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#I think I'm still on the fence about it

gildedmist · 2 years

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People suited to both Gryffindor and Slytherin combine the best and worst traits of their houses into individuals who can be loyal and steadfast allies, but also formidable and dangerous enemies. With the cunning of a Slytherin and the courage of a Gryffindor, they are willful and capable people who tend to be improvisors, relying on nerve and cleverness to see them through whatever challenges they may face. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin houses favor loyalty, and this trait shines particularly brightly in these people.

On the negative side, they can be manipulative, possessing both the boldness and charm necessary to navigate themselves to success. They may also be unnecessarily aggressive, and their fearlessness and ambition work together in driving them to ruthlessly pursue their goals. They tend to keep secrets, and can be distrusting and suspicious.

At their best, they are decisive, loyal, proactive, measured, and fiercely protective. At their worst, they're manipulative, stubborn, reckless, aggressive, and ruthless. However, no matter which traits they end up exemplifying, these people make an intense and lasting impression on the world around them.

#hp #harry james potter #hpedit #gryffindor #slytherin #slytherdor #myedits.#this took forever to finish and I'm still on the fence about it #but I'm calling it done #I thought about including other people #like maybe snape or ginny or dumbledore #since I think you can make a case #for each of them having a lot of both houses' traits #both good and bad #but it'd be really speculative #so I decided not to #but I definitely want to do a few others of these #particularly for gryffinclaw #since we have mcgonagall for sure

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lesamis · 1 month

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i learned the grade for my phd thesis today (it's v good! i'm v happy!) & my supervisor took that as occasion to sit down with me and talk about The Future for a bit, and she clearly cares and i'm thankful for her, but the sheer ivory tower out-of-touch-ness of academics will never stop baffling me. like they'll ask you about your new job (admin & public service), and you tell them you're enjoying it and loving all the mental space it's freed up, and they'll be like cool! but you are looking for something better, right?

and it's like. no. i'm really super not. i understand that professors look down on this kind of work, which is one thing, they're snobs, i can't change that. but to not take someone's word for it when they say they find their job fulfilling and rewarding is kind of. ungenerous? not to mention condescending? like please don't call a less mentally taxing job a "waste of potential" when it was working in academia that stopped me from producing literally any writing i cared about or felt proud of for nearly four years

#if there IS any potential still to be reached i'm not reaching it in limited contracts worrying about whether i'll have a job next year lol #anyway i'm here to say if you're on the fence about whether to stay in academia.#do not do it. it really doesn't get easier from here on out in fact it'll probably get harder #and i know it feels good to be encouraged. and you want to do right by people who have faith in you. but god #i'm so tired of wealthy tenured profs who have 2 years to retirement thinking they can give advice without understanding our realities #ma'am no one is funding the humanities anymore. ma'am my friend recently applied for a postdoc position with 200+ applicants. ma'am

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l-la · 3 months

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Ultimately I am interested in the stories and art people create. I want to see what people's minds come up with. I want to think about how they chose to design their characters, the lines and colours they play with. I want to know people are creating. Being. There's something so human about it.

I joke often I can't imagine not thinking about my characters and stories always in the back of my head, and I can't. I can't imagine what it is not to make or think about a sentence. Think about how I want to scribble out my next illustration.

I fear generative AI making for a populace that is easier to manipulate. Easier to convince of badly cloaked lies because they don't know how to read with any level of consideration for that.

But I also will not abandon the places and people that make up stories and art. They can make their poor mimicries, even bad ones. I hope artists and writers can protect themselves to the best of their own abilities. But I am not going anywhere. I want to be here, where people are making and telling and creating. In spite of everything.

#thinking outloud about everything //#i realize i have very little to worry about because i am not likely someone anyone is looking to mimic but i still feel strongly about #not leaving about not bending and disappearing because they've scared everything away #i'm not a bird on a fence so easily forced to fly away until there is no where left to fly to #l la rambles #and i get why people are fleeing or hiding their art but i am tired of the constant push and pull of fear around stuff #i just wanna jive making art

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doom-dreaming · 8 months

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Blue Team (+ Cortana) Sims

(Places four tiny Spartans and an even tinier Cortana into your hands.)

Our main boy. Gap-toothed and covered in freckles. :) They're all over his shoulders, too. And his chest. And his back. It's great. He also has a secret tattoo on his shoulder.

Kellyyyyyyyyyyy. My silly rabbit. In all her blue-haired glory. Fun fact: Kelly looks different in every single reference photo I used. Thanks, Halo. All I have to go on is "rough, angular beauty" and a bunch of wildly-different renderings from a billion sources.

Linda! Everyone's favorite sniper. Turns out the birthmark options can also look like scars, so that's cool. I just think they should have more battle damage than literally every picture I've ever seen of them. You're telling me these people have been in heavy combat for over four decades and their faces are pristine? I don't buy it, no matter how good they are at keeping their helmets on.

Fred turned out much better after I spent a little more time messing with his face bones. And he doesn't look as much like he's constantly on the verge of tears like the first version. Lmao. Even got the gray (sorry, "silver") hair in there. And idk, I thought the tattoo looked cool. I do have Blue Team tattoo headcanons, but Sims doesn't really have anything close.

She!!!!! I was trying to get her close to the Halo 2 Anniversary facial structure, since it's my favorite look for her and her face is different in literally every game. I think I did a decent job. As decent a job as one can manage in a minimally-modded Sims game.

Good news, the height slider looks great with this group. John and Fred are at max height (Kelly and Linda are close to it) and Cortana's at minimum and. it's just good. It's very good. I'm finally realizing I have a very real thing for size differences, which is technically something I always knew, but. Anyway. There they are, I'm pretty happy with how they turned out! I still haven't finished their house yet.

#i will spare the halo tag and character tags from having to see this #blue team beach house #i'm still on the fence about john's hair #i might change it #and something still looks off to me about fred but i can't figure out what it is #and i'm worried i've just spent too much time messing with him #really thrilled by how much john looks like he could have been a little shit of a six-year-old #i think i captured the energy accurately #posts this at a time when no one is awake #maybe i'll reblog it later if i'm feeling obnoxious enough

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torturedpoetemotions · 2 years

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Ed's Painful Vulnerability in 1x05

I think part of what's so undoing about the end of 1x05 isn't just that it's so vulnerable, necessarily. Because Ed has been vulnerable the entire episode.

It's that at last, his vulnerability is met with kindness, after an entire day of putting himself out there and being met with cruelty. And he's so surprised and charmed by the sudden change he can't even speak.

I mean think about the episode. Except for the beginning montage of Ed teaching Stede about pirating, Ed is out of his element and comfort zone basically the entire time. And for the most part, it doesn't go well for him.

First, Stede teaches Ed about the pageantry of dining. Ed doesn't fully get it or even see the point of it, and then Ed is insulted by Captain Snail Fork over in the corner, which clearly gets under his skin. Later, in private, he reveals he wasn't just angry. That now-skinless bastard's words really hurt.

Then Ed goes to the party. At first he has a lovely time, but then he ends up being made fun of for not knowing which utensils to use. If you've ever had a night that started nice and ended poorly, you know how this feels. The fun from before doesn't balance things out. It only makes the fallout worse, somehow. So once again, Ed is hurt, and angry that he was hurt.

(It's worth mentioning here that both times, Stede is the one to soothe the hurt. Which makes this last bit even more heart-achingly sweet.)

And now finally, they're back on the ship. The party is over, Cinderella. And yet here's prince charming who left the party with Ed and burned the ballroom down behind them, reaching out for one of Cinderella's rags.

It's an intensely vulnerable moment for Ed after a day of being vulnerable and getting hurt for it. And unlike the other times, he isn't putting himself out there. He doesn't offer the silk. He doesn't give it when asked. He allows Stede to take it from him, with the most guarded, cautious look in his eyes.

He's fully expecting to be hurt again in this moment. That's why he quickly dismisses the silk as old and tatty when Stede notices it. That's why he doesn't offer it or fight to stop Stede from taking it. The first would be putting himself out there again. The second would betray how important it is to him.

Ed has already learned two very painful lessons today about pretending toward things not meant for "people like him." He's not about to give anyone, even Stede, a chance to teach him a third. So he lets Stede take the silk, but his armor is up. It's such a fraught, even a dangerous moment, one in which Ed is braced for a blow.

And then Stede says sometimes old things are the best. He treats this scrap of silk so gently, like something precious. He folds it carefully and artfully and tucks it into Ed's pocket. He says the words that have made us all feral for weeks now, with so much fondness and sincerity.

And Ed lets out a breath. It's a gasp and a scoff and an exhale, because his walls weren't just knocked down. They were fucking evaporated, and here Ed is again, vulnerable, for the third time that day.

But this time it's because Stede turned all his expectations on their heads in a good way. This time, at the end of a day filled with anticipation ruined by cruelty, Ed's trepidation is dispelled with kindness.

And the poor man is swept off his feet. Unintentional seduction, indeed!

#the best revenge is dressing well #ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #blackbonnet #ofmd 1x05 #you wear fine things well #stedeward #ed teach #lizawords #i'm still on the fence about stede's lack of intentionality tbh #i think he very much wanted ed to like him and keep enjoying his company #i just don't think he realized he could have asked for more and gotten it without hesitation #disney princess edward teach

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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re Lettergate: Lettergate, but it's El's pre-spring break letter laying crumpled somewhere in Mike's room. Reminding him what El said about the painting. Making Mike wonder in a letter of mostly lies was the part about Will also one? Mike's gears spinning-> Why did Will have it at the airport not El? Why did Will bring it with him? Why wait to give it to him if it had been from her all along? What would make Will lie to him like that? Questions for both Mike and to some casual viewers to think about if they hadn't already. We know it doesn't add up and why, but does Mike?

Right?!?!? Like it's such a mind fuck.

I'm still not certain about that scene, and that's probably what I love about it so much.

I could see it being bunch of different scenarios.

Initially when s4 came out, I was very confident Mike didn't see Will crying. I even made this post about it that blew up, bc I could genuinely relate to Will's situation, where you're facing the window in the car, crying as quietly as you can in hopes that no will notice.

But then as time passed, I rewatched the scene more and I started to notice all of Mike's micro-expressions (the first time I watched it, I didn't notice any of them...), with him going from bright and happy upon thinking the painting for Will's crush (according to El), was actually for him, only for Will to say it was commissioned by El and with Mike now looking extremely confused.

I kind of take that first reaction as something the entire fandom overlooks, both ga and bylers. Because it's clear from the start of that moment Mike WANTS the painting to be for him from Will, and he's visibly relieved to find out it is, only to be visibly dejected when he finds out that it's not.

And like you said, then comes the uncertainty for Mike that this could have been just another thing El lied about in her letter, so him assuming Will was painting something for his crush might have not even based in reality in the first place?

Also, why would Will lie to him? Will never lies to him! At least not something as big as this. Which is why fans have acknowledged some of the notes from the score Being Different matching both parts of The First I love You and The First Lie. There is something sort of special about Mike just believing Will, and the importance of that being conveyed through that score basically. I do get that. Then again, Being Different is mostly Will's perspective on the situation at hand (and he's known to be an unreliable narrator). This is him saying I love you to Mike for the first time (veiled) and this is him also lying to him about something big for the first time.

But again, after rewatching that scene god knows how many times now, it's clear based on Mike's emotions throughout that he is having some sort of realization and conundrum.

In fact, he looks most emotional and effected when Will starts describing the situation of their relationship, not him and El's.

When Will starts talking about feeling different and like a mistake and how Mike makes him feel like he's none those things, we know that can't possibly apply to Mike and El's dynamic at all. In fact, we just saw that that was the whole reason for their big fight, with El being convinced Mike just saw her as a monster like everyone else, with him deflecting by saying she was a superhero, not acknowledging the core of the issue at all. This is something him and El never touch on again, face to face. All we have is their fight, them reuniting and saying they missed each other, followed by Mike jumping into saying much of what he said in their fight during his monologue, things that literally upset her last time (denying he never said I love you), mixed with some inspiration from Will, and with a dash of trauma bonding phrasing that would come off as romantic to the majority, but also arguably as platonic and yet just as meaningful. But the pressure of it being romantic is what made it so hard to watch, because we know Mike's heart is conflicted right now.

The issue I have with the interpretation that Mike didn't pick up on Will's feelings at all though, is that there is something so much more impactful than all of that stuff I have just said combined, and it's the whole I didn't say it/You didn't have to line. That was really beautiful exchange that sort of encapsulated their whole relationship, and so having that ring true in the moment when it mattered most? Epic.

It meant everything for Mike to read between the lines in the van scene, as it would have cemented this truth between them that the love they feel for each other doesn't need to be outright said, they just know based on how they make each other feel. Like that's the whole point.

And by the end of that scene, Mike looks like someone who understands.

When Will is emotional looking out the window talking about being a mistake, we get Mike out of focus in the background looking Will up and down very sympathetic. I don't know why he would have such strong indicators of feeling sympathy for an emotional Will, describing things that sound an awful lot like their circumstances, unless he somehow picked up on what Will was saying despite Will not outright saying it?

The way Mike literally looks stunned and amazed when Will starts rambling and saying things that word for word describe him and Will? Why would he react like that if he had absolutely no thoughts in his head?

Gonna be honest and say the most obvious reason he would figure out Will is lying, is that El does not know an iota about DND... Like she doesn't know anything. She would have to have asked Will to dig deep and do something personal for her to give to Mike... And that just feels like it would be a quick obvious indicator for Mike that this has to be how Will feel's if it's coming from his knowledge about all of it? That in and of itself makes me feel like Mike would easily come to that conclusion that this is Will's feelings for him and he goes from being happy to sad to happy again bc he is relieved that the truth is it is for him, even if neither of them can face it rn.

More than anything on the Mike and El front, I think Mike knows that El deserves so much more than being settled for, which is why he's having a hard time playing along for much longer.

I think he would have preferred they stay friends at the end of s3 with them having been that way for the last 3 months before the epilogue, but it's not like Mike could say no thanks? That wasn't an option in any shape/form. After everything El just went through, and everything she's done for him and his friends, how could Mike hear her say I love you, and reject that? The fact that he does care for her very much is what makes it so tragic that he is suffering and not allowing himself to open up about it, bc he feels like if he did, he would be selfish. It would be selfish to break it off when she wants to be together now and is approaching their relationship romantically, only for him to go against that. And so he plays the part, and he does it really unconvincingly...

As he is having these moments in s4, I think it is him sort of accepting something that he has just started to see as inevitable because it's not like he can hide from the truth forever. Unless he wants to be miserable like his parents, and clearly he is feeling the pressure to just go along with it, while also deep down wanting to reject it, and we see how that blows over in the end, with it being way worse than he ever imagined (apocalypse proportions? Like, Jesus Mike).

I will say, that as a boy that is still technically in a relationship with someone, Mike probably felt like he couldn't be like Yes Will, I like you back. The best he could do was give him a look that said that reassuringly and then try to process it. Him facing the truth in that moment was never an option while him and El still hadn't talked things over. Also him facing a crying Will, would have only made him cry himself arguably, meaning his only option was to sit there looking as emotionless as possible (rink-o-mania teas). I think what we have here is honestly a s3 ending parallel right in front of us but without us being able to see Mike's side of it. We've got Will and Mike and even Jonathan. Will cried hoping Jonathan wouldn't notice, but he did. Mike biked home and hugged his mom looking just heartbroken. But imagine those s3 shots with Mike out of focus? You probably wouldn't know for certain if he was sad or not? I honestly feel like if we had seen Mike in the van, he would have looked like he was holding back everything he could, making those parallels overlap perfectly.

Then after the van scene, Mike's reuniting with El again and he's saying I'm here I'm here and you can see it on his face, he's worrying too much about El again. He's worried that he's going to break her if things end romantically between them and as a result she won't be in his life anymore. That's not what he wants at all. But then his eyes search for Will and he's so conflicted, bc he literally just days ago confided in Will that he didn't want to do this anymore. And yet still, he doesn't want to hurt El, nor does he want to hurt Will. *enter explosion in the background behind Mike, followed by Argyle going AW SHIT AW SHIT AW SHIT as Will and El hug and Mike watches....*

Then Surfer Boy happens, and El is reaching to hold his hands and now she's saying she missed him. I imagine he was terrified that because of their fight, she wouldn't want him in her life anymore, and so he was relieved on that front. But then the pressure is back again. He's back to square one, at the end of s3 where he feels like the only way El will ever want him is romantically, and he has to fit that role in order to be in her life. Not only is it something he feels obligated to do to stay connected to El, but also it seems like the most safest option in the world he lives in. It's what is expected from everyone around him. It makes sense. So it doesn't really matter if Mike is having doubts or that now he's hopeful Will feels the same, he starts to second guess himself.

And this then leads to part ?/? of Mike stalling (2 scenes before this, Yuri gets called out for being a coward because of his stalling, all while he hides the truth about the stalling in his coat chest pocket...). Mike is yet again stalling because he can't find it in himself to be honest and tell El he doesn't love her and play along and lie for any longer, and yet he also can't tell the truth because that also terrifies him (which is that he knows he doesn't love El because he has those feelings for Will...)

He stalls until it's not an option anymore, regardless of how he feels about the whole situation. And Will is pushing him and telling him to do it and Mike looks heartbroken. I think in this moment he is feeling doubts about Will's feelings, but also I think he is mostly convinced both El and Will want to be with him, so he is having to choose in this moment to be selfless like Will in order to save El's life, putting what he perceives to be her happiness, above his own (a vicious cycle we have going on here).

Now, a large part of why I subscribe to this, is because of a lot of details that fit, but I have also touched on this next detail here. Basically, I think Mike went from thinking the painting was from Will initially, to thinking it was from El by the end of the season.

I think the scene at the hospital is when this major shift happens. When Lucas says that El saving Max was a miracle, I think this is when Mike starts to now believe that El does love him, and that apparently his words did work, and so therefore the painting had to commissioned by her, right? The scene starts with the painting in the background behind Will, but directly after the miracle drop, Mike quickly shares a look with him, only to slowly, nervously look over at El, confused and then almost sad, with the painting now in the background behind her.

And so now the question becomes, does Mike want to keep up this act (unconvincingly) with El? Or does he want to follow his heart?

You could say that the ending of s4 answers that question...

I think that this means that starting in s5, Mike will definitely still have mixed feelings and emotions about the painting, along with his perception of El and Will's feelings for him.

I think that it makes sense that he would be upset if he's being sort of whipped back and forth about the truth. Lying was like a big deal in s4 with him and El (along with the whole series in general), but I think it's going to be a lot more impactful and intense seeing that confrontation happening with Will and Mike. Not because Mike is going to hate him or be mean over it, but just sort of be more upset than anything else.

Is Mike maybe thinking that this could be a testament to the state of their relationship? That apparently Will's gotten to the point where he lies about something like this? It's going to be a lot to process seeing as he ended s4, for the first time, making an active choice to choose for himself instead of basing that choice on other peoples emotions.

Because apparently that is what happened isn't it? He literally ended s4 thinking the painting was commissioned by El and yet he still chose Will, also while now probably assuming he was wrong about Will's feelings and he doesn't actually feel the same.

Let that sink in.

Mike made that choice for the first time based on his own emotions and not others, even all while assuming it was going to be doomed...

I'm sort of proud honestly, because that's not an easy thing to do.

Being true to yourself and risking hurting and losing others is a scary thing. And it's also why they've got themselves in this situation in the first place, because all of them are sacrificing their own truth, under the assumption that this is what everyone wants.

It's tragically epic.

#byler #ask #the duality of mike wheeler in the van scene #i'm on the fence still #like i am even willing to subscribe to the theory that mike thinks will is in love with el #that was like something i refused to consider for a while #BUT it would be funny to think about how Mike wouldn't judge will for falling in love with his sister technically #bc like been there done that lmaoooooooo like he would just be able to relate if anything??#also it would make sense if will had feelings for el #he wouldn't have let el see the painting #so that would mean el assuming it was for a girl he liked bc he was shy about #only for that to be the case bc it was literally for her?#but then maybe it was also a commission bc will is in love with el and is using his friendship with mike to make el happy even without him #like it would be sooooooo hilarious if mike misinterpreted will and el #watch in s5 el asks to be alone with will before she asks to be alone with mike and mike is just fucking panicking like ITS HAPPENING #i could see it ! lolol #But honestly i am more so in the boat that mike is just very misinformed rn after being flip flopped from partial truths to lies #still #he made an active choice by the end of the season based on his feelings #which is saying a lot #i do think dude has a letter somewhere also #letter to willy is real to me #there's too many joking hints at it in the literal show #the mailmain being the best one #followed by the junkyward scene #and then the yuri scene #and then there's probably others it never ends honestly #also the dear will love mike implications??#considering how easy it would be to do that and explain everything so swiftly with one simple word mike kept to himself #AHHHH

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bernie-jsyk · 5 months

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started work on a minizine before siggoth and i went to tacoma about grief and making space for it, and now it's evolved into an essay about the value and pitfalls of symbolic acts of protest in neoliberal settings, so...

#i mean i'm glad that i'm writing it #and i'm glad to be thinking about this stuff #and i'm REALLY glad i didn't just post what i was first thinking #because there's so much more to do here #i'm still on the fence about including an anecdote from Peele's “Us” but i think it's relevant

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wizard-eater · 7 months

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I think O Do Not Forsake Me by They Might Be giants would be a great Ahno song.

Ooh I will give it a listen and add it to the playlist

#thanks ahno!#asks #the wizard playlist #i think i also put spiraling shape on the playlist but I'm still on the fence about what to imagine it as. hence why it's not in the post

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scoopstrooptm · 1 year

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maybe if i post a to-do list here then i'll actually be productive.jpg

• spring clean my drafts • write up erica's bio • figure out specifics for d&d verses for robin & dustin • write up an apocalyptic au outline for robin & dustin • finish the robin & russian bunker trauma meta i have sitting incomplete in my drafts • modern verse ????? idk where to start with that aside from giving robin her long-awaited middle aged lesbian icon modern verse • starter call ?????? • write ?????????? • profit

#&. which star wars? / the one with the teddy bears duh ( ooc. )#i've been soooo distracted here lately lmao #and i have Plans over the next couple of days so this will be my weekend to-do list i think #i'm still on the fence about a modern au #i just think very little about robin would actually change between those verses so it's easier just to tweak her canon on a case #by case basis as needed #a modern verse where she's in her late 50s is much more interesting to me lmao #but we'll see. she may end up with both

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