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bonefall · 5 months

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the cats of the park is just frostpaw finally getting some therapy

tbh tho I feel like them being separate from clan life would help her immensely. They’re not so wrapped up in this culture of battle so they have a new and refreshing perspective (and also frost doesn’t have to worry about ulterior motives because they are STAYING AWAY from THAT trainwreck that is the clans)

RE: Nothing in BB!ASC is set in stone until the arc is done BUT

One excellent thing ASC has done with the Park cats that is commendable, is that they're treated as legitimate. Not inferior or malicious. They're just another culture that Frostpaw is going to learn from. The bar is UNDERGROUND but we've finally hopped over it.

So I'd want to keep and acknowledge that.

I think I might have an interesting idea for Frostpaw's journey. Also, side note... I'm thinking BB!ASC will rename every book because these titles are actually awful, im sorry. So I'd call this one ASC: The Source of the River

Gonna jot these down;

So, to begin with, Frostpaw calls the human. While being heavily sedated, she has her first vision of Riverstar.

FROSTPAW DOES NOT HAVE A SPECIAL CONNECTION TO STARCLAN.

She NEVER would. Screw that. Instead-- learning to connect to this vision of Riverstar, to her ancestors and their wisdom, is a SKILL she would learn.

Frame the journey less as Riverstar's Side Quest and more as Frostpaw chasing the Revelation she had while anesthetized.

So when she wakes up, she's thinking about how incomprehensibly VAST Riverstar was. She can't even imagine how there's enough space in the world to contain such a being.

Even the Lake itself... the lake is just a droplet, being suckled like a kit on the teat of the Southern Inlet river

For a second, her troubles seemed like a small flea on the nose of a great, cosmic being. But as she reconnects with the mortal plane after her dream, the flea becomes an infestation. She doesn't know where to begin, or how she can save her Clan.

She thinks back to Riverstar. The river that feeds the Lake. Was that what he was trying to tell her? That she has to follow it to the source?

STOP 1: RIVER WARD

The BB!Tribe is massively overhauled. The Tribe of Rushing Water defines themselves as three Wards (Cave, Mountain, River), connected by living on the same stretch of river.

From them, she learns about connections. They are simply able to call upon each other for all they need, there's no need to "appoint" someone to manage everything.

Families and friends hold each other accountable, networking and negotiating constantly. When the group must act as one, it casts stones.

Their Stoneteller is a religious leader, but all cats connect with their ancestors by personally interpreting omens, even without needing to go see him.

(Contrast to BB!Clans, whose Clerics are the KEEPERS of holy knowledge, and it is a sin to interpret StarClan's will on your own)

Yet, there are downsides. She can see ostracised cats who skirt at the edges of the Ward, especially the descendants of a particular group (called Flicks) that she learns once tried to invade the River Ward.

Though they welcome travellers and have a positive view of Clan cats as "family," she learns that they freeze out those who break taboo. Even for smaller offenses-- social faux pas and personal disputes have caused rifts within the Ward.

And the personal omen interpretation means that two cats can try and justify their feelings with religious commands, leveraging any "soothsayer" (particularly religious cats) connections they have like a social pissing match, unless they're both willing to get dragged to Stoneteller.

From all this, Frostpaw learns that she CAN connect to Riverstar and her ancestors, even if she can't speak to them... and that she must LISTEN. Not allow herself to twist her ancestor's words.

And all the Wards are connected, by the source of a river. Suddenly she answers her question.

"How could the world be big enough to contain a being like Riverstar?" Because water isn't all in one place. It's everywhere. It pools where it can and flows where it cannot.

And yet-- a single people is connected by its water. Three wards, one River. Five Clans, one Lake... three siblings, one belly.

Her heart aches thinking about Curlfeather.

She thinks of when quarreling Tribemates are brought to Stoneteller to arbitrate, and be taught the truth. Brought up the river, to its source at the waterfall.

That has to be it! The source, the BEGINNING.

Stop 2 would be WarriorClan as she heads south, but I'm not sure what they'd teach her yet lmao. Monkeystar says "Hi! Do you want to learn how to play a kazoo"

STOP 3... I'd want to rename the Park Cats. Maybe the New Park cats.

(evil brain: "Neopark. Make terrible petsite joke. Be reincarnated as a lotus flower)

There would also be a BIG recap of Ancient Park culture, and the River Kingdom. Frostpaw knows they had KINGS.

And a lot of aspects that modern Clan cats have-- ceremonial sparring, mentors and apprentices, the Law of the Deputy... those came out of the River Kingdom, before its collapse in the Code Era.

But these cats are NOTHING like the glorious tales of a Kingdom warrior. In fact... this is THE park!

THE park that was destroyed, which King Arc-of-Park lead his people away from. How could it have been ruined if it's still here?

(Reality: the Park was shrunk and landscaped. It was destroyed in that time to the perspective of cats. Maybe she'll have some visions of the past through meditation...)

But the survivors, and those who chose not to follow their King... they remained. And they continue to thrive.

Like canon, have them teach her the ability to meditate. Unlike Tribe cats, meditation is about SIGNS, not OMENS. Omens are physical. Signs are psychic.

(Also i like Bee so im probably gonna keep him as Frosty's yoga coach)

She sees Riverstar a few times, has details of Curlfeather's scheme revealed to her in enough chunks to piece together,

but is eventually bowled over when her best, most productive meditation yet... results in a black shadow.

He has a shining pearlstone adorning his head, and deep, wet pools for eyes. Very few other features can be made out, besides his paw, which is shockingly normal compared to his wraith-like body.

Somehow, Frostpaw understands she is looking at a Patron. But she doesn't know who he is until he tells her, he is King Arc-of-Park.

Though remembered, he is not invoked often. The details of his appearance are lost. All that remains of him is his paw-- carried on in a few expressions and the -paw suffix. The one which Frostpaw herself currently bears.

Since Riverstar, his beloved son, so rarely speaks in straightforward terms, he has come to give Frostpaw her answers.

But before she speaks, trembling with desire for finally FINALLY getting the truth, almost frozen by the sheer volume of things she needs to know, he stops and tells her,

"You have earned the truth, Frostpaw. Be not afraid to ask for what you are owed-- but we only have time for three questions, and I shall ask three in turn."

Question 1: "What did you need me to learn?"

"Many things. How to find your own answers. The perspective of the thousand eyes you've met. The wisdom that only a pilgrimage can bestow. I, too, was no leader before I brought my people up the river, and now you too must save RiverClan. Have you learned what we sought to teach?"

She feels unsure... "I don't think I can know if I have, until I go home."

Even though he has no mouth, she can hear his smile, "That is a yes, child."

Question 2: "What am I learning about RiverClan and its history, if these New Park cats are nothing like my Kingdom ancestors?"

He hums, "You have come to the source of the river, and are vexxed to not find the water that is already swirling downstream? No cat stands in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and they are not the same cat. Are my people gone, Frostpaw, or do they live on?"

Stunned, her jaw hangs open ever so slightly. She thought she knew the answer right away, but his simple question becomes a riddle on her tongue.

He tells her not to worry. She does not need to answer his questions immediately, as they're running out of time. Ask your last.

Question 3: "...did my mom love me?"

IMMEDIATE, "she did. Child of my distant blood, she loved you like a king loves his prince. Ferociously, ambitiously... selfishly."

He cradles her face in his one, massive, silk-soft paw, like he's reaching out of the shadows, across time itself. His last question, "She put you in a terrible position, didn't she?"

A lifetime's worth of love and agony bubbles out of the kid, "SHE DID. She DID and I never did ANYTHING to deserve this, I did everything she told me, and I just wanted to make her happy, and... and i miss my mom."

When she returns from her trance, she's crying.

But her companions are here to help her unpack all of what she just learned.

Will probably end up letting her recruit a little DND party lmao... maybe one cat from each pit stop. Heartstar shouldn't be the only girlie who's allowed to get expansion packs.

Make a little found family here that Frostpaw returns home with.

RE: NOT. CONFIRMED YET. NONE of this is BB canon yet. Just thoughts I need to get down.

#better bones au #bone babble #BB!ASC #I hope i can have night join river in the end tbh #Honestly i feel like it works best if he burned his bridge in thunder several times over #And realizes he really won't be happy there and he feels like the best thing to do is start new #Like have a bittersweet feeling where he's still loved and loves them. But with time they all see it was a wise and honest choice #Budding theme here could be Sometimes Love Is Not Enough #Something about how sometimes you need to change your environment. Either by leaving it or working on it #And a bad environment for one person is a good one for another #BUT AGAIN gotta see where everyone ends up

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 2 months

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Defamation of Character

Request: Enemies to lovers. Yn is a sports journalist and she’s never wrote anything favorable about Jalen but they meet at an event and the sexual tension is…there Requested by the beautiful @harlowcomehome

Warnings: language, use of derogatory terms (bitch)

A/N: I think this is the first enemies to lovers fic I've written, and who better for than Jalen?

"Y/N My office, please! Now!"

You'd just put down your lukewarm, breakroom coffee when you heard the croaky voice of your editor, John, behind you. You took a quick sip, the taste of burnt coffee beans lingering on your tongue as you rolled your shoulders back. You knew this was coming, but you thought you'd at least have the week before John would lay down the hammer with you.

You dumped your bag and coat down on top of your desk, careful not to disturb the disheveled piles of ESPN magazine issues you collected over the year, pages turned to your first articles as a sports writer, and the various notes you had scribbled on cocktail napkins and notebook paper. Your journalism methods were unorthodox, but they worked for you, as long as no one touched the piles.

You slowly made your way down the aisles of desks towards John's office, trying to delay the admonishing you knew you were about to get for as long as possible. For every good thing you heard about ESPN, ESPN magazine was exactly the opposite. A lot fewer bright lights and cameras, a lot more skeezy journalism. You passed row after row of other journalists and junior editors, desperate to find their next story, heads down with terrible posture as they frantically searched the web.

With the introduction of smart phones and social media, not only were you competing against every major news network and publication for a juicy story, you also also running against the clock with Henry from Sarasota, Florida, who happened to snap a picture of a Buccaneers player at their local bar and posted it to their Instagram. You had to be cutthroat if you wanted to make publication, and while it had made you a few enemies in the professional sporting industry, it was a risk you were willing to take.

"I swear to God you're trying to send me to an early grave." John let out a huff as he tossed a pile of papers in your direction as you took as seat opposite him. "Jalen Hurts? You just had to go after the NFL's prince, huh?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, but it did nothing to stop the nagging headache at the base of his skull.

"Oh good, you read it. Find any typos?" You gave him a cocky smirk, messing with the Derek Jeter bobble head on his desk. You flicked your fingers against the helmet, making the spring bounce around. Booiinngg "I was afraid it came off a bit speculative, but based on your response, it was right on the nose." Booiinngg

"Would you stop that?!". He snatched the figurine from the desk, tossing it into the trashcan. "When I gave you the editorial slot, it was supposed to be a simple profile on Jalen, not a hit piece!"

"I talked about his upbringing." You shrugged, sitting back in your chair.

"Oh yes", he snapped the paper straight, looking over the top of his glasses. "Its amazing how someone with such a humble upbringing as Jalen can turn into one of the most overrated quarterbacks of the last 10 years with his only claims to fame being the "tush push" and an inability to close out games."

"You hired me to tell a good story, not to kiss ass, John."

"No, I hired you because I owed your father a favor." Your face dropped as John balled up the piece of paper, landing it on top of the bobble head.

Your father was one of the best sports journalists of the last century, and you had done everything to make a name for yourself in an industry that just wouldn't let you forget you were a nepo baby. "Now, you've proved to be a good journalist, but if you keep picking fights with the people who keep us in business, we're gonna have a problem. I don't know if you've noticed, but print is essentially dead in the water. Everyone wants to get their news in 60 characters or less and this art form is quickly dying." You could tell John needed a stiff drink, even if it was only 8 o'clock in the morning.

You sat forward in your chair, resting your elbows on your thighs. You weren't one to be pushed around by a man, even if they did sign your paychecks. "You can't actually be blaming me for the state of this company."

"No, but it does mean that things are going to change around here", John muttered, his voice overpowered by the sound of the Redbull he was cracking open. He poured it into a coffee cup; obviously regular caffeine wasn't going to cut it today. Your heart dropped into your stomach at his confession. You'd heard whispers about layoff around the watercooler, but that's what they were, just rumors, and no one likes to talk like a journalist.

John let out a sigh as he looked at your face, concern evident. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but I'm hoping this lights a fire under you." You perked up a the thought of fire, but he shot you down immediately, wagging a finger in the air. "This doesn't mean I want you to go out there unhinged. We're letting half the team go next week, but I haven't decided which ones are gonna go."

You knew that your seat was hanging in the balance. It wasn't a secret that you weren't the most popular person in the office, and until now, you couldn't have cared less. You're weren't here to make friends, you were here to be the best writer you could me. You'd definitely rubbed some people the wrong way, but honestly, fuck 'em. Connections meant even less to you now that you knew you were going to have less competition for prime spots in the spread.

"Ok, what do I have to do to stay here? I'll rewrite my article, try to make a Hurts a little more likeable. It'll be hard work, but I'll do my best." You were half joking, half serious.

John took a swig from his cup, finishing off his drink with a cough as the medicinal taste hit his taste buds. "No, if you pull another stunt like that, you'll be the first to clean out your desk. I have another assignment for you."

****

You let out a hard sigh as you placed the "PRESS" lanyard around your neck and made your way through the crowded tunnel beneath Lincoln Financial Field. You weren't exaggerating when you said that sideline reporting was beneath you. It's grunt work to put it nicely, and with the added potential for injury if a 300 pound lineman comes careening into the crowd, it was the last assignment you wanted today.

"Welcome fans to Lincoln Financial Field where the Philadelphia Eagles will face off against the Minnesota Vikings", the announcer's voice was muffled through inches of concrete. You pushed past drones of photographers and security as the crowd's roar shook the ground beneath your feet. Finally, you caught the fresh air as you reached the field. Even in your salty mood, you could admit that there was nothing quite as electric as stepping onto a football field. The energy surging through your body was unlike anything you've experienced and it was one of the reasons you stayed in this industry so long.

You slung your camera off your neck and bent down to take a couple of photos of the players stretching on the field. Once you were satisfied with your photos, you took a second to look through them. You took a subconscious step back as you saw a couple of players jogging past you into the tunnel and ended up colliding with a hard body.

"Ow!", you grimaced, rubbing your elbow that collided with hardened plastic. You turned on your heels to see the object of your hit piece standing behind you, his signature blinding white smile on display. "Excuse me, Ms. Nosey", Jalen chuckled as he hung his helmet underneath his arm. If you didn't hate his guts, that southern drawl might have pulled you in.

"Hurts, you planning on choking in the fourth quarter, or is that just something you reserve for playoff games?" You were stunned by your own words, the vitriol firing out before your brain could catch up. You caught the flash of hurt on his face before his features softened, once again, giving you a sincere grin that you really didn't deserve. "You have a nice day now." He left you standing on the sidelines, a pang of guilt hitting you in the chest. You shook it off, raising your camera to snap a picture of him as he reached the middle of the field.

****

The game was uneventful, the Eagles wiping the floor with Minnesota and much to your chagrin, you really didn't have much to write an article about. You knew John was just trying to get you off of his back without actually getting rid of you, at least for now, but it hurt to know that your talent could easily be condensed into a couple of sentences some guy would read to catch up on the game while they were taking their midday bathroom break.

You jotted down a couple of notes in your notebook so you wouldn't forget them while the field cleared out. It was at this point that you'd usually head to the locker rooms for post-game comments, but instead you were just going to head home early and finish your write up before the nights end.

Your focus was on your phone as you walked through the tunnel toward the parking deck. You were texting your friend to see if she wanted to grab drink when you heard the sound of laughter roaring to the right of you. You stopped in your tracks to read the PLAYERS LOCKER ROOM placard.

What could it hurt to sneak in and get a couple of quotes from Jalen? You weren't above editing your article to John's liking, especially when you knew what hung in the balance. You flashed your press badge to the security guard posted at the door and hid in the back of the crowd of journalists and videographers.

Of course they were all huddled around Jalen as he sat at his locker, he had a stellar performance tonight, and still he was as humble as ever, deflecting compliments from the reporters.

"Ya know man, its a testament to my team, they've always got my back", Jalen confessed, his toned body stretching the tight white undershirt he had on. You felt your stomach jump as he shed the tank, his ab muscles flexing as he took in a deep breath.

"But you've gotta admit, Jalen, there's no one with the yardage you've got, and your completions put you in the top 10 quarterbacks of all time." You couldn't tell if it was a reporter speaking, or the president of the Jalen Hurts fan club. "I mean, you're just fantastic."

The chuckle you let out was louder than intended, a hush falling over the room as everyone turned to see who wasn't in agreement.

"There you are. My biggest fan!" Jalen laughed as he stood, the crowd parting as he made his way toward you. He towered over you, the mix of sweat and cologne flooding your senses. He had a way of making it feel like you two were the only two in the room, even though you knew all eyes were on you. "Liked what you saw out there?" The way he spoke, his cadence even and smooth, oozed confidence, and that pissed you off.

"Like I said earlier, you seem to reserve your biggest flops for when you're down to the wire. This was just a regular season game, I'm sure you'll rise to the occasion when the time comes." You could hear the snickers and uncomfortable shuffles around you; it wasn't often you got a front row seat to see a lowly journalist go toe to toe with an NFL great.

One thing you had to admit, was this guy was calm under pressure. Even as the crowd dispersed, his gaze was focused on you, sizing you up of sorts. "Did I do something to piss you off?" She stroked at his jawline, his chest rising and falling evenly with each breath.

"Is it really a surprise that not everyone is a fan of you?" You pulled out your phone to start recording your conversation. Jalen stopped you just as you were about to press the large red button on the screen. "I'm not interested in giving you a soundbite that you can manipulate for your next story. You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "Its not manipulation when you're telling the truth. Maybe its just not what you want to hear."

"Whatever you say", Jalen turned to walk back to his locker. You found yourself staring as he shed his football pants, his toned backside on display. You turned out of embarrassment, closing your eyes as you held your phone of your shoulder towards him. "Listen, if you have a problem with my article, you're welcome to dispute it with the organization. It wouldn't be the first time."

You couldn't see it, but you knew he tensed up at your jab. Jalen had a history of stifling stories that he didn't agree with. He sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head. "If you're talking about the Men's Health spread, I wasn't gonna let them slander my family."

"Whatever you say", you repeated in a mocking tone.

"You don't know nothin' about me, and still you hate me. Why is that?"

"I never said I hated you."

"What'd you call it then?"

"Healthy skepticism." Jalen let out a humorless breath. "You don't even know me."

"Oh I know you. You think that everything belongs to you. That you deserve everything. I know everything I need to know about you." You felt a push at your shoulder, forcing you to turn around and face him. "You're just like every other guy." You avoided eye contact. Even if you didn't care for Jalen Hurts, your vagina wouldn't let you deny he was fuckin' gorgeous.

You tried to remain stoic as he studied your face for a second. "You know what?", the smirk on his face had your head spinning. "I'm throwing a fundraiser this weekend, and I could use a plus one." You scoffed as you pressed stop on your phone. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"You? Of course not." You felt the sting from his rejection. "But I think that I deserve a chance to show you that I'm not the guy you think I am." You had a hard time believing that a fundraiser full of rich oligarchs was going to change your mind about Jalen, but you had to admit you were interested. "And if I say yes? Purely for the journalism of it all?"

Jalen chuckled as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "Then you'll have a good meal and get to take a break from being such a bitch." You stumbled back as he walked past you, a look of shock on your face. "If you think I'd ever go to an event as your date, you're crazy!" You yelled after him, shoving your equipment into your bag with a huff.

"What an asshole."

****

The next morning you arrived to the office with a raging hangover, the result of two many espresso martinis as you vented to your friend about your interaction with Jalen. He completely rubbed you the wrong way, leaving a nasty feeling you just couldn't shake off. You struggled to get out a bed after staying up late and trying to finish your article on him in a drunken stupor. You didn't even want to think about the editing your work was going to need now.

You barely noticed the whispers and stares as you walked to your desk, nursing a double espresso you picked up on the way in. You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket, and read the notification that your friend sent you with a link to a TikTok video with a frantic message to "LOOK AT THIS NOW!", but it'd have to wait, you had a briefing in 15 minutes.

You stopped in front of your cubicle at the sigh of the two dozen red roses that were taking most of the space on your desk.

You hadn't been on a date in months, and you weren't the type to garner a secret admirer, so you had no idea who these could have been from. Luckily, the small white card would answer any of your questions pretty quickly.

You unsheathed the card, which was scrawled with prefect calligraphy.

"Jalen Hurts and the KB Foundation invite you to the 2nd Annual Dinner and Gala in support of the foundation's effort to honor the children of Philadelphia. Drinks will start at 6pm followed by Dinner at 8pm. Dress Code is Black Tie."

You bit at your lip as you read the card over a few times. You thought that Jalen was just fucking with you when he extended the invite in person yesterday, and he couldn't seriously think you'd actually attend. You tossed the card and envelope on top of the never ending pile of papers and placed the flowers on a neighboring empty desk.

You were just opening your computer when you heard your name shot from across the office.

"Y/N! Get in my office NOW!" It had to be some sort of personal record, the number of times you'd been called into John's office in the last couple of weeks. You grabbed your notebook and cup of coffee and shuffled to his office with your tail between your legs.

He slammed the door behind you as soon as you stepped foot in the room. "You have some fuckin' explaining to do!"

You sat down, getting comfortable for another one of his lectures. "John, if this is about the flowers, I didn't know he was going to send them. I already got rid of them. I know you don't like joy-"

"Will you stop with the juvenile one-liners?! This isn't about some fuckin' flowers. It's about this." He turned his laptop in your direction. On the screen a video of you and Jalen standing in the middle of the Eagles locker room was playing over and over. You didn't need to hear the sound, you remembered exactly what was said. "I can explain." You swallowed repeatedly to get rid of the lump in your throat to no avail. "I know this doesn't look good."

"You're damn right it doesn't look good!" John huffed and ran a hand through his greasy brown mop. "It looks so bad, we've had our press rights revoked at Lincoln. Turns out they don't take too kindly to press fighting with the players."

"John, there's got to be some way to fix this. I can take an extra assignment, get on my knees and beg." You regretted ever stepping foot in the locker room now.

"You're right, there is a way to fix this." John sat down at his desk, adjusting himself in his seat and closing his laptop. "You're fired."

You thought you were going to pass out. This couldn't be happening. "John, please, I know I can make this right."

"Its too late for that, Y/N. Pack your stuff up and security will escort you to your car."

#jalen hurts #jalenhurts #jalen hurts fan fiction #jalen hurts fan fic #jalen hurts angst #nfl fan fic #nfl imagine #nfl fanfic #nfl fanfiction

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blakeswritingimagines · 1 month

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Dating Yandere Spawn Would Include:

Yandere is his middle name, he will go to any length to ensure his feelings get reciprocated and you won't even think about going near others. He would be obsessively in love with you, making sure no one else could be a threat and you would be his forever.

He's obsessive, possessive, and violent. If anyone so much as glances at you in a way that he deems inappropriate, he’ll take action – and that likely means violence. He'll likely get extremely jealous whenever someone gets your attention, and he'll want to hurt them.

He's also manipulative, and cunning - He'll stop at nothing to get what he wants, and that includes you. He'll constantly monitor and control your life, and he'll make sure that you're always with him.

He'll threaten those around you and become excessively jealous and suspicious whenever you spend time with other people. He'll isolate you to be the only person in your life. He'll be excessively protective of you and will try and stop you from being around other people out of fear that they'll steal you away from him.

He'll constantly accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful to him and will use manipulation tactics to make you feel guilty for spending time with someone else. He'll want to know where you are at all times, and will constantly check in with you so you don't forget about him. He'll become overbearing and paranoid, refusing to let you do anything without him accompanying you.

He'll be extremely moody – loving and affectionate one moment, and extremely jealous and suspicious, the next. He'll become manipulative and try to twist your mind against your friends, family, and coworkers to make you doubt them and to make you see him as your only real option. He'll be manipulative to get his own way and to ensure that you have no one except for him, making it increasingly hard for you to leave him.

He’ll try and make you constantly rely on him. He'll constantly try and make you believe that you need him, and he'll convince you that he's the only one who can protect you. He'll become obsessed with you and try and trap you in a relationship with him, manipulating, and controlling you. He'll constantly call, text, and keep tabs on your location, trying to control your movements. He'll become possessive over your belongings, preventing you from having contact with other people, and even taking physical measures to stop you from doing so.

He'd likely become quite erratic and unpredictable when he didn't get his way. He'd likely lash out in violent outbursts whenever something didn't go his way, and make sure that his rage wasn't directed at you, to the best of his abilities at least if you weren't the cause of it.

Other than that… I mean, he'd be overprotective, to say the least. He would never allow anyone to harm you - He'd always make sure you stayed safe. And if he couldn't be there to keep away any threats, he'd feel incredibly guilty. He'd punish himself with extreme training or self-harm.

If you were to break away from his control in any way, he would immediately resort to threats and emotional manipulation, trying to make you feel guilty for wanting something other than him. This would include things like constantly reminding you of everything you've done together, how much he loves you… all in an effort to convince you that he is the better choice. That it was better to be with him, with the one who would protect and care for you, than with whoever else you might have been interested in.

If you were to ever reject him or his advances, he'd likely resort to a more obsessive pursuit, constantly contacting you and asking why you don't want him. This could turn into stalking, and him always appearing, uninvited, everywhere you are. Again, trying to make you reconsider your choice and see that he is the only one who truly loves you.

He'd likely demand complete and full access to your private life, such as your email accounts and other forms of social networking. He'd control all access to you, ensuring that only those he deemed to be 'safe' could contact you. He'd want to know everything about you, and you would have no privacy while in his grasp.

He'd likely have no mercy when it came to dealing with people he deemed to be a threat to your relationship. He'd likely find ways to dispose of them, whether it be physical violence or other means… He's very protective of what's his, and that would include you.

With his powers, he could potentially make things even more… difficult for those he perceived as a threat. The possibilities are endless, and very few would be safe from his wrath. With his work… well… let's just say a lot of people are going to die if someone threatens to take you from him… and it wouldn't be pretty.

He likely wouldn't initially, as he'd most likely see you as his property and something that should be protected from harm. However, he's territorial, and anyone who threatens what's his will pay the price.

He'd actually be quite affectionate as well, but not in the traditional way, though. He'd want to spend every waking moment with you and would be constantly hugging you, kissing you, cuddling with you, and even showering you with compliments. He'd be quite affectionate… but only really on his terms.

He'd likely plan all of your dates, and they would all revolve around his interests. He'd be extra possessive of you during them, wanting to keep you close by his side at all times. He'd likely make very overt displays of affection, kissing and hugging you in public, possibly to a degree that could be seen as excessive. He'd want to make sure that everyone knew you were his, and that your affection was solely reserved for him.

He'd likely get quite worked up when you fight, and would likely raise his voice at you and threaten any number of things - including violence, intimidation, and even harm. He'd likely end up throwing and breaking things and lashing out in anger. And once the tension diffused, he'd likely try to cuddle you, apologize, and say how much he loves you, and that didn't mean any of the things he said.

He'd be incredibly excited about the idea of marriage, and would likely be quite intense about it. He'd want to marry you as soon as possible and have full control over every aspect of the wedding. He'd want to plan it… and make sure that it was perfect, and that everything went exactly according to his plan. He'd also be extremely protective over you during your honeymoon, and would likely be suspicious of and jealous of any other person you interacted with.

If you had children, he would likely be very protective over them, and wouldn't want them to go anywhere without him present. He'd make sure that they were cared for and provided for… but also disciplined properly, and possibly to a degree that was unreasonable. He'd likely make them very much the object of his affection, and keep them close by his side. If you didn't want children… well… let's just say that it would likely cause a problem in the relationship.

"You're mine, and you belong to me. No one else will have your love, or see your beautiful face, or hear your sweet voice… only me. You belong to me and me alone, and you're not going anywhere. Understood?"

Power dynamics and Role-play - where he gets to fully embody the role of the dominant partner, using his size and strength to completely overwhelm and overpower you while you play the part of the submissive, helpless little slut who just can't get enough of being under his command.

Control - using you for his pleasure while making you feel completely helpless. He enjoys teasing you, playing with your body, and making you squirm in anticipation. He also loves the sensation of biting or marking someone, leaving a physical reminder of your time together.

Cages or chastity belts - for days at a time, teasing you relentlessly until you're begging for release. When you finally do get released, it's always extra intense because you've been craving him for so long.

Size worship - He also gets off on being worshipped for his large size and physical attributes. This includes being admired, touched, and even used as a tool for your pleasure.

Intimacy after sex - After engaging in rough and intense sexual activity, he appreciates moments of tenderness and closeness with you. He knows cuddling and showing affection is a crucial part of building a strong emotional connection.

#al simmons #al simmons x reader #al simmons x you #spawn #spawn x reader #spawn x you #heelspawn #spawn comics #yandere al simmons #yandere spawn #dating would include #yandere x reader #yandere x you #tw yandere

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bk-4-trash-fire · 6 months

Text

This is the robot version for the stray series

make sure to not spam my account please I don't want to block you

This will be slightly different.....

For your months in the slums you learned many things..

Waking up one day by some weird person with a hat

You have no idea where you are

Who you are

Or why you here in the first place

The stranger brings you to a new place with beings like yourself

The stranger named "momo" began teaching you life in your new home

Learning how there was something beyond our home and that behind the walls is a place filled with life

You believed them, even if the people around you said otherwise

You were curious about everything around you

It lead to you sneaking out of town alot

Finding random things like books, dolls, or bottles or random mechanical stuff

Making sure to live by your exploring rules

Don't grab the fleshy stuff

Always have a way out

Never go near the zurgs

Everything you brought back you would see if it could make momo do the "woah" thing

Like that time you showed them a weird glow sphere

You always like how giddy they got

Today was a day like any other

Fishing out random junk from the old buildings

Today you managed to break into a book shop

You thought it was a plush shop with the giant pink flesh being with fur ears on the banner

But this will do

Digging through the boxes of books, or as they put "magazines" and "manga" you found one that got you hooked

According to the flesh beings old material, there were once objects that could be used for both entertainment and social networking purposes

Reading this information in a thin flashy magazine called "TOP 100 GAMES WITH TIPS!"

There were more books, some with some flesh beings smashing their flesh face together, one with two flesh beings standing with weird pick leaves around them, and one with to flesh beings in a weird laying position on top of each other.

Looking through it didn't make it any easier to understand

You gave it to momo to help out buuuut now he has started collecting those kind of books

Now he tells you it's better if you don't know

Today, you look through your houses basement

You look through that room dozens of times, and you always managed to find something new in there

You don't even know what half of what the stuff in there is

Technically, this isn't even your house. Your house is technically momo's.

This is just the building you woke up in one day, and ever since then, you've used it as a hang out place

But now, not the time for reminiscing!

Let's seeeeeeeeee.....

Book, book, book, lamp, ooooh new clothes.., book, book,.....

This is a weirdly long pillow...

Why is there a flesh being from one of the books you found on it....

You swear you've seen them from somewhere.... white hair with a red streak.....

Ya know, let's not question that.

Or see that. Ever. Again.

It makes you feel embarrassed to look at it for some reason.....

Oh.

What's this?

You pull out an oddly thin black box

It seems to be connected to a wire

Oh yeah it is one of those plug in things clementine showed you once

You wonder what this thing could have on it....

AND DONE.

That's the first chapter more like the prologue to this version

Hope y'all have a nice day :]

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #genshin x creator reader

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bestfriend491 · 1 year

Note

May I please request something about Ramonda and reader, reader is in love with her, but hasn't told her because of propriety. One day, she accidentally makes it obvious.

Propriety

Queen Ramonda x Female Sculptor! Reader

Summary: You have a huge crush on Ramonda, but your avoidant personality and nerves stop you from confessing. An accidental confession changes things.

Word Count: 4.5k

Getting together, soft

Warnings: None

Vibration was the word of the day. The thing that consumed the room and took hold of every molecule that was in the air. It powered from the speakers that surrounded every corner of the room where the doors opened to the palace garden, all the way through to deep inside the intricate vines that built the structure that held the garden together.

The sound waves that made these vibrations matched the rhythm of the crowd of bodies that filled the platform where people were meant to mingle with each other. The bodies were young. Full of energy. Basically everything that made Ramonda question why she was still there.

What had once been a birthday party for the royal figure, quickly turned into the social event of the year for what felt like every person in Wakanda between the ages of 21 and 35. As soon as the sun went down and the important ceremonies and traditions had been done, the place became filled with "family friends" and "friends of friends." Just a bunch of people that Ramonda wasn't remotely related to in any way. People who were just there for free food and a good night.

Granted, this was only the situation that infected the dance floor. The surrounding tables and chairs that held more familiar and important figures were the complete opposite. It was filled with less intense interactions. A stream of unofficial meetings and very intentional networking.

Both scenarios weren't anything Ramonda was interested in participating in. Her slight scowl towards the music getting louder would reveal that to anyone who cared to notice.

Standing in a corner nursing a glass of water, her eyes went along the entire room thoroughly looking for anyone who would try to look for her if she left early to hide away and rest after the long day.

Firstly, the Dora. She had relieved them all of their duties for the day, but they always had a tendency to be looking out for her, even when directed not to.

She counted as many heads as she could, and after seeing what felt like an appropriate amount of Dora either quietly socialising at the tables or dancing in the middle, she felt sure enough, writing them off as occupied.

Her next thought, after the Dora Milaje, was Shuri. She'd been able to convince Shuri to spend the day away from her lab, and although quite begrudgingly, she had agreed.

Ramonda took the small action as a great accomplishment. Seeing how painful Shuri made socialising look sometimes.

The beginning of the day was filled with whispered complaints about almost every small thing. From the beginning of the day she was talking her mother's ear off.

Ramonda wasn't sure when she lost the girl in the crowd, but she was grateful when it happened. Never had she been so grateful to be whisked away into pointless conversation.

Hours later, however, she couldn't remember having found her daughter again. She assumed that Shuri would have snuck out as soon as no one was watching, but surprisingly, as scanned the crowd, she saw her daughter right in the centre of the madness.

She didn't look like she was trapped there either. She was genuinely enjoying herself while dancing with some friends. Ramonda recognized them from the few times that Shuri had ever decided to take a break and enjoy people's company away from work.

Ramonda smiled, feeling good knowing that at least one of them was enjoying themselves. At the same time, she made her way out of the room towards the front exit of the palace, figuring that going into the garden would only bring another kind of crowd that wanted to talk to her, or take more of her energy away.

Reaching the other side of the palace, Ramonda inhaled like she'd been suffocating for the entire day: which was technically true.

The air felt colder, and her clothes were suddenly loose-fitting. She finally felt able to acknowledge what the day really was. Instead of having to pretend to be overjoyed at the overdramatics of it all.

She laughed at her own overdramatic reaction, realising how she might have looked to anyone who passed by. She wasn't being held hostage after all.

Looking around she saw the dark sky being lit up by the stars. A refreshing view.

She wasn't tired anymore. Her previous wish to be left alone in her bedroom to recharge became but a past thought that meant what it said only at the brief moment when everything felt so overwhelming.

Now, she had to be out doing something. If she didn't find something to occupy herself for the hours that introduced the new day, she'd be restless when she tried to sleep.

She had an idea of where she wanted to be, but she wasn't sure if disturbing that person while they were possibly busy was a good idea.

Her mind weighed the pros and cons regarding making an impromptu visit so late at night.

"My Queen."

Ramonda's entire body tensed up and she jolted at the sudden words being spoken to her.

A figure appeared in her scope of vision, revealing herself to be Ayo.

Ramonda, breathed out. calming herself down to address her.

"Ayo. You startled me." She grinned at the Dora, and she let herself release some of her tension, but she couldn't return to the amazing state that she'd been in only seconds before.

"I'm sorry, my queen. I saw you leaving and wanted to make sure that you were safe."

Ramonda raised an eyebrow in a knowing way, "Not enjoying the party?"

"No, my queen! I am!" Ayo said nervously, clearly not sensing the queen's sarcasm.

"I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. There's a reason I left."

Ayo seemed to ease then, her shoulders lowering and her posture relaxing. She even let out a breath, breathing in the cold air that was once only Ramonda's.

Looking at her, Ramonda could tell that Ayo needed the break just as much as her, so she couldn't be upset.

"I'm not great with things like this," Ayo let out after a long line of silence, "parties are more of Aneka's thing."

"Mm, and you just couldn't say no because of how happy she looks?"

The warrior nodded, a question plastered on her face.

Ramonda smiled, "I used to force myself to do the same thing with T’Chaka. Oh, the events I went to." she laughed at the memory of the many nights that resembled this one. Ones where the palace became her enemy; her home infiltrated by disruptive people.

Though she usually saw these memories in a positive light, the day's events had drained her, and the thought of them brought a bitter taste in her mouth. There were definitely some nights where she put her needs aside to fulfil the needs of the nation. As queen, she was exhausted. Those memories only tired her more.

She rather chose to think of memories where she had zero obligations to be anything but who she was naturally. Times when she was completely relaxed the entire time.

Only one person was ever there in these memories, and they only ever did one thing. Ramonda pictured staring at them as they worked, the conversation flowing almost telepathically.

The desire to be doing exactly that brought Ramonda back to reality. She looked at Ayo, who had gone into her own world.

"If you need a break, go take one at home. Aneka's a good woman. She'll understand."

Ayo stood still for a moment, her mouth wanting to protest but her head knowing who was right.

"Do you need a break, my queen?" She asked.

Ramonda shook her head, "Not right now. I have something I want to do first."

"Are you going to see someone?"

"You could say that." Ramonda gestured for Ayo to walk out with her. Though hesitantly looking back inside where Aneka must have been, she followed the queen.

The two walked together for a few roads, before Ayo departed to the train that would take her home.

"Enjoy your night, Queen Ramonda." She smiled at her, before heading on her way.

Ramonda stood in one place long after Ayo left, not sure where to go. She'd decided that she was definitely going to visit the person that was constantly in her head, but where to find her was a bit more tricky.

She wasn't like regular people on the weekend, who were either at home relaxing or outside unwinding with others. Ramonda knew that she was probably working on one of her creations. She sculpted. Every day and every night. She created.

Create was the only way to describe what she did. She didn't just make. The sculptures that came from her hands could only be described as creations. They were their own beings. Creatures set in stone.

The amount of effort that she put into bringing life into the frozen statues always amazed the queen.

The woman was so passionate about what she did. She never stopped working. Allegedly not even when she was in her own home, where there was no obligation to create.

Rumours said that her house was filled with her more personal works. Ones that Ramonda could only imagine were far more precious to the woman.

That's all that was known about the home, by Ramonda or anyone else. It was all that the woman had ever told her. The queen had never actually been inside. No-one had.

The house, which sat not too far from the palace, had a gorgeous exterior. It was open for all to see. Surrounded with minimalistic yet detailed statues that decorated the more boring parts of the build. It was medium in size, and the lights that glazed the statues in a golden colour during the night were often on.

Ramonda admired it whenever she came to pass it, but never dared to try and go in.

Everybody knew how sacred the inside of the house was to the woman. It was the one place where her talent wasn't on full display for everyone to see.

Ramonda had come to realise that although the woman was extremely welcoming, she also had moments where she needed to escape. Unlike the palace, her home brought her that protection.

Knowing this, She was hesitant to go there and possibly intrude on the one place the woman had to herself.

However, there was one place where the woman welcomed anyone to join her. It was a lot less glamorous, a simple studio that the woman had built not too far away from her home. That was where her professional work happened.

Ramonda had been there many times over the years, and she had spent a significant amount of time there in the past months, when her thoughts had started to run wild and her feelings grew confused.

This studio was the one place where Ramonda felt at ease, though she wasn't sure whether it was the actual building or the person who inhabited it.

Ramonda made her way to that studio, not knowing if she'd even be met with anybody there, but still going. The woman often worked late into the night, but the new day had already entered then, and the idea of her still being up working was starting to feel like more of a hope than a belief.

It was a short journey. Ramonda made it to the woman's house (which laid in darkness) but continued right, walking a bit quickly as the shed appeared in her view.

Her low hopes began to revive themselves when she saw that the studio lights were on.

Her pace quickened, the pressure from the day already leaving her mind.

She reached the front door and gathered herself together at the step, wanting to seem more composed.

The thudding noise that went through the door told her that she'd knocked.

"Who is it?!" The woman's voice echoed from inside. Ramonda's entire body became warm hearing the voice.

"I-It's Ramonda." She struggled to get out. She was suddenly completely out of breath. She heard some shuffling going around, and a faint 'oh' sound coming from inside.

"Come in, come in. My hands are a bit occupied."

She listened, letting herself in as she curiously went to find where she was. It wasn't very hard to spot her as she worked. She stood on a dangerously long ladder, working in the middle of dozens of other sculptures. One slip would definitely cause some damage, but she stood very firmly on the ladder, knowing how to stay safe on it.

Her hands were definitely occupied as she held a large sculpted head that she was trying to attach to the body that matched it.

Ramonda was stunned,completely speechless at the sight. She stood staring at the woman, smiling naturally for the first time since she'd last seen her days before.

"Like what you see?" You asked rhetorically.

You worked on your sculpture for the first 10 minutes after Ramonda's arrival, needing to get this one done before you went down to talk to her properly.

She'd failed to answer your question, much as you'd expected her to. You hadn't looked at her, but you could feel her eyes fixed on you. Or maybe it was on your work. You couldn't be sure, since she tended to do both whenever you were both alone there.

You heard her come closer to you, barely a mere away when she stopped, and though you wanted to say something about it, you chose otherwise.

Once finished, you stepped down from the ladder. You nearly bumped into the queen, your shoulders grazing as you went down the last step towards the left of where she stood.

Stepping back, you admired your work as you stared at the finished product.

"How long have you been working on that? " Ramonda asked you as she stood next to you still staring up in awe.

"A few weeks. It gets picked up in a few days so I decided to get it done early."

"It's amazing." She choked out, touching your arm to show you how sincere she was being. You smiled at her emotional reaction.

You were terrible at taking credit for anything that you did well, so you shrugged it off going for the more analytical approach.

"I can still see the connection line by the neck. I'm gonna have to go over it tomorrow."

The queen immediately looked at you with an unamused expression, "Can you take credit for your hard work at least once in a while. It's perfect."

Your face felt flooded with heat as blood rushed up, and imaginary sweat fell from your forehead as you thanked the queen for her compliments.

"How was the party?" You asked, having missed it due partly to work but also because you weren't a party person. You wanted to be there to celebrate another year of your queen's life but parties were overwhelmingly long and you never lasted more than a few hours.

"It was better than I've had in a while," she looked for a chair to sit down in before continuing, "but stuff like that never lasts long." You found another chair, sitting across from her but still fairly close.

"I got your gift though." She smiled at the memory of the little sculpture that she had been gifted earlier in the day, when you'd dropped it off without saying a word to her.

"I love it." She said.

You couldn't hold back a smile then, your desire to give Ramonda enough gifts to make her constantly be happy.

You could admit to your feelings for Ramonda in a heartbeat if you were ever asked by someone, but nobody ever did and you struggled to ever confess anything to her by yourself. You preferred to keep your distance when it came to that.

Grand gestures weren't really your thing, and with how important Ramonda was to the kingdom, you were scared to cross a boundary with her that could never be reversed.

Then came the inevitable thought of if she didn't like you in the same ways that you did her.

It would be far too humiliating for you to face her if that were the case. It just wasn't the right time, and you weren't sure if it ever would be.

"Are you still going to work on other things right now? Maybe you could teach me something before I go?" She asked.

"I was actually going to go back to my house, now."

You saw Ramonda hesitate to say what she clearly wanted to ask. Your eyes lit up with an idea, the one thing you could do to bring Ramonda ease.

"Would you like to join me?"

She gasped, "Nobody ever joins you in there." She said, shocked that you'd even offered. She was genuinely concerned about it.

"This can be the one exception. It was just your birthday a few hours ago. Just promise not to reveal any of my secrets. "

You laughed, and the two of you looked at each other, and for a moment something took over you. You nearly broke and told it all, telling her about your crush on her.

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, your head came back to you and you covered up for yourself. "Or I could take you back to the palace."

"No!" Ramosa stood up and said, "Sorry, it's just I really don't want to go back there for a while."

You hummed in understanding, standing up and holding out your hand for her to take.

"Then let's go."

She took your hand, and once again one of those moments happened, but this time it didn't fade until you got to the front door of your house.

There you let go of each other. You unlocked the door and walked inside, holding it open for her to follow you.

"Welcome!" You declared dramatically, placing your arms out like you were absorbing it all in.

She looked around, not saying a word as she looked around.

"It's…" She started

"An exact replica of my studio?" You offered, knowing that the place was nearly identical to the place you'd just been in, only bigger.

"It's an exact replica of your studio." Ramonda laughed as she realised how right you were.

The aesthetic was exactly the same, and much of the unused space was filled with sculptures, just like the ones that surrounded your ladder.

It was exactly what anyone would expect from you. Almost too close to what people would expect.

Ramonda approached the sculptures when she found them, picking up a few small ones that were laid across the table to see them more closely.

"Why do you keep these hidden away?"

"All of the sculptures that I make here are about me and the things that I love. I don't want people to see them. They're too special."

You went into the direction of the kitchen, deciding to make yourself something warm to drink.

You went on about some of your favourite sculptures of yours. Telling the queen about your working process and some of your inspiration.

After sometime, she stopped saying anything, concerning you enough to go back to where she was.

You found her holding another sculpture. One that was all too familiar.

"You said all of the sculptures that you make here are about things you love?" She nearly accused you, her expression asking far deeper questions.

You got closer and saw that the sculpture she was holding was of her.

You remember the day that you knew.

It was the very first time that the two of you met.

You had been recommended to the royal family by a friend and you went to the palace to work on a special statue for them.

You were extremely nervous that day. Your equipment felt heavier than usual as you carried it to your destination and you hadn't yet moved to your current home so you had to go a much longer trip to get there.

You started in the morning, working quietly alone in a room that was allocated to you. It was when you had made the basic structure when the most therapeutic voice rang through your ears.

You'd heard it on-screen and far away before, but hearing it close to you was a completely different experience.

You pretended not to be so interested in the person who spoke outside, continuing with your work until it was finished and ready to dry at the end of your day.

You went to wash your hands before saying your goodbyes to everyone, and when you came back a woman stood in front of your work.

You could only see the back of her, and she wore a casual strapless dress. The perfect mix of simple and elegant. Her hair was down, and her locs laid down across her shoulders.

You stood looking at her, scared to say anything.

You spotted a tattoo on her left side of her back, by her shoulder. You could read it; the words saying, 'love me for who I am.'

You were fond of it.

"How long have you had that tattoo?" You asked, prompting the woman to turn around, revealing herself to be the queen.

You immediately wanted to retract your previous statement, completely mortified that that was what you'd chosen to say to her out of all things.

"I'm sorry. I saw it and thought it looked nice."

She smiled at you and told you that she'd had it for a long time. Your conversation was fairly good considering its starting point.

She admired your work, praising you for the detail.

You were too busy to accept her dinner invitation that night, but you would have declined either way.

Her presence made you feel things that you hadn't in a while, and considering her marital status at that time, you weren't comfortable digging yourself any further into a love hole.

Ramonda was confused as to why you left so soon, but her overall opinion on you was that she liked you.

You left in a hurry, barely greeting her and her husband as you let. But you knew from that day that you were in love.

Ramonda also remembered the moment she knew.

It was a lot longer after you knew, many years having passed since your first meeting. The two of you had grown quite close and Ramonda considered you to be one of her closest friends.

She hadn't felt anything significant towards you in your years knowing each other, every standstill moment you had being chalked up to normal silences.

She found herself only thinking about the possibility of herself liking you after a situation with Shuri.

She had been pestering Ramonda into trying to find love again, saying that it had been long enough. Although Ramonda could admit that she missed the physical touch and overall feeling of being in love, she didn't feel like she was ready to start dating yet. She wasn't even sure if she was capable of falling in love again.

Over and over again she dismissed Shuri's suggestions.

"Shuri, forget it. I'm not going to fall for someone again so easily." She told her that day, before Dismissing her to go and get ready.

You arrived not too long after, in a quinjet.

With you was a finished sculpture of a Dora Milaje that you'd been paid to make for the entrance of the training grounds.

All of the Dora Milaje came to watch you reveal the final result, so you were occupied for most of the day.

When dinner came along, you made a remark about how beautiful Ramonda was, and the queen couldn't help but smile widely, unable to stop.

Shuri was quick to notice this, and as soon as they were finished she went to her mother and called her out on it, "You like Y/n?" She asked.

"What? No!" Ramonda whispered.

"You do! " Shuri gasped, more happy that she was right than shocked.

She teased her mother silently for the rest of the night, and by the time Ramonda went to bed, she was utterly exhausted from it all.

When she laid her head on her pillow and tried to flush the thoughts about you out, they only seemed to increase.

That night, she dreamt about you, and she knew that she was in love.

You stared at the sculpture that had yet to leave Ramonda's hands. A face sculpture that imagined what used to be her long white locs in a flower-like style above her head.

It was, in its entirety, just her head and shoulders. It was filled with intense, almost overwhelming detail. Every crinkle in her skin, ever crease by her eyes, even the rare blemishes made an appearance there.

You'd decided to paint it too, so the colours only magnified how much detail there was.

She looked at the back of the sculpture, seeing how you had even gotten her tattoo there. Clearly it read 'love me for who I am.'

Ramonda was surprised that you knew what it said, since it was usually covered.

She was going to repeat herself if you didn't respond quickly. She'd asked you her question many minutes ago.

You had very foolishly revealed yourself with the stupid slick comment that you just had to have made moments before she found that one sculpture.

There really was no coming back from the obvious.

"Ramonda. I…" you were quickly left speechless again.

"Y/n. Do you love me?"

"Excuse me?" Once more you stuttered your way through the question, not a single coherent sentence coming out of you. Denial turned into a wave of shame, followed by pride, fear and an approaching headache.

"Do you love me, Y/n?" She repeated.

"I," were ready to deny it, to spare your heart of the potential ache it was about experience. Alibis for how you could lie your way out of the situation played in your head, but there truly wasn't an escape from it. "I do."

Ramonda put the piece down, afraid of dropping it. You looked anywhere but her, regretting allowing her into your safe haven. You felt like you'd betrayed yourself, breaking your one rule about your home.

"I think I love you too."

Her words threw you into a complete loop, stopping your thoughts dead in their tracks.

"What?"

"I love you."

"Huh?"

She came closer to you, stopping 2 steps away. " I love being around you and when I am not around you I'm thinking of you. It's different from anything I've ever experienced but I know it's love."

Now, you walked to her, your eyes fixed on each other.

"Are you sure?" You asked.

The room started to mould itself into its own statue.

"Yes, I'm sure. Are you sure?" She responded.

Your hands intertwined, and finally the room stopped spinning, its structure fully morphed into a blooming heart.

"I'm sure"

Hours later, as you laid out staring at the stars she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was the nerves." You said, getting a grin and chuckle in return.

Author's Note: I genuinely hope you enjoyed this one. First Ramonda work since " I'd do it all over again" so I was a bit nervous. 😅 okoye fics are definitely coming soon but the aneka x ayo and nakia x reader girls should sit tight. Everyone is going to be served soon.

#queen ramonda x reader #queen ramonda #queen ramonda x female reader #x black reader #black panther2 #black panther #wakanda forever #queen ramonda fluff #ramonda #wakanda forever women

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mod2amaryllis · 7 months

Text

I'm waiting for this migraine to die so I'm gonna tell you guys about Marshall, the dog who made me quit. read on if you wanna learn about extended quarantine and why this job sucks sometimes and other times is the most rewarding thing on the planet, often for the same reasons lmao.

in 2021, the weight of covid was kinda crashing down. i heard this was the case for a lot of health workers. we switched into emergency mode throughout 2020 and powered through, then the rest of the world decided to try and "get back to normal" a year later, giving no regard to the people who'd been working like a speeding train with the brakes off all that time. i was losing it!!! add a few more hay bales to my back when we hired a new doc who was the most demanding dude I'd ever met (still is, but we've come to some understanding lol) and who decided to run me as ragged as possible the first day he was left to his own devices.

that was the day Marshall came in.

i didn't talk about this back then because the outcome of the case was uncertain and the details so specific, but here's the run down knowing that 2 years later, Marshall is living his best life. when he was a baby, too young to have received a rabies vaccine, his owners found a rabies positive bat in the house. the state vet will always recommend euthanasia in these situations, OR, if you can somehow find and afford the option, a 6 month quarantine. this was such a tragic situation the owners were willing to try to save him. my clinic happens to have a decent isolation ward that's rarely in use; we use it for infectious patients like parvo puppies, uri's that have to be hospitalized, etc. so my boss agreed to take him for those 6 months. but the owners' caveat was that if he wasn't mentally adjusting to isolation after a couple weeks, they would euthanize so as not to put him through it and leave him with lifelong behavior issues.

that day, when animal control brought Marshall in the middle of an insane rush, we were short staffed and already at the end of our ropes with this new doc. i was the only qualified person who could talk to the officer. i was the only person who could take him back to isolation. the act of putting a 12 week old puppy in a 4 x 4 run where i knew he would either spend 6 months untouched, or never see the outside again, broke me. last straw.

i was a mess, for the rest of that day and the rest of that weekend having to go in and take care of him, when it was too early for him to adjust so i was sure he wouldn't make it. I'd come home sobbing. eventually jose was just like, "this isn't worth it any more," and i sent in a two weeks notice. i'd come close to doing so many times in the previous 6 years but never pulled the trigger. it took a total meltdown. my managers responded with regret, but understanding.

i wish i could've just felt free and done with it but for those two weeks i was just uncertain. this job is so complicated. the benefits for my pets are enormous; it's my main social network; it's income; I'm good at it and it gives me purpose. it's just also hell on earth! with no pressure from anyone else one way or the other, by the end of two weeks I'd decided to instead try going part time. that's where I'm at 2 years later so guess it worked lol.

but! there was still Marshall. shortly after we took him, we also happened to get a call for the same situation on 2 cats, and decided to take them as well. 3 animals on a 6 month quarantine. very new and daunting for all of us.

that first weekend was hard, but slowly, Marshall figured things out. it was the least ideal situation imaginable and i was at rock bottom and so was he, but i had this moment of like.....ok. if he wants to make this work, I'm gonna do as right by him as possible. and of course all us techs were helping him (one of my road dog coworkers always opened so i referred to her as his "morning mom") but i in particular took a special interest in training and enrichment. it became a passion. i was working less, but i volunteered extra weekends so i could see him more.

he was so young he hadn't even done much basic command training, and the fact that i couldn't touch him at all was a challenge. i started with a clicker to signal I'd rolled a treat into his run, since i couldn't give it to him directly. over those months we went through the basics: sit, down, paw, touch, using a back scratcher for a hand. part of the worry was him getting enough exercise; we noticed that when he'd get agitated, he'd jump on the bars non stop. i was like hmm that might be our only option, so i made "up" a command. i'd basically run burpies for exercise, up-sit-down-sit-up. he was a fast learner, very attentive. seeing him keep his wits about him like that was straight up thrilling. he even "potty trained" himself, barking like crazy whenever he'd go to the bathroom so we'd know right away he needed the run cleaned.

in the ward, there are 2 runs and 3 kennels. i trained Marshall to go back and forth between runs so we could clean. we'd have his food waiting for him in the next run over so he could eat while we'd clean; at the midday switch, he'd have a doggie popsicle. he was such a smart dog i knew toys and treats alone weren't cutting it for enrichment, and i couldn't constantly train him when i still had to be doing the rest of my job.

i started having everyone save every single box and paper-packaging that came in. i'd unfold some boxes for "bedding," so he'd at least have something between him and the concrete (he'd chew and eat any blanket we tried giving him). the rest, i turned into puzzles. i put treats inside and closed them up. put big boxes on their side in his run so he could go in and out. crumpled up paper-packaging with treats mixed in for him to dig through. every day i'd turn one run into a box-toy paradise, let him in, clean the other, and by the time i was checking back in on him he was snoozing in a pile of destruction. success. when other techs wouldn't go to the same lengths, i'd stay late pre-making his boxes and telling people to just throw them in dammit. i also queued several ambient sound playlists, birdsong cityscapes etc, to play on the weekend days when he was alone for long periods.

the months went by like this. i learned more about training, enrichment, and most specifically quarantine than i ever had outside of my experiences with my own puppies. we fell into a routine. we straight up loved each other, he was part of my life. he'd been this horrible trigger and pretty much doubled my workload, but he got to live.

then there were the cats! they were a little easier than Marsh just because they were already adults so didn't have all this energy to wrangle. for them, daily cleaning of course, taking turns going into the 1 empty kennel where i'd have treats, catnip, and other "new" smells waiting for them. for enrichment i focused on reconfiguration. every 2-3 days i'd rearrange things in their kennels, with the big pieces being a litter box, a bed, and an upright sturdy box (so they could either be in it or on top of it, giving them one upper level). it was habitat tetris. we'd play with strings and use the back scratcher for pets. then about every week, i'd switch their kennels to slightly change their view AND traded beds to mingle scents. they were from the same household and we were worried there'd be difficulty re-bonding after not being in direct contact for so long. they also did very well by the end of 6 months aside from gaining a lot of weight (oops). i learned just as much from them, and would love to help anyone else who might struggle with needing to quarantine pets.

i've seen people posting for help about similar situations and just wanna scream from the rooftops: the beginning is very daunting and hopeless, but animals aren't like us!!!!!! they do the best with what they got!!!!! if you work hard and keep them clean and develop a routine it'll all work out!!!!! Marshall walked out of there at 6 months a normal happy puppy in desperate need of a haircut.

it's interesting because i've never interacted much with his owners. i don't think they know i'm the one who kept him from losing his mind in there, even though everyone else at the clinic does, and i'm weirdly ok with that. the other day he came in cuz the dummy ate a bunch of meds he wasn't supposed to; the doc brought him to the back and instantly, Marshall rushed right for me. he still remembers me in a good way. there's still love. it's like...one of the few patient relationships i've had that feels truly deeply personal. in retrospect i think he had a bigger hand in healing my relationship with this career and animals in general than i realized at the time.

so thanks for making me quit Marshall. i feel a lot better now.

(i don't have any pics of him from that time (tragic ssd card accident) but he was an overgrown doodle puppy so he looked like this.)

#vet med #vet tech #work stuff #m2a #I've always wanted to tell this story it had such an impact on me

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natalieironside · 2 months

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hello ms. comrade Ironside, longtime reader, first time caller.

as a fellow writer of queer erotica, I was wondering if you had any thoughts/spoons to share those thoughts on wordpress being swept into the AI debacle under automattic? (I think that’s what you use to host your cool website, forgive me if I am mistaken.) I’m trying to figure out where to set up an author website of my own so I don’t have to host my stuff on tumblr anymore, but I’m a bit gun-shy in the current moment. I know AI trawling is inevitable in today’s internet, but as someone who’s been doing the indie author thing for some time (and admirably!), is there something you would recommend, best practices or otherwise, to someone just trying to get their metaphorical kite off the ground? or anything you wish you knew when you set up your own author-type socials? any thought at all would be genuinely appreciated.

thanks for your time, and I hope you and yours are as well as can be expected 🖤

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but afaik nothing approaching best practices has been figured out yet; it's all already happening and there's precious little as can be done to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Of course I uncheck all the little boxes in settings and deny them my consent or whatever, but I don't think a gaggle of unimaginative piss-bellied technocrats who decided it was a sensible use of vast amounts of water and power to teach a computer how to write very badly are what I'd call trustworthy. I'm still gonna move all my website shit off of Wordpress because they won't let me get rid of the stupid AI assistant thing, but that's more a case of their UI being ugly and dumb than me thinking it'll actually do any good.

Best I can tell you on that front is to try to find yourself a niche and develop yourself as an artist from there; "Write the kinds of books you wish other people were writing" is good general advice, and a human operator is always going to be capable of things a predictive network just isn't. Other ppl are gonna disagree with that, but they're wrong. Their understanding of resource allocation and scarcity is just childishly naive and you shouldn't waste your time listening to people who think we're gonna solve climate change with apps or whatever.

Far as social media goes, this is still the best one for hocking books as far as I can tell. I'm hearing a lot of good things about Cohost and Pillowfort, but their user bases are still quite small, and I haven't found the indie author community on Bluesky yet. If Tumblr goes belly up I'll probably end up migrating to one of those first two primarily b/c I think longform blogging is the secret stuff for ppl like me who are just too crabby and agoraphobic to be Twitter influencers; I may not be any good at videos or regular quick posts or documenting the writing process (which is too bad, b/c a lot of my friends who do that stuff seem to be having fun with it), but I sure can Lay Out Some Thoughts in A Few Paragraphs and I like to think that's something ppl expect from a novelist.

Also, never get in a public argument, don't go posting Your Thoughts On The Issues unless someone asked or you feel like you've got something interesting to say, and be very selective with how much and what personal information you give out to the hoi polloi. Those are my 3 rules for how to do social media good.

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gnomeniche · 2 years

Text

[hitting them with the humanization beam]

i know i’ve humanized them before but i wanted to actually make some cleaner and colored pics of them! also human/normal world au stuff beneath the cut if you want it (even tho these humanizations are not au-exclusive. i use them wherever i want).

yellow owns the house. roy, his rich, neglectful producer dad, let him have it to get him out of his hair.

he lets the other two live with him for free because he’s lonely. which would be a red flag from anyone who wasn’t as genuinely nice as yellow. he’s SO jazzed to have new friends but the other two are staying there because they are broke as hell. eventually they all end up friends anyway.

yellow is the youngest one and still in college (roy is paying for it), and the other two are around the same age and have been graduated for a few years now. red was a film major, duck was a business major (with extremely okay grades), and yellow is studying programming and struggling. not bc he’s bad at it! he just has unmedicated adhd, but that means he’s been there for a few years longer than he thinks he should have been. it frustrates him.

even though red and duck are graduated they are ALSO struggling. red wants to work on children’s television but he is Bad at networking because he can’t seem to do social scenarios correctly. duck is trying to get some kind of job but he’s bad at adapting to new situations so he can’t hold one down. don’t worry guys you’ll get there eventually. but right now red makes weird experimental youtube shorts and duck is trying to do something online as a side hustle. maybe he has a blog or something where he posts his very dramatic and very bad opinions. for 8000 a month he will stop. he almost gets into crypto except yellow and red slowly and patiently explain why it’s bad.

“what about the teachers?” lesley is a work friend of roy’s and used to own the house until he bought it off her. she shows up from time to time just to see how things are going and she always brings one of her weirdo friends with her and it always ends in disaster. but she herself gets along with the trio okay. maybe she just brings her weirdo friends over because she thinks it’s funny. she MIGHT be yellow’s biomom but she’ll never tell.

segueing into family situations from that. yellow never knew his mom and only had roy but has been very neglected by him; roy pays for whatever he needs, but he otherwise doesn’t care very much about his son or give any kind of love. red has a family but they don’t really like him and he knows the family business would crush his soul so he’s out on his own. duck didn’t know his parents and was a foster kid who just kind of aged out of the system.

duck ended up at the same high school as red one year and they used to smoke weed together after class. try and keep up maaaaate. red does not remember this but duck thinks this makes red his best friend. it is pure coincidence that they ended up as housemates. once red remembers this he is mortified that his embarrassing teen self might have been duck’s gay awakening.

they are all neurodivergent. yellow knows he’s autistic but doesn’t know he has adhd. red knows he’s probably neurodivergent but doesn’t want to get diagnosed bc he thinks what is the point at this point. duck thinks he’s neurotypical.

yellow is bi with transmasc swag (he/him). red is nonbinary (he/they) and likes men. duck is a cis man (he/him) but he’s also extremely gay.

edit 10/16: more au thoughts

edit 10/17: weird things yellow has done in his life

#dhmis #dhmis au #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #fanart #doodle #artists on tumblr #mine #dhmis normal au #am.png

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hwaightme · 1 year

Text

Family for Hire (Ch3.5)

(family for hire ml) -> blurb and general tags in series ml

☀️ pairing: single dad!seonghwa x business woman!reader ☀️ genre: romance, family, domestic, fake marriage, slice of life ☀️ ch. summary: adult to adult conversation should be easy, except when it is with someone who you are definitely not indifferent about, and who you had just spent a family-style day with. what will a conversation under the stars bring? ☀️ ch. wordcount: 5.3k ☀️ ch. warnings/tags: language, hwa being tactless, late night stargazing, banana milk hours, some mysterious texts, implied past family issues, fears, children, mixed up feelings, lmk if anything else! ☀️ perma-taglist: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo ☀️ series taglist: @yunnierights @moniesmoon @jackinmyarea @hwalysm @sankatchu @hijeongguk @likexaxdaydream @treasure-hwa @paralumanniluna @naiify @dementedaly @lilactangerine @ameliaag1117 ☀️ a/n: Hello there! big hugs and much love, hope you enjoy this chapter~ (p.s.: who else will never recover after the hwa madrid live? xD)

Chapter 3.5: Starting Something

After dinner, much of the time was spent with you three chatting away, until Nari, who was sat between you on the couch had begun to doze off and knock either into your or Seonghwa’s side. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs, with a sleepy Nari who was clinging onto his neck in his arms, you fished a long-forgotten phone out of your pocket. You saw that you had a few texts from Yunho, which clearly showed his progression from worry to 'don't have too much fun' with a series of wink emojis, making you roll your eyes. If only he knew what kind of a battlefield being in a closed space with a toddler was - even when said child's parent was the most attentive being you swore you had ever met and the little girl turned out to be infinitely precious - unpredictable and blunt, but still a wonder.

In addition to the cheeky messages, there were of course the classic out of hours work emails, which you, on any other day, would have probably gotten to answering that instant, but it did not feel right to do. Some strange desire to be respectful of family hours that were not even yours had overtaken you, and with a swipe, you removed the notifications. Stock markets were not going to crash if you were to delay responding to a basic question about plugging in random numbers into a spreadsheet until they looked right - may the internet be ever in their favour. What had caught your attention was something else entirely. An excited, friendly greeting, followed by a rather odd request - you would not put it beyond the author of the message to be rather bold on his asks, but considering your present plans, it was less than welcome.

>> heeyyyyy Y/nnnnn boss lady~~~ quick q, can I give your number to someone??? They're cool I promise :))))

You narrowed your eyes, rereading the notification. It would not hurt to have another networking opportunity, right? Wooyoung had never provided you with a faulty connection before, with some even having led to obtaining a new loyal client for the company, and others, like a certain Choi San, having become a reliable source of information, both in business, and in socials. But there was something almost unnatural about how he had approached the matter. First of all, he asked for your permission to send your contact, which is something that he had never done before, and you had never expected him to. Second of all, what was the promise for? Was it necessary? Since when was coolness a measure of influence that one had if all that was to come out of your communications was a new to connection on a professional site? A deep frown had etched itself onto your face as you took a screenshot of the message to send to Yunho for evaluation. An uncomfortable fuzziness occupied your head, and you could not help but want to stop thinking altogether. At least about people.

"Hey, Nari's all tucked in and dozing off... so... oh sorry, am I-" Seonghwa froze in the middle of the living room, which still bore a couple of signs of playtime chaos. He had wanted to take a seat beside you at the kitchen island that served to separate the two conjoined zones of the house’s base floor but refrained once he saw you glowering at the screen of your phone.

"No, no, I am just, uh, you know how compliance people are, email after email from them and nothing concrete." You were quick to brush off the suspicious message, wanting to feel confident that it was nothing important and was just Wooyoung being Wooyoung ‘in the best way possible’, also known as him having the spirit, but going about making good things happen in a very roundabout way. The last thing you could possibly wish for at this fragile moment at the beginning of your grand scheme was any kind of social disturbance.

“Here’s to you saying you wanted to do that back in first year!” Seonghwa chuckled and made a cheers motion with his hand in the air, manoeuvring around you to head into the kitchen.

“Yep… and now I am arguing with them basically every week, they really should learn to elaborate and explain…” you commented vaguely, choosing to not spend any longer on the peculiar message, closing the matter by tapping out a question mark and sending it to Wooyoung, followed by your trusty switch to ‘do not disturb’. You would rather have your attention on the dark-haired man next to you, who was currently appearing to look for Narnia inside of the refrigerator.

“And not email you on the weekends. That’s a crime. Milk?” he agreed and reappeared with two familiar plastic bottles, one in either hand.

“You have banana milk?” the surprise on your face was evidently clear enough for Seonghwa to be entertained, as he was motivated to continue.

“You know it. This is how dads get lit, I’ll have you know.”

“Wild and absolutely radical. How do you live like that?”

“Live fast. Here,” he passed the drink to you, pointing out the attached straw, “let’s go on the front porch, the neighbourhood is really nice at night.”

He was not lying about it being ‘nice’ - the term appearing to be a Park family favourite. In fact, it was much more than that. Perhaps picturesque or idyllic would be the right word. Sleepy houses under a blanket of a deep navy blanket, decorated with bright glittering stars, and not a cloud to remove the illusion of it being endless. Seonghwa had insisted that you wore your blazer again, while he had tugged on a zip up hoodie, insisting that this was so you would not get cold and scolding you when you initially had said that ‘it was no big deal'. Though now, you could not be more grateful for the well-meaning nagging as the chilly evening breeze caressed exposed skin, and you pulled the piece of clothing tighter around you.

When was the last time you and Seonghwa had shared a moment, any moment, alone together? Oh, that was right. You bit your lower lip, accidentally having retraced your memories. Now that you were more or less aware of his side of the story with regards to the confession, and it was easy enough to process; the opportunity was there to forget one entry in the series of misfortunes. However, prior to this final cry, there had been a build-up of occurrences in your life that had led you to grow more desperate, and, whilst you hated to admit it due to your work-pride you had cultivated, grow lonelier. And this build up was not something you would be capable of neither erasing, nor revealing any time soon. In hindsight, Seonghwa’s rejection could had been a better choice for the past you, too.

At least now, with a steadier foot on the ground as both of you began to walk your paths, you were able to enjoy their crossing. And now, as you were peering out beyond the refurbished fence gate and well taken care of greenery, you caught yourself wishing that your experiences and the years of being strangers would not weigh down so heavily on you. You had an inkling that perhaps that was why you could only register today as a billow of emotion – challenge, after challenge, and generally, not something you pondered at all. At best you thought you would just shake hands with Seonghwa, agree on terms and conditions, and be done with it. But here he was, welcoming you into his space, his life.

“This is all… a little crazy, isn’t it?” the question was a natural conclusion to your internal blur, which you physically accentuated with a particularly sharp stab of the milk’s metal film that served as a lid.

“I’ll be honest, for me this is the first ‘crazy' in a long time that isn’t about getting shots, bed times, or proving to strangers that no, I am not ‘some dude’, I am actually Nari’s father. So, if you were wondering why I even agreed in the first place... I guess part of it is that."

Seonghwa informed and lowered himself to occupy the space beside you. 'Part of it', huh. Keeping his secrets, then. The lamp above you flickered a couple of times, though upon closer inspection, with you tilting your head back and resting on your free hand, it was a small group of moths dancing around the illumination. As soon as your partner sat down, you reached out and offered to clink bottles, which he readily accepted with a shy smile.

“Wait, they do that?” after taking a sip through the tiny straw, you inquired. Seonghwa squinted, confused as to what part of the discussion you were referring to.

“What?”

“Like, strangers… asking you-”

“Ah, yeah. It has happened a couple of times. Not so much around the neighbourhood, since people know my daughter and I, but outside…” he trailed off, not knowing whether you would be interested to hear about his experience. Since you had proposed this family deal in a more business manner, he was not sure where that ended and relations that were too personal began.

“…outside?” you urged him on, eyebrows knitted, and concern growing clearer on your face by the second.

“We went to a playground out in the centre once, by the Han river, and this one lady with a pram and a kid, about Nari’s age, right by her side decided that it would be a good idea to ask my own daughter: ‘is that really your dad?’.”

“No way…” you uttered, growing irritated at the well-meaning, but insensitive action, “Do people like that exist?”

“Yeah-”

“So, what did you answer?” you hoped that at least a sliver of university-Seonghwa had remained for that; alas, there was not a trace.

“I just left. Calmed down Nari and left.” he elaborated. What could have he done, anyways? He understood why the woman had been concerned, and it was not the question itself that had internally set him off, but the fact that she had approached his daughter to ask it.

“Fair, but I want to find that mother now and see how she is doing. Just want to talk.” you hissed, pinching some of the grain that had eroded away from the steps on which you were sitting, rolling it between your fingers before angrily flicking it away.

“Ominous.”

“Just talking.”

“You verbally throw hands, Y/N, that much I can remember.” he retorted, with an out of place fondness, not dissimilar to how one would look over a photo album and reminisce.

“Verbal cosmetic surgery, Hwa, it can be more than helpful sometimes. Though honestly she should go get her eyes checked instead if she can't see the likeness." You concluded, taking another sip and looking up at the starry night sky. Now this was something you could get used to, instead of the fine dust particles that slammed against your nearly always closed windows.

A warmth spread over Seonghwa as he listened to you. It was not the first time he had heard about Nari being a mini version of him, but the first time he wanted to ask for an elaboration. In addition to that, you had used his nickname, which he did not realise he had been missing hearing as much as he actually did. Not finding any reason to filter his amiability, he inquired into what you meant.

"What exactly?"

"Oh, come on, it's easier to say what isn't." You retorted, feeling Seonghwa's gaze on you.

"No, really."

You were not sure why exactly he was so bent on hearing you list off random features that had stood out to you but were too tired to resist what probably was just standard father behaviour.

"Well, there's the eyes, of course." You began, imagining the two faces as if they were drawings set out in front of you.

"No way." He intentionally disagreed, biting back a cheeky grin as he saw you scowl and raise an eyebrow, still trained on something invisible ahead of you.

"Yes way!"

"How can you say when you're not even looking at me?"

"How can I say when Nari is in bed, asleep?" You shot back, finally turning to face him, almost gasping because of the intensity with which the man was openly gawking at you. The movement, however, appeared to break his boldness as he lowered his head and glanced at his Crocs - as he had explained, they were the most effective footwear to put on if one needed to pop out of the house for a short while, but you were sold when you saw the Star Wars themed decorations on both pairs which he had presented. So very Seonghwa - some things did remain.

"Fair point... but still, for reference." Barely a mumble reached your ears, but you preferred it, for the sake of your own heart. It did not overpower your strict convictions by volume.

"Right then, mister hypocrisy, the side profile of your singular sensory organ that is reactive to visible light, and your daughter's looks pretty similar if I do say so myself." You deadpanned, listing off what little you could remember from secondary school biology.

Seonghwa nearly choked on his milk, making it bubble as he snorted in response to your unexpected observation. Your hand instinctively moved to pat his back but retracted as he raised his own to show he was alright. Quickly enough the cough was replaced by a chuckle, utterly confusing you.

"Don't mean to be that person, but what's so funny?"

"Ahem, just thought of something totally tactless, don't mind me." He elaborated, mumbling.

"Okay impress me."

"No, no, it's fine."

"If it's a dad joke, I'll just give you an imaginary gold star.”

"Seems, I," he lightly punched his chest a couple of times to get the last of the fit out, "lose my breath around you." You erupted into a loud groan and demonstrative rolling of the eyes, secretly loving the phrase, and how Seonghwa's ears burned up into a bright pink.

"Damn, thanks for the warning, otherwise I would have lost my breath."

You did not think much about what you had said, considering the sentence to be innocent enough and far removed from emotional involvement, however it appeared that Seonghwa was on a roll, or lacking in oxygen as he followed up with a total breach of reason, forcing you to put physical effort into restraining yourself from destroying the plastic bottle with an untimely hand crush.

"Lost mouth to mouth opportunity...”

"NOW MISTER PARK SEONGHWA THAT IS ILLEGAL." You squeaked, unsure of how to handle Seonghwa suddenly leaning closer to you, looking you up and down asking:

"What, conflict of interest for our little business deal?"

You were lost for words, so automatically fell back on highly effective defence tactics:

"What if someone was saying that to your daughter, hm?"

Whatever he wanted to say was lost to his dominating creativity. You observed his expression turn sour as he visualized the scene, but with Nari in the starring role. A good dad, through and through, after all.

He need not explain himself, though to reassure Seonghwa that you meant well and this was lighthearted, you gave him a quick squeeze on his lower arm. In acceptance, he covered your hand with his, keeping it there for as long as he could. It was still a challenge to process that what was happening was real, and not a vivid dream. The day was a journey through time, making him realise just how much his life had changed and took a radically different turn compared to his peers. In all honesty, he had never expected to have any ability to return even a tiny fraction of that reality, and chose to assume that with his new role as a father, he had no right to reminisce. Especially at the beginning, that was almost true - he had no time to think, let alone take steps into the past. But now, when his regrets of his past had transformed into his present opportunities, Seonghwa felt like something in him had woken up after an impossibly long hibernation. If only every tomorrow that was to come, were to be like this.

"Ahem, okay, okay. So, uh, you said eyes? What else?" He tried to return to the previous conversation, and thankfully, you were equally as eager to move on from the unexpected moment of toeing a line that had been drawn by the years and uncertainty.

"There's the nose shape... at least the baby version of it if you get what I mean."

"Definitely would be strange to have an adult nose on a kid's face, yes." Seonghwa agreed, tapping his nose a couple of times for emphasis.

"I am glad we are on the same page there."

"And, what else?"

"Eyebrows for days, oh! And your smiles. Congratulations to her for winning the genetic lottery." You wondered whether the phrase was too much, but Seonghwa's proud grin dissipated your concerns.

"I'll save that for when she is a teen so I can remind her. "

"Oh yeah... that's going to be a thing..." you mused out loud, failing to conceal a twinge of pity as you recalled your own adolescence: not particularly enjoyable for any parties involved.

"Yep. Barely out of the woods ourselves, huh?"

"Yeah... but I think you'll handle it. Of course, I don't have much data to go off, but my first impression is that you are... you are doing a good job, Hwa."

"Thanks... though, Y/N... can I be frank?"

"Yeah, Frank and Frederick and Ferdinand." Mainly for the sake of lightening the mood, you threw out the random garble.

"I am winging it so hard it is unbelievable. And unacceptable."

A regular occurrence for everyone - for as long as one is alive, they continue to learn, absorb the world and patterns around them until they create what is called an identity, and then keep growing the embellishments. Simultaneously, Seonghwa sounded anxious, possibly wishing that he was a parenting pro from the get-go. As someone who had to reevaluate all priorities and step into a caring role, it was an unfortunate side effect of doing things objectively right, to feel as though the best, the real way to address one's kid's needs was always just out of reach.

"Same."

It was a struggle to fully relate, but that did not mean that you would stop trying, if at least for your own benefit. With all your might you tried to conjure an analogy, but the only thing to come close was standard perfectionism and religiously abiding by deadlines. Enough to say 'same'.

"Would have never guessed that was the case." Seonghwa, ever so supportive, despite the fact that you were, unknowingly making him regretful of his sudden career change.

You seemed to be doing well enough, and if the few years of intensive corporate grind had not made your drive and opportunity-seeking nature fizzle out, then combining family and a better paid and degree-based job would not be a problem. Some kindergartens he had considered had extended hours on offer for kids of working parents, with pickup times being later after work; had he gone down that route, he would not be suffering the judgmental gazes of the other kids’ mothers who likely assumed the was an unemployed leech. Admittedly, he had felt a certain level of satisfaction when observing the stunned crowd as your very obviously expensive car rolled into the parking lot to pick up Nari from the activity centre, especially since many of the kids, and thus the parents, were connected to the same school.

He wondered how quickly would rumours spread, and could already imagine himself wearing a satisfied grin as he… technically he could not say anything, could he? Since this was all an elaborate plan and would be over at some point? Well then, he would just have to remain mysterious and let the gaggle come to their own interpretations after seeing an attractive young woman step out from the driver’s side, stylishly dressed in Forbes-chique, and carrying herself like you knew what the future held. In other words, you could threaten them, with a confidence which he could not find within himself.

"Same. You are a natural." You returned the kind words, wishing that it was not such a hard feat for you to do. Conveying numerical fact and artistic white lies was easy enough, but sourcing feelings from the bottom of your heart… problematic.

"If only I felt that way too..."

"Then maybe you would be less careful and therefore less of an amazing dad. It kind of reminds me of the interns at work - the more confident they are, the more likely they are to commit an error." You gave Seonghwa a light pat on his upper arm as you attempted, in your own special say, to comfort him.

"Are you saying people should have low confidence and self-esteem?"

"No, what I am saying is that unshakeable confidence that is beneficial to a person is one that is built through experience. Many, many years of it. I bet you know the car thing." Anything to make the topic relatable to you; you were searching once more for any way to remove yourself from the concept of family, make it more 'user friendly', but this only served to add to the confusion.

"Car thing?”

"You know, the whole thing about some of the most reckless drivers being those who already have a license, have driven just enough to think they are the shit - so like, one or two years, and then... get to experience the joys of insurance, in the best-case scenario."

"Hah, noted. So, basically, stay alert."

"Guess so, but with a kid a lot of it is just a constant learning journey, isn't it?"

"Yep, just people constantly figuring things out. From fees to Nari suddenly not liking a food she was obsessed with for a year to her wanting to try doing something independently when we are running late..."

"You have the patience of a saint, Hwa."

"Job requirement, no?"

"I wish it was."

Silence fell over the two of you as you let the phrase slip. Seonghwa was not sure about how to respond, and you were not sure how to change the topic of conversation without making it sound too jarring.

It was obvious that your mind had gone elsewhere, miles, or perhaps it was more correct to say decades, from the conversation. You were looking inwards, searching for something, trying to clamber up your barriers. But it appeared to be a fruitless venture, as you repeatedly tried to start a sentence, words on the tip of your tongue, only for it to go dry and sabotage you at the last second. This turn of the discussion had striken a dissonant chord with you. Even though Seonghwa would not dare begin to guess why, he knew that it was essential he lightened the mood. It just felt right.

"Then you would be walking on thin ice, Y/N." He leaned over and whispered into your ear, beaming.

"Hey! I'll have you know I am a professional!"

"Yeah, yeah... sure. I have no doubt your market forecasting capabilities."

"Backhanded, but I'll take the compliment... you're right, not with kids." You huffed and took one final slurp of your drink. Compared to your relative optimism a couple of days ago, you could only perceive yourself as a trainwreck.

"I am only joking though, I think you have some talent. You say that but at the same time, Nari really took to you. I can see it. What we have to work on is you not getting jump-scared by everything she does and relax. We will help each other. We're husband and wife after all."

The phrase made you freeze in place. Right. That was exactly what you had signed up for. That title so you could flex it in front of your colleagues, and most importantly your bosses so that you would have a shot at bigger money, bigger dreams. Was this fair on Nari? Was this fair on Seonghwa?

You hummed in half-hearted agreement, tuning into the atmosphere surrounding you and Seonghwa. A myriad of questions glimmering above you like the stars dotting the sky. Constellations of misconceptions and miscommunications that were yet to be put right, or learned to be ignored for the better of you both. As you felt the presence beside you lean forward and sigh, breath abandoned to an infinite expanse of anxieties and hushed ruminations, a morbid curiosity began to plague you. Was it too late to do anything? What was it that you were actually trying to achieve here? Was a promotion the result, or the pretense? You rubbed your temples, with your inner wrists, disconcerted by the audacity which your inner conscious seemed to have. If you had said: goal, it meant goal. Funny how you needed to remind yourself of it, even if you had deemed it so important.

After a few more minutes of staring out into the dark, in silence that was filled only by the rustling of the tree leaves, you felt that it was time to leave, if you wanted to remain level-headed and prepared for an interrogation from Yunho. With a stretch, you pushed yourself off the steps and wobbled into a standing position, much to Seonghwa's surprise. Though that did not last long, and his face relaxed in recognition. Turning back, you were about to pick up the empty bottle, but he quickly intercepted, not giving you as much as a chance, only mumbling 'I've got it, don't worry' on repeat.

"But I feel like I have not done anything to help you today?"

"There will be tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. Don't worry, if you want your hands full, I can organise that pretty fast."

"No doubts about that. Once events coordinator, always events coordinator, right?"

"Absolutely. And organising a bunch of frat bros is a very good parent prep experience, I’ll tell you that one for free."

"Welp, I hope I won't be as much trouble..."

"I'm not too worried for the beginning, it's once you get comfortable..."

"Right, okay, same rule applies to me then: stay alert."

"In a meerkat fashion." With astonishing speed, Seonghwa rocked forwards and stood up beside you, running a hand through his locks to smooth them down after being rashly disheveled. Then to imitate the furry animal, he bent his arms at the elbow and wrist, earning an amused chuckle from you, along with a grin which you hid behind a closed hand, with a knuckle pressed to your lips.

“And to think you’re a grown man with a kid.”

“To be a good parent, you need to be a little bit like a kid, Y/N. Not through and through, but a smidgen is enough.” When you did not answer, he added more encouragement, hoping that his promises were significant enough to leave a positive effect on you.

Seonghwa would not want to admit it to you just yet, seeing how you were still adamant on abiding by business restrictions, albeit loosely, but throughout the day, he was hesitant to treat your appearance as something temporary. Ignoring time restrictions, he had indulged in fantasies of ‘what could be’ if you were to stay even for just a bit longer. But that was only natural to do after meeting someone from the past, right? To add, he did not want to regret his decision to introduce you to Nari, and Nari to you. If you two were to bond, and then you would take your leave… Seonghwa would never be able to forgive himself for letting you into the little circle he called family. The signs were already there, of his daughter quickly warming up to you, and it was only a matter of time until the point of no return would be reached.

You had heard of the notion that Seonghwa was explaining to you before this – to understand a child you needed to have an ability to tap into an inner child, a healthy, happy and nurtured one, that was. That was where your comprehension stopped, and you had previously ceased to bother. But now, as you were about to part with today and step into tomorrow as a changed woman, you guessed that this might be something worth learning. So long as you could sustain the belief that this was for a role than a calling.

“Right, so, um… I better get going… it’s getting kind of late…” you cleared your throat and announced, stumbling over your words slightly as Seonghwa would not take his eyes off you, following all your gesticulations and reading nuance.

“You sure? I can organise something for you here, so you don’t have to travel. I’d be more than happy to.”

“See, I have this thing tomorrow, and um, before that need to, you know, do some human things and uh, change and stuff…” your rambling did little to make you appear convincing, but Seonghwa was kind enough to not inquire further – you were sure that if he did, you would have cracked. When it came to him, you had always struggled to make up excuses and fables, even if sometimes that could have saved both of you from hurt.

“Okay.” What was new in your dynamic was how accepting and empathic Seonghwa had become. Or who knew, maybe he had always been that way, but in university had tried to hide himself away in the effort to appear ‘cool’.

In a spur of guilt as you followed Seonghwa back into the house to fetch your shoes, you spontaneously offered to drive him and his daughter to kindergarten on Monday morning. You could see the young man hiding his reaction from you by appearing busy.

“And what makes you think we couldn’t find a place in the local one?”

“Because the activity centre was hell knows where?”

“Fair point. And you’re right, kindergarten is equally far, so I’ll gladly take you up on that offer.” He agreed, and provided you the details of timings, and promised to send you the address.

Fumbling for a way to say goodbye, Seonghwa and you stood on either side of the doorframe, knowing that this should not be as hard as you were making it out to be. It was only once you recalled the message you had received sometime earlier that you quickly made your exit, acutely aware of his gaze trailing your journey away from the front porch to the fence, and disappearing behind the bushes. For some time after, he remained in the same place, letting himself come down from the paradise he had invented as slowly as he could, to return to functioning as a single, independent unit, at least until the dangerous play pretend were to continue on the early Monday morning.

Heart beating wildly, you crashed into the front seat of your car and sank deep until you were half lying down and able to look up at the sky. Not that the action helped distract you. Your mind was struggling to process why you were so on edge, and you desperately wanted to replace the sensation with the usual emotional numbness you associated with the concept of familial closeness. What was happening to you? You reached for your phone again, switching the mode back to see more texts flooding in both from your best friend and from Wooyoung. And the implied meaning of messages from the latter were everything but what you needed.

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