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dallonm-archive · 3 years

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TABBY | SHORT STORY UPDATES #4

In Tabby, a reclusive man who’d rather exist as a phantom than a human notices the neighbours aren’t feeding their cat, and is sucked into a world that breaks the stillness of his own.

Genre: literary fiction, “soft” noir (??)

POV: 1st person present, very observational and detached for most of the narrative

Setting: late 1940s/early 1950s, unnamed US city but implied to be Los Angeles

Atmosphere: a summer that’s sickly, orange juice, the smell of paint, shaky hands, peach skies, sunflowers, blood splatter, a cats purr, the gut feeling that something is very, very wrong

Literal Logline: this cat is my friend and he doesn’t judge me over silly little things like the murder i just committed (also i think he might be god??)

Hi I wrote a story about a cat and got way too into it and accidentally made it about murder and now it might be my favourite thing I’ve written! Lets talk about it! cw for murder and blood imagery!

general taglist ; @kowlazovdi @avi-burton-writing @ryns-ramblings @melpomeny @kitblogsthings @ezrathings @aetherwrites @bookphobe @haldimilks @alicewestwater @bookpacking @shaelinwrites @writingamongthecoloredroses @harehearts @zemnian @onlyganymede @theelectricfactory @write-like-babs @oceancold @notphilosopherstudentblog @veiliza @sidhewrites @wolf-oak @feverdreamwritings @oasis-of-you

This entire story sparked from this photo, which I couldn’t find a specific source for, but is cute and a Mood nonetheless!

My thought process was essentially “man sits on bench with cat...........and also.......murder?” I don’t know why my brain is like this!!!

I imagine this story being set in the late 40s/early 50s, but haven’t pinpointed exactly, in a suburb of Los Angeles (but this also isn’t clear in the story as of now). This used to be my go to setting when I was really into noir, and it was fun to return to that in a non-noir piece! This started out as purely literary, but now I do see some noir elements here. They’re just very subtle - nor was I intentionally trying to capture any - and the story misses some of the fundamental conventions. To me it’s almost like...soft noir? Noir lite?? I feel like it’s inherently noir and inherently not noir at the same time but I love the vibes of it a lot. There’s this “glow” to the story that I can’t exactly put into words, like a very subtle golden hour that is very tranquil and strangely undisturbed by the general chaos going on in the actual story

I took this setting, the vibes, and the idea of a character with an innate connection to this cat, plus a murder chucked somewhere in the middle and ran with it.

I wrote this over the course of a couple days, and it came very naturally! The prose is a little more sparse than my usual writing which made the process much quicker, and I’m really into this style at the moment. A lot of it is also internal thought, which y’all know is right up my alley. I really, really love the voice in this. It starts very unremarkable, but there is an unsettling undercurrent that grows and grows and it’s been very fun to blend the mundane and the creepy. This story really reignited my drive for short fiction because the trend lately has been coming up with an idea I love that just doesn’t translate on paper, but this one despite needing a good deal of work was very smooth!

I’d say this is my first successful attempt at a nameless/faceless character and it’s one of the most interesting experiences of character development I’ve had in a long time?? The only other time I’ve done this is in my story Rinse Cycle, but the narrator never really felt much like a character (which is very unusual for me), whereas the narrator in Tabby feels as fleshed out and nuanced as any of my characters with names or faces. I rarely focus on appearances for short story characters anyway, but I’ve never struggled with finding a name for a character and this narrator just Does Not want to be named. But I think that really fits him! He likes to be invisible and drift through life unnoticed, where he is merely an observer rather than a participant; so when he does get chucked into the middle of a very messy, very chaotic situation he essentially shuts down. I really like the tonal shift this creates where we go from a very detached narrative to very in the moment, very vivid and intense, like we go from 0 to 100 real quick. I don’t want to share a lot of plot details (which makes writing this a little frustrating sigh), but it ends with him committing a murder that, whilst intentional in the moment, is entirely impulsive and practically out of his control. He is not a natural killer and goes from barely being an emotional participant in his life to fully immersed in the moment and absolutely terrified by that. I’m really looking forward to digging deeper into his psychological state as I work on this draft because Boy We Don’t Have Time To Unpack All This. A quick summary of him would be though

people watcher, picks up more than he realises

living in a house he inherited from his dead father

made eye contact with a stranger and it was physically painful

quietly unhinged

doesn’t feel like he’s a person

oh no, now i have to face the consequences of my actions!

I’m trying to limit the amount of excerpts I post when it comes to short stories [because I am always basing the value of my content on prose I share which is! not healthy!], so the only writing I’m going to share is this little description that’s not very plot relevant, but is a good demonstration of this narrator’s funky little voice:

Every morning, at seven sharp, I routinely sit on the swinging bench behind my house to eat over easy eggs and burnt sausages. I still don’t understand how to cook meat. Behind me, cars murmur and sputter into the city, housewives chatter from their separate square gardens and I do not exist in the same reality as them. I am boxed in by off-white picket fence. The fence dividing my neighbours and I – a saffron coloured house with sunflowers bordering the perimeter – is painted pinkish red like an infected tongue. Every morning, I routinely think, that I do not know what’s stranger: how the red jolts the sun house’s otherwise harmonious existence, or the way the job was never finished. It’s not as if the painter died, because if the painter died there would be a corpse; perhaps blood spatter would darken against red wood, perhaps paint would pool out of the dropped can and mimic the presence of an exit wound.

Y’all might be wondering, where does the cat fit in all of this? And the answer is it’s complicated! In terms of form, we bounce between observations/interactions of the cats behaviour and the “main plot” of the story - which is to do with the rather unhinged new neighbours disrupting our neighbours unremarkable life. Thematically, the cat definitely symbolises a lot of things and opens up a lot of conversations that I still haven’t polished because well, we’re on draft one and I was focused on some funky Cat Descriptions. Some fun ideas include the distinction between human and animal, how capitalism is impeding on our chances to live a fulfilled life, and the idea that all humans do is overcomplicate everything. It’s presence also acts as a grounding technique for the narrator, since he so easily detaches himself from the rest of the world. The writing started with a scene of the act killing a mouse and how clean and simple it all is that I’m lowkey obsessed with, and is definitely some non-subtle foreshadowing for what comes later.

I like to joke that the cat is God because sometimes the narrator says some weird shit like, how the Earth stops orbiting the sun when the cat goes to sleep and how the cat doesn’t need to worry about predators because it hasn’t invented any. So the cat is not officially “God” but like,...,,It Might Be

Quickly adding this to the end but! Your girl finally has a (working title) for her collection! I’m not ready to share it yet because I’m still not 100% on it, I feel it matches the stories thematically but not always tonally, however it captures the core idea that I’ve been following so it’s good enough for me. This was a really important step because as much as I tried I could Not Visualise a collection at all without a title, which is v annoying because titling a collection is the worst!!! I was fine just writing short stories and letting them exist but I really wanted to build them as a cohesive collection as I went, and now I really like where it’s going - it’s definitely got a long way to go but I feel like I’ve finally managed to take control of it and steer it into a direction that reflects what I enjoy to write. I spent a lot of months clinging onto the collection I started in late 2018 before The Great Writing Hiatus Of 2019, even though it really didn’t resonate with me anymore, so I’m very happy to feel like I’m now on the right path and I feel the collection really shows my growth as a writer this year! This is definitely not set in stone, but I have a lot of fun imagining the potential order of the stories and right now it looks like:

[Some of these are stories unfinished, and some of them are finished and I just haven’t talked about them because I am the Worst at remembering to write short story updates, but tbh I’m thinking of just talking about them all briefly in a big post about the collection when I write a proper intro for it in the future]

We love to see it! I’m hoping to put a lot of time into this collection in 2021 and get some submissions rolling too (I had the goal of submitting at least one story by the end of this year and I! Don’t know if that’ll happen but January definitely). I’m likely going to be taking most of the year out of uni due to the whole global and mental turmoil rn [also I’d have to apply for writing masters atm and that is NOT happening lmfao], so I’m v v excited to have some extra writing time and see where this all goes!

#atlastracking #am writing #short stories #writeblr #i am once again posting at an odd time when my dash is ~dead~#also playing around w how i format these posts as always

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rimmers-swimming-certificate · 4 years

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The Red Dwarf 30-Day Challenge!

Day 18 - Favourite Series 7 episode

I’m going to do something unexpected here and not go for Blue.

I’ll admit, series seven if not my favourite, I think it suffered greatly from losing Chris Barrie for most of the series, and I just don’t think Kochanski was good enough as a replacement for Rimmer. Having said that though, I do enjoy most of it, just not as much as I enjoy some of the other seasons. (This is going to be an issue for series eight too, unfortunately, but moreso)

Having said that I’m actually going to go for an episode that doesn’t have Rimmer in it, because I’ve always enjoyed the two-parter that is Epideme and Nanarchy. It’s cheating to choose two episodes though, so I’m going to go with Nanarchy.

It’s just one of the ones that’s always stuck in my head, for some reason. I don’t know if it was deliberate to have Lister lose the arm that his future echo was missing way back in series one, probably not, but it still made me feel like it was referring back to the early series and I liked that.

I dunno though, I think the main reason I like this one is that of all the things that have happened to the Red Dwarf crew over the years, this is one of the only ones that’s real. It’s not being dead, or being stranded three million years from home, it’s not traveling to a parallel universe and meeting your female equivalent, or encountering another version of yourself who is everything you ever wanted to be. It’s not an emotion slurping alien, or a machine that can turn a mechanoid into a human and back again (or a man into a chicken). It’s not a time travelling droid intent on wiping people from history, or a squid who can make you think you’re Duane Dibbley or the leader of some fascist totalitarian state.

This Lister having to deal with something that can and does actually happen to real people, and although it’s completely possible to relate back a lot of the things that happens in Red Dwarf to equivalent things in real life, something so actually real and human is rare, and I think that’s what I like about this episode. The way everyone reacts feels real; how terribly they handle it. Kryten in particular is terrible with his biscuit dunking and his twenty four hour wipe alert and basically treating Lister like he’s a baby and reinforcing the feelings of helplessness. Cat is... well, he’s Cat. He tries to help and much like Kryten ends up doing the opposite. Kochanski’s actually the best of a bad lot really

I also love that scene with the terrible prosthetic arm Kryten fits Lister with, the one that would either need him to take a morning off in order to pick up a ball, or that, fuelled by Lister’s subconscious anger, would punch Kryten in the head, with absolutely no middle ground there at all. I also like, though it’s only a little thing, the casual mention of Rimmer in that scene. It’s nice that even in the episodes he’s not in and that don’t focus on him not being there, he’s still on Lister’s mind (even if he is just insulting him!)

I do think it’s a shame it was resolved so quickly though. I’m rarely a fan of the miracle cure for a disability that you often get in science fiction, not that I’d have wanted Lister to stay armless for the next twenty years or so, I just wish this had happened a little earlier in the series and there could have been one episode in between where Lister’s missing an arm and just kinda... getting on with it, you know? So that it’s secondary to the actual story. A few minor references to it, maybe him not being able to do something and someone else helping him out without making a big thing of it, and then they could find the nanos. Not that that would ever happen I know, it’s not that kind of a show.

I also wish it could have happened when Rimmer was there, because I’d have loved to have seen that conversation. I stuck a version of it in a fic I wrote, but after the fact, Rimmer telling Lister to stop complaining. he’s still got one arm that works fine, while Rimmer didn’t have any arms at all for six years.

I also like that Holly comes back in this one. I missed him!

Anyway, that got long. I only meant to write a paragraph or so.

#red dwarf #rd30days #nanarchy #dave lister

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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years

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Dad! Kang Daniel A-Z

So I see a lot of those NSFW A-Z’s of idols and decided to try something different and do Dad! Daniel A-Z. I hope you like this, it was a bit of fun for the afternoon! These are just my thoughts, not what I expect Daniel to do in the future lol!

I’m open to writing actual Dad! Daniel fictions in the future too, if you’d like something more than scenario based!

AFFECTION

Daniel is very affectionate with his children. He loves cuddling with them, and was sad when the older girls started to grow out of enjoying his hugs constantly. He loved the feeling of being their security blanket, and relishes it whenever they let him now.

BIRTH

He was there throughout every birth. He couldn’t imagine letting you go through it all alone. Anything you needed, he got you. The type to come with a bag of snacks that he knows you like, but eats them himself because he’s grown nervous. After the first child he had a little more understanding of what was going to happen, but since each delivery was different, he would still find himself questioning how to be your biggest support. Wanted to cut the umbilical cord of your first child but felt too hesitant. Definitely did it for the others.

CONSISTENCY

Daniel is mostly consistent and follows through with your mutual parenting regime. If he’s really tired he’s most likely to give in then, and so you try your best to make sure he isn’t left alone when in that state - after your daughter convinced him to buy her the expensive doll house you had told her she couldn’t get, you weren’t prepared to take any further chances.

DAD SKILLS

Understanding how to communicate well with each of your children depending on their age and stage. Changes his language to suit their needs and all your children have always felt at ease because communication for needs and wants flows easily.

EDUCATION

Hands on approach more so than with books. Likes to set up fun experiments in the weekends to teach and play with. Very interested in sports and helps his children with them. Likes being involved in the school as much as he can and fosters a program for performance. Your children that are in school are all pretty well known because of their Dad and are very proud to point out their Dad whenever they see him at school too.

FUN

Has almost as much fun playing with some of the toys and activities as your kids do. Is known as the fun Dad within the neighbourhood and at school. The type to not batter an eye through an intense pretend tea party with the girls, and gets really into eating all that yummy pretend cake that it makes you laugh.

GETTING THROUGH PREGNANCY

Daniel was always supportive. The type to get up and buy you the thing you’re craving at 3am even if he’s just rolled into bed an hour ago. Was always worried when you suffered from morning sickness, even after the first born. Went to every scan and read pregnancy books with you in preparation. Knew when to comply and challenge your hormonal behaviours well.

HOW MANY

Four. You wanted two, he wanted three, somehow you ended up with an extra. Three girls and a boy. Whilst Daniel was thankful for his son to not outnumber him alone, he loves raising little girls and is pretty chuffed to be known as the Daughter-Daddy within your group of friends. Does a lot of rough and tough with his son, after years of tea-parties, he’s all too happy to have a son to experience new adventures with.

INTIMACY

Despite having children, your intimacy is still pretty decent. The kids groan cheekily whenever they see you both kiss, but hugging is constantly something Daniel does with you regardless. The kids all love it, snuggling up for movie night is a family favourite.

Your sex life isn’t as active as it once was, about 1-2 times a week. Which when you think about it, with four kids, it’s pretty great to be that active still!

JOB

Daniel’s idol life continued through the first baby, but after that he opted to run his own company, helping train idols with the knowledge that he gained through a very successful career. He still managed to do spot performances with WANNA ONE for anniversaries, and with his fellow MMO members, but he knew with four kids, and his age, he needed to find something more stable and city-based. His schedule was still packed, but he ensured he made time in it for activities with his family too.

KID FREE TIMES

You both made a point to have date night every fortnight where you went out for the night. Admittedly you both messed up in the beginning, still talking about the kids, but after setting the rule not to discuss anything parenting wise, your date nights became something you both looked forward to a lot.

Whenever the kids were in bed and you both were home you’d just cuddle up and catch up with each other and waking up in the morning without a kid(s) in between you was rare, but very well received (and an easy way to get in one of those more intimate sessions – normally quickly with the thrill of getting it out of the way before being disturbed to start the daily grind, hah!)

You were both looking forward to the times where your kids could go on camp, but it was a wee way off to have all four out at the same time.

LIMITS

Since he works with large groups of young people every day, loudness is never a problem for Daniel. Nor is bustling activity, because he could just lay there and supervise if he was feeling a little tired. However what he couldn’t handle was the children fighting. He literally struggled with seeing them argue or physically hit each other, it really got under his skin. He would come down on them all pretty hard then, almost regretting it as soon as his harsh words left his mouth. He would often feel pretty low after it too, turning to you for support and building himself back up as a parent.

He also found the department store with four kids all wanting this that and another thing as well; all too overwhelming and either buy them everything or nothing at all to deal with the environmental chaos.

MUM ONLY

Daniel was pretty hands on with most things, but the one thing he couldn’t deal with is sickness. If one of the kids was sick, he panicked so much that your calm and collected approach was the one chosen in the end. He’d always flitter outside the door worriedly asking you how they are every few moments, and when your second daughter broke her arm falling off her bike he was an absolute wreck. He really is emotional for his kids. Funny thing, he could take very good care of you if you’re sick. Which with four kids, when it made its rounds, you were very grateful you had him for nursing you back to health.

NUTRITION

Loves making meals for his family with you. As a unit you’re both big on meal prep. Looked up good healthy kids snacks and most of the time insists on them. But also the type to blow their entire diet and throw them on a sugar high at least once a month as a treat. Uses ice-cream as a bribery tactic often. When your eldest daughter had her first dental check and had early tooth decay signs in one of her baby teeth (lol), Daniel insisted on a month long stringent of eating well, until the tooth fell out and he realised that brushing twice a day and eating well in moderation was better than preventing pretend cake at the tea parties. The girls had been very anti-Daddy during that stage.

OUTER VILLAGE

Very close with Seongwoo’s, Jisung’s and Minhyun’s families especially and every summer would organise a vacation together. Would turn to Minhyun for a lot of parenting advice, even when you were the first out of the group to give birth. Good thing Minhyun’s full of sound knowledge!

PETS

You still have three cats and although he wanted more, it was hard for Daniel to share his cats with his kids. They would pull their tails and Daniel would just about dive on them to protect them. Spent a lot of time teaching the children the importance of respecting animals. Takes them to petting zoos often whenever he feels like there’s just not enough paws at home. Tried to convince you along with your third daughter that another cat would match the number of kids, but you didn’t buy into it so three it remains.

QUALITY TIME

Despite his schedule, Daniel insists on quality one on one time with his children. He takes each girl on a Daddy date which they all love, and often goes out with your son to play. Tries to read to each child before bed in the weekends, though your eldest now reads to him and puts him to sleep instead, oops.

REPRIMANDING

Daniel isn’t the type to like telling your children off. He’d rather negotiate and find a happy medium than scold and take things from them. He’s a sucker for their tears too, but overall if he has to; he will give them consequences and will stick to them too. Usually the harshest when he finds them physically pushing one another around, and he really has no time for disrespect in his household.

SPOILED?

Yep. The “perks” of raising three princesses means they all have princess rooms and all the things they generally wanted, except the knight in shining armour (Daniel is not prepared for this stage and often worries about it even though your eldest is only seven lol). His son has the latest games, a bunch of bikes and skateboards and the backyard is full of play equipment to entertain them for hours. The type to think of his children (and you) and buy little gifts whenever he travels. Hates when you purge the toy room as much as the kids do. He tries to be modest but the fact is, the kids have him whipped, sigh.

TECHNOLOGY

Prefers your kids to have fresh air and exercise over being in front of devices. You mirror these thoughts and were very conscious about how much time they got in front of technology. Is freaking out about when puberty hits, since your eldest is already asking for her first phone.

UNCLE

Known also as the fun uncle. Invites all the kids over in the weekend and lets them play on all the fun things at your house. Believes in child play being the best time of your lives and really instils this in all children he crosses paths with. Sungwoon is always whining to you that his son loves Daniel more than him. Comes up with crazy over the top children days with Jaehwan and you’ve given up trying to calm them down.

VALUES

Believes a family that talks about how much they love each other is the type to have a good constant flow of communication. And so he always makes sure everyone is talking well to each other, and it’s why he gets so upset when the children pick on each other.

WHAT CHANGED MOST

You wonder where your homebody of a husband went, but having kids truly made him want to make life as magical as he could for them. Even though he loved staying home, he’d always be pottering around the house doing something with them. It was somewhat a plus, because it meant you could do your own things when he was home, and allowed you some much needed me-time, but the change could still throw you off some days.

X-FACTOR (TALENTS)

Was very into seeing what talents your children would have early on and supporting it immediately. Your kids had gone through various hobbies like they had their underwear at times, but eventually you found that your eldest loved dance, your second child was in gymnastics, third loved horse riding, and your son was playing soccer and hockey. Daniel was very attentive to any need they had for pursuing their interests and was a very proud Dad with all their achievements.

YEARNING

Daniel’s life dream from here is almost complete. He’d love to move to the country one day, to let your children run free, but he likes the city life too, knowing how accessible it is for good education and amenities. Admittedly he’s happy with his four kids, but now and then, especially since Daehwi’s got his first kid on the way, Daniel can’t help but envision you pregnant again, he loved rubbing at your baby bump whenever you were pregnant.

ZZZs (SLEEP)

The kids’ bedtime starts at 7pm and the older two have until 8pm which is generally the busiest time of the night, considering it’s you putting all of them to bed alone because Daniel’s still at work. You have a routine in place which thankfully works, and you’re able to get a few hours peace to yourself until bed around midnight. Daniel is generally home around 10pm. In the weekends you both aim to sleep in, but due to poor sleep schedules from being an idol, Daniel still rises to his current schedule. Which is great because weekend cartoons with the kids is one of his favourite morning pastimes.

#kang daniel #wanna one #wannaonenetwork #wanna one daniel #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #wanna one dad #kang daniel imagines #kang daniel scenarios #dad! kang daniel #kang daniel au #wanna one au #prettywordsyouleft requested

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getalittlecountry · 7 years

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First Time Again (4)

okay so this beast was spilt a few times. So you’ll have to be held over with this GIANT chapter that was super fun to write. I cannot wait for their journey to evolve. Gosh I just love Nesta and Cassian so much.

One Two Three

Chapter 4

"So I haven't met everyone yet, but uncle Luc promised they wouldn't terrorize you. They just really want to know you," Cassian tried to ease my apprehension as we walked down my road, "I promise I won't let them get to be too much. I won't let them take you from my side."

I nodded, "thanks. I just don't like meeting new people. I don't think I ever met your uncle."

Cassian smiled, "I remember sweetheart. Don't worry I'll be the buffer."

I bit my lip as we turned towards the center of town. "So your dad. You're going to talk to him today?"

"I decided last night it wasn't entirely his fault that I got sent away. It was my mom's and he did try to find me. So I'll give him a chance. Especially because I need to understand whatever it is this is. I need him to uh. Guide me in learning how to take it slow with you."

I blushed, "yeah. It's like the only thing I can think about when we're together."

We were both embarrassed and yet totally at ease with how much we needed each other. I couldn't believe how much I craved Cassian even though we barely knew this version of ourselves. I mean twenty two year old Cassian was a hell of a lot different than seven year old Cassian. And yet I still felt like I knew him. Like he had been in my life for so long I didn't need to wonder if he would walk away from me.

I had never felt so safe, so cared for before.

"What's your favorite color?" He asked softly, his hand finding mine.

I laughed, wondering why he didn't just try and figure it out. I knew there was something in the bond that let him inside of my head. And whatever that was it was getting stronger. At least for him.

"I want to hear you tell me," he answered, his smile crooked.

"Green," I whispered softly, "like the green grass in the summer. Or the leaves before they turn in the fall. What about you?"

"Blue," he smiled, "steel blue like the eyes of the girl I had to leave behind."

I blushed slightly then changed the subject. He was so different from seven year old Cassian and yet some things were exactly the same, "favorite movie?"

"I didn't watch a lot of movies growing up. I guess I'd say Jaws?"

I laughed, "we watched that when we were six and it scared me senseless. I refused to go into any body of water. And then you thought it would be funny to push me in!

Cassian laughed along with me, "I know and you were the cutest scaredy cat I ever did see. What about you?"

"I guess I'd say Sweet Home Alabama. Do you like to read?"

"I read everything. Fantasy, science fiction, medical books. I have read so many books traveling because they're easy to carry, easy to give away."

"So what's your favorite?"

"Well fiction wise, On the Road. But fantasy wise? I'd say The Hobbit. You? I remember little Nesta teaching her sisters to read. Or at least trying."

I laughed, that had been an endeavor. "I love fantasy. Anything that gets me out of this world and into another. My list of favorites is too long to share."

"Give me one."

"Rebel of the Sands. It's kinda like a play on Aladdin."

"A girl after my own heart," he pulled me closer, as if he needed to fit me into him, "I'm really glad it's you. I mean. I don't think anyone else would be so understanding. So at ease with this new life they've been handed."

I chewed the inside of my lip, "well I mean. I'm a little nervous because of my sisters. I've never had to hide anything like this from them. But I know I can't tell them and I don't like that. But I don't want to put you in danger either. It's just. Hard."

Cassian pressed his lips against my temple, "I know. But it will get easier."

I swallowed the lump on my throat, "yeah I know. Feyre is leaving for school soon and Elain has been looking for somewhere she fits. I have a feeling it isn't with me anymore. She needs to get out and see the world, we all do."

"That means you did a good job. You raised them to know they could always come home. But they're also free to spread their wings. You don't have to be responsible for them anymore Nesta."

Tears filled my eyes, "I don't remember who I was before I had to take care of them. It terrifies me Cass, to know I don't have a purpose, I don't have to keep up with my sisters now. I don't... I'm not sure what to do."

He pulled me to a stop right outside of his uncles house. He framed my face with his big hands and leaned in close. His lips were so close to mine I swore he was about to kiss me. My heart hammered inside my chest, his doing the same. But his eyes held mine and I felt his determination seep into me.

"You are strong. You are your own person. Nesta you gave up fifteen years of your life for your younger siblings. And now it's your turn to be selfish, your turn to find your way. And now you've got me again. I won't let you fall. I won't let you forget who you are. I promise."

I leaned into him, my forehead touching his, "I know. It's just a lot. My emotions are everywhere ever since this bond, imprint, since you came back. You probably think I'm a mess."

He laughed, "no sweetheart. I think you're beautiful."

He kissed my forehead as I sighed, "stop being so perfect."

I stuck my tongue out at him before he pulled away and then laced his fingers through mine. He took in a deep breath and then so did I.

"Everyone is out back. They're dying to meet you," he pulled me through the house and I stayed close to his back when I saw Tomas. He was glaring, watching us. Cassian held my hand tighter when he felt the spike in my heart.

"I will never understand why he's obsessed with me," I whispered as we got to the back door.

"Well I have a few guesses," Cassian spun around and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear, "alright pretty girl. They're going to be loud and ask you a lot of questions. Are you ready?"

"Just don't let go of my hand," I whispered softly, "please."

"I will never let go of your hand," he smiled and then leaned in, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I was startled, for a moment wishing he would just kiss me already. When he pulled back he laughed, his eyes glancing down to my lips and then back up again. The door opened and our moment was lost.

"Cassian! Please don't hog all the time with our newest addition. Bring her out here," lucien's voice was sickly sweet and I blushed as Cassian pulled me closer, away from his uncles hands, "you two have all the time in the world to be together. Let us get to know our new girl."

"I was getting there uncle Luc."

I stayed against his side as everyone turned to look at us. I didn't even know how many pairs of eyes were suddenly staring at me, but my hands started to shake. I hated big crowds. I hate being the center of attention, especially in a room full of people I didn't know.

"Oh my gosh," a blonde girl came sauntering forward, "she's the cutest thing. I'm Morrgian. But everyone calls me Mor. I'm the long lost other cousin."

She touched my hair and I blushed. She was gorgeous. As if she had been carved by angels herself. She looked like someone worthy of Cassian, someone more beautiful than me. Cassian squeezed me tighter and shook his head, answering the thoughts I hadn't voiced.

Someone pulled Cassian’s attention away as Mor continued to stare at me. Her smile was beautiful, she was radiant really. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, it was almost as if she was crafted by god himself. She bit her lip, looking me up and down as if she had finally found something she had lost long ago.

Then as if she sensed by nerves she smiled, "I remember that. The newness always wanting your mate. I was even worse with Selene. It'll get easier Nesta. Don’t worry, you’ll find yourself again, eve if you always feel a pull for Cassian.”

I nodded. If I didn’t think about how much I wanted him beside me, it wasn’t as hard to stand there with her. So I took in a breath and changed the subject, remembering what Lucien had told me last night about imprinted couples, "so I um. Do you have a power?"

There was a ring on her finger which meant she had a mate. She also understood my need for Cassian, comparing it to her own. If my thoughts weren’t all over the place I would’ve realized how easy this conversation could be. But I was too busy fighting myself for being so clingy that I could barely remember this cousin’s name. Mor laughed as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

“As with all imprinted couples I do have an ability. I can blend into my surroundings. Want to see?” her eyes flashed once and then she was gone. I gasped, watching as she reappeared, her form refiguring right in front of me, "it was really fun in the beginning. I used to terrorize Selene in the mornings."

I laughed, feeling a little better knowing no one here thought they were freaks. I didn’t know how to feel about supernatural things, things that I used to read stories about. Things my sisters used to be afraid of, were suddenly real and this was their world. This was my world. It was still crazy, I could barely wrap my head around it. And yet Mor was making it a little easier. She felt like a friend, she felt like someone I could confide in.

I knew I would always have Cassian. But it was nice to feel like I had a friend who wasn’t tethered to me by an imprint too.

As Mor and I talked, time seemed to move on. My nerves started to ease and my eyes didn’t constantly search the crowd for Cassian. Then a dark haired woman came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Mor's waist. She giggled as the woman kissed her neck, "Nesta this is my mate. My wife, Selene. Selene this is Cassian’s mate, Nesta."

Selene smiled at me, "it's nice to meet you. I only met Cassian a few days ago, but he is so lucky to have found you again. He's already so taken with you."

"Wife." I whispered suddenly realizing that everyone here was either single or married. My blood rang in my ears, I barely heard the rest of her sentence.

Mor was watching me closely. She stepped out of her wife's arms, coming closer to me. "Yes. Typically mates get married after imprinting."

I swallowed, my heart going crazy, "married," I laughed, "wow. I um. Yeah. Married."

Mor reached out and touched my arm, "hey are you okay? You look a little pale, should I get Cassian?"

"No," I tried to breathe but it was getting harder, "I just. Didn't realize that this was all so serious. I never considered getting married and now I have a mate. I'm just. Taking it all in."

Mor's hands framed my face, "breathe Nesta. You're calling Cassian to you with your panic. Just breathe. It's not like we've organized the wedding just yet. Normally we mate within the clans. It's rare that we imprint with a human. But you and Cassian have always been.... stubborn."

I nodded, my heart still beating erratically, "it's weird, that you all know I had another life before this one. And that I don't remember any of it."

Mor flashed me a brilliant smile, "you and me were always best friends in your other lives. I've missed you."

The blonde girl hugged me tightly my body still panicking. I tried to breathe through it, but it was getting harder. Just when I thought I would fall apart a pair of big hands grabbed my waist and pulled me away from her. I let out a sigh of relief, my panic subsiding as Cassian pulled me into his chest. I closed my eyes as Mor watched us together.

"What the hell Mor? I can feel her panic a mile away," he wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned into him.

Cassian listened to my panic and realized why Mor had scared me. He shook his head and pulled me away from his cousins, to the dark corner where none of his family was waiting to bombard us with more information.

"Nesta, sweetheart," he framed my face with his hands, his hair tickled my skin, "I am not going to force you into marriage. I will not make you do something or be someone you're not. Do I want to marry you? Hell I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. I've wanted to marry you since we first touched. But this is new, we're new. I told you slow, which means you're in control."

His fingers ran down my cheek as I felt his calmness seep into me. I offered him a smile as I felt my heartbeat slow down, "thanks," I whispered leaning my forehead against his, "I um. Never really thought of marriage and Mor said mates marry really fast."

"Well usually try to. Lucien told me Mor and Selene didn't even wait a full day. Trust me, Nesta. I won't be that guy. I know you, I can feel your heart. I know this still scares you. And I'd never make you do something you aren't ready for."

I couldn't help but smile more as I leaned into him. I pressed my forehead against his and took in his scent. I knew now exactly why my imprint had taken with him, why we always found each other. Because he knew me inside and out. Because he was my soul, my heart made flesh. I had gotten lucky to have him as a best friend, but even luckier to have him as my mate.

"I'm okay," I opened my eyes and looked up at him, "I'm okay. Thank you. For coming when I panicked."

"Always. I will always find you."

He kissed my forehead and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. I took in a deep breath and then there were hands pulling us away from each other.

"Nesta! I want you to meet the family, not converse with Cassian all afternoon. Come come, there's more people who want to meet you."

Lucien pulled me away from my mate, his eyes following us as we were swallowed up once again by the crowd. Lucien pulled me away as fast as he could, "come, come. You and my nephew don't need to be attached at the hip. I want to introduce you to the important people here."

My eyes were wide and he drug me away from Cassian. My body protested, my heart went crazy. Cassian tried to follow, but got swallowed up by the crowd. Apparently his family was just as anxious to meet him as they were to meet me. I swallowed my panic and tried to ease my crazy heart beat.

It pained Cassian when he couldn't get to me.

I hooked my arm through Lucien's and he tapped it gently, "Nesta this is Helion, Cassian's other uncle. He's a little, eccentric but I know he's been dying to meet you. His ability is a seer which means he's always known you would come. Well not you exactly, but he knew someone was going to imprint soon."

Helion smiled brightly and offered me his hand, "well you're just as beautiful as you were the first time we met, my love. Cassian always did choose pretty things."

"Wait. So you all know who I was in another life?"

Lucien shook his head, "we remember bits and pieces. No one truly knows who we used to be. You'll get a few memories too, when you and Cassian finally rise."

I bit my lip, this was even more than yesterday. I wasn't sure how to handle myself because Cassian wasn't here to save me. I felt like a drug addict, waiting for their next hit. I wanted his fingers to come in contact with mine, I needed his skin to press against mine.

God I was that girl. The girl I always hated. Less than twenty four hours had passed and I was borderline clingy already.

I forced myself to stop wondering where Cassian was and to focus on the men in front of me. I looked at Lucien, "Cassian's father. He's here?"

"Of course. My brother wouldn't miss this. He's the champion, he's the leader. And he's been looking for Cassian for as long as you have I'm sure."

"No one would ever tell me where they took him," part of my heart broke remembering the little girl I had been. How much it hurt me to miss him. How much I wanted him to come home, "it took me so long to get over losing him. I feel incredibly lucky to have him back."

Helion smiled, touching my cheek, "and my nephew is so lucky to have you. I can see this isn't just the bond, he imprint speaking. You two truly fell before it all even took place. Before you were even old enough for the bond to wake. They're stronger this time, Luc. They'll survive."

Lucien narrowed his eyes, "let's not bring that up brother. I don't want to ruin our perfectly happy celebration with talk of the past."

Helion lifted his eyebrows, "so you haven't told them," he whistled, "well the plot thickens."

I was about to ask what this was all about, but I didn't get the chance to. My chest tightened, my body flooded with fear and nerves. It was ghost feelings, I realized as they spread down my spine. They felt almost like phantom pains.

It took me a moment to realize where they were coming from. Cassian's heart was going crazy. This was what he felt when Mor had scared me. It why he came running and I my eyes searched for him once again. I glanced up and saw a male looking at him, his mouth set in a straight line as he gazed back. I looked at Helion and then at Lucien and excused myself.

I walked over to him and brushed my hand along the small of his back, my fingers finding their way under his shirt. He let out a sigh of relief as he relaxed into me.

"And this beauty must be my newest daughter in law."

So this was Cassian's father. My eyes went wide and I took him in. They looked nothing alike. Except in the way they held themselves. I leaned into Cassian, hoping he would loosen up as I smiled at his father.

"I'm Nesta." He took my hand and kissed it, "it's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure," his eyes sparkled and I saw where Cassian got his charm, "is all mine. You have no idea how long I've waited for you. For both of you. Call me Beron please, none of this Mr. Vanserra stuff.”

I blushed as Cassian wrapped his arm around my waist. There were two boys off to the side, they stood watching as we stood talking to Beron. Something about the way they watched us took me off guard. I let out a slow breath as my mate’s arms wrapped around me. Cassian's fingers were tight on my waist. He was full of emotions. I tried to pull some away.

"Cassian this is Rhysand," his heart was going crazy. I stayed close as he swallowed and looked at the violet eyed boy, "and Azriel. They're your brothers."

His mouth fell open as the two, who couldn't be much older than him, smiled. They all three looked so different and yet something similar sparkled in their eyes. Cassian looked at me and I let his hand go as he stepped forward.

"I have brothers," he said softly as his dad stood watching. Rhys stepped forward first and grabbed Cassian away from me. He tousled his hair.

“Yeah I’m older than you too,” he laughed as Cassian didn’t struggle against his hold. When he let him go Az came over and lightly punched his shoulder, “you’re younger than both of us. So watch out.”

His eyes were wide as he looked at the two boys who were similar in height to him. I had to look up at all three of them, but Cassian was looking right in their eyes. I watched as he reached out and touched my mate’s shoulder and then I saw him try and control the emotions that were soaring through him. He was confused, happy and yet sad because he didn’t get to grow up with these boys. There was so much happening inside his body I took a step forward and touched his arm. The moment my skin was one his his mind stopped swirling.

Cassian looked back at his father. His voice broke on his next question, "why didn't you stop them? Why did you let them take me away?"

Beron blew out a breath, "because your mother never put me on the birth certificate. I had no way of claiming you and by the time I figured it all out they already sent you away. She never wanted you to know this family, because of the imprints. Because she was disgusted with the idea of you being supernatural. Because I never loved her," he looked at Cassian and there was sorrow in his eyes, "because I imprinted the day before she told me she was pregnant with you."

His mouth fell open and I stepped forward before his anger, his frustration, could crush him. My hand on his arm wasn’t enough, I wanted to protect him, to push him behind me and shield him from his father’s words. But I didn’t, instead I slipped my hands under his shirt and pressed my fingers against his back. He relaxed under my touch, letting me soothe him before he got too carried away.

"Thanks," he said quietly as his brothers watched. He turned his head halfway to face me, his eyes closed as he let me help him through this intense moment. I nodded, my heart letting him know I wasn’t going to let him go through this alone.

"Wow," Rhys smiled. I looked at him, his eyes wide as he watched us together, "he's so affected by Nesta. This is crazy, I’ve never seen it in person before. I’ve heard so many stories, but seeing it makes it real. This is wow. Maybe we'll imprint soon."

Cassian turned back and looked at his brothers. He was still trying to sort out what he felt. I closed my eyes and laid my head against his back, "Cass I'm here okay?”

Someone was clapping. I opened my eyes and Tomas stood there watching us. He wore the worst smile I had ever seen, "well if it isn't the cutest couple in all of Velaris. Here to show us how they have yet again found yet each."

I squeezed Cassian's hips as he spun around to stand in front of me, blocking me from Tomas’s view, "leave her alone, Tomas."

"What is he doing?" Rhys whispered into my ear. I didn’t realize he was standing so close to me until he was right there. Until I felt both him and Az get ready to protect me the way their brother already was.

I sighed, "he's obsessed with me. He has been ever since Cassian left. I've turned him down time and time again."

Azriel's hand formed a fist, "well then. Let us show him Cassian isn't a bastard anymore. And that you don't mess with our family."

They both stepped around us and went towards their cousin. Tomas stepped around them and looked at me, “why him, Nesta? I was the one who tried for years, I took you out. I thought this time you’d pick me.”

I shook my head, “I would never pick you Tomas. Just like I stopped Elain from choosing Grayson. From what I understand this isn’t something you choose anyways,” Lucien and Beron were coming over to see what the noise was as Tomas tried to get closer to me. Cassian was my shield, he growled as his cousin tried to get around him.

“It’s always this way. You choose Cassian and then he gets you killed. If you chose me, if we were together, you wouldn’t die, Nesta.”

“Stop,” Cassian shouted at his cousin as his brothers formed a circle around him. Their uncle kept watching as Cassian blocked me from view, “stop. This is between me and you Tomas. Leave Nesta out of it.”

Tomas didn’t even blink as he stepped forward and threw the first punch. I screamed as Rhys took action, Az coming to help as well. Cassian stumbled, holding his nose as they all three ganged up on Tomas. I stumbled, trying to get in between them, but someone grabbed me and pulled me out of the circle.

Mor shook her head, her grip firm on my arm, “don’t. You’ll only get hurt trying to get them off each other.”

“We can’t just let them beat each other up!” I saw Beron grab Rhys and Lucien went for Tomas. Cassian was on the ground and my heart stopped. There was blood on his fist and blood on his face. I pulled out of Mor’s hold and ran to my mate.

“That’s enough boys,” Lucien all but growled the words, “I told you to behave Tomas. This is a family affair, we are all happy to have Nesta here. Don’t start with this jealousy, don’t start with your crazy talk of choosing bonds. Imprints aren’t chosen, they’re given. They’ve been working since before you were even a thought in my head. So stop it son.”

Tomas spit blood on the ground. He ignored his father and looked at me. I knelt down on the ground beside my mate and touched his arm, “don’t worry Nes, I’ll find a way for us to be together. You belong with me.”

“No I belong with Cassian,” he started to sit up as I glared at Tomas, “I think I always have.”

“Yeah well when I break that bond, I’ll come to you. I’ll heal you and we’ll be together.”

My blood ran cold at the thought of Tomas breaking the bond I shared with Cassian. I let out a breath and suddenly Cassian’s hand was on my cheek. He soothed me, instead of me taking care of the bruises on his face. Cassian stood up and then pulled me with him.

He took me into the garage, away from the eyes of his family. I let out a slow breath and then he sat down on the counter. I shook my head, pulling myself out of my head and focusing on him. His face was bruising and there was a large cut along his cheek, right under his eye.

“I’m okay,” his deep voice was soft as I came to stand between his legs. His brown eyes were searching mine, as if I held the answer in them. As if I could tell him everything I was feeling without touching him.

"Are you sure?” I asked running my finger close to the cut from Tomas's ring.

He sighed, his fingers brushing against my bracelets as he touched my wrist, "I'm fine Nesta. I was more worried he'd go after you."

I rolled my eyes, "let me clean it at least please."

He nodded as I dabbed the wet cloth against his skin. I stood between his legs and when I was finished his brown eyes found mine. He laced our fingers together and looked down at my wrist. His thumb brushed against the leather bracelet I had gotten all those years ago with my sisters. I started to talk, trying to break the tension of whatever had just happened between us.

"My sisters and I all got together and got these for each other. We thought it was so cute to have our initials together."

He smiled, "you really care about them."

"They're my little sisters. Of course I do," I bit my lip and a feeling of wanting to give Cassian something of mine overwhelmed me.

I pulled my hand away from him and pulled the chords that kept it together. I loosened the bracelet, the one I never ever took off, and then took his wrist in my hand. I smiled as I set the leather against his warm skin, “there. Now you have a piece of me with you always."

He blushed, "Nesta."

I put my finger over his lips, "you've always been my best friend, Cass. Even during these last fifteen years of silence. No one else ever knew me the way you did," I pressed my hand against his chest, "as you do."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and slipped his fingers into the back pockets of my jeans. He pulled me closer and my eyes went from his down to his lips and back again. There was so much static between us, so much I could feel happening between us my heart skipped a beat. It was now or never, I knew this was my move to make. Before I could over think it, before I could scare myself I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.

He tasted like home. Like the childhood I had been forced to give up. His lips were soft and warm, his fingers digging into my backside as he kissed me slowly. My arms wrapped around his neck and I couldn't move if I wanted to. Because this was my home. He was my forever home.

My fingers slipped into his hair as I opened my mouth and took him in deeper. I could feel him in every single part of my body, my heart hammering inside my chest. We weren't two different souls in that moment. His mouth moving with mine we became one. My hips moved closer to him, his hands holding me tightly against his chest.

I gasped as his heartbeat mimicked mine.

Someone cleared their throat before either of us could gain our breath. I jumped, Cassian pulling back slowly and running his thumb along my cheek. His eyes were on mine, he didn't look at whoever had interrupted our moment.

"Can I help you?" He asked, his hand warm against my cheek. His bruise looked better.

"Lucien is looking for you," Rhys's voice was filled with wonder and jealousy. If I turned around I was more than sure he was smirking, "he wants to make sure you're alright. Should I tell him Nesta took care of everything?"

Cassian broke my gaze and then glared at his brother, "tell him we'll be right there."

I laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder as Rhys walked away, "I wanted to kiss you ever since you touched me."

"I've wanted to kiss you ever since we were seven. So I think we're even."

I blushed and then pulled back, "Cass. Will you. Stay with me tonight? After what Tomas said, I just don't want to be alone with my sisters."

He smiled and it was crooked and beautiful, "of course. I'll stay. Let's go see what my uncle wants.”

Cassian and I went back to the backyard, his hand holding mine. He wasn’t letting me go this time, and I wasn’t going to let anyone take me away from him either. I took in a deep breath as we found his uncle talking with his father. Azriel and Rhys were off talking to other family members. But I noticed them watching us as we came to stand with the red haired man.

“Nesta I apologize for my son’s behavior. I never knew he was so, well I never knew he was looking at you. He talked about a girl, but he knows the rules. We don’t allow dating, not since the imprinting stopped. I am sorry.”

I nodded, “it’s fine. I was just upset he hit Cassian,” I leaned into my mate and let out a slow breath.

“Are you hogging our beautiful new girl?” A woman came over and tapped Lucien’s arm. She was beautiful, her hair so blonde it was almost white. She grabbed my chin, forcing my eyes to find hers. She looked me over, seemingly pleased with what she found as she smiled brightly at me, “well I’ll be damned. You look exactly the same as you did all those years ago.”

I swallowed, glancing at Cassian before looking back at her. She let me go and I let out a breath of relief, “um. Thanks I think?”

She laughed and it sounded like tiny bells ringing, “I’m sorry. I am Olivia. Beron’s mate,” she looked at Cassian’s father and smiled. The way she looked at him made me wonder how foolish I looked whenever I glanced at Cassian. It was full of love and so much more, “I am so happy his son found you again, Nesta. I’m so glad we found you both again. It seems like this world wants to keep you two apart and to keep you two from us.”

I bit my bottom lip as Cassian found his way back to me. He was right at my back, his hands grabbing my waist and holding me against him, “forgive me if we aren’t as excited as you are to meet us. We’re just taking it all in. Why do you remember more than we do?”

Olivia sighed as Beron pulled her closer to him, “because you two are the ones who are meant to free us from the shadow’s spell. You’re to bring back the imprints, to stop the darkness that is coming. The darkness that threatens to take us all away from each other.”

“Well. That’s a lot of pressure,” Cassian muttered as his father laughed.

“What your step mother meant is that you two are the key to stopping the curse that has fallen on us. The one that took away our imprints, the one that will bring the darkness from their world into ours.”

“Why us?” I asked slightly breathless. This was a tall order.

Beron shrugged, “it’s always been you two. You and Cassian love deeper, harder, than the rest of us. Maybe it’s because it takes you the longest to find each other. Or because your soul was specifically crafted for him. I’m not sure. But whatever the reason, you two are the key to finally stopping the cycle that the shadows have been pushing you through for the last hundred years.”

“What cycle?” Cassian’s chest tightened and so did mine. We knew this had to do with whatever his other uncle had mentioned earlier.

“That’s a conversation for another day,” Lucien stepped up, “I will tell you everything, when you’re ready. Right now you and Nesta need to get to know each other again. You need to be kids and find each other. I don’t want to scare you, to put even more pressure on you.”

I wanted to know what he was talking about, but something told me I wasn’t ready. I leaned into Cassian and I accepted his uncle’s answer. And because I did, Cassian did too.

“Okay,” I turned and looked at my mate, “I want to know too, but right now I want to pretend like this is all a dream. I don’t want to talk about supernaturals and shadow worlds. I want to get to know your family, to get to know you again. We can force him to tell us later.”

He nodded, leaning his forehead against mine, “have I mentioned how amazing you are? Because you really are.”

I laughed as he kissed my cheek, “I like hearing you tell me that I’m amazing,” I answered.

"May I have this dance?" Cassian pulled me away from his family, his hand touching my waist as the music started. I smiled at him as his fingers found mine and he spun me around before I had a chance to answer. The song was slow and it was one I had always loved.

“People fall in love in mysterious ways…” I sang along as we danced together, I had no idea what I was doing, but I moved with him. Cassian couldn’t stop smiling as I sang the words to him, and I felt them deep inside my soul. This moment, it was real. And it was perfect.

“Maybe just the touch of a hand… with me, I fall in love with you every single day…” Cassian’s deep voice sang the words to me as he smiled. I shook my head, thinking about that moment almost twenty four hours ago when he brushed his hand against mine.

Even with all the crazy things that are happening I wouldn’t change that moment for anything in the world.

It suddenly didn’t matter to me that everyone was watching us. My heart thrummed loudly in time with the song that played. The song changed then and a new one came on. It was still slow, I still held onto his arms. It was an old country song, one about first love, new love. I blushed as he danced as if he had been trained to push a girl around the dance floor.

"You're the only girl I ever wanted to push around a dance floor," he whispered softly as his family watched us. No one else was dancing, "they like you. They really like us."

I smiled, leaning in and kissing his lips softly, "good. Because I really like you too."

He held me closer as a few others decided to join us, "Nesta. I know you were forced into whatever the hell this is, but did I mention that I'm so glad it was you?"

I smiled as I brushed my nose with his, "no. But I'm glad it was me too. I can't even imagine being fake happy for you if you ended up with someone else. It's like I've known you my whole life. As if this moment is the one I've been waiting for."

His hands slipped to my waist, "I've been waiting forever for you, pretty girl. And I don't plan on ever letting you go again."

He kissed me, the same way he had kissed me in the garage, in front of his entire family. We stopped dancing, the music faded into background noise as his lips moved with mine. I smiled in the middle of the kiss as I heard his family sigh with happiness.

If every moment in this new life was spent this way, I was pretty sure I would die happy. If I got to kiss him whenever I wanted, for as long as I lived, I would be forever grateful to whatever god had given me half his soul to keep.

"You're mine," he whispered softly, "and I'll forever be yours."

He pressed his hand over my heart and I knew no matter what evil was waiting for us we would find our way to the other side together.

#nesta #nesta acheron #nessian #cassian #nesta x cassian #nessian fanfiction #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acomaf #acomaf fanfiction #acowar #acowar fanfiction #au fanfiction #first time again

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queensofmystery · 7 years

Note

every 4th question

*_* Thank you so much!!

(yall about to learn way too much about me I’m sorry)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work andtell why

Well since I’ve done a crap job of reading published fictionfor months, these authors haven’t been read for at least…seven months or morenow. But I still think about their work a lot:

Haruki Murakami: His books 1Q84 and The Wind-Up Bird Chroniclewere so beautiful to me—I know some think he’s overrated (and I haven’t readKafka on the Shore I’m afraid to) but those two books are so many things I loveabout fiction—aspects of magical realism, rich sensory details, and justlengthy prose that is never boring to me. So much of the fantastical is in hiswriting, so many strong images coupled with emotions, it’s just a joy to readhim, and I try to put some similar level of strong imagery in my work partlybecause of his influence I think.

Jean M. Auel: I read her Earth’s Children series when I was13, again when I was 18, and since I was 22 I’ve been really wrapped up in it,though not as heavily as I was seven months ago—I still think about it a lotand miss the protagonist, who’s been a huge comfort to me over the years. Itinfluenced my first college major (anthropology) and was the strongestinfluence on my passion to be a writer. Her prose is also rich in detail, butmore in a “textbook” kind of way which I think most readers found boring, but Iloved it, it helped me get wrapped up in the prehistoric world Auel builds.Also gave me a passionate love for strong women healers who are independent yetstill multi-faceted. :) (sound familiar?)

Hayao Miyazaki: He’s most well-known as a director ofseveral beautiful animated films from Japan. But in 2012 I read his mangaNausicaa of the Valley of the Wind and honestly it changed my life. Anotherstrong woman as a protagonist, and also such a beautiful message behind theentire work taken as a whole. Only added fuel to the fire of my passion forpost-apocalyptic narratives, which influences my original fantasy writing alot. But also that manga is so much about transformation, and compassion, andthe strength of humanity, I feel like I try to put that strength in all mycharacters in some way, even in fanfiction. Nausicaa is such a beautifulcharacter in so many ways…I could write an essay (kind of have already but it’sjust a messy ramble and over three years old now lol).

8. what time are you most productive?

Umm unfortunately either right before I eat dinner (I’m notsuper hungry in the evenings, I only eat to take my medicine, and I hate howtired eating dinner usually makes me) or really late at night after I’ve wokenup from an unplanned nap. On weekends I love to get writing done in themornings, between a small breakfast and just some snacks for lunch, but thatdoesn’t happen as often as I want.

12. favorite place to write

On my bed with my cat next to me (the only place I’m ever onmy laptop honestly)

16. easiest verse to write

Is this referring to universe as in what fandom do I mostprefer to write in?? I hope I’m reading that right…if not you can correct me!But obviously rn I only write for Elementary…but I hope to explore fantasy AUs,including Pacific Rim and His Dark Materials! And of course my vampire AU whichwill be so so exciting for me to write… I just love fantasy, so I suppose that’seasiest for me.

If my mind is playing tricks on me and this question isreferring to POV or tense…I’m really confused.

20. favorite character to write

Well this one’s obvious…Joan Watson. I’ve projected myselfon her an embarrassing amount really, but also she inspires me. I’m so happythat I took the plunge and finally started writing fanfiction because of her.

24. favorite scene you’ve ever written

I haven’t written a lot of fic yet, but my favorite that I’veposted online is…The First Night. It’s the most I’ve gotten into Joan’s head Ithink, that’s probably why I like it so much. And it’s just the tip of theiceberg of all the closure fic I want to write (I guess others call it fix-itfic but I see closure fic as a bit different than fix-it) which is why I was sodriven to write fanfiction in the first place (for the first time ever, it was so scary).

28. worst review you ever got

Everyone commenting on my fics has been so kind! I have nocomplaints in that area! But I will say there was this workshop in college…ohit was a dark time. Anyone ever have those writing professors who just abhorgenre fiction and look down on it and of course all you want to write is genrefiction and ugh…Well I wrote a story with two vampires who were enemies, andthe protagonist I was writing, the ideas for her were in their infant stagesand I just took a risk…and it didn’t pay off. Everyone was confused, no one hadanything good to say…that I remember. It was no fun.

32. alternate title for (insert story title)

Since you didn’t choose a title I will choose one myself!>_

36. one-shot or multi-chaptered story?

To read? Multi-chaptered story all the way. I love lengthystories, I will gobble them up every time if it’s characters/pairings I love!But this doesn’t mean I dislike one-shots, I love one-shots. I love both reallyI can’t say I have a strong preference for multi-chapter, I just have alwaysloved long stories, I love spending a long time with characters and gettingcloser to them that way.

To write? Sad to say I suck at plot so one-shots are mydeal. Or vignettes, if we want to be flattering. (I’m sure there’s a differenceI just haven’t learned it yet.)

40. which one of your stories would you most like to see asa movie/series

*shuffles feet* Love Is Touching Souls (which is a WIP but Ihave several chapters planned) It would give me so much closure and thegreatest joy to see my Elementary AU played out on screen by the beautifulactors…(sans Mycrosoft of course we all know I hate him…except that moment whenJoan smacks him the face. Which is what really happened in 2x23.)

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if youfeel like it?

So far I prefer to write linear, but I’m so impatient andfrustrated with myself because of that…I feel like I can never get enough done!I do a lot of planning…and if I feel really strongly about a scene I’ll write asuper rough draft or a snippet of it. Several of my WIPs just popped up thatway…including most of Love Is Touching Souls.

48. three spoilers for (insert story title)

Well, uh, you get spoilers for the future chapters of LoveIs Touching Souls cuz that’s the only long fic I have going! (Besides the Vegasfic which I will never abandon I stg it’s just on hold!)

Spoiler 1 involves the roof of the brownstone post 3x24.(will never be as good as @disheveledcurls‘ “and miles to go before I sleep” - please go read it if you haven’t and comment she deserves it - but I had to tryand express my paltry headcanons, it’s the least Joan and Sherlock deserve fromme)

Spoiler 2 will involve Joan discovering Moriarty’s lettersand deep discussion with Sherlock about the difference between Joan andMoriarty, which y’know we really should’ve gotten in the show I mean c’mon.

Spoiler 3 involves Joan in Peril because I have to write itokay I have to. It was one of the first stories I came up with actually (afterthe very first fic I ever started that should be chapter 3 of LITS, whichinvolves Sherlock in Peril so I just love writing my faves getting hurt I’mmean. But I also love Joan in Dr. Watson Mode so I couldn’t resist).

#ask meme #message #elementasquee #my writing #personal #beanarie

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