#I really dunno what made me write this

[alostlittleriverlotus]

One thing I really dislike about people being "empaths" is just how romanticized the term is or how it's seen as some spiritual thing.

I have high empathy (learning about the difference ones, it's high affective empathy while I'm learning cognitive empathy for when my disorders cloud my feelings aka a BPD episode or any jealousy, etc.) and it's part of me being autistic. It just feels too much like that indigo child bs that is just trying to make autistic folks seem like they're some magical other-wordly beings. And this is as an autistic person that identifies with non-human feelings due to my own experiences as well as trauma.

I just find the term empath is too stereotyped into this magical super power than what it actually is. I genuinely do qualify for what an "empath" is, but like- I just hate the term so much. And if you're one of those who fall under it like me and don't mind the term, no hate to you unless you're someone stereotyping "scary bad disorders" or generally being ableist. But it's just a word that I hate and I often feel it undermines the fact that high empathy isn't some super power, it's another part of being human. People have high empathy, people have low empathy. Hyperempathy is common in autistic folks and so is being hypoempathetic. I fall on the hyperempathy side along with a friend of mine while plenty of people I know have lower empathy (not necessarily exceptionally low or anything) or like my brother may be hypoempathetic. Empathy is just another part of being human, not in the way of "it makes us human." But it's like feeling love or not feeling love, experiencing sexuality or not. It falls into a spectrum, a range. Some people feel it intensely, some people feel it not at all. It's just another weird feature of us that exists. It is not some magic super power because we experience it in high volumes.

I've just never liked the romanticization of high empathy as some good and holy being. I have high empathy. I've felt immense guilt over my own actions and it's worsened by my BPD. I've been shitty and transphobic. I've demonized people and used ableist terms. I've hurt people I've cared about and said awful things to them. And as I mentioned at the start, I have lapses in my empathy due to my disorders. I just don't see the point to caring so much about being hyperempathetic. Advice for those with it is wonderful since setting boundaries and such is very important when you're so quick to want to help others cause you can empathize deeply, but in the end, it's just the way some of us are. I don't see a point to romanticizing it or why it's turned into some super power or spiritual thing. It's another part of me that exists. It doesn't matter where you fall on the empathy spectrum. It doesn't dictate most things in the end.

This is just a jumbled rant to say I really don't care about the term "empath" because I feel it turns it into some spiritual super power and takes away from the fact that it's just something some people have. It's not some special power that rare people have. I get finding comfort in spaces, but I just don't get all the romanticization or spirituality surrounding it. And with how many people parade around as "empaths" and go to demonize others, that has added to my strong dislike of the word. Like if you identify with the word and you're chill and all, sure go ahead. This post isn't about you. It just is NOT for me and it comes with too many problems. It reminds me WAY too much of how indigo children is used to make autistic people seem special and non-human which completely ignores the fact that autism is a disability and can have a lot of struggles with it. It feels like just romanticizing the good traits and ignoring the bad that most people often face discrimination and ableism for.

High empathy comes with struggles too anyway. It's so emotionally taxing I wish I didn't have it sometimes. And then it makes me feel worse cause of the gaps in my empathy or when I have BPD episodes and can't stop myself from letting my emotions go and then my hyper empathy makes me feel what they feel and that just makes me hate myself more and convince myself I'm a monster. It's nice I guess if you were taught boundaries and how to learn to manage it, but lol I did NOT get that so I've basically had to learn basic coping skills and boundaries on my own. Which sucks.

Eh, this is just a personal rant. The term itself just feels icky. It isn't even that difficult to say high empathy or hyper empathetic imo. I just don't understand people sometimes. And I'm a pretty spiritual person too, but I feel romanticizing our traits as some other worldly thing just feels like it loses touch with reality. But that could just me being personally triggered since the line between mundane and magic is VERY important for me since I struggle with psychosis and being on the schizospec. And again, this is all personal and how I feel. And I'm about done. That's all I gotta say. So laterz.

Edit: Apparently some empaths use the term as someone along the terms of psychic, but basically just more in-tuned to understanding needs. Honestly I see it so often used as a spiritual term, but also used for high empathy. I just don't get it and I feel even if it was a witchcraft term unassociated with hyperempathy, it has been changed and used in a more casual sense that it loses its original meaning. Cause some articles use empath in a psychology way and some use it as some magical thing. I don't know, I'm tired. I just don't like the word overall at this point. Whether one or another was the original use, I don't know and I don't think I care. If it's a part of your personal practice, go off buddy. It's not for me and so it's not up to me. I just feel there's so much surrounding it that it doesn't even feel clear anymore.

#empath #empaths #empathy #high empathy #hyperempathy #I really just don't like the word honestly #It feels like it's turned into some super power rather than just being something humans may have #It's fine if you wanna romanticize your own traits I do that to cope with my bpd a lot #But it feels so disconnected with how I see communities and most people with hyperempathy #If you like the term that's fine it's just me #But it really does just feel way too glorified #random rant #random thoughts #I really dunno what made me write this #I'm literally so exhausted lol #I literally feel like I have to rationalize cause of anxiety #I'm so paranoid #actually bpd #actually autistic #actually hpd #actually schizospec #witch #practicing witch #spirituality

[scattered-winter]

sometimes i see a post and its like. hm. you actually care very little about the story or characters or plot at all bc all you want is for the token male twinks to kiss.

#i KNOW i know. tumblr. twink kissing website. #but still. genuinely. #my criteria for if i trust someone's takes on voltron are their opinions on allura and hunk. and ships other than klance. #and the non-romantic relationships also. that's a big main one actually. #has not led me astray yet. #like to clarify i LIKE klance ok. i am an enjoyer of them. but idk.....the way that theyre the Only thing anyone writes/cares about. #like yeah klance was done dirty but what about the characters of color. what about the disabled characters. #what about the platonic relationships. what about the familial relationships. what about the themes of war and genocide and imperialism. #what about the very real queerbait that happened right in front of us but everyone ignored #and whined about the fake made up queerbait that happened in their heads. #idk. people can engage with media however they want and its not a horrible world ending thing if they only view it thru the twinks kissing #but i dunno. viewing media with the shipping lens can blind you to all the other things. #AND I KNOW THE IRONY OF POINTING THIS OUT FOR *VOLTRON* OF ALL THINGS. I KNOWWW I KNOW I KNOW. #its not a problem that is exclusively this fandom either i see it everywhere. side eyes buddie fandom. #but idk man. im sick of not being able to find fic/art/meta that is focused on things other than the twinks kissing. #i think thats why im putting such a big focus on the other relationships in quintenary stars tbh. like there IS klance #or will be eventually but its just one of the relationships that will be happening. theyre found family theres siblings theres friends #theres the Themes and the Motifs and the storytelling devices. et cetera et cetera. #anyway this isnt really directed at anyone im just thinking out loud #winter speaks #voltron #anti klance #<- not really???? but i dont want ppl yelling at me so.

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

It’s so difficult being someone will really cool ocs who have really cool stories but I can’t draw well and am unwilling to learn

#people love oc art no one rlly care abt oc writing #things I’ve observed a bit. not like a judgement just smth I think abt #everyone always is like just start drawing we all start somewhere don’t b afraid to b bad at it 🥰 #I don’t want to draw or paint or whatever I don’t like doing it it’s not fun to me. writing is fun to me #it’s just I think less ppl are willing to engage w bits of oc writing at least in online spaces #dunno why it’s just what I notice. ppl r more into drawings of ppl’s ocs and tend to think that the only way to get involved with it #I never really see just pure writing of someone’s ocs being made and spread around #anyway all this to say u all unfortunately will never know much abt my really cool and awesome and epic ocs oh well #reserved for my friends who r reading their story

[keeps-ache]

everyday there's somethin goin on. like the day. or somethin like that

#just me hi #[squinting] there's always something going on #but also ?? what's been happening lol ?? i am only like 34% sure things happened recently #not like i forgot things (i did but-) it feels like nothin is happening. but also there's always Something hbsh #//anyway. my software is being funky again lol :) #kind of wanna do stuff but blaaahahahah #blaaaaaaaah #no motivation really. so sads #GASP but wait i wanted to work on Hid's natural form cuz i want it to be a lil less human-looking #trying to figure how i'll do that though. hmm :^ #cuz see he may have wings but he didn't originally. this is due to Fate stuff but that means he won't have bird legs or summin lol #/MAN and i should digitize Fate asap when my puter gets back lol #i think i've mentioned her like twice but Ough. i gotta draw her ehehegh :33 #/but yea i dunno what angle i wanna try for hid lol !! #something........ sooooomething....... #/cannot WAIT til i've finished the little world stuff i was writing !! boop has all my files tho so until then... #condensing information is my passion hdvhs #//speaking of i gotta make new refs for everyone HH #i just made those new ones last year i think and i Do still like them but aoh. they're inaccurate now hfvsh #like oath's hair changed as did kira's and also i'm redesigning hid So :^ :>> #//man. anywhoogh #i'm gonna skedaddle rn n see if i can get somethin done lol :3 #toodles man !! [skitters away]

[coffeeshib]

the scene in your fic where kara says lena is pretty all over and kisses her face makes me feel..... a lot. im aromantic/greyro but i kind of get romance when i read your words. maybe i love those long drawn out moments in your fics because the line between friendship and romance is being toed.

ahh as someone on the aro spectrum, this is a Huge Compliment. it doesn’t need to be understood, just felt

it's kinda my fav thing to write - the exploration of sc’s friendship before blurring it, & making them ‘more than friends, less than lovers’ or anything of the sorts.

kara & lena's unspoken bond being so strong, writing them in a way where there's little to no hesitancy straddling the line between friendship & romance in supercorp’s own special way & reaching a level of closeness where 'you' & 'i' comes to a halt, no longer two things, & becoming a 'we' mm chefs kiss

#i dunno man; i write romance in a way that feels real to me & it thrills me to hear a fellow aro kind of 'get' it #& having said that i do have plenty of moments where i'm like; does this make sense? does kara & lena look 'in love' enough here? #what they have - is it believable? love feels very different for everyone #i adoreeee writing the buildup; moments of them being supportive & happy with each other; because i need all that to make the #'romance' & connection to make sense to Me. which is why i'm terrible at writing short fics; development & buildup has to be there #it's not just showing to the readers that these two make a good couple - it's also me being certain that they make sense to me too #i don't really talk about this; brain a little brr with romance but i get it to an extent #anyway thank you for dropping by & writing this!! made my day #hope you're having a lovely day #asks

[tvrningout-a]

so!! this is just a little rundown of some potential muses -- it's not set in stone that i'll add anyone, but feedback is appreciated! if there's interest, then there's a reason to write these nerds <3

son daehyun: a grim reaper based upon the lore of tvn's goblin in that souls who have greatly sinned in their former lives become reapers! dae is part of a particular group who take care of "lost souls" who never passed on when they were supposed to; they search after them, much like a detective searching for a missing person, and when need be, they hunt down souls who have become malicious. daehyun himself is a softie who prefers to act tough, often going out of his way to grant the souls' last wishes so they can rest without worry. throughout his long time as a reaper, his only constant is a reincarnated soul, son soojin.

son soojin: an oc based upon the lore of tvn's goblin! soojin has lived her share of lifetimes, choosing time and again to keep her memories after an untimely death separated her from her first love. her conviction is both soojin's greatest strength and her greatest downfall as nothing can stop her from achieving her goals, yet triumph may come at her detriment. currently, she helps run her parents' cafe, acting as manager, bookkeeper, barista -- whatever is needed at the time -- and providing a certain grim reaper with a place he can send off souls to rest.

rin lavellan pickle o'brien: an inquisitor oc for dra.gon a.ge: in.quisi.tion, adaptable to general fantasy! having run away from her dalish clan a long time ago, o'brien made her home in val royeaux as a bard, thief, and information broker known for her insufferable personality as much as her indisputable talents. the nobility love to hate her yet hate each other more; o'brien is not often unemployed, and it is on a job that she finds herself at the conclave and later at the mercy of cassandra pentaghast. it would appear the blast that took so many lives has given o'brien a glowing mark capable of closing tears in the fade. whether willing or not, she finds herself entwined in a fight bigger than mages and templars.

though not fond of being called a " herald, " o'brien falls into her leadership role with surprising ease. or not so surprising, really. she's always had a soft spot for those in need.

canon characters i'm eyeing currently:

l.eon k.ennedy and l.uis s.era of resi.dent e.vil lee chang and yeong-shin of kingdom take.tora and oi.ka.wa of h.aikyuu!! somebody from ju.ju.tsu kai.sen......... i'm undecided tbh asdf

#i have thought about making soojin an npc who i'll write upon request though #but i think i just never got the chance to properly write her so ofc i couldn't feel connected to her portrayal #also i have been contemplating writing oikawa since i first made my multi bc i unfortunately love him #and i really dunno who i would write from jujutsu kaisen?? bc i have favorites but i'm unsure of who i might portray well #anyway!! this is just something to help get my brain to stop thinking so hard about my silly oc's and what canons i might add #i might do a poll or i might get nervous and pretend i never did this -- we'll see uvu #for now let me see if i can find the willpower to be chatty bc i haven't done a great job of that tonight #tbh my mood has been a lil wonky and sensitive so i apologize if i don't get to as many messages as i planned! #get ready to ramble | ooc

[hiruinonai]

   /  You know chief, I actually didn’t know I would be able to feel comfortable writting saito (tho comfortable probably isnt the word? but my brain cant think of a replacement for it ORIUYROITY) ; the reason of this? I tend to not know what to do with this ‘type’ of characters

#;ooc #ooc #THIS IS FR #tbh this might be too early to say but when i made him #i didnt know if i would be able to write him? like u know when u really like a character but u cant write them for whatever reason? #which rarely has that stopped me tbh; example g.il #this happened too with a.rash #i wanted to portray that down to earth sort of attitude without making it look forced- i dunno if i got to reach that but #omg a.rash :blush: #in the case of s.aito like;; i initially was thinking that i wouldn't be able to write what i had in mind #i dunno if he is ic or not but i feel comfortable writting him; like his dialogue and thoughts somehow flow ?? #its also nice bc im used to emotionally constipated muses in the sense that rarely would they approach others ;; but #s.aito is pretty laidback in that aspect; at least well;; f.ate wise #reports said his real life counterpart was much more private and introverted #my s.aito is this way but u wouldn't really get to see this normally #BUT ANYWAYS #the point is that when i made him; for some moment i was like;; :standing man emoji:

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

Thanks to Stroob tho my demons aren't rotting me from the inside anymore. I'm still gonna get them out in the tags because the rot always comes back but like, my ribs aren't fucking disintegrating anymore, so thank u, you demonic fruit

#ok so im fucking. i feel fucking. aaaa so messed up about cGogy because on one hand. he makes me bitter #for a number of reasons #on the other hand i feel really fucking bad about being bitter. its a painful upset from which there is no reprieve #because i like cGeorge when i write him and in certain fics i find. but so much of it just adds to the Rot #and it eats me up inside because i have. no fucking clue if my problem with his character is like. Valid #or if its just personal issues made paper flesh #everyone else seems to like him just fine. he's a sweet little meow meow. whats wrong with me #i dunno whenever i get too messed up about it i just write for him #as if in some fucked up sort of apology #i dont even know how to begin to explain. theres no one to talk about it with #i feel like the fucking flower lung disease. hacking up petals trying to contain the intensity of the emotion #fuck this is stressful. theyre just characters why do i feel so bad about it #projection. thats the word. projecting. is my character interpretation correct or am i doing that #does it matter? i feel like it matters. i dont want to dislike a character for the wrong reasons #i dont want to dislike anyone at all really. makes me feel sad. #Im writing him right now cuddling with Dream. trying to fix it. its sortve working #doesnt make the feeling go away completely. but im happy for a while i guess #blah. tldr i dont like certain aspects of cGogy and it makes me feel like a bad person because i suspect its projection #and everyone else is fine with him so it probably is and im just a little silly #and if i cant trust myself to be impartial with him can i trust any of my interpretations at all? #will my writing suffer because of this? #jesus i need to lay down #Suds Soapbox #<== tagged post-laydown in case I need to find this post again for some godforsaken reason

[fceriestcrdst]

does my sw oc have a ship name with cass & one with poe you ask?....yes...yes he does...

#sephicaptain & sephipilot respectively <3 #i've taken some uh--creative liberties (not many tho) with sephi lore bc i do what i want #its all mostly canon tho--the changes made are like very very very minor!! #just had to tweak bc transmasc sephi <3 <3 <3 + i went the palelavamder skin & pale sky blue eyes <3 #may actually start writing fics of my oc x cass & my oc x poe #there is potential for my oc x cass c poe as like a poly collective but we shall see if i wannt break timelines that badly #that may just remain a selfship thing day & i yell about in discordfor hours <3 #& of course my marvel oc will always have content bc the star to their moon is full my oc x the boys just without saying their name #but it'salso kit bc both these ocs are me & i regret nothing!! #he /was/ ranni but i renamed him & worked him a teensy bit so he's kit spector (grant/lockley as well but legally spector) #even tho in my series you marry steven but thats bc i went a very specific route with it & not my self-ship route that alters canon a #teensy bit (mainly with the marc & layla marriage but that was bc i didnt wanna feel like i was ruining something. yk? its why even in my #-series they are implied to never have dated essentially!!) #i'm rambling bc im excited & content in what i've done for myself---i just!! i dunno!!! #the sephicaptain fic is making me so excited because like--it really /is/ for me & i helped co-write a good chunk of it so i just!!! am so #so so excited for it! #i'll probablypost these fics on tumblr just bc i like posting to tumblr but i'm also gonna post on ao3 & idrc if no one read sit--or cares #--about it bc these are for me & me alone. #i just idk. i feel at peace with how i made graphics for myself. i'm writing for myself & my friends. i'm not longer trapped in a hyperfem #space anymore. my dash feels safe. i feel safe. i feel safe with my friendships for onc ein several years. i just feel safe & feel like me. #i'm truly starting to think th oscar isaac fandom & mk may have genuinely saved me from myself because i don't feel selfish- #-buying stuff anymore or writing for myself anymore. for the firts time in years i'm hanving fun in fandom & it's so refreshing & #comforting. anyways--i'm going to offically shut the fuck up now <3 i just wanted to gush!! gonna go back to dming my bf now <3 #kit rambles

[rosesradio]

.

#actually i am really sick of my family for making me feel like ‘being liberal’ Or Whatever is my only personal trait #because like i used to voice opinions on things until they made me feel bad/crazy for it #but now when they whip out the most batshit insane take on something & i’m just like ‘um i dunno…but to each their own’ #& they still act like i’m crazy i’m so 💀 #like my only cousin who’s into p/j/o was talking about how the new book (& while he ‘doesn’t care’ that Nico’s gay it— #‘came out of nowhere’ 🙄) the new book is written by two authors—one of them being a gay man because Richard wanted the input— #because he didn’t feel qualified to write it as a straight man or something idk #but my cousin. said. that if a straight man ‘can’t’ write a gay story then a woman can’t write a man’s story & vice versa #which. oh my god no #for one thing i do think anyone can write any story even/especially if it’s out of their depth but they should absolutely reach out— #if they want firsthand accounts of experiences like what it’s like to be gay etc #but also. of course a woman can write a man & vice versa what kind of take even is that? like yeah some people do it really weird— #(‘she boobed breastily down the stairs’) #but that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be allowed if anything people should learn about the experiences of others #in general his takes of ‘i don’t Care i just wish it wasn’t Every Character that’s not how it Used To Be’ #like 1.) if richard wrote lgbtq/poc main characters in 2005 he probably wouldn’t have sold many books #and 2.) it’s Greek mythology. you get what you sign up for #anyways yeah i’m really quiet at family functions but even when i just quietly disagree i’m made to feel really bad about it #& the next function is literally my grad party like next week :// #but after that there shouldn’t be anything for a while #rose.txt #tw vent

[noxtivagus]

random thought usually i kin characters that i love the most or characters i rather hate in a way (hate is too strong of a word though hmm)

#i usually don't exactly share things outright or directly abt myself to others. if you go out of your way to do so or analyze me you're #always welcome to do so ngl that intrigues me a lot. i do that w others often n the idea of the same happening to me just feels too foreign #i know hmm why exactly i'm like this rn n i don't care enough anymore to rlly write about it anymore #each time i think i write too much or say too much that's usually when i get worse n worse #earlier this year this summer when i was doing pretty well but then.. 'i talk too much' #n then part of me just disappeared since then #it hurts when it always feels like a part of me is just always hidden in a way. not that it's my intention bcs #i really want to just be myself n be authentic or wtvr but #this.. loneliness that has always been with me that i #hmm. thinking abt it n i haven't had any good dreams lately huh. despite sleeping early i still haven't rlly slept well #n the real world feels like a dream too. n then #this emptiness that's just always there despite all the things that have made me happy lately. it all feels like a dream #the past feels so far away. the sight of the stars the dawn on the horizon. the clouds yonder over the beach #all of it slipping out of my reach. the chill breeze hugging me n how free i felt in all those moments #reaching out.. reaching out wld leave me be to either fall or drown #in a literal sense n. also metaphorically #in hesitance for either outcome. perhaps everything's just taken away by the wind instead. #every trace taken away by the rain that floods my mind? #dunno what i'm writing. i just can't feel that i'm.. living properly. despite all of this #that disconnection or wtvr along w the regret n guilt n wtvr that just. piled up or wtvr #i lost a part of me that night. all these reflections confuse me so much n just warp my mind to other worlds #dilemmas so many dilemmas n these thoughts n emotions just contradict so painfully n #i'm fine. but. i don't want to forsake my progress or my younger n future self n #who am i? what do i want? why can't i.. reach out? incompetence on so many levels it gets hard to hold unto myself #but still i'll hope i guess. still dream n wish n write. but i'm just losing my energy n motivation to connect w reality #i'm sorry. for everything. so much i can't write.. but everything's crammed in my head or smth. but i'll be fine i'm fine #this is my fault. i'll do this on my own. i'm sorry #it's so confusing bcs i love myself more than i hate myself n i know what i need n should do but. yeah #i'll be fine eventually. with wtvr i'll do n wtvr pain so long as i still live even if i lose hope so long as i hold unto tomorrow.. #i'm too tired to reach out for others n for myself anymore. i'm sorry. i'll be fine though i'll just think of other stuff for now

[enibly]

Just found out about the passing of Carlos Reyes of Club Fonograma… he truly changed the world and my life with Club Fonograma, and I don’t even know how to express my gratefulness. Thank you Carlos and know that your legacy remains in the hearts of so many of us.

#Club Fonograma #Carlos Reyes #music videos #I never interacted with him personally but his writing was like… I dunno it just really made me feel like I had a home #His example showed me what kind of person and what kind of writer and critic I want to be #I’ve long wanted to make a physical book of my favorite Club Fonograma pieces and maybe this is the year I do it… #Thank you and Rest In Peace 🖤🎶✍🏼

[kazumasougi]

as good as the rest of the game was im kind of disappointed with some of the postgame stuff :’) like 2018 didnt Have that which is fine but also its kind of strange to me that they would insist you cant finish some of the quests until you finish the main story only for it to feel so empty

#mileposting #gow lb #and i love 100%ing things which is why im actually kind of let down… augh #its ok tho none of this is mandatory #i could write about how intentional it is that things feel so empty (what with atreus leaving and brok being gone and the whole funeral) #but like…… i dunno it just feels like there isnt really a payoff to this #with the valkyries in 2018 it was a whole Thing like you were freeing the souls of actual good people #but this ones just like ‘fight the same thing several times in a row’ AGH #i dunno. it feels like they tried too hard to add new things as opposed to focusing on what made the original good #that said this is still a ridiculously good game dont get me wrong #but. i do wish there was some uh. originality with the postgame #the berserkers all feel dreadfully similar and theres so many of them that its like. Ok?? i guess we’re doing this again

[mariahcarreyyy]

max making u wear a pendant with his initials/driver's number engraved around ur neck coz he likes to watch it swing when u ride him

# 📝 send a prompt and a driver for me to write a short blurb or scenerio ! nsfw 18+ below beware⬇️⬇️

mariahcarreyyy's 2k celebration announcement post

"Where's the necklace?"

Max's words had made you halt. He placed a gentle hand on your collarbone, pushing you gently from where you were mouthing at his neck and stroking his thumb where the gold of his initials should be.

With furrowed brows, you craned your neck down to follow his disheartened glare. The absence of the cool chain around your neck didn't seem quite as important as the growing need for max, max, max.

"Dunno," you mumbled dismissively, rolling your hips from where you were straddling his legs on the bed. "Ah—bathroom, 'think, t-took it off to shower."

Your boyfriend hummed sweetly before lightly tapping the side of your thigh. "Get it."

Barely forcing down a whimper, you bit your lip, tugging on the hem of his baggy shorts. "Max, please, just—"

A taunting, raised brow was enough to have you huffing and hauling yourself off of his lap. The walk from the bathroom and back to Max's arms, barely ten steps, made your eyes glassy and the pleasure stirring in your stomach boil.

You made the mistake of catching your reflection in the mirror: flushed cheeks, hair sprawled in various directions, and an evident pout etched onto your face. The necklace was expensive; you'd known that, but had Max really needed to stop you mid-foreplay to run and get it?

Judging by his cocky smirk and the fact that he'd fumbled out of his clothes in the ten seconds you'd left, you guessed so. Your eyes drifted down his body, past the sweaty abs, and onto his hand, lazily stroking his hard cock. You wanted it inside you, in your mouth—fuck, he was making it really hard to stay annoyed.

"Happy?" you grumbled, your facade slipping when Max swiftly pulled you into his lap, shivering slightly as he nearly ripped the shirt off of your body, the cold air hitting your nipples and Max's wet tongue trailing kisses down your neck.

Moans slip past your lips, and you slide a hand down to the angry, red tip of Max's length. You grin wildly when he groans, the vibrations rippling against your skin and shooting straight down to your core. "More than." He cups the swell of your ass with his massive palms and lifts you up to hover over his dick. "C'mon, shatje, make y'self feel good on m'cock."

And who were you to deny Max that?

The stretch of his cock burned like it always has, spikes of pleasure overcoming the momentary pain. Max's desperate moans mixed with yours, echoing across the room. After a few seconds, Max's palm impatiently striked at your ass, making you jolt and bite your lip to avoid the embarrassing sound that would have left your lips. "M-Max, oh, fuck."

You lifted your hips, almost slipping Max's slick-covered dick out of your wet pussy before dropping back down. Max's eyes were half-lidded, a hazy grin plastered on his face; he watched the gold swing recklessly, worrying his bottom lip at the fast pace you'd set.

Max rolled his hips upward to meet your movements, and the loud yelp that left your lips made you flush. "Fuckk, s'good, baby—ah, all mine, yeah? All. Fucking. Mine."

Punctuating each word with a sharp thrust, Max almost came when your wet pussy clenched around him. "All yours, m'all yours, Max."

That was what the initials on your collarbones stood for, didn't they?

authors note. i havent written in so long pls forgive me everyone

#mariahcarreyyy . . . 2k celebration #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen smut #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen imagine #mv1 smut #mv1 x reader #mv1 x you #mv1 x y/n #mv1 imagine #mv1 fic #mv33 x you #mv33 x reader #mv33 smut #mv33 fic #mv33 imagine #f1 fandom #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fic #formula one x y/n

[srjlvr]

HOW TO NOT SURVIVE HIGHSCHOOL

LYING to his friends about having a girlfriend was definitely not on his ‘how to survive highschool’ list and now, he has to convince his biggest rival that will surely laugh at his face, to fake date him.

PAIRING. rugby player+rival!sunghoon X rival-fem!reader (mentions of the rest of enha, aespa’s karina and boynextdoor taesan)

GENRE. childhood enemies to fake dating to lovers, angst, comedy, fluff and idk what more.

WARNINGS. young sunghoon’s a bitch, so is young y/n, also older sunghoon’s a bitch and so is y/n, manipulating here and there, misunderstandings, miscommunications, definitely curse words (seventh graders already know how to curse here!) , horrible humor, ik its weird but all of the mentioned idols here are the same age! (lmk if i missed something pls!)

WORD-COUNT. 10.4k+

NOTE. ok fine! bully me for not knowing how to make a pretty cover, its the story that matters though, right? anyways besties i really dunno when will be my next update so please be patient!! i miss writing and being here 24/7 honestly but its just been really hard for me.

“i need you to fake date me”

“no”

“please?”

“are you seriously begging right now?”

“yes?”

“that’s fun, get on your knees and beg more”

“are you nuts? i’ll never do that”

“fine then, pay me for that”

“how much?”

“two”

“dollars?”

“billions”

if there’s one thing sunghoon can say about himself is that he’s quite an organized person, therefore he made a list for highschool.

a list that will help him survive his last years in highschool and will help him stay sane at the same time.

he called his list “how to survive highschool”, creative, right?

he’s been following his list and so far managed to survive just perfectly.

staying in rugby team with his friends? check!

“sunghoon! catch!” he heard a voice calling him and saw a ball coming right at him, he caught the ball and ran with it, then passing the ball to riki, his friend and teammate who scored the game and ended it with a win.

“that was a good one! take a break and return in thirty minutes!” the rugby team’s coach clapped and sent the players off for break.

“hey! i got your exam grades here! come collect them!” jungwon, one of sunghoon’s friends waved the exams to show the players he got the them in his hands.

sunghoon went up to jungwon and took his own.

get high grades? check!

“i got A+ again!” he looked at the grade and excitedly smiled.

“ugh, you’re making me sick being the nerdy rugby player” jay, another friends of his rolled his eyes.

“you’re just jealous my grades are higher than your chances with your crush” sunghoon joked.

“oh you—“ “enough! no fighting on break time” heeseung cut jay in the middle of his sentence.

“let’s just get something to snack, it’s lunch time anyway” sunoo suggested and they all nodded.

“you guys ready?” riki asked before they entered the hallway.

get popular enough so students will freak out when they see you? check!

“sunghoon! i got you this chocolate snack! please accept this and enjoy it” a one random student handed him the chocolate snack.

before he could take it, jake snatched it and smiled, “i’ll take that, thank you” and left the girl and sunghoon speechless.

“dude what the fuck?” he asked his friend.

“it could be poisoned for all you care” jake shrugged but proceeded to take a bite from the snack as they kept walking.

“let’s just sit right there!” jungwon pointed at one lunch table as they entered the cafeteria.

“really? right in front of where y/n is sitting?” sunoo whispered in his ear.

“sure, let’s do that” sunghoon replied and started walking towards the table.

“um, i’ll go grab the snacks” riki said and ran to get the snacks.

“did he just-“ “oh, it’s going to be interesting” jake smirked and watched sunghoon as he walked really closer to you, who was sitting with your back towards him.

“so, what are your plans for the weekend?” your friend karina asked as she took a bite of your food.

“oh i don’t really know, probably chilling at home and—“ you were cut off middle sentence by someone bumping into you, causing you to spill some of your food on your uniform.

“what the fuck?” you turned around and saw the person behind it, “should’ve known it was you, park”

get yourself a rival so it’ll be more fun and interesting….? check!

“sorry, couldn’t see you there” he smirked.

“just go away” you rolled your eyes at him and turned to your friend who looked awkward as hell.

“sure” he started to walk but bumped into you again, causing you to spill more food on your clothes.

“oops! that happened again” he chuckled and continued to walk to the table.

“that’s it” that was your last straw.

you got up and took your water bottle, “y/n dont—“ your friend tried to stop you but it was too late already.

as you got closer to sunghoon, you poured all your water on him.

“what the—“ “sorry!! i slipped over and spilled some on you!!” you replied with a smirk and stormed off.

his friends who were watching the whole thing from afar, walked closer to now drenched sunghoon and started laughing.

“damn, that was fun. do it again!” jay cheered.

“here sunghoon i got you a towel!” a student walked up to him and handed him a towel to dry himself.

“thank you, i’ll take it” sunoo said and took the towel.

sunghoon glared at him, “what? you’re already used to being drenched by sweat, it’s the same thing, no?”

“i hate him” you rolled your eyes.

“say, what’s the deal with you and sunghoon? you never really told me and i just assumed he annoys you because he’s a nerdy rugby player,” she chuckled, “but it seems more than that”

“park sunghoon has been on my ass ever since seventh grade” you sighed.

“why? what happened on seventh grade?” she asked, leaving everything she was busy on behind and crossing her hands to focus on you and you only.

before seventh grade you and sunghoon were best friends, hell, your parents could’ve sworn that one day you’ll end up marrying each other.

you were stuck like a glue, always around each other and doing basically everything together, no one could tear you apart.

until, seventh grade happened.

you were the top student in class, you aced everything, from math to arts and received praises from all teachers. for the last few days of school, the teacher wanted you to show the whole school your arts project.

you drew your favorite view, which was your house garden, the teacher got so excited over the drawing and decided she wants you to show it to everyone else too.

a day before the last day of school, you were busy doing the last touches of your art, sunghoon was busy doing his usual, which was to annoy you.

“sunghoon stop! i need to focus” you scoffed.

sunghoon shrugged, “but i’m bored”

“go play around with others or something” you sighed.

he shook his head, “not when i can annoy you!”

he walked back and forth, even twirled around, until he became dizzy and accidentally pushed you over your drawing, making it look like a big mess over the canvas.

you let out a yelp and looked at it with teary eyes.

“i….i’m sorry!” he quickly said.

“get out!” you yelled without even looking at him.

“it can be fixed! just a few little—“ “i asked you to get out! you ruined my drawing! how will i be able to show it to everyone now?” at this point you started crying.

you didn’t show your unfinished and ruined art in front of everyone, instead it was sunghoon’s drawing that was shown to everyone.

your teacher saw the ruined art and decided to change the plans by taking sunghoon’s project and showing it to everyone.

jealousy was eating you alive. it was supposed to be you up there on stage, showing the project to everyone and getting the compliments, you deserve that after working so hard.

it was sunghoon’s fault, all of it.

before you walked away with your parents, sunghoon called you a few times. at first you ignored his callings, but your parents, unbeknown to the whole story behind it, stopped your tracks and told you to go to sunghoon.

with heavy steps you walked closer to him, “what do you want?” you coldly asked.

“i wanted to apologize” he took a deep breath.

“great, you just did”

“wait—“

“we’re good now, i forgive you” you lied. you just didn’t feel like hearing his excuses and explanations.

“wow, really?”

“yeah” no.

although you told sunghoon you forgive him, things became really awkward between the two of you.

summer vacation arrived and you did your best to ignore him, except the times where he left you no choice and just randomly showed up at your house.

eighth grade was cool between the two of you, but you still held strong feelings against him.

he tried his best to overcome the weird awkwardness between the two of you, you’re too important for him to let go. he was honestly so scared of entering highschool without you by his side.

the second half of eighth grade was the last straw between the two of you.

you started crushing over someone in your class, and started hanging out with him, slowly getting close to the guy.

sunghoon, who was carefully watching you from behind, didn’t like your new crush, he seemed like bad news to him, getting close not only to you, but to other girls as well.

your parents, who were strict that time, warned you about dating a guy at such young age, and sunghoon had to do what he had to do.

“park, what the fuck?” you came up to him and pushed him.

“what?” he asked surprised.

“why the fuck did you tell my parents about him?” you shout.

“oh,” he rolled his eyes, “so it’s about him”

“of course it’s about him! you know about my long time crush on him!”

“he’s bad news y/n” sunghoon tried to warn you.

“no, you’re bad news! i should’ve known not to forgive you at all” you scoffed and walked away.

“y/n, wait!” sunghoon called you but you were faster than the light and suddenly was nowhere to be found.

“uh oh” jay, who was there to witness everything pat his friend’s back, “you fucked up”

“yeah, thanks jay i really needed that” sunghoon rolled his eyes.

“really? going behind her back and telling her parents about some guy? you could’ve just talked with her about it” jay snapped.

“it’s not that easy”

“it sure isn’t, and so will be your attempts to talk with her”

jay was right, sunghoon tried everything to get to talk with you, followed you everywhere, sent you numerous texts and calls until you had to block his number, even showed up at your house a few times. nothing helped.

so sunghoon, being the cool teenager he is, decided to move on. he doesn’t need you anymore anyways.

nineth grade came and so did a new student that sunghoon couldn’t take his eyes off of.

slowly he tried his best to get closer to her and spending more time with her, he was so close to confess his feelings towards her.

“did you do that on purpose?” she asked, nothing but hatred in her eyes as she looked at sunghoon.

“do what…?” he asked confused.

“did you tell the whole school about my family issues?” she raised her voice.

“what? no! i would never—“

“forget it, you’re such a jerk!” she yelled and stormed out.

“wait!!” he called her and was about to run after her but his eyes caught a glimpse of a person smirking.

he clenched his jaw and moved closer to the figure, “what the fuck did you do?” he asked.

“nothing, i don’t know what you’re talking about” the person shrugged.

“don’t play dumb, y/n. i know you had something to do with it” he rolled his eyes.

“still don’t know what you’re talking about” you shrugged again, “maybe someone’s just taking a revenge on you, i don't know” you added and left with a smirk.

“i hate you choi y/n!” he shout. “it’s mutual park sunghoon!”

“oh now i get it! yes girl! give him the revenge he deserves to get” karina cheered and you nodded.

“but, don’t you think he ruined your chances with your crush just because he was jealous?” she asked and you glared at her, “i mean, even your parents could’ve sworn you’d end up getting married”

“even if he was jealous, he should’ve confronted me about it” you replied and she nodded.

“you’re right” she sighed, “but what if he was, i don’t know, scared?”

“are you seriously on his side now?” you asked in disbelief.

“never!” she hugged you and you giggled.

“let’s get you cleaned up, i think i have an extra uniform in my locker”

“oh no, walking in school hallways like that is like just straight up asking to be bullied”

“i won’t let anyone bully you bae, let’s go”

“by the way! all of you are invited to my brother’s wedding, no single hoes are invited though, that includes you sunghoon” heeseung chuckled,

“sweet! when is it?” jake asked.

“in a month”

“what? you cannot be serious!” sunghoon complained.

“sorry, your single ass will not be able to handle this wedding” heeseung shrugged.

“even riki has a partner before you” sunoo laughed.

“guys just realized sunghoon is really the only one single here” jungwon added which made everyone laugh and make jokes about him.

“all of you can shut up because i actually do have a girlfriend”

heeseung was obviously joking about sunghoon not being invited because he’s single, but he was not expecting to hear his friend confessing that he actually is seeing someone now.

sunghoon was also not expecting that big lie to come out of his mouth, but it was already too late.

“what?” jungwon spoke first after the silence that surrounded after his confession.

“i do have a girlfriend” no sunghoon, you can still get away with it and say you were joking.

sunghoon’s list of surviving highschool has a lot of tasks still left untouched, but this one was definitely not, and was never written, as one of his tasks on his list.

lie to your friends about having a girlfriend? definitely not on the list, stop with the lies!!!

his friends looked at him in shock. riki dropped the spoon he was about to shove into his mouth, jake choked on his water and heeseung pat his back, jay almost fainted and jungwon and sunoo froze in their place.

“what?” sunghoon asked.

they all burst into laughter, “that was a good one! i almost believed you!” riki wiped his tears that fell down because of the amount of laughter he let out.

“i’m serious!” sunghoon scoffed.

“you? a girlfriend? sunghoon, i saw your ‘how to survive highschool’ list, you had a ‘no matter what, stay single until you finish highschool!’ line!” jay chuckled.

“i can break one line its not a big deal, besides, she’s definitely worth it” sunghoon smiled.

he’s talking about no one, no one comes to his mind at the moment, but he still keeps on with his lie.

“will we be able to see her before the wedding?” heeseung asked.

“a day before maybe” sunghoon nodded.

“hey! we’re already late for practice! get up everyone now!!” jungwon checked the clock and hurried everyone up.

sunghoon knows he fucked up, real bad. he never had a normal conversation with a girl in highschool, and let’s not forget about the fact that everyone talks to him as if he has some kind of royal blood.

the only real friendship he had with a girl was with you in his childhood. and you’re the only girl who can talk back to him without feeling threatened. wait, that’s it!

“i need you to fake date me”

curse him and his very awful impulse control.

as soon as sunghoon finished his practice he went to the library, figured he’d find you there and apparently he was right.

the book you were reading was long forgotten as you tried to process what you just heard.

“no” you replied shortly.

“please?” he sounded so desperate.

“are you seriously begging right now?”

“yes?”

“that’s fun, get on your knees and beg more” you smirked.

“are you nuts? i’ll never do that” he frowned and rolled his eyes.

“fine then, pay me for that”

“how much?”

“two”

“dollars?”

“billions”

“hell no”

“kiss my ass goodbye then” you shrugged.

“you’re unbelievable”

“said the one who barged into the library and started begging me to date him”

“yeah, it’ll help you become popular” he slightly nodded.

“right, you’re already popular and have multiple fans or whatever, why don’t you just ask them?”

“it’ll just make things worse!”

“fuck off sunghoon, i’m not going to fake date you and help you because of some stupid lie you told” you rolled your eyes and got back to reading the book.

he tried begging you once more but at this point you just decided to ignore him until he left.

“what the heck was that?” you asked yourself and shook your head.

“hey y/n!” you heard a voice calling you and you immediately recognized this voice.

it belonged to taesan, your classmate and also your longtime crush. taesan’s quite popular amongst the students, and surprising so, he’s not a rugby player.

you’ve made a pros and cons lists about your few old crushes and also made one about your current crush, taesan.

pros? he’s funny, smart, creative, caring, friendly, kind and would prefer to spend his free time in the library with you.

cons?

“hey sunghoon dude! didn’t see you there, what are you doing here?”

he’s sunghoon’s best friend. that is a BIG no no for you.

“just came to check something, studying again?” sunghoon smirked as he looked at you.

did he seriously wait for taesan to come so he could spend more time annoying you?

“yeah, it’s my studying with y/n time, we’ve been doing that for a while” taesan smiled widely and winked at you.

without even noticing your cheeks started to heat up. but your blushing cheeks were already noticed by someone who’s definitely going to use that against you.

“right, i’m not going to interrupt you two, enjoy!” sunghoon said as he gave you one last smirk before turning around and leaving.

“isn’t he so weird sometimes? i can definitely understand why you hate his guts” taesan chuckled and you nodded.

“how are you today anyway? didn’t see you that much” he smiled.

“so far so good, you?”

“great now that i’m here with you”

you tried your best to stop your racing heart beats after hearing what he said and making eye contact with him.

you just giggled and opened a book right away, “let’s just start with this book!”

after some time that felt like half an hour to you (but was actually two hours or so) it was time to go back home.

“let me walk you home” taesan suggested.

“it’s okay, i live closeby, if so i’m the one who needs to walk you home” you giggled.

“i insist”

you didn’t reply to him and just walked out of the library as he followed you.

“oh hey y/n, taesan!” you stopped your trace when you noticed sunghoon standing right outside the library.

“sunghoon? why are you still here?” taesan asked, emphasizing the last question.

“just walked by after dropping yeji at her friend’s house, also i promised y/n i’ll walk her home, right y/n?”

you looked at him confused but he gave you the ‘you better say yes now’ look, and besides, you didn’t want to bother taesan with the long walk.

“right, i completely forgot, i’m really sorry taesan, next time i’ll be the one to walk you home!” you said and he nodded.

“don’t worry about it!” he said, quite confused since he never saw the both of you getting along and actually walking home together, even though you live right across each other.

sunghoon took your hand and dragged you away from taesan.

“what the fuck park?”

“walking him home? seriously? your lazy ass could never” he teased and you rolled your eyes.

“fuck off sunghoon, why are you really here?”

“i’ve got a deal to offer” he stopped you from walking and you glared at him.

“no”

“you haven’t heard it yet”

“i don’t care, it’s a no from me, i can never trust you” you scoffed and started walking away.

“i’ll help you to get close to taesan!” he said and you froze for a second, “i don’t need your help”

“oh but you do” he smirked as he figured he got your weakness point, “you’ve been acting awfully trying to hide your little crush on him”

“what do you need?” you asked, half convinced.

“a month” he said straightforwardly.

“are you—“

“a month of fake dating and then i’ll let you tell everyone you broke up with me and broke my heart and whatever you want” he licked his lips, “i’ll help you get closer to taesan too”

“i need a day to think about it” you sighed.

“fine” he said, full of hopes and prayers.

as you arrived you bid your goodbyes for the first time in years, and it never felt so weird as much as it just did.

as you entered the house you took a quick shower and ate, right after that you ran to get your phone a called karina.

“i think you should do it, a month wouldn’t be so bad, plus, he did say he’ll help you get close to taesan” she said.

“can i really trust him though? he ruined my chances with my crush once already” you groaned.

“you’re right, don’t trust that guy”

“but he’s also the only one that could get me close to taesan”

“right again, trust him fully and agree to that deal”

“you’re not helping me at all!!” you complained.

“i don’t know bae, i guess that if i was you i would’ve probably go with what my heart says”

“cliché much, aren’t we?”

“i didn’t know what to say!”

“i guess i just…”

“really? are you for real? is it really happening right now? i need you to sign this contract right now before you regret” sunghoon’s eyes widened and his lips formed into a little smile.

you rolled your eyes, “don’t make me regret this”

“okay okay, i won’t, let’s just find a spot where we could talk” he said and took your hand.

he dragged you to an empty classroom and closed the door.

“so,” he spoke, “we need rules”

“no shit sherlock”

“can you stop being an actual bitch for a second and hear me out?” he spat and you rolled your eyes.

“i’ll be walking you home, mornings and afternoons no matter what” he said.

“does that really matter? i mean, no one sees us” you sighed.

“that’s what you think, my friends are stalkers it’s actually scary”

“whatever”

“we’ll be posting pictures together which means we’re going to have to go on date—“

“im gonna stop you right there” you cut him off middle sentence, “you can just use pictures from pinterest”

“what?”

“there’s no chance im going on dates with you” you argued.

“you agreed to this fake dating, you need to face the consequences”

you groaned and he continued, “kissing is not prohibited, you can kiss me whenever you want, if it’s necessary”

you felt like throwing up hearing this sentence.

“who’s gonna buy that? just yesterday you were bumping into me and acting like a total bitch in front of everyone” you rolled your eyes.

“it’s as simple as that, we’ll say we’ve been forced by our parents to come as a couple to an event and we had a deep conversation about our past and after a while of reuniting i asked you out and we decided to hide our relationship until now” he shrugged.

“wow,” you clapped, “you thought about it the whole day yesterday didn’t you?”

“no…” he scratched his nape and looked everywhere but at you.

“sure” you nodded, completely not believing what he just said.

“anyways it’s all settled, we’ll be posting a picture today after school” he said and was about to leave the classroom.

“one more thing,” he said, “pda is a must, therefore you’d have to give me your hand and we’d have to go hand in hand to classroom”

“just say you want to hold my hand, i’ll take that into consideration, but i’m not interested” you asked annoyed.

“you wish someone would actually want to hold your hand out of his own will” he rolled his eyes.

“you haven’t touched a single soul in your entire life”

“just shut up” he sighed.

“never as long as your annoying ass is right besides me”

he just groaned and took your hand.

“starting now” he nodded, “it’ll make everyone confuse until we reveal our relationship”

“yuck, even calling it a relationship is making me want to throw up”

“hope your stupid brain knows it’s mutual but whatever, just don’t act like that when we’re together”

walking through the hallway while everyone is whispering and glancing at you was never a problem to sunghoon, it was a big problem for you though.

you tried letting go of sunghoon’s hand to stop the whispering and glancing but he held you tighter.

“it’s okay, calm down i’m here with you” he whispered.

as much as you’d like to deny it, it made you feel somewhat safe.

however, it’s the park sunghoon we’re talking about. your worst enemy.

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” you whispered back.

“and we’re here, outside your classroom” he changed the subject and stopped right outside of your class while everyone else kept looking at the two of you.

“i’ll wait for you after class” he winked and left a peck on your forehead before leaving to his classroom.

you so wished you could wipe it off at the moment. or at least, you think.

“what the fuck did i just saw?” karina walked up to you as soon as sunghoon left.

“we have a lot to catch on” you sighed and dragged her inside the classroom.

“and you agreed?!?”

“ms. karina and ms. y/n, would you like to share to your class what were you talking about?” the teacher knocked on the desk.

“no, we’re sorry” you said quietly and the teacher went back to teaching.

“you told me to follow what my heart says!” you whispered-yelled to her.

“i didn’t think it’d say to agree to it!!” she replied back.

“well i did, and now i’m stuck with the worst person ever”

“maybe he’s not that bad”

“get out karina”

“can’t, we’re in the middle of a class” she shrugged and you groaned.

“so you’re now dating your worst ever enemy, the infamous woman in this highschool, choi y/n?!!”

“yes jake, i don’t know why it’s so surprising to you” sunghoon rolled his eyes as he took a bite from his lunch.

“surprising only to him? sunghoon, just a few days ago you called her an attention seeker bitch, now you’re telling us you’ve been dating for a few months already?” jungwon asked, concerned.

“well we did great at hiding didn’t we? our parents told us we should sign to drama classes”

“nothing here makes sense” jay shook his head.

lying to his friends about his whole relationship life? was definitely not and never will be on his list but he couldn’t care less about the list anymore.

“life doesn’t make sense, jay” sunghoon sighed, “it just happened, now i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like i want to spend every minute with her”

“ew, not in front of my salad” riki gagged.

“although it makes no sense to me, i’m happy for you sunghoon, so proud of you for finally getting along with someone” sunoo pat his back.

“hey what do you mean by that?”

“from childhood friends to childhood enemies to lovers, that sounds like an actual pretty good story genre” heeseung crossed his arms and nodded.

“can’t believe you haven’t told me anything about it!” taesan, who for the first time in a while joined their lunch table, lightly pushed sunghoon, completely in disbelief.

“you’re right, i should’ve told you about it before” sunghoon nodded.

sunghoon’s a bad friend. a very, very bad one.

a few weeks ago he had a conversation with who he considers as his best friend, but how could he face him now after this conversation?

“hey hoon! i wanted to ask you something” taesan bit his lips, a bit anxious to start the conversation.

“yeah dude, what’s up?” he asked.

“i know you and y/n are….not on good terms, but i actually started spending some time with her and i’m really interested in her” his eyes lit up from excitement just by talking about you, “wanted to ask you if that’s okay that, you know….”

“yeah for sure! even though i hate this person with all my heart, i can’t decided on your life, can’t see how and why you’re interested in her but whatever, it’s yours” sunghoon shrugged.

“thanks sunghoon, i’m really glad i got you as my friend” taesan hugged sunghoon tightly.

sunghoon definitely knew about taesan’s little crush about you, and the day he told you that taesan has a little crush, he actually meant you.

back to today, sunghoon feels like his whole life was tearing apart.

how could he betray his friend like that? after everything taesan did to him. from helping him with studies to even paying for the things he couldn’t.

taesan shook his head and smiled weakly, “whatever makes you happy sunghoon” he said.

sunghoon was expecting him to shout at him and get mad about it, but was actually surprised he took it well somehow.

‘i’m doing this for you too’ sunghoon thought, after all, he has the perfect plan for taesan and y/n.

“thanks taesan” sunghoon hugged him tightly and pat his back as a sign for asking for forgiveness.

“that’s not gonna work, too many people are looking at us” you complained as soon as you got out of your last class for the day and noticed sunghoon who was already waiting for you outside.

“with popularity comes the consequences” he shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

“enjoy lovebirds!” jay shouted as he walked past you.

“let’s go” he extended his hand out for you to hold it but you shook your head.

“i promised taesan i’ll review his essay he wrote”

“you can do it tomorrow—“ “can’t, plus you said you’ll help me with taesan, we can go on your stupid fake date later”

sunghoon rolled his eyes and sighed, “fine, i’ll walk you to the library”

when he noticed you smiling he couldn’t help but feel that weird feeling of excitement, but then he realized you were not smiling because of him.

“hey y/n!” taesan smiled warmly at you when he noticed you, “and sunghoon” he added quietly.

“hey taesan” you called with a wider smile on your face and sunghoon nodded.

“i’ll pick you up later then” he said and walked away.

“so…you and sunghoon huh?” taesan asked.

“ugh, don’t even— i felt everyone’s eyes on me throughout the whole day” you groaned.

“you don’t seem that happy with that”

“because i’m not! i’m so tired of it already, i should’ve known not to agree to that deal”

“what deal?”

“uhhhh” you freaked out, how stupid can you actually be??

“nothing!! no deal” you giggled nervously.

“if you say so” he shrugged and opened his laptop to show you his essay.

“why dont you just tell him?” karina asked you over the phone.

“and what will i say if he asks why i agreed to the deal?”

“simple, ‘i did it because i want sunghoon to help me date you’, like that”

“sure, it’s that easy” you rolled your eyes.

“how was your first day dating sunghoon anyway?”

“he took me to get some ice cream, he actually remembers my favorite taste”

“yeah i saw on your instagram story, if i didn’t happen to know that this is all fake i’d actually believe it” she said teasingly.

“can’t believe i’m saying this but” you sighed, “he’s not that bad to hang out with”

you expected a reply from her right away but all you heard was silence.

“karina?”

“i can’t believe this conversation is not being recorded” she finally spoke.

“forget that i said tha—“ “no no no! please continue”

“well….he was actually super nice and even paid for my ice cream, even found a nice spot and brought me his jacket since it was starting to get cold” you said calmly.

“y/n”

“hm?”

“you might end up falling in love with him instead of taesan” she said and you scoffed.

“are you forgetting that he literally ruined my life?”

“i said what i said!” she argued.

eventually you ended the call and drifted off to dreamland.

“so….”

a few days passed since you revealed your (fake) relationship and today was the first day you sat with seven other people at your lunch table.

“you and sunghoo—“

“stop it”

“sunghoon and yo—“

“shut it!”

sunghoon’s friends tried to ease up the awkward situation but were shut off by you and sunghoon.

“we just think it’s weird that’s all!! it’ll pass sooner or later” jay chuckled.

“so y/n, how’s life?” riki asked.

“seriously?” sunghoon raised his brow.

“babe, it’s okay,” you almost gagged after using the nickname on sunghoon, “life’s fun, you never know which surprises awaits for you”

you raised sunghoon’s hand and showed everyone your locked hands.

“ew, don’t need to use those nicknames and act all cheesy here” jake teased.

“you wanted to meet my girlfriend didn’t you? here she is” sunghoon spoke.

that’s when it got to you. sunghoon lied to his friends about having a girlfriend! why did he choose you though? out of hundreds of students.

“you’re right” heeseung nodded, “if you already know each other so well, why don’t we ask you questions about sunghoon and you answer?”

“baby you don’t have to—“ “it’s okay, hit me with the questions”

“sunghoon’s favorite color?”

“white”

“his favorite season”

“used to be winter, it’s autumn now”

“favorite ice cream flavor?”

“um” you froze for a second.

“ah ha! got you”

“coffee”

“aw man, you suck!” riki said in disappointment after you answered all the questions correctly.

sunghoon in the meantime was busy staring at you and daydreaming.

when did you become so pretty? with your cute eyes that lit up every time you answered a question correctly, and your lips that formed into a smile when you noticed you won over his friend’s questions.

how come you remember those details about him as well?

he had tons of questions, but curse his inability to communicate well, he’ll probably leave those questions unanswered.

the only thing he does know, is that he’s scared to fall in love with you.

“babe? are you ready to go? let me walk you to the field now, you have practice”

you called him and he zoned out, for a second there he really forgot this is all fake.

the way you’d look at him and call him babe, it made him feel so weird, he had never felt like that before.

“yeah” he slightly nodded and got up.

when both of you arrived at the field he stopped in front of you and frowned.

“what if i’ll just take you on a date instead of practice?” he asked.

“sunghoon what the fuck? we’re all alone here nobody sees you, you don’t need to act all lovey dovey” you snapped back.

“right” he said, almost sounding too disappointed.

“i’ll go back now to the library, taesan’s waiting” you smiled and started walking away.

“pull yourself together sunghoon” he sighed and entered the field.

“hey” you called taesan as you saw him already sitting at your usual library desk.

“hey y/n!” he called you back excitedly.

“missed being with you after school, i went on too many dates with sunghoon lately” you sighed.

“yeah” he whispered, you could hear a bit of disappointment in his voice but he shrugged it off quickly, “hey how about instead of studying we’ll go hang out, i got pretty tired of reading today”

“sure! of course, i would love to!!” you excitedly replied.

taesan got up and held your hand, “let’s go watch some movies”

practice ended and sunghoon went straight to the library without even showering first. he couldn’t wait telling you how his friends couldn’t stop talking about you and praising your (again, fake) relationship.

he looked at the clock and it was usually around the time you and taesan would finish and get out, only this time you were nowhere to be found.

sunghoon started to freak out, what if something bad happened to you? did taesan leave you alone? what if he did something bad to you?

no, no. sunghoon was just freaking out.

he tried calling you, but your phone was turned off, you weren’t available.

he ran all the way to your home and asked your mother if she happened to see you, but got a negative answer.

“why, is she missing?” your mother asked and tried to stay calm.

“no of course not!” sunghoon awkwardly said, “we’re just playing hide and seek that’s all, i was wondering if she walked all the way here to hide in her room”

seriously sunghoon? that’s the best thing you got?

“alright, have fun!” it seemed like it made your mom believe him!

“y/n where the fuck are you?” he whispered to himself.

he decided to call taesan, “if he’s not answering i swea—“

“hey dude, what’s up?” his friend on the other line answered calmly.

“do you happen to know where y/n is?” he straightforwardly asked.

“yeah, she’s right next to me, didn’t she tell you we’re going to watch some movies?” taesan’s voice stayed calm but on the inside he was smirking.

taesan 1, sunghoon 0.

“she probably forgot or something” sunghoon giggled, “when do you plan on coming back?”

“don’t know, but don’t worry dude, i’ll make sure she gets home safely”

“yeah, okay” sunghoon said and ended the call.

“who was that?” you asked.

“your boyfriend, didn’t you tell him we’re here?”

“oh no, i forgot about it”

“yeah he was worried sick”

“i think we should head back now” you let out a sigh.

“okay, sure” he nodded and both of you got up.

you don’t know why you said it instead of staying the whole night just watching random movies with your longtime crush.

what the hell did this fake dating with sunghoon do to you?

taesan walked you until it was already safe for you to walk alone, you argued with him that it’s fine and your house was a minute away, he tried insisting but you didn’t budge.

both of you knew why you wanted to walk over to your house alone.

sunghoon 1, taesan 1.

you really tried using you muscle memory and walk to your door with your eyes closed so you won’t have to meet with—

“well who do we have here”

“i really didn’t want to see you here now” you sighed and opened your eyes.

“i was worried sick! why didn’t you just send me a text or whatever?” he spit out and you never really realized how irritating his voice is until now.

“what are you? my mom? why do i have to tell you my whereabouts?” you snapped.

“we’re dating, of course—“ “hell no we’re not, this whole thing is fake and you know it, i dont owe you shit, park”

for the first time sunghoon was stunned and speechless because of you. he did not know what to say or even process what the hell just happened. and why the fuck was he so annoyed by you going to the movies with taesan?

“if you dont have anything to say just go” you sighed and just like that he left.

you finally got inside your room and laid on your bed, thinking about your last events and how stupid it was of you to go home early because of that fucking rat who was ‘worried’ over you.

your phone buzzed and when you looked at the caller ID you smiled.

“just checking that you arrived safely”

“i’m not a five years old kid taesan,” you chuckled and got up to sit on the edge of your bed, “besides, it was a minute walk from where you left me”

“alright, was just checking if you were still alive” he giggled.

“hey taesan”

“hm?”

“let’s hang out more, i had real fun today”

“all i was just asking is for you to text me if there’s a change of plans! i was really worried because i knew i had to pick you up but you were nowhere to be seen” that is how your morning started, for the past few days it because a routine for you to have a morning and after school walk with sunghoon, and each morning you’d have a little fight.

this time, even though you hate to admit it, he’s right.

“you’re right, i should’ve told you beforehand, i just got super excited to go out with taesan so i forgot about it, besides you’re supposed to be happy for me, i’m finally getting closer to my crush” you huffed.

“thank you, and yeah, i’m super happy” he rolled his eyes and you nodded.

“another thing, heeseung’s brother is having a wedding in less than a month and we have to go there together, as a couple” he said, “after the wedding we’ll plan the break up and will part our ways”

“sounds like a plan to me” you shrugged.

“no matter what happens, please just show up to his brother’s wedding, i think heeseung already favors you so much, he always did but i always warned him not to get too close to you”

“obviously you did” you rolled your eyes, “but i will do it, for him and for his happiness”

“thank you” he said sincerely.

“wow, didnt know you could be genuine”

“just shut up and continue to walk”

two weeks passed and as much as you hate to admit it, dating sunghoon park isn’t something that bad.

you went to all kinds of ‘dates’ together, that one amusement park date was your favorite.

“no no no no! don’t go too high, y/n hold my hand tight!” he yelled on one of the roller coasters you forced him to get on, “i think i’m gonna throw up oh no, here it comes! i hate it here”

while he was busy yelling, you were busy laughing your ass off at him. he was cute, you admit.

it reminded you of that time you went to an amusement park together when you were kids, he remained the same, nothing changed.

as you got tired of the amusement park, he took you to a restaurant and both of you sat one in front of the other.

“i like it here, this place is designed so beautifully” you said.

“not as beautiful as you” he mumbled.

“hm?” you asked and he shook his head, “nothing”

“you know, it wasn’t so bad today, i really had fun” he started speaking, “reminded me of our childhood”

“yeah, i thought about that too” you nodded.

“i kinda miss it” i kinda miss you, he wanted to say, but he felt like it’d be too much.

sunghoon that day realized his strong feelings for you never left, and probably never will. your past antics were long forgotten and all he wanted was to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loves you, and he have always had.

“i kinda miss it too” you replied and it was like an unspoken tension between the two of you.

none of you would talk after that and just walked home in silence, but it was a comforting one.

“girl, he’s super like, into you, and you’re so like, into him too” karina said after you told her about the amusement park date.

“am not! i’ve been actually going out with taesan a lot, i really really like him” you smiled.

“whatever you say girl!”

“i actually am going to hang out with taesan today, i’ll update you on everything, bye bae” you smiled and ended the call to get ready for your hangout with taesan.

an hour later he sent you a text that he’s already waiting and you got out of your house right away.

“you look, really pretty” taesan was being so stunned by your beauty that he forgot how to talk.

“thank you” you smiled, “so, where are we going?”

“a new arcade just opened and i know how much you love arcades so i just thought of testing it out”

“oh my god you really do know me so well!!” you took out your phone to text sunghoon about your whereabouts.

you became more responsible and it suddenly didn’t bother you as much to text him about it, it almost became a habit of you.

‘off to the new arcade that opened up with taesan, don’t you worry about me’ you texted him and closed your phone.

as you arrived your eyes roamed around the big arcade and suddenly you looked like a five years old child who just got their first ever vanilla ice cream.

“what are we waiting for? let’s just go!!” taesan cheered and you clapped.

after hours and hours of playing you both went to sit down by the nearest park there.

“it was so fun today, we have to do it again!” you grinned and taesan nodded.

it suddenly became so quiet and you noticed taesan was staring at you for too long.

“are you okay?”

“i know about you and sunghoon,” he spoke, “about your fake dating thing”

you were too stunned to speak.

“i heard you arguing on the same day we went to the movies, i wanted to check on you if you arrived safely but i noticed you and sunghoon talking and i couldn’t help but eavesdrop” he shrugged.

“oh” was all you could let out.

“i was actually glad to find out that this whole thing with you and sunghoon was fake”

“what do you mea—“ “i like you y/n, a lot” he cut you middle sentence and you felt so weird hearing his confession.

“oh! there you are!” before you could even respond to taesan you heard a voice calling the both of you.

you turned around and saw the one and only, park sunghoon. what was he doing here?

a few days ago taesan asked to meet up with sunghoon. he confessed to him about knowing your fake relationship and told sunghoon he was going to confess to you.

“i like y/n, a lot, you already know that” he said.

“what’s your plan?” sunghoon asked.

“asking her out after going to that new arcade” he exposed his plan, and sunghoon’s cue to stop the confession was a simple text from you about your whereabouts.

sunghoon for the second time chose to be a shitty and egoistic ass friend, and prevent his so called ‘best friend’ from confessing to you.

but of course sunghoon wouldn’t tell you all of that.

“me and y/n were planning to go on a date today! i guess she forgot” sunghoon smirked.

“cut it sunghoon, i know you’re not really dating” taesan clenched his jaw.

“doesn’t matter, i still made us a reservation for this new restaurant” sunghoon rolled his eyes and dragged you away.

you were too shocked by the whole scene that only when you arrived back to your home you realized what happened.

“did you just—” you sighed, “ruined my fucking chance with taesan?” you felt your blood starting to boil.

“what do you mean?” he asked confused.

“taesan just fucking confessed and you just fucking showed up and dragged me away, what the fuck were you thinking?” you shout.

“y/n i—“

“you what, sunghoon? want to ruin my life once again? just like you did with my painting from seventh grade and my crush from eighth grade?” you snapped.

“you seriously still hold that against me? we were in seventh grade for god’s sake!”

“and it ruined my life ever since then! did you become your family’s disappointment? because i did, oh! and funny enough, not only that seventh grade made them disappointed in me, but also my stupid crush on eighth grade that you decided to snitch on!” you looked at him in disbelief.

“what about my crush from nineth grade then, huh? not only you lied to her and told her i spread the rumors about her, you made me look like the bad guy and the other students refused to talk to me for months! you basically made everyone back away from me!”

“and rightfully so” you rolled your eyes.

“y/n, look” sunghoon ran his hands through his hair and sighed,

“save it park, i don’t want to hear from you ever again, i had a blast ignoring you for the last few years and i’ll continue having a blast if it’ll continue that way” you lied through your teeth, “we’ll only talk when necessary and cut ties after heeseung’s brother’s wedding”

“y/n” sunghoon called you again but you already walked away and entered your house.

sunghoon knows he fucked up, and he realized there were so many miscommunications between the two of you over the past few years and he didn’t know how to fix it.

meanwhile you, the minute you stepped inside your room and closed the door, you started crying.

you didn’t know how to feel with yourself. you were glad that sunghoon cut you off before you could answer taesan, because surprisingly so, you were about to reject him.

taesan is a nice guy, he really is, and he really was your longtime crush, until your old crush entered your life again.

you realized you gained back your feelings the moment sunghoon opened his mouth to genuinely talk with you, in fact, those feelings never really left.

you found yourself so focused on the way that his dimples would always show while smiling and talking to you, or the way his fangs would show up with every smile he gives you.

but you couldn’t help but let your blood boil after his whole ‘i’m not going to let y/n have another chance with someone’ show, it made you think about your past and you hated it.

the next few weeks felt normal to everyone but you, sunghoon and taesan.

you and sunghoon acted as if nothing happened between the two of you when someone you know happened to be around.

when you two were alone? hell, you won’t even shoot a glance at him.

and as for you and taesan, you told him it’d be better if the both of you would take a short break for a while, just for you to adjust everything.

sunghoon refused to let go of you so easily once again, he tried everything, calling, texting, even calling your parents to ask if you were home and maybe they can tell you to pick your constantly ringing phone up.

it all felt like a deja vu now, but not the good one. you were getting distant again and it scared him that the same thing will happen yet again.

“thank you for coming” sunghoon welcomed the person into his house.

“why are you so stressed? oh no don’t tell me you got someone pregnant”

“jay, i sometimes wonder if your last braincells are just off to go travel or something” sunghoon groaned.

“well, you seem so tense, what is it?”

sunghoon decided to tell jay everything from A to Z, they’ve been best friends for long and he feels like he can trust him wholeheartedly, plus he had to get some help from someone.

“i knew it the moment you told me both of you are dating! it felt so unreal”

“thanks a lot jay, it really helps”

“well, i think im getting a little deja vu for eighth grade”

“exactly! i don’t want this to happen again! i know i fucked up but i….” sunghoon sighed, “i’m willing to do everything as long as i won’t lose her”

“okay first of all, ew dude that’s so cringy” jay said in disgust, “second, i think you just need to give her some time, i’m sure that if you still haven’t heard about her and taesan dating, she might as well was about to reject him”

“then why would she get so angry at me? it doesn’t make sense”

“you took a whole ass opportunity from her to try and sort her things out, of course she’d be pissed”

“right”

“try to talk with karina maybe, she might help you out on this one” jay pat his friend’s shoulder, “besides, the wedding is in a few days and you told me you made her promise you to show up no matter what, it’s not like she can run away from you for long”

“i hate that you’re so right” sunghoon groaned and jay shrugged, “i’m just saying whatever comes to my mind, whenever it comes to my mind”

“what do you want, park?”

“wow you really sound like y/n now” sunghoon sighed as he saw karina looking at him uninterested, “i guess she already told you what happened”

“yes, she did” she also told me she’s scared because she actually has feelings for you, she wanted to say. but its not her place to say it anyway.

“how….is she doing?” he asked quietly.

“why do you care?”

“oh no please don’t make it harder than it already is” he mumbled under his breath.

“because, i need to talk with her, a serious conversation”

“oh no don’t tell me you caught feelings”

“how did you— nevermind, please tell her that i’ll be waiting for her, and i really want to sort things out between us” he sounded so desperate it scared karina.

“i’ll see what i can do” karina nodded and he bit his lips and smiled.

“thank you, thank you, thank you, thank—“ “i get it you can go now!”

he nodded as he got his bag and went for another practice.

“hey bae how are you doing today?” karina hugged you as she sat on your bed.

ever since your last encounter with sunghoon you started missing a few classes here and there, you didn’t really feel like going to school and seeing sunghoon anyway. that’s why karina came to check up on you.

“same as usual, i don’t know”

“i know what you’re thinking” she said and you looked at her creeped out.

“relax, it’s nothing scary” she laughed, “i just know you’re thinking about him”

“am not!” you argued.

“yeah, and i’m queen elizabeth”

you can’t stop thinking about sunghoon, she wasn’t lying really.

you realized how messed up your whole story was. you need answers from him, you need the apology you’ve been waiting to hear, the confirmation that he misses you as much as you miss him. you need to hold him tight and never let him go again.

“fine, you got me” you sighed.

you wish you’d know how to sort things out without going crazy.

“he came up to me today,” she said and your eyes sparkled, “he asked me about you, he’s been so desperate to talk with you, he looked and sounded really sincere”

“i don’t know karina, i’m not sure if i’m ready to face him without getting angry again, it’s just that whenever i see him my blood just starts to boil when i think about our past”

“that’s your problem, you refuse to let go of your past” she put her hand on your shoulder, “just let it go, and get the answers and confirmation you need from him”

you decided not to show up at school ever since your conversation with karina.

sunghoon tried checking up on you multiple times but each time you’d lie to your mother who opened the door for him and told her to tell him that you’re sick. both of you knew it was wrong.

sunghoon was going crazy, his friends couldn’t stop asking about you and about your whereabouts and he could only lie and say that you’ve got really sick and that he’s been taking care of you.

he asked karina about you again and again, until she got tired and told him everything, about your wellbeing and your health.

he was so worried for you it surprised her, he was really acting as if he’s your real boyfriend.

karina would lie if she said she didn’t confuse him as your boyfriend for a while.

“here” sunghoon handed karina a notebook.

“what’s that?” she asked.

“i took some notes on this class, give it to y/n please”

“sunghoon, i’m not some kind of—“

“i know i know you’re not a delivery guy but, i don’t know how to give it to her in any other way” he sighed.

oh the poor guy, she really pities him.

wedding day came and sunghoon was going back and forth in his room.

will you be coming? should he pick you up? you promised him! if not for him then for heeseung!

at the end, jay called him and told him it was becoming too late and he should just come without you.

sunghoon left his house with a heavy heart and empty hands, that were supposed to hold you tightly and close to him.

“hey hoon! you came!!” heeseung welcomed his friend with a hug and a big smile over his face.

“where’s y/n?” he asked.

“oh y/n, she really wanted to come but—“ “but what?” he was cut off by someone else.

when he looked over his shoulder he found you, walking over to them and putting your hands together on sunghoon’s right shoulder.

“i was getting ready and it took me too long to come, so i just told sunghoon to go away so he won’t be late because of me” you smiled and planted a kiss on sunghoon’s cheek.

“i’m so glad you came!!” heeseung smiled widely and hugged you tightly.

sunghoon was still shocked seeing you there, first you walked in, looking gorgeous than ever in the outfit you put on yourself, then you went and put your hands over his shoulder and lastly, you kiss his cheek.

he froze and zoned out for a few seconds until you waved your hands in front of him.

“let’s get in! it’s about to start” you were about to walk in but sunghoon was quick enough to pull you back to him.

he was holding your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“first, you walk in here, looking prettier than any other person here, no offense to the bride, then you smile and kiss my cheeks. i don’t understand, what’s happening?” he asked, his face is closer than ever to yours.

“i don’t want to open it up now—“ “if not now then when?”

you sighed and closed your eyes.

“i only have one question”

“shoot”

“did you really regret what you did back then?”

“of course i did, i still do” he reached your hand to hold it, “look at where it got us”

“why did you ruin my chance with my crush back then?”

“you said only one question”

“okay so maybe now i have more”

“i did it,” sunghoon stayed quiet for a second, is this the right time to confess? “because i really liked you, and i still do” fuck it.

“when we started to fake dating i realized those feelings never left, everytime i look at you i just cant help it but smile, i think it’s way beyond just ‘like you’, i love you y/n” he let go of his hold on your waist and held both of your hands in his.

you stopped breathing for a second as you tried to process what you just heard.

“park sunghoon” you whispered and he hummed.

“i’m here baby”

“i hate you” you said and sunghoon could swear his heart dropped.

“i hate you for making me hate you so much to the point it ruined our friendship for so long” you continued, “you could’ve confessed your feelings and we could’ve been the best highschool couple by now”

sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows, he got so confused by your words.

“if you still didn’t get it, i happen to love you too, you dumbass” you laughed.

without giving you a warning he pulled you into a kiss with a big grin on his face.

it was a desperate kiss, as if he was waiting to do this for so long. both of you didn’t want to part away but you did eventually because of the lack of oxygen.

“i can’t believe we fucked this up because of this stupid painting in seventh grade” that was the first thing he said afterwards.

“you fucked this up and it’s not just a stupid painting!!” you argued and he laughed as he hugged you tightly.

“i’m joking, i’m really sorry for that, and for the crush thing in eighth grade too” he grinned, “but he was just not good for you, you had me the whole time and still wanted him”

you kissed him again and smiled.

“i was too blind i guess”

“can you two cut it off lovebirds? the wedding is about to start” both of you turned your heads and saw annoyed jay standing in front of you.

“sorry! coming” both of you said at the same time.

as you sat one next to each other, sunghoon interlocked your fingers together.

“hey” he whispered and you hummed.

“hearing ‘i love you’ from you really warmed my heart” he smiled, “just letting you know”

“oh really?” you asked and he nodded.

“i love you” you kissed his cheek.

“i’ll keep saying this until you’ll get tired of it”

“which is basically never”

jay groaned and turned to look at the both of you “can you please just stop being so lovey dovey oh my god”

“you were exactly like that on your first days with your girlfriend stop being such an attention seeker” jake rolled his eyes and jay hit him.

“shhhh!! why don’t we just pay attention to heeseung that’s crying right there?”

“just took a picture! will definitely use it to blackmail him!”

“poor little thing only wanted to get emotional in his brother’s wedding”

“soon to be us at sunghoon’s and y/n’s wedding”

and they lived happily ever after! i mean, as much as you can when you have those six people as your friends and karina’s nonstop questions about future kids.

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @lovelovelovebts @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie (bold means cannot be tagged)

#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst

[bluepeachstudios]

So. Cass' Apocalyptic Series by @somerandomdudelmao just ended.

I have many emotions none of which I can properly convey through words or anything. CAS itself has been a continuing beacon of creative light that's been lovely to see progress, and has inspired me through so many things, and I could go on about it but I cannot get into it without crying so I won't, I hope the sentiment comes across.

Cass did fanart of Ghost in the Shell HERE. It was like. I dunno. The third or fourth drawing of GitS I'd gotten from someone else? And the fact that Cass of all people had done it was like, wild to me at the time. I was still kind of reeling from the fact that people even liked my work at all? But Cass said it was good and I was like "oh damn must be good then" and kept writing. She also did THIS animation of Ghost which I still cry at whenever I watch it it's fine.

THEN THE PEEPAW POLLS HAPPENED. OH LORD. I made so many friends. I met so many people through that. I've never. In my life had this many people I could just talk to at any time. I never knew what to say either so I ended up just hanging out and getting dragged wherever the wind took me. It got me into doing polls in general!

Ghost made it to the FINAL ROUND??? Still confused about that. Then Uncle Tello won and Cass did a comic and I wrote something and I cried when I read the comic and I was still kind of processing so I ended up drawing something as well.

Then the next time GitS and CAS met was at the TMNT AU competition. It happened. Like almost DIRECTLY after Uncle Tello died in CAS so I was processing again and I do that through Ghost apparently so I drew a lil comic and wrote a lil somethin.

And then they never met again! But I like to think that some version of Ghost somewhere got to see the end.

GitS Part 2 has been kinda hard for me to write. I had to take a big break from it due to health stuff, and getting back into writing it wasn't as easy as before. And even after Part 2 is over, I still have the movie to do. My interest in TMNT is never going away, even after GitS I have other projects I want to finish, and that I've wanted to work on while writing GitS, but. y'know.

I'm determined to finish it. Drawing an x on my wrist. I really want to give Ghost the ending I've been imagining. And Cass has been someone really cool to look up to while I've been working on that.

So. Yeah. If Cass can get to the good ending, maybe I can do it too.

Love you Cass. Thanks for everything!

#tmnt ghost in the shell #atlas #cass apocalyptic series #ame art