartment about to go rest when you decided to go on live. This would be your first appearance since you’ve gone public with your relationship, so doing this without preparation or guidance is scary and nerve-wracking. But still, with you being you, you decided to do what you want and let them do what they do.

Once the camera stills from being moved around constantly, it can be seen that you were sitting on the floor in what seems like your living room, given the couch and kitchen behind you that you’ve stated was behind the living room. Sitting on the floor with just a jacket and sweatpants on, bare-faced, with your hair down just how you like it, your coffee mug near you, you looked comfortable and ready for bed. But here you were.

“Anyways, hello to those who are watching. I’m sorry I’ve been absent from the media lately…” you said apologetically as you gave the viewers a small smile. You watched the comments roll through, often about how you are, what you’ve been doing the past month, and of course about you and Pedro, the main event of your live. “…life has been busy at the moment, but I promise you new projects will come.”

Drinking from the cup, you reached for your laptop, placed behind you on the couch. “Y/n, how are you doing these days?” You read, “hmm….. I’ve been doing good, going to the gym has been a new habit of mine, and I don’t regret it,” enthusiastically, as you flex your arms under the fabric of your jacket.

“What are you doing this valentines day?” Squinting your eyes as you read it, debating whether you should answer it or not, “for valentines? I don’t know, we- I haven’t really planned anything yet,” you lied as you scrolled through your laptop. 

“Where’s Pedro?” With a knowing look, you sighed, leaning back on the chair. “So it seems like the comments are filled with questions for Pedro,” raising your eyebrow you decided to tease them. “Guys, I’m the one on live why’d you keep asking for that old goose,” you joked leaning on your hand that was propped up on the table.

“You should do a q&a, y/n-”

“q&a?? How? I mean it’s not like I’ll do it,” you replied still looking at the comments. “Open your twitter and search up your name- oh now that’s interesting,” once again, reaching for the laptop placing it on your lap.

“Tha-that’s something I haven’t really thought of doing, but I’ll do it for you guys as a sorry for my absence.” The clicking of the keyboard was heard before an “oohhhh,” was heard from you. Widening your eyes, you looked back and forth from the screen of your laptop to your phone which was capturing all of your reactions.

“These are- woah. I should do this more often, it’s….interesting to say the least,” you mumbled to yourself. Looking back at your phone, the comment section was flooded with requests that you should read some tweets and say what you think. And to think that you weren’t showered with hate in the comments made you feel less tense than before and that alone made you continue. 

“Read some?? Sure, but I’ll have to make sure these are internet friendly as much as possible”

Humming at the first one, “one of you guys said here, ‘I fucking knew they were dating, what kind of friends would travel alone to one’s hometown just for fun’ to defend ourselves and others who do it, many would do it if you’re close and comfortable enough with them so yeah.”

“I wish I was Pedro’s girlfriend,” laughing at that, “oh boy, umm no comment.” Your response earned some complaints from the live’s comment section, but you paid no mind.

“If y/n ever scrolls here on Twitter and sees this, I just want to ask you what is your guys’ favourite pass time snack?”

“this is cute- favorite pass time snack??” You thought for a moment,

”OH mine is some good ice cream and fried combo, why you ask? It’s because growing up there’s this small old store near my house so every time class ends I go there to get some, and it’s been my favourite ever since. And Pedro’s are- it kind of changes every time we order some in but he’s been eating tacos recently so I think that tells us something.”

Scrolling through Twitter, your reactions vary from almost bursting out in laughter, to being uncomfortable, surprised, and in awe of the sweetness of the tweets. “Y/n and Pedro are literally couple goals, from the way they were seen the past years, I can tell this relationship isn’t new,” you read. Silence passed for a couple seconds before looking at your phone. 

“Should I tell to you guys? I mean you should’ve seen how long we were in his post but..” You paused as a notification rang through, “oh ok- ah going back. As I was saying, I would think that you guys should know by now but the comments say the other. So long story short we’ve been together since march of 2015,” you said as you shrugged your shoulders as if what you’ve said wasn’t that much of a big deal. 

The comment section went wild at your reveal, stating that they were deprived of the information and that they should have sensed a shift in your relationship at that time of the year. you went back to checking your Twitter and this time searching Pedro’s name knowing that he has more ‘interesting’ content. As you were about to read one, your doorbell rang making you look at the phone before standing up, “be right back.”

Your rushed footsteps can be heard before the door squeaked as it opened. Whispers can be heard in the background making the people in the comment section excited, knowing the only person that would enter your apartment at this time of night was the one and only Pedro Pascal.

Pedro was seen peaking from the side of the camera before laughing and a smack was heard. Ruffling sounds started back again before you were seen in the video once again but now with a jacket in hand. You placed it on the couch as you leaned to read the comments on your phone.

“I’m back, was that- yes that was him,” you confirmed, knowing that they’ll only ask more if you denied it. “Can we see him? Uhmm..” You look to the side to where your room was, “I’ll ask him, I don’t want to if he doesn’t want, it's been a long day,” you explained thoughtfully and softly in hopes they would understand.

You waited for a bit more for him to come out, now dressed similarly to what you were wearing. “Cielo, they’re asking for you,” you whispered. “Is it on live?” Pedro was heard making the viewer's spam comments. 

Nodding, “yeah, d-do you want to join or you’d rather rest?” You said reaching for him off-screen. He only stood up, making his first appearance as he rounded the couch to sit next to you. Reaching for your cup, he sips a little, “hi, how are you guys doing?” He greeted before reaching behind you to pull you to him.

“What were you doing when I got here,” he looked down to ask you. “I was reading tweets on Twitter, they told me to and I got curious. Want to join me?”He silently nods before taking your phone.

“Hi, Pedro- hello y/n’s followers. You don’t mind me taking over this live do you?” He teased which made you chuckle as you leaned on his shoulder, while the phone was propped up on his knees. Letting them have a look at your current position which the watchers found cute and “oddly comfortable” to them.

“Okayyy, so you were reading tweets right?”

You only nodded in response giving him the laptop, for him to read. “Did you buy the stuff, I told you to?” quietly as you leaned away from him to look behind you. “Yeah, I think so. But I wasn’t sure about the other things.” Humming you stood up and ruffled his hair before going to your kitchen.

“Soo internet...Let’s do this,” he went back to scrolling through Twitter. “Apparently we got our Javier Pena and Catalina Mendoza continued in real life. Hmm- actually it’s we’ve been rolling on it even before Javi and Lina got together.”

“If y/n ever needs someone to come to comfort her when they break up, I'm here just to let you know,” Laughing at the tweet he turns to you, “Y/n will you ever break up with me?” Pedro asks the very confused you.

“What? What do you mean?” You ask as you popped your head in frame, face clearly confused. “This person was telling the whole world that if we break up they’ll be there for you.” 

“Ohhh, well to whoever you are yo-it won’t happen sometime soon so don’t wait up on me.”

Pedro breaks out in a smile while exaggeratingly placing a hand on his chest, “Awww, she loves me.”

Chuckling, “Actually I take it back,” a gasp was heard from Pedro before you went back to doing what you were doing.

Huffing,” okay, so someone saw us in the gym yesterday and quote in quote “if I knew they’d show up in my gym today I should’ve worn my booty shorts. Y/NNN NOTICE ME!” He shouted which made you look at him again before sighing.

“” Now that Pedro and Y/n have confirmed they're dating, I want them in a rom-com.NOW.” oh a rom-com? I mean sure, you never know, we might be working on one right now,” he teases as he looks at your phone whose comment section was wilding up.

Finishing up what you were doing, you closed the fridge before making another cup of coffee because you know for a fact that Pedro has finished it. Taking a cup, you fill it up then walked back to where he was, of course still reading off of Twitter.

“Hello again,” you said as you sat down. “What’re you reading now?” You asked peering over his shoulder.

“They were asking for spoilers for projects.”

“Oh! That’s confidential all I can say is that we’re having so much fun in shooting-“ you gesture to him, “- and preparing for it,” pointing to yourself.

Both leaning back on the couch, you slither your arm around Pedro’s waist as you point at something before laughing. He gives you a look before covering your mouth before you can speak. “Please, y/n don’t. Please oh god!” Embarrassed he face-palmed before looking at the phone.

“Fine ok ok, I'm sorry. I won’t,” you said still laughing your ass off. You reached for your coffee and gave Pedro a side-eye knowing that he was already looking at what you were drinking.

“Cielo, you’ve already drunk my first one. How ‘bout you lay off of the coffee, yeah?” A grunt was heard from him before he closed the laptop, focusing on the live instead.

“How long have you been on?”

“Uhmmm, 10 minutes I think. Why?”

“Nothing just wanted to know why you weren’t asleep yet. It’s like past midnight already,” as soon as he said that you looked at him adoringly before pinching his nose.

“Nowww, ‘can I be in your video?’ We’re not entirely sure how that works but I’m not sure sorry.”

“Someone’s asking you why you were spotted with Tom Cruise the other day,” he said with a small smirk. Knowing that you can’t really tell them why, so it’ll be fun to see how you come up with an excuse.

“I don’t know actually-no I do know, we- well I was walking to the cafe I was frequent at then he like sort of popped out of nowhere so-yeah. Isn’t that right P?” You looked towards him only to see him holding back his laughter. You shook your head no which made him lean on you circling his arms around your waist.

Changing the topic,” our plans for the summer? Of course to the beach, just not sure where,”

"Plans for Pedro’s birthday? Hmm, that’s a surprise for you guys and himmm," squeezing his cheeks.

“Who are your top artists?- she's currently listening to Adele and I’m listening to all sorts of stuff but I’d still say Prince, obviously” he sassed, making him shake with your laugh as he was still leaning on you.

“Quebec? we just visited during the winter, and got back on the second week of January, I think.”

You let out a loud gasp, “Pedro! Pedro!” slapping his shoulder.

Looking up at you, disturbed, “What?”

“Nothing was just reading the comments” your laugh was replaced by a wince when he pinches your side

“Would y/n get a tattoo soon? Who said she doesn’t have any” teasing the comment section. In which you laughed as they bombarded you with “what is it?”, “When you got it?” and weirdly enough “where is it?”

“English or Spanish? What do you mean, like in conversing or career choices?” Pedro reads aloud as he lets out a breath, which made his tiredness show.

Nodding, ”I’d like to do another Spanish film or series though, you?” You look at him playing with the roots of his hair while he answers, “I’d use any, as long as I like what’s going on.”

“Who would you like to work with- Nicholas Cage, absolutely,” you giggled at his quick response.

“I don’t really have one 'cause everyone looks fun to work with but I’d want to do more adventure or action movies” you answered, making your answer as brief as possible.

Caressing you back, Pedro looks at you, confusion painted on his face, “You’re already in one though?”

“Huh? What do you mean? I haven’t done one after wrapping up for Ocean’s 8?” You pleaded to him with your eyes hoping that he gets you were faking your confusion.

“No y/n the big one, with all the planes and jet- the one with-“ his voice came out muffled as it was your turn to cover his mouth with your hand. Silence enveloped the room as soon as he registered what he had said along with the look of shock on your face. Clearing out his throat he nods and then went back to leaning on you.

“What’s your workout routine? 

“Oh, that’s a nice question” he perked up almost forgetting what he almost spoiled a while ago.

“I lift and-uhh, and running is a thing I do now.”

“It’s called the tom cruise regime guys go look it up,” backing away from him you took his shoulders to make him look at you.

Looking at him wide-eyed, conversing with him through them again. Pedro looked back at you, but this time watched as you take the phone.

“Hi, guys so uhm, we actually have to go or else you’ll have to witness the murder of your beloved Pedro Pascal. Bye!!” You quickly ended the live after that.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x actress!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x female reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

[tinybirbwrites]

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way. 

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

-

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time. 

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?” 

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

-

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you. 

It was your blog. 

It was your writing. 

Your Nightwing fanfics. 

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?” 

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours. 

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios. 

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them. 

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person. 

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret. 

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him. 

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself. 

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now. 

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too. 

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

-

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since. 

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew. 

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing. 

He was nice like that. Goddammit. 

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message. 

From Dick. 

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything. 

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages. 

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you. 

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.” 

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words. 

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time. 

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both. 

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser. 

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure. 

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” 

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

#dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #reader insert #x reader #genderneutral reader

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Predicting my 2023 solar return chart because I couldn’t sleep😴

2023 solar return chart is looking too much scary and crazy for me. My birthday is in June and it’s 2 months ahead but I think the effects have already started to show up in some areas of my life at this moment.

•Scorpio rising at 18 degrees (Virgo deg)

-I think this year, I would be mainly focused on transformations for myself, emotionally and physically.

-I went through a very intense and messy breakup and I found myself reflecting these circumstances a lot lately.

-I’ve been watching videos about self-concept, psychology and manifestation on youtube because I actually want to transform myself and I have a feeling I would succeed.

-I want to transform myself into someone who’s powerful with a lil bit of mysterious aura.🤭

-I started to take interest in occult and metaphysical topics and witchy stuff.

-I bought my first tarot deck about two weeks ago just because my gut told me to do it.

-I started to rely a lot on my intuition and most of them are on point.

-I had some prophetic dreams which came true in real life. (thanks to my natal Neptune and Uranus in 8th house too) IT’S KINDA CRAZY. THAT DREAM HAPPENED EXACTLY IN MY REALITY.🤯

-I notice that I also tend to become more private on social media and I back away from people, even from my best friend who I used to talk with everyday because I feel so drained for literally no reason. (but maybe this solar eclipse and mercury retrograde are the hidden answer😏)

-I’ve been getting lots of compliments too. One of my guy friends told me that I look like a maneater in these days. (I just had leo rising in 2022 SR chart and my attention-seeking ass is enjoying this too much hehe🙊)

-The MAIN reason why I’m scared of scorpio rising in SR chart is because I was bullied at school, got slapped by my mom, sexually harassed and these all happened for the very first time in my life and also my biggest secret got exposed (which was kinda like receiving karma for what I had done) in the year I had scorpio rising.😃

-The rising degree was at 29 degrees and I was slut-shamed publicly. (❗️Tip: if you have 29 degrees on planets or points in your solar return chart, that might indicate the end of a chapter and a new beginning, for better or worse depends on what you have done and the planet shows in which area you’ll encounter these endings).

-All students knew my name but in a notorious way like “oh that girl? Ummm🙄 *shrugs*”. -These events brought major changes into my life. It changed my whole personality.

-I was scared and in the dark for the whole year. But to face my foes, I had to put on that “I’m fucking strong bitches don’t you dare touch me” mask the whole year. No one was on my side. But these events helped me become a girl who I am right now. I used to be a fun, outgoing, optimistic, free, flirty and giggling little girl but right now, I’m not that kind of girl anymore. I’ve become a brave and strong girl who had gone through a lot but still didn’t give up. However, I have never shown my vulnerable side to anyone up to this day since that year. That year is the year that I’ll NEVER forget. And that’s why I’m feeling a bit nervous to go through another year with scorpio rising.😰

-I might receive karma for what I had done. Good or bad.

-I might also attract a lot of unwanted attention from others since I also have Venus conjunct mars and Lilith conjunct MC this year. Main theme is transformation and shocking things might also happen. My secrets could be leaked maybe. Just don’t wanna assume things before anything happens.🥱

•Sun in Gemini in 8th house at 24 degrees (Pisces deg)

-This year is literally screaming “TIME TO TRANSFORM YOU BITCH” at my face lol😂. -My main focus is gonna be healing ofc and transformation I guess.

-I might have to face my shadow side and I think the universe will push me to deal with it to achieve my higher self.

-I also kinda observe things deeply a lot nowadays and it could go on for the whole year.

-I feel like I might go through my ego death or as I said, an old chapter could end and new beginnings would come.

-I’m a bit worried about me and my family’s health. I’ve been feeling ill for quite some time now due to low blood pressure. I’m also worried about my parents especially my dad because idk I just feel something weird but let’s not think about it because I don’t wanna manifest anything bad to him.🥺

-I’m not going to predict further about this because I’ve said enough above as this is quite similar to scorpio rising. My main focus is 8th house and scorpio themed.🖤

•Sun conjunct Juno

-People say this is like “meeting your soulmate” aspect of the year. I hope I would meet someone too whether it’s platonic or romantic because it’s fun to interact with new people.😺

•Sun square Neptune

-My creation skills could be kinda blocked. It’s happening even right now. In the past, when I started to write about something, the words just naturally flew out of my head but right now, I’m a bit stuck and delayed. My thoughts are delayed. I even forget how to structure sentences creatively.

•Moon in Taurus in 7th house at 21 degrees (Sag deg)

-My emotions could be mainly invested in relationships and partnerships.

-I could be thinking a lot about how to get better in relationships and any-ships.

-I just hope I won’t be lost in love again but I’m pretty sure I definitely won’t too.🤡

-Btw, I love having moon at sagittarius degree because it might mean I would feel optimistic and free like a little girl version of me before 2019!

•Moon conjunct Uranus

-Mood swings. URGH. I don’t even need to predict this because they’re already happening. I have daily mood swings but I notice that since about the start of April, I’ve become so much unstable and inconsistent in my emotions. One minute I’m on instagram and another minute, I’m on google. Another minute I’m on tumblr and I just keep jumping from one tab to another A LOT.

-I also feel quite chaotic and confused about some of my relationships. I love my best friend one minute and another minute, I kinda reconsider if she’s really good for me or not. And I just feel exhausted just by existing.😮‍💨

•Mercury in Gemini in 7th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Idk how to interpret this. Please HELP kindly if you can. Thank you! Maybe share your experiences?❤️

•Venus in Leo in 9th house at 8 degrees (Scorpio deg)

-I love having Venus in 9th house when it comes to SR charts. I had this placement in 2022 and man, I had 3 trips in one year and all of those were amazing times for me. It’s pleasant and I felt so excited by those adventures.

-Needless to say, I also met my ex in college (actually the first time we ever met was in 2019, at a language school but we met again in college🙄) and somehow most of my relationships were based in college and they’re going to go more for another 7 years so you can say they’re quite significant.

-So, I think I might also get a boyfriend or boyfriendS from college this year. Or else it could be through traveling, education and religious places.

-I might find aesthetics in learning about spirituality and might be focused and might have fixated opinions on my belief system related to religion (as it is in leo).

-I started to become more religious in these days and I also started to stand firm in what I believe instead of being a people-pleaser and saying “oh I also believe that” to every opinion existing.👏🏻

•Venus conjunct mars

-Yayyy people say this is the year I’m getting most attention from both genders. I mean I don’t like attention that much because it’s draining but who doesn’t love being put in a spotlight if it’s for good? (at this point my natal sun in 12th house being indecisive if he likes attention or not)🤦🏻‍♀️

-I love receiving love from people so this is a great placement for me.

-And also, my sexual energy can be highly increased this year.😶

-I might have several options for romantic partners and might come out more charming and alluring than usual.

•Venus opposite Pluto

-Kinda scared again because my SR chart ruler is in hard aspect with SR Venus which is in 9th house.

-I hope communication between peers would go well and relationships won’t be destroyed because of misunderstandings in communication.

-Idk why but I have this gut feeling that I’m going to attract someone or be attracted to someone who’s manipulative, toxic and jealous. Or I might be the one who would be obsessed with someone having all of those plutonic qualities. My relationships could be pluto-themed and transformative I guess.

-Some people say that this is also an indicator of glow-up in SR chart and I find this pretty accurate because I’m going to the gym for the first time in July!🤩

•Venus conjunct vertex

-Fated love? Fated relationships? Can be through 9th house related places and the other person may have leo or taurus qualities. Or the meeting could be leo-themed I guess?

•Mars in Leo in 9th house at 14 degrees (Taurus deg)

-This can mean I would put a lot of effort into college and it can be true because I have my final exams in June and I have to sweat my ass off for that.😵

-I might be rethinking about my belief system and replanning about my education too.

-As I have my natal mars in natal 9th house, I kinda like this placement because it’s friendly to me.

-I might seek for freedom and would cancel anyone who’s blocking me from becoming confident and free.

-I might go under a sexual encounter which may be brief but transformative. Or maybe one-night stand LMAO (jk I don’t like one-night stands personally).

-I’m a virgin so I’m even a bit curious if I’m going to lose my virginity this year because I have a very strong gut feeling about having first sex with someone who’s important for me.😭👀

•Mars conjunct vertex

-Fated sexual encounter maybe. Maybe fated accidents? Lol I’m sorry I don’t wanna manifest accidents for myself haha😂 But personal planets in conjunction with vertex can also mean fated people might be brought to our life to teach us something, both karmic and non-karmic ones, eg like a teacher or a mentor.

•Mars conjunct Lilith

-I have a very strong gut feeling that I’m gonna gain lots of sexual attention or might attract aggressive partners who want to tame me (sorry guys but my Lilith in 1st house won’t let it happen🤗).

-I might become comfortable and have courage enough to express my sexuality.

-May have power struggles with authority figures.

-I notice that I’ve been feeling like “who are you to judge me bastards” towards controlling authority figures.🌝

•Mars conjunct MC

-I might work hard to reach my goals.

-I might also appear assertive, daring and competitive in public.

-This is also special because my natal MC ruler is mars and it is now highlighted in my SR chart.

-I’m going to the gym for the first time in July too so maybe people would see me athletic and confident this year.

•Jupiter in Taurus in 6th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Jupiter is about expansion and luck so, I might gain luck and blessings through my health, my routines, my colleagues (but for me, friends).

-I just wish I won’t gain weight because Jupiter sometimes indicates weight gains and 6th house is health and physical house thank god I’m going to the gym.

-My health could become better BUT since both Venus and mars square Jupiter, love and sex might deteriorate my health in some way - idk how to interpret this.🧘🏻‍♀️

•Pluto in Capricorn in 3rd house at 29 degrees (Leo deg)

-Transformations could arise around siblings, neighborhood, education, short trips, knowledge and communication.

-I also have my natal chart ruler in my natal 3rd house so this energy is quite familiar for me but let’s see how Pluto energy would go this year. (i had Pluto in 6th house last year and I had eating disorder LMAO🤧)

•North node in Taurus in 6th house at 3 degrees (Gemini deg)

-My purpose might be to take care of myself- my health mainly as I said that my health is not so good in these days.

-Also it could be showing that I need to reconstruct my daily routines and abandon every bad habit that is no longer serving me. Maybe I might need to balance my studies and my relaxation time.

•Uranus-moon conjunction conjuncts descendant

-There could be unexpected and sudden changes, events occurring in my relationships. -I feel like I might go into a romantic relationship but that won’t be committed or at least, it would be weird and unusual. Not traditional and maybe shocking too. I might be the one who’s not willing to commit because right now, I have zero desire to start another relationship. Tbh, my ex is still in a part of me and I need to cut him off first. I might attract unconventional people too.

•Lilith conjunct MC

-I started to feel a bit outcasted since my breakup and it became worse. My ex has a new girlfriend now but she and her friends are gossiping about me. I heard it through one of my mutual friends and it’s so Lilith-themed in my opinion. They wanna slut-shame me for no reason. I don’t know why but when other girls kiss their boyfriends, they seem pretty normal. When I kiss my boyfriend, I suddenly become like a slut. I also kinda have to put on “Wtf you bitches, seriously!? Sorry but I’m unbothered” mask in college just to defend myself. As a result, I could be seen as someone who’s unapologetic, daring and untamed. Or maybe I might represent Lilith traits unconsciously in this year.🔫

•Part of fortune in libra 11th house at 15 degrees (Gemini deg)

-I might gain luck through friendships, connections with people, humanitarian work, beauty, social media.

•SR ascendant falls into natal 4th house (3 degrees away from 5th house cusp)

-Mainly focused areas - family, past lessons, roots and childhood. Could also be - romance, fun, flings, dates, creativity, children.

•Fixed dominant

-My mind can be fixated and I might stick to one decision only.

•Earth dominant

-I might be a bit stable but Idk how I feel about this one because I also have moon-Uranus conjunction haha

•Taurus stellium

-Love and beauty could be mainly focused? But I love having taurus stellium because I love taurus energy. They look so calm. In my opinion. At least.🌸

•7th house stellium

-Might be “Love is in the air” year for me but I’m closing my nose till my prince charming comes and commits to me fully and gives me princess treatment. Plus, I don’t wanna kiss froggos anymore. Yuck.💀

Anyways, this was a long ass post and I’m so freaking excited for the upcoming year. Afraid, nervous but at the same time, so curious about what might happen because placements in this year’s chart are a bit crazy and intense in my opinion. Also please bear with my grammar mistakes as I’m an ESL student. You can also share your experiences with me if you have had any of these placements in your previous years’ solar return charts. Thank you!❤️

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro observations #astro notes #solar return chart #scorpio rising #sun in 8th house #moon in taurus #moon in 7th house #moon conjunct uranus #mercury in 7th house #mercury in gemini #venus in leo #venus in 9th house #venus conjunct mars #venus conjunct vertex #venus opposite pluto #mars in leo #mars in 9th house #mars conjunct vertex #mars conjunct lilith #mars conjunct midheaven #jupiter in taurus #north node in taurus #north node in 6th house #lilith conjunct mc #taurus stellium #7th house stellium #synastry observations

[sensitiveheartless]

different from the fanfic writer ask thing, but I just wanted to thank you for always always always being such a friendly and positive ray of sunshine in the fandom! BSD fandom is generally a hostile place to be, but your tumblr is and always has been such a chill place to be! It’s always so fun to see your fic ideas and fanart, and it’s always a relief to be able to interact with you, knowing you’re not going to overreact and lash out unexpectedly! Thanks for being such a bright, safe spot that makes this fandom worth staying in and interacting with!

Anon I will CRY, don’t tempt me — but seriously, I’m really glad I’ve been able to be that for you!

I think I’ve been pretty lucky, to be honest — I might have grown up with too much unsupervised internet access, but one thing that my mom did hammer into my head at a young age was to never ever share anything personal about myself with anyone online. Which my child brain interpreted as “never talk to anyone ever or they will find out where you live”, so I then proceeded to avoid making any social media accounts, and in general tried to never interact with anything online at all up until I was in college.

…Anyway, as a result of that, my default state is not interacting with things, which makes it pretty easy to ignore random internet squabbles or people trying to be inflammatory. (Also I don’t go in the main tags for bsd so I just see things through the blogs I follow, none of which are particularly drama-prone, so I’ve overall had a pretty positive experience in this fandom, considering it’s the first one I’ve ever interacted with. I think in general that kind of curation makes for a much more chill experience, so I do recommend that.)

But yeah! I will never lash out at someone for saying hi, or just interacting with me in general, and I fully intend to keep this a chill blog where I just share the stuff I’m working on :D I am here because I like making things and I like talking with people about the blorbos!

Ah, also, a somewhat related guarantee: on the rare occasions I’ve gotten bad faith hate mail on here, I have ignored it and gone to draw something that makes me happy instead of responding. I will continue to utilize that strategy, and that is a promise. Y’all don’t need to see that kind of negativity, and it’s a waste of energy to respond, so I don’t.

(This also seems like a good time to say that I am dearly sorry if I’ve ever blocked a real person while mistaking them for a bot, it’s just genuinely hard to tell sometimes alskdjfj)

#I hope you have a good day today anon! ✨ sending good vibes #ask box

[rosetheocto]

For me and a lot of others, social media and the internet in general was one of the best things that has ever happened to our lives. Many people think that the reason the mental health of so many minors is awful is because of the internet. I’m absolutely confident that it is not. In fact, the internet is more like an escape, because most of the causes for declining mental health happen in real life.

I’ll admit, my mental health isn’t the best. It’s far from the best. but NONE of it was caused by being online. It was caused by years of bullying and abuse, (with not a single bit of it being through the internet) and seeing people like the ones in Congress doing everything in their power to ensure that people like me and the many people I’ve grown to love and care about these past few years will never be able to have a happy future.

I’m not completely denying that some people have developed stuff like depression through the internet. It has happened before. But a pretty large majority of the internet agrees that a law like the Earn It Act, COPPA 2.0, and KOSA aren’t gonna help with that in the slightest. There’s plenty of ways to protect kids online, but this is not the solution.

The government shouldn’t be parenting people’s children. The internet shouldn’t be parenting people’s children.

I know this is all I’ve been posting/reblogging recently, but that’s because this is an extremely important thing going on that could ruin and end so many lives!!! I swear to god guys, please call, please sign petitions, because our voices are being heard. Multiple senators have voiced their concerns on this bill because we’ve been calling.

Yes, they are going to try to forcibly pass KOSA this week, but we only need ONE senator to oppose it for it not to become an official law.

I don’t know how much time we have left exactly, but I know it’s not a lot. So please call, text, sign petitions, make sure your voice is heard, or else the #1 support for minorities, and the #1 way people communicate in general, will be GONE.

#kosa #stop kosa #kids online safety act #bad internet bills #fight for the future

[foxes-that-run]

Love of My Life

LOML closes out Harry's House, it's a sad song about realising someone is the love of his life after he had lost them. Harry has spoken about an albums start and end, Harry's House starts with Sushi, imploring his muse to let love in and asking himself if just a taste of love is enough. LOML is about loss of that person and realisation that they were the love of his life. To Zane Lowe Harry said:

"Love of my life, I’ve always wanted to write a song about like home and loving England and all that kind of stuff. And it’s always kinda hard to do without being like ‘went to the chippy and I did this thing’ and to me Love of My Life was the most terrifying song for a long time because it is so bare, it's so sparse." He went on to say: "And in the spirit of what Harry's House is about, I think it started as an idea that was very literal, on the nose, [...] As I started making the album it wasn't about the geographical location it was much more of an internal thing."

So, what he said was that it is about his home and England is a metaphor. Home is common theme in Harry's work, most notably in Sweet Creature but even in 1D it has meant more than a place to him. The notebook also has a quote 'your mother is my home'. Taylor has also used home or homeland to refer to Harry, WomanExile has a great post on their usage of home as a metaphor for each other.

The Lyric Video has roses, which Harry and Taylor Swift also use to refer to each other:

Since 1989, all rose and thorn lyrics are about Harry

Harry 's rose Tattoo is from 11 September 2013, when they started dating again after the VMAs.

Roses have been in videos, outfits, social media posts about each other, a list is here.

Timeline

In the NY ONO show Harry said he wrote it in Rob Stringers' (Sony CEO) house and that the phone ringing in it is his. As it Was was recorded in the same session, and in part, has a similar meaning. This places it in the first half of 2021. After the rest of the album, California. Also after Folk/evermore which are about communicating and endings respectively. Harry had seen Taylor in March at the 2021 Grammy's. At the time it was written Taylor was still dating Joe. Harry had been dating Olivia for a few months.

California in particular refers to 'summers death left to breathe' indicating that there may have been an ending of sorts in 2020 before he returned to England and drove to Italy over the time Folklore was released.

Though not lyrically addressed, to me LOML is a 'yes' to Question..?'s "Did you realize out of time, she was on your mind?" Question was written in the same time period, after the Grammy's interaction but was released 6 months later.

Tracklisting, release and length

Love of My Life is Harry's only track 13, Taylor's number. It was released on her birthday. It is 3:12 long, or March, 31 2012 - the date they met.

Live shows

Harry said to Zane Lowe he thought he would close the show with it. And he did up until March 25 2023 when it was replaced by Fine Line in the last leg. Later that same week Taylor Swift replaced Invisible String with The 1 and announced her split from Joe Alwyn. It only returned for the 3 Wembley shows.

It was missing for 30 shows and is one of the least played Harry’s House songs, only above Boyfriends and Grapejuice which was added for the last leg.

Lyrics

Baby, you were the love of my life, woah Maybe you don't know what's lost 'til you find it

The first verse is a turn on the phrase “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” he reconnected with his love and found she is the 1 but it is past tense, he still lost her. This is similar to the Clean secret message, which also appeared in the OOTW video “She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything.” And the cyclical nature of this relationship.

Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon We can always find somethin' for us to do We don't really like what's on the news, but it's on all the time

The second verse to me is remembering good times with this person, when he felt at home, with shared experiences and comfort.

I take you with me every time I go away In a hotel, usin' someone else's name I remember back at Jonny's place, it's not the same anymore

To me, I take you with me everytime I go away refers to what Harry said about an internal feeling, no matter where he is in the world his love is ever-present even when they are not.

In the Dublin show on the 22nd June 2023 Harry confirmed this refers to his childhood friend is Jonathan Harvey. This speaks to Harry’s concept of home as the feeling that you are loved and belong. To me this reference is to when Harry took Taylor on a tour of his home in England, to the lakes, where he grew up and she may have met Jonny in 2012. She said that was her best birthday, sharing his home with her was important to him. To me, this line means their relationship is different now to it was then. As it was is also similar with with an external view of how others would see them and their place in life.

It's unfortunate, ooh Just coordinates, ooh

It’s unfortunate, just coordinates sounds to me like he’s reflecting on how they got from the Lakes trip to their current state. This applies to his feelings about love and home. The impact touring has had on his life, what is home and his relationships.

I don't know you half as well as all my friends I won't pretend that I've been doin' everything I can To get to know your creases and your ends Are they the same?

Knowing his love is a theme, in Sunflower Harry sang “Let me inside, I wanna get to know you” and in Fine Line “Spreading you open Is the only way of knowing you” to explore the idea of intimacy co-existing with distance with the same person.

He also sings about not knowing his love in Trouble “And I don’t even know you / But I feel like I do sometimes”. Interestingly in If I could fly he feels like she knows him “Now you know me / for you eyes only”.

The “are they the same” speaks to once knowing all the creases and ends but not now. “Super Pretty” has a similar theme of distant intimacy and vulnerability “do you still feel the same about me”.

Baby, you were the love of my life, woah Maybe you don't know what's lost 'til you find it It's not what I wanted, to leave you behind Don't know where you'll land when you fly But, baby, you were the love of my life

The final chorus adds “don’t know where you’ll land when you fly” which confirms he is singing to a person not a country. Specifically a person with a private jet who can fly without the destination known. For that person every mystery take off is relentlessly tracked by an instagram account. How alienating it must be to someone who loves and wants her to see that and not know.

#haylor #harry styles #harry’s house

[mrschwartz]

Alex Turner for OOR Magazine (October 2022)

Conducted in August 20th 2022 by Willem Bemboom

Alex in the sun on a terrace. Leather jacket, classic shades, a big head of hair in desperate need of a handful of Brylcreem. He almost looks like a time-traveller, someone from another dimension, unmoved by the sounds of the city in the distance and the swelling lunch crowd around us.

He talks slowly and dragging, as if the battery is almost flat.  His pauses in thought are numerous and stretched out, sometimes to determine what he DOES want to say, more often to think about what he does NOT want to say. Apparently he is so used to intelligent or difficult questions, that the easy ones throw him off. What are you listening to? What has changed? What do you think yourself is the most beautiful lyric? Endless silences, you can almost hear the brain cracking. But they are by no means painful. The lesson taken from previous interviews - and in fact the essence of Arctic Monkeys: just let Alex Turner meditate, that's where eventually the best things come from.

The sunglasses meanwhile are being taken on and off every minute. With wide eyes full of wonder Turner turns the casual things lying on the table into a journey of discovery. OOR's old trusted dictaphone for example. 'Reliable stuff', he judges. ‘At worst eats your tape one time, but such a device will not betray you. Two buttons, on, off, record, play. You don't need more options. I want to start working with these things a bit more.”

He weighs the device for a moment, as if he is testing a peach or tomato at the local fruit & veg. A mysterious short laugh follows. Who knows what goes on in that head.

The Car as a record makes an analogous impression, either way in terms of technique and instrumentation.

Right? Texture wise for sure. Old instruments, string arrangements. The ideas are kneaded to songs with human hands. Although this time we also have a Moog.

And the subjects as well seem to come from a different time. Classic Hollywood, faded glory, but also Cold War stuff. In various songs there are spying elements sneaking around.

That’s for sure what I’m doing in the new songs. Think of Gene Hackman in The Conversation, you have to search in circle of people as such.Vague surveillance stuff, listening devices [focuses on the recorder again]. A bit like how this conversation is also being recorded, haha.

Social media seems completely absent, you are far from sketching a contemporary time frame. People talk on the phone together.

Good point. I imagine that phone in Big Ideas like that, on the wall, with a turntable. It is indeed an analog world, there is no apping or anything like that. On the first song on our first record I sing about a phone that is being unlocked [The View From The Afternoon]. You had to press the asterisk key to avoid accidentally turning on your cell phone. We still play that song every night, I’ve now sang it so often that I’m not thinking about those lyrics at all. A few days ago I did have a clear mind and suddenly I realised: gosh, this is not how phones are any more! Back in the days I was more up-to-date with my technological references, on AM there are still text messages and such. That's gone now. I have gone back in time, it seems.

Your previous album took place at the moon. Where - and especially when - is The Car set?

Hm. [long silence] You know what, I really don't have any idea whatsoever. Even for Tranquility Base I now wonder if it all took place at the moon. That sort of thing reveals itself only later, sometimes even a lot later. The music triggers something in me, I build on the atmosphere and the sound, and I just let The Idea run wild - though I refine the lyrics endlessly after they get into shape. But the source? Dunno, that can't be guided or be explained. I did try to steer away a bit more from the sci-fi idiom than on the previous one. Whether it succeeded is question number two. For some reason there’s somehow always science fiction seeping through.

You now refer in several numbers to old movies and showbiz, like the musical Anything Goes, 1930s Broadway, with music by Cole Porter. New fascination?

Hmmm, no. By the way, it is indeed lifted from a movie. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom begins with the song Anything Goes, from that musical, sung in Chinese. Nice opening, although I’m certainly not the biggest Indiana Jones fan. I suddenly thought about it, so it ended up in that song. That's how it goes with most things. Who knows where it comes from and what it means. It's suddenly there.

Is Sculptures Of Anything Goes a New York song? Apart from the Broadway link you sing about 'city life 09', the period you lived in Brooklyn, and ‘Village coffee mornings, with not long since retired spies’.

As in: written in New York? No, I haven't been to New York in ages. The Village is in there…. I think this is another of those science fiction things. You've been nervously playing around with that empty cassette box for 15 minutes now, and I’m now imagining that it contains City Life 09. I’m fond of the idea there will be a city life cartridge in the future, a simulation that you can board. I’m imagining a full box of those cartridges, from 1929 to 1959 to 1969 to 1979 to 1989 and so on. That’s because I think there should be intervals of ten years to notice a substantial difference in such a huge city. And the 2009 one is missing from that lyric, it's inside the machine because it's used most often. Whether it's also refers to my time in New York… No idea. It's purely a bit of fantasy.

Let’s swap the fantasy for the facts for a little bit: where and when did you start making this record?

Even before the lockdowns, right away after the Tranquility Base tour in South America. In April and May 2019 I wrote the first attempts of new songs, we already recorded some bits in late 2019, but that attempt led to nothing. Only after the lockdowns we came back together again, last summer, in Butley Priory, an old monastery at the coast of Suffolk. No one knew we were there, it was a remote place. It reminded me of our first record, when we went from the madhouse to the countryside for a while as well. We never did that again ever since, until now. Recording a record in England also was a while ago, same counts for a summer album. So there we were again, at the English countryside, as a rrrrock band! [big eyes and a rolling rrrrr] No distractions, like in the city. Extra focus, no prying eyes. All in the same zone. Good morning, you know.

We will come back at that ‘rock band’ part for a bit later. What did a day in Suffolk look like for the rest?

Oh, every morning we got trumpeted out of our beds with a reveille. And a while after a bell was ringing: go to work, lazy bastards! Thereafter a Powerpoint presentation with schedules and tactics. No, just joking, it was the opposite. Very calm and relaxed, everything in our own tempo. These days I find it essential to take the time. That’s because every project has to search and find its own way. As a maker you also have to let a piece of work go its own way. During the summer of 2019 I read a book about movie editing, In The Blink Of An Eye by Walter Murch. Although movie editing is not my discipline, I did get interesting things out of it anyway, there are parallels with how I put together a record these days. Editing usually involves cutting out bad bits. The question that immediately arises: what is a bad bit? Are there bad bits at all? This Sir Murch calls the process of editing the discovery of a path through all the available material. The more you shot, the more possible paths there are. And because I had quite a lot of ideas, more than ever actually, which all wanted to exist, it was extra important to especially follow the feeling. Sometimes I got a direction in mind, and then the piece itself drags you in the opposite direction anyway. It has other ideas. It lives, it is an entity. Let it go. That’s how it went now as well.

You keep on avoiding the meaning of your lyrics. Is the writing of it not a conscious process then?

Hmmm, that always comes last anyway. I am endlessly adjusting and rewriting. When we were working on the music in Suffolk, I hardly sang on top of it. I do believe that at this moment in time I write down what I am experiencing more directly. I'm a bit more open, more honest, apparently inspired by four guys who are just standing together in a room making music.

What do you consider your favourite find on The Car?

Oh… I forgot to bring my cheat sheet. I’ve got a folder with notes, which I planned on bringing with me. But it also feels a little know-it-all and self-conscious to start giving a lecture from my own notes here. My best line… I wouldn’t know! I simply don’t know all the lyrics by heart yet. [long pause] I think ‘Big Ideas’ as a whole is a very accomplished song.

Ah, with the ‘hysterical scenes’ that are reminiscent of a band just breaking through. ‘We had ‘em out of their seats, waving their arms and stomping their feet’ – that’s where the echo of Monkeymania is audible.

Strange times.

Or just The Beatles. ‘Clap your hands and stomp your feet’, is what Lennon sometimes shouted from the stage…

Hm, yeah. No. Here I imagine sort of more like a movie producer giving someone a call. Or something like that.

Big Ideas is full of melancholy – and that counts for more songs in general.

It’s not just in the words, you know. Yes, so that’s how it works for me: the words arise from the feeling the music evokes. The melody supplies the words and ideally they complement each other. In that way, the things it makes you say are indeed not conscious. It purely revolves around what the music allows you to say.

“Over and out, it’s been a thrill”, you sing on Big Ideas. Hello You, Jet Skis On The Moat and Perfect Sense also contain “goodbyes” and “goodnights”. Are you saying goodbye to something?

Yeah, I think that’s fair. That all has to do with where I arrived in life at the moment. I’m 36, the band exists for about twenty years, including the whole run-up. So I’ve been in the band for more than half of my life. You leave things behind, while the clock keeps ticking. People, places, your younger self. Time. Though that’s not necessarily a bad thing, you get new things in return. But it’s human nature to sometimes look back on what has been, what’s behind you. Though I’m pretty good at leaving things behind.

Like loud guitar music for example.

[big eyes] Ha!

The rrrrrrrrock band you just mentioned is not the same as the one from 2006 anymore.

Haha, not on the record, no! But on stage we just keep on rocking, that all co-exists. But you know what’s the funny thing? We could very well still have made a loud guitar record after all. If the music had asked for it, I think I would have obediently followed. When we finished touring in 2019, everything pointed in that direction. Much louder than Tranquility Hotel, in any case. But that started to shift towards a different direction and that’s why we took a break from it at the time. I was afraid I would start forcing things. And sometimes you just have to accept the fact you can’t go back to the riffs from ten years ago. At the end of the tour I knew what kind of songs I wanted to do, with the lights of the stage still in my eyes and the thundering roars of the audience in my ears. Big, loud guitars should have been part of that. That’s what I’m gonna do! I even put on my motorcycle boots to get a hold of that mood. But that didn’t feel right in the end, as said. You’re not that person anymore, your music wants to go in a different direction. Then I can only follow that.

Put the Arctic Monkeys who were recording at the English countryside in 2006 next to the band working at Suffolk last summer. Not to see what has changed, but what hasn’t changed?

Well, everything has changed. [2 minutes of silence while you can almost hear a movie playing in his head] … except for the countryside and England, haha! I did find it more fun this time though. Maybe because right now we finally know what we’re doing. Yes, that has remained the same. The only reason we now can not make a loud guitar record in all peace and comfort, is because we’re still Arctic Monkeys. Everyone has grown up, the essence of the band has grown with us. The faces are a bit more round, the boys call their children instead of their parents, but the feeling remains the same. Life itself happened – and not in an unpleasant way. It’s all good, everything. Yes, it’s fine.

Why did you have more fun now than back then? Did that 20 year old kid that recorded ‘Whatever People Say I Am…’ not know what he was doing?

Not what happened to him, no. It was a great time, but oh dear, so much stress! Now I’m completely relaxed in everything I do. Looking back at 2006, everything was so… tight! My guitar was hanging just below my chin, the strap was almost pinched around my back. That example alone. I let the guitar nicely hang nowadays. And sometimes I even leave it in its stand. The schedules are looser, the people are looser, the music is looser. Less heavy, not as frenetic and whaaaargh! It’s fitting better in its own skin. Just like ourselves. The jacket is hanging loosely unbuttoned. I’m sitting behind a grand piano in the corner. And still it feels like Arctic Monkeys, because we’re still walking the same path, however strange the path winds. The same timeline and the same principles. The path, following the music, is the constant factor. 15 years ago we followed our instinct as young lads and The Record is what resulted from it. Now we’re still doing that, and this time that record is The Car.

Oh yeah, The Car. What kind of car is it?

Just a car.

Does it stand for anything?

No, it’s standing on a roof. The cover photo was taken by Matthew Helders, our drummer. When I saw that photo a few years ago, I immediately knew it had the potential to be an album cover for the band. There’s not just spies and goodbyes in the lyrics, if you listen closely you can hear a few cars. And after [raises voice] Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino the temptation to call something ‘The Car’ is simply too big. It is what it is.

So just a car.

Yep. And that car on the cover in particular.

Where was the photo taken?

If I’m not mistaken, in Los Angeles.

Ah, Los Angeles. There you’re nothing without a car. What kind do you drive?

I don’t own a car. I’m back in London now and it’s just not practical there. No car…

Where did you used to go on holidays as a kid?

Oh, eh, Eastbourne, on the south shore. With my grandparents on the Dotto Train, one of those tourist carts along the beach. But how did we suddenly end up here?

I wondered about this when I heard The Car, the song. Nicely melancholic, you sing about past holidays, falling asleep at the back seat.

But that doesn’t take place in Eastbourne [rolls his eyes]. But where does it take place, I can hear you think… In a parallel universe full of espionage and science fiction, haha!

Sounds exciting. Have you ever tried writing a script yourself?

No. The kind of stories I tell are mostly… based on the music and the melodical ideas, as I already explained. Those bring forth the story. If I wouldn’t have that, I would struggle. I would like to learn this though, sometime, one day. But I’m not working on it now, it’s a whole different skill to the one I’ve currently got on board. Never say never, we’ll see. But definitely not tomorrow [thinks for a bit, laughs]. Tomorrow’s Pukkelpop. There’s no time for drafting scripts. Although it is a world I would like to roam about, one I’d like to explore. At the Priory I had an old 16mm camera with me, one that fits in the palm of your hand and you have to crank up yourself. Still not even close to Hollywood. But ah well, that’s a hobby.

What music are you listening to yourself at the moment?

[two minutes of silence] I used to be able to always draw a straight line from what I was listening to right to the new record, that’s different now, I think. No more adding this, this, this and this and you’ve got the new Monkeys. It’s not as clear what those things are this time, not even for me.

If you could go to Record Palace at the opposite of Paradiso with 50 euros right now, what would you pick from there?

Oh wow, that place is amazing! I actually should stop by there later. We’ve been so busy fine-tuning the show, this morning I only took a walk in the park for a bit… Lovely morning.

But at the moment you’re listening to…

Oh man… After finishing the record, nothing for a while, for a few months. Now it’s starting up again a bit. Headphones on… listening to things. What do I want to share here right now?

I’ll just write down Nookie by Limp Bizkit.

Oh no. Is that a threat? Alright, in that case do… Nat King Cole! The song ‘Where Did Everybody Go’. Why? That’s why.

At There’d Better Be A Mirrorball you actually sound a bit like Nat King Cole. Coincidence?

Ha, that’s nice! Eh, yes, coincidence. On the other hand: what’s a coincidence?

You sing a lot in falsetto, you croon, sometimes you’re channelling Bowie. Are you still looking for your voice or are you finally coming close?

Always in search of! You look for a manner of singing that guides the music the easiest way. A way that’s in tune with the feeling you wanna convey. That’s the hardest part… no, that’s what you’re aiming for, that connection.

Connection with?

With what you can’t really grasp. And can’t understand. Or can’t express into words. How you as a normal little person can become part of that wonder, the music. There’s a technical component to it, by practicing a lot I can reach a higher pitch or hold a note better. Those are means. The purpose is something bigger though. There’s this great song on Sinatra at the Sands, 'Don’t Worry About Me', that he introduces as one of the best songs ever. In one part of a verse he sings a step-up note, bigger and bigger, that fills all gaps in the notes just to get to the next step. It’s off, but because of that it’s actually perfectly right. It stands out. That’s why I call magic. That’s what it’s about. Getting completely lost in that feeling and getting to a place where everything is right. Even when it’s not right. Even more so when it’s not right. Then you know it’s right.

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #the car #interview #this was veryyy interesting so many good bits here #2 MINUTES of silence?????????????????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 no fucking way oh my god #''just a car. and that car on the cover in particular'' #''the boys call their children instead of their parents'' 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 oh... #he interviewer threatening to put that limp biskit song as his choice if he didn't give his own vnjdnfjvnjgnjgb #what a power move more interviewers should do that it actually got an answer from him jnfjgngvjbngjbng #but also like #god like. he really is a true Artist with a capital a huh. he talks about music with such reverence and respect #it's so emotive and inspiring to see

[capitalisticveins]

Unempowered Boys Headcanons (Ft Vega, Wampus, Aggro, and Cutie)

Took a bit longer than I thought but I’m still happy with how it turned out

Also I have like 1 personal headcanon that might be based on gender? If you look at it that way? I didn’t want to include it but I did so, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable

PS: Erik refers to Ollie’s listener as “Babe” in March Redactedness, so I did that here too. They’re not to be confused with “Baaabe” (Asher’s listener)

- Guy puts milk before cereal solely to piss off Honey

- Ollie and Babe have matching cat pajamas

- Geordi was a short distance runner for his high school track team. He quit after 3 weeks

- Flyboi! Baby tried to reconnect with Ivan when he was still influenced by Vega, but couldn’t find anything about him online. His number was gone, and so was all of his social media..

- Aaron worked at Walmart for 1 year before quitting on the spot without a 2-week notice

- Geordi was invited to a party in his high school year by Ben. He thinks of it as “one of the most depressing parties I’ve ever been to” in his words

- Ollie would vent to Wampus about his crush on Babe for 2 years before confessing. Wampus was asleep whenever this happened

- Honey was an honor roll student and a part of the college varsity team.

- Guy worked at Max’s Rustic Pizza to afford his tuition, with added bonus money from his parents whenever his paychecks weren’t enough

- Geordi’s only gone to 4 parties, 2 of which were birthday parties in elementary school

- Smartass used to pretend something smelled bad whenever Aaron walked past their cubicle, nothing pissed him off more than when they did that

- Ivan plays Stardew Valley

- Either Geordi and Cutie are the same height, or Cutie is taller by 2+ inches

- Wampus leaves the house through the window whenever neither Babe nor Ollie are home, and gets into another couple’s house and loafs with their cat, or fight them, it’s never clear

- Flyboi! Baby only plays Minecraft on peaceful mode and on 24 hour daylight. It’s too intense to play any other way

- When Cutie first told Geordi they were a telepath, he would put an aluminum foil on his head for a week whenever he wanted 100% privacy. Cutie found it adorable for the wrong reason

- Smartass forgot some stuff on their desk when they quit (a plant, some pictures, post-its, etc), Aaron keeps them on his desk.

- Honey would tutor other students whenever they could.

- Geordi hates FNAF

- Ivan starts getting headaches whenever he sees something about Vesta Distribution online, but he doesn’t know what’s causing it

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby works in Smartass’ old position at Vesta now

- Guy realized Honey was a tutor, and suddenly started being terrible at his English classes. He was assigned to be tutored by Honey, and started silently upper cutting the air when he was told this

- Ollie played Uno once as a teenager. Never again.

- Smartass would demolish Aaron at Monopoly

- Cutie absolutely ADORES Pitbulls

- Babe has 3 pet hamsters that has continuously tried to kill themselves and each other

- Guy proposed the idea of being roommates a few months before Honey finished their final semester, he was scared that when they graduated, they’d drift apart

- When he still had Sadism’s Hold! Baby in captivity, Ivan would want to see if Flyboi! Baby responded to his voicemail, but Vega’s control on him was too much, and he’d forget

- Aaron was one of those kids that would hold 3 chairs to show off to the class in the 2nd grade

- (Personal headcanon) Cutie did cheerleading in high school

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby would rather die than own a pet, commitment isn’t their strong suit, at all.

- Geordi wears dorky glasses, Cutie sometimes steals them and wears it themselves, and then gets a headache

- Guy and Honey went through 5 roommates before just moving in with each other, they only liked 1, but that one moved out.

Taglist: @frenchiefitzhere

#A little over an hour and 15 minutes but thats okay #Redacted ASMR #Redacted Audio #Redacted Honey #Redacted Baby #Redacted Smartass #Redacted Cutie #Redacted Babe #redacted Guy #Redacted Aaron #Redacted Ivan #Redacted Geordi #redacted Ollie #Redacted Wampus #Redacted Aggro #Redacted Vega

[ms-no1kpopstan]

Me or her?

Niki x reader

NOT PROOF READ

synopsis: you set your bff Riki up with Eunchae, one of your friends, on a date.. but what happens when you realise that you might have caught feelings for him along the way. So who will he choose, you or Eunchae?

PART ONE

Nishimura Riki has been your best friend since kindergarten and you don’t remember the last time you went out without him. It was safe to say that you did everything together. You’ve been through crushes, breakups, and all of that stuff together. You were in college now.

And, here you are texting him whether he would like to go on a date with your friend Eunchae. And he said yes. That answer was one you did not expect at all. ‘Okay, sure’ you type into your chat. You already asked Eunchae and she said yes as well. You told them a bit about each other since they'd never met before, just to have a few convo starters and prevent very awkward silences…

It was now the day of their date and you took it upon yourself to find Riki the perfect outfit and damn, did it look good. You chose a black shirt with his favourite anime’s print on it and some baggy blue jeans. It looked perfect. While you sent him off, you actually felt like a proud mom who was watching her son graduate…

You were super happy about this and god, did you hope this went well. He always told you how it always seemed like he pushed girls away when actually he was just trying to get to know them before a relationship. So this was a chance for him to redeem himself and finally get a girl… you couldn’t wait till they got together and you could tell everyone about you playing their Cupid.

Now you just needed to wait until he got back in a few hours.. a few hours without him wouldn’t be that hard, would it?

You got off your bed and made your way to the couch to watch tv but you just couldn’t without him there to watch with you. So you resorted to scrolling through social media with a cup of instant ramen next to you. A FEW HRS LATER

You hear the keys to your apartment jangling and watch as Riki walks in with a big smile on his face

“Phew,” you think “it must have gone well if he’s smiling so much”.

“y/nnie, the date went so well, we talked a lot, shared a bowl of ice cream and we walked around the place for a bit! I hope we could do that again…” he says, happily. “That’s great riks, did you get her number too??”, you ask, excitedly. “Yeah, I did and oh my god she’s so pretty! Like I know you told me she was pretty but she was just more beautiful than I thought!!!!”

“Okay that’s really great ki! And also, wanna watch that new kdrama with me? I’ve been wanting to watch it for a while…” you say with a soft tone towards the end.

“Okay sure Y/nnie! Even I've been wanting to watch that one”

You make some popcorn and sit down next to each other on the couch, your head on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined(in a friendly way of course….)

Physical affection wasn’t something rare in your friendship and that’s why a lot of people thought you two were dating. Well, all you had to say about today was it was a great day! Riki’s date went great, and you were watching a new kdrama with him too! What more could you ask for?

•____________________________________________ A/n End of part one! And also tell me if you want to be added to the taglist. By the way i Don’t have a schedule for updates so it will be a bit irregular! pls interact with the story if you want. Re blogs, comments and likes are appreciated! Hope you liked it! And this is my first series so pls keep that in mind before giving hate comments. Also, rude and judgmental comments will be deleted and blocked. sorry for the long note!

TAGS; @leaderwonim @mandukkul @copyhanni @nikiswifereal27 @stariikis @ad0rechuu @copyhanni @jungkit @rk1stars @rikihqq @wonryllis

DOUBLE UPDATE YAYYYY okay bye!

A/n pt 2 @ms-no1kpopstan’s not yours. Please do not translate, or repost without my permission and it must have my credits if so.

#enhypen nishimura riki #nishimura riki #riki x reader or will it be Riki x Eunchae????? #enhypen #K-pop #First series #yaaayyyyy #niki x reader #riki x reader #enhypen x you #riki x yn #Niki x yn #Riki x reader #Nishimura riki x yn #Idol x reader #Why the hell does autocorrect change reader to trader???? What the heccccc is wrong with it #nobody knows #nobody knows (the kiss of life song hehe) #kiss of life

[jennilah]

so pins are the new about-me pages I guess

let's make one, shall we?

⬇ Click through to learn more about me than you want to! ⬇

Heya! So my name is Jenna.

I am a 3D animator for film and tv. I genuinely adore my job and think I get to make some pretty rad stuff! Once in a while you’ll see me sharing trailers and reels, or just talking about it in general.  You can check out my vfx work in my tag, or on my website.

I’ve been using tumblr since 2011, you are simply not getting rid of me no matter what dumb thing Staff does.

Fandoms

In that time, I have gone through several fandoms and have made so many memories in each one. People may remember when I was big into Supernatural, record-holder as my longest-lasting fandom, as many of us were. I may have since put that part of me in a nice little box with a nice little bow labeled “happy memories,” but I am still thankful to those who have stayed with me ever since. 

I typically get extremely deep into a new fandom every few years. I apologize to people who don’t care to see it, I try to tag it all for your blocking needs! You can see my up-to-date current obsessions labeled in my blog bio! ☝

I am also a shameless, unrelenting shipper so block any of those tags that might bother you too. (I love imagining characters in love, what can I say)

Art Stuff

My drawings tag (all polished art, original and fanart mashed together.)

My doodles tag (non polished sketches, junk drawer of doodles. Things I deem unworthy of my drawing tag.)

Redbubble

Other social media links

Big ole list of other tags to be found here

In addition to my current main fandom, I also have several other interests that I talk about less often but do still come up occasionally. For your reference, intrigue, or blocking needs, here are some of those things:

-Slashers -Godzilla -Undertale / Deltarune -Marvel -Half Life / Portal -Deux Ex -Action and Animated movies in general  -Pokemon -Zelda: Breath of the Wild -Splatoon -My twitch streamers like Jerma, Kitboga, Criken, Charborg, & Wayneradiotv 

Hobbies

I also love playing games and going to the movies. And I also love convention-going! I am not a serious cosplayer by any means, but I do enjoy trying to whip something up based on my current favorite characters. 

I also have a passion for VR! I think it is an incredibly immersive and fun gaming & long-distance social experience. Sometimes I’ll post screenshots from my VRChat adventures!

I also love birds. Like, the animal. They’re so cute and I love trying to identify them. I like the idea of birdwatching but I am too casual to get up early and go to parks. I am an amateur birder if anything!

And I also love tattoos and plants and dinosaurs and penguins and getting high and science and really, really, really stupid memes.

I think thats it.

#jennilargh #personal

[ceilingfan5]

@taznovembercelebration new start

Barry taps his clipboard with his pen, seriously considering treason. It’s not the first time he’s considered it, but every single day he works this project, it’s on his mind. He stares through the one-way glass unblinkingly and seethes, insides writhing in a hideous battle between ethics and duty, right and wrong, career and prison, if he’s lucky. Honestly, he could get sentenced to death. He’s always been a coward, but maybe it would be worth it to go out a hero, in his own way.

Supers, mutants, people with exceptionalities, whatever you want to call them–they have a very different public image from the one behind the curtains. It’s very curated, delicately balanced, managed with a tighter grip than a multi-billion-dollar company’s social media accounts. The devil works hard, but the government and its pals work harder, because the world doesn’t know it can be like this.

The world doesn’t know how strong they can get.

Barry’s spent a lot of time at this facility. He’s seen kids and adults come and go that shook his definition of humanity, of exceptionality, of possibility–he’s lost count of the times he’s gone home and sat in the dark about his day, and had to force himself to come back in the morning. His contract is air tight and has been for a long, long time, and somehow, somehow he’s been able to push through and keep going. Cowardice. Greed, even. The money isn’t worth it, though, not anymore.

It shouldn’t have been worth it for that kid that could bend reality, or the ice one that destroyed their whole town in an avalanche, or the radioactive guy, or the one that exploded last year. It sickens him that he’s justified this much, this long. That all it took to change his mind properly was her.

It’s hard to count her as fully human anymore. The other scientists often refer to her like some kind of thing, and Barry wants to break their noses about it. Looking at her is like staring right into the sun, the fire of ancient furnace that shouldn’t be run anymore, the heart of a train, pushing, pushing, pushing. She can’t stop burning. She’s more spirit than body, if that means anything. Barry never was religious, isn’t much of a spiritualist. He’s a numbers and fists and proof kind of guy. But there she is.

They keep her locked in a bullet proof cell, take her out to run data, research, understand, and they use her powers to fire their machines, to deepen study and all sorts of bullshit Barry has been complicit in for far too long. The sound she makes is a crackling wail, a horrendous screech that shakes him up, body and soul. They always like to tease rehabilitation for the less extreme cases, but this one, they’re just happy to profit from for eternity?

She doesn’t deserve this. They know nothing about her. She was a person, once, even if she is somewhat less than corporeal now.

He watches her, alone in the observation deck, and she thrashes like a solar flare against the walls. Does she never get tired? He’s so tired. He considers the consequences. He considers freedom for the suffering, choice for the the choiceless. He unlocks the door with his key card and enters the room.

The thrashing stops immediately. She plasters her face against the bulletproof glass, yellow eyes fiery and wide. She’s beautiful, in the scariest way possible. They both know he’s not supposed to be down here right now. She’s curious.

He can’t help but talk to her, even if she’s not going to understand. Who knows how conscious she is, in this form. Surely it shouldn’t be possible, but stranger things happen every day.

“Hey,” he murmurs. He puts a hand on the glass, and watches her draw back, nervous. “S’me again. Sorry to bother you.”

She squints at him, and after a long moment, puts her hand on the glass, too. He can feel the warmth even though six inches of the strongest stuff they could find. It makes something flutter in his stomach.

“I’m tryin’a make a good choice here,” he whispers. “But I’ve been a coward my whole life, and this could get me killed. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Why should I get to be comfortable when you’re suffering?”

She tilts her head, and opens her mouth. A screeching wail comes out.

“Yeah,” Barry says, nodding. “Yeah. But–I gotta be honest here–I’m afraid, you know? I don’t think I’ll even be able to get out of the facility. I have a lotta, lotta skills, but speed isn’t among them, you get me?”

She smacks the glass with a fist. He jumps, but he can’t really blame her.

“You’re right,” he decides. “I should get on with it. You’ve been in here too long for me to fuck around.”

He looks at the control panel in front of them, and bits his lip–it clearly requires three different keycards, and he’s only got the one. He could swipe the others, figure something out, but…no, she needs out now, not in some indeterminate time. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and runs his hands over the panels.

He can hear her pound on the glass again, but he’s busy focusing. He doesn’t use his powers very often–he’s not even registered. But even unpracticed, they’re still strong. His consciousness rockets through the computer, unlocking everything in sight, and he pushes his will hard enough to feel a pop-

And every lock in the sector opens at once.

“Whew,” he says, opening his eyes. She looks at him, uncertain, and he nods at her, smiles. Winks, even. Cheeky. She pounds against the door, and it swings open, and she rockets out–a blur of light and crackling fire. She cackles and circles the room rapidly, a dizzying display that charms him completely.

“Go!” he tells her, urgent. “They’ll be here any minute, you’ve got to get out of here!”

She cocks her head and slows to a stop, hovering, sputtering and sizzling. She’s blindingly bright up close, but there’s so much expression on her face. He knows for certain he did the right thing.

“T̶̟̾̉ḧ̴̯̬͝á̷͓̉n̵̛͖̑k̵̪̊ṡ̷̟͋.̷̣̜̀̕” It’s the first time any of them have heard her communicate, and Barry is flabbergasted. It looks difficult to make words with pure fire.

“You’re welcome.” He smiles, still nervous. He can feel the heat radiating off of her. “Go, though. I want you to find somewhere safe.”

She squints at him. Barry hears the siren kick off, and he winces. He thought he’d gotten it.

“Fuck,” he says. “I hope- I hope you’ll be okay.”

She points at him.

“I know, I- I’ll be alright,” he lies.

She points at him more aggressively, and a spark of flame ignites his tie. Her eyes widen, and she tries to stop the flame, but he has to rip off the tie and stomp on it to cut it out. He’s flushed. Because of the fire, and for no other reason. Surely.

She bounces in the air, anxiously looking at the hallway, and Barry is just about to shoo her again when she grabs him by his jacket and FLIES down the hallway, the posters on the walls igniting behind her. Barry yelps, feeling the flame lick at his clothes, threatening to burn him, but she’s fast, and they zip out of the entire facility faster than a wildfire consuming a whole forest.

She drops him in the grass outside of the facility and he stops, drops, and rolls, his clothes coming off him in burnt tatters, and she laughs at him, her screechy, crackly laugh, and he blushes, surprised by how beautiful she is when she’s happy.

“We should go,” he says, dazed. “They’ll be after us.” Us! He’s never been an us before. Shame he had to become a fugitive to do it.

#fan5fics #taz #tazb #taz balance #taz b #blupjeans #this is weird. this is a weird one.

[switchcase]

Do you think the rise in people claiming to have experienced RAMCOA is more based in it being discussed therefore recognized more? Or are we seeing it starting to become some sort of buzzword/“trendy” thing to claim (for lack of a better term). Is it that people are using the term too loosely and watering it down? I’ve just seen a huge uptick in the usage of the term in the past ~year and was wondering what your opinion was.

So there's a lot of factors going on in this. I would say most of it is not malicious or consciously done. Unfortunately, sometimes the lack of malicious intent doesn't stop actions from harming others.

The ONLY thing I would say that is not a factor at all is actually how much the topic is talked about. Survivors have always been talking about this stuff and it's not really more or less recognized. The difference is just that the term "RAMCOA" is used more often. As opposed to trafficking, as opposed to war survivor, as opposed to torture survivor, etc.

1) The biggest one is simply not understanding what RAMCOA is in the first place. To your point of watering down, people seem to not be cognizant of how TBMC especially is conducted and believe things like indoctrination is TBMC when it is not. Thinking that religious abuse automatically equals RA/OA, equating religions/cults in general with RA, stuff like that. Also going to toss in a grave misunderstanding of dissociative disorders in general here.

2) Commodification of mental illnesses in general in social media spaces, where the more "out there" stuff gets more attention.

3) Validity culture and trying to have it the worst to feel "valid" and/or as social currency in frankly unhealthy social environments. Most survivors do not feel that their trauma is "enough", regardless of what trauma they survived, and sometimes this plays out like survivors seeking other "worse" traumas that they believe they MUST have gone through to be this way. This goes back into point 2 also--people used to talk about how they felt bad that they "only" had PTSD and not DID because DID was thought to be the "worst" trauma disorder, and now that a lot of people say they have DID, they've moved on to picking into trauma types instead. In certain social spaces, labels act as social currency. If you have x experience or are y identity then you may speak on the subject and noone is allowed to question you. There's nuance to this of course because lived experience blah blah but it boils down to *some* people seeing this as a way to gain control over social spaces, feel in power, and feel as if they have some authority. So they collect these labels and identities as a way to harbor social power, and for some of these people they will seek out the more uncommon/rare stuff because it guarantees them a level of power rather than being one voice in a sea of a more "common" label.

3a) On a race front because I'm brown and unfortunately can't close my eyes to the racial aspect of these things. For the sake of time I'm being short about this, there are much more eloquently worded discussions on these things that are much more in depth, but: white people often use identities and labels as a way to distance themselves from whiteness as a way to prove that they do not benefit or at least do not benefit "as much" from white supremacy. And white women specifically historically and currently have a fascination with victimhood as a way of distancing themselves from white men and maintaining their own image as helpless in the face of racial violence.

4) Sadly part of the "just because it's not malicious doesn't make it not harmful" effect is from the trend of pathologizing any/all behaviors and reactions. I've had people tell me that they were in some server or got a DM from someone who just outright told them that they were a survivor completely unprompted. People think that being triggered by RAMCOA related topics equates to having survived it in some way when the reality is it is simply an unsettling and triggering topic. I've seen people say that because they have an unhealthy relationship to sex currently that they must be a CSA survivor. Things like that where people jump to conclusions based on very little information because of a behavior or reaction they had.

4a) Social influence. Someone is friends with a survivor and they begin to fear that they may be a survivor themselves, for any reason ranging from not remembering their own stuff, relating to the friend, they are really suggestible or have psychosis symptoms, etc. Usually this one is pretty brief though.

5) There is a current cultural fascination with trauma in the west. The reality is that the vast majority of people HAVE or WILL experience a traumatic event at least once in their life. Most people statistically will not develop any long term post traumatic symptoms from it. There is nothing inherently wrong with talking about these things, but there is a way that western society currently engages with trauma that is extremely Freudian and rather useless to everyone involved. This goes hand in hand too with commodification of mental health. Honestly, I wouldn't say the people who are complaining about the coming rise of a second "satanic panic" are completely incorrect, just that their takes are very focused in discrediting individual survivors as "liars" and "outrageous" rather than looking at an overall societal issue.

Those are all the ones I could think of off the top of my head, I'm probably overlooking some stuff but it is a Saturday night in my defense.

#ask #anonymous #ramcoa

[michellemisfit]

It’s Tag Game Tuesday tiiiiime 🙌

Thank you Macy for creating this fun for us all! Thanks for the tag @celestialmickey @energievie @deedala @lingy910y @juliakayyy

Name: Michelle

When is your birthday? 1st March

Favourite social media platform outside of tumblr? These days? Gosh, I guess Instagram, even though I always forget it exists, because everything else has gone to the dogs. And I guess Facebook which I basically just use as a photo album for myself.

Do you wear make up? The basic foundation/contour/concealer stuff bores me. And I can’t wear lipstick. But I have fun with eye shadow. This isn’t going out make up, by the by. I farm in this lol

Favourite board game? I love Scrabble and Taboo. Ruth and I clean up at Taboo!!

Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Loads. Many of them dragons.

Which of the seven deadly sins would you say you struggle with the most? Gluttony? I’m like the most susceptible human being. You could say I'm a Level 7 susceptible! So like… someone mentions the word pizza and I immediately want pizza. Or someone on TV eats a piece of chocolate and I want chocolate right that minute. Every time I watch The Bear I’ve had this unbelievable craving for doughnuts. I don’t even like doughnuts!! But it just won’t go away until I buy one, have a bite or two, and go ‘Oh yeah, I don’t really like this…’ ::facepalm::

Best vacation you’ve ever been on? I loved loved loved the two week @f-f-podcast Arthurian road trip through Wales. That was amazing!!

How do you get around town? Bus & Tube mostly. Sometimes train. Sometimes Docklands Light Railway. But all around… public transport.

Describe your vibe in three words: Resourceful. Funny. Approachable.

Swiss Magpie Fairy

Share a song rec:

That was fun! If you fancy playing I would like to tag @mikhailoisbaby @whatthebodygraspsnot @vintagelacerosette @crossmydna @captainjowl @creepkinginc @rereadanon @too-schoolforcool @tsuga-of-mars @thepupperino @harrowhark-a-vagrant @ian-galagher @palepinkgoat @hellofavillain @faejilly @look-i-love-u @rainbowbri @callivich @francesrose3

#tag game #tag game tuesday #Mys stuff #Mys face #meme

[destinyc1020]

I definitely resonate with z decision to scale back on her socials. As a literal childhood fan I feel like once I hit my late teens I myself found it consuming to post every aspect of my life up for judgement. Especially during the shift of homecoming - ffh content over the years. I’m not gonna lie and say I miss her online presence at times but the woman is pushing 30 so she gotta get in her grown woman business LMFAO🤣.

Also I’ve been enjoying your posts a lot lately too since coming back from your hiatus. If you see this thanks for being one of my favorite blogs for 2023 !!! 🤍

Yea girl, I feel you on that! I myself scaled back significantly on social media ever since the pandemic hit, and I haven't gone back. I just found posting every aspect of my life after that kind of silly and honestly(?), a bit depressing....especially during the pandemic lockdown. Posting a bunch of stuff on social media just seemed so futile and honestly a bit frivolous compared to the other things we were all going through in 2020. 😔

I still haven't returned back to my pre-pandemic posting habits on social media.

Also I’ve been enjoying your posts a lot lately too since coming back from your hiatus. If you see this thanks for being one of my favorite blogs for 2023 !!! 🤍

Awww, aren't you sweet! 🥹 Thanks so much for the kind words! I really appreciate it. I hope you checked out and completed my recently posted poll/survey! 🥰