#I really love the idea of god shang qinghua being a REALLY bad god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lizhly-writes · 9 days

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staring at my sqh/yqy peak lord fiance ficlet. consider this! sqh is still consorting with demons while this happens because why not. mobei-jun still exists and is fully aware of the whole "haha i'm engaged to my shixiong and everything is so fucking weird" and sqh is muttering about this as he looks through some northern desert stuff.

it's just. come on, yue-shixiong. we're engaged, you don't have to keep chasing after your xiao jiu -- not that sqh minds!!! if you two get along, great, that's everything that great airplane god wanted! but like, it gets really awkward when you run away while you're on a date with lil ole shang qinghua, and then everyone starts feeling very sorry for sqh for having a fiance so obviously in love with another man, which, okay, sqh absolutely took advantage of to get paperwork done at first, but it's starting to get wayyyyy more awkward now --

mbj finds himself in the wonderful position of being able to give sqh dating advice. does mbj date? no. but does he know what dating looks like? hell yeah. it seems a shame that his best spy/advisor/friend(?) doesn't know the answer to this.

"hit him," mbj suggests.

"what," sqh says.

"three times a day."

and then we get into a discussion on demon courting and sqh going "haha that's nice but yqy isn't a demon" and mbj is like "i don't understand why you don't try it, how else are you going to get his attention".

"humans don't court by punching people???"

"you don't appear to be making any progress doing this the human way." and mbj says this super condescendingly, too. like hey, sqh, you're such a loser. you have no game. of course you have no bitches. how can you have bitches if you don't punch people in the face.

well, yeah?? fuck you too, my king! it's not like you've ever had a date, are you not launching a boulder while being precariously balanced on your glass peak (me: i'm paraphrasing bu-ding-talk, check them out)? sqh could totally make progress if he wants to! not that he wants to! who wants to make progress with yqy??

anyway, this gets buried until the next time yqy pays sqq too much attention and sqh had the most resigned fucking look on his face. like come on. this again?

lqg is there. sqh makes incredibly awkward small talk. like haha hey how's your engagement to sqq. good? bad? ahahaha yeah, actually, sqh didn't have to ask, obviously it's bad. look, our fiances are running away with each other. people keep telling sqh that he needs to keep yue-shixiong's attention somehow, but all the advice is weird. in fact this guy last week said that sqh should hit yqy three times a day, not that sqh is going to try that --

"hmm," says lqg. "that's not a bad idea."

sqh is abruptly reminded that he is talking to lqg, a man who probably would be more interested in people if they punched him in the face.

"is that what you're doing with sqq???" says sqh.

the answer is no, of course not, don't be dumb. but like, if sqq WASN'T a poisonous snake of a man and a decent human being, lqg would mayhaps have his interest piqued with a good fight. that's so much better than flowers and haircombs. who wants courting gifts when you can have a good punch in the face.

"hahaha thanks liu-shidi but maybe not i think yue-shixiong could probably kill me if i tried," says sqh and scurries away.

fast-forward a week or two, in which sqh is having a stressful time. maybe it's tax season. maybe it's a shitty night hunt that he has no business being on. either way, yqy is there with him and good god is yqy zoned out.

is yqy actually zoned out? eh, maybe not. perhaps he is actually fully paying attention, but also he takes a look at a stand for fans while sqh is talking to him and sqh is like "shit, is this sqq again?" exasperation turning into anger while sqh is just, super stressed, and he just needs yqy to pay attention to him just this once, and the thought occurs -- well, at least two separate people have told him that he just needs to hit yqy --

all this to say that sqh just fucking decks yqy

#svsss #shang qinghua #yue qingyuan #sqh/yqy #i don't know where i was going with this #this was probably funnier in my head #sorry yqy

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delicioussshame · 3 years

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Please donate to my campaign. My goal is to get friends for Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan almost jumps out of his skin when he hears a knock on the door. No one had ever visited Luo Binghe since he came to stay here, and he had gotten the impression that it wasn’t that Luo Binghe had sent his usual visitors away for his guest’s sake. He does believe that his favorite student had been dreadfully lonely, these past few years.

How somehow as endearing as Luo Binghe ended up alone and friendless, Shen Yuan cannot fathom.

Still, if someone is knocking on the door, the doorman must have let them in? It must be important then. Shen Yuan cannot imagine nobodies are allowed anywhere within this complex.

He thinks about texting Luo Binghe to ask, but what if he disturbs him? He must be busy, away at his important job while Shen Yuan does nothing but lazing around. And Luo Binghe did imply that he wouldn’t be ashamed of Shen Yuan’s presence no matter what, so… let’s test that, shall we?

Shen Yuan opens the door.

Shang Qinghua’s frazzled expression faces him.

Shen Yuan almost closes the door in his former colleague’s face.

“Wait, what, Shen Yuan?! Woah, I had no idea you went back to your parents, I thought you said that bridge had burned. Anyway, would love to catch up, but I’m on the clock and at the wrong place, sorry, gotta go or my boss is gonna kill me, bye!”

Shen Yuan stops Shang Qinghua by the shoulder to stop him from leaving. “If you were looking for Luo Binghe, not that I have any idea why you would be, you’re not at the wrong place.”

“Really? Why? How? Is there a story here? Cause it sure seems like there’s a story here. Tell me the story! But later, I have to deliver this?” He waves a boring manilla envelope like it’s supposed to make sense.

“Who still sends letters?”

Shang Qinghua shrugs. “My boss.”

“You’re a mail carrier now? Nice upgrade.”

“Well, I do what I have to do, I don’t live with the country’s most eligible bachelor. Seriously Bro, what happened here? Isn’t he a bit young for you?”

Shen Yuan is sure his blush is terribly incriminating, but he can’t help it.

“Wow. You have to tell me now.”

Shang Qinghua is acting terribly familiar for a guy Shen Yuan hasn’t seen since graduation. “Why should I?”

But Shang Qinghua has already let himself in, unceremoniously dropping the envelope on the nearest table and taking everything in with wide eyes before he lets himself fall on Luo Binghe’s designer couch without a care in the world. “C’mon. Fess up.”

“How about you? Why are you even here? For all I know you’re a thief trying to rob the place.”

Shang Qinghua snorts. “Not exactly my speed.” He shrugs. “Teaching didn’t pay the bills, got an administrative assistant job instead and somehow ended up working for one of Luo Binghe’s associates, hence the private delivery service. How about you? When I saw you earlier, I was sure you were retired and profiting off that sweet family money, but was I wrong? Or is this those Shen connections at work?”

Shen Yuan frowns. Why did he even tell this guy about his family again?

Oh yes, because he had been young, stupid and drunk: the university experience. “No. Luo Binghe is a former student of mine. I’m visiting.”

Shang Qinghua gives him the world’s judgiest look. “Visiting.”

Shen Yuan nods, face still as a lake. “Visiting.”

“While Luo Binghe isn’t there.”

Shen Yuan nods again. “It’s a long visit. I’m staying here right now.”

“At your former student’s house. Look, I’m just gonna say it: sleeping with your student is bad. Don’t do it! That way lies lawsuits!”

“Former student! And it’s not like that!” Technically correct. They haven’t slept together, not in the way Shang Qinghua implies they did. “He’s just lonely and a bit deluded. It’ll pass.”

Probably.

No, not even Shen Yuan believes it at this point. One can only be kissed so often before one has to face reality: Luo Binghe certainly thinks he cares about Shen Yuan more than a student should care about any teacher.

Shen Yuan just isn’t sure what he should do about it.

“If it’s not like that, which, Bro, you’re not making a good case for, you’re staying with him because…?”

“I’m on vacation?” Shen Yuan lies back on the cool leather. “It’s a nice place for it, and cheap.”

“And your “former student” was eager to host you. You, his high school teacher? Because from what my boss told me, Luo Binghe isn’t exactly famous for his openness. I’m half-certain Mobei-Jun sent me here as punishment. He wanted someone else to chew me up this time.”

Shen Yuan snorts. “Still very competent, I see.”

“Well, at least I was teaching my students, not offering “extra credits” if they stayed after class. And since when are you into men, anyway? You always acted like you didn’t notice when men hit on you.”

“Men never hit on me.”

It’s Shang Qinghua’s turn to laugh. “Glad to see that didn’t change. Luo Binghe must be something, to have managed to get through you. What did he tell you, that he wanted to bend you over the nearest desk? Anything less and you’d have been blind to it.”

For fuck’s sake can Shang Qinghua stop saying shit that embarrasses the hell out of Shen Yuan? It’d be very appreciated.

“Oh shit, he totally did! Go him! Did it work? Tell me it worked!”

“No! Can’t you shut up for once in your meaningless life!”

“Not gonna happen. I need to know more. He made a move, and you’re living with him now? His charisma must be something else. At that speed, when’s the wedding? No, wait, how long has this been going on? We haven’t seen each other in forever, you might have been “visiting” for three years as far as I know.”

This is torture. “Didn’t you say you had somewhere to be?”

Shang Qinghua waves his attempt at deflection away. “Forget it, this is way more interesting. Even Mobei-Jun will want in on this. Sooooo?”

Shen Yuan sighs. “I’ve only been here a few weeks. As I said, it’s just a vacation. I’ll leave once the school year starts again.”

“Why can’t you stay here anyway? That dear student of yours must want to keep you, right? Unless you’re really being bankrolled by your parents, this is way nicer than anything you could possibly afford.”

“No matter what he says, I’m not becoming Luo Binghe’s trophy wife.”

Shang Qinghua’s eyes widen. “Ooh, your student wanna be your daddy? He’s paying you to keep you around, is that it? Oh, that has to be it. Explains the weird evasiveness thing you’ve got going on. Never knew you had it in you. I’m impressed, really. Much better gig than my own. I wish my boss would pay me to lounge around on his expensive furniture. I’d be great at that. Plus, you know, it’s not like it’d be a hardship. Mobei-Jun is scorching. I’d be his arm candy any day. Maybe he’d be less likely to murder me that way.”

Shen Yuan longs desperately to return to the web novel he so cruelly abandoned to let his worst nightmare in. “I’d give you my job, but honestly Binghe deserves better.” Better than Shen Yuan, too. “At least you’re into men. Makes things easier.”

Shang Qinghua’s face falls. “Are you telling me you’re not into him? Like, at all? Why are you even here then? The money can’t be that good. Return to your parents and get them to arrange a marriage to a rich heiress. Same result, plus you’re attracted to your partner. Better?”

Shen Yuan flinches in horror. “No! Not better! My parents AND some spoiled brat who only cares about my name? Fuck no. Binghe is infinitely better than that!”

Shang Qinghua laughs. “So you do like him! Good for you! Go get him, tiger!”

“No! Well, yes I do, Binghe is very likable, but not like that!”

“Oh my god can you hear the shit that comes out of your mouth? Look, you obviously trust him enough to agree to be his live-in boy toy, and okay, I haven’t seen you in forever, but whatever you’re doing is visibly agreeing with you. What were you doing anyway? It’s not like Luo Binghe is here most of the day.”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “Catching up on my reading, mostly.”

Shang Qinghua chokes. “Fuck you. He’s paying you to read? While I’m still trying to get pay to write? I hate you with every single atom of my being.”

“Wait, you’re still writing? Please tell me you’ve upgraded genre, at least.”

“Well…”

“Oh god show me now so I can change your mind before you waste even more of your life on this trash,” says Shen Yuan like he hadn’t caved and spent Luo Binghe’s hard-earned money on extras for novels he hates.

___________________

Luo Binghe is caught completely off guard by the loud voices echoing in his home. Even with Laoshi here, silence is what usually he’s greeted with.

Today, Shen Yuan’s voice is alight with what sounds like righteous anger. He can’t quite place the second one.

Luo Binghe follows the call like a sailor freed from his bonds.

He finds Shen-laoshi half-draped over his chair, Mobei-Jun’s lackey sitting at the desk Luo Binghe had bought for his teacher alone, both of them apparently enraptured with an argument about… bad literature?

Luo Binghe wishes he could be pleased with the sight of Shen-laoshi being this animated, but he can’t. He’s not the one who caused it. This little, insignificant man did, to the point that neither of them noticed his approach.

Luo Binghe taps Shen Yuan’s shoulder. “Laoshi.”

Both of them turn toward him, but only Shen-laoshi gets Luo Binghe’s tongue down his throat.

He is very pleased with the outraged look on his teacher’s face. “Binghe! Not in front of the guest!”

The interloper jumps out of Laoshi’s chair. “Guest? What guest? There is no guest, no one here’s. In fact, I should have left hours ago, oh god Mobei-Jun is going to kill me. Shen Yuan, please give Luo Binghe the envelope, sorry for bothering you both, talk to you later, gotta go byyyye!”

Luo Binghe watches the little man flee in terror with satisfaction. Good riddance.

Let’s see him try to contest Luo Binghe’s claim now. “How does Laoshi know Mobei-Jun’s personal assistant?”

“We studied together in college.”

Luo Binghe pouts. How could an old friend of Shen-laoshi find him here? “Were you two close?”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “Not especially. Why do you ask?”

That can’t be true. They were so at ease around each other. It can take Luo Binghe hours to get Shen-laoshi this relaxed.

He stays silent.

Shen Yuan stares at him. “Binghe.”

“…Yes?”

“I realise this is going to sound ridiculous, and for that I’m sorry, but are you.., jealous? Of Shang Qinghua?”

Luo Binghe might be pouting harder. “No. Why would I be jealous of one of Shen-laoshi’s friends he never told me about.”

A (very cute) smile appears shows up on Shen Yuan’s face. “You. Luo Binghe. Are jealous of Shang Qinghua.”

He dares to laugh! It’s not funny!

This time, Luo Binghe is definitely pouting harder.

“Binghe. Binghe. You’re you. Shang Qinghua is… Shang Qinghua. What do you have to be jealous about? He’s just Shang Qinghua! Come back to your senses!”

Well, that does cheer Luo Binghe right up. “Shen-laoshi likes me better!”

Shen Yuan rolls his eyes. “Of course I do.”

Luo Binghe’s chest remains warm for the rest of the day.

#The Scum Villain Self Serving System #Scum Villain #BingQiu #That AU where LBH and SY fail to negociate their sugar relationship

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spockandawe · 4 years

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I’m so unbelievably weak against characters who make terrible choices because they’re hurting and upset. I love the subtler resentful decisions that quietly build up ill will, and I love the big dramatic choices that end with everyone going down in flames. But more than anything, I love love love hurting myself with the emotional flavor of a character struggling with the tension of simultaneously realizing that people hate/mistrust them (or how much people hate/mistrust them, or which people hate/mistrust them), while also realizing that those people just have... no idea where they’re coming from.

I was thinking about this first because of Mu Qing, who is honestly a very low-key version of this scenario (and it’s also quieter since he’s not a lead character and rarely takes the spotlight himself). But the first big tgcf flashback honestly made my heart ache, seeing him trying to walk a line between maintaining his own independence/pride and not belonging to someone he wants to be peers with, but when he tries to be tactful, people decide he’s being shady. He was picking cherries, to bring a treat to his poor mother (and the poor children around his home), but then got accused of stealing, and then didn’t want to say that it was because his only remaining parent was living in poverty. And it continues through the present day! He knocks out Feng Xin so he can save him from a burning city, because Feng Xin refuses to leave, and people are like ‘>:OOO MU QING ATTACKED FENG XIN??’ In some ways, this character hurts me more than the others, because he rarely does anything wrong, he has a bad attitude, but his most significant “missteps” tend to be like ‘you could have been a little more kind, tbh.’

But also too, I’ve been working my way through the svsss extras again, and... Shen Jiu. God, Shen Jiu. This character is agonizing, and I love him so much. He makes terrible choices! He does terrible things! He tries to set up an actual literal child to die horribly, because he resents that this child had a parent who loved him, and that he found his way to Cang Qiong young enough to reach his full potential! It’s absolutely unforgivable! But nobody except Yue Qingyuan has any clue how much Shen Jiu has been through and how to possibly help him grow or heal or how to support him into better decision making. And Shen Jiu is so hurt by the way Yue Qingyuan left him that he refuses to let Yue Qingyuan help him now. Like! This child was a slave, begging for food on the streets, then was sold to a rich boy who abused him in sexually-flavored ways and planned to marry him to his sister so he could keep him forever, and then his “rescuer” was a scumbag adult who taught him to steal and murder.

And while Shen Jiu was suffering, he thinks Yue Qingyuan, who came from the same beginning and who promised to come back for him, was living in careless pampered luxury in a prestigious cultivation sect. Shen Jiu’s own self-evaluations are incredibly harsh, from the moment he’s reunited with Yue Qingyuan. He calls himself terrible, he calls himself a thing, and once it’s clear that he’s going to pay the price for his bad decisions, he tries hard to shove away the one person who cares about him and find some way to protect him. Yue Qingyuan never stopped loving him and defending him, but literally nobody else in the world has any sympathy for him whatsoever. How am I not supposed to be heartbroken? Shang Qinghua sighs over how his readers used to hate on Shen Qingqiu for having no motivations, which, sure, that’s understandable from what’s on the “Proud Immortal Demon Way” pages, but seeing the trauma driving his choices in svsss and seeing his own self-awareness and self-loathing and knowing that one (1) person in-universe has any inkling of his internal world (and that person died trying to help him), I’m! In pain!!!

Plus, in svsss proper, I saw a post in passing once that was something like... ‘readers are hard on luo binghe, because he’s the only mxtx protagonist where we see the worst decisions of his life and aren’t in his head to understand why he’s making those decisions.’ Which I still find fascinating, and think about often. It makes sense to me. And as far as my terrible-decision-making children go, he’s very interesting to me because he doesn’t really deal with the widespread distaste/mistrust that mu qing and shen jiu experience, it’s very much targeted on one person. I live for the parts of svsss where all Luo Binghe has to do is breathe, and Shen Qingqiu flinches and bolts. And Luo Binghe is not acting in kind or well-considered ways, a lot of the time! But he was seventeen, and his beloved teacher had told him that ‘humans can be good or evil, demons can be good or evil,’ but the moment Luo Binghe turned out to be half demon, even though he’d just been fighting desperately trying to protect Shen Qingqiu, that teacher he trusted more than anything immediately turned on him, stabbed him in the chest, and threw him into hell.

That’s agonizing!!!! Even without the aftermath, that’s agonizing to read! And when Luo Binghe comes back, years later, he’s upset, he’s hurt, he’s lonely, he’s still stinging from that betrayal, of course he’s not making good decisions. I follow good blogs, because I haven’t seen any terrible Luo Binghe takes on my dash, but I’m kind of :c that these takes apparently exist. Again, it’s not that I think he makes good decisions, but I can see why he makes bad decisions, and I can see other characters missing that context, and I am rolling in terrible, glorious pain. Luo Binghe shows up secretly in Huan Hua Palace and starts taking it over and generally acts shady as heck? Well, Shizun wouldn’t let him beg for forgiveness when he was a disciple, and he’s afraid to face Shen Qingqiu until he can meet him on a semi-equal footing. Luo Binghe gets angry and spiteful when Shen Qingqiu asks if he’s responsible for the sowers? Yes he does! He’d always, always tried to do right by Shen Qingqiu, and trusted Shen Qingqiu when he said demons could be decent people, but the moment he turned out to be half-demon, Shen Qingqiu immediately started expecting the worst from him at every turn. It hurts! I don’t blame him for acting on that hurt! And I am so endlessly compelled by the way that Shen Qingqiu completely fails to recognize the context for where Binghe is coming from.

And like... I cannot leave out Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao. Xue Yang is fascinating in his own way, because the steps are... a lot more explicit and clear-cut than some of these other characters. Shen Jiu’s downward spiral is very internal and he curls up tight to hide his weak spots even with the person who values him most in the whole world, but Xue Yang very plainly tries to lay out his reasoning for his most important person. His whole world is crumbling by the time things reach that point, and it was probably beyond salvaging, but god! He tries so hard to explain the position the world placed him in, from childhood onward, helpless and vulnerable, and that nobody was going to defend him except himself.

But when Xiao Xingchen doesn’t understand what he’s trying to communicate, when he realizes that the person he values most isn’t willing to hear what he’s trying to say, he starts lashing out again and trying to hurt. It’s the same lesson he learned when he was young, in some ways. ‘If I’m stupid enough to trust you, you’re going to use that to hurt me.’ And then the logical next step, ‘If you’re going to hurt me, all I can do is try to hurt you worse.’ You can see the trauma playing out right there on the page, and it’s agonizing. I can understand some people not enjoying reading things that make them hurt that way, but I have trouble Getting it when people don’t at least find that kind of dynamic compelling as hell. I’ll sometimes avoid media that I know is going to make me sad, but if I’m in the mood to Experience Sadness, I know a dynamic like this is going to grab me by the heart and shake me like a ragdoll.

And... Jin Guangyao. He was on my mind too, partly because I’ve seen a few takes on his motivations lately that honestly kind of baffle me? Like, to each their own, especially since mdzs never takes us inside his head. But I see posts that like... he was bullying Nie Mingjue, or what if Lan Xichen could Tell he was never genuine and mistrusted him on some level, and how to put this. It’s not that I agree with the choices he made, though I really don’t want to play fandom purity police in any way, shape, or form (murder is good, actually), but I understand the choices he made enough that those sort of interpretations that skew towards the cruelty-for-the-sake-of-cruelty territory honestly kind of upset me.

There’s some interesting comparisons to be made with Mu Qing, in some ways. They both grew up poor, without a father, in “shameful” single-parent situations (a sex worker mother vs. a father being executed for being a criminal). They were poor boys with ambition, but no matter how they tried to carry themselves with dignity, those poor beginnings were rubbed in their faces, years after the fact. I think it does make a real difference that Mu Qing’s shame is mostly based in his own history (sweeping floors) while Jin Guangyao’s is more external (son of a whore), and that Jin Guangyao’s also insulted a parent who he loved dearly, and that Mu Qing was seeking the respect outside of famiial structures while Jin Guangyao was desperate to be accepted by his father.

There’s so much of Jin Guangyao’s early life that’s like ‘I’m Just Trying To Live My Life, My Dude,’ and it hurts me to watch. He really didn’t have goals that were all that excessive! If his goals were excessive in some way, it’s only by virtue of how highly ranked his father was, which isn’t his fault. His goal: ‘I want my father to accept me into the family.’ What the world saw: “oh my god, this son of a whore SERIOUSLY wants to be brought into this noble family, lmaooooo.’ There are characters who are more compassionate than that, and a lot of that reaction is down to the nature of the setting, but LORD, man! It’s honestly a pretty restrained goal for a kid to have! Especially when his father totally promised to come back for him someday, and he waited patiently for years before setting out on his own.

And even once he gets kicked down the steps of Koi Tower and dials back his ambitions, he gets so little space to breathe. He’s learning cultivation late, he takes a position as a nobody in a different cultivation sect, he’s just trying to live. But no matter how he rolls with the punches, no matter how he smiles and bears it, he’s being constantly, constantly prodded in that old, painful bruise. I’ve been finally working my way through The Untamed, and it was painful to watch, in Gusu, when he’s trying to present the Nie Sect’s gift to Lan QIren, and people just start focking gossiping about him, right there, perfectly audibly. And when we see him back in Qinghe, he’s perfectly polite and deferential, and that one disciple is still like ‘fuck you, ur mom was a whore.’

He makes bad decisions, but even when he makes good decisions, he can’t win. I don’t get anything from him at all that suggests he had Hugely Lofty Ambitions from a young age, he just wanted some kind of decent life, but almost nobody would cut him a break. Nie Mingjue did cut him a break, and Lan Xichen was gentle and kind to him, and that made such an impact on him. But I also think it made it that much worse, when he made later questionable decisions, and Nie Mingjue refused to let him explain himself. Nie Mingjue’s rigidity breaks my heart in lots of ways, but especially when it comes to Jin Guangyao. I don’t want to make this all about personal attachment, but it’s kind of inescapable in this situation. Nie Mingjue sends him a loud, violent message that if he’s not perfectly morally upright, he’s Done. But by now, Jin Guangyao has years of history of people being cruel to him based on a history he never was able to control. Nie Mingjue protected him, but hes made it clear that protection was... conditional. There could be arguments about how conditional, and what the non-murdery limits would have been, but the murder has been done, and it was already clear that Nie Mingjue never had the power to protect him from everything.

I can’t read Jin Guangyao’s later actions without also reading that fear and insecurity into his decisions. He even tries to say it outright, that he’s afraid of everyone and everything, and Nie Mingjue misses the point. Jin Guangyao hurts me a lottle, because he suffers both in terms of the general public’s judgment of him, but also in the judgment of someone he cared deeply about. I can see the reasoning and trauma, but so many other people in the story can’t. Jin Guangyao gets pushed to the edge by how his father holds him at arm’s length from the family, the atrocities he tells Jin Guangyao to commit on his behalf (and then maybe I’ll treat you like my actual son, maybe), but when he tries to express that, Nie Mingjue is like ‘can’t you just endure more, though??’ He builds a temple with a statue with the face of his dead beloved mother, and the public is like ‘omg, he made that statue with his OWN FACE, can you believe it??’

In some ways, the way Lan Xichen determinedly loves and trusts him makes it all hurt even worse. I absolutely believe Jin Guangyao when he says that he never once wanted to act against Lan Xichen. So many of the terrible decisions Jin Guangyao makes tie so directly to him seeking either safety or security. But he works hard in social gatherings to keep the peace and people think he’s two-faced. He endures years of mistreatment before hitting back and people judge him for hitting back at all and say that well, what else could we have respected from someone with that background. Nie Mingjue threatens to kill him multiple times, and he was a very straightforward, honest man, of course Jin Guangyao was frightened of him and decided it was safer to see him dead. I live for the pain of seeing a character I love make decisions I strongly disagree with, understanding why they’re making those decisions, and seeing other characters not understand, and simply hate them for the decisions.

This isn’t exactly new, this is why I’ll never be able to shake my love for Starscream, even if his quality of motivation... varies by continuity. And Pharma and Prowl are two of my favorite characters in all of idw1 for exactly this reason. I’ve got at least three fics brushing up against Pharma’s resentment over ‘yes, i got ordered to run a hospital on a garbage planet I was sharing the most violent, sadistic decepticons in existence, I SURE WONDER WHY I WAS DRIVEN TO THIS DESPERATE POINT, BUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THINKS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON, SO I GUESS THAT’S THAT.’

And in the murderbot books, I genuinely get reduced to tears when murderbot has to deal with people compassionately interpreting its behavior instead of giving it no credit, the way its used to. I find the raksura books intensely, intensely satisfying in how Moon struggles to fit into a highly social, close-knit society after growing up so traumatized and alone, and how his colony gradually adapts to him and gets used to his quirks, instead of driving him out, the way he’s experienced so many times. No real conclusion here, I was just spacing out during a work training call, and got overtaken by how much I love characters who experience this particular flavor of emotional isolation.

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eldritch-elrics · 3 years

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svsss: the (not so) grand return of peerless cucumber

so a LOT happened in the chapters i read last night (44-49) and i have. SO many thoughts

not as many as i had right after i read but i really had to go to bed so i couldn’t write them all up.....

i put some reactions in individual posts but i’ll repeat them here!

first of all. shang qinghua. fucked off to the demon realm. like, good for him? but also. i want to see my boy

binghe keeping sqq’s body??? xue yang vibes OFF the charts

so I’M IN LOVE WITH THE MUSHROOM PLOT

i love how every so often sv will hit me with a twist that is SO up my alley that i just. lose it a little bit

HE MADE HIMSELF A CLONE BODY OUT OF MAGICAL MUSHROOMS AND TRANSPORTED HIS SOUL INTO IT.

i love mushroom shit and i love bodyswapping and. my god.

the fact that sqq has died twice and been forced to inhabit 3 different bodies??? wei wuxian wishes he were this cool

sidenote but the mental image of sqq doing radio calisthenics in the forest is really funny. or maybe it’s just funny to me because of the associations i have with this one time in japanese class?

sqq’s new body looking like a cross between shen yuan and shen qingqiu is really interesting and perhaps... symbolic....?

also hey does this mean he doesn’t have to deal with the cureless poison anymore. i assumed that it would be cured in his eventual sexytimes with binghe but hmmm i guess not!

the point where i really lost it was when he realized he was disconnected from the system. i know now that it wasn’t permanent but that was just so interesting, how much he hates it and wants it gone. which makes sense! even though it has helped him get out of bad spots at times, it’s a sign that he’s not really from this world. now i’m just really curious what’s gonna happen to the system at the end of the novel. maybe it’ll shut off once he achieves the “goal” it’s seemed to have set for him and gets together with lbh?

also i’m glad that sqq seems to have matured a little bit in terms of his people skills / problem solving skills? though uh. remains to be seen how he’ll act in front of binghe when binghe realizes who he is

it also seems like i was completely wrong about sqq’s motivations for sacrificing himself lol. lot more selfish than i thought? but it makes sense! fun twist

mxtx sure likes to have her protagonists execute plots that they don’t tell the reader about until after they happen lol (i’m thinking of the golden core transfer)

uhh back to plot reactions

love the running joke about peerless cucumber. also the demon names... six balls <3

also hold on a minute, peerless cucumber is a dick joke? lmao

thank you airplane for making it clear binghe has a big dick. absolutely vital character information

so i’ve said this before but sqq’s narration really CARRIES this novel. here i’m thinking specifically about his diatribe against sha hualing’s nails

shl is pretty fun. sexy evil lady!

sqq can turn his fan into a blade. nie huaisang get ON that smh

yang yixuan my beloved!

also HAHA i predicted that sqq’s super mushroom powers could help the xin mo thing and i was RIGHT

so sqq is just. SO invested in getting the plot back on track. like with all the harem members and stuff. it’s so funny because like bro. surely you’ve noticed by now that things are going very differently than in pidw. and also... you don’t WANT to go back on the pidw track bc that would kill you!!!

so the system reactivates when binghe turns up right? i am thinking about. the fact that when it tries to reboot it’s like “contacting customer service”

WHO IS CUSTOMER SERVICE.

it’s so interesting because like... obviously the whole system thing is so much bigger than just A Book? it’s even got airplane trapped inside it. and he’s the fucking author! who is running this thing? and for what purpose?

sqq listening in on the gossip about how lbh is DEFINITELY obsessively in love with him was SO funny. poor man

so binghe. he has become so COLD

i don’t like it :(

once more. my dude go to therapy.

wait also random but sqq has a beard now and for some reason that’s so funny to me

life at the palace seems terrible lmao no one is doing ok

smh, mxtx protags keep dying and staying dead for huge amounts of time and then coming back in different bodies

the fact that binghe’s happiest memories are training with sqq :(

THE FACT THAT BINGHE IS ABSOLUTELY SHIT AT KISSING

my god. that entire scene

went from “awwww headpats” to “AAAAAAAA”

the fact that the system congratulates him i’m sjkdhgjhsdhgjsds poor sqq.... didn’t ask for this shit.......

after 50 chapters, he’s finally realized he turned the male lead gay <3 say goodbye to all those funny oblivious moments!

i had to stop there because it was way too late at night but wow. we shall see how this relationship progresses

i can’t see it improving anytime soon but at least sqq knows lbh likes him now???

i had a LOT of thoughts last night but now i’m pretty much just like. i really need to see where it goes before i make any judgements on bingqiu

rn i’m not a big fan because 1. sqq is so wildly uncomfortable (understandable lol, even if lbh thinks it’s just a dream) and 2. lbh is very obsessive and that’s not really my favorite trope. but like it’s obviously not meant to be a healthy relationship, at least definitely not right now, and i do like some good fucked up romance! i’m excited to see the developments where sqq realizes what his real feelings are

i’m also fairly neutral on binghe as a character atm. his main personality traits seem to be “obsessed with sqq” and “trying not to die from evil sword qi poisoning” and i don’t find that all that compelling? between him and lwj i have to say that mxtx’s love interest characters are not really my favorite, though i wouldn’t say i dislike either of them.

furthermore i’m slightly concerned with how lbh’s “i’m the main character and i get what i want” attitude is gonna affect the romance. i know there’s some dubconny stuff later which i can’t say i’m excited for but i am excited to see how binghe’s character is gonna develop in general

my aspirations for bingqiu is that they’re both able to eventually break free of the expectations of the system

because, look at this from sqq’s pov. there’s this ai in your head that has, for literal years, been steering you towards a romance that you (at least outwardly) don’t want. isn’t that fucking terrifying? i love it. the system (at least how i see it) has been bending the established plot of the world in order to make this happen. it’s like fate but you can see the gears turning.

and even if sqq does end up liking lbh back, can you imagine the existential crisis of like. wondering if he really CHOSE to get with binghe or if he was somehow compelled to by the system which acts based on binghe’s emotions?

i think that would be so interesting

however what i think is Actually going to happen (based on that one time when airplane was like “hey cucumber, uh, is lbh just a character to you or is there more...”) is that sqq is gonna realize that he’s had a bit of a crush on binghe since reading pidw and is only just now dealing with his internalized homophobia. so him getting together with binghe has less strings attached

i think there’s some opportunity here for a commentary on the soulmate trope? because svsss is just so steeped in themes about agency and fate. i think that would be really cool but we’ll have to see. i feel like the ending is gonna be simpler and happier than i want it to be but obviously i cannot make any judgements yet! i’m just having Thoughts :)

so, i also read one of the extras (the one where he goes with lqg to battle succubi) because the translation i’m reading recommended it! it was pretty fun

sqq SO clueless. like i get it, he doesn’t think he’s into anything other than Pretty Cis Women, but. sqq we’ll work on this

also ASKING LQG IF HE’S A VIRGIN. sqq literally stop

(that was so funny though)

liu qingge ACE RIGHTS

actually lqg’s outburst in this chapter was kind of bizarre and can be explained in a few different ways i think?

i really like the idea of him being aroace. thinks true love doesn’t exist etc

i feel like the intended implication of lqg’s outburst is that he’s realized madame meiyin is referring to binghe and is like “holy shit no sqq can’t be with Him”

maybe lqg is just homophobic?

but i. also kind of wonder if lqg is gay and in love with sqq? and is just putting up the “such deep love doesn’t exist” thing because he really doesn’t want sqq to know

there was that whole line where the succubus was like “well you’re not his soulmate you don’t know” and it made me think

on the other hand i can’t really see lqg liking sqq that way; they seem to have more of a Bro Bond

then again lqg does keep fighting binghe for sqq’s sake

either headcanon is fun! i’d be excited for more insight into lqg in general i think

#my god this is long #svsss #svsss spoilers #finn reads scum villain #my post

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pbaintthetb · 3 years

Note

Who are your top ten favourite MXTX characters?

what a question! hmm, this might not be entirely accurate because like a lot of the characters occupy the same level/they change depending on my mood, interests/the wind, but-

1 Nie Huaisang (obviously, my awful scheming chessmaster brilliant shitty magnificent bastard. you go king, you go)

2 Mu Qing? (eye rolls are funny, I vibe with him, think he gets a bad rep. good with kids, angry, good memory- actually love that, emotionally repressed)

3 Jiang Cheng (similar to MQ I guess? Like he brings all his problems on himself but I still feel bad for him and I find him easy to understand with if harder, but still possible to sympathise with. I also think he's kind of an awful person, but all the best characters are)

4 Shang Qinghua (I feel him on a spiritual level, I love him, he is so dumb I love him so much. god bless)

5 Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu ( he is also funny and i vibe, but especially in how he reacts to people/things)

6 Wen Qing (queen, doctor, actually really like that she's clearly very powerful but chooses not to fight. likely on moral grounds but i like the idea of it being a pragmatic well we're gonna lose this war kinda thing but no. i like that she has her principes and such, il ike that she's powerful and has her own agency she's just great)

7 Feng Xin (he would be lower but MQ, so yeah, I like him. I think he's funny, sir you literally have a wife why are you so terrified of women)

8 Liu Qingge (i like him, cba to explain)

9 Nie Mingjue (I like him but there's not much about him in canon so)

10 Jin Guangyao/Meng Yao (what a little slippery toxic bastard snake)

#ask #mxtx #mdzs #svss #tgcf #anyone else surprised that mdzs is mosty low?#thanks for asking #also before anyoen comes for me #i do like wwx #i just find him hard to understand because he's too good lmao

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neoblogcrying · 5 years

Text

“Tea talk”

I wanted to practice trying to write Shang Qinghua, shame™ and all, so here is this. It’s a lil fic about SQQ and SQH talking over cups of tea, discussing their bent husbands. If someone reads this, I hope you enjoy! I did my best to write for our lovely transmigrators. OTL Sorry if it’s no good. |||||||

“You’re telling me the reason why he cries all the time is because you advised him to act weak in front of me?” Shen Qingqiu asked with half his face hidden behind his fan as always.

Shang Qinghua could only nod his head in response. There wasn’t much that he could do about it at the time, you know? He had the protagonist staring at him, looking for answers! He was scared for his life! “Cucumber bro, I wanted to live another day and I told him whatever I could to keep my life. In the end, isn’t it easier to tame him this way?”

Let’s conveniently ignore the fact that it may have awakened the M in him.

No, he was probably already like that due to his upbringing. Shang Qinghua had his ‘lovely Cucumber bro’ to thank for that. It was weird seeing the character that he lovingly created turn bent for the ‘villainous scum’ for that matter!

If he had to explain it, it was like sending off your daughter to marry some punk, who surprisingly ended up being an okay kind of guy. All things considered, Shang Qinghua liked the other male. They were both from Earth and so they could relate to each other about how 'sad' they were.

Certainly, Luo Binghe was easier to deal with this way, but it was still too weird! The gap was immense! Illogical!

It seemed that Shen Qingqiu was willing to let the matter go for now as he brought the tea cup to his lip to sip the tea quietly. There was a contemplative look on his face as he was thinking something over to himself. The imagery of Luo Binghe coming to him alone for advice was too ridiculous. There had to be others there at the time, right?

“Was he the only one you told this to?” Shen Qingqiu raised another good question.

Thinking it over, there were other people there at the time, including Mobei Jun and even Sha Hualing.

“As I’m sure you've guessed, we weren’t alone. I may be shameless, but I wouldn’t try to steal him from you, Cucumber bro. Relax.”

The sound of a tea cup slamming onto the table almost surprised Shang Qinghua out the door. If there were any suspicious movements on his part, he was sure that his ‘son’ would come running out to flay him.

‘I lovingly create you from my own mind and this is how you repay me!?’ He’d cry as he’d get hacked down while clinging onto Luo Binghe’s thighs, begging for life. That’s the scenario the 'Shameless theatre' played in his head.

On the other hand, Shen Qingqiu had his own thoughts running through his mind: ‘Who is worried you’ll steal Luo Binghe away! If anyone could steal him away, they’d be wearing the Protagonist’s halo! How shameless! You may be the author, but there is a limit to how much you want to play at God! If anyone is getting stolen away, it would sooner be me, and Luo Binghe would destroy the world in the end!’

Just thinking about it… how scary! The protagonist was too scary!

Stop thinking about it. Don’t bother with it. Shen Qingqiu had to fan himself to calm himself down.

Ahem.

“Was Mobei Jun there?” He asked calmly.

“Huh? Yeah… he was there, why?”

Why are you bringing him up? Could it be…?

Shock was painted across his face. That can’t be right! There’s no way! How could you thrust such an idea onto him? Show some mercy, will you?

“Cucumber bro, you’re even more shameless than me. Is Luo Binghe not enough for you? He’s got the highest Stallion potential, you know? Now you want Mobei Jun to answer to your beck and call? I won’t have it, even if I have to fight against you.”

“Cut the crap!” A fan came crashing down onto the crown of Shang Qinghua’s head. The latter whimpered in response. He was always being beaten by everyone. Mobei Jun, and now his good Cucumber bro.

Is there anyone in this world who was more pitiful than him?

“I have my hands full with that sticky Luo Binghe. I have no need for another.” He huffed, not caring to hide his annoyance with the other.

Just hearing his name, Luo Binghe peeked his head out from the kitchen. “Did Shizun call for this disciple?” It was like you could see a tail wagging from behind him, he was that happy. Did calling you by name make you that happy? Were you not busy cooking food?

With a displeased snort, he waved a hand to wordlessly tell Luo Binghe to go back to what he was doing, which was cooking food for him to eat. “This Master still hungers.” That was all he needed to say to remind his disciple on what he was doing.

“This disciple will quickly procure a feast for Shizun!” His voice was full of adoration and adulation for his Shizun.

Ha… you really don’t have to go that far…

That being said, Shen Qingqiu was already salivating at the thought, but you couldn’t tell because of his Mater-level poker face!

To think the cool and suave protagonist could turn into such… such… A WHIPPED PUPPY!

Shang Qinghua wanted to cry for his son’s honor, but even he had to admit that Luo Binghe seemed happier this way. For the sake of his son’s happiness… please continue to stick with him. May your ass rest in piece, Cucumber bro. The shameless author offered a prayer for Shen Qingqiu’s ass.

As if he could sense a disturbance in forces, a small shiver ran up Shen Qingqiu’s spine. “As I was trying to say… don’t you think the reason Mobei Jun harbors feelings for you… is because of your words?”

How could that be?

Shang Qinghua had spent many nights laboring over how Mobei Jun turned out this way. He thought that maybe it was his authority as the author that caused this. Who told him to design Mobei Jun to fit all his aesthetics, anyways? It was impossible for him NOT to feel strongly for his own creation.

He had such an attractive face. He was tall and had a nice, firm body. His voice? It sends shivers down his spine (good and bad). He was powerful and had a good lineage as well. What more could you want in a man?

Even now Shang Qinghua looks at Mobei Jun and wonders how it was possible for such a perfect demon could exist. If he had any complaint, it would be that his skin was too cool to the touch and it would make the winter time a struggle.

Mobei Jun was the best (let’s ignore Binghe for now), and he should have legions of women begging for his favor! He was weaker than Luo Binghe, but he was just as strong of a bachelor—BUT! HE! WENT! BENT!!!

Just because your superior goes bent, you do the same thing!? Where is the logic in that!? Shang Qinghua wanted to cry.

Not only that… he… HE REALLY SUCKED IN BED!

Shouldn’t you have some Godly skills or something? He is your maker! He designed you to be skilled in various fields! The author lamented to the skies, conveniently forgetting that he never designed a bent Mobei Jun, so it made sense that he was lacking skills in that area.

Still, he was a quick learner, so he was sure the pain he feels will only last for a short while! Soon enough, he’ll be able to put Luo Binghe to shame! These are the words coming from the author himself, so he can’t be wrong! Shang Qinghua seemed to puff out his chest at the thought.

Though… what did Cucumber bro mean by his words? “What do you mean?”

“In order to appeal to a man, you have to act obedient… cute… weak… lovable… and must evoke a feeling of protection…” Shen Qingqiu kept glancing at Shang Qinghua in between sips of his tea, trying to make a point.

He could only see a poker face to start, but as he spoke, it seemed like the other was finally starting to get it.

HE’D INADVERTENDLY SEDUCED MOBEI JUN WITH HIS OWN WORDS! HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME FOR BENDING MOBEI JUN!!!

“Ughh… no way… I… I bent him myself?” The author lamented. How could he be so blind to not have realized this when he gave advice to Luo Binghe that day? It’s true that Mobei Jun could be characterized as being his ‘ideal man,’ but wasn’t it a shame to have him be bent? He could have all the women he wanted in the world!

Ah… but… who would suit him? Nothing but the best for his Mobei Jun!

Gripping the teacup hard in his hand, he downed the entire cup, almost scalding the top of his mouth in the process. Yep.

Perfection is the only thing that suits perfection. As the author of this world, he is like a God, is he not? Who is more perfect than God? That’s right, no one. In other words, he’s perfection.

Nailed it!

He’d shamelessly tacked on the ‘perfect’ tag onto himself that made him worthy enough to be with Mobei Jun.

Only someone as shameless as this author could do such a thing or write such shameless characters. Face it, the real reason you were transmigrated into Shang Qinghua’s body had to be because you were kindred spirits.

With all seriousness, who understood Mobei Jun the best? Who would know his likes and dislikes better than the author who created him? If anyone knew how to make him happy, it should be him.

“You blamed me for bending him, but I can throw this back at you. You bent Mobei Jun.” Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. If you blame him for bending Luo Binghe, he’ll blame you for bending Mobei Jun! “Have another cup of tea.”

“Thanks… but I’d rather a cup of wine. How about we toast for our bent husbands?”

#scum villain #svsss #scum villain's self-saving system #neo writes drabbles #((idk what else to tag this as))#((i really hope i did their characterization justice. i tried otl))

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