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#I mean it's not like I was writing FAST
aquickstart · 4 months
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ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
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another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
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but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
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but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
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farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
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the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
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but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
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to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
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and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
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johnslittlespoon · 14 days
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plsssss can we talk about bucky getting his revenge and edging gale
gale edging john post | yes we cannnnn !! eta: ykw. i need to just turn this into a proper oneshot since this ended up being over 1k words. new wip created </3
john may be a man of little self control, but after that incident, he decides he can be at least a tiny bit patient so he can catch gale off guard with it when he gets his revenge. because the next few times they're fooling around, gale's expecting a retaliation, john can see it in the way he tenses up and glances at his face before he comes like he's waiting for it, but john never follows through with it. he wants gale to let his guard down, and that he does.
so a week or so later when john's kissing him and feeling him up and asks ever so sweetly if he can tie gale's wrists behind his back, gale doesn't think anything of it. john likes to take control occasionally and gale sometimes likes the feeling of not having to worry about making decisions, getting to let john call the shots, and john always puts extra time and effort into the way he touches gale when he's restrained because he likes to watch his darling blondie squirm.
john has him sit in his lap facing him, letting gale lean against his shoulder to take the pressure off his legs while john works him open on his fingers, already riled up from the pretty gasps gale's making against his neck but reigning himself in because he's gonna need to have some self control for once.
he sweet–talks gale through it, telling him how good he sounds, how well he's doing as he sinks down on his cock, guiding him with hands on his hips so he doesn't unbalance himself without the use of his own hands where they're tied behind his back with a belt. he stays still at first, letting gale ride him slowly, keeping his hands loosely on his waist while praising him and talking him into that foggy needy headspace until gale's thighs are trembling and john takes pity on him (and frankly is so hard he doesn't have the patience to keep his own hips still anymore).
so he runs his hands down from gale's waist to his ass to hold him in place while he rolls his hips up into him, watching the way gale's eyebrows pinch and his pretty lips fall open in a silent oh as john angles himself in a way gale couldn't with his own movements. lets his mouth run as he slowly picks up his pace, all the coos of "so pretty", "you're taking me so well", "you feel so fucking good", loving how reactive gale is to every word and every thrust.
he moves his hands to gale's hips to get a better grip, can tell gale's getting close because he gets noisier, losing his filter and letting out breathy little "fuck"s and "john"s, head rolling back on his shoulders to bare his neck, rocking his hips down to meet john every time he fucks up into him. and then just as he gets the warning of "close", he pulls gale down by his hips to bury himself deep in him and stops moving completely.
the whine of desperation that tears out of gale's throat when he lifts his head has john knocking his skull back against the wall, cock twitching hard enough inside gale that he's sure the blond can feel it. he watches gale's biceps flex when he instinctively tries to get his hands free, feels his hips try to squirm out of his hands to keep moving, but he keeps him pinned firmly down, dizzy at the way he clenches down around him.
a plaintive "john" pulls a groan from him, but he composes himself, lifts his gaze back up to gale's face and lets the corners of his lips quirk up, purrs out a "yeah, sweetheart? something wrong?"
laughs at the way gale cusses him out, a rare sight of his little spitfire with a mouth on him, though the effect is a lot closer to being hissed at by a kitty than actually being convinced to move. john lets him run his mouth, murmurs a "cute" once gale's done, and then promptly hammers his hips up into him just once, swearing under his breath at the way it punches an open–mouthed moan from gale. rocks his hips up into him a few times before going back to a quick and rough pace, the sound of skin on skin getting both of them flushed.
it only takes a minute before gale's hips are twitching into his hands and whispered pleas are falling from his mouth and john thinks he's never had to use as much self restraint in his life as he does when he forces himself to stop moving again, once again yanking gale down against him, holding him still in his lap.
gale really fights it this time, enough so that it's a merciful distraction for john from how close he himself is (trust his idea to backfire as he ends up edging himself along with gale, he thinks) when he has to use proper strength to keep him in place. any blood that might've still been lurking around his brain rushes south the moment he sees gale's eyes getting shiny with frustration, cheeks all pink and lips red and flushed from biting down on them.
"not so fun, is it?" john taunts, but his voice comes out a bit more raspy than he would've liked, evident how much the stop and start is getting to him too. it's probably karma, because he knows he's being more mean than gale was to him, but he can't help it; those blue eyes look so pretty when tears are threatening to spill over when he's desperate and needy like this.
gale wriggles in his lap the best he can, still furiously chasing his orgasm, head finally falling back in frustration before he lifts it again, looking john in the eyes, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go. he whines quietly and whimpers out the sweetest "please, johnny," almost crying in his impatience, and fuck.
john doesn't mean for his hips to twitch up at that, but they do, hard. gale sobs out a broken sound at the way john's cock hits just where he needs it to in his accidental movement, and gale spills over his stomach completely untouched, just like that. john swears and drives his hips up into him in an attempt to quickly amend his slip up, moaning loud at the wrecked noises that immediately start bubbling up out of gale as he fucks him through his orgasm.
he tips over the edge himself from the desperate sounds the blond starts to make as he crosses the line into overstimulation, feeling gale's hips jerk frantically in his hands, fighting to get away from the incessant rhythm of his cock inside him as john shudders through his own orgasm, fingers digging into gale's sides.
he slows down to a gentle grind of his hips when gale collapses against his chest, face pressed to his neck, shivering at the slow drag inside him and whining pitifully when john eventually pulls out, settling him down on his thighs while he reaches around to undo the belt and free his hands. his heart bursts at the way gale instantly wraps his arms around him, clinging to him as they both catch their breath, john petting his hair and showering him with praise.
he eventually huffs out a laugh, murmuring a "sorry buck. payback's a bitch, but that was an accident, i swear." gale groans against him in complaint, lightly nipping at his shoulder in retaliation, too tired to fight back, but john's sure he'll pay for it eventually.
it's confirmed with the "better watch your back, darling" that he gets when they're both pulling their clothes back on, but to john, that sounds less like a threat and more like a good time, and he shoots gale a crooked grin to let him know as much.
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fourteenthz · 16 days
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VIERAPRIL 10 - BREATH
I dream of their breath stopping, and before I know, mine does too.
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kineticallyanywhere · 23 days
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wip wednesday, why not
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mamawasatesttube · 1 month
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one thing that is kinda wild to notice is the way fic seems to have gotten a shorter and shorter lifespan over the years. granted, i only have my own anecdotal experience to go by, and there's plenty of factors that can contribute to that, but it's wild because like i remember posting fic in like 2015 would get so much more engagement over time than posting fic today. in 2015 if i posted something i generally would get comments and interaction with it for a week or so before it tapered off into obscurity. today, its like. you post a fic and after 24 hours its dead in the water. odd.
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bookshelf-in-progress · 7 months
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There's always a danger of caring too much about a story, and then getting paralyzed by the need to do it justice, so it never gets written.
I've solved this problem in the past by writing stories so fast that I don't have time to get too invested, or writing stories that I'm not that attached to.
But maybe the trick is to love the story so much that I want to share it any way I can, even if it's imperfect. To feel that any version of this story is better than the story never getting written at all. To get out of my own way and stop worrying about what other people will think of my writing, or even what I think of my writing, and love the story for its own sake, love the readers enough to want to have the joy of sharing the story with them.
Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. But so far it feels like a much better approach.
#adventures in writing#i think inklings has finally born fruit for me#other years i've stayed far away from beloved story concepts#for just this reason#and then i mentally shelved most of those story concepts#recognizing i'd likely never write them in a way that lives up to my imagination#and that probably gave me the distance i needed to pick some of them up again#for one thing the short time frame of inklings forces me to get down to the heart of the concept to fit it into a short story#and the long development time means i've had time to figure out what the core of the concept *is*#what keeps this story lingering in my imagination; which means i know what the good parts are#and then the deadline also forces me to try to write it fast and short#because if i don't write it for inklings i likely never will#and that's a tragedy i want to avoid#having such a clear concept of the story's core#means i can put up with ugly haphazard drafts#because i know what the overall story feels like; i've had years to develop it#so instead of a bad draft proving a story's not worth writing#i *know* that the story's worth writing because it's stuck with me this long#so the ugly drafts are just the building blocks necessary to create the final product#of course the danger is that i'll put out a story and it won't be as cool outside my head#and people will hate this piece of my soul i've poured out to them#but if i love it enough maybe it'll reach that special status#where it means so much to me personally that the wider audience reaction doesn't matter#but before i worry about this i gotta write a draft first
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hold on i need to get a thought and emotions out. so with Welcome Home, there seems to be a before and an after. obviously, we're in the after. the website is the after. and if it turns out that the story we see, the one where shit hits the fan and the show is practically erased, then... that already happened. whatever horrors we see, we'll know that there is no saving them. there is no happy ending - it happened, and it's tragic. the show is doomed to end and be scrubbed away. if any of the characters are revealed to be dead/gone by the website, then when/if we see them at an earlier point, we'll Know
and there's a special kind of dread and horror in that for us, the audience.
#im not articulating this the way i want to...#it's like going to see a tragic play. like romeo and juliet for instance.#we go into it knowing the end. they die. no matter what they die. every step they take leads to That End#every happy moment is undercut by the knowledge that it won't last#thinking about this makes me think that at some point learning more about the story/characters is gonna feel like digging up a grave#AGH I LOVE IT THOUGH I LOVE IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH BUT I LOVE IT#its a special feeling of dread/nostalgia/bittersweetness/resignation#and that is sensation in the chest that doesnt feel good but it also does somehow? it hurts but just enough to not be unbearable?#welcome home#welcome home speculation#welcome home puppet show#man i am so so so so scared for the puppets lmfao#i have some theories on the ways shit might go down. like little things. souring relationships and such#i also have a feeling that the story is really gonna hit home (ha) for me in Big Ways#like as soon as i saw clown say that it's kinda about 'when does a home become a house' and stuff#OOF. YIKES. WHEN DOES IT INDEED. i mean i know. ive lived it. im Living it.#this is gonna get unintentionally personal Real Fast in Several Fun And Festive Ways for me huh#i wonder if the story is gonna be uncovered linearly or not...#chewing on it chewing on it chewing on it#i can't wait to Understand the world/characters so that i can write fanfic. i want to so badly. i want to Explore#i want to hop into that grave and keep digging
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bambeebirdie · 10 months
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This is for @bluepeachstudios ‘s Ghost in a Shell. It’s really good you should read it.
I looked at exactly one picture of Jupiter Jim and went “yeah this should be enough to draw him.” I will not be answering if it actually was
Have some bonus content under the cut!
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And sketches
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(I love any character who can say “I don’t want to go back to prison” it’s like the funniest thing to me)
#i don’t know what compelled me to hand write that text. it’s not very good#we just don’t do things the easy way here. that’s why I render with an app on my phone. i don’t believe in simplicity#i had a plan for a lot more full body shots but then I couldn’t find any good lair references so I decided to screw it#I’ve never drawn rise characters before. this is my first time drawing them and expressions wow#I’m not very good at style copying and my default is so much rounder than rise is so that was just a woof#i should say all text in these shit posts aren’t canon at all. you can figure out where they likely take place yes#but they never show up in story#just a little fyi incase anyone decides to check it out#the entire inspiration for this post was just watching 2003 and going#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DID THAT??#ghost causally dropping the most wild facts about his life has like endless shit post potential#yeah I went to space. stole a ship. went to jail. aided a fugitive. held a dictator at gunpoint#and folks that’s just one arc. go watch 2003#i debated making angst as it is likely more currently topical but I’m a shit poster at heart#chapter 29. how we feeling boys? I’m actually doing rather well. i think just the fact the build up is over and I’m so tired I no longer#have emtions I’m just pumped for the next chapter whoo!#i started to lose mojo very fast while doing this but I wanted to finish today so I did. i hope it’s not too obvious#yeah anyways go read ghost in a shell#go watch 2003#go read ghost in a shell#i’m gonna go to bed now#ghost in the shell#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2018#fan fiction recommendations#fan art of a fan fic#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003
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morgana-ren · 6 months
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You ever see a piece of media that is very blatantly meant for adult consumption but for some reason, the fan base around it is ultimately comprised of packs of rabid 12 year olds who shouldn't be indulging in the media in the first place and utterly lack critical thinking or comprehension and couldn't understand nuance or perspective if you gave them baby's first homework assignment on it?
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thetriggeredhappy · 6 months
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would you people still consider me a respectable writer if i told you that basically everything i’ve written since 2019 has been done in the notes app
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daddiesdrarryy · 3 months
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I usually don’t have writer’s block, I have writer’s slump, where I’m still writing but it’s a slower progress than usual. Does that make sense?
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oozeandgoo-art · 4 months
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had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.
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#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading#oc#im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people#im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though#besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol#sketch#god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking#colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING#and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement#it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it#put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead#ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it#the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does#rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you''#however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here.#includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares#which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down#and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that...#(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL)#seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.
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yuridovewing · 5 months
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its actually so bullshit how the fandom came down harder on palebird than sandgorse. even though sandgorse's shittiness drives the entire book.
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chibishortdeath · 7 months
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I have a Castlevania OC >:3c. He and his story are still very work in progress stuff, but he’s got some rough concept doodles! And when I say rough I mean ROUGH cause one of his arms I erased so many times some of the layers of the paper were tearing so I had to just leave it as is and it looks a little short whoops— but yeah
His name is William “Billy” Danasty :3. I think I’m gonna have his story be set sometime around the height of the Satanic Panic with music and stuff, he’s kinda a bit of a metalhead. He seems all tough and scary, carries a switchblade at all times, and keeps everyone at a distance, but it’s not because he’s mean, he’s just afraid of people. He does make some friends eventually, but I don’t have drawings of them yet. I need to make a nice full color concept page for him someday hehehe.
Also, NES Castlevania style sprites are fun to make!!! :D
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 2 months
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i have yet another work dilemna HELP so i'm working from home today and tomorrow but they like. haven't given me anything to do yet? i've done my laundry and i'm probably going to paint my nails but like. i feel like i should be doing work but they literally haven't given me anything to do
AND the reason why this is a problem is that i booked dinner reservations tomorrow bc i knew i would be working from home, but the only table we could get was at 4:45pm (i'm meant to finish work at 5). but i thought NO WORRIES i'll just do all the work super quickly and then have time to make it to my fancy dinner in style. but that plan is quickly dissolving bc i can't do the work early if i don't know what it is???
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tariah23 · 6 months
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Genuinely curious: how bad did jujutsu kaisen get (i dropped off prettyyyy early but i thought it had potential! And i heard great things about it! But now it's like...hmmm not so good 🗿)
I wouldn’t say it’s completely BOOTY (It’s still pretty decent actually even though I do complain a lot about my grievances that I have with it!) After the Shibuya incident (the arc is fucking amazing btw. Idk how far you’d gotten but the Hidden Inventory was also sick as well!!! Two of the best arcs back to back! Gege was absolutely feeling himself when he wrote these 😭) the writing had definitely begun to noticeably take a nosedive.
I remember Gege often getting sick, resulting in him having to take multiple hiatus after finishing up with Shibuya and it had even gotten to the point where he’d put out rushed chapters (he never used to do this so whenever he’d do so, it was pretty noticeable because his writing had always been pretty entertaining and fairly good (imo) up to this point…) and even incomplete chapters…. (When I first read that very specific, incomplete chapter, I legit thought that it had been drawn that way on purpose??? Like maybe it was drawn in a sketchy way for stylistic purposes! It was pretty cool to me at the time until I’d learned that he just couldn’t finish drawing the chapter and had to put it out as is… then this is where the hiatus had began. Because he’d take a break (great! His health is more important than anything after all) and then come back with half assed chapters from time to time? (I believe all of the breaks definitely effected the momentum that he’d built up for himself tbh. But I’m glad that he put himself first regardless.)
Enemy curse users during both the Colony and the Culling Game arcs felt more like “villains of the week,” over than anything else and were just there to be defeated by the MC’s and to extract little pieces of information at a time. Most of them didn’t even stand out all too much outside of a few. Incidents that took place throughout these two arcs felt completely pointless and added nothing to the story whatsoever. Then there’d be long stretches of time in between the story where important characters like for instance: Megumi and Yuuji, would be absent from the story for unnecessarily long periods of time for no reason at all because Gege’s pacing had begun to take a toll on the writing side of things???
There would be instances where important and genuinely EXCITING things would happen only for the story to go back to feeling like a bunch of nonsense again and then this would become a sort of rinse and repeat type of thing. Don’t even get me started on the Gojo VS Sukuna fight…… both my fucking head and heart still hurts over what happened if I’m being honest because HOLY SHIT, Gege fucking sucks 😭!!! How do you do THIS to such an important character in the series bro. It still doesn’t even feel right like. What was even the fucking POINT of this 3 month long ass fight 😭😭😭!???!? Quite a few other slightly major deaths were poorly executed as well… there’s just…. SO MANY INCONSISTENCIES and plot points that felt as if they were going to MATTER in the end; become important later on, only for them to end up not mattering at all…
The plot is still unfolding but UHHH… Also, depending on how far you’d gotten into reading or watching it, things do become extremely depressing after a certain point in the story like, the characters have not had a good time ever since the students played baseball with each other in that one episode/ manga chapter before ALL of the bullshit started 😭. Everyone is a wreck! Everything is a mess! What is the point!!! JJK is definitely misery porn. It excels in it.
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